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Episode 265 It’s Tom Green, not Green Tom!

The man, the myth, the legendary Tom Green joins this episode of the #naplescaptainslog to tell us about his career and his most recent project, his new album! You can purchase his new album on a green vinyl or find it on apple music!

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Watch Full Video —————> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QsD2DUObEAs

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Miss something on one of our episodes of the #naplescaptainslog? Don’t worry we got you covered! Here you will find a full transcript from this episode of the #naplescaptainslog!

Captain Brien: We could do it. Let’s do it, guys. The Captain’s Log with Tom Green.

Tom Green: Oh my God, yeah.

Captain Brien: Hey, we are live.

Tom Green: Yeah, what about that camera?

Captain Brien: This one, let’s turn them all on.

Tom Green: You’ve got so many cameras, Captain Brien.

Captain Brien: We’re gonna turn everything on and go live.

Tom Green: Captain Brien’s got so many cameras. I don’t know which one to look at.

Captain Brien: Do you like it?

Tom Green: I like it. I’m not gonna look at any of the cameras.

Captain Brien: You’re not gonna look.

Tom Green: Because I don’ want to look like I’m looking at the wrong camera.

Captain Brien: No, no, of course not.

Tom Green: This time I’m gonna look around at stuff. Not gonna look at any of the cameras because I don’t want to look like I’m looking at the wrong camera, so I’m just going to look around at stuff.

Captain Brien: Yeah, don’t look at anything.

Tom Green: I said that twice.

Captain Brien: We need gas today though. Today’s the first time I think I might have to get gas live on The Log.

Tom Green: Have you ever run out of gas on The Captain’s Log?

Captain Brien: On The Log? No, that would not be fun. I haven’t done much driving tactics on The Log, mostly just driving.

Tom Green: Yeah.

Captain Brien: Not a lot of, I haven’t gotten pulled over.

Tom Green: Yeah.

Captain Brien: Thank God I haven’t gotten in an accident.

Tom Green: Yeah.

Captain Brien: Mostly just driving.

Tom Green: That’s cool.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Tom Green: I’ve watched the show quite a bit.

Captain Brien: Well I appreciate that. You know what’s funny is of course–

Tom Green: It’s my favorite show.

Captain Brien: It’s your favorite?

Tom Green: I can’t believe I’m on this. I feel like I’m doing Letterman right now, for the first time.

Captain Brien: Well speaking of–

Tom Green: I’m a little nervous.

Captain Brien: You are now doing a Larry King.

Tom Green: Yes, yeah.

Captain Brien: Which is amazing.

Tom Green: I’m guest hosting Larry King Now.

Captain Brien: Larry King Now.

Tom Green: Which is on Hulu and Ora TV, and it’s been really cool and I’ve gotten to do multiple episodes of the show, 10 episodes we’ve done already, and I think we’re going to be doing more.

Captain Brien: Do they release all of them at once?

Tom Green: No, they kind of been coming out–

Captain Brien: The come out like daily or weekly?

Tom Green: Yep, a few a week, yeah.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Tom Green: Daily I think, yep.

Captain Brien: That’s cool.

Tom Green: Yeah, so.

Captain Brien: And how, how’s the studio? Is it like a big production thing or–

Tom Green: Yeah.

Captain Brien: Is it, I mean, it’s legit, like, it’s like–

Tom Green: Larry King Studios. It’s amazing, yeah, it’s incredible. That’s what’s cool about it ’cause I’ve done home made broadcasts, kind of like this, where I hooked up a bunch of cameras and done web shows and things. But it’s cool to be able to go down there and have like a full state of the art television studio.

Captain Brien: Speaking of which, Josh Pray is on there right now.

Tom Green: Yeah.

Captain Brien: Josh, what’s up buddy.

Tom Green: Oh yeah, you can see people.

Captain Brien: We’re gonna do a little deal with Tom Green this week. I told them we’re going to get hooked up.

Tom Green: Yeah.

Captain Brien: Yeah, so this–

Tom Green: Oh Josh Pray’s your friend you were telling me about.

Captain Brien: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Tom Green: Who’s got millions of followers.

Captain Brien: Yeah, he’s my boy, so we’re gonna hook it up.

Tom Green: Hey Josh, can you tell your followers to go look at my YouTube channel? I posted two new music videos this week.

Captain Brien: And how you gonna rap? You rap about your new song.

Tom Green: Yeah, I have a new song. We just world premiered it. We just played it on 105.5.

Captain Brien: Five, yeah, The Beat.

Tom Green: The Beat, it’s called–

Captain Brien: And the name of the song is?

Tom Green: I want to be friends with Drake.

Captain Brien: I love that.

Tom Green: I want to be friends with Drake.

Captain Brien: I Love that. That, that kind of is everybody’s.

Tom Green: Yeah.

Captain Brien: Song.

Tom Green: Yeah.

Captain Brien: That’s their theme song.

Tom Green: Yeah.

Captain Brien: Who doesn’t?

Tom Green: Who doesn’t like Drake?

Captain Brien: What’s the, what’s the beat, your favorite line in the song?

Tom Green: In my song?

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Tom Green: I think it’s, “I know you said “no new friends homie but that’s exactly who I am.”

Captain Brien: I was, I was looking at beat, but I love the photography that you did, the footage of the video. They have to go your Tom Green, not on your Facebook, I’m sorry, on your YouTube because you have the video, and you shot it all across Asia, right?

Tom Green: Yeah, so I’m here doing–

Captain Brien: Which I love.

Tom Green: I’m here in Florida doing stand up comedy at Off The Hook this weekend, and I’m touring all the time, but I was in Asia a few weeks ago, did a three week tour throughout the continent of Asia, Hong Kong, Thailand, Vietnam, Singapore, Philippines and China, Shanghai, China. And so we shot three music videos over there actually.

Captain Brien: Wow.

Tom Green: Two of which have just been premiered. There’s a second video up on the website also.

Captain Brien: What I love about all the stuff you do, it’s so organic, like everything you post is just stuff that you create, your content. It’s original for you. And you were like one of the first guys to even do that, period.

Tom Green: Yeah, I was into skateboarding videos when I was a teenager, and I remember seeing skateboarding videos, Tony Hawk.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Tom Green: Who I just interviewed on Larry King Now. Who is now a friend of mine but I was, he was my idol when I was growing up. And part of the reason was ’cause I just, not only ’cause I loved watching the skateboarding but I loved watching the videos they would make. And that was the first time I remembered ever seeing like videos that weren’t made by a major television network.

Captain Brien: Right.

Tom Green: And you know how the world’s changed, right, now everybody’s making videos themselves and posting on Facebook, so we’re used to seeing raw, guerrilla kind of content now. But back in the 80s, right, that was just so rare to see anything that was, and to me it was appealing to me because you felt like you were seeing something you weren’t really supposed to see.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Tom Green: It wasn’t run through a corporation, a series of checks and balances, and you get the sanitized show. It was like a lot of, you know, there used to be this video called Faces of Death, that people would watch. It was on a VHS, people would hand it around. And it was like crazy, like, “Oh a guy jumps “out of a plane, his parachute doesn’t open “and he lands in a pit of alligators.” Probably was all fake, but it felt real.

Captain Brien: Right, there is some like–

Tom Green: I don’t like to date myself and sound really old or whatever but I’m 47 years old, you know.

Captain Brien: You’re not old.

Tom Green: Yeah, I remember, but you know I’m, if you’re 20 though, 47 is really old, right.

Captain Brien: Right.

Tom Green: So if you’re 20, that sounds really old. When a 20 year old hears somebody talking about how they remember the world before cell phones.

Captain Brien: Before the internet.

Tom Green: Before the internet, before reality TV.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Tom Green: That’s like when we were kids, hearing somebody talking about like how grandma didn’t used to have electricity.

Captain Brien: Right, it is, it is.

Tom Green: And you’d be thinking like, “Wow, my grandma’s old, she didn’t have electricity.”

Captain Brien: How does that happen.

Tom Green: It’s almost probably weirder to imagine the world without the internet and cellphones for a young person today because we’re so consumed by them, you know.

Captain Brien: What I find absolutely amazing, is that when it’s as new as like, “Oh iTunes, like you didn’t remember iTunes?” And I’m like, that’s not that old.

Tom Green: Yeah.

Captain Brien: YouTube is 12 years old. It’s not that old.

Tom Green: Yeah, isn’t that crazy?

Captain Brien: But like my kids, they don’t understand, like.

Tom Green: YouTube, this thing we’re on now, it’s 12 years old.

Captain Brien: Yeah, right, it’s amazing.

Tom Green: Yeah, it’s amazing.

Captain Brien: It really is.

Tom Green: Rome Marriquin.

Captain Brien: Brian Fox. I got some friends in Wakefield.

Tom Green: Shelly Misorowski.

Captain Brien: Back in the High School Days, Wakefield Mass in the house, when Tom Green was hitting it big time.

Tom Green: All right.

Captain Brien: All fans, all fans of your show, not to mention fans right now. So how did you know like–

Tom Green: Doroda Blair is watching.

Captain Brien: It wasn’t a thing to record people.

Tom Green: Jeremy.

Captain Brien: And do funny videos and like, how did you know that was going to be okay? Like you could just do it. You were just hoping? Or did you feel like, “Hey I’m going to make something out of this.” ‘Cause you really went in full. I mean, you started doing it like.

Tom Green: Yeah I went to school for broadcasting. I was a huge David Letterman fan. Loved Late Night with David Letterman and The Late Show, and loved when he would go out in the street and I loved when he’d do things that were kind of edgy, like you know, go out and yell at people with his megaphone out of his office at people in the street, or deliver a fruit basket to the you know, CEO of GE or whatever. So it was like a, you know, it was something I was sort of a huge fan of. And I just thought, I want to try to do sort of a guerrilla version of that.

Captain Brien: Okay.

Tom Green: A non-networked version of that. And you know, like I was a man of traditional comedy. I loved SCTV and Monty Python and Saturday Night Live and funny movies and comedians and stuff. So I was aware that there was sort of a mainstream way of doing things, and then there was the skateboard video way of doing things. So I tried to kind of combine the two and you know I did pursue trying to get the show picked up by MTV. I mean, we did the show for years in Canada. We were on a small network in Canada.

Captain Brien: Right.

Tom Green: First before MTV. Started on Public Access, did the show for free for years, several years.

Captain Brien: People don’t get that that leads to so many things sometimes.

Tom Green: Yeah.

Captain Brien: You know, putting in the time, putting in the energy and making something out of nothing, and then you built enough that it has value.

Tom Green: The Captain’s Log could easily be–

Captain Brien: Correct, like look at this show, dammit.

Tom Green: On CBS someday.

Captain Brien: That’s right. I’m doing it for free.

Tom Green: Some day we’ll be watching this on CBS, Captain Brien on the Captain’s Log. Late night, CBS late night, right after Steven Colbert comes on, The Captain’s Log.

Captain Brien: You do inspire me for that.

Tom Green: And you’ll say, “You know I did this show “for free for awhile.”

Captain Brien: Because I’ve been doing this now for quite a long time. People say, “Well why do you do it, man?” Well it’s, number one, I like to document everything that we have going on in life.

Tom Green: Yeah.

Captain Brien: All them cool people like yourself that I meet.

Tom Green: Yeah.

Captain Brien: I mean, it’s not like, I may not have this opportunity if I didn’t have a comedy club or if I didn’t have this, the ability to turn on the cameras and just roll with it.

Tom Green: This is the new business model for show business, right, you have a comedy club, you’re selling tickets. People are watching. Presumably some of these amazing people are going to come down to the comedy club.

Captain Brien: That’s right, yes.

Tom Green: Tonight, Friday, Saturday, Sunday night in Naples, Off The Hook Comedy.

Captain Brien: To see the famous Tom Green.

Tom Green: Come on down. I’m doing six shows. And so you know, that’s the revenue model now, right. You know, we’re selling tickets here.

Captain Brien: We are.

Tom Green: It’s interesting you know, like like people sort of, who don’t do standup, who are in the entertainment business, don’t really think I think about the show business model the same way.

Captain Brien: Right.

Tom Green: Once you start doing standup, you really think of it differently.

Captain Brien: Because you’re with the people.

Tom Green: Yeah.

Captain Brien: And I think that’s also why that they’re casting so many comedians in movies these days too, because they’re actually, it’s almost like a rock star, right, where you go out and you have a concert tour because you released an album.

Tom Green: Yeah.

Captain Brien: What other, it’s not like Tom Cruise is touring around theaters, saying, “Hey everybody, come watch my movie.”

Tom Green: Yeah, although I would go to that show.

Captain Brien: I would too.

Tom Green: That would be cool.

Captain Brien: It’d be a very good show.

Tom Green: Tom Cruise started doing standup, I would be the first in line. I would love to see that. And he’d probably be really good too.

Captain Brien: I bet.

Tom Green: He’s obviously a great performer.

Captain Brien: Charismatic.

Tom Green: Yeah, absolutely. But you know, you know, Tom Cruise–

Captain Brien: You ever meet him?

Tom Green: I never met him but he went to my school. He lived in Ottawa for awhile when he was in Canada.

Captain Brien: Really.

Tom Green: Yeah, his dad was in the US Navy. And he actually, rumor has it, we were, he lived on the same street that I lived on when I grew up, where I grew up.

Captain Brien: Wow.

Tom Green: But I’ve never had the opportunity to run into Tom Cruise and ask him about that.

Captain Brien: Who would you want to meet?

Tom Green: Well I’ve met David Letterman but I would love to interview David Letterman, ’cause you know.

Captain Brien: ‘Cause of the beards now? ‘Cause you look alike?

Tom Green: Just ’cause I have a million questions for him and was just such an inspiration to me and I look up to him, so it’d be cool to be able to interview him and do that. Who have I not met that I would like to meet? I’ve met, I was doing a bit recently, I was sort of screwing around with like audience recently in one of my shows.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Tom Green: And you know, the bit is that basically, I’ve basically met everybody except Tom Cruise. I basically met everybody.

Captain Brien: And Drake.

Tom Green: And so like name, yeah.

Captain Brien: Wait did you meet Drake?

Tom Green: No, I haven’t met Drake.

Captain Brien: But he’s coming soon.

Tom Green: But I mean, not to play celebrity name dropping here on Captain Brien’s, The Log, but name somebody, I’ll tell you whether or not I’ve met them or not.

Captain Brien: Howard Stern.

Tom Green: Met him, yes, yes, I’ve been on–

Captain Brien: Good guy?

Tom Green: Yeah, good, great guy.

Captain Brien: That’s probably one of the only guys I want to meet.

Tom Green: Been on his show.

Captain Brien: I want to meet him.

Tom Green: Yeah. Howard Stern phoned my on my cellphone a couple of times, and we had private, off-radio conversations.

Captain Brien: Very cool.

Tom Green: He was always very supportive. Okay, who else?

Captain Brien: Females, let’s see.

Tom Green: Anybody, name anybody.

Captain Brien: How about–

Tom Green: I’ve met everybody.

Tom Green: I’ve been living in Hollywood for 20 years.

Captain Brien: Cindy Crawford, Cindy Crawford?

Tom Green: Never met her.

Captain Brien: Ah, see.

Tom Green: Never met her, no.

Captain Brien: do you care to meet her?

Tom Green: Yeah. I would like to meet her. I would like to meet everybody. I like everybody.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Tom Green: Okay but seriously I’ve met everybody. Name someone, I’ve met them. Other than Tom Cruise and Cindy Crawford.

Captain Brien: Let’s see, how about–

Tom Green: And then I’ll tell you a little, a brief story about–

Captain Brien: About, about everyone.

Tom Green: About where we met and how we met, yeah.

Captain Brien: Did you ever meet Barbara Streisand?

Tom Green: Never met her, but I did see her in a restaurant once.

Captain Brien: Joan Rivers.

Tom Green: Joan Rivers I have met. She was amazingly supportive of me. We were on The Celebrity Apprentice together. She won that season. Also I did her show In Bed With Joan, so I actually know her–

Captain Brien: Oh you did that? I thought that was a great show.

Tom Green: Yeah, it was kind of like this.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Tom Green: I’m glad I’m not in bed with you right now.

Captain Brien: Yeah, well we have, let’s not, let’s not lie to the camera. It’s been in the past, I mean.

Tom Green: Yeah, we don’t want to talk about that.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Tom Green: But yeah, I love Joan, and she was an incredible legend.

Captain Brien: She really was.

Tom Green: Okay, next.

Captain Brien: I don’t know. Who was the person that you’re most proud that you met?

Tom Green: The proudest person to have met?

Captain Brien: Yeah. Or the most inspiring person.

Tom Green: Probably Letterman.

Captain Brien: Letterman, yeah.

Tom Green: That was the most exciting moment for me, when I got asked to be a guest on his show. And then I got to guest host his show once too actually.

Captain Brien: Oh wow.

Tom Green: Guest hosted Letterman once as well. So that was probably for me a big deal. But you know, it’s, it’s cool. I am sort of a big fan of so much comedy and films and television, so I do get a little bit of a thrill–

Captain Brien: Do you?

Tom Green: Out of meeting people, yeah, I get that.

Captain Brien: I didn’t actually expect that.

Tom Green: I get nervous when I know I’m going to interview someone that I’ve never interviewed before. I get nervous if I have to go to a-

Captain Brien: More nervous than being on The Captain’s Log or less?

Tom Green: More nervous.

Captain Brien: Way more.

Tom Green: More nervous, yes.

Captain Brien: Wow, shocking, shocking.

Tom Green: On the scale of nervousness from one to 10 right now, I’m at around a two.

Captain Brien: A two.

Tom Green: Yeah.

Captain Brien: I really bring the best out of you.

Tom Green: Well I’m still a little nervous though.

Captain Brien: It could be, it could be a point five.

Tom Green: Yeah, exactly, yeah.

Captain Brien: I know, I know, so that’s good, that’s good. I’m feel good about that.

Tom Green: Yeah.

Captain Brien: Now that he’s put it in perspective.

Tom Green: Yeah.

Captain Brien: So what do you think–

Tom Green: Let’s put it this way though, when I’m going to sleep at night, I’m about a three.

Captain Brien: Thanks. You didn’t have to throw that in. We didn’t have to add that part at all.

Tom Green: No, I get, I have a lot of anxiety, so, ’cause you’re sort of keeping my mind occupied right now. I’m actually a little less nervous than I would be.

Captain Brien: So I put you at ease.

Tom Green: When I got to sleep, I’m like, oh my God, yeah, am I going to have a heart attack in my sleep?

Captain Brien: If you need me to cuddle tonight.

Tom Green: Am I going to wake up in the morning?

Captain Brien: If you need me to come over to cuddle.

Tom Green: Yeah.

Captain Brien: To put you to sleep like this, I’m happy to do that.

Tom Green: Yeah, okay. Yeah I know you’ve got some stuff you gotta do, so.

Captain Brien: I want to make sure that you’re comfortable here in Florida.

Tom Green: Yeah, no, it’s fine. Everything’s fine.

Captain Brien: Six big shows, Off The Hook Comedy Club.

Tom Green: Yeah, yeah.

Captain Brien: How could they find you on Instagram? You’re at Tom Green, right?

Tom Green: Tom Green on Instagram.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Tom Green: Tom Green Live on Twitter. And I’m on Facebook. But go to Instagram first because I’m on there the most.

Captain Brien: You’re the most relevant there. You’re posting stuff all of the time.

Tom Green: I like it more. I like it more.

Captain Brien: Yeah, yeah.

Tom Green: I like the pictures. I read the comments. But I’m on YouTube also, my YouTube channel. So come find me.

Captain Brien: So come out with Tom.

Tom Green: Kevin Brasie is watching.

Captain Brien: Kevin Brasie, yeah, Wakefield.

Tom Green: Oh Brasie, I’m sorry.

Captain Brien: My homie from Wakefield.

Tom Green: The French pronunciation.

Captain Brien: And then Bob, Boston Bob and Brad.

Tom Green: Kevin Brasie.

Captain Brien: All kinds of people watching today, saying hello to Tom Green.

Tom Green: Hey everybody.

Captain Brien: They’re star struck Tom, star struck, like me.

Tom Green: So glad to see you guys. Please come out and see me tonight. And I actually have my album for sale too, at the show, a vinyl record.

Captain Brien: You do have a vinyl record.

Tom Green: Printed on green vinyl. And I have a few copies available.

Captain Brien: I need to get, I’ll trade you a signed vinyl for a signed bottle of Captain Brien’s Vodka.

Tom Green: Oh my God, that’s amazing.

Captain Brien: Is that a good deal?

Tom Green: Yeah, that’s a good deal.

Captain Brien: That’s a barter.

Tom Green: That’s amazing.

Captain Brien: That’s a win for both of us.

Tom Green: Absolutely.

Captain Brien: All right guys, this is The Captain’s Log. This is my friend, Tom Green. It’s been a pleasure, buddy.

Tom Green: Thank you.

Captain Brien: Listen, I always appreciate you coming.

Tom Green: Thank you.

Captain Brien: To the Club.

Tom Green: Thank you.

Captain Brien: One of my favorites. It’s been many years now we’re working together.

Tom Green: Yeah. How many? Like almost 10 years.

Captain Brien: Almost 10 years. And for me, it’s an honor and it’s exciting. You guys are going to get a great show. Off The Hook Comedy Club, Tom Green. This is The Captain’s Log. Thanks for watching guys. Have a good day, be the best. And I’m out.

Tom Green: Peace.

Captain Brien: Later.

Episode 219 The Captain’s Log with Comedian Jon Rudnitsky and Captain Brien!

Comedian and SNL Star Jon Rudnitsky joins Captain Brien to discuss his beginning at the Montreal Comedy Festival, what it’s like being on SNL, and the two even discuss waxing male parts!

Siri can now help you listen to your favorite podcasts! Say things like “play The Captains Log” or “play my newest podcasts.” You can also ask Siri about the podcast that is currently playing and request to be subscribed! Just tell Siri “subscribe to this show!”

Watch Full Video —————>  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBkH0SaZb8k&t=211s

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!

Check Comedian Jon Rudnitsky out and show him some love at:

  • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jon.rudnitsky
  • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jonrudnitsky


Miss something on one of our episodes of the #naplescaptainslog? Don’t worry we got you covered! Here you will find a full transcript from this episode of the #naplescaptainslog!

Jon Rudnitsky: I’m hopeful.

Captain Brien: We’re live! It’s the Captain’s Log. Jon Rudnitsky. How ya doin’ buddy?

Jon Rudnitsky: Hey good.

Captain Brien:That was my hardest part of the whole day, sayin’ the name.

Jon Rudnitsky:: And getting the live stream to work here.

Captain Brien: Okay let’s do that before I drive away, we don’t want to drive away and then not have you on there.

Jon Rudnitsky: Let me get it live on my Facebook as well.

Captain Brien: So how was the flight, man?

Jon Rudnitsky: The flight was fantastic, I was asleep for most of it.

Captain Brien: Really?

Jon Rudnitsky: That was ideal. Is everything alright with the camera?

Captain Brien: Everything’s good. On that one I probably just ran out of batteries.

Jon Rudnitsky: Okay.

Captain Brien: But that’s okay, we like to stream live, I have that as a backup.

Jon Rudnitsky: Oh, perfect.

Captain Brien: And then we do it, you know? We’ll see where we’re at. The flight came in late though, yeah?

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah, I mean I’m comin’ from LA to get to, where are we? Basking?

Captain Brien: You’re in Bonita Springs we’re in Naples, Florida.

Jon Rudnitsky: Naples. And happy to be in Naples, I knew I was in Naples I was testing you ahhh.

Captain Brien: That was the thing, yeah, you were just

Jon Rudnitsky: It’s a second shirt. It’s a it’s a schlep to get from LA to here.

Captain Brien: There’s no direct flights.

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah, yeah.

Captain Brien: So how long did the flight take?

Jon Rudnitsky: Oh I don’t know it took on I left last week.

Captain Brien: You hated it?

Jon Rudnitsky: No, no I didn’t mind it its all good I’m used to traveling it’s part of my job here He’s not texting

Captain Brien: I’m not texting I’m sharing stuff.

Captain Brien: Checking the livestream. Who doesn’t have the Facebook app? That’s a phenomenon right there I like that

Jon Rudnitsky: I periodically delete the Instagram app just because I like to be less connected.

Captain Brien: Really?

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah just from my phone.

Captain Brien: Even in your industry.

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah when I’m promoting a show I post and then I like delete the app cause I’m like I don’t wanna be wasting time I don’t trust myself to not open it up and then I start going down a rabbit hole. Why am I lookin’ up my ex-girlfriend’s fiance

Captain Brien: You can do like uh it used to be like the Youtube

Jon Rudnitsky: Pictures from 2014 I’m like this this is sad, this is the middle of the day and I’ve been on the toilet for an hour and a half now

Captain Brien: Right. It used to be like the Youtube vortex but I think everyone’s like on the Instagram now I’ll just start watching that scrolling.

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah Facebook is for my mom. For my mom to uh, accidentally post things on her status.

Captain Brien: So what, what’s the deal what are you looking forward to here in Naples cause for me it’s the same scenario but I love when the comics come in they want to do different stuff

Jon Rudnitsky: I wanna go to the beach I wanna hang out it’s nice weather here I wanna eat good seafood and I’m looking forward to the shows.

Captain Brien: You wanna know a story? Kevin Hart came down with seven of his homies, they stayed in a penthouse on the Marco Island Beach at the Marriott and never once went outside.

Jon Rudnitsky: Really?

Captain Brien: Yeah they never went to the beach.

Jon Rudnitsky: Unbelievable!

Captain Brien: I would go to the beach every day.

Jon Rudnitsky: You got a penthouse its a different thing, I’m at the Hampton Inn so I’m itchin’ to get out and see the sun.

Captain Brien: They played video games all day.

Jon Rudnitsky: Amazing. That’s great if I had a penthouse you know, who knows I might do that, I’d probably be out on the beach, I’d be out at the beach you know, a mix of the video games was wow but if I had all my buddies he’s doin’ it right that guy, Kevin Hart.

Captain Brien: So tell me about Saturday Night Live, how’s that gig?

Jon Rudnitsky: That gig was wild you know

Captain Brien: How’d you get it first of all?

Jon Rudnitsky: I was at the Just for Laughs Comedy Festival in Montreal I seeing new faces. – Are you goin’ this year? I’m not going this year now no, are you goin’?

Captain Brien: I might go this year, yeah. I missed a couple of years in a row but I think I wanna get back this year.

Jon Rudnitsky: It’s a wild time.

Captain Brien: It’s fun.

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah and for those who don’t know it’s the biggest comedy festival in the world

Captain Brien: It is.

Jon Rudnitsky: And I’d done this Dirty Dancing bit for my audition

Captain Brien: Okay.

Jon Rudnitsky: It’s basically where I come out to the Dirty Dancing song I Had The Time of My Life I had an imaginary

Captain Brien: Do you like to dance?

Jon Rudnitsky: I do.

Captain Brien:  I saw your moves, I saw your moves on the uh, what’s the game, is that the game or or the scream that you did

Jon Rudnitsky: Oh Oh that was just uh a Donald Glover commercial, Google commercial that I think is really cool and so

Captain Brien: You were doin’ the moves you looked good

Jon Rudnitsky: I was stoned one night and just learned all the moves and then and then I posted it.

Captain Brien: Speaking of which, I hung out with Donald Glover at the Montreal Comedy Festival.

Jon Rudnitsky: Oh my God that’s so cool. There’s nobody more talented I think in the world.

Captain Brien:  He’s amazing.

Jon Rudnitsky: than Donald Glover.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah oh my God forget about it

Captain Brien:  That was a good time

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah he’s unreal, he’s unreal.

Captain Brien:  He literally did comedy and then grabbed the mic and rapped in the middle of the nightclub.

Jon Rudnitsky: That sounds about right.

Captain Brien: He like just…

Jon Rudnitsky: He’s the funniest guy

Captain Brien:  He literally just started rapping

Jon Rudnitsky: And the most talented oh my God

Captain Brien:  In the middle of the club.

Jon Rudnitsky: That’s amazing.

Captain Brien: I don’t think people knew how cool that was at the time cuz it was like

Jon Rudnitsky: Oh was this kinda before

Captain Brien: Like five years ago, six years ago.

Jon Rudnitsky: Wow.

Captain Brien: Maybe four or five years ago so he was just blowing up.

Jon Rudnitsky: He’ll win like an Academy Award in the next couple years, he’ll make a movie whatever he touches is just immediately is immediately gold. So anyway so I did this Dirty Dancing bit where I came out to the Dirty Dancing song and I danced with an imaginary Jennifer Gray I mime the whole thing until the lift, and then I drop her, and she’s she’s dead.

Captain Brien:  And this is your audition?

Jon Rudnitsky: This was my audition.

Captain Brien:  Did they ask for this or this is what you sent in?

Jon Rudnitsky: No actually weirdly enough it was this was not my audition for SNL this was just my audition for, hey good morning Crystal.

Captain Brien:  Hey Crystal.

Jon Rudnitsky: Uh, this was just my, uh audition for the festival.

Captain Brien: Okay.

Jon Rudnitsky: It was actually my callback and it wasn’t supposed to be my callback, I auditioned with the standup and then for my callback I was like I’m going to go out there and do this weird mime act uh and at least they’ll remember me. I probably won’t get to book it but we won’t get new faces cause it’s so competitive but at least they’ll remember me. And then I did it and instead of going out there and doing my jokes I just didn’t talk for five minutes, I did this whole thing where I dance with imaginary Jennifer Gray up until the lift then she, I drop her, she’s a goner, I’m tryin’ to revive her.

Captain Brien:  Did you have this all planned?

Jon Rudnitsky: It goes on and goes on.

Captain Brien:  Or was this Ad-Lib?

Jon Rudnitsky: No I had it all planned, I had it all worked out, and then I did it at Montreal and SNL scouts were there and they invited me to showcase in LA and then they invited me to screen test at 30 Rock in front of Lorne and the producers and what not and and like a month later I’m at a parking lot in Minnesota about to perform at a comedy club and I get a call from Lorne Michaels inviting me to join the cast so it definitely changed my life, that moment.

Captain Brien:  I was there um when Amy Schumer got the call for the Amy Schumer Show which is I mean, it’s mind blowing right? Like these are life changing events was it a life changing event for you?

Jon Rudnitsky: By a long shot.

Captain Brien:  It was right? I mean of course.

Jon Rudnitsky: It was the most exciting thing that still ever happened to me you know, I’ve had some exciting calls I mean, just finishing this Hulu show with George Clooney in Italy is pretty wild. But this was the first big call and SNL is like, the dream for me. Was always the dream.

Captain Brien: Were you sitting there waiting for it? It just happened right it wasn’t like you know like approximately or no?

Jon Rudnitsky: I had tested for it and was waiting to hear

Captain Brien: But you didn’t know when the call was coming it coulda come in two weeks or coulda came next day right?

Jon Rudnitsky: Right, yeah.

Captain Brien:  Or they coulda called and said dude it didn’t work.

Jon Rudnitsky: It didn’t work out.

Captain Brien:  Saw your face but not gonna happen.

Jon Rudnitsky: Those are long days waiting for that call, waiting to find out if you got Saturday Night Live, and then getting it I screamed I just went running and screaming, just yelling at the top of my lungs.

Captain Brien:  And in the first time you were on camera live, were you shitting your pants, I mean to say the least?

Jon Rudnitsky: You know, it’s one of those things you kind of shit in your pants after is how I, it’s kinda how I always talk about it.

Captain Brien: It’s like Holy Shit I did it?

Jon Rudnitsky: It’s like you just gotta be here while its happening, I can’t think, I can’t zoom out and think about what I’m doing because if I did I would be frozen, like I’m on SNL, I’m live in front of millions of people, Miley Cyrus is licking my face which is what happened in my first week.

Captain Brien:  Oh my God!

Jon Rudnitsky: I can’t be thinking about the fact that this is happening. Now I look back and I’m like oh my God.

Captain Brien: Did you like Miley?

Jon Rudnitsky: She was so cool.

Captain Brien:  Yeah she is.

Jon Rudnitsky: That was uh uh quite an experience to, way to get initiated.

Jon Rudnitsky: I agree.

Jon Rudnitsky: Into the show.

Captain Brien: : What brought the lick on? Just the handsomeness, she couldn’t

Jon Rudnitsky: I wish I could take credit for that, but no the premise of the sketch was like a Grease dance you know like a 50’s kind of vibe.

Captain Brien: Oh yeah, I saw that, I saw that.

Jon Rudnitsky: And uh I’m like, she’s the new girl in school look how cute she is you know. And then she’s like modern day Miley so she’s like licking a lollipop and rappin’ about takin’ Molly and I’m like, overwhelmed and don’t know how to deal with it then by the end she’s like, you know, licking my face.

Captain Brien: You won her over.

Jon Rudnitsky: Or she like freaked me out, and pulled me in, but yeah it was a very cool experience. And to be able to come up with an idea on Tuesday, and then on Saturday suddenly you’re in costume.

Captain Brien: How long does that take ya to run the ideas by everyone?

Jon Rudnitsky: Um you know its just one night is writing night.

Captain Brien:  You have a pitch night?

Jon Rudnitsky: Monday night is pitch night, Tuesday night is writing night, you know, and then uh, then Wednesday and Thursday then you know you’re rehearsing, and then Friday you’re uh gearing up, by Saturday it’s ready to go and that’s it. And then there’s a dress rehearsal and things are gettin’ cut all the way up until the show. You could you know have something on the show but it could get cut for time.

Captain Brien: Right.

Jon Rudnitsky: You know, right before, so it’s

Captain Brien: What’s the wildest thing someone pitched in the room when they were like, who the hell thought of that?

Jon Rudnitsky:: I can’t honestly, I don’t know, I can’t think of like a crazy pitch, it was always, it’s always real funny, funny stuff but nothing like crazy I feel like.

Captain Brien: What about ones they they turn down, that you were like, damn, they didn’t frickin’ want that?

Jon Rudnitsky: Um.

Captain Brien:  That sounds hysterical.

Jon Rudnitsky:: I’m tryin’, jeez, I’m tryin’ to remember.

Captain Brien: What about something you pitched that got frickin’ turned down?

Jon Rudnitsky: Oh my God, so many more often than not, way more often than not.

Captain Brien: Really?

Jon Rudnitsky: When I pitch things.

Captain Brien:  Was there like a pecking order, where like, there’re certain guys who always get through?

Jon Rudnitsky: Well, yeah, there are certainly people who’ve earned their stripes there, and you know, Kate McKinnon is always gonna be you know, prominent in the show. Kenan has been there 15 years so he’s gonna be used a lot and, yeah there’s definitely and I was the new guy, so I kinda got thrown into the deep end with weights around my ankles a bit.

Captain Brien:  Right.

Jon Rudnitsky: And, for me it’s like fighting to to get air time. You have to really you have to write yourself into stuff, cuz otherwise I’m just the waiter, you know, oh the President will see you now and that’s it, that’s all I’ll do the entire show, so. Um, for me I had to write my own stuff, and and then you’re doin’ that, you write that Tuesday night at six a.m. with no sleep I’m writin’ a character, new idea, then suddenly Wednesday’s at a table reading in front of the funniest people in the world and whichever movie star’s hosting that week, and yeah a lot of times it doesn’t go well. To bomb at that level there’s nothing quite like that. Yeah.

Captain Brien: Yeah. And even on stage if you’re bombing the lights you can’t see every person’s face the whole time, but maybe in that room might be a little intimidating huh?

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah, it’s one thing if you’re bombing you know, at a comedy club wherever in, in, the country and it’s another thing if you’re bombing in front of Tina Fey or whoever’s hosting that week, or whoever, Larry David’s there, you know. I had a good week the week Larry David was there, which was nice cuz he’s my comedic icon, but, yeah I had a couple of good weeks and then a lot of, lot of misses and that’s the thing, the highs are very high and the lows are very low at that show. And it moves at a very fast pace, a very fast pace.

Captain Brien:  I always wonder, what about goin’ back like, have you been to any high school or college reunions or anything, and they’re like, dude, you’re on freakin’ SNL now!

Jon Rudnitsky: It was pretty wild yeah, the whole thing was a real, cuz I moved out to LA to pursue all of it and my first job was back in the East Coast where I grew up so, for me, like I called all my best friends, I’m like comin’, I’m movin’ home also cuz I got SNL. So, actually in the intro of the show it’s me walkin’ down a street in Manhattan with my best friends and my brothers.

Captain Brien:  Cool.

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah, that was in the intro of the show. So yeah it was very cool and

Captain Brien: So when you were in high school, did you go to college?

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah I went to USC that’s what brought me out to LA.

Captain Brien: : And you studied?

Jon Rudnitsky: Theater.

Captain Brien: Theater, right? So in high school were you already into theater?

Jon Rudnitsky: Always wanted to perform this was always the thing.

Captain Brien:  Did you do high school plays?

Jon Rudnitsky: I did the musicals, yeah.

Captain Brien:  Yeah, I did some, I did.

Jon Rudnitsky: You did?

Captain Brien:  I did in some drama like productions in the town I did a few.

Jon Rudnitsky: Oh wow! You got some footage and that we can cut to?

Captain Brien:  I do, I have some break dancin’ clips too.

Jon Rudnitsky: Oh my God break dancing! Can you still do that?

Captain Brien:  A little bit, a little bit.

Jon Rudnitsky: Wow.

Captain Brien:  Yeah I was on a break dancing show when I was in high, when I was in middle school, yeah.

Jon Rudnitsky: Wow.

Captain Brien:  It was a local cable show but it was pretty fun though.

Jon Rudnitsky: Oh my God I would love to see this.

Captain Brien:  It was great, it was great.

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah. Baggy sweatpants?

Captain Brien:  Oh yeah, the zippers, parachute pants and that.

Jon Rudnitsky: Bust a move. I imagine.

Captain Brien:  Oh yeah that was great.

Jon Rudnitsky: That’s fantastic, yeah, you gotta be, you gotta be strong to pull off those moves.

Captain Brien: You do, you do. What about what about traveling now with the food, like you’re from New Jersey right?

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah, from Jersey.

Captain Brien:  So the food’s the best in Jersey, I always feel like Jersey, Chicago, Boston, New York, right?

Jon Rudnitsky: All good stuff, yeah.

Jon Rudnitsky: Amazing. Like LA says they got great food, they got great restaurants, other places but it’s a different deal. Like I, I’m down with like the New York, the Boston, Jersey like Mom and Pop places been there like 50 years and they make the best whatever right?

Captain Brien:  Yeah yeah yeah

Captain Brien: When you go out to like LA the food has to be like really trendy, you don’t have that background right?

Jon Rudnitsky: It’s true, it’s different. It’s a lot of health foods in LA, which is good, I like I feel good when I’m in LA because it’s actually hard to eat like shit there, you know

Captain Brien:  Cause everyone’s like oh my God you’re not vegan?

Jon Rudnitsky: You can’t find regular milk there.

Captain Brien: It’s almond?

Jon Rudnitsky: It’s almond, it’s oat, it’s hemp, the milk’s go on and on.

Captain Brien:  Really?

Jon Rudnitsky: You can’t keep up with the milks. But now since I left yesterday I’ve had Dunkin’ Donuts three times.

Captain Brien: Oh I love Dunkin’! We went there this morning, right?

Jon Rudnitsky: We did, we did.

Captain Brien: They’re not sponsoring the show by the way, if Dunkin’ would like to you need to call us.

Jon Rudnitsky: Hashtag Dunkin’ Donuts.

Captain Brien: So we just left 105.5 we did two stations already, Gator Country, right? – Yeah.

Captain Brien: That went well with Mel and Scott, just left 105.5 the Beat with the Freak Show and now we’re doin’ 103.9 at Beasley.

Jon Rudnitsky: We got another radio?

Captain Brien: We got two more.

Jon Rudnitsky: Two more? Oh my God, look at this I thought I was goin’ back to bed.

Captain Brien: No, we’re takin’ ya to, it’s quick though, it’s quick. One hour we’ll be done. With everything. We’ll be done in an hour.

Jon Rudnitsky: Perfect perfect. Yeah no I’m I’m gamin’ here oh my God.

Captain Brien: You had no choice to do the show, it wasn’t like you were gonna get from Ft Myers back to your hotel without drivin’ with me

Jon Rudnitsky: No, I wasn’t avoiding it, I was avoiding it, I thought I ordered an Uber I don’t know how I ended up in this situation. Right?

Captain Brien: You didn’t know it was gonna be so much fun and so many questions.

Jon Rudnitsky: This is a blast, this is great.

Captain Brien: How do you keep the beard, do you trim it or do you just let that grow in and shave it?

Jon Rudnistky: I trim the beard.

Captain Brien: You do?

Jon Rudnitsky: I trim it, yeah yeah yeah, but I’m happiest with facial hair. I don’t know how you feel but don’t you always feel like ya gotta have a little bit of scruff?

Captain Brien: I go with the scruff and then I shave.

Jon Rudnitsky: I see you shave this.

Captain Brien: The reason I don’t shave this is I get a lot of rash. Like sometimes it’s just uh it gets uncomfortable.

Jon Rudnitsky: I go with the electric trimmer.

Captain Brien: Yeah me too, the trim.

Jon Rudnitsky: I bought one for my face and one for everything else.

Captain Brien:One for your nuts.

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah you don’t want to use the same one but sometimes I forget I don’t have ’em labeled so it’s luck of the draw.

Captain Brien: And do you live with somebody?

Jon Rudnitsky: I do.

Captain Brien: And do you let them know this is the nuts one on the face one?

Jon Rudnitsky: She just stays clear of all.

Captain Brien: She does? I probably wouldn’t say anything. Oh I’d be like I used that one today, ha ha and I’d just laugh myself.

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah well I don’t think she, she’s got she’s not usin’ my razor blade, she’s got a….

Captain Brien: She’s straight Bic?

Jon Rudnitsky: She’s got a fancier situation goin’ on she’s not an animal like me.

Captain Brien: I wouldn’t do the wax though. Did you ever do the full wax?

Jon Rudnitsky: I’ve never, I’ve never done a full wax. I’ve thought about it.

Captain Brien: Really? I get scared just goin’ up.

Jon Rudnitsky: The the uh you know, the in between the area the landing.

Captain Brien: Here’s what bothers me with the wax. When I go to the counter and they’re like yeah, what can we do for you today? What what kind of wax would you like, and I’m like, my eyebrows, I’m even afraid to say my ears. Out loud. I’m like my eyebrows, and then when I get in there I’m like can you do my ears and my nose? I don’t wanna be up at the counter, be like, can you wax my taint, my nuts are very hairy right now.

Jon Rudnitsky: Oh my God.

Captain Brien: Like, it’s embarrassing.

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah, you’re not the first person to ask and you know it’s uh

Captain Brien: But there’s always other people waiting to like.

Jon Rudnitsky: You gotta go to a place that I guess uh

Captain Brien: I go to a high end place, it just drives me crazy.

Jon Rudnitsky: Specializes in in waxing of the male privates.

Captain Brien: In the bung bung.

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah, I think so. I think it would be painful, probably not worth it

Captain Brien: How would you know it’s a specialty?

Jon Rudnitsky: What’s that?

Captain Brien: How do you know it’s their specialty?

Jon Rudnitsky: I guess you gotta go on Yelp

Captain Brien: You’re gonna Yelp it? And see what their review is on Trip Advisor?

Jon Rudnitsky: You might be able to Uber Eats it maybe somebody comes to you and brings you a sandwich it’s all a package deal.

Captain Brien: Yeah, speaking of Uber, do you use Lyft or Uber all the time? I never use Lyft ever.

Jon Rudnitsky: I use Lyft actually.

Captain Brien: Really?

Jon Rudnitsky: Um there was a thing I mean there was thing back when Trump was with the, the, uh, Muslim Ban and Uber I forget honestly what was happening, but Uber was bad at the time, and I deleted the app and that was my, that was me like, making a stance. I deleted Uber and I just use Lyft, I never read down what it is.

Captain Brien: And is Lyft as accessible as Uber? Like it’s just as quick a boom, they’re there, all the time.

Jon Rudnitsky: Uh Yeah it’s great, used it last night. Lyft is everywhere and it was like five minutes here.

Captain Brien: No problem.

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah I was surprised, surprised the whole, uh

Captain Brien: And the cars, like I see sometimes I think sometimes they’re moonlighting with both now aren’t they? They can ride Lyft and Uber at the same time.

Jon Rudnitsky: Oh yeah they’re working all of it.

Captain Brien: They are, right?

Jon Rudnitsky: A Lyft driver is also an Uber driver.

Captain Brien: I gotcha, I gotcha.

Jon Rudnitsky: Hey who’s this? Patty, hi Patty!

Captain Brien: Patty what’s happening?

Jon Rudnitsky: Anthony’s watchin’ now.

Captain Brien: I think we had a little technical difficulty you know how it tells people you’re live? I don’t think it’s telling people because we didn’t get a big number but after it plays it will play huge, it will be on the podcast, on Itunes, Stitcher, Sound Cloud,

Jon Rudnitsky: Just right now.

Captain Brien: Youtube, Facebook.

Jon Rudnitsky: Are you just trying to make me feel better that there’s two people watching us?

Captain Brien: I think so, I think that’s what my plan is. I’m tryin’ to kind of gear you up for a big punch.

Jon Rudnitsky: If this is any indication of my ticket sales.

Captain Brien: I bet you ten thousand views by the time Sunday morning rolls around.

Jon Rudnitsky: I like that, okay.

Captain Brien: That’ll happen. That’s our

Jon Rudnitsky: Just in time for me to leave town.

Captain Brien: Yeah but at least they’ll know during that time they’ll be building up. Guys, this is the Captain’s Log don’t forget you gotta see Jon all weekend at Off the Hook Comedy Club. Hey man, I appreciate the talk.

Jon Rudnitsky: I appreciate it.

Captain Brien:: It was fun I learned a lot of stuff today it was interesting.

Jon Rudnitsky:: This is great, I know about the trimmer thing, the waxing.

Captain Brien: I think we did good.

Jon Rudnitsky: Mainly about kind of hygiene and grooming

Captain Brien: We got a lot accomplished.

Jon Rudnitsky: I didn’t expect it to be so focused

Captain Brien: We’re out guys we’re out.