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Episode 202 The Captains Log with The Tennessee Tramp Janet Williams and Captain Brien!



Comedian Janet Williams joins the fun! She’s here to have a good time and not afraid to let us know how it is!

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info. 

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!

Check out Janet Williams and show her some love at:

 

PODCAST RECAP

Miss something on one of our episodes of the #naplescaptainslog? Don’t worry we got you covered! Here you will find a full transcript from this episode of the #naplescaptainslog!

Captain Brien: Live on the Captain’s Log how are you? This is episode two of The Captain’s Log with Janet Williams I have a real live tramp in the car.

Janet Williams: Yes you do. You’ve probably had more they just didn’t call themselves tramps.

Captain Brien: They didn’t refer to it specifically like that. Put your seatbelt on this is going to be a dangerous ride.

Janet Williams: I know it is. I’m with The Captain.

Captain Brien: Welcome aboard this is The Captain’s Log. I appreciate you guys tuning in. If you hang on we’re going to give away some tickets to see you tonight at Off The Hook comedy club how great is that?

Janet Williams: Hey that’s great because I have a lot if advice for every single age.

Captain Brien: You do?

Janet Williams: Yes I do.

Captain Brien: And you travel all around so you have some good stories.

Janet Williams: Oh I have great stories and if I don’t have great stories ill make it up.

Captain Brien: That’s a riot. So how did– I don’t even know if I know how you got The Tramp name.

Janet Williams: Okay I got all my husbands together in one meeting room and that’s the name that they came up with. Others could not be used on the air, but that’s the one that stuck.

Captain Brien: That one you figured at least it’s universal.

Janet Williams: Yes. And I’m not going to tell you how many husbands there were.

Captain Brien: There was at least one.

Janet Williams: Well there’s more than one and I love wedding cake I didn’t realize you could order a wedding cake without getting married. So once I realized that I quit getting married.

Captain Brien: Yeah you stopped.

Janet Williams: Yeah I’ll just get a cake.

Captain Brien: That’s good now what’s your favorite flavor?

Janet Williams: I like almond cake with cream cheese icing, but that I’m here this week let me tell you, I love the carrot cake it off the hook.

Captain Brien: Yeah it’s good.

Janet Williams: It’s the best it is the best.

Captain Brien: It is good I like it myself.

Janet Williams: And I know what is good to eat and what’s not good to eat.

Captain Brien: Well how do you explain that?

Janet Williams: Well if it’s really not good to eat it’s not good for you it doesn’t taste well.

Captain Brien: Yeah so wait the things that always are good to eat are usually not good for you.

Janet Williams: Right.

Captain Brien: Is that what you’re saying?

Janet Williams:  Right that’s what I’m saying, but if its a really good artery-clogger…

Captain Brien: Then they’re usually delicious.

Janet Williams: Delicious no doubt.

Captain Brien: Like a fried Oreo damn those are good.

Janet Williams: Oh I’ve never had one.

Captain Brien: You’ve never had a fried Oreo?

Janet Williams: No.

Captain Brien: Wait you’re from Tennessee!

Janet Williams: I know hey we do not fry everything in Tennessee.

Captain Brien: You barbecue or fry it, I don’t think you have other options.

Janet Williams: We barbecue or fry it that’s true. We just eat unusual things like, I bet you’ve never had a barbecued possum.

Captain Brien: No wait can you eat possum?

Janet Williams: You can.

Captain Brien: I thought you’d get like–

Janet Williams: Its roadkill. If its happened within ten minutes that meat’s still good.

Captain Brien: Really?

Janet Williams: I have no idea what I’m talking about.

Captain Brien: I thought you can’t eat possum they give you that disease.

Janet Williams: What disease?

Captain Brien: Oh that’s an armadillo that’s an armadillo.

Janet Williams: Oh you wouldn’t want an armadillo.

Captain Brien: Yeah you can’t eat armadillo it kills you, kill you.

Janet Williams: Yes yes yeah. Like that fish that you order, you have to sign off that.

Captain Brien: Oh the puffer the blowfish?

Janet Williams: Yeah you have to sign off to eat it.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Janet Williams: I’m not signing off on anything.

Captain Brien: I’m not signing nothing I have kids. I gotta take care of them. “What happened to Dad? He ate too much.”

Janet Williams: If I had kids I’d be eating that by the truckload.

Captain Brien: You would cast net ’em all day.

Janet Williams: I don’t want a contract just bring me tartar sauce.

Captain Brien: Would you fry it or would you just grill it or raw? Right down the hatch the whole thing?

Janet Williams: Fry.

Captain Brien: Yeah?

Janet Williams: Didn’t we just discuss the South? Yeah do you eat biscuits?

Captain Brien: Ooh I love biscuits.

Janet Williams: I make the best biscuits.

Captain Brien: Oh really? Like ten years you’ve been working the club? I get no biscuits none! Not a damn freaking crumb!

Janet Williams: Okay the next time I come biscuits are on the table.

Captain Brien: Okay I’m going to hold you to it.

Janet Williams: No problem.

Captain Brien: I’m going to hold you to it.

Janet Williams: No problem I’m there.

Captain Brien: Biscuits I got no biscuits I get nothing.

Janet Williams: I know!

Captain Brien: No fried chicken no barbecue.

Janet Williams: Oh I make great fried chicken.

Captain Brien: Oh she makes everything great. Everything is great we just can’t taste it.

Janet Williams: Here’s the deal you get a thin girl it’s microwaveable that’s it.

Janet Williams:You get a heavy-set woman we cook, and we cook in iron skillets.

Captain Brien: Oh I like a good iron skillet. I like a cornbread done in my iron skillet. Alright tell me you make the best cornbread too.

Janet Williams: I don’t make the best cornbread but I do make the best biscuits.

Captain Brien: That’s good I’m happy you didn’t tell me that too because everything is the best but I get none of it. It’s really depressing me this is my show.

Janet Williams: And next time I come in we’re gonna have fried chicken and biscuits.

Captain Brien: Okay I’m ready.

Janet Williams: It’s done.

Captain Brien: Wait so I love chicken I love chicken fingers but I say chicken “finga” because I’m from Boston. So I love chicken fingas. I eat them all the time.

Janet Williams: I know.

Captain Brien: And I love but I don’t like just like the Tyson store bought chicken. I like what I call chicken finga but I like the breast fried like regular fried chicken. Sometimes on the bone I’m not a big fan of fried chicken. I’ll eat chicken on the bone no problem but fried chicken sometimes I like just the breast.

Janet Williams: Right and I fry boneless chicken breast.

Captain Brien: Oh you fry the boneless chicken breast, what about like you know what I have not fried? I eat a lot in the Asian restaurants they’ll eat the thigh, that’ll be boneless and that’s dark meat right? So that’s good I should fry that.

Janet Williams: I’m not really I’m not big on dark meat.

Captain Brien: No nothing? No well what are you gonna do?

Captain Brien: We’ll try it we’ll go back to the biscuits what are you gonna tell ’em? What do you want to do?

Janet Williams: Fried chicken and biscuits it doesn’t get any better than that.

Captain Brien: Randy says Mid-west girls cook great, well Randy you haven’t cooked The Tramp hasn’t cooked, I’m sitting here I do all the cooking I do the cooking the talking the feeding the eating.

Janet Williams: And now we’ve got vodka and rum.

Captain Brien: Yeah yeah the drinking.

Captain Brien: I’m doing the work of the Lord I think. I bringing food to the table.

Janet Williams: I’m telling you Jesus sent you.

Captain Brien: Turning water into vodka. It’s not easy I’m doing it though. It’s not easy

Janet Williams: I’ve got this laryngitis thing, and I think your vodka is going to heal me.

Captain Brien: Well I’m going to do the rum too, I think you need a little rum because it’ll be a a little sweeter on you for you. You’re sweet you need a little sweetness in your life.

Janet Williams: Yes yes and as you get older you need sweetness, because old people are angry. And I’ll tell you what not all of them, but they are for good reason

Captain Brien: Yeah what’s that?

Janet Williams: You know it’s I have friends my age and I’m 70 and they’re like, “Can you believe that girl is hanging out of that top with those breast implants? Look how short her skirt is.” They’re saying that because they can’t wear that.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Janet Williams: If I has breast implants I would make Dolly Parton look flat-chested.

Captain Brien: Yeah you would get them.

Janet Williams: I would be touching the dash.

Captain Brien: Would you get big ones?

Janet Williams: Huge huge yeah and I’d want people to stare at me and then I’d go, “You can touch these if you buy me some rum and for Captain Brien.

Captain Brien: Just that’s it that’s all they have to do?

Janet Williams: That’s all that’s it.

Captain Brien: What if a bunch of people what if it’s shots all around?

Janet Williams: Not a problem. I got ’em covered because I got those big knockers.

Captain Brien: Yeah yeah and would you dress them up or would you just?

Janet Williams: Oh no no being touching the dashboard’s dress up enough you know what I mean?

Captain Brien: Yeah that’s good enough to go. Yeah that’s all the entrance they need?

Janet Williams: Right.

Captain Brien: I hear ya I hear ya.

Janet Williams: And I love the young girls that wear all these high heels they’re sparkly you know.

Captain Brien: Bless those girls I love them too.

Captain Brien: Oh I know men love that and I understand why I totally understand why.

Captain Brien: Why?

Janet Williams: Because they’re in heat.

Captain Brien: The men?

Janet Williams: Men are in heat 24/7, and when you meet a woman and she goes, “Oh I love everything about you.” And then you marry her. She wants you to change your socks don’t wear those shoes she likes nothing about you that she loved before the big ring.

Captain Brien: That’s right. What is that?

Janet Williams: We’re bitches.

Captain Brien: Oh. So you all get together and make that pact beforehand?

Janet Williams: Oh no we could never get together because we hate each other. We do this on our own.

Captain Brien: That’s true why is it that women always want to have guy friends but they don’t want to have girl friends?

Janet Williams: Well I’ll tell you what I work–

Captain Brien: When the girls go when the girls go out though then it’s a whole thing.

Janet Williams: Oh yeah you got a cock blocker somewhere.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Janet Williams: Um you know women are their own worst enemies. You know collectively we could rule the world, but we’re so petty about things you know? And I don’t know why we’re like that.

Captain Brien: I don’t either.

Janet Williams: I don’t have any idea but I’ve always worked predominantly in male environments and I love working with men.

Captain Brien: Well I love working with you.

Janet Williams: Well there you go.

Captain Brien: So we’re like a match made in heaven.

Janet Williams: Right and we work well together and we can party together but I’m not someone you want to marry.

Captain Brien: Why?

Janet Williams: Because at this stage in my life I’ve got some of my friends that are marrying again in their middle 70s late 70s, and they go, “Wouldn’t you like to have someone in your life?” No I don’t want to hear nobody breathing next to me I don’t want somebody saying, “Are my khakis clean?” You wore them last I don’t know. You know, “Are you hungry?” Which means they want something to eat. I don’t want to wait on anybody. No one.

Captain Brien: Do you like to cook?

Janet Williams: Love to cook.

Captain Brien: Do you like to clean?

Janet Williams: I love to clean.

Captain Brien: You will be perfect.

Janet Williams: I know.

Captain Brien: You’d be a good catch.

Janet Williams: I would be a good catch but–

Captain Brien: I like to cook but I just don’t I don’t like to clean.

Janet Williams: I love to clean it’s self-gratification.

Captain Brien: Cleaning up after I cook.

Janet Williams: Oh yeah I love that and I love a man that cooks. I think the perfect marriage is a man and a woman that enjoy cooking together so with my last ex-husband I said, “You know Stan I think we need to cook together.” He goes, “Okay.” So we made Chex Mix at Christmas.

Captain Brien: Oh that was talent.

Janet Williams: Have you ever had the police come to your home over making Chex Mix? No it didn’t happen so cooking didn’t bring us any closer.

Captain Brien: No wow so why’d the police come?

Janet Williams: Well you know things got out of hand. You know he just wanted to put too many nuts in it and I want pretzels and we had to have a showdown.

Captain Brien: Yeah just throw down after that. No nuts over pretzels what’s wrong with him?

Janet Williams: I don’t know.

Captain Brien: Pretzels he picked nuts over pretzels? What kind of nuts?

Janet Williams: Peanuts and cashews.

Captain Brien: No way if you told me something like pistachios or something I was thinking like alright maybe maybe he was going somewhere with it but peanuts? That’s like the bottom of the barrel.

Janet Williams: Thank you thank you.

Captain Brien: You don’t just throw peanuts in there. Were they peanut M&Ms?

Janet Williams: No but I love peanut M&Ms.

Captain Brien: You do? What’s your favorite flavor? Which one the yellow?

Janet Williams: Isn’t it the blue one that makes you horny?

Captain Brien: Oh.

Janet Williams: Or is it the red one?

Captain Brien: I don’t know I don’t know holy cow what’s that? That was a bale of hay a whole bale of hay right in the middle of the road.

Janet Williams: You may be from Boston but you know hay.

Captain Brien: I said holy hay.

Janet Williams: And let me tell you I didn’t ever know that you were from Boston, but I knew you weren’t very Southern.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Janet Williams: Yeah you can’t hide that.

Captain Brien: Well I’ve been down here for 20 years so did I lose the accent?

Janet Williams: No you haven’t even come close.

Captain Brien: That’s why I say chicken finga you know it’s not a finger its a finga.

Janet Williams: Right and I always think that I don’t sound that southern. Oh Randy says green and Mark says green, does that the one that makes you horny one the green? I didn’t know this.

Janet Williams: Yeah you gotta get out more.

Captain Brien: Yeah I don’t eat a lot of chocolate.

Janet Williams: Well you’re the work of the Devil.

Captain Brien: You know what they say about chocolate.

Janet Williams: What?

Captain Brien: It gives you the same hormone release as an orgasm so that’s why you never give women chocolate on a date for dessert because then she’s already satisfied.

Janet Williams: Well here’s the thing.

Captain Brien: So why do that?

Janet Williams: I really did not know that but I guess all these orgasms I’ve had are the family pack M&Ms.

Captain Brien: You’re giving away orgasms like it’s like it’s Mardi Gras.

Janet Williams: Right exactly.

Captain Brien: I hear ya I hear ya. You’re not shy about giving ’em out.

Janet Williams: Not in the least not in the least.

Captain Brien: Oh that’s good we got the cops on us, the cops are on us let’s turn the radar down. Not good for the Captain’s Log. We gotta just give it a little back roll.

Janet Williams: Wouldn’t it be great if we were pulled over?

Captain Brien: I keep saying that and here’s my theory, so I have the live on air sign right? It’s lit up no matter what if I get pulled over that sign’s going on, and they’d say, “Sir why do you have a sign on?” “Oh we’re live we’re on my show.” Do you think he’s going to give me a ticket if I do that? I think that’s my ticket out it’s the live on air sign.

Janet Williams: I think the ticket you’re going to get is when I tell him I’m not shutting my mouth until I get a pat down.

Captain Brien: Yeah that would not go well.

Janet Williams: There comes the ticket and you’ve gotta have an attitude about it.

Captain Brien: That could be handcuffs.

Janet Williams: Yes and that’s what I’m hoping for yeah.

Captain Brien: Oh.

Janet Williams: I miss the days of handcuffs.

Captain Brien: That could be fun that could be fun I can see where you’re going with this, and he’s in his little cop uniform. Yeah I’ll video it.

Janet Williams: I’ll let you video it. We’ll put it on a CD and sell it to everybody.

Captain Brien: That’s how we could make our next million.

Janet Williams: Yeah you get a free CD of me being patted down.

Captain Brien: A captain a cop and a tramp took a ride who ends up arrested?

Janet Williams: Right here’s the thing, we make it an attachment to the rum.

Captain Brien: That’s true.

Janet Williams: So not only do you get your fabulous rum you get the CD.

Captain Brien: That’s true.

Janet Williams: You need me on your planning team.

Captain Brien: That’s a giveaway like an extra giveaway.

Janet Williams: People will buy that rum and it will sit on the shelf, they’re going to want to see me patted down and then once they see me they’ll need the rum to get that out of their mind.

Captain Brien: Yeah. They’ll have to drink the whole thing and buy another one.

Janet Williams: You cannot un-see this you can’t un-see it.

Captain Brien: Well anyway guys if you want to see Janet Williams hey I promise him– You made me forget I was supposed to give away tickets. Did you share it?

Janet Williams: I did not.

Captain Brien: We did we screwed up the whole thing.

Janet Williams: Well you know we’re so intense when we’re together.

Captain Brien: Yeah so okay this is how we’re going to give away tickets, guys if you leave a comment below I’m going to post a promotional code that you can use. I’ll reply to every person with a promo code alright? You didn’t share it I forgot to give away the giveaway, this whole show has gone to hell in a hand-basket.

Janet Williams: It has but when you come to the show you’ll redeem yourself.

Captain Brien: Yes yes.

Janet Williams: Because you want to hear what The Tramp’s got to say.

Captain Brien: The Tramp is very funny.

Janet Williams: She is funny.

Captain Brien: She’s hysterical.

Janet Williams: Yeah and she’s a good time.

Captain Brien: Always. And maybe you just sign the breasts? Maybe we’ll let them sign your breasts now.

Janet Williams: Well you pointed here they’re closer to my knees.

Captain Brien: Gotcha. We’ll sign those down there that’s good that’s good. Aright guys leave a comment or share or whatever you want to do I’ll post a promo code you get two free tickets for tonight’s show or Sunday either one. For tonight and Sunday. Janet Williams a.k.a. The Tennessee Tramp, my guest on The Captain’s Log. This is episode two you know episode one, this is season two episode two. Did you know season one took 13 years to finish?

Janet Williams: Really?

Captain Brien: I think that’s a record.

Janet Williams: I think it is too.

Captain Brien: Yeah I think it’s a record.

Janet Williams: But I think two and two this is something special. Something big is going to happen definitely.

Captain Brien: Yeah you could have a baby on this show right now.

Janet Williams: Now that will make me extremely wealthy.

Captain Brien: That would be special that would be very special. Can you do something like lay an egg or something? It’s The Captain’s Log after all.

Janet Williams: If I could lay an egg you know at this point in my life I would eat it. And then you got the abortion people on you. You know so no I have no eggs they’re gone.

Captain Brien: We got nothing we got nothing.

Captain Brien: Well anyway we got you on stage at Off The Hook comedy club in Naples. Thank you so much thank you honey.

Janet Williams: Thank you Captain love you.

Captain Brien: Shake my hand even though I’m driving oh my god, I have another hand for the steering wheel, see I’m okay this one always stays on the shifter.

Janet Williams: Right you’re very safe very safe.

Captain Brien: We’re out guys be good.


Episode 201: New Season, Who Dis?



After 13 years here is season 2! Captain Brien and his guest from F-45 telling you their New year resolutions and how they plan on kicking a** in 2019!

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info. 

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!

Check out more about F-45 and show them some love at:

PODCAST RECAP

Miss something on one of our episodes of the #naplescaptainslog? Don’t worry we got you covered! Here you will find a full transcript from this episode of the #naplescaptainslog!

Captain Brien: Happy New Year, this is 2019, Season 2 finally for The Captain’s Log. I have Savannah and Valerie here from F45 in Naples, and we’re gonna talk about New Years Resolutions. We’re gonna see how we can kick some butt for 2019 and let’s go have a little ride on the Captain’s Log. Thank you for joining in. It only took 13 years to get through Season 1, and now we’re good. We’re good. We’re going with Season 2 now. So you’re the first guest, so you guys excited?

Valerie: Whoo!

Savannah: Super excited

Captain Brien: I know, my goodness. It’s like, amazing.

Captain Brien: So tell me about F45 because I did it. As you know, I probably struggled, but I did it last, what, Saturday. And they had the DJ, and it was – so tell us what it is.

Savannah: Yeah so F45 stands for functional. The F stands for functional, it’s a 45 minute workout. Um, it’s based out of Australia and it’s now just come to the States in the last couple years. Um so, basically we have our circuit training throughout our workouts, and we have functional exercises so obviously as you saw –

Captain Brien: Yeah because like, here’s the thing. I talked to Mike and I was like, ah I’m not really into like crossfit things. He said it’s not crossfit. For me it seemed like it was kinda crossfit. But tell me exactly what you guys think it is. What it is.

Savannah: So high intensity interval training mixed with cardio, resistance, and strength. So everything that we’re doing, you’re able to, all the exercises relate to your everyday life. So in crossfit when you’re doing certain exercises, you’re not going to be doing those type of crazy snatches or things like that.

Captain Brien: Ah. I understand now. Okay. I see what you’re saying.

Savannah: And you know, everyday life um, value of everyday life

Captain Brien: But in everyday life you’re not sitting there pumping up your biceps either, right? But it looks good. Girls like that though.

Savannah: It’s not for the superficial gain.

Captain Brien: It’s not?

Valerie: We are, its functional training so you are strengthening your core and your legs and your back.

Captain Brien: It kicked my butt, I’ll tell you that much. I’m still sore. And I run, like I don’t run but I ride my bike like 12 miles a day. I go to the gym, you know, three to six times a week. That one kicked my butt I have to tell ya. I have to tell ya but, I wasn’t going to give up, wasn’t gonna be like I’m not doing this. And then of course I get started on that one hour exercise. What’s the deal with it’s called F45 and you start me on an hour. What’s going on here?

Savannah: Yes it’s –

Captain Brien: What’s going on here? I think you set me up for failure.

Valerie: You did awesome.

Savannah: No you did awesome.

Valerie: You killed it.

Captain Brien: It was good, it was fun. I liked it a lot. So why on Saturdays an hour?

Savannah: It’s just our special Saturday workouts. We have the live DJ, we have our Hollywood session, we have 27 stations to go through, as you saw. So Saturdays are just our kick off the end of the week and really kill it the 60 minute workout.

Valerie: And it’s the cardio and the resistance mixed. It’s a hybrid workout.

Captain Brien: Oh so they’re all different, right? That’s the key with you guys, is that every time you go it’s supposed to be different.

Savannah:  Yes.

Valerie: You’ll never ever do the same workout twice.

Captain Brien: But the exercises vary, like, I’m sure there’s only so many exercises you can do, yeah?

Valerie: Yeah over 3,000.

Captain Brien: Yeah so I could do 3,000 next week. That’s easy.

Savannah: We’ll throw ’em all in for the one week.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Savannah: But its good on Monday, Wednesday, Friday, our workouts are more cardio based. So what you did on Saturday was a combination between resistance and cardio. So Monday, Wednesday, Friday you’ll come in, you’ll have more of a cardio based workout. Which means that you’re keeping your heart rate up for longer periods of time, less rest periods. That’s what that means.

Captain Brien: Oh okay. That’s fun. So like, the ones when you’re like hopping and doing the burpee things, are those called burpees?

Savannah: Burpees, so when your chest is to the ground and then you come up and do a jump, yeah. So those are burpees and then –

Captain Brien: So you do more stuff like that.

Savannah: On those three times throughout the week. Monday, Wednesday, Friday and then our Tuesday, Thursday and now Sundays, we have our more strength based. So it means more rest time, but more time under tension which means you’re holding your weight under tension so you’re slowly going in a deficit with a deadlift or whatever exercise you may be doing. You’re keeping your muscles engaged that entire work period and then you’re resting for a little bit more.

Valerie: And you’re gonna go heavier those days.

Captain Brien: Okay. And then so, there’s a whole program right, where you have an app and you can eat according to what you guys recommend and that kind of thing too, right?

Valerie: Yes. F45 Challenge App.

Captain Brien: F45 Challenge App. So where can they get more information now, what’s your website so they know if they wanna hop on?

Valerie: F45training.com/naples or F45training.com/corkscrew

Captain Brien: Alright. And then there’s three locations, right?

Savannah: Correct. So our first one is in Central Naples. So, off Pine Ridge Airport, the one that you were at, right in the Target shopping center. We have one open right now in Estero in the University Village, the new shopping area by FGCU.

Captain Brien: Oh yeah, I know right where that is.

Savannah: And then we have a third studio opening in early 2019 about March or April, and that will be in Tarpon Bay, which is off of Immokalee and 75.

Captain Brien: Very cool.

Savannah: Right next to the Panera.

Captain Brien: So how’d you guys get involved in this? How did you find out about it?

Savannah: Mike and Val, yeah, they found the program online.

Valerie: Actually we work out all the time together so we were doing cardio, we would do an hour of cardio in the morning together.

Captain Brien: And you just typed in Australian new thing. No come on, how did you figure?

Valerie: No. We would do it then we would work out for another hour and a half in the evenings, lifting weights. We were spending all our time in the studio and we were looking for something and someone said, someone from Colorado said well, F45s are everywhere out west cause they started in California and worked their way east.

Captain Brien: Okay.

Valerie: And they said check it out. Yes. And so I got online and it’s, you know, the two and a half hours condensed into 45 minutes is perfect. You’re building lean muscle mass, you’re raising your resting metabolic rate, you feel awesome, and you’re not spending half your day in a gym.

Captain Brien: Yeah. So for 2019 for everyone’s New Year resolution I’m sure everyone’s thinking go to the gym and get healthy. That’s the big thing.

Valerie: Yes absolutely.

Captain Brien: So what do you recommend that we start with?

Valerie: I recommend you come in and start going three times, at least three times per week. And if most people come in, they start, they’re like I’m gonna go a couple times and they get hooked and they come every single day. We have people that now come two times a day.

Captain Brien: They come two times a day? Those people are called unemployed or retired.

Valerie: They’re employed and actually a lot of them work physical jobs.

Captain Brien: Oh yeah. Wow. Okay. They’re addicted.

Valerie: So they are totally addicted. That’s what this is. It’s totally addictive.

Savannah: And the biggest thing is the sense of community. The trainers, you have two personal trainers in every class.

Captain Brien: Yeah it was fun, I got a couple of high fives.

Savannah: Yeah. High fives and obviously just that comradery you know, you’re always going to be in at the same time that works for your schedule. You know your trainers, you know us, and then the people that are in those classes. So you literally become a family.

Captain Brien: So how often are you there?

Savannah: I’m there every single day.

Captain Brien: Every day?

Savannah: Both of our studios. Our trainers rotate between both of our studios right now and then we will go to the third one. Yeah, we’ll always be in the studio, always have a smiling face.

Captain Brien: And what did you do before F45? Because this is how long now you guys have been doing this?

Valerie: We opened up in August 28th.

Captain Brien: Okay. Okay cool. So before that were you also a trainer?

Savannah: Yeah. I was a personal trainer and group fitness trainer at Missouri State. I had just graduated college. So yeah. So after college I moved down here and then yeah, found Mike and Val and helped them open. We did boot camps first before the studios were open so we were, you know, getting our name out there, getting people involved and then we would open our doors.

Captain Brien: Were you guys doing it outside or something?

Valerie: Yep.

Captain Brien: I love that. Yes. I saw that. That was cute.

Valerie: Yeah that’s where it started.

Captain Brien: So how hard was it, I do a lot on entrepreneurial stuff. I do different, they start different businesses, I talk to entrepreneurs all day, all night. So you just started this from scratch but you guys obviously got the rights for the franchise, correct?

Valerie: Right.

Captain Brien: So you’re the franchisee?

Valerie: Correct.

Captain Brien: And how’s that working with them?

Valerie: They’re wonderful.

Captain Brien: Yeah. Because I’ve heard great stories. Some people have had great experiences, some people are like basically we bought the name, and we’re on our own. But it seems like they have a lot right? So how many other franchises are there?

Valerie: Well we are in 32 countries worldwide and 1,400, is it 1,400 worldwide?

Savannah: At least that many.

Captain Brien: Wow so yeah. So obviously they pretty much have their game on like, you sign up you do all your stuff and then they do the rest, yes?

Valerie: Yes and they’re constantly improving all of our systems and adding things. We have three apps. We have the app for the classes, book yourself in, we have the F45 life app, you track how your performance is during your sessions,

Captain Brien: You’re gonna have to scream to reach the microphone.

Valerie: Oh I’m sorry.

Captain Brien: Oh its okay. You’re not talking to me, you’re talking to the world. Yeah. You yelled at me enough, I get to yell at you now. All Saturday I got yelled at. Come on, we’re going to the next one, next one. Now she wants to be quiet back there.

Valerie: Yeah. F45 life, it says you went and worked out this many times this week and this is how well you did. The F45 Challenge that gives you your meals for the week, your shopping list.

Captain Brien: Give me an idea of what they feed you different. What’s their philosophy, I want to know.

Valerie: Its not different, it’s just the way that the macros are. So you’re eating lasagna, you’re eating hamburgers, you’re eating steak, it’s just everything is made in a more healthy way and we spice things up. So it’s very flavorful.

Captain Brien: But what, they cut dairy, they cut carbs?

Valerie: Yeah. We eat almond milk instead of, but we still eat eggs, no cheese, just a little bit of cheese. We actually do get a little bit of cheese.

Captain Brien: I love cheese. That one gets me worse than sugar. No sugar I’m sure right?

Valerie: Yeah but you don’t miss it. You really don’t when you start eating –

Captain Brien: No I get it, yeah.

Savannah: When there’s like so many different recipes on the app that you can always you know, mix and match and at least, the biggest thing is within the fitness industry, you just want to get people in good routines. That’s what we’re focusing on so, you know obviously we’re not going to come to you and change your entire lifestyle and everything that you eat on the first day. We just want to give you those –

Captain Brien: You’re waiting for the second.

Savannah: No, not the second day. We want to give you just, pointers. Maybe take this out and try it with this. Substitute this and that. That’s where we’re starting, just to create those lifelong, long term progress, and what you do habitually. So that’s the biggest thing with the challenge and the trainers, we have a team. We have eight trainers so we’re stationed off to have you know, 10 to 15 clients for the challenge which we’ll talk about starting February 2nd. If you come in and you’re a member with us, you’re automatically within, you’re able to be included in this eight week challenge and that helps. You have a trainer specifically assigned to you. So we’ll be, you know, following you up. Okay you just came in and did an awesome workout. That’s awesome, glad you did but what are you eating after? How are you recovering, you know, successfully? Are you stretching, how are you meal prepping, what are you cooking with? So you’ll have someone to hold you accountable.

Captain Brien: I hate meal prepping. You know why? Because I don’t eat leftovers.

Savannah: Okay so you don’t have to meal prep. As long as you have, you know, fresh cut veggies in your fridge so there’s no excuses why you’re not eating well.

Captain Brien: Okay I need to get veggies. I have a lot of fruit.

Savannah: You know your lean meats, everything set in your house all ready to prepare, so that when you do get home late you know from work, you already have healthy food in your fridge to grab and to eat and cook.

Captain Brien: Okay so what did you eat today so far?

Savannah: I have a protein shake in the morning. I do morning classes, we just taught four classes. And then, I just, I do a protein shake and almonds in the morning obviously. It starts your metabolism and then you know, you can stay up higher in fat loss. That’s personally what I do. My body works off that, but then I’ll add in carbs.

Captain Brien: Like what? Well, gee, come on spill the beans. It’s 2019.

Savannah: I had a muffin coming over here.

Captain Brien: See? Did you have a protein muffin or like a regular muffin?

Savannah: No just a normal muffin, we jumped over here. But that’s my carb source so as long as you can see nutrition in the sense of what you’re eating, your overall calories that you’re consuming is you know, your full caloric intake. So obviously we’re into fitness but nutrition does play into a part. So you know, as long as you’re eating less than you’re expending, you know, that’s how you’re going to be in a caloric deficit. You know, if you do want weight loss, if it’s your main goal, or fat loss.

Captain Brien: Now, in college what did you study?

Savannah: Agriculture and communications, yeah.

Captain Brien: And so you’re doing well with that?

Savannah: I’m well within agriculture now but in fitness now it all relates, all correlates, nutrition and everything.

Captain Brien: So I studied psychology and criminal justice of which I’ve never used any of it.

Savannah: See most people don’t.

Captain Brien: Yeah although, this is kind of like what I talk to people, I guess I kinda, a little psychology.

Savannah: Use it a little bit.

Captain Brien: Yeah but its, yeah. As long as you’re out there doing something you love, you don’t have to like, focus on your major always. I don’t feel like that. I feel like the thing that’s most important is that you get up every day and you’re happy to do it. So working out, like, is the same way right? You see the most results when people really are into it. It’s not a chore. Who wants to hate it?

Valerie: Nobody comes in and hates it and I mean honestly, we have people that come in and they leave halfway through.

Captain Brien: Oh really?

Valerie: Oh yeah. A lot. But they come back.

Captain Brien: Listen. I had to say that I was shocked that people just walk in and do that one hour workout like I did.

Valerie: Well they do, but some of them spend half the time in the bathroom.

Captain Brien: I don’t think, yeah. I would assume. I was like you gotta be kidding me, there’s no way that like, I’m looking around like these people must be doing this all the time because there’s no way they would be able to hang.

Savannah: Yeah and that’s the best thing. Once people are coming back you know, every day, or at least three to four times a week, they get in their routine you know? They’re able to rest during their rest time and get to the next station instead of thinking that ten seconds of rest just means you’re sitting there. You’re resting while getting to that next station. So you still have to move, it’s just the habit.

Captain Brien: Understood. Yeah because I really surprised. I was like this is pretty hard.

Valerie: Honestly Brien, what a lot of people tell me is if everybody wasn’t around me, I would have quit but I kept going because that lady beside me wasn’t quitting so I’m not quitting. And that’s how you build your cardiovascular, that’s how you build your strength. You get mind over matter.

Captain Brien: And when you have people like you guys pushing everyone along and then its like, the timing thing, it really is like, it was pushing and pushing and pushing because I’ll be honest. When I work out, yeah I’m not working out that hard myself. Who does? Like you gotta be a crazy person. Be in the gym and doing all that in front of people? In your situation, its fun because it’s exciting.

Valerie: We’re all doing it together.

Captain Brien: Yeah I agree.

Savannah: And then ill just say to this question. Yes it’s for males and females. We highly suggest, we try to market it as best we can as athletic conditioning, strength training, it’s not a, what do they call it? Like an all girls –

Captain Brien: Its not like an aerobics class.

Valerie: It’s not jazzercise.

Savannah:Not not at all. There’s just as many males as females on our roster. You know just, yeah, because a lot of places are just for females and no. It’s for everybody.

Captain Brien: And then, what about like, the person who can’t do like, they’re not going to be jumping down doing burpees and all that kind of stuff. Some people I’m sure physically can’t do it. They have back pain or whatever. So what do you do?

Valerie: That’s the number one difference between, it’s a huge difference between crossfit and us. We don’t focus or demand everybody do the Olympic style movement. We have a modification and an option for anybody.

Captain Brien: Oh you didn’t give me that option. You just said –

Valerie: Oh you’re fine, you can do it.

Captain Brien: Oh yeah of course, you’re just going right in. I went gold medal style or something.

Savannah: The biggest thing we push is you know, when everyone comes in we introduce ourselves, we look for new members, and then we always ask does anyone have any injuries or certain things that they aren’t capable of? So before the workout even starts we have conversations with these people. Is your knee hurting you, what can you do? So then throughout the circuit, we will be able to go with them and personal train them and say oh I know that you have this issue, why don’t you try this exercise instead of what everyone else is doing and tailor it specifically for each person. So that’s the biggest thing when you’re coming in –

Captain Brien: The thing that I always worried about is like, my god I don’t know how to do all these exercises. But the funny thing is, is like, I was like how do these people know how to do all these exercises? And then it just kinda came natural. I don’t know how I figured it out.

Savannah: You’re watching us demo –

Captain Brien: Yeah you guys like showed me how to do everything and I was like alright I could do this for like how long is each one?

Savannah: The 45 minute workout or?

Captain Brien: Yeah each set was, how long was that? It was timed.

Savannah: For that it was 45 seconds.

Captain Brien: 45 seconds right and then you get 15 seconds rest to the next place. Not rest, sit there. You’ve got to go to the next little thing.

Savannah: Right and the biggest thing that I think is obviously there’s so much value in F45. And when you come in everybody, you’ll understand that. When you do come in, you’ll realize that there’s two people only focused on the members. So we’re not doing the exercise along with you. We’re not tired, we’re just focusing on our members. Making sure you have proper form, that’s the biggest thing for people who –

Captain Brien: Yeah a couple times you gave me some good pointers.

Savannah: You know people are so worried about going into a big corporate gym and not doing it correctly. Well don’t worry, we are there literally showing you how to do it correctly and safely, that’s our biggest thing is to do this exercise properly and efficiently so you’re not wasting your time.

Captain Brien: Well for 2019, I think we’re gonna all have health on our mind and physical fitness, and you guys are great. I appreciate you coming on The Captain’s Log.

Savannah: Thanks for having us.

Captain Brien: Thanks so much, I appreciate it and I’m looking forward to F45. Guys we’re going to drop the comments below with the website information and how you can sign up or you can learn more about it, and go and check it out and have some fun like I did. Because I’ll be back and I had a great time.

Savannah: Follow us on Facebook, on Instagram.

Captain Brien: Yeah what is that? What’s your Instagram?

Savannah: F45_training_naples and then obviously for the corkscrew is the other one. We do do a two week free trial for all new members. We’d love to have you come in. 14 days, no contract, just literally for free two full weeks. Give us a call, 239-601-4006 and we’d love to get you signed in.

Captain Brien: What’s the phone number again?

Savannah: 239-601-4006

Captain Brien: Awesome there you go guys. This is the Captain’s Log, Season 2, Episode 1. It’s a wrap. we will be back tomorrow, thanks for watching. Hey like it and share it if you had a good time, if you didn’t, don’t tell anybody it wasn’t fun. Bye.


Episode 101: The Captain’s Log with Emma Willmann and Captain Brien Blindfolded!



On this episode of the #captainslog Captain Brien and the super funny Emma Willmann! See how well Captain Brien can do driving with a blindfold!

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!


Episode 97: The Captain’s Log recreating a Michelin Chef 5 Star Cocolate Chip Cookie Recipe!



On this episode of the #captainslog Brien and Will Spina try to recreate the chocolate chip cookie. This recipe was rated 5 star by a Michelin Chef! Let see if Brien and Will can live up to the expectation! comment below your favorite cookie!

Watch full video here ————>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qs4Kx9JrFqQ&t=6s

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!


Episode 185: The Captain’s Log with Captain Brien and Mitch Green on their way to grub!



On this episode of the #naplescaptainslog watch Captain Brien and his special guest Mitch Green go to a charity barbecue! He is also the owner of the Coffee Bar 239!

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.

Watch full video at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J99ZCj93iso&t=41s

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!


Episode 182: The Captain’s Log with Breana and Will Spina! Let’s see who’s been naughty or nice!



This episode of the #naplescaptainslog watch Captain Brien determine whether or not they should get there Christmas gifts early!

Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info. The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!

Watch full video at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9sbHlQSHgwY&t=3s


Episode 177: Captain’s Log with Captain Brien and Sea Shelley! Caution Slippery When Wet!



On this episode of the #naplescaptainslog watch Captain Brien with a real life mermaid! #cleanwater
Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info. The captain’s log podcast is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!