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Episode 230: Comedian Josh Pray challenges Captain Brien to see who is the most athletic!



Comedian Josh Pray joins Captain Brien! They discuss how Josh Pray has become the “Jeep Man,” discuss Josh Pray’s current projects, and Captain Brien and Josh Pray create an athletes challenge to see how the best athlete is!

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The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!

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Episode 229: Comedian James Davis!



Comedian and Game Show Host James Davis joins Captain Brien to discuss his upcoming game show on Netflix, his golf game, social media and spring break!

Siri can now help you listen to your favorite podcasts! Say things like “play The Captains Log” or “play my newest podcasts.” You can also ask Siri about the podcast that is currently playing and request to be subscribed! Just tell Siri “subscribe to this show!”

Watch Full Video —————> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZTZyC5o8HN0&t=29s

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!

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Special Episode: Relationship Advice from the Captain, Big Mama and The Wild Bunch!



Captain Brien joins The Man Panel to discuss relationship advice with Big Mama and The Wild Bunch on B103.9! Have any relationship advice questions you would like answered? Drop your questions below in the comments!

Siri can now help you listen to your favorite podcasts! Say things like “play The Captains Log” or “play my newest podcasts.” You can also ask Siri about the podcast that is currently playing and request to be subscribed! Just tell Siri “subscribe to this show!”

Watch Full Video —————>  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKAFEWP8a8o

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!

Website: https://b1039.com/2018/02/12/the-man-panel


Episode 224: Comedians Richy Leis and Kristina Montouri



Comedians Richy Leis and Kristina Montouri join Captain Brien! They kick off the laughs with a beat box free style, discuss famous DMs they’ve received, and talk about psychic readings they’ve experienced!

Siri can now help you listen to your favorite podcasts! Say things like “play The Captains Log” or “play my newest podcasts.” You can also ask Siri about the podcast that is currently playing and request to be subscribed! Just tell Siri “subscribe to this show!”

Watch Full Video —————> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpxXZthsiEQ

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!

Check Comedians Richy Leis and Kristina Montouri out and show them some love at:


Episode 223: Evidential Medium Cindy Kaza!



Evidential Medium Cindy Kaza is back again with Captain Brien! This time they discuss a current trending story about fake and fraudulent mediums!

Siri can now help you listen to your favorite podcasts! Say things like “play The Captains Log” or “play my newest podcasts.” You can also ask Siri about the podcast that is currently playing and request to be subscribed! Just tell Siri “subscribe to this show!”

Watch Full Video —————> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0X1ow9Zpjp8&t=377s

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!

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Special Episode: Captain Brien joins Ryan Hoppe on Hoppe Hour!



The tables have turned and Captain Brien is in the hot seat! Ryan Hoppe of the Hoppe Hour Podcast interviews Captain Brien! They discuss how Captain Brien started his company, his success, and how he likes spending his free time!

Siri can now help you listen to your favorite podcasts! Say things like “play The Captains Log” or “play my newest podcasts.” You can also ask Siri about the podcast that is currently playing and request to be subscribed! Just tell Siri “subscribe to this show!”

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!

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Episode 222: Dry Bar Comedy Tour!



The comedians from the Dry Bar Comedy Tour join Captain Brien! They discuss how the Dry Bar Comedy Tour started, how to make viral videos, and what it’s like being a “clean” comic!

Siri can now help you listen to your favorite podcasts! Say things like “play The Captains Log” or “play my newest podcasts.” You can also ask Siri about the podcast that is currently playing and request to be subscribed! Just tell Siri “subscribe to this show!”

Watch Full Video —————> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IgDFshJU4B0&t=607s

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!

Check out the comedians from the Dry Bar Comedy Tour and show them some love at:


Episode 221 The Captain’s Log with Dr. Daller & Captain Brien!



Dr. Daller is back again with Captain Brien to tell us all about the benefits of drinking Apple Cider Vinegar!

Dr. Daller will be joining Captain Brien EVERY Tuesday at 2:30 on the Captains Log to answer any questions you may have! Make sure you tune in and comment with your questions!

Siri can now help you listen to your favorite podcasts! Say things like “play The Captains Log” or “play my newest podcasts.” You can also ask Siri about the podcast that is currently playing and request to be subscribed! Just tell Siri “subscribe to this show!”

Watch Full Video —————> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dk1KCsise_M&t=20s

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!

Check Dr. Daller out and show him some love at:

  • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/meir.daller/
  • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dallermd/

PODCAST RECAP

Miss something on one of our episodes of the #naplescaptainslog? Don’t worry we got you covered! Here you will find a full transcript from this episode of the #naplescaptainslog!

Captain Brien: Welcome back to Captain’s Log, Dr. Doller again, again.

Dr. Daller: Captain, how you doin’, buddy?

Captain Brien: Every Tuesday.

Dr. Daller: Loving it.

Captain Brien: I wanna learn about the health benefits of apple cider vinegar. This is a big thing, right, it’s a big topic.

Dr. Daller: It’s huge. So, apple cider vinegar, if you Google apple cider vinegar, you’re going to see tens of thousands of inputs from different people, from scientists. You know, apple cider vinegar, Captain Brien, has been around for 3500 years. This is not something that was just invented. And there’s not too much scientific evidence because it’s cheap, you know, a bottle of apple cider vinegar, even if you buy it–

Captain Brien: But is it a fad?

Dr. Daller: No, it’s not a fad. Again, it cannot be a fad for 3500 years. A fad is something that has been around for, you know, six months, in six months gonna go away. This has been around from Roman times, from Biblical time.

Captain Brien: And you told me, I keep interrupting, but you told me about the mothers, it’s gotta be the one with the mothers, yes?

Dr. Daller: That’s the one I use, because I believe in organic, I believe in unpasteurized, I believe that it’s not filtered, so the one with the mother, it’s, again, it’s unfiltered, it has, what’s the mother? The mother is all the remnants. The mother is what you call, you heard about probiotics? There is something called prebiotics. Probiotics are the microbes that you’re going to ingest every morning that you’re going to take. They are found in yogurt and other things. Prebiotics is what this microbe needs to grow, so that mother, that stuff, it’s like, just think about like a Petri dish to grow those microbes in your gut. So, and again, I like the fact that it’s unfiltered as well. So, I spend another dollar. It’s overall cheap, four bucks, you guy it and it lasts you for a year. You don’t need to refrigerate apple cider vinegar, and it’s fantastic. Again, the test of time is probably the best test in life, the best test in medicine for sure, because, for example, if I have a lesion on my arm here and I go to the dermatologist and he tells me, hey Doc, you know, I want to remove it, this doesn’t look like. I said, buddy, I had it for 30 years this has been around, so the fact that it had been around for 30 years, most likely it’s not deadly.

Captain Brien: You’re gonna make it.

Dr. Daller: I’m going to make it. So, the same with apple cider vinegar. The fact that it has been treated with patients, after patients, after patients, and people believe in that, and it’s working. So, there is some science behind this. There’s Japanese scientists, there’s American scientists that have done apple cider vinegar. So, today we’ll talk a little bit about the science, and we’ll talk about how to take it. Let’s start by how to take apple cider vinegar. What do I do? I do, and again, that’s what I like about your podcast. The podcast gives the tools to people to live healthy, the tools for people to laugh, the tools for people to enjoy life, because, after all, this is a short business, it’s all temporary business.

Captain Brien: That’s right, it’s 100 years or less expiration date.

Dr. Daller: 100 years, from your mouth to God’s ears, please. 100 years, I mean, we would love 100 years. That would be fantastic. But you give them the tools, Captain Brien, to really enjoy life, to have a healthy life, to see less doctors. It’s bad for my business, but overall, it’s good when I see patients that are healthy, they are in good shape, and everything else. So, what do I do? I take a six to eight ounce glass of water, I put a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar. I use Bragg’s brand, but it can be any brand, and I mix it, and I drink it in the morning.

Captain Brien: Straight?

Dr. Daller: Straight.

Captain Brien: Do you put ice water or water?

Dr. Daller: Just, I put cold water, but no, not right out of the tap. So, it’s refrigerated water, just because it’s easier for me to drink it.

Captain Brien: Do you shoot it in one shot, because I did it for about a week, and I don’t know if it helped or not, but for some reason, I just got sidetracked and forgot about it, and now I look at the damn apple cider vinegar every day on my counter and I say, why am I not doing it?

Dr. Daller: And what happened to you happens to everybody. Everybody is very good for one week. They’re very good for one week going to the gym, they’re very good about eating healthy, you know, fruits and vegetables for one week, and then they fall off the wagon. So, the key here is getting to be persistent. You cannot see results if you do something for a week. You have to be persistent, and it’s sustainable, it’s easy. So, because the last episode, we talked about, you know, the intermittent fasting, because I intermittent fast, and I don’t have breakfast, so, what I do, I do it in the morning and I do it at night before I go to bed, and that does suppress my appetite, and that’s something really, really important. So, apple cider vinegar will make you feel like you’re full, make you feel like what we call satiety. You feel like, you know, I’m not that hungry, and so–

Captain Brien: What if you take it on an empty stomach? You don’t feel like it’s gonna go right out?

Dr. Daller: No, not at all.

Captain Brien: I think maybe you’re a pro.

Dr. Daller: I’m like a professional.

Captain Brien: Your stomach’s like a vise.

Dr. Daller: Not at all, it’s very good. Your stomach acidity is about two, so apple cider vinegar, the acidity of apple cider vinegar is 2.5, the pH. So just think about, the lower the pH, the more acidic things are. Your car battery, the acidity of a car battery is one, so the acidity in your stomach, your stomach is quite acidic, and apple cider vinegar, counterintuitively, apple cider vinegar for patients that have what you call gerd or reflux disease, it does help them. The acidity does help to solve that–

Captain Brien: So when they say, what about this thing that they say, everyone wants to drink alkaline water? Oh, I gotta have alkaline water, a specialty.

Dr. Daller:Right, so, there’s no science behind that, and I do hear that.

Captain Brien: It’s a bunch of bull?

Captain Brien: No, I didn’t say that. So, there is a difference between there is no science behind it and it’s a bunch of bull. So, there’s science behind stuff, it’s something that was researched, something that, you know–

Captain Brien: Clinically proven.

Dr. Daller: Clinically proven. A bunch of bull is saying, you know what, it’s clinically proven that it’s bull, you understand? So, you have to do the research to find that it’s bull. Some patients say, you know what, I benefit from alkaline water. I say, you know what, if you’re benefiting, do it. I don’t see any harm.

Captain Brien: I had somebody telling me that they have to drink alkaline water ’cause they’re on a special diet.

Dr. Daller: Again, I don’t know–

Captain Brien: Is there such a thing?

Dr. Daller: So, there is no diet–

Captain Brien: I think they just needed to drink their own water at the club.

Dr. Daller: And you know what, they spend another dollar, you buy it–

Captain Brien: Yeah, they just didn’t wanna spend $3 on a bottle of water.

Captain Brien: So right, they wanted to have their own water.

Dr. Daller: Correct.

Dr. Daller: And people do that at the airports, and do that in the hotel, and they say, oh, I want kosher water. What is kosher water? Every water’s kosher, you know? I want certain things, or I’m allergic to this.

Captain Brien: Onions, I’m allergic to onions.

Dr. Daller: I want to bring my own food to the restaurant. I mean, that’s a trick we did in college, but right now, we can’t do that anymore. It’s not cool, it’s not cool, right, to do that. So, let’s go back to apple cider vinegar. So, apple cider vinegar will make you feel like you are full. So, as a result of that, so, studies show that you are going to take 300 calories less a day if you take apple cider vinegar.

Captain Brien: Really?

Dr. Daller: So, just by that, it’s not a lot, just think, but it’s something, it adds up.

Captain Brien: It’s something.

Dr. Daller: It adds up. So, that’s why one–

Captain Brien: That’s 2100 calories a week.

Dr. Daller: Correct, so that’s why one week is not enough, so if you do it over here, you feel like, wow, I already ate less. Okay, so that’s one thing. The second thing is, it’s going to improve your metabolism, your overall metabolism is going to increase. By how much, we don’t know because, again, there is no research about it.

Captain Brien: Why has nobody tested this?

Dr. Daller: Because, I’ll tell you why, because there is no money here.

Captain Brien: Randy, how come no one’s tested it? Len, get out there, start testing it. Daniel, hey guys. They’re not watching.

Dr. Daller: Again, a bottle of apple cider vinegar is five bucks. This is not Big Pharma, there’s no Merck and Pfizer behind this, so there’s no money.

Captain Brien: Right, so Greg could get out there and do some damn clinical tests!

Dr. Daller: But even if they do–

Captain Brien: Then make all the money.

Dr. Daller: They will still sell it for five bucks a bottle, and that bottle lasts for a year, so it’s no, there is no huge business here. It’s not like a bottle of wine, you know, you sell for 20 bucks, you drink it that night. You cannot drink an apple cider vinegar, the whole bottle, one night. I mean, that would be a disaster if you do that, so that’s not good. So that’s why, there’s no money involved here, and as a result of that, I mean, people are not doing research. Also, the industries supported by pharmaceutical companies, they want money, they’re in the money business. And, you know, Captain Brien and I, we give you information as they are. I mean, there’s no, this is uncensored–

Captain Brien: Yeah, they’re not sponsoring this podcast.

Dr. Daller: No, they are not sponsoring.

Captain Brien: Although we are available.

Dr. Daller: If they want to call us, you know, we are willing to negotiate something with them. But, again, so it’s going to improve your metabolism, it’s going to increase your feeling full, it’s going to help you with calcium absorption. That’s very important for patients that have osteopetrosis, and if you want not to develop osteopetrosis, it’s going to help with calcium absorption in your body, but most importantly, for patients with type II diabetes, or patients with what we call pre-diabetes, patients that you know are going to develop diabetes, they have already some of the signs, they have certain levels of AIC that is going up, and things like that, certain labs that are abnormal. That’s going to help you with insulin regulation. So, and there are several studies about apple cider vinegar helping with the insulin receptor for the sugar.

Captain Brien: So, what happens if you just take a spoonful, ’cause some people do it that way, right? They don’t water it down.

Dr. Daller: Nothing wrong with that. I like watering it down because I want to protect my teeth, and I think that it’s very harsh on the enamel.

Captain Brien: Oh.

Dr. Daller: So, I don’t want to take it as a, but you can put it in your salad, mix it in your salad like this, so you don’t have it all at once.

Captain Brien: So, if you drink it through a straw?

Dr. Daller: Captain Brien always thinks about, you know, he’s so innovative. And you can do that, but again, I like it diluted because it’s nice on my esophagus also. The esophagus is the tube that goes all the way to the stomach. I don’t want to be too harsh on that. When it reaches the stomach, the environment there is such that it’s no big deal.

Captain Brien: And do you shoot it in one shot or do you drink it slow? Does it matter?

Dr. Daller: It doesn’t matter. It takes me two gulps to finish it completely. And you know, I cannot tell you, wow, it’s delicious. It’s not delicious.

Captain Brien: It’s not delicious.

Dr. Daller: It doesn’t taste great, but you know what, and I cannot tell you it’s acquired because I have been doing this for a while and I’ve not acquired it yet.

Captain Brien: Right, exactly. Yeah, after the week long torture I still did it, but it was not pleasantly exciting.

Dr. Daller: So, one more item that is very, very important about apple cider vinegar, before we go to esoteric things of apple cider vinegar. So, when you are taking apple cider vinegar, and let’s say you have half a bagel with that, so you have apple cider vinegar, and then you take half a bagel, and the bagel with the starch and all the stuff that’s in bagels, or you take whatever starchy food, so apple cider vinegar will prevent the enzymes that are in your stomach to digest starch, and that’s very good.

Captain Brien: So does that mean it comes out quicker?

Dr. Daller: No, it will come out as is without being digested, and that’s what we like. Why do we like cauliflower and stuff like that? Because your body, it’s very difficult for you to digest.

Captain Brien: Kale.

Dr. Daller: Kale, right, all these vegetables are difficult to digest. As a result, they come out, all the fibers. Here, with starch, the enzymes that digest starch, the apple cider vinegar is going to inhibit those enzymes. As a result of that, you’re not going to digest the starch, and it’s going to come out, and you’re not going to absorb the starch. Now, Captain Brien, I know what you’re going to do. Right now, you’re going to buy a dozen bagels and a little bit of apple cider vinegar and have them. That won’t work. Why is that? Because it’s true in the stomach it’s not going to digest it, but if you have a huge load of starch, that will go to the stomach–

Captain Brien: Get absorbed.

Dr. Daller: No, it’s going to go into your small intestine, and in your small intestine and in your colon, you’re going to have, that’s going to be fermented. All the starch is going to be fermented, and then you’re going to have absorption of that, and you’re going to get that sugar high, which is not good. So don’t buy the dozen bagels.

Captain Brien: Yeah, don’t do that. Just in moderation, it’s not the cure from it all. It’s not like if you take a spoonful of apple cider vinegar, you can go out and eat prime rib every night. It’s just gonna help a little bit.

Dr. Daller: That’s correct.

Captain Brien: But it’s got great benefits, positive benefits. And Randy wants to know, what is the mothers? We started this conversation where Dr. Daller did explain what the mother is, but go ahead and quickly tell him.

Dr. Daller: So, the mother is all the remnants, all the things that are what I call prebiotics. Not probiotics, prebiotics. These are the things that you need for things to ferment. So, these are what you call, in a non-medical term, schmutz. The schmutz is all the dirt, and that dirt is very important.

Dr. Daller: That’s what grows the enzymes, correct?

Dr. Daller: That’s correct, that’s where everything can grow. The probiotics grows on prebiotics, so that’s important. So, Captain Brien is absolutely right. Apple cider vinegar by itself, if you go and have donuts right now and have apple cider, it will never work. It works if you listen to Captain Brien’s podcast, and you listen to us every Tuesday, and you’re going to do intermittent fasting, and you’re going to eat healthy, and you’re going to take care of yourself, and you’re going to exercise, and you’re going to do yoga, and you’re going to meditate, and you’re not going to watch the news, and you’re going to go to the comedy club, and you’re going to laugh, and you’re going to laugh because laughter–

Captain Brien: When you drink vodka and alcohol it better be sugar-free, gluten-free.

Dr. Daller: Captain Brien, and then on Sundays, you have the good bloody Mary because the vegetables, and the fruits, and everything else here, so absolutely, enjoy life to the fullest, absolutely. We are not discouraging people from enjoying life. We encourage people to enjoy life, very, very important. But again, organic food is important, and healthy food is important, and fruit and vegetables are important. These are all important elements that, all together, they’re going to help your life and prevent you from seeing me or seeing any doctor.

Captain Brien: So, I had a question someone DMed me on the intermittent fasting that we did last week. So, the person was questioning that, if they don’t make it for 16 hours, which is the optimum time, what if they only fast for 11 hours? Is there still a positive benefit from that, where they were hungry, and then they broke the hunger after 11 hours, and they didn’t get into 12, to 16 hours. Is it still okay for them, or is just not doing anything good for them?

Dr. Daller: No, no, it’s better than nothing, it’s better than nothing. So, ideally they’re going to go for 16 hours slowly. But if they can only do 10 hours, which is two hours after they sleep for seven, eight hours, and then two extra hours they don’t right away and immediately, oh, I need my, whatever they eat, McDonald’s, McMuffins, one of these McMuffins right away. What do you have at McDonald’s?

Captain Brien: I guess it could be a McMuffin. I don’t eat McDonald’s.

Dr. Daller: McMuffin, or one of these McMorning sandwiches.

Captain Brien: But I do like Dunkin Donuts, that’s my favorite.

Dr. Daller: Sure, so if they don’t do it right away, that helps. But again, if you want to have the best benefits, the longer you are fasting, the better off it is for your brain, the better off it is for your body, the better off it is to lose that belly fat.

Captain Brien: So, if they did 12 hours, that’s great, it’s still positive benefit.

Dr. Daller: Yes.

Captain Brien: Okay, so that’s the answer to that one. Hi, Cindy, I have people messaging me. What’s going on? Hey, Heidi, how are you? We’re live on The Captain’s Log, this is the podcast. You guys can always download the podcast on Stitcher, iTunes, SoundCloud, we’re on Spotify, you could go to Google apps and download it on your favorite podcast app. Anyway, we’re also on YouTube, so don’t forget, if you like it, share it, tell your friends, and say hello. You can always DM questions to myself or Dr. Daller. You can find us both on Facebook and Instagram, or even Twitter, and say hello.

Dr. Daller: Let’s see, what else? Some esoteric things about apple cider vinegar. So, being a captain, you are in the sea, you’re swimming, and all of a sudden, a jellyfish stung you. The best cure for jellyfish stinging is?

Captain Brien: Yeah, an acid.

Dr. Daller: Acid, correct, so apple cider vinegar.

Captain Brien: Or you could pee on it.

Dr. Daller: Or you can pee on it, right.

Captain Brien: Because your pee is acidic, but not as much.

Dr. Daller: Correct, not as much, not as acidic. Your pH in your urine is between five and a half and seven, six and a half, so it’s acidic, but not very acidic. But apple cider vinegar, if you have apple cider vinegar, absolutely, it will help the stinging.

Captain Brien: If you take a lot of apple cider vinegar, will it make your pee more acidic?

Dr. Daller: It would, so it will change your pH, but again, with apple cider vinegar, more is not better, so I really encourage people to do it not more than three, I do it twice a day, but no more than three times a day, because–

Captain Brien: So, in the morning.

Dr. Daller: In the morning, you can do it just before lunch. For example, if you really want to lose weight, just before, maybe 10, 15 minutes before lunch, have another glass of apple cider vinegar, you are going to, again, you are not going to feel like you want to eat anything.

Captain Brien: Especially after you taste it.

Dr. Daller: After you taste it, you will feel like you want to puke. But no, it’s not that bad, really. For those who didn’t try it, some people put a little bit of lemon, some people put honey. I don’t like to put honey on it because I don’t need that extra sugar, extra calories there, but I take it straight with water.

Captain Brien: I’m gonna try the Bragg’s, they have a, they have one that already has the honey and lemon. Has anyone tried that, have you tried it?

Dr. Daller: No, I never tried it, you know–

Captain Brien: Does that kill the effects of the live probiotic, or no?

Dr. Daller: No, it does not. No, apple cider vinegar, if you look, there is no expiration date on apple cider vinegar.

Captain Brien: But even when you mix it with, like, lemon?

Dr. Daller: When you mix it with honey and stuff like that, I’m sure there is. I mean, honey is a, is problematic. But when you look at apple cider vinegar, apple cider vinegar can live with no refrigerator for thousands of years. You know, when you find wine from 1000 years ago, it’s vinegar essentially. So, you know, apple cider vinegar does not expire. It doesn’t go bad at all.

Captain Brien: So, overall, you’re a big fan, you suggest that everyone does it.

Dr. Daller: I’m a big fan of overall healthy living, so I’m not a big fan of one thing, I’m a big fan of many, many things. I don’t believe in one thing, I believe in–

Captain Brien: You like a combination.

Dr. Daller: Right, you do have to go to the gym, and you do have to exercise, and you do have to meditate, and you do have to do a little bit of yoga, and you do have to eat responsibly and healthy in small portions, and you do have to laugh and enjoy life, and you have to, you know, celebrate every day. And you know, I do believe in thanking God every single morning. I thank God for everything that I have, I thank God for my health, I thank God for being alive. Extremely important.

Captain Brien: What’s Bragg’s amino acid they sell good for?

Dr. Daller: Yeah, so amino acids, so, the apple cider vinegar really does not have any nutritional factor. For example, if you look at apple cider vinegar, the back, there is no amino acids there, there’s nothing there. Apple cider vinegar is really, in a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar, there are only three calories. It’s nothing. It does count as anything, and it doesn’t have any vitamins or anything like that. I did see in the supermarket the Bragg’s amino acid. I’m not a big fan.

Captain Brien: No, just stick with the natural?

Dr. Daller: Keep it simple, you know, you want amino acid, a very good source of amino acids are proteins, okay? So that’s how you can get your amino acid, get your proteins. What are proteins? Proteins are a bunch of amino acids together.

Captain Brien: So, how much water have you drank since the last time we talked to you? We’re gonna try to drink more.

Dr. Daller: So I have been. So, I’ve been very good. So, what I’m doing now, I bring from home a big jug of 800 CCs, 800 mLs of water, and I put mint, like yesterday, I put some fresh mint in it and a tangerine, and I drink four or five of these every day. So, I bring it to the office and then I fill them up, fill them up, fill them up. And because, you know, for some reason, if it’s a bottle of water, I feel like, wow, I drank a bottle, and a bottle of water is 500 CCs, it’s nothing.

– Nothing, you gotta drink more. You’ve been doing good.

Dr. Daller: I’ve been doing very good.

Captain Brien: I have my Yeti, my 22 ounce Yeti, I’ve been trying to drink that all day, keep filling it up.

Dr. Daller: Love it. But not all day, multiple times. Fill it up, fill it up, fill it up.

Captain Brien: Just keep drinking and filling.

Dr. Daller: Fill it all the time, yep.

Captain Brien: And then I run to the bathroom too.

Dr. Daller: Absolutely.

Captain Brien: I noticed that, since I drank more, obviously I’m going to the bathroom more. You know, I would only go to the bathroom two times a day, until the bedtime would be the third time. Now I’m going three, four times during the day. That’s good, right?

Dr. Daller: How much do you weight, Captain?

Captain Brien: I weigh 176 pounds.

Dr. Daller: That’s wonderful.

Captain Brien: That’s good?

Dr. Daller: Yeah, that’s good, I mean–

Captain Brien: I wanna get down to 171.

Dr. Daller: So do it, try it. Easy, for you it’s nothing.

Captain Brien: Yeah, I know.

Dr. Daller: For you it’s nothing.

Captain Brien: Oh my god, this guy’s in a rush. The light just turned green half a second ago.

Dr. Daller: It’s like, you see, they don’t listen to your podcast. They need to listen to the podcast.

Captain Brien: Apparently he has no idea about The Captain’s Log.

Dr. Daller: About living life, not being pissed off all the time. Being pissed off is not healthy.

Captain Brien: Not at all. So yeah, what about plans for the week? Let’s wrap it up. What are you doing?

Dr. Daller: That said, you know, we went fishing outside.

Captain Brien: Oh, when you caught the cobia.

Dr. Daller: We caught the cobia.

Captain Brien: You took a great picture, I loved it.

Dr. Daller: Great fish, delicious, and this weekend, nothing spectacular. You know, kid stuff, you know, the usual activities that we do, but nothing is planned.

Captain Brien: Jen Lee says, “Hey Brien, so happy I tuned in. “Been doing research already with apple cider vinegar. “Can I mix it with water that I flavored “since it doesn’t taste good?”

Dr. Daller: Yeah, you can, you can, you definitely can.

Captain Brien: What flavor are you gonna pick with the vinegar, though?

Dr. Daller: You know–

Captain Brien: I’m pretty good in the kitchen, but I don’t know.

Dr. Daller: I would pick something around the sweeter side of flavors. You know, a fruit that is sweeter, you know, like a peach or something like that. But you know, I don’t know.

Captain Brien: Maybe a little basil with the peach, a little peach basil.

Dr. Daller: There you go, there you go.

Captain Brien: It’s a new business, coming out with a new business.

Dr. Daller: Thinking about it all the time, I love it, I love it.

Captain Brien: All right, well, guys, you don’t wanna miss this week. We have so many great guests coming your way. Dr. Daller’s with me every Tuesday. DM your questions to us, we’ll answer ’em, we’ll answer ’em live on the air or we’ll respond right then and there, whatever you want, we’re happy to do that for you. Thank you for watching. But tomorrow we’re gonna be live again, Gary Owen, he’s coming back. And then Thursday, we have Richy Lala, and then Friday, I got another big one, Cindy Kaza, she’s the medium.

Dr. Daller: Wow, I love her. Oh, she’s the best. She is amazing. I mean, you know, she, when we were in the radio station, she brought my parents back, and that was–

Captain Brien: She brought my grandmother, yeah.

Dr. Daller: I have goosebumps just thinking about it.

Captain Brien:My grandma and my grandpa back. She knew everything right away.

Dr. Daller: She is, she is the real deal. She is amazing, she is pretty, she is beautiful, she is smart, she is everything you want.

Captain Brien: We should find out if she drinks apple cider vinegar.

Dr. Daller: Absolutely, or vodka, for that matter.

Captain Brien: Thanks for tuning in, guys. We’re out!


Episode 220 The Captain’s Log with Kristina Montouri and Captain Brien!



Let us introduce you to the very funny Kristina Montouri! Talk about her life in Naples and what to expect from her comedy!

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Watch Full Video —————>  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfQeLoLvnOg

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!

Check Comedian Kristina Montouri out and show her some love at:

  • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kristinamontuoriwx/
  • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kristinamontuori
  • Twitter: https://twitter.com/kmontuori

PODCAST RECAP

Miss something on one of our episodes of the #naplescaptainslog? Don’t worry we got you covered! Here you will find a full transcript from this episode of the #naplescaptainslog!

Captain Brien: Hey guys, we’re back on the Captain’s Log with Kristina Montuori.

Kristina Montouri: Hey.

Captain Brien: How are you, comedian extraordinaire?

Kristina Montouri I’m great, I’m really excited to actually be meeting you in person. I feel like I already know you from all of the Captain’s Logs I watch.

Captain Brien: Have you been watching?

Kristina Montouri Yeah.

Captain Brien: Oh come on, I’ve gotta give you a test then.

Kristina Montouri: You’re so entertaining.

Captain Brien: What’s your favorite?

Kristina Montouri: Oh, I haven’t watched all of them, you know what I mean? Oh man, oh gosh, what’s his name?

Captain Brien: You should put your seat belt on do you have it on?

Kristina Montouri: It’s on. It’s, on, it’s on.

Captain Brien: Oh okay, don’t scare me.

Kristina Montouri: I’m livin’ on the edge with it behind me but I’ll put it right here.

Captain Brien: Everyone will complain, they’ll start messaging us.

Kristina Montouri: I’ll put it here.

Captain Brien: She doesn’t have her seatbelt on. You’re driving dangerous.

Kristina Montouri: That’s alright, I got it. Safety first.

Captain Brien: You’re good, you’re good.

Kristina Montouri: I got it, safety first.

Captain Brien: You’re just tryin to show off.

Kristina Montouri: Pretty much.

Captain Brien: My chef is letting me go. Hey, Chef Gisson, hey. So, how long you been doing comedy?

Kristina Montouri: I’ve been doing comedy for a couple of years performing comedy, but I’ve been writing comedy since forever. I used to be a weather lady, in that the jokes just write themselves, you know.

Captain Brien: So where were you a weather lady?

Kristina Montouri: In Shreveport, Louisiana first. And then Roanoke, Virginia, which is my hometown.

Captain Brien: And what brought you to this area?

Kristina Montouri: This area. So when I was 15, I came with my family to Naples. We had a Groupon for La Playa, actually.

Captain Brien: Really?

Kristina Montouri: And then yeah. And then my dad was always real big into real estate interstate, real estate. So got a couple of spots in Naples Park, we just came back for vacationing and then just this year I decided to fully embrace the nomad lifestyle and just go where the wind blows. Wherever I feel like I wanna be.

Kristina Montouri: So right now I’m right here.

Captain Brien: And you kinda spend the winters right now you’re gonna be like the youngest snow bird ever.

Kristina Montouri: Pretty much. And I’m not exactly a snow bird, I’m going with nomad, because I was just in Atlanta a couple weeks ago. Probably go back, I have a couple shows in Roanoke, Virginia.

Captain Brien: So you’re kind on a road comic.

Kristina Montouri: In a way, yeah.

Captain Brien: That’s the move.

Kristina Montouri: It’s not a set schedule, I kind of just go, I meet people, such as yourself, get shows, have some fun, when it gets dull, move on to the next spot.

Captain Brien: So you are an aspiring full-time, you wanna be a comic on tour, tell me what the struggles are.

Kristina Montouri: The struggles.

Captain Brien: I can tell you how to help. I can help you.

Kristina Montouri: Okay. Right now I’m having so much fun I haven’t really ran into too many struggles other than my own.

Captain Brien: But the big paid gigs obviously are not happening yet. I mean we have a big show coming up March 2nd at Off The Hook and there’s gonna be a bunch of comics, it’s a showcase show, that’d be great. But I mean, you’re not selling out theaters.

Kristina Montouri: Right, right, right. I also haven’t really invested as much time as I probably should’ve to selling out theaters because I’m having too much fun layin around on the beach.

Captain Brien: Is that the thing?

Kristina Montouri: But here’s the thing. I’ve been kind of goin with what feels right, what feels good in the moment, havin fun with my life because I’d spent too much time just doin what everybody else wanted me to do. But it actually put me in the perfect spot cause I don’t know if you remember, about a year ago came down for your Open Mic Competition, right? So I was down here for that. And I was on the beach, just hangin out, I was writing comedy.

Captain Brien: Say hi to Laura. Hey

Kristina Montouri: Hello Laura.

Captain Brien: Hey Bruce, what’s goin on guys, how are ya? Thanks for watchin.

Kristina Montouri: I love it when people tune in.

Captain Brien: Yeah they say hi.

Kristina Montouri: Yeah, hey guys.

Captain Brien: So you were on the beach.

Kristina Montouri: Yeah I was on the beach, just writing, I had I think the caption was zen out. That’s kind of a play on that very ancient quote rock out with your cock out. I think Blondie said that.

Captain Brien: That’s true.

Kristina Montouri: So yeah zen out with my pen out and you saw that, it was on Instagram and you just commented on it. Hey if you’re in town, I’ve got a guest spot tonight, and it was an hour later.

Captain Brien: That’s cool. How did that even happen?

Kristina Montouri: It was the weirdest thing, it was the like the right spot at the right time and I was thinking I’m all sandy, I’ve been at the beach all day. I can’t be at a show in an hour, there’s no way but I’m like you know what, I gotta make it happen. I ran to the beach, so I had to run back, I’m all sweaty, I’m like alright, I gotta be there in 15 minutes, it takes about 15 minutes to get there.

Captain Brien: I didn’t know any of this. You were very quiet about this.

Kristina Montouri: I was actin like it was all chill. And I’m like okay, I have 30 minutes to get there, it takes about 15 minutes to get there, I’m gonna call an Uber so I can get ready in the car. So I get all my stuff, I’m in the car, the window’s down, I’m drying my hair. I didn’t even wash my hair it’s still wet from the beach. I’m drying my hair out the window, gonna get there, I rush in, I’m like I’ll be able to throw some makeup on or look kinda decent when I get in there. I’ll go to the bathroom, chill out. But I get there and Stacey Steele is hosting, meet her, she’s amazing.

Captain Brien: She’s great.

Kristina Montouri: She’s a friend of mine now. So that’s why all this just worked out by itself. She’s like you’re up in five minutes. I’m like, excuse me, what?

Captain Brien: Wait, so I guess I didn’t even know. So how much time did you have at the time?

Kristina Montouri: She gave me I believe ten minutes.

Captain Brien: Ten minutes. But how much material did you have? Did I ask you that?

Kristina Montouri: Did you ask how much material?

Captain Brien: Did I ask you oh are you okay with doin five or ten or something? No I can’t take that call. Sorry guys. I needed to take that call, that was my attorney, but I can’t take it. Alright, so you had how much material?

Kristina Montouri: I have hours of material.

Captain Brien: At the time?

Kristina Montouri: Yeah.

Captain Brien: Everyone says they have hours of material but they really don’t. How much funny material? I could talk for hours too. But how much funny material did you think you had?

Kristina Montouri: At the time, maybe an hour.

Captain Brien: Okay. But you still weren’t headlining. You headline some gigs now, yes?

Kristina Montouri: Yes. I also produce some of my own shows in Roanoke, Virginia. We had one sell out show. It was over 200 people, really fun time.

Captain Brien: Very cool.

Kristina Montouri: Yeah we brought in traveling comedian, his name’s Cliff Cash, really good. Yeah, follow Cliff Cash. He’s an awesome comedian. But he came out to our show to headline. Kinda co-headline.

Captain Brien: Nice. So the future of comedy for you is going to be what?

Kristina Montouri: The future for comedy for me is going to be – it’s hard to say because I’m telling you now, I’m just doing what I wanna do in the moment and seeing where that takes me. Not making any plans. The only plan is to live in the moment.

Captain Brien: She’s independently wealthy, and she doesn’t have to work. Can we get married? Let’s do that now.

Kristina Montouri: I’m a bougie bum. I’m a bougie bum, I’m just

Captain Brien: How does that work?

Kristina Montouri: A bougie bum. No I’m not. I rent my house, Air BnB. And I’ve been hanging with my brother’s house. So that’s how I’ve been funding some things and I have some other investments too.

Captain Brien: Very cool. So as far as your comedy, tell us what we can expect.

Kristina Montouri: What can you expect from my comedy?

Captain Brien: I’ve seen a bunch, but I wanna know what you –

Kristina Montouri: So I have material from – I used to be married, I just got a divorce too, so that’s another thing. It just changed my life completely, just turned it upside down. The Etch-A-Sketch. This cool thing and just shake it all up and now I’m drawin a new thing and I don’t know what it’s gonna be but we’ll figure it out together. My comedy is very real, I do not censor myself, I have –

Captain Brien: Which no comic should.

Kristina Montouri: They shouldn’t but some people do. You know what I mean? I censored myself for one show because it was a really religious crowd and I totally regretted doing that.

Captain Brien: There is scenarios where you’re booked on a show and the opener will be told look, you can’t be super dirty. There’s two reasons why comics don’t want comedians dirty up front. Because a comedian who is clean wants the whole show to be clean. A comedian that’s dirty, wants the whole impact of them being dirty and catching all the jokes that are dirty to them cause they’re the headliner. They don’t want an opener to go up and use a bunch of material that already has the crowd used to being dirty. They want the shock factor of doing that.

Kristina Montouri: Yeah you need to have that flow through the whole show

Captain Brien: Correct.

Kristina Montouri: Whatever vibe you wanna have for each show. Exactly. And I’m glad you brought that up too. So yeah, I think there is offensive and dirty humor and things that you can say in certain ways that do offend people for no reason. And then there are other things that you can say and joke about that kind of challenge people’s current beliefs, it makes them a little bit uncomfortable, but in a good way. You’re never really learnin anything until you’re kind of out of your comfort zone. So the comedians that I aspire to be like are the comedians that say something that you’re not exactly comfortable with in the moment but then you think hey, they had a point.

Captain Brien: And who is that?

Kristina Montouri: I might learn something.

Captain Brien: Who do you like the most?

Kristina Montouri: Anthony Jeselnik.

Captain Brien: Oh, he’s a buddy of mine, he’s great.

Kristina Montouri: If you are offended by what he’s saying it’s probably because it’s a little meta for you. He’s actually not racist, sexist, any of those things. He’s saying things ironically, it’s very intelligent humor.

Kristina Montouri: So that’s what I try to do.

Captain Brien: Out of all the comedians that are touring right now, he’s pretty much the only one that can get away with that.

Kristina Montouri: Oh yeah. Yeah he’s great. And then Nikki Glaser does sexual humor in a very intelligent way also.

Captain Brien: Yup, Nikki’s great. The first time I had Nikki, she opened for Amy Schumer. That was a hell of a show.

Kristina Montouri: I just read Amy Scumer’s book and that was a great book.

Captain Brien: I have not. And I won’t cause I don’t read a lot.

Kristina Montouri: She’s a very interesting person.

Captain Brien: I just don’t.

Kristina Montouri: I listen to audio books, honestly.

Captain Brien: I really don’t.

Kristina Montouri: I listen to audio books more than anything. But back to the sexual humor. I don’t tell dirty jokes, I tell sexual jokes, because sex is not dirty. It’s a human thing, and I think keeping something in the dark and hiding it actually is kind of dangerous. Kids are going to figure it out whether you like it or not, so you can either be open about it and admit that it’s a normal human thing, or you can let them navigate through Pornhub and figure it out themselves. And it’s probably not gonna be the right thing.

Captain Brien: Right. They’re gonna venture across something that probably isn’t a traditional technique.

Kristina Montouri: Yeah. When I was a kid I was sheltered, so this is kinda coming from a personal past. My parents did not speak of sex at all. It was just you did not talk about it. Which of course, what are you gonna do when you can’t talk about something? You’re gonna be very interested in it.

Captain Brien: You’re gonna be interested.

Kristina Montouri: Oh my gosh.

Captain Brien: So you’re very sexually active. Ladies and gentlemen, she’s extremely horny on the Captain’s Log, we appreciate that, and she’s gonna be on stage, you can come see her March 2nd. Don’t miss her. No, I’m just kidding.

Kristina Montouri: I am 30, that means hormonally I’m basically a 17-year-old boy.

Captain Brien: Does that work that way?

Kristina Montouri: My doctor says.

Captain Brien: They all say that, but does it really kick in at 30?

Kristina Montouri: Well I’m also recently divorced so it could just be like party time.

Captain Brien: You’re on the party train.

Kristina Montouri: Yeah, I’m on the no pun intended. Or was it?

Captain Brien: That’s funny. So 30 is the magic number or what or was it gradual? Or was it the divorce and it went right to the moon?

Kristina Montouri: It was probably more the divorce. It was just like I don’t know –

Captain Brien: How long were you married?

Kristina Montouri: I was married for eight years.

Captain Brien: Eight years.

Kristina Montouri: Yeah, I got married young.

Captain Brien: Really?

Kristina Montouri: I got married at 22.

Captain Brien: Wow.

Kristina Montouri: Because my family was very you gotta save it for marriage, you gotta save it for marriage. And there were a couple times where I didn’t save it for marriage. But overall –

Captain Brien: Throughout the marriage?

Kristina Montouri: What do you mean throughout the marriage? Overall –

Captain Brien: You didn’t save it for just for him while you were married?

Kristina Montouri: No, no, no, no, no.

Kristina Montouri: I can’t understand why you’re not married any more. I meant before, before, before.

Captain Brien: Oh, okay, okay I was confused. Sorry, sorry, I was confused.

Kristina Montouri: When you’re younger, you wanna do what your family thinks is the right thing so I went to Catholic school, and they were like Jesus doesn’t want you to have sex unless it’s in the butt and that’s the loophole.

Captain Brien: So you got married at 22 but you were sexually active at what age?

Kristina Montouri: Oh, 19. But it was only those couple of times.

Captain Brien: Was it with the same guy or no?

Kristina Montouri: Yeah.

Captain Brien: Really?

Kristina Montouri: So you married your not high school sweetheart, but close to it? Oh yeah.

Captain Brien: So yeah. So that’s another reason why I think people need to relax a little bit. I married a great guy. Stand up guy, I highly recommend him to anyone who’s looking for a husband

Captain Brien: Did you get half his shit?

Kristina Montouri: No.

Captain Brien: What do you mean no? How does that happen?

Kristina Montouri: I know, my lawyer said I was stupid.

Captain Brien: How do I do that?

Kristina Montouri: Here’s the thing, we both had our own shit because –

Captain Brien: Okay, so you came carrying groceries, and you guys both left with goodie bags.

Kristina Montouri: We both left with our own goodie bags.

Captain Brien: Okay, okay.

Kristina Montouri: Yes, we both were fine. I could’ve gotten alimony and all that other stuff but I just thought that was bullshit, you know?

Captain Brien: Because you didn’t work through your marriage?

Kristina Montouri: I did.

Captain Brien: So how are you gonna still?

Kristina Montouri: At the time, I had just quit my job. I had just decided to change my life completely. I quit my job as a weatherwoman.

Captain Brien: Cause you don’t have any kids.

Kristina Montouri: No kids, no kids.

Captain Brien: Yeah, so you’re free.

Kristina Montouri: Very free.

Captain Brien: You’re not married, you’re free, you’re just humpin all around Florida right now.

Captain Brien: Anything you can do you’re just – she’s available guys, she’s available. Just hit her up and go ahead give your Instagram and your Facebook if you’d like for sure.

Kristina Montouri: Yeah my Instagram and Facebook both just my name, Kristina Montuori.

Captain Brien: You gotta spell Montuori, cause there’s no way I could spell it.

Kristina Montouri: M-O-N-T-U-O-R-I. And I’m tagged at the top of this post.

Captain Brien: Yeah exactly, yeah you could just follow her.

Kristina Montouri: So you can just click that and follow it, find it on Instagram, the whole thing. I just gotta be a real person, I don’t care what anyone thinks of me anymore, I’m good with myself, and you notice I don’t do the makeup thing anymore. Last time you saw me I was getting makeup on in the Uber with my hair out the window.

Captain Brien: Right, so now you’re au naturelle Kristina.

Kristina Montouri: Yeah, and you know what? I get way more attention without the makeup. I don’t know if guys are like I don’t know, she looks like she could be homeless, I should probably tak her home.

Captain Brien: Maybe they feel –

Kristina Montouri: She’s a mess, she’s a mess.

Captain Brien: Maybe you seem more achievable now.

Kristina Montouri: More achievable?

Captain Brien: That’s what it is. They’re like she doesn’t do herself all up, she seems down to Earth, I’m able to meet her now.

Kristina Montouri: I’ve been meeting a lot –

Captain Brien: Cause if you’re all done to the nines, the guy’s gonna be like damn, well I gotta freakin go and shower before I say hi out there.

Kristina Montouri: Yes. And you meet a different type of person. You meet the kind of people that are all about appearance, and I’ve gotta impress everyone, and I’m not really about that. I just got used to wearing makeup because it was part of my job, you know?

Captain Brien: What’s the best date?

Captain Brien: Your ultimate date.

Kristina Montouri: Best date?

Captain Brien: When a guy meets you, what do they need to do? Take you out, where?

Kristina Montouri: Oh man, the beach.

Captain Brien: The beach.

Captain Brien: Get that sunset.

Kristina Montouri: I’m a sucker for a sunset.

Captain Brien: You gonna wear a bikini?

Kristina Montouri: If it’s warm enough, yeah.

Captain Brien: She wears a bikini, guys. How can you say no?

Kristina Montouri: Who doesn’t?

Captain Brien: Is it a string bikini or is it like a onesie?

Kristina Montouri: Jesus Christ.

Captain Brien: Come on, they need to know. I’m here just dealing out the information.

Kristina Montouri: Here’s the thing, I do wear a two-piece, because it just makes sense because I have a very long torso. My chair is actually lower to the mat

Captain Brien: Yeah, you’re tall.

Kristina Montouri: Cause if I sit up I’m touching the ceiling right now and it’s my torso. I’m a great swimmer because of that, actually.

Captain Brien: That is true, because you are like –

Kristina Montouri: It’s all torso. Sitting down I’m very tall.

Captain Brien: You’re an inch shorter than me but you’re literally taller than me right now.

Kristina Montouri: Yeah, I’m actually kind of leaning so I can get in your shot.

Captain Brien: We should’ve traded torsos, I could’ve been taller. Damn it.

Kristina Montouri: I wish I had a –

Captain Brien: I got a short torso, maybe.

Kristina Montouri: That’s the way to be though. Everyone’s like oh she’s got legs for days. No one’s like look at that torso boo.

Captain Brien: Oh, is that what it is?

Kristina Montouri: No one cares about a torso.

Captain Brien: But then the stomach goes for days.

Kristina Montouri: It’s nice, cause I can gain a lot of weight and it kinda evens out, there’s not a belly there.

Kristina Montouri: It distributes it.

Captain Brieni: It’s distribution,

Kristina Montouri: More, more room to – and then you have the thick legs cause they’re short, right? So then if you’re ever not feeling confident, you just walk through a group.

Kristina Montouri: Don’t guys want thick girls these days?

Kristina Montouri: I don’t know what guys want.

Captain Brien: I don’t think you’re thick, you’re very thin.

Kristina Montouri: Everybody wants –

Captain Brien: But isn’t that a thing? It’s not for me. Not a big thick girl.

Kristina Montouri: No? It’s whatever you want, you know? And a lot of people are all about the whole a real woman’s got this or a real woman’s got that. I’m like, we’re all real, we’re all breathing and walking, just be a healthy person. It doesn’t really matter.

Captain Brien: And loving and caring and sincere and honest.

Kristina Montouri: Yes.

Captain Brien: What about all those?

Kristina Montouri: Those are good too, you know?

Captain Brien: At the beach in a bikini those go out the window, though.

Kristina Montouri: Then you could be a complete asshole as long as you look good. That’s the moral of the story.

Captain Brien: So the guy’s gotta take you to the beach, what else does he have to do?

Kristina Montouri: Gosh, you gotta open up.

Captain Brien: Gotta open up.

Kristina Montouri: Oh man, I love being real.

Captain Brien: The wallet or the mind?

Kristina Montouri: Mind. Actually I have a strict policy. I pay for my own things.

Captain Brien: You do?

Kristina Montouri: On especially a first date, yes. Because I don’t like people to have expectations. They think you owe them something cause they bought you dinner.

Captain Brien: Right, so you wanna make sure you’re in control.

Kristina Montouri: Yes. I like being in control.

Captain Brien: 2019 the ladies are in the driver’s seat.

Kristina Montouri: I hate being told what to do, I absolutely hate being told what to do, unless I’m naked.

Captain Brien: Wow.

Kristina Montouri: I’m a dom in the streets and a sub in the sheets.

Captain Brien: I got you, I got you. Okay, okay. You guys might wanna know that, there you go. You can DM her at any time.

Kristina Montouri: Please don’t. I don’t answer my DMs.

Captain Brien: I know, for real. How many you must have

Kristina Montouri: You can follow and you can comment.

Captain Brien: That’s right.

Kristina Montouri: I’ll hit you up in the comments but –

Captain Brien: Yeah, you could be a fan, and you could buy tickets to the show, right? Off the Hook Comedy club March 2nd.

Kristina Montouri: March 2nd and since it’s sexual it’s a later show, right?

Captain Brien: It’s a 10:30 show at Richie La La, I think Eric Myers is on that show, you’re on the show, probably Carl and Stacey might be on that show.

Kristina Montouri: Hell yeah.

Captain Brien: It’s gonna be a great show and a big line up. So everyone gets to do about 15 minutes so that’ll be fun. Maybe 20.

Kristina Montouri: Sounds good. Maybe 20. Alright, I could do that. I’m pumped about that. That’s my problem.

Captain Brien: But thank you for doing my podcast today, this is the Captain’s Log, and you’re a fan, so now –

Kristina Montouri: I’m a huge fan.

Captain Brien: You’re gonna have to tell everyone that you did the show, it’s amazing.

Kristina Montouri: I will definitely do it. I will share it.

Captain Brien: The same show that Kevin Hart did. You did it. Now you’re movin up on the ladder.

Kristina Montouri: Movin up in the world. So Kevin Hart was sittin right here?

Captain Brien: Kevin Hart was sittin actually –

Kristina Montouri: Where was his torso? Where was his torso at?

Captain Brien: He’s short as hell.

Kristina Montouri: I know. I love him.

Captain Brien: But actually we did a whole show during the day and I even did an interview on the stage with him back at the club. So yeah, but he had eight people in the car when we went to do radio. Cause I usually do it with comedians on the way to press. So our press day will include while I’m driving me talking to them because they can’t run away and say no. So it’s good, I have a captive audience.

Kristina Montouri: Have you had a favorite, or just a favorite type of interview?

Captain Brien: Man, I did one with Bert Kreischer and it literally melted the whole computer.

Captain Brien: For an hour and a half we just had what I thought was gold. I hit save, I was ready to freakin upload it, and my whole Imac literally just died. I lost all of the material.

Kristina Montouri: No.

Captain Brien: And he just told that story on Mike Calta’s show last week cause he was in town. He sold out the whole theater, Bert’s on fire. He’s so great. Everything he does is a party. So the podcast was just great. But I’ve had some amazing guests. Not only in comedy. We do a lot of different things, and a lot of it is me and it’s the Captain’s Log because it’s like my daily journeys. So I’ll do all different things. It’s not just – it could be entrepreneurial, it could be my health, my whatever. Personal issues or personal achievements, it could be – so it’s just a whole mix of stuff. So every day it’s kinda something different. I try to do it every day but I had launched my own vodka brand and I introduced a gin and a rum and a dark rum.

Kristina Montouri: What’s it called?

Captain Brien: Captain Brien’s.

Kristina Montouri: It’s called Captain Brien’s.

Captain Brien: Yes. So that’s keeping me super busy, which it’s actually cutting into my podcasting hours.

Kristina Montouri: Well now I can actually have a Captain and Coke that I enjoy

Captain Brien: You can have the Captain all the time.

Kristina Montouri: cause I’m not all about Capatin Morgan.

Kristina Montouri: This is the best news all day.

Captain Brien: I have dark rum and light rum.

Captain Brien: Alright Kristina, thank you so much.

Kristina Montouri: Thank you.

Captain Brien: I appreciate you being my guest today. Don’t miss her guys, at Off the Hook Comedy Club. We are out and I’m goin to Sarasota tomorrow so I’m gonna take you guys with me. Tune in, we’ll see ya live.


Episode 219 The Captain’s Log with Comedian Jon Rudnitsky and Captain Brien!



Comedian and SNL Star Jon Rudnitsky joins Captain Brien to discuss his beginning at the Montreal Comedy Festival, what it’s like being on SNL, and the two even discuss waxing male parts!

Siri can now help you listen to your favorite podcasts! Say things like “play The Captains Log” or “play my newest podcasts.” You can also ask Siri about the podcast that is currently playing and request to be subscribed! Just tell Siri “subscribe to this show!”

Watch Full Video —————>  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBkH0SaZb8k&t=211s

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!

Check Comedian Jon Rudnitsky out and show him some love at:

  • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jon.rudnitsky
  • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jonrudnitsky

PODCAST RECAP

Miss something on one of our episodes of the #naplescaptainslog? Don’t worry we got you covered! Here you will find a full transcript from this episode of the #naplescaptainslog!

Jon Rudnitsky: I’m hopeful.

Captain Brien: We’re live! It’s the Captain’s Log. Jon Rudnitsky. How ya doin’ buddy?

Jon Rudnitsky: Hey good.

Captain Brien:That was my hardest part of the whole day, sayin’ the name.

Jon Rudnitsky:: And getting the live stream to work here.

Captain Brien: Okay let’s do that before I drive away, we don’t want to drive away and then not have you on there.

Jon Rudnitsky: Let me get it live on my Facebook as well.

Captain Brien: So how was the flight, man?

Jon Rudnitsky: The flight was fantastic, I was asleep for most of it.

Captain Brien: Really?

Jon Rudnitsky: That was ideal. Is everything alright with the camera?

Captain Brien: Everything’s good. On that one I probably just ran out of batteries.

Jon Rudnitsky: Okay.

Captain Brien: But that’s okay, we like to stream live, I have that as a backup.

Jon Rudnitsky: Oh, perfect.

Captain Brien: And then we do it, you know? We’ll see where we’re at. The flight came in late though, yeah?

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah, I mean I’m comin’ from LA to get to, where are we? Basking?

Captain Brien: You’re in Bonita Springs we’re in Naples, Florida.

Jon Rudnitsky: Naples. And happy to be in Naples, I knew I was in Naples I was testing you ahhh.

Captain Brien: That was the thing, yeah, you were just

Jon Rudnitsky: It’s a second shirt. It’s a it’s a schlep to get from LA to here.

Captain Brien: There’s no direct flights.

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah, yeah.

Captain Brien: So how long did the flight take?

Jon Rudnitsky: Oh I don’t know it took on I left last week.

Captain Brien: You hated it?

Jon Rudnitsky: No, no I didn’t mind it its all good I’m used to traveling it’s part of my job here He’s not texting

Captain Brien: I’m not texting I’m sharing stuff.

Captain Brien: Checking the livestream. Who doesn’t have the Facebook app? That’s a phenomenon right there I like that

Jon Rudnitsky: I periodically delete the Instagram app just because I like to be less connected.

Captain Brien: Really?

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah just from my phone.

Captain Brien: Even in your industry.

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah when I’m promoting a show I post and then I like delete the app cause I’m like I don’t wanna be wasting time I don’t trust myself to not open it up and then I start going down a rabbit hole. Why am I lookin’ up my ex-girlfriend’s fiance

Captain Brien: You can do like uh it used to be like the Youtube

Jon Rudnitsky: Pictures from 2014 I’m like this this is sad, this is the middle of the day and I’ve been on the toilet for an hour and a half now

Captain Brien: Right. It used to be like the Youtube vortex but I think everyone’s like on the Instagram now I’ll just start watching that scrolling.

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah Facebook is for my mom. For my mom to uh, accidentally post things on her status.

Captain Brien: So what, what’s the deal what are you looking forward to here in Naples cause for me it’s the same scenario but I love when the comics come in they want to do different stuff

Jon Rudnitsky: I wanna go to the beach I wanna hang out it’s nice weather here I wanna eat good seafood and I’m looking forward to the shows.

Captain Brien: You wanna know a story? Kevin Hart came down with seven of his homies, they stayed in a penthouse on the Marco Island Beach at the Marriott and never once went outside.

Jon Rudnitsky: Really?

Captain Brien: Yeah they never went to the beach.

Jon Rudnitsky: Unbelievable!

Captain Brien: I would go to the beach every day.

Jon Rudnitsky: You got a penthouse its a different thing, I’m at the Hampton Inn so I’m itchin’ to get out and see the sun.

Captain Brien: They played video games all day.

Jon Rudnitsky: Amazing. That’s great if I had a penthouse you know, who knows I might do that, I’d probably be out on the beach, I’d be out at the beach you know, a mix of the video games was wow but if I had all my buddies he’s doin’ it right that guy, Kevin Hart.

Captain Brien: So tell me about Saturday Night Live, how’s that gig?

Jon Rudnitsky: That gig was wild you know

Captain Brien: How’d you get it first of all?

Jon Rudnitsky: I was at the Just for Laughs Comedy Festival in Montreal I seeing new faces. – Are you goin’ this year? I’m not going this year now no, are you goin’?

Captain Brien: I might go this year, yeah. I missed a couple of years in a row but I think I wanna get back this year.

Jon Rudnitsky: It’s a wild time.

Captain Brien: It’s fun.

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah and for those who don’t know it’s the biggest comedy festival in the world

Captain Brien: It is.

Jon Rudnitsky: And I’d done this Dirty Dancing bit for my audition

Captain Brien: Okay.

Jon Rudnitsky: It’s basically where I come out to the Dirty Dancing song I Had The Time of My Life I had an imaginary

Captain Brien: Do you like to dance?

Jon Rudnitsky: I do.

Captain Brien:  I saw your moves, I saw your moves on the uh, what’s the game, is that the game or or the scream that you did

Jon Rudnitsky: Oh Oh that was just uh a Donald Glover commercial, Google commercial that I think is really cool and so

Captain Brien: You were doin’ the moves you looked good

Jon Rudnitsky: I was stoned one night and just learned all the moves and then and then I posted it.

Captain Brien: Speaking of which, I hung out with Donald Glover at the Montreal Comedy Festival.

Jon Rudnitsky: Oh my God that’s so cool. There’s nobody more talented I think in the world.

Captain Brien:  He’s amazing.

Jon Rudnitsky: than Donald Glover.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah oh my God forget about it

Captain Brien:  That was a good time

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah he’s unreal, he’s unreal.

Captain Brien:  He literally did comedy and then grabbed the mic and rapped in the middle of the nightclub.

Jon Rudnitsky: That sounds about right.

Captain Brien: He like just…

Jon Rudnitsky: He’s the funniest guy

Captain Brien:  He literally just started rapping

Jon Rudnitsky: And the most talented oh my God

Captain Brien:  In the middle of the club.

Jon Rudnitsky: That’s amazing.

Captain Brien: I don’t think people knew how cool that was at the time cuz it was like

Jon Rudnitsky: Oh was this kinda before

Captain Brien: Like five years ago, six years ago.

Jon Rudnitsky: Wow.

Captain Brien: Maybe four or five years ago so he was just blowing up.

Jon Rudnitsky: He’ll win like an Academy Award in the next couple years, he’ll make a movie whatever he touches is just immediately is immediately gold. So anyway so I did this Dirty Dancing bit where I came out to the Dirty Dancing song and I danced with an imaginary Jennifer Gray I mime the whole thing until the lift, and then I drop her, and she’s she’s dead.

Captain Brien:  And this is your audition?

Jon Rudnitsky: This was my audition.

Captain Brien:  Did they ask for this or this is what you sent in?

Jon Rudnitsky: No actually weirdly enough it was this was not my audition for SNL this was just my audition for, hey good morning Crystal.

Captain Brien:  Hey Crystal.

Jon Rudnitsky: Uh, this was just my, uh audition for the festival.

Captain Brien: Okay.

Jon Rudnitsky: It was actually my callback and it wasn’t supposed to be my callback, I auditioned with the standup and then for my callback I was like I’m going to go out there and do this weird mime act uh and at least they’ll remember me. I probably won’t get to book it but we won’t get new faces cause it’s so competitive but at least they’ll remember me. And then I did it and instead of going out there and doing my jokes I just didn’t talk for five minutes, I did this whole thing where I dance with imaginary Jennifer Gray up until the lift then she, I drop her, she’s a goner, I’m tryin’ to revive her.

Captain Brien:  Did you have this all planned?

Jon Rudnitsky: It goes on and goes on.

Captain Brien:  Or was this Ad-Lib?

Jon Rudnitsky: No I had it all planned, I had it all worked out, and then I did it at Montreal and SNL scouts were there and they invited me to showcase in LA and then they invited me to screen test at 30 Rock in front of Lorne and the producers and what not and and like a month later I’m at a parking lot in Minnesota about to perform at a comedy club and I get a call from Lorne Michaels inviting me to join the cast so it definitely changed my life, that moment.

Captain Brien:  I was there um when Amy Schumer got the call for the Amy Schumer Show which is I mean, it’s mind blowing right? Like these are life changing events was it a life changing event for you?

Jon Rudnitsky: By a long shot.

Captain Brien:  It was right? I mean of course.

Jon Rudnitsky: It was the most exciting thing that still ever happened to me you know, I’ve had some exciting calls I mean, just finishing this Hulu show with George Clooney in Italy is pretty wild. But this was the first big call and SNL is like, the dream for me. Was always the dream.

Captain Brien: Were you sitting there waiting for it? It just happened right it wasn’t like you know like approximately or no?

Jon Rudnitsky: I had tested for it and was waiting to hear

Captain Brien: But you didn’t know when the call was coming it coulda come in two weeks or coulda came next day right?

Jon Rudnitsky: Right, yeah.

Captain Brien:  Or they coulda called and said dude it didn’t work.

Jon Rudnitsky: It didn’t work out.

Captain Brien:  Saw your face but not gonna happen.

Jon Rudnitsky: Those are long days waiting for that call, waiting to find out if you got Saturday Night Live, and then getting it I screamed I just went running and screaming, just yelling at the top of my lungs.

Captain Brien:  And in the first time you were on camera live, were you shitting your pants, I mean to say the least?

Jon Rudnitsky: You know, it’s one of those things you kind of shit in your pants after is how I, it’s kinda how I always talk about it.

Captain Brien: It’s like Holy Shit I did it?

Jon Rudnitsky: It’s like you just gotta be here while its happening, I can’t think, I can’t zoom out and think about what I’m doing because if I did I would be frozen, like I’m on SNL, I’m live in front of millions of people, Miley Cyrus is licking my face which is what happened in my first week.

Captain Brien:  Oh my God!

Jon Rudnitsky: I can’t be thinking about the fact that this is happening. Now I look back and I’m like oh my God.

Captain Brien: Did you like Miley?

Jon Rudnitsky: She was so cool.

Captain Brien:  Yeah she is.

Jon Rudnitsky: That was uh uh quite an experience to, way to get initiated.

Jon Rudnitsky: I agree.

Jon Rudnitsky: Into the show.

Captain Brien: : What brought the lick on? Just the handsomeness, she couldn’t

Jon Rudnitsky: I wish I could take credit for that, but no the premise of the sketch was like a Grease dance you know like a 50’s kind of vibe.

Captain Brien: Oh yeah, I saw that, I saw that.

Jon Rudnitsky: And uh I’m like, she’s the new girl in school look how cute she is you know. And then she’s like modern day Miley so she’s like licking a lollipop and rappin’ about takin’ Molly and I’m like, overwhelmed and don’t know how to deal with it then by the end she’s like, you know, licking my face.

Captain Brien: You won her over.

Jon Rudnitsky: Or she like freaked me out, and pulled me in, but yeah it was a very cool experience. And to be able to come up with an idea on Tuesday, and then on Saturday suddenly you’re in costume.

Captain Brien: How long does that take ya to run the ideas by everyone?

Jon Rudnitsky: Um you know its just one night is writing night.

Captain Brien:  You have a pitch night?

Jon Rudnitsky: Monday night is pitch night, Tuesday night is writing night, you know, and then uh, then Wednesday and Thursday then you know you’re rehearsing, and then Friday you’re uh gearing up, by Saturday it’s ready to go and that’s it. And then there’s a dress rehearsal and things are gettin’ cut all the way up until the show. You could you know have something on the show but it could get cut for time.

Captain Brien: Right.

Jon Rudnitsky: You know, right before, so it’s

Captain Brien: What’s the wildest thing someone pitched in the room when they were like, who the hell thought of that?

Jon Rudnitsky:: I can’t honestly, I don’t know, I can’t think of like a crazy pitch, it was always, it’s always real funny, funny stuff but nothing like crazy I feel like.

Captain Brien: What about ones they they turn down, that you were like, damn, they didn’t frickin’ want that?

Jon Rudnitsky: Um.

Captain Brien:  That sounds hysterical.

Jon Rudnitsky:: I’m tryin’, jeez, I’m tryin’ to remember.

Captain Brien: What about something you pitched that got frickin’ turned down?

Jon Rudnitsky: Oh my God, so many more often than not, way more often than not.

Captain Brien: Really?

Jon Rudnitsky: When I pitch things.

Captain Brien:  Was there like a pecking order, where like, there’re certain guys who always get through?

Jon Rudnitsky: Well, yeah, there are certainly people who’ve earned their stripes there, and you know, Kate McKinnon is always gonna be you know, prominent in the show. Kenan has been there 15 years so he’s gonna be used a lot and, yeah there’s definitely and I was the new guy, so I kinda got thrown into the deep end with weights around my ankles a bit.

Captain Brien:  Right.

Jon Rudnitsky: And, for me it’s like fighting to to get air time. You have to really you have to write yourself into stuff, cuz otherwise I’m just the waiter, you know, oh the President will see you now and that’s it, that’s all I’ll do the entire show, so. Um, for me I had to write my own stuff, and and then you’re doin’ that, you write that Tuesday night at six a.m. with no sleep I’m writin’ a character, new idea, then suddenly Wednesday’s at a table reading in front of the funniest people in the world and whichever movie star’s hosting that week, and yeah a lot of times it doesn’t go well. To bomb at that level there’s nothing quite like that. Yeah.

Captain Brien: Yeah. And even on stage if you’re bombing the lights you can’t see every person’s face the whole time, but maybe in that room might be a little intimidating huh?

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah, it’s one thing if you’re bombing you know, at a comedy club wherever in, in, the country and it’s another thing if you’re bombing in front of Tina Fey or whoever’s hosting that week, or whoever, Larry David’s there, you know. I had a good week the week Larry David was there, which was nice cuz he’s my comedic icon, but, yeah I had a couple of good weeks and then a lot of, lot of misses and that’s the thing, the highs are very high and the lows are very low at that show. And it moves at a very fast pace, a very fast pace.

Captain Brien:  I always wonder, what about goin’ back like, have you been to any high school or college reunions or anything, and they’re like, dude, you’re on freakin’ SNL now!

Jon Rudnitsky: It was pretty wild yeah, the whole thing was a real, cuz I moved out to LA to pursue all of it and my first job was back in the East Coast where I grew up so, for me, like I called all my best friends, I’m like comin’, I’m movin’ home also cuz I got SNL. So, actually in the intro of the show it’s me walkin’ down a street in Manhattan with my best friends and my brothers.

Captain Brien:  Cool.

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah, that was in the intro of the show. So yeah it was very cool and

Captain Brien: So when you were in high school, did you go to college?

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah I went to USC that’s what brought me out to LA.

Captain Brien: : And you studied?

Jon Rudnitsky: Theater.

Captain Brien: Theater, right? So in high school were you already into theater?

Jon Rudnitsky: Always wanted to perform this was always the thing.

Captain Brien:  Did you do high school plays?

Jon Rudnitsky: I did the musicals, yeah.

Captain Brien:  Yeah, I did some, I did.

Jon Rudnitsky: You did?

Captain Brien:  I did in some drama like productions in the town I did a few.

Jon Rudnitsky: Oh wow! You got some footage and that we can cut to?

Captain Brien:  I do, I have some break dancin’ clips too.

Jon Rudnitsky: Oh my God break dancing! Can you still do that?

Captain Brien:  A little bit, a little bit.

Jon Rudnitsky: Wow.

Captain Brien:  Yeah I was on a break dancing show when I was in high, when I was in middle school, yeah.

Jon Rudnitsky: Wow.

Captain Brien:  It was a local cable show but it was pretty fun though.

Jon Rudnitsky: Oh my God I would love to see this.

Captain Brien:  It was great, it was great.

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah. Baggy sweatpants?

Captain Brien:  Oh yeah, the zippers, parachute pants and that.

Jon Rudnitsky: Bust a move. I imagine.

Captain Brien:  Oh yeah that was great.

Jon Rudnitsky: That’s fantastic, yeah, you gotta be, you gotta be strong to pull off those moves.

Captain Brien: You do, you do. What about what about traveling now with the food, like you’re from New Jersey right?

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah, from Jersey.

Captain Brien:  So the food’s the best in Jersey, I always feel like Jersey, Chicago, Boston, New York, right?

Jon Rudnitsky: All good stuff, yeah.

Jon Rudnitsky: Amazing. Like LA says they got great food, they got great restaurants, other places but it’s a different deal. Like I, I’m down with like the New York, the Boston, Jersey like Mom and Pop places been there like 50 years and they make the best whatever right?

Captain Brien:  Yeah yeah yeah

Captain Brien: When you go out to like LA the food has to be like really trendy, you don’t have that background right?

Jon Rudnitsky: It’s true, it’s different. It’s a lot of health foods in LA, which is good, I like I feel good when I’m in LA because it’s actually hard to eat like shit there, you know

Captain Brien:  Cause everyone’s like oh my God you’re not vegan?

Jon Rudnitsky: You can’t find regular milk there.

Captain Brien: It’s almond?

Jon Rudnitsky: It’s almond, it’s oat, it’s hemp, the milk’s go on and on.

Captain Brien:  Really?

Jon Rudnitsky: You can’t keep up with the milks. But now since I left yesterday I’ve had Dunkin’ Donuts three times.

Captain Brien: Oh I love Dunkin’! We went there this morning, right?

Jon Rudnitsky: We did, we did.

Captain Brien: They’re not sponsoring the show by the way, if Dunkin’ would like to you need to call us.

Jon Rudnitsky: Hashtag Dunkin’ Donuts.

Captain Brien: So we just left 105.5 we did two stations already, Gator Country, right? – Yeah.

Captain Brien: That went well with Mel and Scott, just left 105.5 the Beat with the Freak Show and now we’re doin’ 103.9 at Beasley.

Jon Rudnitsky: We got another radio?

Captain Brien: We got two more.

Jon Rudnitsky: Two more? Oh my God, look at this I thought I was goin’ back to bed.

Captain Brien: No, we’re takin’ ya to, it’s quick though, it’s quick. One hour we’ll be done. With everything. We’ll be done in an hour.

Jon Rudnitsky: Perfect perfect. Yeah no I’m I’m gamin’ here oh my God.

Captain Brien: You had no choice to do the show, it wasn’t like you were gonna get from Ft Myers back to your hotel without drivin’ with me

Jon Rudnitsky: No, I wasn’t avoiding it, I was avoiding it, I thought I ordered an Uber I don’t know how I ended up in this situation. Right?

Captain Brien: You didn’t know it was gonna be so much fun and so many questions.

Jon Rudnitsky: This is a blast, this is great.

Captain Brien: How do you keep the beard, do you trim it or do you just let that grow in and shave it?

Jon Rudnistky: I trim the beard.

Captain Brien: You do?

Jon Rudnitsky: I trim it, yeah yeah yeah, but I’m happiest with facial hair. I don’t know how you feel but don’t you always feel like ya gotta have a little bit of scruff?

Captain Brien: I go with the scruff and then I shave.

Jon Rudnitsky: I see you shave this.

Captain Brien: The reason I don’t shave this is I get a lot of rash. Like sometimes it’s just uh it gets uncomfortable.

Jon Rudnitsky: I go with the electric trimmer.

Captain Brien: Yeah me too, the trim.

Jon Rudnitsky: I bought one for my face and one for everything else.

Captain Brien:One for your nuts.

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah you don’t want to use the same one but sometimes I forget I don’t have ’em labeled so it’s luck of the draw.

Captain Brien: And do you live with somebody?

Jon Rudnitsky: I do.

Captain Brien: And do you let them know this is the nuts one on the face one?

Jon Rudnitsky: She just stays clear of all.

Captain Brien: She does? I probably wouldn’t say anything. Oh I’d be like I used that one today, ha ha and I’d just laugh myself.

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah well I don’t think she, she’s got she’s not usin’ my razor blade, she’s got a….

Captain Brien: She’s straight Bic?

Jon Rudnitsky: She’s got a fancier situation goin’ on she’s not an animal like me.

Captain Brien: I wouldn’t do the wax though. Did you ever do the full wax?

Jon Rudnitsky: I’ve never, I’ve never done a full wax. I’ve thought about it.

Captain Brien: Really? I get scared just goin’ up.

Jon Rudnitsky: The the uh you know, the in between the area the landing.

Captain Brien: Here’s what bothers me with the wax. When I go to the counter and they’re like yeah, what can we do for you today? What what kind of wax would you like, and I’m like, my eyebrows, I’m even afraid to say my ears. Out loud. I’m like my eyebrows, and then when I get in there I’m like can you do my ears and my nose? I don’t wanna be up at the counter, be like, can you wax my taint, my nuts are very hairy right now.

Jon Rudnitsky: Oh my God.

Captain Brien: Like, it’s embarrassing.

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah, you’re not the first person to ask and you know it’s uh

Captain Brien: But there’s always other people waiting to like.

Jon Rudnitsky: You gotta go to a place that I guess uh

Captain Brien: I go to a high end place, it just drives me crazy.

Jon Rudnitsky: Specializes in in waxing of the male privates.

Captain Brien: In the bung bung.

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah, I think so. I think it would be painful, probably not worth it

Captain Brien: How would you know it’s a specialty?

Jon Rudnitsky: What’s that?

Captain Brien: How do you know it’s their specialty?

Jon Rudnitsky: I guess you gotta go on Yelp

Captain Brien: You’re gonna Yelp it? And see what their review is on Trip Advisor?

Jon Rudnitsky: You might be able to Uber Eats it maybe somebody comes to you and brings you a sandwich it’s all a package deal.

Captain Brien: Yeah, speaking of Uber, do you use Lyft or Uber all the time? I never use Lyft ever.

Jon Rudnitsky: I use Lyft actually.

Captain Brien: Really?

Jon Rudnitsky: Um there was a thing I mean there was thing back when Trump was with the, the, uh, Muslim Ban and Uber I forget honestly what was happening, but Uber was bad at the time, and I deleted the app and that was my, that was me like, making a stance. I deleted Uber and I just use Lyft, I never read down what it is.

Captain Brien: And is Lyft as accessible as Uber? Like it’s just as quick a boom, they’re there, all the time.

Jon Rudnitsky: Uh Yeah it’s great, used it last night. Lyft is everywhere and it was like five minutes here.

Captain Brien: No problem.

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah I was surprised, surprised the whole, uh

Captain Brien: And the cars, like I see sometimes I think sometimes they’re moonlighting with both now aren’t they? They can ride Lyft and Uber at the same time.

Jon Rudnitsky: Oh yeah they’re working all of it.

Captain Brien: They are, right?

Jon Rudnitsky: A Lyft driver is also an Uber driver.

Captain Brien: I gotcha, I gotcha.

Jon Rudnitsky: Hey who’s this? Patty, hi Patty!

Captain Brien: Patty what’s happening?

Jon Rudnitsky: Anthony’s watchin’ now.

Captain Brien: I think we had a little technical difficulty you know how it tells people you’re live? I don’t think it’s telling people because we didn’t get a big number but after it plays it will play huge, it will be on the podcast, on Itunes, Stitcher, Sound Cloud,

Jon Rudnitsky: Just right now.

Captain Brien: Youtube, Facebook.

Jon Rudnitsky: Are you just trying to make me feel better that there’s two people watching us?

Captain Brien: I think so, I think that’s what my plan is. I’m tryin’ to kind of gear you up for a big punch.

Jon Rudnitsky: If this is any indication of my ticket sales.

Captain Brien: I bet you ten thousand views by the time Sunday morning rolls around.

Jon Rudnitsky: I like that, okay.

Captain Brien: That’ll happen. That’s our

Jon Rudnitsky: Just in time for me to leave town.

Captain Brien: Yeah but at least they’ll know during that time they’ll be building up. Guys, this is the Captain’s Log don’t forget you gotta see Jon all weekend at Off the Hook Comedy Club. Hey man, I appreciate the talk.

Jon Rudnitsky: I appreciate it.

Captain Brien:: It was fun I learned a lot of stuff today it was interesting.

Jon Rudnitsky:: This is great, I know about the trimmer thing, the waxing.

Captain Brien: I think we did good.

Jon Rudnitsky: Mainly about kind of hygiene and grooming

Captain Brien: We got a lot accomplished.

Jon Rudnitsky: I didn’t expect it to be so focused

Captain Brien: We’re out guys we’re out.