Category Archives: Uncategorized

S2:E47 You Should Punch Up Your Jokes!



WWE Star turned Comedian, Dolph Ziggler, and Sarah Tiana join Captain Brien on this episode of the #naplescaptainslog! They discuss Dolphs career in the WWE and how he became a comedian!

Watch Full Video —————>  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPh4KXtoFbQ&t=1s

Siri can now help you listen to your favorite podcasts! Say things like “play The Captains Log” or “play my newest podcasts.” You can also ask Siri about the podcast that is currently playing and request to be subscribed! Just tell Siri “subscribe to this show!”

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #naplescaptainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free and Gluten Free Vodka, Sugar Free and Glutent Free Gin, and Barrel Aged Dark Rum and White Rum!

Check Comedians Dolph Ziggler and Sarah Tiana out and show them some love at:


Special Episode: Finance Friday!!



The tables have turned!! Captain Brien joins Amy Novakovich and Nova Wealth Management on their Finance Friday Podcast! Tune in to hear how Captain Brien became such a successful entrepreneur!

Watch Full Video —————> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XvSsqcgr-mo&feature=youtu.be

Siri can now help you listen to your favorite podcasts! Say things like “play The Captains Log” or “play my newest podcasts.” You can also ask Siri about the podcast that is currently playing and request to be subscribed! Just tell Siri “subscribe to this show!”

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!

Check Amy Novakovich out and show her some love at:


S2:E16 The Captain’s Log with Comedian Pat Godwin and Captain Brien!



Comedian Pat Godwin joins the Captain as he sings us some hilarious tunes about Jimmy Buffet retirement communities and Off The Hook Comedy Club. They also discuss how Pat Godwin got his beginning as a comedian!

Tune into hear these hilarious songs!

Siri can now help you listen to your favorite podcasts! Say things like “play The Captains Log” or “play my newest podcasts.” You can also ask Siri about the podcast that is currently playing and request to be subscribed! Just tell Siri “subscribe to this show!”

Watch Full Video —————> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8f5UtZeXOlg

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!

Check Comedian Pat Godwin out and show him some love at:

  • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PatGodwin
  • Twitter: https://twitter.com/PatGodwin
  • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pat_godwin/
  • Website: http://www.patgodwin.com/

PODCAST RECAP

Miss something on one of our episodes of the #naplescaptainslog? Don’t worry we got you covered! Here you will find a full transcript from this episode of the #naplescaptainslog!

Pat Godwin:  ♪ Off the Hook, ♪ ♪ Brien and his dad are pretty good cooks, at Off The Hook. ♪ ♪ Oh, Off The Hook Comedy Club ♪ ♪ gonna be there all week, til Friday, havin’ fun. ♪ ♪ Naples, Florida come on down, ♪ ♪ fly down, drive over, swim over, Off the Hook. ♪ ♪ It’s off the chain, Off the Hook. ♪ ♪ ‘Cause there’s a lot of fishing going on, ♪ ♪ that’s why it’s called off the hook. ♪ We’re gonna have fun, right?

Captain Brien:  We are gonna have a good time man, we’re live. This is the Captain’s Log, comedian Pat Godwin. First time anyone’s jammed on the guitar on the captain’s log, buddy.

Pat Godwin: Right? It’s fun.

Captain Brien:  It really is, it’s a good time, and I’m gonna just share this now on your page so people see you. And you’re gonna be live. This is the first time you did that!

Pat Godwin: Yeah, that’s pretty cool.

Captain Brien: Thank you.

Pat Godwin: He’s, Brien is teaching me a lot of new things today.

Captain Brien: I’m gonna get you back into the–

Pat Godwin: I’m kind of old school.

Captain Brien: Into the new age, bro. Into the new age, we’re doin’ it. So we’re headin’ out. We just left 105.5 The Beat.

Pat Godwin: That was fun, those guys are great.

Captain Brien: I wanna hear… play me a tune.

Pat Godwin: You wanna hear the Buffet thing?

Captain Brien: Yeah, let’s hear the Buffet thing. We’re in Florida and it’s raining, so bring out the sun.

Pat Godwin: This is a perfect song for Florida, Jimmy Buffet started these retirement homes called Margaritaville, so this thing just kinda writes itself. ♪ Gettin’ a sponge bath, from one of the cute staff, ♪ ♪ all of us covered in lidocaine. ♪ ♪ Plugged in my CPAP, takin’ a long nap ♪ ♪ Brien, check out my leg, there’s a new spider vein. ♪

Captain Brien: We’re jammin’!

Pat Godwin: ♪ Spendin’ my golden years in ♪ ♪ Margaritaville Retirement Home. ♪ ♪ Searchin’ for my lost Epsom salt. ♪ Salt! Salt! Salt! ♪ Some people claim that it’s my memory to blame, ♪ ♪ But I don’t know. ♪ I, where was I? ♪ Fell off my scooter, chasin’ old Cooter ♪ ♪ Broke my hip, now it hurts to the bone. ♪ ♪ But there’s pills in the grinder ♪ ♪ And my nurse, I’ll remind her ♪ ♪ for that numbing concoction that helps me hang on. ♪ ♪ Hydrocodone, spendin’ my golden years in Margaritaville ♪ ♪ Retirement Home, searchin’ for my lost Epsom salts. ♪ Sing it! Salt! [Duo] – Salt, salt!

Pat Godwin: ♪ My family claims that it’s my, ♪ ♪ my family claims that it’s my, ♪ ♪ family claims that it’s my memory to blame, ♪ ♪ But I don’t know, I think I just pooped myself. ♪ Little bit of Margaritaville Retirement Home in the car, this is fun.

Captain Brien: That’s amazing. So, most people like to play the radio, me, I just bring the musicians

Pat Godwin: You hire a guy to come down.

Captain Brien: Yeah, keep em busy.

Pat Godwin: You fly em in the day before Hang out with me, just play music for me.

Captain Brien: I don’t wanna just drive around normally, you know, it’s boring.

Captain Brien: I like to put the whole concert in the car. So, tell me, this is, what, your second or third time we’ve had you down at the club?

Pat Godwin: Second time.

Captain Brien: Second time at the club.

Pat Godwin: Yeah, but we know each other because we worked together when you were involved with the improv up in Louisville.

Captain Brien: Yep, yep.

Pat Godwin: So you and I have known of each other for a while.

Captain Brien: That’s right, that’s right and you do the Bob and Tom show.

Pat Godwin: Yeah, I’m actually a member of the Bob and Tom show now, I got hired in January, so I get health insurance, and–

Captain Brien: I don’t have any health insurance for you, man. Good thing they do.

Pat Godwin: Right right? And we’re heard in like 150 markets, and they used to be down here in the Fort Myers area, and they’re gonna be soon, so maybe the next time I come down, we can really pack it out, so—

Captain Brien: Exciting, exciting.

Pat Godwin: But we’re having a really good time, it’s a great week. Valentine’s day is gonna be a lot of fun, cause I’m a very bitter guy on stage, in a funny way about–

Captain Brien: And you bring the love, though, you’re bringing the love.

Pat Godwin: I do, I love love. I’m very angry that I’m not with my wife anymore. That was a wonderful time. I mean, I am a huge fan of love.

Captain Brien: So–

Pat Godwin: And you too, you’re a huge fan of love.

Captain Brien: And you have some children.

Pat Godwin: I do, I have an eight-year-old, and I adopted my daughter, who’s now eighteen, and you’ve been going through some kind of, You’ve been doing a little bit of–

Captain Brien: Yeah, yeah, I did, I went through the divorce thing.

Pat Godwin: You know what defines the relationship? What was your wedding song? Because you were on the cruise ship.

Captain Brien: God, maybe that’s why I divorced, I can’t even remember.

Pat Godwin: My wedding song was “Highway to Hell” by ACDC.

Captain Brien: Oh, and there you go, so yeah.

Pat Godwin: No, my wedding song was actually Eric Clapton’s “Wonderful Tonight.” Do you remember yours?

Captain Brien: I don’t, I’m legitimately telling you, I cannot remember.

Pat Godwin: I’ll do a piece of my wedding song for you.

Captain Brien:- Okay, let’s hear it.

Pat Godwin: Now, Eric Clapton wrote this song, it’s a beautiful song, melodically. Lyrically, it’s a lie, it starts off fine, should have been changed. Here’s how it should’ve gone. ♪ It’s late in the evening, just wonderin’ ♪ ♪ what clothes to wear, just wonderin’ what clothes to wear ♪ ♪ She puts on her makeup, brushes her long blonde hair. ♪ ♪ And then she asks me, “Do I look alright?” ♪ ♪ And I said, “Hurry up!” ♪

Captain Brien: Yeah, you can’t!

Pat Godwin: ♪ You look fine, we’re supposed to be there at nine. ♪ We’re gonna have the guitar all week on stage, too, so you come by, it’ll be a very interactive show. I talk to you a little bit, don’t be nervous, no harm will come to you. It’s not like a heckle kind of a goofy thing. We have a really good time. We’re a very interactive show, and your club is phenomenal ’cause they’ve got low ceilings, it’s a very warm environment.

Captain Brien: So, when–

Pat Godwin: I’m looking forward to it.

Captain Brien: When she is late,

Pat Godwin: Yes sir?

Captain Brien: aren’t you supposed to say hurry up?

Pat Godwin: Yeah.

Captain Brien: Yeah, you are, right?

Pat Godwin: Absolutely

Captain Brien: I think that’s normal, I think it’s like, come on, we gotta go!

Pat Godwin: We gotta go, we have places to be.

Captain Brien: You wonder why we’re both…

Pat Godwin:- Does this dress make my butt look big? No, your butt makes your butt look big! Get in the car!

Captain Brien: That’s not the right answer either. I don’t have the right answers.

Pat Godwin: No, that’s not the right answer, obviously. Sittin’ here divorced. I’ve been divorced twice.

Captain Brien: Same.

Pat Godwin: Four years is my record, beating my old record of eight months back in 1996. I wish that was a joke, absolute truth.

Captain Brien: And you’re from where, originally?

Pat Godwin: Philadelphia area.

Captain Brien: Oh, Philly?

Pat Godwin: Yeah, I did music there for 10 years, had a couple albums out, and then the comedian Todd Glass got me involved in my first open mic.

Captain Brien: I know Todd, yeah.

Pat Godwin: My first open mic Todd Glass drug me to the, he didn’t drug me, he got me in the car,

Captain Brien: He dragged you.

Pat Godwin: He dragged me.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Pat Godwin: And, boom, it opened up all these doors.

Captain Brien: And how did you know that you wanted to be a comic at the time?

Pat Godwin: You know, even when I was a kid, I always wanted to be a comic. I just thought, I was just too afraid of it. So I started to play music, and that really took off, and I had a couple albums out, like I’d said, but I really wanted to be a comedian. I was funny offstage, but man, being funny on stage is a whole different animal.

Captain Brien: Right, and the guitar helps you.

Pat Godwin: Absolutely helps me.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Pat Godwin: ‘Cause that’s how I express myself. I’d be lost without it. I’m able to talk with it better, I’m comfortable, I’m actually a really shy guy without it, and I can talk, I don’t mumble, but I’m extraordinarily shy. When I put this on, everything changes.

Captain Brien: I noticed that, and a lot of comedians have kind of something that turns it on the whole time.

Pat Godwin: Yeah.

Captain Brien: Sometimes when the guys are funny nonstop–

Pat Godwin: That’s the ones you have to worry about.

Captain Brien: Yeah, I was gonna say, it gets a little off sometimes.

Pat Godwin: It’s really annoying.

Captain Brien:- Yeah. But I still enjoy it, I do really enjoy it. I appreciate you taking the ride with me, it wasn’t like you had a choice. We’re going to radio now on 103.9

Pat Godwin: I was in the trunk earlier.

Captain Brien: We’re headin’ to 103.9, Big Mama, we just left 105.5 The Beat with the Freakshow, we’re gonna see Jeff Zito on 96K-Rock.

Pat Godwin: Oh, cool.

Captain Brien: And then tomorrow, may hit gater country in the morning.

Pat Godwin: Absolutely.

Captain Brien: So that’ll be exciting. But if you are really wantin’ to get out and laugh and you don’t have any plans for Valentine’s Day, Pat’s show is phenomenal. I think I saw you probably three shows in a row on Carnival. Was I on the Allure, was that?

Pat Godwin: You were on the Oasis of the Allure.

Captain Brien: The Oasis. I saw you and my family’s like, “Why have we not brought Pat back?” And I said, “You know what? We need to bring him back.” And that was like, inspired

Pat Godwin: You saw like three shows in a row?

Captain Brien: I think I saw like three shows.

Pat Godwin: Oh, wow.

Captain Brien: Because the kids wanted to go see the shows, and they kept wanting

Pat Godwin: It was so fun.

Captain Brien: To go see, and it was a great, I mean the way you were able to interact with the crowd for all ages was phenomenal.

Pat Godwin: Yeah, that’s a tricky thing to do. You have to be, and that took having children to learn that kind of rapport. I know what makes my son laugh, and also you have to be very clean in that environment.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Pat Godwin: So, and my son goes either way. But yeah, I learned how to do it by having children. So, I’m very lucky.

Captain Brien: Well we appreciated the show, and then that’s what sparked me to bring you back, ‘Cause I was like, “We need to have Pat. He’s funny as hell, why have I not had him on the show in a while?”

Pat Godwin: Yeah, my crowd work is very natural and organic, there’s nothing really planned about it. I just have been doing it long enough where I really enjoy it. And when an audience can bring the show to a different level, where they know it’s coming right out of your butt, it’s coming right off the top of your head, they just explode with laughter. It’s my favorite laughter, is the spontaneous laughter.

Captain Brien: Well I’m gonna put you on the spot again. Do you have another song you wanna play? I’m enjoying it.

Pat Godwin: Sure, what should we do? I’m just trying to think

Captain Brien: Make it happen, baby.

Pat Godwin: Bring it. Trying to think if I should go racy.

Captain Brien: Oh, you can go, this is live, you can do whatever you want.

Pat Godwin: Oh, okay. We’re gonna go a little racy. This is called “My Old-Timey Guy.” ♪ Way back when I was 22 ♪ ♪ everybody had hair down there. ♪ ♪ The girls in Playboy Magazine all had pubic hair. ♪ ♪ I liked to take a lady to lunch ♪ ♪ if there’s a little carpet to munch ♪ ♪ But nobody has pubes, anymore! ♪ Is that too far?

Captain Brien: No that’s good, that’s great.

Pat Godwin: Second verse, here we go.

Captain Brien: Shave ’em off. Get rid of them.

Pat Godwin: ♪ Went down to my local gym and all the guys ♪ ♪ there are hair free. ♪ ♪ I’m feeling self-conscious ♪ ♪ ’cause, Brien, downstairs, I’m Duck Dynasty. ♪ ♪ Shaved my pubes, had a heart attack, ♪ ♪ looks like a baby carrot playing hacky sack, ♪ ♪ aw, nobody has pubes anymore. ♪ Boom.

Captain Brien: Get rid of the pubes, done.

Pat Godwin: Get rid of ’em.

Captain Brien: It makes you look bigger, it’s good. It’s impressive. I have a doctor on the show every Tuesday, and he says, clean it, shave it up.

Pat Godwin: Shave it up.

Captain Brien: Yeah, make it look clean, yeah.

Pat Godwin: And I agree with him.

Captain Brien: I never got that memo, my brother said the same thing to me. “You’re single now, you need to do a little bit of trimming where”–

Pat Godwin: Yeah, a little manscape.

Captain Brien: A little manscape.

Captain Brien: Clean it up, clean it up. Go down, clean it up. Oh, “hey Paul, what’s goin’ on?”, Allen, what’s happenin’? We’re in Naples, Florida And I got comedian, Pat Godwin.

Pat Godwin: Hey, everybody.

Captain Brien: Okay, so, um, let’s do a giveaway, guys? 10 people, right now, if you want to go see the show tonight. It’s a 7:00 show. Pat Godwin. Use the promo code at OffTheHookComedy.com PG2019, Pat Godwin, PG2019, go on the website, OffTheHookComedy.com. I’m gonna give you 10 free tickets right now. The first 10 people that do it are winners. How can you say, how can you say no to that?

Pat Godwin: You can’t.

Captain Brien: You can’t, the guy’s gonna make you laugh, it’s free.

Pat Godwin: Absolutely.

Captain Brien: Here in Naples.

Pat Godwin: The whole time I’m on stage, I have a great time.

Captain Brien: You really do.

Pat Godwin: I really love what I do.

Captain Brien: You traveled all night, how’d that go last night?

Pat Godwin: It did not go well.

Pat Godwin: I fought with the ex on the way down texting, we have an issue back home.

Captain Brien: Oh, I want to do a show, The text-es from my exes.

Pat Godwin: Oh, you know?

Captain Brien: I think we should.

Pat Godwin: My ex, if I could just take a little bit of time here, she is younger than I am so she encouraged me to do what’s called the kids do the sex thing, you know?

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Pat Godwin: And I was very uncomfortable with it. And if you have an iPhone it’s very easy to text the wrong person.

Captain Brien: Right.

Pat Godwin: The first time I try it, I accidentally sent the text, “I love the way your nipples taste,” To my mom, and my mom texted back, “You have a great memory.” That’s in the show.

Captain Brien: I love that, I love that.

Pat Godwin: That’s from the act, that’s from the act.

Captain Brien: You had me though, on that.

Pat Godwin: Did I have you?

Captain Brien: Yeah, yeah, I was going along with it. That’s great.

Pat Godwin: The dude is doing his act in the car.

Captain Brien: No, that’s exciting, that’s exciting. We bring out the best in people in the Captain’s Log. It’s 13 years running now. So this is 13 years to get through Season One. And Season Two has gone off strong-

Pat Godwin: You know, I’m a big fan of your actual the Facebook live stuff. You don’t just do comedians, you’re like, you’re doing everything.

Captain Brien: I try to do everything, I try to trick people.

Pat Godwin: It’s very, very, very cool.

Captain Brien: Because then they get to watch me all the time.

Pat Godwin: I have to say that you are the best one at it.

Captain Brien: Oh, really, you like it?

Pat Godwin: Absolutely, I love it.

Captain Brien: Aw, thanks, man.

Pat Godwin: I’m not just saying that.

Captain Brien: This guy really is funny and lovable. How can you not like him?

Pat Godwin: It’d be nice if he was on time.

Captain Brien: Yeah, he’s late as shit, but you know what?

Pat Godwin: I had to wake his ass up at the hotel.

Captain Brien: We still love him.

Pat Godwin: I got in at 2:30 last night, everybody.

Captain Brien: It was the rain, they say the rain is very mellowing, right? It makes us sleep.

Pat Godwin: I walked into that beautiful Hampton Inn and I laid on my back, and boom, the phone rang. Brien’s down here, you idiot.

Captain Brien: Is that what it felt like?

Pat Godwin: I swear to god I laid, I don’t sleep well at all. Last night, boom.

Captain Brien: Out.

Pat Godwin: Out like a light.

Captain Brien: It was, and when I woke up, and I had no clue it was down pouring.

Pat Godwin: Right.

Captain Brien: And then I walked out the house this morning. It was pitch black.

Pat Godwin: Right.

Captain Brien: Because you know, I was early, I was on time.

Captain Brien:- So, I left the house, it was pitch black, and I had to go back in and look for an umbrella of which I didn’t have.

Pat Godwin: Right.

Captain Brien:- Even though I have like 20 of them somewhere, then I just made a run for it. I just said, to hell with it, I’m going.

Pat Godwin: And now we’re looking like we’re clearing up here in a little bit.

Captain Brien: Yeah, I think so. I think it’s gonna be nice.

Pat Godwin: It’s overcast but it looks nice.

Captain Brien: It’s really warm actually for a–

Pat Godwin: You can’t complain in Florida. I left, it was -5 in Indianapolis, so.

Captain Brien: Was it really?

Pat Godwin: You guys have–

Captain Brien: No, it was -5?

Pat Godwin: Yep, when I left, yeah, it’s horrible.

Captain Brien: Oh my god.

Pat Godwin: And really windy, too, really windy.

Captain Brien: And what did you have like, for clothing on?

Pat Godwin: Oh, I had like my–

Captain Brien: I don’t even have clothing for that stuff.

Pat Godwin: I got to Florida in my big winter jacket. So, I was sweating my butt off when I first got here.

Captain Brien: And then you get here and you’re like, whoo. Yesterday, it was like 84 degrees.

Pat Godwin: Really?

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Pat Godwin: Jesus.

Captain Brien: Really nice.

Pat Godwin: I was in North Carolina where it was 80 degrees. They broke a record, and the following day, it was 17.

Captain Brien: Wow.

Pat Godwin: When I left on last Sunday, yeah.

Captain Brien: This week?

Pat Godwin: This, last week, yeah.

Captain Brien: And everybody’s sick now.

Pat Godwin: Everybody’s sick now.

Captain Brien: That’s just–

Pat Godwin: Everybody I work with is sick. They’ve got pink eye, they’ve all got pneumonia, not me.

Captain Brien: And you’re on the show how often on Bob and Tom?

Pat Godwin: Two, three days a week, for the whole time. 6:00 to 10:00, yeah.

Captain Brien: And then you–

Pat Godwin: I have an office there, I write songs that we use on the show all the time when I’m not there. I travel with like a mini recording studio. I’m really, and they were down here in your area in Naples for the longest time and doing very well. And they’re gonna be back. It’s a wonderful show. You can still see it on the App.

Captain Brien: Yeah, no, they do good, I’m a fan.

Pat Godwin: Yeah they do it, I know you are, yeah.

Captain Brien: Always a fan, I love it, I love it.

Pat Godwin: Yeah, the App that they have, The Bob and Tom App is incredible. You should download it.

Captain Brien: Really?

Pat Godwin: Yeah, it’s really good, yeah.

Captain Brien: And it’s just, that’s where you can hear the show live all the time?

Pat Godwin: Hear the show live, and then hear the repeat in the afternoon and then hear the greatest hits.

Captain Brien: Oh, that’s cool.

Pat Godwin: 24/7, yes.

Captain Brien: So, they don’t do like an iHeart radio. They do their own.

Pat Godwin: They do their own.

Captain Brien: Why, you should get your own.

Pat Godwin: Do you have your own?

Captain Brien: No, I used to. But you know what the problem with it, is that I was too busy promoting everything.

Pat Godwin: Oh, right.

Captain Brien: It was like, okay, go to my app. Go to my Twitter, follow me on Instagram. Watch my Facebook, and I was like, I think if I get rid of one of them, it’s gonna be a little easier.

Pat Godwin: True.

Captain Brien: So, I kind of let the app fall off and then I just stopped promoting it and doing everything with it. Because it was, it’s easier just to send them to a few places, like between the website and all that.

Pat Godwin: Yeah, you’ve got a lot going on.

Captain Brien: Yeah, yeah, you have to just focus on a few things, because otherwise the people are like, “I’m not going everywhere. Like, I’ve got enough, you know?”

Pat Godwin: Right, right, right.

Captain Brien: So that’s what happens, but thank you for watching anyways guys. We do appreciate it. Give us a like or share or whatever but you can’t miss Pat Godwin at Off the Hook Comedy Club all week. We’re gonna, check out or YouTube, too because we’ve post some other videos of Pat live at the radio stations and of course some show clips, some behind the scene stuff. But it’s been a good time. Pat, thanks buddy, we’re gonna, we’re gonna–

Pat Godwin: We’re gonna have a good time.

Captain Brien: We’re gonna do this all weekend, but Happy Valentine’s Day to everybody. And don’t forget–

Pat Godwin: For those of you who have dates, I don’t have a date. Come on by if you wanna date me.

Captain Brien: Yeah, Pat needs a date guys, so don’t stand him up.

Pat Godwin: You’ve gotta come by.

Captain Brien: He’s gonna be really upset if he’s lonely on Valentine’s Day.

Captain Brien: So, don’t do that to him. but anyway, use the promo code PG2019, free tickets, 10 people. After that I’m done, I’m not giving away ticket anymore, stop texting me and calling me.

Pat Godwin: He’s tryna make money.

Captain Brien: Yeah, everybody’s gotta eat tonight. My family’s gotta eat.

Pat Godwin: He’s got kids, he’s got two kids.

Captain Brien: We out, we out.


S2:E4 The Captain’s Log with Eric Myers and Captain Brien!!



Comedian Eric Myers joins us as we talk about Eric’s Uber driver job and code brown at Walmart😂!

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!

Check Erik Myers out and show him some love at:

PODCAST RECAP

Miss something on one of our episodes of the #naplescaptainslog? Don’t worry we got you covered! Here you will find a full transcript from this episode of the #naplescaptainslog!

Captain Brien: We’re back on the Captain’s Log. Erik Myers, what’s up buddy?

Erik Myers: What’s up peanuts?

Captain Brien: What are you doing?

Erik Myers: I’m sittin’ here havin’ a good time.

Captain Brien: I’m gonna put on my shades cause you’re too cool.

Erik Myers: I don’t know about that. I am pretty cool. I got my new leather jacket from Forever Twenty Ones, 39.99.

Captain Brien: That’s our new intern right there

Erik Myers: Who?

Captain Brien: Right there, Kendall.

Erik Myers: Hi, Kendall.

Kendall: Hi Erik.

Erik Myers: Kendall’s a rapper and she’s gonna rap for us.

Erik Myers: Go Kendall.

Captain Brien: I did hear her telling us how talented of a rapper she was.

Erik Myers: She said she was the next Biggie Smalls. That’s exactly to quote.

Captain Brien: So we just finished 105.5, The Beat.

Erik Myers: We did finish it.

Captain Brien: And, Erik, you’re performing at Off the Hook Comedy Club, tonight.

Erik Myers: No.

Captain Brien: Wednesday, yes.

Erik Myers: What?

Captain Brien: Yes.

Erik Myers: What? No.

Captain Brien: Seven o’clock show.

Erik Myers: No, I canceled that.

Captain Brien: And I’m gonna give you

Erik Myers: I have a hair appointment. I’m washing my hair. Look at it.

Captain Brien: Giving away free tickets now. Stop, you’re interrupting. It’s my god damn show.

Erik Myers: You shut up!

Captain Brien: Erik Myers tonight at 7:00.

Erik Myers: 7:00.

Captain Brien: Off the Hook Comedy Club. E-M-F, Erik Myers Free. E-M-F at offthehookcomedy.com. Use that promo code and you can get free tickets.

Erik Myers: Free.

Captain Brien: To see Erik tonight. The first 20 people, after that you gotta pay.

Erik Myers: 20 of you are lucky. The rest a you is screwed.

Captain Brien: Yes.

Erik Myers: You have to big money to see me.

Captain Brien: I’m just gonna make my way up here because if I sit here to long that’s right when the sun is right in my face.

Erik Myers: Brien I’m practically blind I don’t even have sunglasses. You and Kendall have sunglasses and I got nothing. I’m gonna put my little visor down.

Captain Brien: Look at this visor down.

Erik Myers: It didn’t do nothin’.

Captain Brien: Well your face is really small it’s like little.

Erik Myers: I gotta little tiny peanut face. Brien why do 20 people get to see me for free tonight at seven Off the Hook Comedy Club.

Captain Brien: Offthehookcomedy.com

Erik Myers: Offthehookcomedy.com thank you, code E-M-F.

Captain Brien: It’s a good thing you’re not my promo guy. My hype man.

Erik Myers: I am your hype man. E-M-F E-M-F. Promo code, seven o’clock!

Captain Brien: Hey Vicki hey Randy what’s goin’ on guys? We’re live on the Caption’s Log and today is Wednesday. This is season two, season one took 13 years to complete.

Erik Myers: I can’t believe you haven’t been canceled yet. What are the ratings of this shit?

Captain Brien: But anyway go, when you’re on the damn podcast I know you guys are, you can like it and share it, and also give us a rating on iTunes or Stitch or Sound Cloud wherever you’re watching from. Or if you’re watching on Facebook just say hello when you tune in. Tell us what city you’re watching from. ‘Cause I wanna know where you guys are today and–

Erik Myers: When wanna know where you are.

Captain Brien: And not to rub it in but it is 70 degrees sunny and we’re in Fort Myers and it’s beautiful and I’m sure where you guys are watching it’s either here or somewhere where it’s cold as hell. So tell us where that is right.

Erik Myers: It’s cold everywhere else probably.

Captain Brien: Kendall this is your first appearance on the Captain’s Log, how do you feel?

Kendall: Very honored.

Captain Brien: You are right?

Kendall: Super nervous.

Captain Brien: Oh my God it’s so scary.

Kendall: Okay very scary.

Erik Myers: Oh it’s Kobe.

Captain Brien: So Erik what’s the plan while you’re in town buddy?

Erik Myers: Brien I’m gonna do a bunch a heroin and go to Walmart.

Captain Brien: Excellent thank you, I appreciate the–

Erik Myers: They can’t ban me forever.

Captain Brien: This is a family show so that’s good.

Erik Myers: What, I bring my family.

Captain Brien: Yeah you do.

Erik Myers: Yeah I bring them to the Walmart and we all shoplift it’s a group effort. I got 100 pairs of socks last time.

Captain Brien: So I had the visor up and it was perfect right exactly in the middle of our camera shot which was good that was good.

Erik Myers: Oh you got me from all angles.

Captain Brien: I do.

Erik Myers: We need like a crotch cam to get the full effect.

Captain Brien: Yeah a lot of hair on that one.

Erik Myers: Okay.

Captain Brien: Biggs is watching we’re going–

Erik Myers: Big mama sent us a message.

Captain Brien: Yeah we’re headin’ over to 103 now we’re on the way to see Babs and Biggs and Mel–

Erik Myers: Yay!

Captain Brien: And you’re gonna tear it up right?

Erik Myers: I’m sure as heck gonna try.

Captain Brien: I believe it.

Erik Myers: I’m gonna do this, I just started Uber driving and I wanna do like have a camera in it, almost like Cash Cab but like record people be messing with them but I don’t know would they have to sign like a release? First of all I was picking up these college kids the other day in my Uber. I’m a 30 year old Uber driver and these kids in the backseat so I’m like what’s your major? And he’s like English. And I’m like that was my major. And he just started crying. He’s like–

Captain Brien: And then did you open the door and let him out?

Erik Myers: He jumped out and I was going 50 miles an hour.

Captain Brien: What’s your rating by the way? Your big joke is that you get to rate and they get to rate you. What’s your rating as a driver?

Erik Myers: I’m rated X.

Captain Brien: No c’mon!

Erik Myers: ‘Cause I’m driving buck naked.

Captain Brien: What’s your rating?

Erik Myers: My bare ass is pressed on the seats for all to see. I am rated 4.92.

Captain Brien: 4.92.

Erik Myers: My rating went down just because I got a four star rating but I only had 12 rides at that time. Well driving, I did Uber Miami, and it’s like first of all downtown Orlando Miami half the streets are one way streets, half the streets are closed, people drive like they’re crazy. You know in Florida people put on their turn signal people don’t let you over they speed up. They gotta be the first one to the red light or something. Everyone gets so angry in these damn cars they need to relax.

Captain Brien: So why’d someone give you a four star? Did you make the wrong turn?

Erik Myers: Because I um–

Captain Brien: They looked at your driving record? I have to talk about that.

Erik Myers: I was drinking vodka out of a thermos.

Captain Brien: Alright guys the promo code to see Erik is E-M-F because I know there’s some of the people E-M-F you get to see him tonight. Back to the Uber.

Erik Myers: Yes.

Captain Brien: So when you signed up to be a driver they didn’t make you make you submit like your drivers license, they did a background check or anything?

Erik Myers: They did but I have a secret identity.

Captain Brien: So how–

Erik Myers: My name is Nol Galager.

Captain Brien: How the hell did that happen?

Erik Myers: I went there and I said no, I said I have a good driving record.

Captain Brien: Because you haven’t had your license.

Erik Myers: I haven’t had a license so I have nothing. I’m a safe driver.

Captain Brien: You’re a safe driver.

Erik Myers: I’m a safe driver.

Captain Brien: Oh my God.

Erik Myers: I’ve got a good driving record and I’m Ubering.

Captain Brien: I’m not trusting my kids with Uber anymore, not after this.

Erik Myers: What no dude I’m a good Uber driver.

Captain Brien: Thank you Vicki, E-M-F thank you Vicki yes.

Erik Myers: E-M-F Vicki come to my show please we need you.

Captain Brien: Yes I love it.

Erik Myers: I’m doing good Ubers and then–

Captain Brien: And I’ll be live tomorrow with Joe List he’ll be on the Captain’s Log. We’re going press again. We’ll be at gator country 105.5 The Beat, we’ll be on 96k-Rock, we’ll be on 103.9, and that’s tomorrow morning. Kendall are you with us tomorrow morning? Or you have school?

Kendall: I’ve got school.

Captain Brien: Oh my God.

Erik Myers: School!

Captain Brien: What does she need school for?

Erik Myers: School?! You’re rollin’ with the big dog. This guy practically runs Naples.

Captain Brien: You’ve already made it.

Erik Myers: You’ve already made it. This guy if he walks into McDonalds they’ll throw two homeless people out of line to get him an egg mcmuffin I’ve seen it done.

Captain Brien: You wanna know a funny story?

Erik Myers: Yes.

Captain Brien: So I’m with Kevin Hart and I don’t wanna name drop but I’m with Kevin Hart, we go to Cracker Barrel. And the freaking lady at Cracker Barrel by the way just put your feet right on my dash right there–

Erik Myers: I’m sorry.

Captain Brien: Don’t worry about it.

Erik Myers: I’m sorry Brien I’m sorry.

Captain Brien: Don’t worry about my dash nothin’. Your grubby ass sneakers that’s good put ’em right there.

Erik Myers: I’m sorry.

Captain Brien: Make yourself at home.

Erik Myers: I got ArmorAll’s in my car.

Captain Brien: So we walk in to Cracker Barrel and Kevin’s got like four of his homies with him right.

Erik Myers: Okay.

Captain Brien: And the lady’s captain Brien oh my God I love you, what’s going on blah blah blah. And I’m with Kevin Hart and they didn’t even know who he was.

Erik Myers: That’s hilarious.

Captain Brien: And their freakin’ dudes like his whole possy thought it was the best ever. Like the best freaking day of their life they’re like this is the best thing ever.

Erik Myers: He got upstaged by captain–

Captain Brien: Yeah it was so funny.

Erik Myers: Captain B is famous out here man.

Captain Brien: And now I’ll take three zeros off of his paycheck and I’ll still be happy. Just delete three zeros and still make me happy.

Erik Myers: Oh my goodness oh my goodness. You need to add three zeros to my check.

Captain Brien: There’s no zeros on your check just one, just a zero.

Erik Myers: It’s just a zero. They give me a check for zero dollars. I owe them money at the end of the night. Like–

Captain Brien: Depends how much you eat. So no this is a true story.

Erik Myers: I eat a lot of food.

Captain Brien: Another true story. John Pinette spent upwards of $9,000 in the weekend at the hotel in the mini bar and the hotel restaurant and bar.

Erik Myers: $9,000?

Captain Brien: His bill.

Erik Myers: In a week?

Captain Brien: No dude in three days. Yes, yes.

Erik Myers: I don’t even think that’s possible.

Captain Brien: It’s possible because I saw the bill. And I was like oh I don’t pay those bills I only pay taxes and room charge not incidentals. And they’re like oh we’ll charge it to Mr. Pinette’s card thank you.

Erik Myers: $9,000.

Captain Brien: It was 90 something 600 or something.

Erik Myers: What? What was he eating?

Captain Brien: Dude it was, and it was all mini bar. How crazy is that?

Erik Myers: Well that could be three sodas from a mini bar.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Erik Myers:  Where’d you have him up at the Ritz-Carlton?

Captain Brien: It was at the–

Erik Myers: Marriott?

Captain Brien: J.W. Marriott.

Erik Myers: Yeah that was the nicest hotel. He was the nicest guy on the planet.

Captain Brien: He was awesome.

Erik Myers: He was the best guy rest in peace and a comedy genius.

Captain Brien: Loved him.

Erik Myers: Yeah he took me to Mangiamo’s one time he got us like seven appetizers, I had like no money. And then I went up to a casino and lost $60 playing crabs and he gave me 60 bucks.

Captain Brien: No way.

Erik Myers: Mhm, and he gave me $100 tip at the end of the week. He loved me.

Captain Brien: He was a good dude.

Erik Myers: He was a nice guy.

Captain Brien: He really had a heart of gold didn’t he?

Erik Myers: He did, he did. He was a great guy and a great comic.

Captain Brien: What’s the craziest thing that’s happened to you in comedy? I mean you’ve been doing comedy now for what 20 years no? How long?

Erik Myers: Probaby, 17 years.

Captain Brien: 17 years?

Erik Myers: I did it twice before then but May 10th 2001 is my go to date. This has happened to me three times where someone has fallen off a stool and had to have an ambulance called and have them taken out.

Captain Brien: Here we are.

Erik Myers: Yeah that has happened to me. And it’s very weird cause I’m on stage and somebody will be drunk or they’ll take like pills or whatever before the show, and they’ll fall right off the stool and I have to stand there and I can’t really make jokes ’cause the person might be dead so it’s like but then going back on after it’s the whole shows ruined. That has happened to me three times in my life.

Captain Brien: It is weird I’ve had like people, it’s just the general public, you’ve had people have heart attacks, choke on a meal, like all kinds of crazy stuff.

Erik Myers: That would freak me out I couldn’t even watch that.

Captain Brien: You know you have thousands of people a week in your venue and weird stuff happens. So it’s the same stuff when you’re on stage I can totally get that.

Erik Myers: Have you ever have someone choking and someone had to give them the heimlich maneuver?

Captain Brien: Yeah dud a couple times.

Erik Myers: Oh my gosh. Really?

Captain Brien: I’ve had people throw up, people–

Erik Myers: At the table?

Captain Brien: People lay a turd. Yeah dude.

Erik Myers: At the table?

Captain Brien: Yeah dude yeah yeah yeah. The general public does some weird stuff.

Erik Myers: Wait they–

Captain Brien: A turd. Fell right out of his pant leg.

Erik Myers: What do you mean?

Captain Brien: But it happens apparently ’cause the other day I was in Walmart and I literally, it was a code brown, in the aisle there was a turd on the floor. And the lady–

Erik Myers: I’m sorry about that.

Captain Brien: I was Snapchatting it–

Erik Myers: I drank some prune juice.

Captain Brien: It was a turd right in the freaking electronic section. And this was the other day, it was on my Snapchat, true story.

Erik Myers: Should have been in the toilet paper section. Wait did they put little cat ears or something on it?

Captain Brien: And I was like in the electronic section? The people in the electronic section have more money than this they shouldn’t be turding in the aisle. They should be a little educated.

Erik Myers: You need to by some apple underwear.

Captain Brien: Right.

Erik Myers: The iDiaper. It plays 30 million songs.

Captain Brien: It was on the side I think it was where the accessories were they needed more accessories.

Erik Myers: He left an accessory. That’s the idukey.

Captain Brien: Oh Liz is in Massachusetts. What’s happenin’?

Erik Myers: Must be freezing.

Captain Brien: Michelle how are you? Yeah I know I’m sorry it’s actually 71 it’s gotten one degree warmer here since we’ve been doing this show.

Erik Myers: It was 66 when I woke up I was freezing. I had to put my little jackies on.

Captain Brien: What time did you wake up this morning?

Erik Myers: I woke up, you picked me up at 7:25, and I rolled out of bed around 7:24.

Captain Brien: Oh nice did you wake up when I called you?

Erik Myers: I did when you called me I lept right out of bed I was fully dressed and perked and ready to go. And I had some crystal meth right by the bed–

Captain Brien: How many Redbulls have you drank today?

Erik Myers: I am on my 19th one.

Captain Brien: No did you have your Redbull fix yet?

Erik Myers: I have an IV pumping my chest that pumps me full of glutamina and fluxtime. No I haven’t had any Redbulls today.

Captain Brien: No Redbulls?

Erik Myers: I had two cups of coffee.

Captain Brien: Usually you have a couple Redbulls to fire up the morning don’t you?

Erik Myers: Well then stop and get me one peanuts.

Captain Brien: I gotta go we gotta go radio because–

Erik Myers: Brien I was thirsty, I was parched.

Captain Brien: There’s a lot of traffic today so this episode might run a little longer ’cause I–

Erik Myers: I’m running out of wise cracks.

Captain Brien: What is that? Is that a set list?

Erik Myers: I was suppose to bring my set list but I accidentally brought my list of things I need from Walgreens so it’s not gonna be very funny.

Captain Brien: Okay so what is it?

Erik Myers: Nair for men. Extra small condoms. And a Caramello Bar.

Captain Brien: Wait have you actually–

Erik Myers: What’s up with Mountain Dew?

Captain Brien: Have you actually ever used Nair for men?

Erik Myers: I have.

Captain Brien: No way.

Erik Myers: I did.

Captain Brien: What did you put it on?

Erik Myers: We don’t need to talk about it.

Captain Brien: No did you put it on your junk?

Erik Myers: I put it on my bald spot that’s why.

Captain Brien: No.

Erik Myers: I wanted to look older and more distinguished.

Captain Brien: It’s working.

Erik Myers: I did it is working. I Naired my legs one time. I Naired my legs one time because they were so hairy.

Captain Brien: Sarah’s said she’s been to the club at least ten times and Erik Myers is our absolute favorite.

Erik Myers: Awwwww Sarah I lovins you. Bless your little heart. Bless your little heart.

Captain Brien: You put the Nair on your nuts?

Erik Myers: I did one time yes.

Captain Brien: No way.

Erik Myers: Yes, and Nair takes off one layer of skin and your nuts is like one and a half layers of skin.

Captain Brien: Does it say on the package that it’s okay for that area or no?

Erik Myers: ‘Cause I see a picture of nuts with like the ghostbusters thing, don’t do it. I, my balls were like transparent. It looked like a sandwich bag with two plums in it.

Captain Brien: That’s a nice size package.

Erik Myers: They were like ghost balls–

Captain Brien: If they were the size of plums, each one was the size of a plum? That’s a big package.

Erik Myers: I have gigantic balls. I get it from my mother. My grandmother had a huge sac. We use to call her coin purse. Big balls.

Captain Brien: I don’t think I’ve laughed that much on a Captain’s Log ever and that’s embarrassing you made me laugh so hard.

Erik Myers: Oh my God, my grandmothers sac was saggin’ down to the fuckin’ Antarctica. Oh sorry.

Captain Brien: Oh great now you’re cursing. Oh my God. Ida what’s going on?

Erik Myers: Brien, Ida!

Captain Brien: We’re in Fort Meyers and we’re stuck in traffic there’s a lot of traffic and the sun’s right in our face.

Erik Myers: We’re stuck.

Captain Brien: I gotta tell the camera guy to do some adjusting on the light here.

Erik Myers: What camera guy? You got a freaking five dollar thing from Walmart.

Captain Brien: Alright fine well whatever.

Erik Myers: You could buy that when–

Captain Brien: It sounds better when ya know they can’t see it. I have to build it up like it’s a real thing.

Erik Myers: I wonder if the guy who shit on the floor in Walmart is watching this right now crying.

Captain Brien: I literally–

Erik Myers: I ate a bunch of fruit loops!

Captain Brien: Right after I Snapchatted it, a little guy came over with gloves on and a mask. And I’m life you’ve got gloves and a mask on everybody’s walking around normal, what the hell is wrong with this turd? Is this like a radioactive turd?

Erik Myers: If you step in it you’ll become turd man.

Captain Brien: Right.

Erik Myers: Like spider man, that’s your origin story. Wait did you ever see Caddy Shack? There was like a baby Ruth in the bowl and someone picks up and eats it.

Captain Brien: Oh my God they I think they’ve shortened this light they’re letting three people go through at a time.

Erik Myers: Dude this is preposterous.

Captain Brien: It’s so many–

Erik Myers: I could walk to the damn hotel.

Captain Brien: Well we’re not going to the hotel we’re going to 103.9.

Erik Myers: Brien I’m done tired.

Captain Brien: You’re done for the day?

Erik Myers: What do you want from me?

Captain Brien: Hey you guys wanna see Erik tonight? Use the promo code E-M-F at offthehookcomedy.com.

Erik Myers: Come see me!

Captain Brien: And I promise he’s funny he’s hysterical.

Erik Myers: I’m hysterical.

Captain Brien: And John Charles is opening up for you.

Erik Myers: John Charles! Yes he is the hilarious John Charles, very funny comedian and the Fazzle.

Captain Brien: Is he comin’?

Erik Myers: He’s hosting.

Captain Brien: Oh my God Fazzle. Fazzle watches all the time. Fazzle–

Erik Myers: Fazzle’s great I love Fazzle. He’s very funny.

Captain Brien: Fazzle I’ve given him a hard time this morning and–

Erik Myers: Why he’s a good guy! He’s got funny jokes.

Captain Brien: I always give him a hard time it’s fun.

Erik Myers: Brien you damn–

Captain Brien: Kendall how’s your experience on the Captain’s Log so far?

Kendall: It’s good, it’s good.

Captain Brien: Are you doing okay?

Kendall: Oh yeah I’m doing great.

Captain Brien: Alright Kendall how come no male interns ever wanna be my intern? It’s always females.

Erik Myers: I don’t know.

Captain Brien: Kendall why is that? Is my ad specific female specific?

Kendall: Yeah.

Captain Brien: No it’s not!

Kendall: It’s targeted.

Captain Brien: I did not. I didn’t even run an ad so it’s at the college–

Erik Myers: What does it say on the ad?

Captain Brien: It’s FGCU.

Kendall: No prostitutes.

Erik Myers: Male prostitutes–

Captain Brien: You have to put in your size and measurements. That’s the qualification.

Erik Myers: For the tip of your intern?

Captain Brien: No I’m joking it’s at FGCU.

Erik Myers: Me too right here sexual harassment.

Captain Brien: No guys ever apply, I was just wondering why it’s always females.

Erik Myers: I applied.

Captain Brien: Well you had to be in school.

Erik Myers: I said I’d fuck you. You never returned my calls.

Captain Brien: I blocked you after that.

Erik Myers: I sent you a sexy Snapchat of me shitting on the floor at Walmart. And I said this could be your face.

Captain Brien: That was you? That was you?

Erik Myers: I’m the Walmart shitter, I’ve been five places in the tri state area.

Captain Brien: I’m a little disappointed, I honestly thought that post would go more viral than it did. It only had like a thousand views. On Snapchat. I was pissed I mean you guys should have given it more love. It was a turd dammit!

Erik Myers: I think you shit on there to drum up business. For captain Brien.

Captain Brien: I didn’t even even do it, I just happened to come across a turd on the floor.

Erik Myers: You should sell captain Brien’s diapers for adults.

Captain Brien: Yes. It’s part of my merch at captainbrien.com. I sell that with my vodka, that’s captain spelled out, Brien B-R-I-E-N dot com. You can buy all the merch.

Erik Myers: I’m drinking captain Brien vodka right now and I’m hallucinating.

Captain Brien: No you’re not we’d shut you off.

Erik Myers: No he cut me off he said it’s not alcoholic fun punch.

Captain Brien: So you guys wanna listen to us after this shenanigans is over which is in just a few minutes–

Erik Myers: I sad!

Captain Brien: We’re gonna be on Big Mama the Wild Bunch because we just finished on 105.5 The Beat.

Erik Myers: Yes.

Captain Brien: And after that around ten o’clock we’re gonna be on 96k-Rock with Jeff Sitto.

Erik Myers: I’m so excited.

Captain Brien: And Kendall has already failed. She’s suppose to be videoing. You’d think she’d video one time. Kendall have you videod done anything during this show yet today?

Kendall: No not at all.

Captain Brien: Zero?

Kendall: Zero.

Captain Brien: What am I paying you for?

Erik Myers: She’s relaxing!

Captain Brien: You should pay me for all this exposure.

Erik Myers: She’s getting paid.

Captain Brien: Yes it’s a–

Erik Myers: I gotta do this for free.

Captain Brien: It’s a damn shame.

Erik Myers: I’m a big star.

Captain Brien: This is what I think should happen right now. She should pay us for all the freaking knowledge we’re giving her.

Kendall: We’ll go to Five Guys.

Captain Brien: It’s ridiculous.

Erik Myers: It’s on you and you’re not even getting free tickets to the show.

Captain Brien: I’m calling the labor board right now.

Erik Myers: I’m calling them, I’m depressed.

Captain Brien: What are you gonna tell them?

Erik Myers: I’m gonna tell them I need to work. You’ve been talking about poo poo all day it’s making me sick. People are shittin’ on the damn floor at Kmart.

Captain Brien: No it’s Walmart.

Erik Myers: Why are you shopping where everyone’s shitting on the floor?

Captain Brien: It was Walmart in Naples. This is real, I’m not lying.

Erik Myers: Well rich people shit too.

Captain Brien: Well they don’t on the floor.

Erik Myers: You idealist.

Captain Brien: You don’t have to take it on the floor.

Erik Myers: Well you know some people gotta go they’re old.

Captain Brien: What’s the craziest thing you ever did in Walmart?

Erik Myers: Me?

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Erik Myers: I shit on the floor.

Captain Brien: No c’mon!

Erik Myers: In aisle seven. Is that where, in electronics!

Captain Brien: It was in electronics.

Erik Myers: I was, I got so excited by the apple watches I just shit right on the floor.

Captain Brien: That was not you, that was not you!

Erik Myers: I got so excited.

Captain Brien: It was small, it could have been a small child. It wasn’t like a huge plop, it was like a little turd.

Erik Myers: I take small poops. I only eat raisins.

Captain Brien: Did you ever do anything crazy at Walmart? Everyone’s got a good crazy Walmart story no?

Kendall: Oh hell yeah.

Erik Myers: One time my friend, no this wasn’t at Walmart, this was at like Rooms To Go, he dared me to lay in the bed, like the display bed and put the blankets over me and when anyone walked by he was like videotaping me, anyone walked by I was like hey can you wake me up in 20 minutes for work? And people gave me the dirtiest look, they finally threw me out.

Captain Brien: Did you sleep?

Erik Myers: I was like pretending to sleep but I had my shoes and all my clothes on and I got under the blankets and these people were walking by the bed and I was like can you guys keep it down? We were like making a YouTube video but they didn’t know it because he was hiding and the manager came by and he was yelling at me I was like okay give me five more minutes. I was like what time is it? Wake me up at three I gotta go to work. It was actually kinda funny but.

Captain Brien: It sounds funny.

Erik Myers: Yeah I don’t know what the craziest thing I ever did at Walmart–

Captain Brien: One of the craziest things I ever did I know was I don’t know if that’s legal but we’re just gonna roll with that right there like that.

Erik Myers: What?

Captain Brien: The video like that.

Erik Myers: You can’t even see the oncoming traffic I don’t feel safe in this vehicle Brien.

Captain Brien: Let’s see. It’s another camera angle you know.

Erik Myers: Brien I’m a professional Uber driver I think I know how to drive.

Captain Brien: Really? Why did Kendall switch positions?

Kendall: I need a better angle.

Captain Brien: Oh you need a better look?

Erik Myers: She’s trying to jump out of the car and I don’t blame her.

Captain Brien: So one time I had a bike race in Walmart. That was fun.

Erik Myers: In Walmart?

Captain Brien: Yeah we used their bikes and–

Erik Myers: Who raced you and your kids?

Captain Brien: No a couple buddies. We were driving around Walmart on our bikes and racing and then the guy was like sir you can’t do that anymore. And I was like okay I’ll ride it back and I just drove it right back and parked it.

Erik Myers: What was that post you did on Facebook your kid was like my hair looks dead ass ratchet today or something?

Captain Brien: My daughter when she was like–

Erik Myers: So she got her cellphone back right?

Captain Brien: Yeah she got her cellphone back. She said something like dad my hair looks ratchet I need to get it cut today, dead ass. I was like you’re 11 nothing’s dead ass and it’s not ratchet.

Erik Myers: What does ratchet even mean?

Captain Brien: I don’t know. It’s like a ghetto term of like–

Kendall: Daytona.

Erik Myers What does it mean?

Kendall: Daytona, Daytona is ratchet.

Captain Brien: Daytona is ratchet. Like the city?

Kendall: Daytona Beach on spring break is ratchet.

Captain Brien: Really?

Erik Myers: What is ratchet?

Captain Brien: Yeah what’s ratchet mean?

Erik Myers: We’ll ask the college girl.

Captain Brien: Yeah the college girl knows.

Kendall: Ratchet is like just very dirty very grimy.

Erik Myers: Dirty and grimy.

Kendall: And gangsta

Captain Brien: Dirty and grimy and gangsta.

Kendall: Yeah.

Captain Brien: And that’s ratchet?

Kendall: That’s ratchet.

Erik Myers: I’m ratchet.

Kendall: Twerking, twerking on a stage is ratchet.

Erik Myers: ‘Cause it’s dirty?

Captain Brien: I like to twerk. How’s your twerkin’ skills?

Erik Myers I can’t really make my butt cheeks clap.

Captain Brien: No?

Erik Myers: No.

Captain Brien: Oh I make them clap.

Erik Myers: It’s kind of a soft calm.

Captain Brien: I make it clap make it clap make it clap.

Erik Myers: It’s like a golf clap.

Captain Brien: That’s my move.

Erik Myers: What?

Captain Brien: That’s my move that’s what I do at the club right away I go right to the clap.

Erik Myers: You make them ass cheeks clap?

Captain Brien: Yeah dude.

Erik Myers: I like to twerk. I twerk at Walmart.

Captain Brien: You do?

Erik Myers: I make them ass cheeks clap.

Captain Brien: In the aisle?

Erik Myers: Yeah and then the values fall down. It’s like 10% off, I’m like, they’re like 20% off. My balls are flappin’ around.

Captain Brien: You make it rain.

Erik Myers: I make it rain, I make it hail–

Captain Brien:  We’re not making it rain here on the Captain’s Log but we are–

Erik Myers: Prounce no.

Captain Brien: We are causing a lot of problems.

Erik Myers: I’m making diarrhea.

Captain Brien: I’m trying to drive Jesus what’re you doing?

Erik Myers: You call this drivin’? Jesus Christ

Captain Brien: Yes luckily this car drives itself.

Erik Myers: I think you’re legally blind.

Captain Brien: The car drives itself so we’re good.

Erik Myers: Well it sucks.

Captain Brien: I just gotta stay like semi on the road.

Erik Myers: Kendall will you drive? Because I think Brien’s had one too many captain Briens cocktails.

Captain Brien: Look there’s a cop right here in front of us. This is my move. If we get pulled over I’m always gonna put the live on air sign on. Don’t you think that would work? I hope that works. Actually I hope I never get pulled over–

Erik Myers: If we do we’ll get shot and put it on YouTube. but if I do I’m just gonna turn on the live on air, and he’s gonna say sir why are you live on air? Well I film a show in this car sir and I’m just doing a stunt. This was a stunt.

Captain Brien: This is a stunt.

Captain Brien: A speeding stunt.

Erik Myers: It’s a speeding stunt. I think you’d get off.

Captain Brien: I think it could work.

Erik Myers: Whenever I tell a cop I’m a comedian they always let me go. They’re like tell me a joke.

Captain Brien: Well guys thanks for tuning in. Go see Erik tonight at Off the Hook. We’re going on 103.9–

Erik Myers: When do we start filming this?

Captain Brien: We’re gonna start the show in a minute and this is the Captain’s Log. You guys like share say hello, there’s a little bell in the corner–

Erik Myers: Little bell!

Captain Brien: Ring that, press that little bell and you get notified that we’re live. When we’re live on the air you will know.

Erik Myers: You should have little twerking–

Captain Brien: And then if you had fun, if you enjoyed even a half a second of this show, give it a like. If you enjoyed more than five minutes then you have to share it, it’s just common law. And thanks for tuning in we had fun we’re here.

Erik Myers: Gracious!

Captain Brien: We’ll be back tomorrow with Joe List. Thanks for watching guys this is the Captain’s Log and oh yeah you can watch all the episodes on YouTube you can see this live but you can download the podcasts, Stitch or iTunes, Sound Cloud. I’m just gonna keep talking I don’t know why, this show’s over. Erik go do something, I don’t pay you anymore, you’re done.


S2:E3 The Captain’s Log with In The Know Columnist Tim Aten and Captain Brien!



Tim Aten and Captain Brien obsess over pizza while mentioning some restaurants coming to Naples soon. They chat about upcoming shows at Off The Hook with Michael Blackson then wrap up with more about what’s new.

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info. 

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!

Check Tim Aten out and show him some love at:

PODCAST RECAP

Miss something on one of our episodes of the #naplescaptainslog? Don’t worry we got you covered! Here you will find a full transcript from this episode of the #naplescaptainslog!

Captain Brien: Hey guys, thanks for joining the Captain’s Log today. Check it out. By the way, if you haven’t liked and shared the post, please do so. I do this every day. I don’t know, anyway. Tim Aten is our guest today. He is the famous reporter that you know locally for In the Know column, and we’re gonna learn about some new restaurants comin’ your way, and it’s all exciting good stuff. Get ready ’cause the Captain’s Log’s right at ya. Good morning, back again on the Captain’s Log, Tim Aten. In the Know, buddy.

Tim Aten: Hey.

Captain Brien: You’re the star of this whole town.

Tim Aten: Yeah, this is great.

Captain Brien: You write all the columns, everybody wants to follow you, know what’s going on next.

Tim Aten: Yeah, but this is the seat, man. This is like The Tonight Show. I feel like a lot of famous people have sat here.

Captain Brien: We are having fun, yes, I tell ya. It’s season two of The Captain’s Log, and I keep saying that season one only took 13 years to finish. I don’t know why I never said, season two, throughout all those years, but–

Tim Aten: I know, and you’ve, what, more than a couple hundred, right?

Captain Brien: Yeah, 200 episodes.

Tim Aten: Wow!

Captain Brien: I should have said, season two, at some point, right?

Tim Aten: Wow.

Captain Brien: But I wasn’t that organized up until recently. So anyway, yeah, you should be live on the air if you see it now, and then, we’re gonna take a little ride and see what’s goin’ on.

Tim Aten: All right.

Captain Brien: I wanna know what’s in the know. That’s the key, right?

Tim Aten: Oh, well, this time of year there’s a lot happening. in fact, I’ve been so inundated the last, the end of the year just hits. I feel like I get hit by a truck every year. It’s just so much to do to catch up.

Captain Brien: It really is.

Tim Aten: To look back, review, and to look ahead, it’s crazy, but there’s a lot comin’.

Captain Brien: What’s the big stuff? Tell me some good stuff. I wanna know.

Tim Aten: Well, comin’ up we have, between January and February, what we just know, there’s eight new restaurants coming each of those months. So we’re gonna have 16 new restaurants at least

Captain Brien: Wow!

Tim Aten: in January and February, and–

Captain Brien: And there’s a few right here, right? You got the Havana Blue and–

Tim Aten: Yeah, yeah, over here, yeah, the Cuban restaurant. The one that I think I’m interested in trying the pizza is Mr. 01 Extraordinary Pizza–

Captain Brien: That’s the guy from Miami, right?

Tim Aten: Yes!

Captain Brien: Oh, makes the star pizza.

Tim Aten: Yeah, exactly.

Captain Brien: I can’t wait. I’m gonna totally go for that.

Tim Aten: Yeah, yeah, I wanna try that one, and there’s another pizza place coming in February that I’m interested in is the guys that do Low Brow, have you been down there?

Captain Brien: Oh yeah, Chef Chris is my good buddy.

Tim Aten: Chris Jones, oh yeah–

Captain Brien: He’s openin’ another place?

Tim Aten: Yeah, he’s doin’ one called Industry Pizza and Slice Shop–

Captain Brien: Nice!

Tim Aten: Which is gonna be on Pinebridge in that little area where there’s Patrick’s and Bon Jour and Chinatown in that little strip.

Captain Brien: Yeah, yeah

Tim Aten: Back there

Captain Brien: Oh good

Tim Aten: That little, it was a dog bakery before.

Captain Brien: I know exactly what you’re talking about.

Tim Aten: But anyway, he’s gonna have slices, New York slices and like 24 inch pies. And I really wanna

Captain Brien: I love that

Tim Aten: I know. I can’t wait to try that

Captain Brien: I love that

Tim Aten: Cause it’s different than what he’s doing at Low Brow, but you know it’s gonna be good

Captain Brien: Right because his pizza’s more of like a rustic kind of brick oven, right.

Tim Aten: Yeah.

Captain Brien: So is he gonna do a New York style? Is that what he’s doin?

Tim Aten: Right New York and he’s gonna do some like Detroit squares too.

Captain Brien: I love that.

Tim Aten: But mainly he’s doin the slices.

Captain Brien: And he’s.

Tim Aten: And that’s what’s good. You can get it by the slice, because you can’t find that much here.

Captain Brien: No.

Tim Aten: I mean you can for lunch some places.

Captain Brien: I go to Mama Mia’s for a nice slice.

Tim Aten: He’s doin lunch. Exactly and Peppy’s is good.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Tim Aten: For slices, but they’re only during lunch. But this guy, he’s doin all day.

Captain Brien: I love that.

Tim Aten: Yeah.

Captain Brien: I love that. Chef Chris is a good friend of mine and he’s phenomenal.

Tim Aten: Yeah.

Captain Brien: I mean he came from so many different country clubs and what he’s doing now is great. I just, I love everything that he’s been.

Tim Aten: Yeah doin great.

Captain Brien: From the food truck and all that.

Tim Aten: Great sense of humor and

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Tim Aten: You know that’s what’s so funny about it, it’s one of those, you get chuckles goin in there so.

Captain Brien: So when does the, is the place with the star pizza guy comin? Cause I haven’t seen it in build out yet.

Tim Aten: Yeah it’s supposed to be in February so I think, I’m not sure, I think close to February 1st but I’m not certain exactly what day. And that’s the thing, its kind of a moving target. Even if they tell you a date, its not necessarily for sure. There are two for sures opening though on January 21st and that’s, one of them is The Yard House, which I’m excited about.

Captain Brien: I can’t wait

Tim Aten: Yeah that one

Captain Brien: Any time it’s in West Palm

Tim Aten: Yes

Captain Brien: The food is phenomenal. The atmosphere is always lit and

Tim Aten: Well I want to

Captain Brien: I’ve been tellin people too

Tim Aten: Yeah and I’m gonna try to get in there and do a pre-story on just how the beer lines were. There’s like miles of beer lines. They have 130 kegs they tap.

Captain Brien: Wow.

Tim Aten: More than 130.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Tim Aten: Up on the whole second floor and so, no it’s exciting to find. Even though its a chain, it still has a smaller type of chain

Captain Brien: Yeah they do

Tim Aten: I mean it’s part of Darden

Captain Brien: the food they do is really good though. I have to admit, like, I’ll go there every once in a while. Ill be in West Palm Beach on a Sunday, I’m telling you people line up at the door

Tim Aten: Wow

Captain Brien: To get a seat for the game. That’s how busy it is.

Tim Aten: No I knew it was gonna be big. And then that same day the first Newk’s Eatery opens here.

Captain Brien: Wait, what’s that one? You got me on that one.

Tim Aten: It’s like, it’s kind of a counter service. It’s American comfort food. It’s a place that’s gonna, the first ones gonna be on Naples Blvd.

Captain Brien: Is this a chain or is this

Tim Aten: It’s a chain yeah. They have.

Captain Brien: Its called Newk’s?

Tim Aten:Yeah Newk’s Eatery and they.

Captain Brien: I think I’ve seen it in a magazine but I’ve never been.

Tim Aten: Yeah and so they’re gonna have three of them probably around, before this time next year, we’ll have, cause there’s gonna be a second one.

Captain Brien: Okay

Tim Aten: Its going to be at Logan’s Landing at Logan and Immokalee

Captain Brien: Where’s the first one goin?

Tim Aten: The first one’s gonna be in that little strip they built in front of Hollywood 20 on Naples Blvd.

Captain Brien: Yeah yeah.

Tim Aten: Yeah so it’ll be, they’ll have outdoor dining

Captain Brien: Oh nice.

Tim Aten: there and it’ll be.

Captain Brien: That’s right, right around the corner yeah

Tim Aten: Yeah its real nice people that are, the franchisees live in Bonita. And they own like three of them I believe in New Orleans area and so they’re gonna have three here. They’re gonna have, there will be another one up on Alico.

Captain Brien: What kind of food is it?

Tim Aten: It’s, it’s kind of like comfort food. Soups, salads, you know hamburgers, sandwich, like a lot of sandwich type stuff.

Captain Brien: Okay.

Tim Aten: But I think, I think that it probably will do okay. And then we have some other ones that are, one, that other one that has probably the most buzz of any restaurant around is that Rocco’s Taco’s.

Captain Brien: Phenomenal.

Tim Aten: Which is coming in

Captain Brien: Phenomenal.

Tim Aten: Mid- jaunary, it might even open the same day for that matter, January 21st

Captain Brien: Rocco’s Tacos out of control good. Love it. I love the DJ.

Tim Aten: So yeah that’s, those are big.

Captain Brien: The hype atmosphere. I mean another place from the east coast is jammed.

Tim Aten: Yes.

Captain Brien: Literally jammed every day.

Tim Aten: Yep.

Captain Brien: I think they’re gonna crush it at the Mercato.

Tim Aten: Oh yeah.

Tim Aten: Totally.

Tim Aten: No doubt and so that one is, like I said, it’s got more, it’s got.

Captain Brien: It should.

Tim Aten:The only one that rivaled that for buzz and probably exceeded it was Celebration Park Food Truck.

Captain Brien: Oh yeah.

Tim Aten: That just opened up.

Captain Brien: Which is great. I’ve been there like four times already and I love going there.

Tim Aten: That had a huge buzz.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Tim Aten: And so does Rocco’s Tacos and so does, another one that’s coming this season to Mercato is TooJay’s deli, which is again

Captain Brien: Another east coast guy.

Tim Aten: East coast, exactly.

Captain Brien: Food’s great. I’m so happy they’re coming

Tim Aten: Yeah.

Captain Brien: So are they going where the old deli.

Tim Aten: Yeah where Stage 62 was.

Captain Brien: Really?

Tim Aten: Yeah.

Captain Brien: Yeah yeah yeah so TooJay’s, phenomenal.

Tim Aten: Yeah.

Captain Brien: How about their soup, you ever have it?

Tim Aten: No I haven’t been there.

Captain Brien: Oh their matzo ball soup.

Tim Aten: I have not been. I’ve always heard about it. In fact, people started asking me about them like more than five years ago. When is TooJay’s gonna come?

Captain Brien: You know why? Because they were looking at the place where I’m at.

Tim Aten: Oh they were?

Captain Brien: They were.

Tim Aten: They were also looking at the pavilion across, over there.

Captain Brien: They were pretty close to striking a deal. where I opened Off the Hook.

Tim Aten: Right.

Captain Brien: And um yeah.

Tim Aten: A lot of people were though. Because I heard, I remember when your place was, that was also gonna be one of the first locations for Twin Peaks.

Captain Brien: Oh really?

Tim Aten: In southwest Florida.

Captain Brien: Wow.

Tim Aten: They were gonna open there before they did the one up in, on Alico.

Captain Brien: That place is so busy.

Tim Aten: I know. But I don’t know, for some reason, they didn’t. And the another one who was gonna come there before you was Charles Mereday, Was gonna.

Captain Brien: Oh yeah.

Tim Aten: Was gonna do a place. He actually told me that an then it wasn’t long before he ended up leaving town.

Captain Brien: I think the Regency Center was pretty picky on who they wanted there so I think it took a little local buzz, right?

Tim Aten: Right, right.

Captain Brien: They kinda were like “look we want you to go there” so that’s I think what happened.

Tim Aten: Well and when you had the most longevity, cause you’re like at least the fourth um.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Tim Aten: Place to go in there.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Tim Aten: Or maybe fifth even because.

Captain Brien: It could be.

Tim Aten: Yeah because it started, when I remember the first one was Encore.

Captain Brien: That’s right.

Tim Aten: Was Encore and they were there only a couple years. And then there was Cafe Italia

Captain Brien: Mmm-hmm.

Tim Aten: Which was only there a couple years.

Captain Brien: Yep.

Tim Aten: And then there was, the next two were only there like a year, Latitude and Bond.

Captain Brien: Yeah I don’t think any of them really had like something you could sink your teeth into. I think that was most of it.

Tim Aten: Right.

Captain Brien: But in general, the Plaza is really like shopping and the restaurants at night, there’s not very many in that area right now so.

Tim Aten: Right. no but you’ve got a great location though because

Captain Brien: We’re packed. Yeah because I get to use all this parking.

Tim Aten: Yeah.

Captain Brien: That’s why it’s great.

Tim Aten: But it’s like seven, more than 7000 square feet I think right? So its a big place.

Captain Brien: It’s 8500 yeah

Tim Aten: Oh wow that’s good.

Captain Brien: it’s pretty big. The kitchen’s huge. Actually we have two kitchens, the front kitchen and the back kitchen. So the original people, I guess, that originally designed it, we only did a minor construction but I guess they thought they were gonna serve, you know 10,000 people a day cause they built it like a hotel.

Tim Aten: Oh my gosh.

Captain Brien: The kitchen’s insane, so yeah

Tim Aten: But you’re, you’ll be coming up on your fourth anniversary though this year.

Captain Brien: That’s right.

Tim Aten: I think and so you’ve already survived more than any of those other two put together.

Captain Brien: Right yeah.

Tim Aten: So that’s good.

Captain Brien: I mean we had an ongoing business. It’s been almost 14 years now.

Tim Aten: Mm-hmm.

Captain Brien: So that was just a good move for us but that makes it nice, you know.

Tim Aten: Right.

Captain Brien: Now that we’re there and we’re actually putting in a new stage next week.

Tim Aten: Oh wow.

Captain Brien: So that should be cool. Not a whole new stage, we already did that. But we’re putting in a whole new backdrop. So we’re redesigning the back of the stage, which is cool because we’ve been doing so much with video and we’re recording and we had some clips hit 2, 3 million views with the comedians, you know, on stage.

Tim Aten: Oh yeah.

Captain Brien: So we’re gonna really, in 2019, we’re shooting 4k, three cameras like every night at the shows and its been doing really well on Instagram and Facebook and even YouTube.

Tim Aten: That’s good.

Captain Brien: So that’s our new move for 2019.

Tim Aten: That’s great. Well I know that you’ve got the two different names, you’ve got the Rose Seafood and then you’ve got the Off The Hook, so what, do you see your place as a comedy club with a restaurant or a restaurant with a comedy club or how do you see it?

Captain Brien: As far as that goes, honestly, I want it to be a restaurant with a comedy club cause I want people to eat, but everybody does eat now and we’re clearly a comedy club. So it’s kind of been a transition. Originally we were a restaurant. Then we went to restaurant with a comedy club. And now it’s pretty full scale comedy club 24/7. I mean we’re doing shows every night except Monday. So Tuesday through Sunday there’s just shows. So it’s very hard even to come in for the restaurant

Tim Aten: Right.

Captain Brien: Unless you are watching a show. Which is great because then I get to feed them and they get to laugh and they get to buy tickets. So it works out good for us.

Tim Aten: And the drinks, don’t forget.

Captain Brien: And they get the drinks, yeah cause I have the new vodka and the rum.

Tim Aten: Yeah I know.

Captain Brien: Have you tried that yet?

Tim Aten: No I want to though. That sounds great.

Captain Brien: You gotta try it. Ill give you a bottle of Captain Brien’s vodka or rum. Whatever your preference is when we leave. That’s my departing gift. I get people on The Captain’s Log, they get a gift, you know.

Tim Aten: That’s funny.

Captain Brien: So.

Tim Aten: So I know you started like nine years ago. You were down, or not nine years ago, you were nine years in Marco.

Captain Brien: Yes.

Tim Aten: So how did you start with the comedy though? What started that?

Captain Brien: So because, originally in 2001 when I opened Captain Brien’s it was like a take-out concept. And then when we grew to the 200 seater on Marco Island, basically at the end of 8:00 at night I was like I think it’s gonna be pretty slow if we don’t figure out what to do for a late night and I just one day decided, these guys are just gonna have a conversation right across, car to car, huh. So then I just decided that we needed to do something late at night and that’s really all it was. Was a decision to do late night entertainment and it started growing and growing and growing but the BP oil spill was really I think one of the reasons why we changed the whole concept to doing national comedy acts all the time, was because there was so slow during that time and people like hesitant to eat the seafood. Remember there was that.

Tim Aten: Oh right, right.

Captain Brien: “Ooh we shouldn’t eat seafood.” It affected us so bad that I basically

Tim Aten: Or they thought there was oil on the beaches

Captain Brien: Right.

Tim Aten: And they didn’t come down.

Captain Brien: Right yeah they didn’t know.

Tim Aten: Right, never go there once.

Captain Brien: Exactly so during that transition. I basically started just doing huge like national acts every week and focusing on the local Fort Myers, Naples and Marco Island clientele to come to the restaurant for comedy.

Tim Aten: Wow.

Captain Brien: And that’s, that’s it. After that it became 50% comedy, 50% restaurant. And then it kept going and you know the restaurant became secondary to the comedy.

Tim Aten: Well how did you, do you have connections with national acts? How did you come about that?

Captain Brien: You know what? It really just started where I would just, was knocking on Hollywood 24/7, that’s it.

Tim Aten: But it’s easier now I’m guessing?

Captain Brien: Now they call me 24/7. now it’s more of a pain in the butt.

Tim Aten: Oh my gosh.

Captain Brien: But the thing is.

Tim Aten: That’s a nice problem to have

Captain Brien: It is but it’s still always a challenge to put the right act on the right week and also they have to be available. Like so you have to work together all the time. Like if you’re not talking and looking at calendars and schedules and who’s available every day, like you might miss something that could have fit perfect for the schedule.

Tim Aten: Right.

Captain Brien: Cause you only have 52 weeks.

Tim Aten: Mm hmm.

Captain Brien: And every weekend, if you don’t have like a winner, then it’s really, then it’s a loss for the business.

Tim Aten: Yep.

Captain Brien: So you gotta try and shoot for wins every week. Like, this week, we have a really big act tonight and tomorrow. The guy’s got like four million followers on social media, Michael Blackson. He’s the guy that has the roast battles with Kevin Hart every day on Twitter and Instagram

Tim Aten: Ah okay.

Captain Brien: And Facebook. They just go back and forth at each other. But he’s doing two shows tonight, two shows tomorrow. And those are packed so that’s great.

Tim Aten: Mm hmm.

Captain Brien: You know like. We just came off Tom Cotter for New Years Eve, which was really good and that was two sold out shows. And then to have Michael Blackson the following week, because this would be a slow weekend for us. It’s hard to do, like coming off New Years, how many people want to go back out and party again?

Tim Aten: Right.

Captain Brien: But the when I find a guy like Michael Blackson, who has a built in audience, like you know he just puts out a tweet and a message on his Instagram that he’s gonna be here and all of a sudden everybody wants to show up. So that’s.

Tim Aten: Well that’s good.

Captain Brien: That’s what like my focus is every day is you have to find those because there’s not, there’s not those guys calling me. Like I still have to go out and say “Hey look, I want you on this weekend” which works out really good.

Tim Aten: That’s good.

Captain Brien: Barbecue, what’s your favorite barbecue?

Tim Aten: Oh there’s some good ones. I mean, I think that I don’t have a personal favorite necessarily but I know that Black Eyed Pig is one of the favorite ones around.

Captain Brien: Oh yeah the Black Eyed pig’s great

Tim Aten: And you know the one thing too that’s, there are at least three barbecue places coming this year.

Captain Brien: I know one that’s coming.

Tim Aten: There’s Nawty Hogg Backyard BBQ, which has a food truck down at Celebration Park. It’s opening up a brick and mortar place.

Captain Brien: Ah okay.

Tim Aten: They’re gonna be at, where the old Joey D’s was at Pine Ridge and Collier Blvd. Back in that.

Tim Aten: Yeah okay. that little shopping center, Brooks Village.

Captain Brien: Yep.

Tim Aten: So they’re gonna be opening up probably around February 1st. And then there’s another one coming called, tentatively called Off The Bone Rib Shack.

Captain Brien: Okay.

Tim Aten: And it’s gonna be in Logans Landing again but they’re building where the new shopping center at Logan and Immokalee, which is.

Captain Brien: Oh I know right where that is

Tim Aten: Yeah yeah in fact Sprouts Farmers Market will be

Captain Brien: That’s gonna be the.

Tim Aten: The first local one will be

Captain Brien: Yep.

Tim Aten: That’s opening February 20th. so everything else will be after that and they’re gonna, I don’t think they get possession for the, for the

Captain Brien: Restaurant.

Tim Aten: The shells to build out until like February 1st

Captain Brien: So then they’re gonna be 8 months

Tim Aten: So things will take 60 to 90 days, it depends on what the place is. Some of them are gonna be longer, yeah. I think the Off The Bone won’t be until next fall.

Captain Brien: Is that a chain or a local guy?

Tim Aten: It’s local.

Captain Brien: Oh cool.

Tim Aten: In fact behind it is Randy Seyler of Pelican Larry’s.

Captain Brien: Yeah, yeah sure I know Randy.

Tim Aten: He’s doing it but then he’s got some, he won’t, he hasn’t given me the name yet, but he’s got some local barbecue guy, I don’t know who it is.

Captain Brien: Very cool.

Tim Aten: It could be a number of people.

Captain Brien: And then there’s a guy at the farmers market. on Vanderbilt.

Tim Aten: Yes.

Captain Brien: The Pit, is it Pitmaster?

Tim Aten: Yes, Pit Commander.

Captain Brien: Pit Commander, I love his barbecue

Tim Aten: Yeah and that’s gonna be a cool place too again down on Bayshore. You’re gonna have a lot of synergy between that and the Celebration Park. But he’s got, yeah he’s central-Texan barbecue.

Captain Brien: Oh my God, his brisket’s out of control.

Tim Aten: Yeah it’s.

Captain Brien: Have you tried that?

Tim Aten: Yeah it’s good. Yeah and he has, he’s there, he just came back I think Saturdays now he’s at Vanderbilt

Captain Brien: Yes.

Tim Aten: Again.

Captain Brien: On Saturday mornings yeah.

Tim Aten: At the farmers market.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Tim Aten: And so but he’ll be there full time. It’s gonna be cool, like a garden setting out in the and again it’s gonna be a brew house. They’re gonna do their own beer there

Captain Brien: Very cool.

Tim Aten: And then he’ll be the main food down there

Captain Brien: That’s excellent. That’s excellent

Tim Aten: and then he’s also gonna branch off and do, he calls it Texapolitan pizza.

Captain Brien: Oh.

Tim Aten: And I think he’s gonna start that there. It may not be right away, but he’ll be offering that.

Captain Brien: That’ll be interesting.

Tim Aten: Yeah.

Captain Brien: I love pizza. I can eat pizza for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Tim Aten: Yeah me too.

Captain Brien: Do you eat a lot of pizza?

Tim Aten: I do yeah, probably too much, but yeah I love it. In fact, that’s always a joke at my family cause

Captain Brien: Me too.

Tim Aten: Like it was birthdays, people go to get steak, I would want to go and have pizza.

Captain Brien: When I eat pizza, if it’s not New York pizza, and I eat a different style, that means I can still eat New York pizza for the next meal.

Tim Aten: Because it’s not real pizza

Captain Brien: Right, it doesn’t count right, exactly so I’ll just eat

Tim Aten: That’s funny.

Captain Brien: And I have to watch it because it’s like how many more carbs do I have to eat today?

Tim Aten: You know what I’m looking forward to trying and that I’ve never had before is that new Abruzzo place that’s coming, at shops across from the corner.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Tim Aten: Where Cafe Alfredo was.

Captain Brien: Right, right, right on Vanderbilt.

Tim Aten: They’re gonna have fried pizza.

Captain Brien: Really?

Tim Aten: Yeah, and I’ve never had that, so I’m kind of interested to see what it’s like.

Captain Brien: I drive my bike by there everyday and I peek in because I go to the gym right there and it looks like they’re kinda getting close.

Tim Aten: Yeah.

Captain Brien: I think they just–

Tim Aten: Yeah, they might be opening this week, actually.

Captain Brien: Right, because I don’t think they did a full remodel.

Tim Aten: No.

Captain Brien: They just cleaned it up.

Tim Aten: No, and they didn’t really need to.

Captain Brien: Correct.

Tim Aten: And they’ve got that really nice pizza oven.

Captain Brien: Yep.

Tim Aten: So, they’re gonna use that. They’re gonna have regular pizzas too, coal fired Neapolitan-style pizzas, but they’re also gonna do this fried pizza, which I’m kinda interested in.

Captain Brien: Really? Now, isn’t that, they have another location?

Tim Aten: Yeah they’re in the Pavilion.

Captain Brien: Right.

Tim Aten: Next to the Paragon Pavilion Theater.

Captain Brien: Right next to the movie theater. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, good.

Tim Aten: Yeah, they been there for years and so this’ll be a second. And they claim they’re gonna keep the first one open. I kind of wonder if that’s just until the lease runs out, ’cause that seems kinda close to have. It’s only two and a half miles apart between the two locations.

Captain Brien: Right.

Tim Aten: So, I wouldn’t think they’re gonna really keep the first one open after too long.

Captain Brien: Oh you don’t think the one at the theater–

Tim Aten: Maybe they won’t. Maybe they won’t because they might be different.

Captain Brien: It’s smaller right? That place is much smaller where they are now.

Tim Aten: Yeah, yeah.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Tim Aten: Yeah, but that’s one thing. This is two units where they’re going, so it’s a pretty nice place, so.

Captain Brien: I can’t believe ten years, my God. And that plaza has gotten so busy, where the Pavilion is. I mean it’s packed all the time.

Tim Aten: Yeah, you know what? When Publix left there and moved across to The Market Place at Pelican Bay, I thought this shopping center is gonna be dead.

Captain Brien: Dead.

Tim Aten: It’s gonna die, but then LA Fitness went in there, and that actually has been busier than ever.

Captain Brien: It’s way busier than ever.

Tim Aten: I can’t believe it. Yeah, I can’t believe it.

Captain Brien: You can’t even park there half the time. It’s so busy.

Tim Aten: I know, and it’s not even built out. They still have those units to fill on the other side where Key West Bar and Grill used be.

Captain Brien: That’s right.

Tim Aten: And it seems like there’s another one over there. And there’s were TooJay’s was gonna go.

Captain Brien: Oh, okay.

Tim Aten: So, they’re liable to see, you’re probably get somebody there eventually big too.

Captain Brien: I’m surprised that TooJay’s is taking that small unit because they used to be, they’re huge, usually, like big stores. Maybe it’s cause it’s they’re first time on this market, they want to just.

Tim Aten: I don’t know. I didn’t even realize that it was a lot smaller than what they normally choose.

Captain Brien: Yeah they’re foot print is usually really big, like a Jason’s Deli.

Tim Aten: Okay.

Captain Brien: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, that’s something that.

Tim Aten: No, people are excited about it though, because over the years I get asked the most about a New-York-style cuisine. We went up there. Cause New Yorkers, I know you can relate, are always looking for the best pizza, the best pastrami sandwich, the best bagel, and the best Jewish deli.

Captain Brien: And I can’t leave out Pastrami Dan’s, my all time favorite.

Tim Aten: Oh yeah, that’s good.

Captain Brien: I love, love, love. I go in Pastrami Dan’s and get half roast beef with cheddar and gravy, and the other side of the sandwich, pastrami. Yeah, ya gotta go for the combo, ya gotta tell ’em.

Tim Aten: That sounds good, that sounds good.

Captain Brien: And then the other I get pastrami with Swiss, pickles, and mustard. And then I get a super taco. You ever have the super taco there?

Tim Aten: No.

Captain Brien: Oh my God

Tim Aten: No, I wanna go there for that, though.

Captain Brien: You gotta have the super taco. It’s delicious. And they put the cheese on it, like the grilled cheese gets burnt on the edge. Oh, my good. So delicious.

Tim Aten: No, they’ve been around a long time. Probably like 40 years I think.

Captain Brien: Yeah, it’s been amazing. And every time you go in it’s busier and busier. So, he does good. I’m happy for him. They’re always watching. So, hey guys, what’s happening? Anyway, anything else you wanna tell me? I’ve learned a lot of good stuff, but is there anything, you have a diamond in the ruff? Otherwise we’re gonna wrap it up.

Tim Aten: Well, also do my Monday column, which people, I hope they will right in for the Q and A. So, it’s a question answer. People will write in all kinds of things. I like covering the development actually more than the restaurants.

Captain Brien: And you’ll post your contact information in the comments. So, people can write into you. They ask questions, you know Tim from In The Know, always has the best information about the up and coming restaurants. You do other stuff besides restaurants, but that’s your key, right?

Tim Aten: Yeah, that’s the most popular. People just love it. I’d say they eat it up.

Captain Brien: They really do.

Tim Aten: So, and then the Monday, like coming up this Monday I’ve got a thing on Waterside Shops, the Apple Store. People wanna know when it’s gonna reopen, and it’s not gonna be till the fall.

Captain Brien: Wait, I didn’t even know it was closed.

Tim Aten: Oh yeah it’s been closed since September. They’re remodeling. It’s gonna be a huge store.

Captain Brien: Really?

Tim Aten: They took over where the old Talbots was, and they’re expanding. And I’m not sure exactly what they’re doing yet, but I hope to find out by then.

Captain Brien: Well, that’s great. That’s good news. See, I didn’t know that.

Tim Aten: Yeah it’s good. And Starbucks, though, is closing there.

Captain Brien: They are.

Tim Aten: They’re going more towards drive-throughs and that kind of things, which they’ve been opening so, they’re not gonna be in Waterside anymore after January 11th.

Captain Brien: Well, that’s In the Know, guys. See? You got your own little episode today on The Captain’s Log. Thanks Tim, I appreciate you being here.

Tim Aten: Well thank you. It was a pleasure.

Captain Brien: Appreciate you taking a ride with me. It’s interesting and 2019’s gonna be a great year.

Tim Aten: Oh yeah

Captain Brien: And stay in touch. We’ll do it again.

Tim Aten: Alight, thanks.

Captain Brien: Thanks buddy. Hey guys I hope you enjoyed today’s episode of The Captain’s Log. I had a good time with Tim Aten was our guest. And he’s the man from In The Know. I learned a lotta good stuff. What’s coming on the market place here in Naples, Florida. And don’t forget, if you get thirsty, certainly just go and get Captain Brien Vodka or Rum because that’s one of sponsors. And of course I own the company, so, you might like that. Captain Brien. C-A-P-T-A-I-N-B-R-I-E-N.com. Check it out. We got some good gear too, some cool merch, if you wanna buy that. And we’ll back at you tomorrow with The Captain’s Log. Thanks for tuning in, peace.


S2:E2 The Captains Log with The Tennessee Tramp Janet Williams and Captain Brien!



Comedian Janet Williams joins the fun! She’s here to have a good time and not afraid to let us know how it is!

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info. 

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!

Check out Janet Williams and show her some love at:

 

PODCAST RECAP

Miss something on one of our episodes of the #naplescaptainslog? Don’t worry we got you covered! Here you will find a full transcript from this episode of the #naplescaptainslog!

Captain Brien: Live on the Captain’s Log how are you? This is episode two of The Captain’s Log with Janet Williams I have a real live tramp in the car.

Janet Williams: Yes you do. You’ve probably had more they just didn’t call themselves tramps.

Captain Brien: They didn’t refer to it specifically like that. Put your seatbelt on this is going to be a dangerous ride.

Janet Williams: I know it is. I’m with The Captain.

Captain Brien: Welcome aboard this is The Captain’s Log. I appreciate you guys tuning in. If you hang on we’re going to give away some tickets to see you tonight at Off The Hook comedy club how great is that?

Janet Williams: Hey that’s great because I have a lot if advice for every single age.

Captain Brien: You do?

Janet Williams: Yes I do.

Captain Brien: And you travel all around so you have some good stories.

Janet Williams: Oh I have great stories and if I don’t have great stories ill make it up.

Captain Brien: That’s a riot. So how did– I don’t even know if I know how you got The Tramp name.

Janet Williams: Okay I got all my husbands together in one meeting room and that’s the name that they came up with. Others could not be used on the air, but that’s the one that stuck.

Captain Brien: That one you figured at least it’s universal.

Janet Williams: Yes. And I’m not going to tell you how many husbands there were.

Captain Brien: There was at least one.

Janet Williams: Well there’s more than one and I love wedding cake I didn’t realize you could order a wedding cake without getting married. So once I realized that I quit getting married.

Captain Brien: Yeah you stopped.

Janet Williams: Yeah I’ll just get a cake.

Captain Brien: That’s good now what’s your favorite flavor?

Janet Williams: I like almond cake with cream cheese icing, but that I’m here this week let me tell you, I love the carrot cake it off the hook.

Captain Brien: Yeah it’s good.

Janet Williams: It’s the best it is the best.

Captain Brien: It is good I like it myself.

Janet Williams: And I know what is good to eat and what’s not good to eat.

Captain Brien: Well how do you explain that?

Janet Williams: Well if it’s really not good to eat it’s not good for you it doesn’t taste well.

Captain Brien: Yeah so wait the things that always are good to eat are usually not good for you.

Janet Williams: Right.

Captain Brien: Is that what you’re saying?

Janet Williams:  Right that’s what I’m saying, but if its a really good artery-clogger…

Captain Brien: Then they’re usually delicious.

Janet Williams: Delicious no doubt.

Captain Brien: Like a fried Oreo damn those are good.

Janet Williams: Oh I’ve never had one.

Captain Brien: You’ve never had a fried Oreo?

Janet Williams: No.

Captain Brien: Wait you’re from Tennessee!

Janet Williams: I know hey we do not fry everything in Tennessee.

Captain Brien: You barbecue or fry it, I don’t think you have other options.

Janet Williams: We barbecue or fry it that’s true. We just eat unusual things like, I bet you’ve never had a barbecued possum.

Captain Brien: No wait can you eat possum?

Janet Williams: You can.

Captain Brien: I thought you’d get like–

Janet Williams: Its roadkill. If its happened within ten minutes that meat’s still good.

Captain Brien: Really?

Janet Williams: I have no idea what I’m talking about.

Captain Brien: I thought you can’t eat possum they give you that disease.

Janet Williams: What disease?

Captain Brien: Oh that’s an armadillo that’s an armadillo.

Janet Williams: Oh you wouldn’t want an armadillo.

Captain Brien: Yeah you can’t eat armadillo it kills you, kill you.

Janet Williams: Yes yes yeah. Like that fish that you order, you have to sign off that.

Captain Brien: Oh the puffer the blowfish?

Janet Williams: Yeah you have to sign off to eat it.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Janet Williams: I’m not signing off on anything.

Captain Brien: I’m not signing nothing I have kids. I gotta take care of them. “What happened to Dad? He ate too much.”

Janet Williams: If I had kids I’d be eating that by the truckload.

Captain Brien: You would cast net ’em all day.

Janet Williams: I don’t want a contract just bring me tartar sauce.

Captain Brien: Would you fry it or would you just grill it or raw? Right down the hatch the whole thing?

Janet Williams: Fry.

Captain Brien: Yeah?

Janet Williams: Didn’t we just discuss the South? Yeah do you eat biscuits?

Captain Brien: Ooh I love biscuits.

Janet Williams: I make the best biscuits.

Captain Brien: Oh really? Like ten years you’ve been working the club? I get no biscuits none! Not a damn freaking crumb!

Janet Williams: Okay the next time I come biscuits are on the table.

Captain Brien: Okay I’m going to hold you to it.

Janet Williams: No problem.

Captain Brien: I’m going to hold you to it.

Janet Williams: No problem I’m there.

Captain Brien: Biscuits I got no biscuits I get nothing.

Janet Williams: I know!

Captain Brien: No fried chicken no barbecue.

Janet Williams: Oh I make great fried chicken.

Captain Brien: Oh she makes everything great. Everything is great we just can’t taste it.

Janet Williams: Here’s the deal you get a thin girl it’s microwaveable that’s it.

Janet Williams:You get a heavy-set woman we cook, and we cook in iron skillets.

Captain Brien: Oh I like a good iron skillet. I like a cornbread done in my iron skillet. Alright tell me you make the best cornbread too.

Janet Williams: I don’t make the best cornbread but I do make the best biscuits.

Captain Brien: That’s good I’m happy you didn’t tell me that too because everything is the best but I get none of it. It’s really depressing me this is my show.

Janet Williams: And next time I come in we’re gonna have fried chicken and biscuits.

Captain Brien: Okay I’m ready.

Janet Williams: It’s done.

Captain Brien: Wait so I love chicken I love chicken fingers but I say chicken “finga” because I’m from Boston. So I love chicken fingas. I eat them all the time.

Janet Williams: I know.

Captain Brien: And I love but I don’t like just like the Tyson store bought chicken. I like what I call chicken finga but I like the breast fried like regular fried chicken. Sometimes on the bone I’m not a big fan of fried chicken. I’ll eat chicken on the bone no problem but fried chicken sometimes I like just the breast.

Janet Williams: Right and I fry boneless chicken breast.

Captain Brien: Oh you fry the boneless chicken breast, what about like you know what I have not fried? I eat a lot in the Asian restaurants they’ll eat the thigh, that’ll be boneless and that’s dark meat right? So that’s good I should fry that.

Janet Williams: I’m not really I’m not big on dark meat.

Captain Brien: No nothing? No well what are you gonna do?

Captain Brien: We’ll try it we’ll go back to the biscuits what are you gonna tell ’em? What do you want to do?

Janet Williams: Fried chicken and biscuits it doesn’t get any better than that.

Captain Brien: Randy says Mid-west girls cook great, well Randy you haven’t cooked The Tramp hasn’t cooked, I’m sitting here I do all the cooking I do the cooking the talking the feeding the eating.

Janet Williams: And now we’ve got vodka and rum.

Captain Brien: Yeah yeah the drinking.

Captain Brien: I’m doing the work of the Lord I think. I bringing food to the table.

Janet Williams: I’m telling you Jesus sent you.

Captain Brien: Turning water into vodka. It’s not easy I’m doing it though. It’s not easy

Janet Williams: I’ve got this laryngitis thing, and I think your vodka is going to heal me.

Captain Brien: Well I’m going to do the rum too, I think you need a little rum because it’ll be a a little sweeter on you for you. You’re sweet you need a little sweetness in your life.

Janet Williams: Yes yes and as you get older you need sweetness, because old people are angry. And I’ll tell you what not all of them, but they are for good reason

Captain Brien: Yeah what’s that?

Janet Williams: You know it’s I have friends my age and I’m 70 and they’re like, “Can you believe that girl is hanging out of that top with those breast implants? Look how short her skirt is.” They’re saying that because they can’t wear that.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Janet Williams: If I has breast implants I would make Dolly Parton look flat-chested.

Captain Brien: Yeah you would get them.

Janet Williams: I would be touching the dash.

Captain Brien: Would you get big ones?

Janet Williams: Huge huge yeah and I’d want people to stare at me and then I’d go, “You can touch these if you buy me some rum and for Captain Brien.

Captain Brien: Just that’s it that’s all they have to do?

Janet Williams: That’s all that’s it.

Captain Brien: What if a bunch of people what if it’s shots all around?

Janet Williams: Not a problem. I got ’em covered because I got those big knockers.

Captain Brien: Yeah yeah and would you dress them up or would you just?

Janet Williams: Oh no no being touching the dashboard’s dress up enough you know what I mean?

Captain Brien: Yeah that’s good enough to go. Yeah that’s all the entrance they need?

Janet Williams: Right.

Captain Brien: I hear ya I hear ya.

Janet Williams: And I love the young girls that wear all these high heels they’re sparkly you know.

Captain Brien: Bless those girls I love them too.

Captain Brien: Oh I know men love that and I understand why I totally understand why.

Captain Brien: Why?

Janet Williams: Because they’re in heat.

Captain Brien: The men?

Janet Williams: Men are in heat 24/7, and when you meet a woman and she goes, “Oh I love everything about you.” And then you marry her. She wants you to change your socks don’t wear those shoes she likes nothing about you that she loved before the big ring.

Captain Brien: That’s right. What is that?

Janet Williams: We’re bitches.

Captain Brien: Oh. So you all get together and make that pact beforehand?

Janet Williams: Oh no we could never get together because we hate each other. We do this on our own.

Captain Brien: That’s true why is it that women always want to have guy friends but they don’t want to have girl friends?

Janet Williams: Well I’ll tell you what I work–

Captain Brien: When the girls go when the girls go out though then it’s a whole thing.

Janet Williams: Oh yeah you got a cock blocker somewhere.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Janet Williams: Um you know women are their own worst enemies. You know collectively we could rule the world, but we’re so petty about things you know? And I don’t know why we’re like that.

Captain Brien: I don’t either.

Janet Williams: I don’t have any idea but I’ve always worked predominantly in male environments and I love working with men.

Captain Brien: Well I love working with you.

Janet Williams: Well there you go.

Captain Brien: So we’re like a match made in heaven.

Janet Williams: Right and we work well together and we can party together but I’m not someone you want to marry.

Captain Brien: Why?

Janet Williams: Because at this stage in my life I’ve got some of my friends that are marrying again in their middle 70s late 70s, and they go, “Wouldn’t you like to have someone in your life?” No I don’t want to hear nobody breathing next to me I don’t want somebody saying, “Are my khakis clean?” You wore them last I don’t know. You know, “Are you hungry?” Which means they want something to eat. I don’t want to wait on anybody. No one.

Captain Brien: Do you like to cook?

Janet Williams: Love to cook.

Captain Brien: Do you like to clean?

Janet Williams: I love to clean.

Captain Brien: You will be perfect.

Janet Williams: I know.

Captain Brien: You’d be a good catch.

Janet Williams: I would be a good catch but–

Captain Brien: I like to cook but I just don’t I don’t like to clean.

Janet Williams: I love to clean it’s self-gratification.

Captain Brien: Cleaning up after I cook.

Janet Williams: Oh yeah I love that and I love a man that cooks. I think the perfect marriage is a man and a woman that enjoy cooking together so with my last ex-husband I said, “You know Stan I think we need to cook together.” He goes, “Okay.” So we made Chex Mix at Christmas.

Captain Brien: Oh that was talent.

Janet Williams: Have you ever had the police come to your home over making Chex Mix? No it didn’t happen so cooking didn’t bring us any closer.

Captain Brien: No wow so why’d the police come?

Janet Williams: Well you know things got out of hand. You know he just wanted to put too many nuts in it and I want pretzels and we had to have a showdown.

Captain Brien: Yeah just throw down after that. No nuts over pretzels what’s wrong with him?

Janet Williams: I don’t know.

Captain Brien: Pretzels he picked nuts over pretzels? What kind of nuts?

Janet Williams: Peanuts and cashews.

Captain Brien: No way if you told me something like pistachios or something I was thinking like alright maybe maybe he was going somewhere with it but peanuts? That’s like the bottom of the barrel.

Janet Williams: Thank you thank you.

Captain Brien: You don’t just throw peanuts in there. Were they peanut M&Ms?

Janet Williams: No but I love peanut M&Ms.

Captain Brien: You do? What’s your favorite flavor? Which one the yellow?

Janet Williams: Isn’t it the blue one that makes you horny?

Captain Brien: Oh.

Janet Williams: Or is it the red one?

Captain Brien: I don’t know I don’t know holy cow what’s that? That was a bale of hay a whole bale of hay right in the middle of the road.

Janet Williams: You may be from Boston but you know hay.

Captain Brien: I said holy hay.

Janet Williams: And let me tell you I didn’t ever know that you were from Boston, but I knew you weren’t very Southern.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Janet Williams: Yeah you can’t hide that.

Captain Brien: Well I’ve been down here for 20 years so did I lose the accent?

Janet Williams: No you haven’t even come close.

Captain Brien: That’s why I say chicken finga you know it’s not a finger its a finga.

Janet Williams: Right and I always think that I don’t sound that southern. Oh Randy says green and Mark says green, does that the one that makes you horny one the green? I didn’t know this.

Janet Williams: Yeah you gotta get out more.

Captain Brien: Yeah I don’t eat a lot of chocolate.

Janet Williams: Well you’re the work of the Devil.

Captain Brien: You know what they say about chocolate.

Janet Williams: What?

Captain Brien: It gives you the same hormone release as an orgasm so that’s why you never give women chocolate on a date for dessert because then she’s already satisfied.

Janet Williams: Well here’s the thing.

Captain Brien: So why do that?

Janet Williams: I really did not know that but I guess all these orgasms I’ve had are the family pack M&Ms.

Captain Brien: You’re giving away orgasms like it’s like it’s Mardi Gras.

Janet Williams: Right exactly.

Captain Brien: I hear ya I hear ya. You’re not shy about giving ’em out.

Janet Williams: Not in the least not in the least.

Captain Brien: Oh that’s good we got the cops on us, the cops are on us let’s turn the radar down. Not good for the Captain’s Log. We gotta just give it a little back roll.

Janet Williams: Wouldn’t it be great if we were pulled over?

Captain Brien: I keep saying that and here’s my theory, so I have the live on air sign right? It’s lit up no matter what if I get pulled over that sign’s going on, and they’d say, “Sir why do you have a sign on?” “Oh we’re live we’re on my show.” Do you think he’s going to give me a ticket if I do that? I think that’s my ticket out it’s the live on air sign.

Janet Williams: I think the ticket you’re going to get is when I tell him I’m not shutting my mouth until I get a pat down.

Captain Brien: Yeah that would not go well.

Janet Williams: There comes the ticket and you’ve gotta have an attitude about it.

Captain Brien: That could be handcuffs.

Janet Williams: Yes and that’s what I’m hoping for yeah.

Captain Brien: Oh.

Janet Williams: I miss the days of handcuffs.

Captain Brien: That could be fun that could be fun I can see where you’re going with this, and he’s in his little cop uniform. Yeah I’ll video it.

Janet Williams: I’ll let you video it. We’ll put it on a CD and sell it to everybody.

Captain Brien: That’s how we could make our next million.

Janet Williams: Yeah you get a free CD of me being patted down.

Captain Brien: A captain a cop and a tramp took a ride who ends up arrested?

Janet Williams: Right here’s the thing, we make it an attachment to the rum.

Captain Brien: That’s true.

Janet Williams: So not only do you get your fabulous rum you get the CD.

Captain Brien: That’s true.

Janet Williams: You need me on your planning team.

Captain Brien: That’s a giveaway like an extra giveaway.

Janet Williams: People will buy that rum and it will sit on the shelf, they’re going to want to see me patted down and then once they see me they’ll need the rum to get that out of their mind.

Captain Brien: Yeah. They’ll have to drink the whole thing and buy another one.

Janet Williams: You cannot un-see this you can’t un-see it.

Captain Brien: Well anyway guys if you want to see Janet Williams hey I promise him– You made me forget I was supposed to give away tickets. Did you share it?

Janet Williams: I did not.

Captain Brien: We did we screwed up the whole thing.

Janet Williams: Well you know we’re so intense when we’re together.

Captain Brien: Yeah so okay this is how we’re going to give away tickets, guys if you leave a comment below I’m going to post a promotional code that you can use. I’ll reply to every person with a promo code alright? You didn’t share it I forgot to give away the giveaway, this whole show has gone to hell in a hand-basket.

Janet Williams: It has but when you come to the show you’ll redeem yourself.

Captain Brien: Yes yes.

Janet Williams: Because you want to hear what The Tramp’s got to say.

Captain Brien: The Tramp is very funny.

Janet Williams: She is funny.

Captain Brien: She’s hysterical.

Janet Williams: Yeah and she’s a good time.

Captain Brien: Always. And maybe you just sign the breasts? Maybe we’ll let them sign your breasts now.

Janet Williams: Well you pointed here they’re closer to my knees.

Captain Brien: Gotcha. We’ll sign those down there that’s good that’s good. Aright guys leave a comment or share or whatever you want to do I’ll post a promo code you get two free tickets for tonight’s show or Sunday either one. For tonight and Sunday. Janet Williams a.k.a. The Tennessee Tramp, my guest on The Captain’s Log. This is episode two you know episode one, this is season two episode two. Did you know season one took 13 years to finish?

Janet Williams: Really?

Captain Brien: I think that’s a record.

Janet Williams: I think it is too.

Captain Brien: Yeah I think it’s a record.

Janet Williams: But I think two and two this is something special. Something big is going to happen definitely.

Captain Brien: Yeah you could have a baby on this show right now.

Janet Williams: Now that will make me extremely wealthy.

Captain Brien: That would be special that would be very special. Can you do something like lay an egg or something? It’s The Captain’s Log after all.

Janet Williams: If I could lay an egg you know at this point in my life I would eat it. And then you got the abortion people on you. You know so no I have no eggs they’re gone.

Captain Brien: We got nothing we got nothing.

Captain Brien: Well anyway we got you on stage at Off The Hook comedy club in Naples. Thank you so much thank you honey.

Janet Williams: Thank you Captain love you.

Captain Brien: Shake my hand even though I’m driving oh my god, I have another hand for the steering wheel, see I’m okay this one always stays on the shifter.

Janet Williams: Right you’re very safe very safe.

Captain Brien: We’re out guys be good.


S2:E1: New Season, Who Dis?



After 13 years here is season 2! Captain Brien and his guest from F-45 telling you their New year resolutions and how they plan on kicking a** in 2019!

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info. 

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!

Check out more about F-45 and show them some love at:

PODCAST RECAP

Miss something on one of our episodes of the #naplescaptainslog? Don’t worry we got you covered! Here you will find a full transcript from this episode of the #naplescaptainslog!

Captain Brien: Happy New Year, this is 2019, Season 2 finally for The Captain’s Log. I have Savannah and Valerie here from F45 in Naples, and we’re gonna talk about New Years Resolutions. We’re gonna see how we can kick some butt for 2019 and let’s go have a little ride on the Captain’s Log. Thank you for joining in. It only took 13 years to get through Season 1, and now we’re good. We’re good. We’re going with Season 2 now. So you’re the first guest, so you guys excited?

Valerie: Whoo!

Savannah: Super excited

Captain Brien: I know, my goodness. It’s like, amazing.

Captain Brien: So tell me about F45 because I did it. As you know, I probably struggled, but I did it last, what, Saturday. And they had the DJ, and it was – so tell us what it is.

Savannah: Yeah so F45 stands for functional. The F stands for functional, it’s a 45 minute workout. Um, it’s based out of Australia and it’s now just come to the States in the last couple years. Um so, basically we have our circuit training throughout our workouts, and we have functional exercises so obviously as you saw –

Captain Brien: Yeah because like, here’s the thing. I talked to Mike and I was like, ah I’m not really into like crossfit things. He said it’s not crossfit. For me it seemed like it was kinda crossfit. But tell me exactly what you guys think it is. What it is.

Savannah: So high intensity interval training mixed with cardio, resistance, and strength. So everything that we’re doing, you’re able to, all the exercises relate to your everyday life. So in crossfit when you’re doing certain exercises, you’re not going to be doing those type of crazy snatches or things like that.

Captain Brien: Ah. I understand now. Okay. I see what you’re saying.

Savannah: And you know, everyday life um, value of everyday life

Captain Brien: But in everyday life you’re not sitting there pumping up your biceps either, right? But it looks good. Girls like that though.

Savannah: It’s not for the superficial gain.

Captain Brien: It’s not?

Valerie: We are, its functional training so you are strengthening your core and your legs and your back.

Captain Brien: It kicked my butt, I’ll tell you that much. I’m still sore. And I run, like I don’t run but I ride my bike like 12 miles a day. I go to the gym, you know, three to six times a week. That one kicked my butt I have to tell ya. I have to tell ya but, I wasn’t going to give up, wasn’t gonna be like I’m not doing this. And then of course I get started on that one hour exercise. What’s the deal with it’s called F45 and you start me on an hour. What’s going on here?

Savannah: Yes it’s –

Captain Brien: What’s going on here? I think you set me up for failure.

Valerie: You did awesome.

Savannah: No you did awesome.

Valerie: You killed it.

Captain Brien: It was good, it was fun. I liked it a lot. So why on Saturdays an hour?

Savannah: It’s just our special Saturday workouts. We have the live DJ, we have our Hollywood session, we have 27 stations to go through, as you saw. So Saturdays are just our kick off the end of the week and really kill it the 60 minute workout.

Valerie: And it’s the cardio and the resistance mixed. It’s a hybrid workout.

Captain Brien: Oh so they’re all different, right? That’s the key with you guys, is that every time you go it’s supposed to be different.

Savannah:  Yes.

Valerie: You’ll never ever do the same workout twice.

Captain Brien: But the exercises vary, like, I’m sure there’s only so many exercises you can do, yeah?

Valerie: Yeah over 3,000.

Captain Brien: Yeah so I could do 3,000 next week. That’s easy.

Savannah: We’ll throw ’em all in for the one week.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Savannah: But its good on Monday, Wednesday, Friday, our workouts are more cardio based. So what you did on Saturday was a combination between resistance and cardio. So Monday, Wednesday, Friday you’ll come in, you’ll have more of a cardio based workout. Which means that you’re keeping your heart rate up for longer periods of time, less rest periods. That’s what that means.

Captain Brien: Oh okay. That’s fun. So like, the ones when you’re like hopping and doing the burpee things, are those called burpees?

Savannah: Burpees, so when your chest is to the ground and then you come up and do a jump, yeah. So those are burpees and then –

Captain Brien: So you do more stuff like that.

Savannah: On those three times throughout the week. Monday, Wednesday, Friday and then our Tuesday, Thursday and now Sundays, we have our more strength based. So it means more rest time, but more time under tension which means you’re holding your weight under tension so you’re slowly going in a deficit with a deadlift or whatever exercise you may be doing. You’re keeping your muscles engaged that entire work period and then you’re resting for a little bit more.

Valerie: And you’re gonna go heavier those days.

Captain Brien: Okay. And then so, there’s a whole program right, where you have an app and you can eat according to what you guys recommend and that kind of thing too, right?

Valerie: Yes. F45 Challenge App.

Captain Brien: F45 Challenge App. So where can they get more information now, what’s your website so they know if they wanna hop on?

Valerie: F45training.com/naples or F45training.com/corkscrew

Captain Brien: Alright. And then there’s three locations, right?

Savannah: Correct. So our first one is in Central Naples. So, off Pine Ridge Airport, the one that you were at, right in the Target shopping center. We have one open right now in Estero in the University Village, the new shopping area by FGCU.

Captain Brien: Oh yeah, I know right where that is.

Savannah: And then we have a third studio opening in early 2019 about March or April, and that will be in Tarpon Bay, which is off of Immokalee and 75.

Captain Brien: Very cool.

Savannah: Right next to the Panera.

Captain Brien: So how’d you guys get involved in this? How did you find out about it?

Savannah: Mike and Val, yeah, they found the program online.

Valerie: Actually we work out all the time together so we were doing cardio, we would do an hour of cardio in the morning together.

Captain Brien: And you just typed in Australian new thing. No come on, how did you figure?

Valerie: No. We would do it then we would work out for another hour and a half in the evenings, lifting weights. We were spending all our time in the studio and we were looking for something and someone said, someone from Colorado said well, F45s are everywhere out west cause they started in California and worked their way east.

Captain Brien: Okay.

Valerie: And they said check it out. Yes. And so I got online and it’s, you know, the two and a half hours condensed into 45 minutes is perfect. You’re building lean muscle mass, you’re raising your resting metabolic rate, you feel awesome, and you’re not spending half your day in a gym.

Captain Brien: Yeah. So for 2019 for everyone’s New Year resolution I’m sure everyone’s thinking go to the gym and get healthy. That’s the big thing.

Valerie: Yes absolutely.

Captain Brien: So what do you recommend that we start with?

Valerie: I recommend you come in and start going three times, at least three times per week. And if most people come in, they start, they’re like I’m gonna go a couple times and they get hooked and they come every single day. We have people that now come two times a day.

Captain Brien: They come two times a day? Those people are called unemployed or retired.

Valerie: They’re employed and actually a lot of them work physical jobs.

Captain Brien: Oh yeah. Wow. Okay. They’re addicted.

Valerie: So they are totally addicted. That’s what this is. It’s totally addictive.

Savannah: And the biggest thing is the sense of community. The trainers, you have two personal trainers in every class.

Captain Brien: Yeah it was fun, I got a couple of high fives.

Savannah: Yeah. High fives and obviously just that comradery you know, you’re always going to be in at the same time that works for your schedule. You know your trainers, you know us, and then the people that are in those classes. So you literally become a family.

Captain Brien: So how often are you there?

Savannah: I’m there every single day.

Captain Brien: Every day?

Savannah: Both of our studios. Our trainers rotate between both of our studios right now and then we will go to the third one. Yeah, we’ll always be in the studio, always have a smiling face.

Captain Brien: And what did you do before F45? Because this is how long now you guys have been doing this?

Valerie: We opened up in August 28th.

Captain Brien: Okay. Okay cool. So before that were you also a trainer?

Savannah: Yeah. I was a personal trainer and group fitness trainer at Missouri State. I had just graduated college. So yeah. So after college I moved down here and then yeah, found Mike and Val and helped them open. We did boot camps first before the studios were open so we were, you know, getting our name out there, getting people involved and then we would open our doors.

Captain Brien: Were you guys doing it outside or something?

Valerie: Yep.

Captain Brien: I love that. Yes. I saw that. That was cute.

Valerie: Yeah that’s where it started.

Captain Brien: So how hard was it, I do a lot on entrepreneurial stuff. I do different, they start different businesses, I talk to entrepreneurs all day, all night. So you just started this from scratch but you guys obviously got the rights for the franchise, correct?

Valerie: Right.

Captain Brien: So you’re the franchisee?

Valerie: Correct.

Captain Brien: And how’s that working with them?

Valerie: They’re wonderful.

Captain Brien: Yeah. Because I’ve heard great stories. Some people have had great experiences, some people are like basically we bought the name, and we’re on our own. But it seems like they have a lot right? So how many other franchises are there?

Valerie: Well we are in 32 countries worldwide and 1,400, is it 1,400 worldwide?

Savannah: At least that many.

Captain Brien: Wow so yeah. So obviously they pretty much have their game on like, you sign up you do all your stuff and then they do the rest, yes?

Valerie: Yes and they’re constantly improving all of our systems and adding things. We have three apps. We have the app for the classes, book yourself in, we have the F45 life app, you track how your performance is during your sessions,

Captain Brien: You’re gonna have to scream to reach the microphone.

Valerie: Oh I’m sorry.

Captain Brien: Oh its okay. You’re not talking to me, you’re talking to the world. Yeah. You yelled at me enough, I get to yell at you now. All Saturday I got yelled at. Come on, we’re going to the next one, next one. Now she wants to be quiet back there.

Valerie: Yeah. F45 life, it says you went and worked out this many times this week and this is how well you did. The F45 Challenge that gives you your meals for the week, your shopping list.

Captain Brien: Give me an idea of what they feed you different. What’s their philosophy, I want to know.

Valerie: Its not different, it’s just the way that the macros are. So you’re eating lasagna, you’re eating hamburgers, you’re eating steak, it’s just everything is made in a more healthy way and we spice things up. So it’s very flavorful.

Captain Brien: But what, they cut dairy, they cut carbs?

Valerie: Yeah. We eat almond milk instead of, but we still eat eggs, no cheese, just a little bit of cheese. We actually do get a little bit of cheese.

Captain Brien: I love cheese. That one gets me worse than sugar. No sugar I’m sure right?

Valerie: Yeah but you don’t miss it. You really don’t when you start eating –

Captain Brien: No I get it, yeah.

Savannah: When there’s like so many different recipes on the app that you can always you know, mix and match and at least, the biggest thing is within the fitness industry, you just want to get people in good routines. That’s what we’re focusing on so, you know obviously we’re not going to come to you and change your entire lifestyle and everything that you eat on the first day. We just want to give you those –

Captain Brien: You’re waiting for the second.

Savannah: No, not the second day. We want to give you just, pointers. Maybe take this out and try it with this. Substitute this and that. That’s where we’re starting, just to create those lifelong, long term progress, and what you do habitually. So that’s the biggest thing with the challenge and the trainers, we have a team. We have eight trainers so we’re stationed off to have you know, 10 to 15 clients for the challenge which we’ll talk about starting February 2nd. If you come in and you’re a member with us, you’re automatically within, you’re able to be included in this eight week challenge and that helps. You have a trainer specifically assigned to you. So we’ll be, you know, following you up. Okay you just came in and did an awesome workout. That’s awesome, glad you did but what are you eating after? How are you recovering, you know, successfully? Are you stretching, how are you meal prepping, what are you cooking with? So you’ll have someone to hold you accountable.

Captain Brien: I hate meal prepping. You know why? Because I don’t eat leftovers.

Savannah: Okay so you don’t have to meal prep. As long as you have, you know, fresh cut veggies in your fridge so there’s no excuses why you’re not eating well.

Captain Brien: Okay I need to get veggies. I have a lot of fruit.

Savannah: You know your lean meats, everything set in your house all ready to prepare, so that when you do get home late you know from work, you already have healthy food in your fridge to grab and to eat and cook.

Captain Brien: Okay so what did you eat today so far?

Savannah: I have a protein shake in the morning. I do morning classes, we just taught four classes. And then, I just, I do a protein shake and almonds in the morning obviously. It starts your metabolism and then you know, you can stay up higher in fat loss. That’s personally what I do. My body works off that, but then I’ll add in carbs.

Captain Brien: Like what? Well, gee, come on spill the beans. It’s 2019.

Savannah: I had a muffin coming over here.

Captain Brien: See? Did you have a protein muffin or like a regular muffin?

Savannah: No just a normal muffin, we jumped over here. But that’s my carb source so as long as you can see nutrition in the sense of what you’re eating, your overall calories that you’re consuming is you know, your full caloric intake. So obviously we’re into fitness but nutrition does play into a part. So you know, as long as you’re eating less than you’re expending, you know, that’s how you’re going to be in a caloric deficit. You know, if you do want weight loss, if it’s your main goal, or fat loss.

Captain Brien: Now, in college what did you study?

Savannah: Agriculture and communications, yeah.

Captain Brien: And so you’re doing well with that?

Savannah: I’m well within agriculture now but in fitness now it all relates, all correlates, nutrition and everything.

Captain Brien: So I studied psychology and criminal justice of which I’ve never used any of it.

Savannah: See most people don’t.

Captain Brien: Yeah although, this is kind of like what I talk to people, I guess I kinda, a little psychology.

Savannah: Use it a little bit.

Captain Brien: Yeah but its, yeah. As long as you’re out there doing something you love, you don’t have to like, focus on your major always. I don’t feel like that. I feel like the thing that’s most important is that you get up every day and you’re happy to do it. So working out, like, is the same way right? You see the most results when people really are into it. It’s not a chore. Who wants to hate it?

Valerie: Nobody comes in and hates it and I mean honestly, we have people that come in and they leave halfway through.

Captain Brien: Oh really?

Valerie: Oh yeah. A lot. But they come back.

Captain Brien: Listen. I had to say that I was shocked that people just walk in and do that one hour workout like I did.

Valerie: Well they do, but some of them spend half the time in the bathroom.

Captain Brien: I don’t think, yeah. I would assume. I was like you gotta be kidding me, there’s no way that like, I’m looking around like these people must be doing this all the time because there’s no way they would be able to hang.

Savannah: Yeah and that’s the best thing. Once people are coming back you know, every day, or at least three to four times a week, they get in their routine you know? They’re able to rest during their rest time and get to the next station instead of thinking that ten seconds of rest just means you’re sitting there. You’re resting while getting to that next station. So you still have to move, it’s just the habit.

Captain Brien: Understood. Yeah because I really surprised. I was like this is pretty hard.

Valerie: Honestly Brien, what a lot of people tell me is if everybody wasn’t around me, I would have quit but I kept going because that lady beside me wasn’t quitting so I’m not quitting. And that’s how you build your cardiovascular, that’s how you build your strength. You get mind over matter.

Captain Brien: And when you have people like you guys pushing everyone along and then its like, the timing thing, it really is like, it was pushing and pushing and pushing because I’ll be honest. When I work out, yeah I’m not working out that hard myself. Who does? Like you gotta be a crazy person. Be in the gym and doing all that in front of people? In your situation, its fun because it’s exciting.

Valerie: We’re all doing it together.

Captain Brien: Yeah I agree.

Savannah: And then ill just say to this question. Yes it’s for males and females. We highly suggest, we try to market it as best we can as athletic conditioning, strength training, it’s not a, what do they call it? Like an all girls –

Captain Brien: Its not like an aerobics class.

Valerie: It’s not jazzercise.

Savannah:Not not at all. There’s just as many males as females on our roster. You know just, yeah, because a lot of places are just for females and no. It’s for everybody.

Captain Brien: And then, what about like, the person who can’t do like, they’re not going to be jumping down doing burpees and all that kind of stuff. Some people I’m sure physically can’t do it. They have back pain or whatever. So what do you do?

Valerie: That’s the number one difference between, it’s a huge difference between crossfit and us. We don’t focus or demand everybody do the Olympic style movement. We have a modification and an option for anybody.

Captain Brien: Oh you didn’t give me that option. You just said –

Valerie: Oh you’re fine, you can do it.

Captain Brien: Oh yeah of course, you’re just going right in. I went gold medal style or something.

Savannah: The biggest thing we push is you know, when everyone comes in we introduce ourselves, we look for new members, and then we always ask does anyone have any injuries or certain things that they aren’t capable of? So before the workout even starts we have conversations with these people. Is your knee hurting you, what can you do? So then throughout the circuit, we will be able to go with them and personal train them and say oh I know that you have this issue, why don’t you try this exercise instead of what everyone else is doing and tailor it specifically for each person. So that’s the biggest thing when you’re coming in –

Captain Brien: The thing that I always worried about is like, my god I don’t know how to do all these exercises. But the funny thing is, is like, I was like how do these people know how to do all these exercises? And then it just kinda came natural. I don’t know how I figured it out.

Savannah: You’re watching us demo –

Captain Brien: Yeah you guys like showed me how to do everything and I was like alright I could do this for like how long is each one?

Savannah: The 45 minute workout or?

Captain Brien: Yeah each set was, how long was that? It was timed.

Savannah: For that it was 45 seconds.

Captain Brien: 45 seconds right and then you get 15 seconds rest to the next place. Not rest, sit there. You’ve got to go to the next little thing.

Savannah: Right and the biggest thing that I think is obviously there’s so much value in F45. And when you come in everybody, you’ll understand that. When you do come in, you’ll realize that there’s two people only focused on the members. So we’re not doing the exercise along with you. We’re not tired, we’re just focusing on our members. Making sure you have proper form, that’s the biggest thing for people who –

Captain Brien: Yeah a couple times you gave me some good pointers.

Savannah: You know people are so worried about going into a big corporate gym and not doing it correctly. Well don’t worry, we are there literally showing you how to do it correctly and safely, that’s our biggest thing is to do this exercise properly and efficiently so you’re not wasting your time.

Captain Brien: Well for 2019, I think we’re gonna all have health on our mind and physical fitness, and you guys are great. I appreciate you coming on The Captain’s Log.

Savannah: Thanks for having us.

Captain Brien: Thanks so much, I appreciate it and I’m looking forward to F45. Guys we’re going to drop the comments below with the website information and how you can sign up or you can learn more about it, and go and check it out and have some fun like I did. Because I’ll be back and I had a great time.

Savannah: Follow us on Facebook, on Instagram.

Captain Brien: Yeah what is that? What’s your Instagram?

Savannah: F45_training_naples and then obviously for the corkscrew is the other one. We do do a two week free trial for all new members. We’d love to have you come in. 14 days, no contract, just literally for free two full weeks. Give us a call, 239-601-4006 and we’d love to get you signed in.

Captain Brien: What’s the phone number again?

Savannah: 239-601-4006

Captain Brien: Awesome there you go guys. This is the Captain’s Log, Season 2, Episode 1. It’s a wrap. we will be back tomorrow, thanks for watching. Hey like it and share it if you had a good time, if you didn’t, don’t tell anybody it wasn’t fun. Bye.


Season 1 Episode 101: The Captain’s Log with Emma Willmann and Captain Brien Blindfolded!



On this episode of the #captainslog Captain Brien and the super funny Emma Willmann! See how well Captain Brien can do driving with a blindfold!

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!


Season 1 Episode 97: The Captain’s Log recreating a Michelin Chef 5 Star Cocolate Chip Cookie Recipe!



On this episode of the #captainslog Brien and Will Spina try to recreate the chocolate chip cookie. This recipe was rated 5 star by a Michelin Chef! Let see if Brien and Will can live up to the expectation! comment below your favorite cookie!

Watch full video here ————>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qs4Kx9JrFqQ&t=6s

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!


Season 1 Episode 85: The Captain’s Log with Captain Brien and Mitch Green on their way to grub!



On this episode of the #naplescaptainslog watch Captain Brien and his special guest Mitch Green go to a charity barbecue! He is also the owner of the Coffee Bar 239!

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.

Watch full video at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J99ZCj93iso&t=41s

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!