Kelsey Craft from Dr. Daller’s Office joins Captain Brien to discuss male facial routines! This is a simple 5-step facial routine just for the men with a ton of anti-aging tips!
Dr. Daller will be joining Captain Brien EVERY Tuesday at 2:30 on the Captains Log to answer any questions you may have! Make sure you tune in and comment with your questions!
Siri can now help you listen to your favorite podcasts! Say things like “play The Captains Log” or “play my newest podcasts.” You can also ask Siri about the podcast that is currently playing and request to be subscribed! Just tell Siri “subscribe to this show!”
Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.
The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!
Comedians Richy Leis and Kristina Montouri join Captain Brien! They kick off the laughs with a beat box free style, discuss famous DMs they’ve received, and talk about psychic readings they’ve experienced!
Siri can now help you listen to your favorite podcasts! Say things like “play The Captains Log” or “play my newest podcasts.” You can also ask Siri about the podcast that is currently playing and request to be subscribed! Just tell Siri “subscribe to this show!”
Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.
The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!
Check Comedians Richy Leis and Kristina Montouri out and show them some love at:
Evidential Medium Cindy Kaza is back again with Captain Brien! This time they discuss a current trending story about fake and fraudulent mediums!
Siri can now help you listen to your favorite podcasts! Say things like “play The Captains Log” or “play my newest podcasts.” You can also ask Siri about the podcast that is currently playing and request to be subscribed! Just tell Siri “subscribe to this show!”
Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.
The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!
The tables have turned and Captain Brien is in the hot seat! Ryan Hoppe of the Hoppe Hour Podcast interviews Captain Brien! They discuss how Captain Brien started his company, his success, and how he likes spending his free time!
Siri can now help you listen to your favorite podcasts! Say things like “play The Captains Log” or “play my newest podcasts.” You can also ask Siri about the podcast that is currently playing and request to be subscribed! Just tell Siri “subscribe to this show!”
Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.
The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!
Check Captain Brien and Ryan Hoppe out and show them some love at:
Dr. Daller is back again with Captain Brien to tell us all about the benefits of drinking Apple Cider Vinegar!
Dr. Daller will be joining Captain Brien EVERY Tuesday at 2:30 on the Captains Log to answer any questions you may have! Make sure you tune in and comment with your questions!
Siri can now help you listen to your favorite podcasts! Say things like “play The Captains Log” or “play my newest podcasts.” You can also ask Siri about the podcast that is currently playing and request to be subscribed! Just tell Siri “subscribe to this show!”
Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.
The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!
Check Dr. Daller out and show him some love at:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/meir.daller/
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PODCAST RECAP
Miss something on one of our episodes of the #naplescaptainslog? Don’t worry we got you covered! Here you will find a full transcript from this episode of the #naplescaptainslog!
Captain Brien: Welcome back to Captain’s Log, Dr. Doller again, again.
Dr. Daller: Captain, how you doin’, buddy?
Captain Brien: Every Tuesday.
Dr. Daller: Loving it.
Captain Brien: I wanna learn about the health benefits of apple cider vinegar. This is a big thing, right, it’s a big topic.
Dr. Daller: It’s huge. So, apple cider vinegar, if you Google apple cider vinegar, you’re going to see tens of thousands of inputs from different people, from scientists. You know, apple cider vinegar, Captain Brien, has been around for 3500 years. This is not something that was just invented. And there’s not too much scientific evidence because it’s cheap, you know, a bottle of apple cider vinegar, even if you buy it–
Captain Brien: But is it a fad?
Dr. Daller: No, it’s not a fad. Again, it cannot be a fad for 3500 years. A fad is something that has been around for, you know, six months, in six months gonna go away. This has been around from Roman times, from Biblical time.
Captain Brien: And you told me, I keep interrupting, but you told me about the mothers, it’s gotta be the one with the mothers, yes?
Dr. Daller: That’s the one I use, because I believe in organic, I believe in unpasteurized, I believe that it’s not filtered, so the one with the mother, it’s, again, it’s unfiltered, it has, what’s the mother? The mother is all the remnants. The mother is what you call, you heard about probiotics? There is something called prebiotics. Probiotics are the microbes that you’re going to ingest every morning that you’re going to take. They are found in yogurt and other things. Prebiotics is what this microbe needs to grow, so that mother, that stuff, it’s like, just think about like a Petri dish to grow those microbes in your gut. So, and again, I like the fact that it’s unfiltered as well. So, I spend another dollar. It’s overall cheap, four bucks, you guy it and it lasts you for a year. You don’t need to refrigerate apple cider vinegar, and it’s fantastic. Again, the test of time is probably the best test in life, the best test in medicine for sure, because, for example, if I have a lesion on my arm here and I go to the dermatologist and he tells me, hey Doc, you know, I want to remove it, this doesn’t look like. I said, buddy, I had it for 30 years this has been around, so the fact that it had been around for 30 years, most likely it’s not deadly.
Captain Brien: You’re gonna make it.
Dr. Daller: I’m going to make it. So, the same with apple cider vinegar. The fact that it has been treated with patients, after patients, after patients, and people believe in that, and it’s working. So, there is some science behind this. There’s Japanese scientists, there’s American scientists that have done apple cider vinegar. So, today we’ll talk a little bit about the science, and we’ll talk about how to take it. Let’s start by how to take apple cider vinegar. What do I do? I do, and again, that’s what I like about your podcast. The podcast gives the tools to people to live healthy, the tools for people to laugh, the tools for people to enjoy life, because, after all, this is a short business, it’s all temporary business.
Captain Brien: That’s right, it’s 100 years or less expiration date.
Dr. Daller: 100 years, from your mouth to God’s ears, please. 100 years, I mean, we would love 100 years. That would be fantastic. But you give them the tools, Captain Brien, to really enjoy life, to have a healthy life, to see less doctors. It’s bad for my business, but overall, it’s good when I see patients that are healthy, they are in good shape, and everything else. So, what do I do? I take a six to eight ounce glass of water, I put a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar. I use Bragg’s brand, but it can be any brand, and I mix it, and I drink it in the morning.
Captain Brien: Straight?
Dr. Daller: Straight.
Captain Brien: Do you put ice water or water?
Dr. Daller: Just, I put cold water, but no, not right out of the tap. So, it’s refrigerated water, just because it’s easier for me to drink it.
Captain Brien: Do you shoot it in one shot, because I did it for about a week, and I don’t know if it helped or not, but for some reason, I just got sidetracked and forgot about it, and now I look at the damn apple cider vinegar every day on my counter and I say, why am I not doing it?
Dr. Daller: And what happened to you happens to everybody. Everybody is very good for one week. They’re very good for one week going to the gym, they’re very good about eating healthy, you know, fruits and vegetables for one week, and then they fall off the wagon. So, the key here is getting to be persistent. You cannot see results if you do something for a week. You have to be persistent, and it’s sustainable, it’s easy. So, because the last episode, we talked about, you know, the intermittent fasting, because I intermittent fast, and I don’t have breakfast, so, what I do, I do it in the morning and I do it at night before I go to bed, and that does suppress my appetite, and that’s something really, really important. So, apple cider vinegar will make you feel like you’re full, make you feel like what we call satiety. You feel like, you know, I’m not that hungry, and so–
Captain Brien: What if you take it on an empty stomach? You don’t feel like it’s gonna go right out?
Dr. Daller: No, not at all.
Captain Brien: I think maybe you’re a pro.
Dr. Daller: I’m like a professional.
Captain Brien: Your stomach’s like a vise.
Dr. Daller: Not at all, it’s very good. Your stomach acidity is about two, so apple cider vinegar, the acidity of apple cider vinegar is 2.5, the pH. So just think about, the lower the pH, the more acidic things are. Your car battery, the acidity of a car battery is one, so the acidity in your stomach, your stomach is quite acidic, and apple cider vinegar, counterintuitively, apple cider vinegar for patients that have what you call gerd or reflux disease, it does help them. The acidity does help to solve that–
Captain Brien: So when they say, what about this thing that they say, everyone wants to drink alkaline water? Oh, I gotta have alkaline water, a specialty.
Dr. Daller:Right, so, there’s no science behind that, and I do hear that.
Captain Brien: It’s a bunch of bull?
Captain Brien: No, I didn’t say that. So, there is a difference between there is no science behind it and it’s a bunch of bull. So, there’s science behind stuff, it’s something that was researched, something that, you know–
Captain Brien: Clinically proven.
Dr. Daller: Clinically proven. A bunch of bull is saying, you know what, it’s clinically proven that it’s bull, you understand? So, you have to do the research to find that it’s bull. Some patients say, you know what, I benefit from alkaline water. I say, you know what, if you’re benefiting, do it. I don’t see any harm.
Captain Brien: I had somebody telling me that they have to drink alkaline water ’cause they’re on a special diet.
Dr. Daller: Again, I don’t know–
Captain Brien: Is there such a thing?
Dr. Daller: So, there is no diet–
Captain Brien: I think they just needed to drink their own water at the club.
Dr. Daller: And you know what, they spend another dollar, you buy it–
Captain Brien: Yeah, they just didn’t wanna spend $3 on a bottle of water.
Captain Brien: So right, they wanted to have their own water.
Dr. Daller: Correct.
Dr. Daller: And people do that at the airports, and do that in the hotel, and they say, oh, I want kosher water. What is kosher water? Every water’s kosher, you know? I want certain things, or I’m allergic to this.
Captain Brien: Onions, I’m allergic to onions.
Dr. Daller: I want to bring my own food to the restaurant. I mean, that’s a trick we did in college, but right now, we can’t do that anymore. It’s not cool, it’s not cool, right, to do that. So, let’s go back to apple cider vinegar. So, apple cider vinegar will make you feel like you are full. So, as a result of that, so, studies show that you are going to take 300 calories less a day if you take apple cider vinegar.
Captain Brien: Really?
Dr. Daller: So, just by that, it’s not a lot, just think, but it’s something, it adds up.
Captain Brien: It’s something.
Dr. Daller: It adds up. So, that’s why one–
Captain Brien: That’s 2100 calories a week.
Dr. Daller: Correct, so that’s why one week is not enough, so if you do it over here, you feel like, wow, I already ate less. Okay, so that’s one thing. The second thing is, it’s going to improve your metabolism, your overall metabolism is going to increase. By how much, we don’t know because, again, there is no research about it.
Captain Brien: Why has nobody tested this?
Dr. Daller: Because, I’ll tell you why, because there is no money here.
Captain Brien: Randy, how come no one’s tested it? Len, get out there, start testing it. Daniel, hey guys. They’re not watching.
Dr. Daller: Again, a bottle of apple cider vinegar is five bucks. This is not Big Pharma, there’s no Merck and Pfizer behind this, so there’s no money.
Captain Brien: Right, so Greg could get out there and do some damn clinical tests!
Dr. Daller: But even if they do–
Captain Brien: Then make all the money.
Dr. Daller: They will still sell it for five bucks a bottle, and that bottle lasts for a year, so it’s no, there is no huge business here. It’s not like a bottle of wine, you know, you sell for 20 bucks, you drink it that night. You cannot drink an apple cider vinegar, the whole bottle, one night. I mean, that would be a disaster if you do that, so that’s not good. So that’s why, there’s no money involved here, and as a result of that, I mean, people are not doing research. Also, the industries supported by pharmaceutical companies, they want money, they’re in the money business. And, you know, Captain Brien and I, we give you information as they are. I mean, there’s no, this is uncensored–
Captain Brien: Yeah, they’re not sponsoring this podcast.
Dr. Daller: No, they are not sponsoring.
Captain Brien: Although we are available.
Dr. Daller: If they want to call us, you know, we are willing to negotiate something with them. But, again, so it’s going to improve your metabolism, it’s going to increase your feeling full, it’s going to help you with calcium absorption. That’s very important for patients that have osteopetrosis, and if you want not to develop osteopetrosis, it’s going to help with calcium absorption in your body, but most importantly, for patients with type II diabetes, or patients with what we call pre-diabetes, patients that you know are going to develop diabetes, they have already some of the signs, they have certain levels of AIC that is going up, and things like that, certain labs that are abnormal. That’s going to help you with insulin regulation. So, and there are several studies about apple cider vinegar helping with the insulin receptor for the sugar.
Captain Brien: So, what happens if you just take a spoonful, ’cause some people do it that way, right? They don’t water it down.
Dr. Daller: Nothing wrong with that. I like watering it down because I want to protect my teeth, and I think that it’s very harsh on the enamel.
Captain Brien: Oh.
Dr. Daller: So, I don’t want to take it as a, but you can put it in your salad, mix it in your salad like this, so you don’t have it all at once.
Captain Brien: So, if you drink it through a straw?
Dr. Daller: Captain Brien always thinks about, you know, he’s so innovative. And you can do that, but again, I like it diluted because it’s nice on my esophagus also. The esophagus is the tube that goes all the way to the stomach. I don’t want to be too harsh on that. When it reaches the stomach, the environment there is such that it’s no big deal.
Captain Brien: And do you shoot it in one shot or do you drink it slow? Does it matter?
Dr. Daller: It doesn’t matter. It takes me two gulps to finish it completely. And you know, I cannot tell you, wow, it’s delicious. It’s not delicious.
Captain Brien: It’s not delicious.
Dr. Daller: It doesn’t taste great, but you know what, and I cannot tell you it’s acquired because I have been doing this for a while and I’ve not acquired it yet.
Captain Brien: Right, exactly. Yeah, after the week long torture I still did it, but it was not pleasantly exciting.
Dr. Daller: So, one more item that is very, very important about apple cider vinegar, before we go to esoteric things of apple cider vinegar. So, when you are taking apple cider vinegar, and let’s say you have half a bagel with that, so you have apple cider vinegar, and then you take half a bagel, and the bagel with the starch and all the stuff that’s in bagels, or you take whatever starchy food, so apple cider vinegar will prevent the enzymes that are in your stomach to digest starch, and that’s very good.
Captain Brien: So does that mean it comes out quicker?
Dr. Daller: No, it will come out as is without being digested, and that’s what we like. Why do we like cauliflower and stuff like that? Because your body, it’s very difficult for you to digest.
Captain Brien: Kale.
Dr. Daller: Kale, right, all these vegetables are difficult to digest. As a result, they come out, all the fibers. Here, with starch, the enzymes that digest starch, the apple cider vinegar is going to inhibit those enzymes. As a result of that, you’re not going to digest the starch, and it’s going to come out, and you’re not going to absorb the starch. Now, Captain Brien, I know what you’re going to do. Right now, you’re going to buy a dozen bagels and a little bit of apple cider vinegar and have them. That won’t work. Why is that? Because it’s true in the stomach it’s not going to digest it, but if you have a huge load of starch, that will go to the stomach–
Captain Brien: Get absorbed.
Dr. Daller: No, it’s going to go into your small intestine, and in your small intestine and in your colon, you’re going to have, that’s going to be fermented. All the starch is going to be fermented, and then you’re going to have absorption of that, and you’re going to get that sugar high, which is not good. So don’t buy the dozen bagels.
Captain Brien: Yeah, don’t do that. Just in moderation, it’s not the cure from it all. It’s not like if you take a spoonful of apple cider vinegar, you can go out and eat prime rib every night. It’s just gonna help a little bit.
Dr. Daller: That’s correct.
Captain Brien: But it’s got great benefits, positive benefits. And Randy wants to know, what is the mothers? We started this conversation where Dr. Daller did explain what the mother is, but go ahead and quickly tell him.
Dr. Daller: So, the mother is all the remnants, all the things that are what I call prebiotics. Not probiotics, prebiotics. These are the things that you need for things to ferment. So, these are what you call, in a non-medical term, schmutz. The schmutz is all the dirt, and that dirt is very important.
Dr. Daller: That’s what grows the enzymes, correct?
Dr. Daller: That’s correct, that’s where everything can grow. The probiotics grows on prebiotics, so that’s important. So, Captain Brien is absolutely right. Apple cider vinegar by itself, if you go and have donuts right now and have apple cider, it will never work. It works if you listen to Captain Brien’s podcast, and you listen to us every Tuesday, and you’re going to do intermittent fasting, and you’re going to eat healthy, and you’re going to take care of yourself, and you’re going to exercise, and you’re going to do yoga, and you’re going to meditate, and you’re not going to watch the news, and you’re going to go to the comedy club, and you’re going to laugh, and you’re going to laugh because laughter–
Captain Brien: When you drink vodka and alcohol it better be sugar-free, gluten-free.
Dr. Daller: Captain Brien, and then on Sundays, you have the good bloody Mary because the vegetables, and the fruits, and everything else here, so absolutely, enjoy life to the fullest, absolutely. We are not discouraging people from enjoying life. We encourage people to enjoy life, very, very important. But again, organic food is important, and healthy food is important, and fruit and vegetables are important. These are all important elements that, all together, they’re going to help your life and prevent you from seeing me or seeing any doctor.
Captain Brien: So, I had a question someone DMed me on the intermittent fasting that we did last week. So, the person was questioning that, if they don’t make it for 16 hours, which is the optimum time, what if they only fast for 11 hours? Is there still a positive benefit from that, where they were hungry, and then they broke the hunger after 11 hours, and they didn’t get into 12, to 16 hours. Is it still okay for them, or is just not doing anything good for them?
Dr. Daller: No, no, it’s better than nothing, it’s better than nothing. So, ideally they’re going to go for 16 hours slowly. But if they can only do 10 hours, which is two hours after they sleep for seven, eight hours, and then two extra hours they don’t right away and immediately, oh, I need my, whatever they eat, McDonald’s, McMuffins, one of these McMuffins right away. What do you have at McDonald’s?
Captain Brien: I guess it could be a McMuffin. I don’t eat McDonald’s.
Dr. Daller: McMuffin, or one of these McMorning sandwiches.
Captain Brien: But I do like Dunkin Donuts, that’s my favorite.
Dr. Daller: Sure, so if they don’t do it right away, that helps. But again, if you want to have the best benefits, the longer you are fasting, the better off it is for your brain, the better off it is for your body, the better off it is to lose that belly fat.
Captain Brien: So, if they did 12 hours, that’s great, it’s still positive benefit.
Dr. Daller: Yes.
Captain Brien: Okay, so that’s the answer to that one. Hi, Cindy, I have people messaging me. What’s going on? Hey, Heidi, how are you? We’re live on The Captain’s Log, this is the podcast. You guys can always download the podcast on Stitcher, iTunes, SoundCloud, we’re on Spotify, you could go to Google apps and download it on your favorite podcast app. Anyway, we’re also on YouTube, so don’t forget, if you like it, share it, tell your friends, and say hello. You can always DM questions to myself or Dr. Daller. You can find us both on Facebook and Instagram, or even Twitter, and say hello.
Dr. Daller: Let’s see, what else? Some esoteric things about apple cider vinegar. So, being a captain, you are in the sea, you’re swimming, and all of a sudden, a jellyfish stung you. The best cure for jellyfish stinging is?
Captain Brien: Yeah, an acid.
Dr. Daller: Acid, correct, so apple cider vinegar.
Captain Brien: Or you could pee on it.
Dr. Daller: Or you can pee on it, right.
Captain Brien: Because your pee is acidic, but not as much.
Dr. Daller: Correct, not as much, not as acidic. Your pH in your urine is between five and a half and seven, six and a half, so it’s acidic, but not very acidic. But apple cider vinegar, if you have apple cider vinegar, absolutely, it will help the stinging.
Captain Brien: If you take a lot of apple cider vinegar, will it make your pee more acidic?
Dr. Daller: It would, so it will change your pH, but again, with apple cider vinegar, more is not better, so I really encourage people to do it not more than three, I do it twice a day, but no more than three times a day, because–
Captain Brien: So, in the morning.
Dr. Daller: In the morning, you can do it just before lunch. For example, if you really want to lose weight, just before, maybe 10, 15 minutes before lunch, have another glass of apple cider vinegar, you are going to, again, you are not going to feel like you want to eat anything.
Captain Brien: Especially after you taste it.
Dr. Daller: After you taste it, you will feel like you want to puke. But no, it’s not that bad, really. For those who didn’t try it, some people put a little bit of lemon, some people put honey. I don’t like to put honey on it because I don’t need that extra sugar, extra calories there, but I take it straight with water.
Captain Brien: I’m gonna try the Bragg’s, they have a, they have one that already has the honey and lemon. Has anyone tried that, have you tried it?
Dr. Daller: No, I never tried it, you know–
Captain Brien: Does that kill the effects of the live probiotic, or no?
Dr. Daller: No, it does not. No, apple cider vinegar, if you look, there is no expiration date on apple cider vinegar.
Captain Brien: But even when you mix it with, like, lemon?
Dr. Daller: When you mix it with honey and stuff like that, I’m sure there is. I mean, honey is a, is problematic. But when you look at apple cider vinegar, apple cider vinegar can live with no refrigerator for thousands of years. You know, when you find wine from 1000 years ago, it’s vinegar essentially. So, you know, apple cider vinegar does not expire. It doesn’t go bad at all.
Captain Brien: So, overall, you’re a big fan, you suggest that everyone does it.
Dr. Daller: I’m a big fan of overall healthy living, so I’m not a big fan of one thing, I’m a big fan of many, many things. I don’t believe in one thing, I believe in–
Captain Brien: You like a combination.
Dr. Daller: Right, you do have to go to the gym, and you do have to exercise, and you do have to meditate, and you do have to do a little bit of yoga, and you do have to eat responsibly and healthy in small portions, and you do have to laugh and enjoy life, and you have to, you know, celebrate every day. And you know, I do believe in thanking God every single morning. I thank God for everything that I have, I thank God for my health, I thank God for being alive. Extremely important.
Captain Brien: What’s Bragg’s amino acid they sell good for?
Dr. Daller: Yeah, so amino acids, so, the apple cider vinegar really does not have any nutritional factor. For example, if you look at apple cider vinegar, the back, there is no amino acids there, there’s nothing there. Apple cider vinegar is really, in a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar, there are only three calories. It’s nothing. It does count as anything, and it doesn’t have any vitamins or anything like that. I did see in the supermarket the Bragg’s amino acid. I’m not a big fan.
Captain Brien: No, just stick with the natural?
Dr. Daller: Keep it simple, you know, you want amino acid, a very good source of amino acids are proteins, okay? So that’s how you can get your amino acid, get your proteins. What are proteins? Proteins are a bunch of amino acids together.
Captain Brien: So, how much water have you drank since the last time we talked to you? We’re gonna try to drink more.
Dr. Daller: So I have been. So, I’ve been very good. So, what I’m doing now, I bring from home a big jug of 800 CCs, 800 mLs of water, and I put mint, like yesterday, I put some fresh mint in it and a tangerine, and I drink four or five of these every day. So, I bring it to the office and then I fill them up, fill them up, fill them up. And because, you know, for some reason, if it’s a bottle of water, I feel like, wow, I drank a bottle, and a bottle of water is 500 CCs, it’s nothing.
– Nothing, you gotta drink more. You’ve been doing good.
Dr. Daller: I’ve been doing very good.
Captain Brien: I have my Yeti, my 22 ounce Yeti, I’ve been trying to drink that all day, keep filling it up.
Dr. Daller: Love it. But not all day, multiple times. Fill it up, fill it up, fill it up.
Captain Brien: Just keep drinking and filling.
Dr. Daller: Fill it all the time, yep.
Captain Brien: And then I run to the bathroom too.
Dr. Daller: Absolutely.
Captain Brien: I noticed that, since I drank more, obviously I’m going to the bathroom more. You know, I would only go to the bathroom two times a day, until the bedtime would be the third time. Now I’m going three, four times during the day. That’s good, right?
Dr. Daller: How much do you weight, Captain?
Captain Brien: I weigh 176 pounds.
Dr. Daller: That’s wonderful.
Captain Brien: That’s good?
Dr. Daller: Yeah, that’s good, I mean–
Captain Brien: I wanna get down to 171.
Dr. Daller: So do it, try it. Easy, for you it’s nothing.
Captain Brien: Yeah, I know.
Dr. Daller: For you it’s nothing.
Captain Brien: Oh my god, this guy’s in a rush. The light just turned green half a second ago.
Dr. Daller: It’s like, you see, they don’t listen to your podcast. They need to listen to the podcast.
Captain Brien: Apparently he has no idea about The Captain’s Log.
Dr. Daller: About living life, not being pissed off all the time. Being pissed off is not healthy.
Captain Brien: Not at all. So yeah, what about plans for the week? Let’s wrap it up. What are you doing?
Dr. Daller: That said, you know, we went fishing outside.
Captain Brien: Oh, when you caught the cobia.
Dr. Daller: We caught the cobia.
Captain Brien: You took a great picture, I loved it.
Dr. Daller: Great fish, delicious, and this weekend, nothing spectacular. You know, kid stuff, you know, the usual activities that we do, but nothing is planned.
Captain Brien: Jen Lee says, “Hey Brien, so happy I tuned in. “Been doing research already with apple cider vinegar. “Can I mix it with water that I flavored “since it doesn’t taste good?”
Dr. Daller: Yeah, you can, you can, you definitely can.
Captain Brien: What flavor are you gonna pick with the vinegar, though?
Dr. Daller: You know–
Captain Brien: I’m pretty good in the kitchen, but I don’t know.
Dr. Daller: I would pick something around the sweeter side of flavors. You know, a fruit that is sweeter, you know, like a peach or something like that. But you know, I don’t know.
Captain Brien: Maybe a little basil with the peach, a little peach basil.
Dr. Daller: There you go, there you go.
Captain Brien: It’s a new business, coming out with a new business.
Dr. Daller: Thinking about it all the time, I love it, I love it.
Captain Brien: All right, well, guys, you don’t wanna miss this week. We have so many great guests coming your way. Dr. Daller’s with me every Tuesday. DM your questions to us, we’ll answer ’em, we’ll answer ’em live on the air or we’ll respond right then and there, whatever you want, we’re happy to do that for you. Thank you for watching. But tomorrow we’re gonna be live again, Gary Owen, he’s coming back. And then Thursday, we have Richy Lala, and then Friday, I got another big one, Cindy Kaza, she’s the medium.
Dr. Daller: Wow, I love her. Oh, she’s the best. She is amazing. I mean, you know, she, when we were in the radio station, she brought my parents back, and that was–
Captain Brien: She brought my grandmother, yeah.
Dr. Daller: I have goosebumps just thinking about it.
Captain Brien:My grandma and my grandpa back. She knew everything right away.
Dr. Daller: She is, she is the real deal. She is amazing, she is pretty, she is beautiful, she is smart, she is everything you want.
Captain Brien: We should find out if she drinks apple cider vinegar.
Dr. Daller: Absolutely, or vodka, for that matter.
Captain Brien: Thanks for tuning in, guys. We’re out!
On this episodes of the #captainslog, Dr. Daller joins Captain Brien again! Dr. Daller is here to tell us all about intermittent fasting! Dr. Daller and Captain Brien discuss who should and should not be doing intermittent fasting, how to eliminate gut fat quickly, and how intermittent fasting can even help you remember better! If you have ever wondered about intermittent fasting, tune into this podcast to have your questions answered!
Dr. Daller will be joining Captain Brien EVERY Tuesday at 2:30 on the Captains Log to answer any questions you may have! Make sure you tune in and comment with your questions!
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The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!
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PODCAST RECAP
Miss something on one of our episodes of the #naplescaptainslog? Don’t worry we got you covered! Here you will find a full transcript from this episode of the #naplescaptainslog!
Captain Brien: Welcome back, guys, to Captain’s Log! Dr Daller, thanks for joining me, buddy.
Dr. Daller: I’m doing fantastic, how are you, buddy?
Captain Brien: I’m good, we’re gonna take a ride, let’s do it.
Dr. Daller: Absolutely.
Captain Brien: You gotta tell me about intermittent fasting.
Dr. Daller: Intermittent fasting, so so many patients, so many people, ask about intermittent fasting. They say, first of all for disclaimer, I did not invent intermittent fasting. A lot of people associating that with you. Not with me, not at all.
Captain Brien: You’re a fan of it, though?
Dr. Daller: I am big time, fan of that.
Captain Brien: Yeah.
Dr. Daller: I have been intermittent fasting for 12 years and I’m a believer. And I guarantee people, which I don’t like to use the term guarantee in medicine, I guarantee people you are going to lose your belly fat, you’re going to lose part of your body that you don’t like from intermittent fasting. So first of all intermittent fasting has been around, Brien, for about 35 to 4,000 years. 4,000 years, biblical time, people–
Captain Brien: 4,000?
Dr. Daller: Of course! In biblical times, people used to have one meal a day at dinnertime if they were lucky. On a good day they had one meal a day. And that was very, very good for them. They never had, you know, for breakfast milk with cereal and they didn’t have all the junk that we have and they didn’t have protein bars.
Captain Brien: Okay, so I’m gonna interrupt you because people always say, “Oh you have to have four meals. “You have to eat as soon as you’re hungry. “Your body’s gonna store fat.” Tell me what–
Dr. Daller: Okay, first of all–
Captain Brien: Why is everyone making the change now to fasting?
Dr. Daller: It’s a myth and a folk lore. What do I mean by that? You know, every mother is tell to the kids, you know, you have to have breakfast and you are sure that you eat all the time and you should not keep your sugar low and you should do that. And it’s true, for kids that are growing they should eat all the time and they should definitely have breakfast and they should eat as much as they can. Why, because they are growing.
Captain Brien: Right
Dr. Daller: But Brien, you are growing out, you are not growing up.
Captain Brien: ‘Course.
Dr. Daller: So for kids, absolutely, their mother is right. They should have all the things that we talked about they should do, they should have breakfast, they should not do intermittent fasting and everything else.
Captain Brien: Okay, but when they say that your body stores the fat if you are hungry–
Dr. Daller: No, no.
Captain Brien: What happened, they used to say that?
Dr. Daller: I know, I know, I remember.
Captain Brien: So that’s why they used to say, used to eat a lot.
Dr. Daller: I remember when they were talking about, you know, keep your blood sugar at the same level–
Captain Brien: Right!
Dr. Daller: Because if you are going to hunger your body is going to go to an emergency–
Captain Brien: Right!
Dr. Daller: And store fat.
Captain Brien: That’s exactly right!
Dr. Daller: I remember that. So all the research, every research from Johns Hopkins to Mayo Clinic to everywhere to Mass General shows that that’s not true. First of all, there are two hormones that we are going to talk about today. One, it’s called insulin, the other one is called human growth hormone. So insulin is the hormone that when you eat something it tells the body to start storing stuff. For example, storing fat, it makes your body store glycogen in your liver and after the liver is full of glycogen it will go into fat. So when you are starving yourself this goes into reverse. So insulin is going to go down as a result of that you’re going to utilize your glycogen in your liver. In your liver you have about 11 hours, and that’s important. Remember that number, 11 hours of storage, of energy that you have in your liver that you can use. After that you’re going to use fat. So, for example, why is it so important to exercise high-intensity exercise? Because you are going to use that glycogen faster and all of a sudden you are going into burning into fat.
Captain Brien: So I like to eat at dinner.
Dr. Daller: Yeah.
Captain Brien: And then, a lot of times I’ll have my coffee and go all the way ’til like 2 o’clock. But, sometimes if I got to the gym, I feel like, oh man, I feel like I’m starving.
Dr. Daller: Right.
Captain Brien: Is it okay to hit the gym during that time?
Dr. Daller: Absolutely, absolutely. I love in your head, right, it’s in your head to say–
Captain Brien: That’s what it always is!
Dr. Daller: You know, I’m going to the gym, you know, I want to, either after the gym or before the gym, “Oh, I’m going to the gym, “I’m going to use a lot of energy.” How much energy do you use at the gym? 250 calories on a good day, 300 calories if you kill yourself. It’s not a lot, you have plenty of reserve–
Captain Brien: My watch says five, six hundred.
Dr. Daller: I don’t believe that watch. So, I mean, you really have to kill yourself for six, seven hundred which people do. I mean, you can do 700, you can do, in one hour 700 calories. Still, in your liver you have more than you need to use that, you have plenty of reserve. So, you should–
Captain Brien: So don’t worry, if you’re hungry you could still work out?
Dr. Daller: Absolutely, absolutely, and again, that hunger is in your head, you can definitely–
Captain Brien: You gotta overcome it.
Dr. Daller: You can fast for, I believe in fasting for 16 good hours. So 16 hours of fasting, eight hours of eating. So during the night, it’s very easy to do. During the night, Brien, you don’t eat anyways, right? So you have six, seven, eight hours that you don’t eat. And then you wake up in the morning and the first thing you think about, “Well, I should eat something.” Why you should eat something? You’re not even hungry, it’s in your head that you need to eat something. Now, if you don’t eat something and now, eight hours, plus another four, five hours, now you are done with your glycogen storage, you are done with your glycogen storage and you start burning fat. And you burn fat and you lose that gut, the fat in your visceral, visceral fat is the fat around your liver, around your stomach, inside your belly. It’s like an organ by itself that visceral fat. And that’s very, very important to do to lose that gut fat.
Captain Brien: And that happens after how many hours?
Dr. Daller: So that happens, it depends if you exercise or you don’t exercise. If you exercise, which I encourage people do do, high-intensity exercise, that can happen after 10 hours. But if you wait for 16 hours, all this time is fat burning. It’s clean fuel that you’re using. You’re burning fat, you’re burning fat, you’re burning fat. Now it’s important, again, we talked about insulin and we talked about human growth hormone. Human growth hormone is the hormone, it’s an anabolic hormone and it occurs only when you don’t have food in the system when you don’t have that glycogen. At nighttime HGH goes up. Now if you start eating, the moment you eat HGH goes down, human growth hormone goes down. As a result of that you don’t have, human growth hormone help you burn the fat, help you build muscle et cetera. So these are the two hormones that are very important. Insulin and human growth hormone that are essential, essential in intermittent fasting. So I read several articles, one article that I want to talk about is from Johns Hopkins. And this article shows that patients that did, if I remember it was about rats and other animals that they did studies on, to see if intermittent fasting is going to help them with dementia and Alzheimer. And they show on the rat model that intermittent fasting is going to make you remember things better. So, whether you’re going to be in a maze or whatever, wherever you’re going be or going to do it even better.
Captain Brien: You’re sharper?
Dr. Daller: You are sharper. And I know that for myself, when you know, when you eat something, you know, with a lot of sugar and everything you have that sugar high and then a low. When you are, when I’m fasting I don’t eat until 12.30 probably, everyday.
Captain Brien: When you’re fasting can you still have coffee?
Dr. Daller: I have coffee, I have black coffee.
Captain Brien: Okay, but no sugar?
Dr. Daller: No sugar, very important.
Captain Brien: What about almond milk in your coffee?
Dr. Daller: Again, a little bit, later on after you feel better with yourself, you clean the fat, you can have a little bit almond milk.
Captain Brien: But otherwise the whole time fasting no sugar, nothing, just water?
Dr. Daller: As much as you want water, unlimited water.
Captain Brien: For me, you could give me a whole list of water. I’d believe it!
Dr. Daller: As much as you like, all different kinds of water! Kinds of water.
Captain Brien: Wow, how generous.
Dr. Daller: So whatever you want, water. And you know, again, I guarantee people the intermittent fasting is going to work for you. It worked for me, it worked for all my patients. I mean, probably by now we’re about 4,500 patients that we did that. One guy lost 160 pounds in two years, he was doing intermittent fasting.
Captain Brien: Changing nothing else?
Dr. Daller: Nothing else.
Captain Brien: You’re kidding me.
Dr. Daller: I mean, when I say nothing else, he ate healthy in between.
Captain Brien: Right, right.
Dr. Daller: He didn’t go to McDonald’s, Taco Bell or fast food. He didn’t use processed food, he didn’t have, you know, refined sugar, he didn’t have danishes. He did intermittent fasting–
Captain Brien: What about cheesecake?
Dr. Daller: No.
Captain Brien: Did he have cheesecake?
Dr. Daller: No cheesecake, Brien, absolutely no cheesecake.
Captain Brien: No cheesecake.
Dr. Daller: No cheesecake. But again, again I don’t want to sound like the crazy doctor. From time to time you have to live a life.
Captain Brien: Yeah.
Dr. Daller: You have to enjoy life. If a spoonful, of I don’t know what, makes you happy, whether it’s an ice-cream sundae or cheesecake, do it! I mean, if that’s what make you happy, do it. But the whole idea is the majority of the time you are not going to do stuff like that because you are going to enjoy an apple. When you take a bite of an apple it’s delicious.
Captain Brien: You get all the nutrients.
Dr. Daller: An apple a day will keep the doctor away. I believe in that, I mean, all the fiber, everything that’s good for you–
Captain Brien: So wait, now, here’s another thing I have a question about. So, during the fasting, can I do the apple cider vinegar?
Dr. Daller: Yes, because it’s water and apple cider and a tablespoon full of apple cider vinegar, absolutely. It will make you feel full, it’s going to help your metabolism, I do that. So I have apple cider vinegar in the morning and at night. A glass full six to eight ounces of water with a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar. I mix it, I drink it, you know it’s acquired taste. Most people say it’s disguising.
Captain Brien: Can be, right.
Dr. Daller: But you know what, everything in life that we learn that tastes good we, just somebody told us it tastes good. You know, when you had that spoon of something else–
Captain Brien: Oh really?
Dr. Daller: Your mother told you–
Captain Brien: Do you tell your taste buds it’s healthy?
Dr. Daller: Yes, because it’s natural–
Captain Brien: Yeah, you like that, it’s good!
Dr. Daller: I mean why–
Captain Brien: Goes on good!
Dr. Daller: I mean why, we learn how to eat stuff that is cooked and then we learn how to eat stuff that is sweet and then we learn how to eat… Because, no, as a child we are learning stuff that we’ll say, “Well, I don’t like okra, “and I do like this.” “Why you don’t like okra? “Who said you don’t like okra?” I mean, it’s like somebody, oh you know, you looked at your brother and you say, “Oh, my brother said it’s disgusting. So I heard it’s disgusting.”
Captain Brien: He doesn’t like the texture.
Dr. Daller: I don’t like the texture, I don’t like the feel, how it feels when it’s in my mouth. So again, going back that study from Johns Hopkins about memory, because again, things that scare people it’s dementia and Alzheimer and things like that.
Captain Brien: Right.
Dr. Daller: Because we are looking at, we want to live a healthy life. And you know, I always say healthcare is a big business. They are not in the business of keeping you healthy because there is business in disease. There’s no money in health.
Captain Brien: That’s right, there’s no money in sick, in not going to the doctor.
Dr. Daller: There’s no, in not going to the doctor. So you have to take care on your own. You have to understand that, you know what, I don’t want to have dementia, I don’t want to have Alzheimer, I don’t want to take any of the Aricept or any pills for dementia or Alzheimer. I want to do whatever it takes. So what does it take? It take intermittent fasting, it takes exercise, it takes health living. Exercise is key for dementia and Alzheimer.
Captain Brien: What about CoQ10?
Dr. Daller: No, really, no good study shows that the other supplements that we are taking are any beneficial. But starvation, when we say the 16 hours of quote-unquote starvation, even though, again, years after years, for thousands of years we never had breakfast. Years after years we didn’t have processed food and we did very well. People were lean and, you know, they looked fantastic. And now we have processed food and everybody is eating all the time and let’s grab some more food, and let’s grab more food and let’s grab more food. So again, I have nothing wrong with going to a restaurant, having a nice dinner. It’s a social event, absolutely enjoy your food. Go, have a good food. Enjoy good seafood, enjoy good fish, enjoy good oysters whatever you would like to do, but again, the rest of the day, you know, skip that cereal with milk. Skip that, it’s not good for you.
Captain Brien: What do you do when the people say, “I’m so hungry, “I can’t concentrate, I can’t do it.” How long can they fast for?
Dr. Daller: So I don’t recommend starting with 16 hours. I recommend starting with, slowly, you know. Instead of you normally have breakfast at seven, now move it to eight and then move it to nine o’clock and ten o’clock and eleven o’clock and then noontime and all of a sudden you’re not even hungry at noontime. And you realize that, you know what, I’m really not hungry.
Captain Brien: Yeah.
Dr. Daller: And, Brien, trust me it’s wonderful. It’s wonderful for your body, it’s wonderful to get rid of the belly fat, it’s wonderful for most diseases such as diabetes and everything else, coronary artery disease. And, again, Alzheimer and dementia and other, I mean, now they’re working on Parkinson disease and other neurological diseases. Some people say, “How do you explain that?” so I always look, you know, anything I say in biology I need to have an explanation. So just think about it, 5,000 years ago, 3,000 years ago, when you were hungry, or you are an animal and you are hungry your brain has to be sharp to find food. You cannot say you know what, I’m going to become, you know, I’m not going to be–
Captain Brien: It’s this your theory or is this real?
Dr. Daller: This is my theory. Completely my theory, but I need to explain to myself–
Captain Brien: I like it, it’s a good idea!
Dr. Daller: I need to explain to myself, I’m saying, okay, you know thousands of years ago when we hunt–
Captain Brien: ‘Cause you gotta be a sharp hunter.
Dr. Daller: I have to be sharper hunter when I’m hungry. When I’m not hungry, when I’m sitting down I already have my food in my mouth, you’re not that sharp. But when you are hungry, same with animals, when they are hungry they become sharp, they have a strategy, how to attack the other animal, how to get the food, what to do to get to the water source, what to get to that food source.
Captain Brien: I like that idea. So when you–
Dr. Daller: I like the fact that you caught that it wasn’t based on science. It was based on my true beliefs.
Captain Brien: You sounded, it sounded legit as hell.
Dr. Daller: Sounded legit.
Captain Brien: I would say, this is a good idea.
Dr. Daller: That reality, no.
Captain Brien: We should–
Dr. Daller: It’s my theory completely, completely my theory.
Captain Brien: We could write a whole thesis on it.
Dr. Daller: Completely.
Captain Brien: Yeah. So what happens when you break the, you break the fast?
Dr. Daller: Sure.
Captain Brien: Should you be bummed out and not do it anymore?
Dr. Daller: No, no, no, no.
Captain Brien: Then you start it right back up? ‘Cause people want to do this.
Dr. Daller: Absolutely, so every day I do that and every day I break the fast, again, break fast, I break the fast around 12/12.30, I have my food. You know I try to eat healthy food. From time to time I cheat a little bit and I will have some dessert or whatever it is. No big deal, not the end of the world, live a life a little bit. And the next day it’s another day. And you know, this is a lifetime–
Captain Brien: What happens if one day you fast, you stop eating at 7 o’clock at night, you start eating the next day at 10 o’clock?
Dr. Daller: Sure.
Captain Brien: That’s.
Dr. Daller: And that’s, you know–
Captain Brien: It’s not set every day?
Dr. Daller: No, and you know what–
Captain Brien: You just try to go as long as possible?
Dr. Daller: No.
Captain Brien: What do you do?
Dr. Daller: I try to do 16 hours.
Captain Brien: 16 hours?
Dr. Daller: 16 hours. Sometime it’s 17 hours that I go fasting, sometimes 16–
Captain Brien: But what’s the breaking point? After 12 hours you starting burning?
Dr. Daller: You start burning. But the best, if you really want to burn, you know you want to shred, 16 hours ideal. Again, Brien, sometimes we have friends over for brunch, and you know, I start eating at 11. Not the end of the world, we are not fanatic here. We are just giving advice about–
Captain Brien: So do you stop eating then again, start again, or should you just eat your normal day and then–
Dr. Daller: No, I would start having my brunch at 11 and I will have, you know, in my Bloody Mary with Captain Brien vodka, you know it’s delicious–
Captain Brien: Very good, very good.
Dr. Daller: Absolutely, it’s nutritious.
Captain Brien: It is, it’s sugar-free, gluten-free, all organic, all natural, did you know that?
Dr. Daller: And a good mixture for the Bloody Mary, of course, and all the vegetables inside, right?
Captain Brien: Yeah.
Dr. Daller: So you feel like you have a garden variety there. And then we’re going to have whatever we have for the brunch. But I may stop eating at 7pm instead of 8pm that day.
Captain Brien: But what happens if you break it, say you planned on fasting that day and you wake up and you just, without even thinking, you go and get coffee and a fricken’ Egg McMuffin? And all of a sudden, like, it’s the morning. Do you stop eating now again until maybe like, try to go during the day? Or no, it’s too hard during the day?
Dr. Daller: I think you ruined it with the Egg McMuffin.
Captain Brien: Done, right, done?
Dr. Daller: It’s done. So, you know what, and you know in medicine we say, “From time to time shit happens.” And shit happens, you know, from time to time you have, you’re in an airport and there’s nothing else to eat besides McDonald, whatever it is, so you do it.
Captain Brien: That’s very scientific.
Dr. Daller: Very scientific.
Captain Brien: Shit happens.
Dr. Daller: Shit happens. So I’m sure there’s a study about shit happens. So, from time to time, shit happens and you move on and you continue. The next day is another day, not the end of the world. We are not fanatic here. Human beings survived and animals survived, who survived? The one that were malleable, the one that were able to adjust. The one that were strict and were not able to adjust they don’t survive, so you know–
Captain Brien: How many days can you be successful? Can you fast for four days a week if you do 12 to 16-hour fasting? Or what?
Dr. Daller: I fast every day, every day I fast for 16 hours. But you can do it five/six days a week and the rest you don’t. But again, I want it to be a lifestyle of people that they are going to say, “You know what, “that’s very doable, I can do this.” The reason diet is such a big–
Captain Brien: A breakfast, we’re not sponsored apparently by any breakfast restaurants.
Dr. Daller: No, the Denny’s don’t like us at all.
Captain Brien: We are not sponsored by IHOP, apparently.
Dr. Daller: IHOP for sure, they don’t like us. But again, it has to be a lifestyle. It has to be something that you are going to understand and it makes sense to you and you can do it. The reason, you know the diet industry is huge in America because people gain weight and lose weight and lose weight and gain weight and everybody writes a book how to do it. And then everybody is selling you food. You cannot buy that, that food you should buy at Publix, at Whole Food, at Fresh Market, wherever you buy. Walmart, wherever you buy your food.
Captain Brien: So you shouldn’t eat Lean Cuisines all day?
Dr. Daller: You should not, absolutely not, because again–
Captain Brien: Or Jenny Craig?
Dr. Daller: It will never work.
Captain Brien: It doesn’t.
Dr. Daller: It’ll work for the short term.
Captain Brien: No way.
Dr. Daller: Short term it always works. When you cut your calories it will work. But again, what’s going to happen? You’re going to go back to pizza, that will never work. And again, I have nothing against pizza. I want people to understand that. From time to time, you know, this weekend we went to, in Naples we went to True Food Kitchen.
Captain Brien: Oh yeah, I know.
Dr. Daller: And we had a pizza, it was delicious. But we order one pizza and we were four people and each one of us had a slice and and a half and it was fantastic.
Captain Brien: And then the server came and said, “Hey, are you gonna pick and spend some money, what, what’s going on? Jesus, what can I get you, four waters split three ways?
Dr. Daller: I know!
Captain Brien: Poor guy, oh my God!
Dr. Daller: No, we had other food too.
Captain Brien: Okay.
Dr. Daller: That was very close.
Captain Brien: Phew!
Dr. Daller: We didn’t just come four people.
Captain Brien: Jeez!
Dr. Daller: Oh, that’s funny.
Captain Brien: Did you tell ’em, “I’m dining, thank you, we’re fasting!” And the guy looks at you and says, “What’d you come “to my restaurant for, you son of a bitch?”
Dr. Daller: Fasting time!
Captain Brien: Jeez! Nah, that’s the greatest, when you have somebody come on as, “Today, I’m on the Atkin’s diet.” “Oh, you’re gonna eat 12 pounds of meat in my house?” “Oh, okay, let me cook two pounds “of bacon extra for breakfast.” Tomorrow, you’re not on that diet but today you’re on that diet. Drives me crazy. I’ve got a guy coming up against, coming up behind me with lights on, let me let him go.
Dr. Daller: Oh, it’s a–
Captain Brien: It’s a, like an ambulance, yeah.
Dr. Daller: Ambulance, ambulance, all right. Somebody was not doing intermittent fasting.
Captain Brien: Yeah, that’s what happens–
Dr. Daller: That’s what happens! That’s what happens when you don’t–
Captain Brien: That’s what happens, right away.
Dr. Daller: Do intermittent fasting, there’s an ambulance behind you.
Captain Brien: So with the intermittent fasting you do a lotta water?
Dr. Daller: Plenty of water, water is extremely important. Nobody drinks enough water, I don’t drink enough water. I try to push water and water and water.
Captain Brien: Yeah, I’m the same.
Dr. Daller: So what do I do in order to drink a little bit more water? I cut some slice of lime or lemon or orange or tangerine in my water, or put mint in my water to give it a little hint, a little flavor, so it will feel like I want to drink more.
Captain Brien: I just saw this, supposedly the Olympic athletes are doing it, where you, it’s a powder that you add to your water, and it makes you retain three times the amount of water that you would normally. Have you heard about this?
Dr. Daller: No, I mean–
Captain Brien: We should look into it.
Dr. Daller: We should look into that.
Captain Brien: So it’s something that, so for every glass of water that you drink it’s as healthy as drinking three glasses of water?
Dr. Daller: Let’s look into it.
Captain Brien: We need to find out.
Dr. Daller: And then we get back to the audience next week.
Captain Brien: Okay, we’ll talk about it.
Dr. Daller: Absolutely.
Captain Brien: Yeah.
Dr. Daller: That sounds interesting even though I don’t believe all the chemicals, I don’t like chemicals, but we’ll see. Maybe it’s good chemicals?
Captain Brien: Maybe it’s good stuff?
Dr. Daller: You never know. It’s good stuff, made in China stuff, you know.
Captain Brien: Oh, well guys.
Dr. Daller: Chinese chemicals.
Captain Brien: I hope you learned a little bit about the Captain, on the Captain’s log today. Dr Daller’s a big fan of the fasting. I’m a big fan of the fasting and now I’m just gonna have to do more. I can’t eat a pizza tonight, that’s all, no pizza. No pizza for you either, doctor. Don’t go to True Food and get ten people one pizza. It’s not gonna work. The poor guy can’t make any money, the server.
Dr. Daller: I know, I know.
Captain Brien: You gotta–
Dr. Daller: We left on a good thing, very good thing.
Captain Brien: Okay I believe it, I believe it everything. Thanks buddy.
Dr. Daller: Thank you so much.
Captain Brien: We’re good, we’re good. Have a good day guys, we’ll see you tomorrow.
Dr. Daller: Bye bye.
Captain Brien: We’re live, Hank Denson. Pay Teachers More Money comedy tour, Hank Denson’s live with you tomorrow on the channel.
On this special Valentine’s Day podcast, Captain Brien joins The Man Panel on B103.9! The Man Panel is taking callers questions regarding Valentine’s Day and relationship advice! Tune into hear the Captain’s Advice when it comes to Valentines Day, relationships, dating and love!
Siri can now help you listen to your favorite podcasts! Say things like “play The Captains Log” or “play my newest podcasts.” You can also ask Siri about the podcast that is currently playing and request to be subscribed! Just tell Siri “subscribe to this show!”
Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.
The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!
Everyone’s favorite Mom from The Outnumbered Mother by Amy Hunter on the #captainslog! Don’t miss out on her live show at #offthehookcomedyclub Wednesday, January 28th! She is now here to bring you couples therapy!
Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.
The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!
Miss something on one of our episodes of the #naplescaptainslog? Don’t worry we got you covered! Here you will find a full transcript from this episode of the #naplescaptainslog!
Captain Brien: We’re back, live on The Captain’s Log. Amy Hunter and this is exciting cause we’re just a few days away from your live show.
Amy Hunter: I’m so excited for live show.
Amy Hunter: Couples therapy?
Amy Hunter: Yes.
Captain Brien: We’re gonna do some couples therapy? Tell me.
Amy Hunter: The last couple shows we did were really geared towards moms’ night out and my buddies who actually have penises were like we’re not being represented. I thought maybe you got trapped.
Captain Brien: I felt like I was freaking trapped, Jesus.
Amy Hunter: I went on a vacation with all of my friends on the internet last summer and we stayed in an AirBnB on this lake in Michigan. It was gorgeous, but there was like a bathroom downstairs with a pocket door and everyone kept getting trapped in the bathroom.
Amy Hunter: We kept texting each other like help, trapped in the bathroom and it’s embarrassing enough that it’s a bathroom but usually if you went down to the basement to go to the bathroom you were probably going number two.
Amy Hunter: So it’s just so embarrassing.
Captain Brien: Yeah, you’re getting out of the way.
Amy Hunter: How emasculating. You’re like get me outta here.
Captain Brien: That’s pretty bad too.
Amy Hunter: It was so bad
Amy Hunter: I was like I can’t believe y’all are still my friends after this weekend. We got stuck in a bathroom. Then you’re questioning your IQ.
Amy Hunter: You’re like how long is it to get out of a room.
Captain Brien: Running the shower.
Captain Brien: Turning the radio on. Oh, I’m just listening to the radio on my phone.
Amy Hunter: You had to life the door up and like that.
Amy Hunter: It was not my best moment.
Captain Brien: That’s funny.
Amy Hunter: We’re all sharing the text messages from each other like help, it’s me.
Amy Hunter: I’m downstairs.
Captain Brien: So how often do you text when you’re using the bathroom?
Amy Hunter: You mean actually have conversations with people?
Captain Brien: Yeah, do you text a lot?
Amy Hunter: I scroll. I will scroll like nobody’s business and I’ll comment on things online. I mean I guess I do text sometimes. I don’t know. Not often am I texting. In general I’m not texting a lot.
Captain Brien: The other day I was texting somebody and then they called me and they’re like you sound like you’re in the bathroom and I’m like well that’s good cause I am.
Amy Hunter: I am.
Captain Brien: That’s the reason why I was texting you.
Amy Hunter: I was texting you.
Captain Brien: Why are you calling me?
Amy Hunter: I have a degree of friendships. If you’re a really really good friend I will answer the phone in the bathroom.
Captain Brien: Okay, okay.
Amy Hunter: If you’re a very good friend if I have to pee I will not get off the phone with you.
Amy Hunter: And I will pee with you on the phone, but if you’re an acquaintance I won’t answer when you call.
Captain Brien: It’s not happening.
Amy Hunter: If I’m in the potty, no. But also being a mom you don’t get alone time.
Captain Brien: Cause then you have to hit the mute when you flush.
Captain Brien: Right? And they’re like hey are you there? Yeah, I’m here.
Amy Hunter: I’m fine, totally.
Captain Brien: I just freaking ran in the other room after I flushed.
Amy Hunter:Totally. I couldn’t share with you what was going on.
Captain Brien: Hello, hello.
Amy Hunter: You couldn’t know at all.
Captain Brien: Moms do that, dads do it.
Amy Hunter: Dude. Well, you know I still have young kids so I haven’t been alone in the bathroom since 2005.
Amy Hunter: Right.
Captain Brien: They’re at the point now where if you actually close and lock the door they’ll just start shoving things like mom open this.
Amy Hunter: I’m like, what?
Captain Brien: Oh, they want you to do that right away?
Amy Hunter: Yeah, I’m like you know you have a dad. He is here somewhere.
Captain Brien: Exactly.
Amy Hunter: He has hands. My husband’s doing this new thing and I think that happens when you get a little bit older, is that he could fall asleep anywhere.
Captain Brien: Oh, really?
Amy Hunter: He’s a narcoleptic.
Captain Brien: I’m the worst, I’m the opposite.
Amy Hunter: I can’t fall asleep.
Captain Brien: Fall asleep ever.
Amy Hunter: I have to take an Ambien.
Amy Hunter: Two Benadryls. Some over the counter thing and I’m still sitting there going oh, remember that time in third grade when you called your teacher mom.
Amy Hunter: I can’t even fall asleep ever.
Captain Brien: Last night, I didn’t wanna take a Benadryl but I was having an allergy attack.
Amy Hunter: So it was totally productive.
Captain Brien: I’m not supposed to eat soy. Like an idiot I ate a teriyaki chicken rice bowl or something, it’s all soy.
Amy Hunter: The whole thing, right.
Amy Hunter: What’s the thing with soy are you allergic to it?
Captain Brien: Yeah, I’m allergic to soy.
Amy Hunter: Oh, that’ll do it.
Captain Brien: Teriyaki sauce is made with soy sauce, right. It’s all soy. So like an idiot I ate it. All night I was suffering, sneezing. I’m like I’m not gonna take a Benadryl cause there’s no way I can wake up and go to the gym in the morning. After I take a Benadryl it kills me.
Amy Hunter: It really kicks your ass. It kills me.
Amy Hunter: Not me.
Captain Brien: No? You’re fine?
Amy Hunter: With an Ambien, and a Benadryl.
Captain Brien: And a Bendaryl?
Amy Hunter: And an over the counter sleep aid.
Captain Brien: Oh, you’re hardcore.
Amy Hunter: Dude, and I have to have headphones on with an Ambien app.
Captain Brien: Yeah, but you’re drinking coffee right now.
Amy Hunter: Yeah, I started at six.
Amy Hunter: If I get six hours of sleep, it’s go time.
Captain Brien: You’re ready to go.
Amy Hunter: Dude, I would make the world’s worst hostage.
Captain Brien: Ever.
Amy Hunter: Dude!
Captain Brien: They would be giving you back?
Amy Hunter: Sleep deprived, I will tell you all the secrets.
Amy Hunter: I will tell you everything.
Amy Hunter: Let me spill.
Captain Brien: You just start right away?
Amy Hunter: After 24 hours of no sleep? Blah.
Captain Brien: Boop!
Amy Hunter: I’m like, state secrets.
Captain Brien: It comes out.
Amy Hunter: I’d be the shittiest CIA operative ever.
Amy Hunter: Every time I watch Homeland and they make the Clara Danes character look like the hottest mess ever I’m like nope, I’d be worse.
Captain Brien: My daughter would be the best.
Amy Hunter: Yeah? She has a poker face and stuff.
Captain Brien: When she was three you couldn’t get it out of her.
Amy Hunter: Woo.
Captain Brien: If you’re gonna rob a bank you take her.
Amy Hunter: Really?
Captain Brien: Yeah, she’s like key, vault. Nothing’s coming out.
Amy Hunter: I don’t know how I’d feel as a dad with that.
Captain Brien: Yeah, it’s tough. It’s tough. One time she drank cough syrup–
Captain Brien: When she was little, and she reeked of cough syrup. You’d notice now, right?
She’s wearing lipstick around her face. You didn’t touch the lipstick?
Captain Brien: She’s like nope, didn’t do it. Nope. I’m like Briana.
Captain Brien: You know that I can smell the cough syrup. Nope, never happened.
Amy Hunter: She’s taking it to the grave.
Captain Brien: Yeah. She still says she didn’t do it.
Amy Hunter: You know, I admire her commitment though.
Captain Brien: Oh my god.
Amy Hunter: Because if you’re going to do it take it to the next level. You have to stick with the lie. You have to. Even my friend, someone I knew or something was cheating, he still to this day is like never happened. Never happened. She’s like you had her panties in your car!
Captain Brien: Of course.
Amy Hunter: No. You gotta commit to the lie.
Captain Brien: You just gotta keep going with it.
Amy Hunter: I’m not good. I’m not good at that kinda stuff.
Captain Brien: You give it up right away.
Amy Hunter: Well because I find the more lies you tell the better of a memory you have to have and I suck with that. I can’t remember your name 20 minutes after I met you. I’m like who? What?
Captain Brien: I think the good liars, and I know a few really good ones, they just believe it.
Amy Hunter: Yes. Oh yeah, because they’re sociopaths.
Captain Brien: They believe what they’re saying. I’m like that’s not how this happened!
Captain Brien: What are you talking about? But in their mind they’re clearly like no this is exactly what happened.
Amy Hunter: But I know it didn’t.
Captain Brien: Okay.
Amy Hunter: I was there.
Captain Brien: I was there. That’s nowhere near the way it worked.
Amy Hunter: It’s hard to argue with someone like that.
Captain Brien: It’s so hard. You can’t.
Amy Hunter: See I have a– It was recently pointed out to me I am argumentative. I did not know I was argumentative. I thought that I was just strong and
Amy Hunter: You know, a little, maybe high strung. Took an Uber the other night, downtown Naples to go out to eat. We get in the car. Of course I had to sit shotgun cause my friends hate other people. I don’t hate people. So we get this Uber driver, who’s a chick, and I was all into that because we never get chick Uber drivers. She has on a 90’s, 80’s station. I’m like oh, yes, love this song. It’s Vanilla Ice. Ice, Ice, Baby.
Captain Brien: Oh yeah!
Amy Hunter: We’re all dressed to go out.
Captain Brien: By the way he was my neighbor for a while.
Amy Hunter: Nice! Was he a nice guy?
Captain Brien: He never talked to me once. But he did wash his Mustang 5.0 convertible with his shirt off in the driveway.
Amy Hunter: Ooh, and that did something for you?
Captain Brien: No!
Amy Hunter: Oh.
Captain Brien: It was before Instagram. I should’ve taken a picture.
Amy Hunter: You should’ve. Robert Van Winkle whatever. So this lady, Ice Ice Baby’s on, and she goes yeah, I know. I like this song too. She goes it’s a shame that Billy Joel sued him, for the rights to that bassline. I’m like no, no Billy Joel didn’t sue him.
Amy Hunter: Right, I just got confused. It wasn’t Billy Joel. It was Queen and it was Bowie. She goes no, no. Hundred percent it was Billy Joel.
Captain Brien: Wait, the Uber girl?
Amy Hunter: Uber girl!
Captain Brien: Oh! Jesus.
Amy Hunter: She decides to take on the Long Islander. We knew Billy Joel songs more than we know National fucking Anthem.
Amy Hunter: I mean honestly, you don’t question a Long Island girl with Billy Joel.
Captain Brien: Sure.
Amy Hunter: I can sing The Stranger, the entire album, front to back to you right now. Glass Houses, hi. I’m like no, no, no, no. I just start googling and my friends hate confrontation. They’re in the back seat like cringing.
Captain Brien: Wait were they like Amy’s doing it again?
Amy Hunter: No, when we got out of the car, of course I was freaking right and proved it. She was like oh I can’t believe you were right. I’m like don’t take on the master, homie, don’t. They’re like get out of the car, and the one friend goes you are kind of argumentative. I said but she was wrong!
Captain Brien: It wasn’t an argument. You just had the facts right.
Amy Hunter: That’s the thing. Opinion versus facts. They’re two separate things. The sky is blue. My eyes are green. Billy Joel did not sue Vanilla Ice.
Captain Brien: Vanilla, yeah.
Amy Hunter: Dude, don’t test me on a fact. I’ll cut you, obviously. Poor Uber lady. She gave me one star. She rated me.
Captain Brien: I believe it.
Amy Hunter: Thanks a lot.
Captain Brien: I believe it. What kind of car was she driving?
Amy Hunter: It was a Honda, no big. I mean I haven’t really gotten an Uber situation where the car is really great, have you?
Captain Brien: No, but I do see that funny prank all the time and I keep watching it.
Amy Hunter: Which one?
Captain Brien: You haven’t seen the guy that picks everyone up in the Lambo? You haven’t seen it?
Amy Hunter: I have not seen that.
Captain Brien: Oh, it’s great! He’s like Uber! They’re like what? This is my Uber?
Captain Brien: He’s like yeah, Uber.
Captain Brien: Come on I got you, I got you.
Captain Brien: Then when they’re driving he says something to them like you want me to go really fast
Captain Brien: Or really slow or something like that and everyone’s like go really fast. Then he pins them to the seat and they’re like oh my god!
Amy Hunter: Wait but Uber tells you what kind of car is coming for you.
Captain Brien: I don’t know maybe it says it like on there.
Amy Hunter: See, you have to be the most gullible human being just to get into anyone’s car.
Captain Brien: But he really is Ubering.
Amy Hunter: Oh, okay that’s different.
Captain Brien: Yeah, he’s really picking them up.
Amy Hunter: Okay, so it’s not a prank, he just has a Lambo.
Captain Brien: No, it’s their real Uber.
Amy Hunter: Okay, alright.
Captain Brien: He does it, you know it’s like a pranky kinda funny thing.
Amy Hunter: That’s funny.
Captain Brien: He doesn’t do it all the time.
Amy Hunter: Why would you do that to your Lambo?
Captain Brien: The guy that was the Uber driver was like alright. He’s getting a freaking Lambo.
Amy Hunter: That’s so funny. That’s good. I really need to look that up.
Captain Brien: It’s a good move.
Amy Hunter: Is it in town?
Amy Hunter: Cause I need to get up on that.
Captain Brien: No, no. It’s definitely not right here.
Amy Hunter: I’ll Uber everywhere just to maybe get the Lambo.
Captain Brien: Yeah, no. No, no, no, it’s not. But you could go to Full Throttle Exotics. My buddy, Joe, will hook you up. You could get a Lambo anytime. On my budget, I am totally set for a Lambo. It’s a very practical car for children and car seats.
Captain Brien: Hey Kelsey, what’s going on?
Amy Hunter: Hi, how are you?
Captain Brien: Kelsey’s my box office manager. She’s saying hello to us.
Amy Hunter: Hi, and Marie.
Captain Brien: And Marie. Yes, yes.
Amy Hunter: Hey girl, hey.
Captain Brien: So we’re in Naples, Florida. We’re getting ready for Wednesday night’s show.
Amy Hunter: So excited.
Captain Brien: What time’s the show? 7 o’clock?
Amy Hunter: 7 o’clock.
Captain Brien: Who’s on the show?
Amy Hunter: I have four other amazing comics coming in.
Captain Brien: I should know this, why am I asking you?
Amy Hunter: Yeah, you really should know this.
Captain Brien: I’m terrible.
Amy Hunter: I have Shannon Kelly from I think Tampa, and Aneeria’s coming in from Tampa, Neera Tourney. Who else is?
Captain Brien: Is Marie Annette on this one?
Amy Hunter: No, Marie Annette decided not to do this one cause she has a show up in Fort Myers going on.
Amy Hunter: Okay, good.
Amy Hunter: Who else was it? Oh my god, I’m forgetting. Nancy Francis.
Captain Brien: Oh yeah, Nancy’s very funny.
Amy Hunter: Right, and I had to get her out of hiding to come back and do this show. She actually just auditioned for America’s Got Talent. So we’re waiting to hear.
Captain Brien: Good for her, that’s great.
Amy Hunter: She’ll know by Wednesday.
Captain Brien: That’s great, that’s great.
Amy Hunter: I’m forgetting someone really good and I’m totally pissed–
Captain Brien: There is one more coming.
Amy Hunter: Cause she really made me laugh.
Captain Brien: And you host it.
Amy Hunter: I am hosting.
Captain Brien: That’s great.
Amy Hunter: I’m doing the top end. It’s a great show.
Captain Brien: It is.
Amy Hunter: It’s just a really good vibe. It’s loose. It ends up being like a high school reunion of sorts. It’s like Amy, this is your life. Everybody comes out of the woodwork, and I love that. The only funny thing for me is every time I do a show with my hometown crowd, most comics take their set and they work on it for years. They take the same set, they work on it for years, and I can’t do the same set for a hometown crowd. So, it’s always a whole new thing.
Captain Brien: That’s great.
Amy Hunter: Some people don’t come thinking I’m doing the same set, and that’s not true. It’s always good.
Captain Brien: Well no, because this is about the couples, right?
Amy Hunter: Right. This is about marriage, relationships, it’s about lots of stuff. Parenting, family, being a gal. We could bitch about so much. A girlfriend of mine and I were just talking when I was on my way here, about how if a white girl had a signature drink, you know what it would be.
Captain Brien: What would it be?
Amy Hunter: It would be a vodka soda water.
Captain Brien: Yeah because there’s no cals, no calories.
Amy Hunter: Right, bartenders see me coming and they’re already pouring. It’s either that or a white claw. That’s our signature drink.
Captain Brien: Now you could drink Captain Brien’s because it’s sugar free.
Amy Hunter: I’m so excited about the Captain Brien.
Captain Brien: Sugar free, gluten free.
Amy Hunter: Vodka and rum.
Captain Brien: And I have a white rum coming as well.
Amy Hunter: Now what’s the difference in taste between a white and a dark rum? Is there a difference?
Captain Brien: Yeah, well the dark rum that we have is barrel-aged and we infuse it with vanilla beans and tobacco leaves.
Amy Hunter: Ew.
Captain Brien: That has a little bit darker, more rich flavor. Especially smokey from the barrels, because the barrels are bourbon barrels.
Amy Hunter: This is all in my wheelhouse.
Captain Brien: Then the white is just really clean, organic, white rum that comes out with the gin. I have a gin, but I couldn’t do anything for like six weeks because of the government shutdown. It’s been in the system just pending. It just keeps saying still pending, still pending, still pending.
Amy Hunter: That was a messy 35 days. Everyone’s fine with it until it messes up your air travel.
Captain Brien: I heard today six billion dollars lost in the economy.
Amy Hunter: Yeah lost, you know that makes sense.
Captain Brien: That’s a lot.
Amy Hunter: That’s exactly the wall money.
Captain Brien: That’s a lot.
Amy Hunter: Can we just slip it over there, there we go.
Captain Brien: Yeah, that’s a lot.
Amy Hunter: Yeah, you know, it’s a pissing contest, gotta love it.
Captain Brien: It is.
Amy Hunter: The fact that it upset your apple cart–
Amy Hunter: That makes me really mad.
Captain Brien: I can’t do anything because everyday it just says–
Amy Hunter: Waiting, waiting.
Captain Brien: pending, pending, pending.
Amy Hunter: Now it’s over and you’ve got three weeks to get your shit together before it comes again.
Captain Brien: I heard that they’re six months behind now.
Captain Brien: Which is weird. How can you be six weeks of work and that puts you six months behind?
Amy Hunter: Bad logged, I don’t know how that works but someone’s doing a slow thing at their job.
Captain Brien: Right?
Amy Hunter: You’re talking about with your booze.
Captain Brien: Yeah, they’re saying that the approvals.
Amy Hunter: Oh, they’re talking about federal government approvals?
Captain Brien: Yeah, yeah.
Amy Hunter: Well you knew how the federal government works. This surprises you?
Captain Brien: Yeah because the ATF, the alcohol, tobacco, and firearms, has to give the final signature sign off–
Amy Hunter: Makes sense.
Captain Brien: On the product before they put it on the shelf.
Amy Hunter: I worked for the government at one point.
Captain Brien: You did?
Amy Hunter: I worked for DCF.
Captain Brien: What’d you do? Oh, DCF.
Amy Hunter: Mhmm, and they are slow.
Captain Brien: Yeah, they are.
Amy Hunter: Everything is very slow. You’re watching the wheels just spin, like a gerbil, on them. It was not a good job.
Captain Brien: You can’t fire it up, speed up? How do you not speed things up? I just don’t understand.
Amy Hunter: I couldn’t personally do it.
Captain Brien: Why?
Amy Hunter: I had 60 to 75 kids on my caseload at any one given time.
Captain Brien: That’s a lot.
Amy Hunter: Right, and that’s everyone in the system, and I was in foster care so I had to go and make sure they were okay. Well let’s say driving time and visit time takes you an hour per kid. Working a full work week of 40 hours a week, you do the math. Can’t get to everyone.
Captain Brien: So what happens?
Amy Hunter: They fall through the cracks.
Captain Brien: They do?
Amy Hunter: Yeah.
Captain Brien: Oh, that’s so sad though.
Amy Hunter: It was a very sad job, and I didn’t have children yet. I would get in my office and cry. My boss would come and knock on the–
Captain Brien: Are they pushing though? Are they really pushing or are they chill?
Amy Hunter: I don’t know how the system is now.
Captain Brien: How were they? Were they like we gotta do this today?
Amy Hunter: There are state mandated things. If a kid’s in a certain status you have to go see them at this time. Cause they are the most threatened, the most in a situation that’s terrible. But there’s so many fake calls like divorce proceedings and people are like oh I found a bruise on my kid’s bottom. Come on, that’s not a real thing. Stop fighting and get your shit together.
Captain Brien: So then you’d have to go.
Amy Hunter: And make it through the whole system when it’s not a huge, real problem. Does the kid have welts on his face? Have you lit him on fire?
Amy Hunter: There were kids that were really messed up.
Captain Brien: Oh my god.
Amy Hunter: It was a terrible, terrible time.
Captain Brien: That’s so sad, that is sad.
Amy Hunter: All I ever wanted to do work with students. I was like how did I get here.
Captain Brien: So you studied what in college?
Amy Hunter: I was secondary english education major.
Captain Brien: I have no idea what that means.
Amy Hunter: That means I can teach school. In a high school or a middle school level.
Captain Brien: That’s good, that’s good.
Amy Hunter: I can do nothing else. I also know the proper way to conjugate the word there.
Captain Brien: Wait you can’t do anything else because?
Amy Hunter: I’m just kidding.
Captain Brien: I don’t, I don’t. I’m very bad at that. There, they’re, what else is there?
Amy Hunter: To, too, and two.
Captain Brien: Terrible at those.
Captain Brien: I’m terrible at those.
Amy Hunter: I think most people walking around are terrible at those.
Captain Brien: I think so too but everyone wants to point it out.
Amy Hunter: Especially on the internet.
Captain Brien: They so do.
Amy Hunter: Cause if you say something stupid on the internet I’ll just come in and go there.
Captain Brien: Well that’s me. I do it probably half the time. But you know what, I don’t point out what you do everyday.
Captain Brien: For real.
Amy Hunter: It’s so easy though. It’s like the ultimate shutdown. I think that forever people have been screwing up those conjugations, but because now everyone’s typing on the internet, you’re just seeing it now. I don’t think this is new.
Captain Brien: When you dictate it, is it right?
Amy Hunter: It depends.
Captain Brien: When you text to talk?
Amy Hunter: It depends.
Captain Brien: I just go with it.
Amy Hunter: I don’t use text to talk a lot.
Captain Brien: You don’t?
Amy Hunter: No because then I’m asking my husband to pick up milk and now it’s asking him to pick up a stripper and it’s very convoluted. He thinks he needs a breastfeeding mother at home. He’s like milk from a boobie?
Captain Brien: What is this?
Captain Brien: Milk in a movie, you’re like hey!
Amy Hunter: Most problems in any relationship are due to bad communication. You misunderstood what they meant.
Captain Brien: When you get home, do you talk about the whole day?
Amy Hunter: My husband and I? We take a 20 minute, we attempt.
Captain Brien: Wait, you literally have times?
Amy Hunter: No. We try.
Captain Brien: Really?
Amy Hunter: Then the kids are like Daddy, Daddy.
Captain Brien: I wondered why I failed.
Amy Hunter: He’s like can I just have a minute with Mom?
Amy Hunter: Well we actually kind of sometimes like each other, you know what I’m saying?
Captain Brien: Yeah.
Amy Hunter: Believe you me, there are sometimes that he looks at me with disdain.
Amy Hunter: He’s just like mhmm, yeah, okay, great day. I was telling him the other day about going to the auto parts store and he was like really?
Captain Brien: What’d you go to the auto parts store for?
Amy Hunter: This is funny. So I needed new windshield wipers, but of course like a normal woman I waited until it was pissing raining to actually go.
Captain Brien: Of course and you’re like damn I can’t see.
Amy Hunter: Everyday I’m like I need new windshield wipers. Then it’s torrential downpour and I’m like oh, shit.
Amy Hunter: Shit just got real. I go to the advanced auto parts store. I get in there, and I am a moron in there. I don’t know what I’m doing. For men it’s like a Bed, Bath, and Beyond. It was like a scene from Clerks. This guy’s behind the counter, it’s all dusty and gross, I had just come from the gym. I’m like hi, I need new windshield wipers. He’s like okay. I’m like when it goes upward you can’t see. He’s like yeah I’m not a doctor.
Amy Hunter: He’s like what kind of car, I tell him. He’s like what’s the make, what’s the model, what’s the year? I’m like I don’t know the year. He’s like really? I had to go run out in the rain, come back in, whole deal.
Captain Brien: Wait, you did it?
Amy Hunter: I had to go out and find out.
Captain Brien: You had to read the VIN number?
Amy Hunter: No, I just looked at my insurance thing.
Captain Brien: Oh okay.
Amy Hunter: So I get back in and he looks it up. I’m like you don’t just know this by heart? This is all you do. So now I’m judging him, he’s upset.
Captain Brien: Of course, right away.
Amy Hunter: Right away, bam.
Captain Brien: You’re not confrontational though.
Amy Hunter: No, I’m not argumentative.
Captain Brien:No, you’re not argumentative.
Amy Hunter: I don’t know what everyone’s talking about. This is not a me problem, this is a you problem.
Captain Brien: No, no this is him, he should’ve totally known every make and model.
Amy Hunter: No smile, no smile, and I’m all doo, doo doo. So he goes okay, they’re size 26 and a size 18. He goes you know, they’re not the same size. I’m like oh like boobs. Just like that. This poor guy. He keeps having a #metoo moment. I literally sexually harassed him in the workplace.
Captain Brien: Yeah, you did.
Amy Hunter: He had this face on that was like either this is an episode of Undercover Boss–
Captain Brien: Right. I’m not supposed to say a damn thing.
Amy Hunter: He didn’t say a damn thing. I was like I’m sorry I made it awkward. I’m just gonna go over here and get my windshield wipers and get outta here.
Captain Brien:He didn’t put them on.
Amy Hunter: Well that’s the other thing. There are signs everywhere that says free installation, free installation, free installation.
Captain Brien: Right, but he didn’t offer.
Amy Hunter: He did not offer and I’m standing there and I’m like hey how do I put these on in the store.
Captain Brien: Oh get outta here!
Amy Hunter: Because I really was gonna do it myself and he’s like well, I guess I can do it. I’m like it is raining, I get it. So he comes out, starts doing it, and he wants to get away from me as fast as possible. He is over me. I got my umbrella and I put it over his head and he was surprised that I’m actually nice. I’m like but you have to work all day. I’m not gonna make you be all wet. I can go home and change. He’s like that was actually very nice. I’m like I swear I’m not a sexual predator.
Captain Brien: Boobs are uneven. They’re not the same size.
Captain Brien: This is true. So wait, there’s two separate sizes?
Amy Hunter: Mm, usually left is bigger.
Captain Brien: No not the boobs the windshield wipers!
Amy Hunter: Yes, of course! Put your windshield wipers up, they’re different sizes, it depends on the car.
Captain Brien: Why is the left bigger than the right?
Amy Hunter: In general on boobs?
Captain Brien: Yeah.
Amy Hunter: Cause it’s over your heart.
Captain Brien: Awh.
Amy Hunter: And most people are righties. So you’re using this muscle more. I might be wrong on that part.
Captain Brien: I think you made that up.
Amy Hunter: I think the heart thing’s right.
Amy Hunter: Cause we talked about this.
Captain Brien: Well we learned something new today, guys. See on The Captain’s Log, its amazing.
Amy Hunter: I wanna hear what y’all say. Is it just my boobs? Cause if it’s my boobs I’ll take that.
Captain Brien: Yeah, your left is bigger than the right.
Amy Hunter: I’m not argumentative.
Captain Brien: Not at all.
Amy Hunter: I’m just proving I’m not right now.
Captain Brien: What do you do just pull the strap up more on the right?
Amy Hunter: No, just one hangs out a little bit more.
Captain Brien: Oh, alright.
Captain Brien: That’s good, that’s good.
Amy Hunter: That would be a great business. A bra that you can have two separate size cups.
Captain Brien: It could be a little dialer. You could dial it.
Amy Hunter: Such a man thing.
Captain Brien: You know how they dial it?
Amy Hunter: Like a Nike pump shoe?
Captain Brien: Yeah, when you dial it could get smaller and you could dial and open it up. Then you just put it right on.
Amy Hunter: Would you have a dial where your nipple is?
Captain Brien: No they could be two pieces of material and they dial like this, like that.
Amy Hunter: Such a man. Oh my god, I love you, B, but–
Captain Brien: Like this and like that.
Amy Hunter: Like this? Do you mean in the middle like a dial?
Captain Brien: No, on the cup.
Amy Hunter: You tell me when this comes out, ill try it.
Captain Brien: I’m gonna come up with it.
Amy Hunter: You show me when.
Captain Brien: It’s a million dollar idea. I’m giving it away. It’s freaking ridiculous.
Captain Brien: Everyone’s gonna copy it.
Amy Hunter: I told you that I had a great idea for a bra. It was called the Brocket, and it has a pocket in there for your phone. Someone already made it, but it’s not called the Brocket. That’s on me. I’m told I’m not supposed to put my phone in my bra. Its like bad for boobs.
Captain Brien: Did you get royalties on the Brocket?
Amy Hunter: I did not. Someone had already made it.
Captain Brien: Oh, dammit.
Amy Hunter: I know, I was really pissed.
Captain Brien: You got a little late to the party.
Amy Hunter: I started doing my due diligence. Looking it up, patenting the whole thing, trademark, and it was already there.
Captain Brien: Damn.
Amy Hunter: But they’re probably getting sued cause bras and phones don’t mix.
Captain Brien: What happens if you get one of those phones that overheats? Burns you right the hell off. Gone.
Amy Hunter: Dude. That sounds like my worst nightmare.
Captain Brien: That’s it.
Amy Hunter: Fire nipple, no. I’m good. I already have enough things. I don’t need that.
Captain Brien: It’s like hot milk.
Captain Brien: Hot boob?
Captain Brien: Hot milk. Hot milk. I don’t know.
Captain Brien: Alright, guys. We gotta go.
Amy Hunter: Brien’s killing me. It just got a little real.
Captain Brien: We gotta get outta here. See you later.
Guest Cora Bolds joins Captain Brien to discuss social media growth and influencing! Cora Bolds shares how she got started as a local social influencer and gives us her tips and tricks for social media growth! Ever wonder how you get the “swipe up” feature on Instagram? Tune in to hear!
Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.
The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!
Miss something on one of our episodes of the #naplescaptainslog? Don’t worry we got you covered! Here you will find a full transcript from this episode of the #naplescaptainslog!
Captain Brien: Hey guys, welcome back to the Captain’s Log. I have Cora Bolds, and she is a, not only you’re a local Instagram influencer, but you’ve been doing this everywhere. And now you’ve got a big event going on in Miami that you’re hosting. Tell me about it. It’s exciting.
Cora Bolds: Oh my gosh, it’s so exciting. So, I am hosting an event out at Segrado Cafe in Miami on Biscayne Boulevard. And I’m inviting local influencers that are going to network, have the opportunity to network and socialize with brands who are looking for influencers, as well as other influencers who are looking for other influencers to collaborate with themselves.
Captain Brien: So what do you do? I know that you do a lot of stuff with the Gram. You’re on the IG all the time.
Cora Bolds: I love the ‘Gram.
Captain Brien: And you’ve been growing your following, and you’ve been becoming this influencer. Tell me about how it started and what the goal is. And you have all these influencers, people might not know what influencers are.
Cora Bolds: Okay, so an influencer is a modern-day buzz agent, which would be considered somebody who influences the opinion of others. Before you go shopping, before you buy a new car, you might ask your friend, you know, I don’t know, tell me what to get, if you trust their opinion. Well, these influencers, these modern-day influencers are taking the opinion leaders and translating it into their own influence, and, you know, advertising to the general public as being the person to go to when you have questions about simple things like that. So, there’s a whole different, I mean, there’s so many things that I’ve done to get me to this point. There’s, I mean, between hashtags, and tagging people,
Captain Brien: Yeah.
Cora Bolds: It all started with the idea that I wanted to run a website. I wanted that creative outlet. I didn’t know the first steps to take. I didn’t even know how to design a website. I downloaded Squarespace. I created a template.
Captain Brien: Ah, did you do it? Did you make it?
Cora Bolds: I did it. I made a website.
Captain Brien: I’ve done that a few times, yeah.
Cora Bolds: It took awhile to get the hang of it, but I had to email them quite a few times to ask for very simple stupid questions. And they’re kind of like, you know, read the guide, but–
Captain Brien: Of course, yeah.
Cora Bolds: I finally got the hang of it. I’ve only been doing it now for about five months. So it is a work in progress, but it has been majorly successful.
Captain Brien: But you’ve, yeah, in five months, you’ve come a long way.
Cora Bolds: I have.
Captain Brien: You broke 10,000.
Cora Bolds: I broke 10,000 followers this past week.
Captain Brien: Which is huge.
Cora Bolds: Yeah.
Captain Brien: Because now you can do the swipe up.
Cora Bolds: I can do the swipe up.
Captain Brien: Everybody needs that.
Cora Bolds: Thank God.
Captain Brien: I’m still trying to get there on the Gram. Right?
Cora Bolds: The swipe up is the best feature, because it directs people directly to my website.
Captain Brien: Correct, yeah, cause then you can force people to go right to links that you are getting paid to send people.
Cora Bolds: Of Course! That’s the best part.
Captain Brien: But I know that, you know, we talked at lunch for a minute and you were saying that with the different brands that you representing and that you’re an influencer for, you don’t just take every brand on, I mean, right?
Cora Bolds: No of course not.
Captain Brien: You gotta do something that you love because people have to know you’re passionate about it.
Cora Bolds: Oh my gosh, yeah. And I turn down at least two to three deals a week because it’s just not the right fit for me. I’m not a swimsuit model. I’m not gonna sell your swimsuit products.
Captain Brien: Right, yeah.
Cora Bolds: I’m a wine-lover, you know, I love to be endorsing things that I love.
Captain Brien: You should love vodka and rum.
Cora Bolds: I love vodka and rum!
Captain Brien: I know a guy, I know a guy, right?
Cora Bolds: This guy, oh my gosh.
Captain Brien: So yeah, that’s what I think the whole world’s looking for these days, is someone to tell them that this product is legit or valuable or it works.
Cora Bolds: High quality, yeah, something.
Captain Brien: You know the Amazon reviews, that for me is huge.
Cora Bolds: Oh my gosh, Yelp is huge.
Captain Brien: Right? Oh you use Yelp?
Cora Bolds: No.
Captain Brien: Oh I’m a big thumbs down on Yelp.
Cora Bolds: Not anymore.
Captain Brien: No, I hate it. I think it’s so fake.
Cora Bolds: I’m deleting Yelp.
Captain Brien: The thing about Yelp is, honestly, is that it’s a money game, all’s it is. You can have a gazillion reviews out there that they don’t pass through, because you’re not an advertiser.
Cora Bolds: Right.
Captain Brien: So, they’ll pass through the negative reviews and a few positive reviews, and they’ll pass through all the negative reviews and a few positive reviews, and then they’ll contact you and say hey, we noticed you were getting a lot of negative reviews. But if you go and look in your queue, there’s like 200 positive reviews. And they claim that those people know you or they are affiliated with you.
Cora Bolds: Right.
Captain Brien: It’s a scam.
Cora Bolds: Yelp can be questionable.
Captain Brien: And now people like have already figured that out.
Cora Bolds: Yeah.
Captain Brien: You know, because I don’t believe in it at all. I think it’s a bunch of bull.
Cora Bolds: Yeah.
Captain Brien: Because why would you not let every review go through?
Cora Bolds: Right.
Captain Brien: Who are you to say that that review was not valid?
Cora Bolds: Of course.
Captain Brien: Right?
Cora Bolds: I agree with that.
Captain Brien: Yeah, so that’s why Yelp, I think, is getting I think they’ve lost it
Cora Bolds: A bad rap.
Captain Brien: Yeah, I think they lost their mojo lately because everyone realizes now, the businesses are like, well wait a minute. We have all these reviews on all these other sites, and unless I pay to be a Yelp advertiser, my reviews aren’t gonna be posted?
Cora Bolds: Of course, of course.
Captain Brien: It’s crazy. Like no.
Cora Bolds: Right, I’m not less of a human.
Captain Brien: You can do it if you want, you can do it if you want, that’s your business, right? Like, that’s great. That’s your business model, but you’re not gonna be the number one brand for reviews. I’m done with them.
Cora Bolds: Right, right.
Captain Brien:I’m done with Yelp.
Cora Bolds: Everybody’s deleting Yelp.
Captain Brien: Yes, get out!
Cora Bolds: 2019, delete Yelp.
Captain Brien: Go home.
Cora Bolds: I love it. So, you told me a couple fun things, right?
Captain Brien: Yeah.
Cora Bolds: Which I don’t know, if people really got into it and they wanted to become an influencer, tell me the things that you’re focusing on, obviously is with you’re tagging certain brands, I mean you’re not gonna tag Chili’s if you’re selling,
Captain Brien: Right.
Cora Bolds: I don’t know, right, so you have to tell people how does that work? Explain that.
Captain Brien: So, you wanna be as accurate as you can when hashtagging, when tagging, you know, if it’s an outfit.
Cora Bolds: And there’s a difference between hashtagging,
Captain Brien: Right.
Cora Bolds: And tagging.
Captain Brien: And tagging.
Cora Bolds: Hashtagging, you’re allowed 30.
Captain Brien: Allowed 30 on Instagram.
Cora Bolds: Right, and you can put those, you told me a good trick, though, you like to put yours in the comments.
Captain Brien: I like to put mine in the comments, because I think it keeps it clean
Cora Bolds: Which I like, yeah.
Captain Brien: It keeps your Instagram cleaner.
Cora Bolds: It keeps, clean, she loves the technical term.
Captain Brien: Yeah, I like clean.
Cora Bolds: Clean means when she posts, that the post is not,
Captain Brien: You’re not getting bombarded,
Cora Bolds: Yeah doesn’t have a ton of hashtags.
Captain Brien: Right, hashtags.
Cora Bolds: Hashtags.
Captain Brien: If you put them in the first comment, you still get found the same way.
Cora Bolds: Okay.
Captain Brien: Yeah.
Cora Bolds: So that’s a good tip.
Captain Brien: Yes.
Cora Bolds: I like that.
Captain Brien: You can use all 30, you know, why would you not increase, optimize the amount of traffic going to your page at all possible angles.
Cora Bolds: Right.
Captain Brien: Why wouldn’t you tag all 20 people in your photo,
Cora Bolds: And then tag the people in the photo.
Captain Brien: Yes, tag people.
Cora Bolds: So, I kinda get, I get tagged all the time. Is that why people are tagging me?
Captain Brien: Yeah, because they probably think people are going to your page, you know.
Cora Bolds: Yeah.
Captain Brien: They believe that you’re in some way an influencer and people are going to your page to look at what you’re doing, and they might check out your tagged photos, and they want that opportunity to be showcased there.
Cora Bolds: Gotcha, so, you think it’s okay, though, to tag as many people as you can up to 20?
Captain Brien: Oh yeah.
Cora Bolds: Always?
Captain Brien: Always. I always tag all 20.
Cora Bolds: And you post them right on top of each other?
Captain Brien: I put it right on top of each other, so that it’s not, when you click on the photo, you see a thousand, million tags.
Cora Bolds: Yeah, you do em boom, boom, boom.
Captain Brien: I put them right on top of each other, so you can still see my photo.
Cora Bolds: How bout the egg guy?
Captain Brien: The egg guy, oh my gosh, isn’t that, like,
Cora Bolds: It’s insane, right?
Captain Brien: He is crazy.
Captain Brien: He’s 19 years old. 19 years old, did you look at his tags?
Cora Bolds: I didn’t.
Captain Brien: You should look at his tags.
Cora Bolds: Are they funny?
Captain Brien: No, he tagged like CNN, he tagged Good Morning, America,
Cora Bolds: Yeah, he tagged-
Captain Brien: Mashable.
Cora Bolds: He knew what he was doing.
Captain Brien: He did know what he was doing.
Cora Bolds: He knew what he was doing.
Captain Brien: But, yet, he put them all over the place, which is cool, I get it, but he tagged Jimmy Fallon.
Cora Bolds: Oh my gosh.
Captain Brien: Like, he tagged a lot of accounts that I was like, interesting.
Cora Bolds: Big accounts, yeah.
Captain Brien: Yeah.
Cora Bolds: Yeah.
Captain Brien: And you feel like, I feel like, obviously that’s what helped,
Cora Bolds: Oh, yeah
Captain Brien: because why wouldn’t, I mean, there’s no way people are just gonna follow an egg.
Cora Bolds: Right, or maybe people just don’t like Kylie Jenner.
Captain Brien: I like Kylie, I like the Jenners.
Captain Brien: I don’t like the Kardashians.
Captain Brien: Why not?
Cora Bolds: Because they’re talentless.
Captain Brien:The Kardashians and the Jenners, I’m a fan of both.
Cora Bolds: I’m out here trying to make it, and they did nothing.
Captain Brien: No, that’s not true.
Cora Bolds: Okay.
Captain Brien: That’s not true. What do you think, how long’s it take you to make one post?
Cora Bolds: About an hour.
Captain Brien: Okay, so it takes you an hour. So, they’re posting all the time.
Cora Bolds: Or, someone’s posting for them.
Captain Brien: And that’s their business. They’re not, I think they post. No, I think they do the pictures. So, they take the pictures, but I don’t know if they take the pictures themselves anymore.
Cora Bods: Yeah.
Captain Brien: But I doubtfully don’t think anyone posts for them. I don’t think they would give somebody that much control.
Cora Bolds: I think Kris is back there managing everything.
Captain Brien: You think?
Cora Bolds: I think so.
Captain Brien: No way.
Cora Bolds: I don’t know.
Captain Brien: I don’t know, all’s I know,
Cora Bolds: Maybe, they’re rich
Captain Brien: Maybe I’m doing it wrong, cause I take, all my posts take no more than five or 10 minutes. I need to put more time in.
Cora Bolds: You do, because you wanna be authentic. You don’t wanna be like, one sentence here and buy it, because that doesn’t create a relationship.
Captain Brien: Yeah.
Cora Bolds: You wanna share something about yourself, share a problem, share a win, a loss.
Captain Brien: I got plenty of both,
Cora Bolds: Don’t we all.
Captain Brien: I need to start sharing away
Cora Bolds: Share something that people can connect to, that they can relate to, something that will get people involved and engaged.
Captain Brien: Yeah, and what’s your best post for the most likes, and then what’s your most engaging post?
Cora Bolds: So, the one that I just posted last week about my Miami Influencer event has like, I think, right around 960 likes.
Captain Brien: Yay!
Cora Bolds: Yeah. That’s the most I’ve ever gotten on a post, which is really good. I was excited, I thought it was gonna break 1000. This week, it’s gonna break 1000 likes.
Captain Brien: Yay!
Cora Bolds: It did have a lot of comments on it. I think, though, that my most engaging post for comments was my birthday post, because a lot of people said either happy birthday,
Captain Brien: Happy birthday.
Cora Bolds: Yeah, things like that. I like asking questions at the end of my post, So I’ll share a little excerpt from a story or something that happened to me that day or how I like the sangria, or whatever it is, and then I’ll be like, “what’s your favorite sangria?” or “where do you like to buy your sangria?” or “where do you go for sangria?” just to get something a little talking point to get people engaging in your content.
Captain Brien: Do you respond to every comment?
Cora Bolds: If it looks like a real account, yes, because I like that relationship marketing. I like building that relationship.
Captain Brien: I hate these comments that say tell me more about your business, like, come on.
Cora Bolds: Right.
Captain Brien: Yeah.
Cora Bolds: Read a book.
Captain Brien: Right, yeah. No, go to my website, because that’s some robot asking me that question.
Cora Bolds: Right, of course.
Captain Brien: Yeah.
Cora Bolds: Absolutely.
Captain Brien: But, so you’ll go on there and respond?
Cora Bolds: Yeah, yeah.
Captain Brien: What about DM’s?
Cora Bolds: I’m bad about DM’s. If it’s a branded deal, I like it to go to my email, cause I like, you know, that I get to go back and reference it. My DM’s, they get kind of pushed down.
Captain Brien: Yeah.
-Cora Bolds: My friends,
Captain Brien: They get clogged up.
Cora Bolds: They get clogged up.
Captain Brien: You’re getting all them DM’s, everyone’s sliding into your DM’s.
Cora Bolds: Everybody’s sliding into my DM’s.
Captain Brien: Hey Kim, how are you? Kim, Alex is on air, what’s going on? She says happy birthday.
Cora olds: Happy late birthday, aww.
Captain Brien: Yeah, yeah.
Cora Bolds: It was last August But that’s good.
Captain Brien: It’s good, it’s coming around again.
Cora Bolds: It is.
Captain Brien: I’ll be right around the corner.
Cora Bolds: I’ll be 23, oh my gosh.
Captain Brien: Wow, that’s interesting though, because this is like, and you’re graduating college.
Cora Bolds: I’m gonna graduate this fall, yep.
Captain Brien: And you’re gonna be studying?
Cora Bolds: I study marketing and political science.
Captain Brien: And what’s the future bring?
Cora Bolds: So, now that I have this Miami event for the influencers, I’m starting to get into a little bit of advanced
Captain Brien: Here we go, hey, hit the reset.
Cora Bolds: Event planning. I’m starting to get myself into event planning. I think that it’s a great opportunity to, you know, be your own boss, charge your own rates, you know, 160 thousand for a party, why not, you know?
Captain Brien: Yeah, you might as well.
Cora Bolds: These Naples people, they love that.
Captain Brien: I’ve gotten the event planning, I do event planning every day.
Cora Bolds: That’s so fun.
Captain Brien: Because I have 10 events every day, it’s called a comedy club.
Cora Bolds: But, no we do,
Cora Bolds: It’s the best comedy club.
Captain Brien: We do a lot of luncheons and private events and corporate stuff as well, so that’s an interesting business.
Cora Bolds: Yeah.
Captain Brien: You definitely, it can be brain-teasing at some times, and sometimes, it’s like a no-brainer. It just depends on what kind of event it is, but
Cora Bolds: Of course.
Captain Brien: They’re all different in one way or another. You have one of your clients is super, super extra, and then you have the other client that just is like, make it happen, Captain. Do everything you did the last time, or do something like that other event we went to. That was spectacular, but yeah.
Cora Bolds: Yeah.
Captain Brien: It’s not all fun and games, sometimes.
Cora Bolds: It isn’t.
Captain Brien: No.
Cora Bolds: Sometimes, it’s a little hard to get in touch with everybody, and everybody on the same page, but, it is always worth it.
Captain Brien: So, you’re putting together all these influencers in Miami, and you’re gonna be going to, what’s the name of the place?
Cora Bolds: Sagrado Cafe.
Captain Brien: Okay, Sagrado Cafe, and what your going to be doing is, everyone’s gonna be on the ground, talking about what?
Cora Bolds: About the other influencers that are there, we have travel influencers, fashion influencers, lifestyle influencers, food influencers, health influencers, and businesses attending. So, we’re gonna get people with the fashion influencers with the fashion influencers, the lifestyle influencers with the lifestyle influencers, just so they can talk about what works for them, what gets them their content, what brands are working with, how to reach out to brands, we have people with up to 333 thousand followers that are coming to the event, and people that are at like 5,000 followers.
Captain Brien: And what’s the cost to attend?
Cora Bolds: So, the cost is about $15 for your ticket, and $20 when we eat, but it’s endless mimosas and sangria and cheesy bread, plus your brunch, so.
Captain Brien: Nice.
Cora Bolds: I mean it is, you know, it’s a cafe. It’s a business, they still have to make money, too. But, it is gonna be really exciting. I’m super excited for it. We have a photo wall coming in, we’ve got, we’ve reached out to local vendors to raffle off different items,
Captain Brien: And I’m gonna give you some tickets.
Cora Bolds: And some tickets to the comedy club are always a win.
Captain Brien: Yes, yes, absolutely. I might even give you a bottle of vodka.
Cora Bolds: Oh my gosh
Captain Brien: Should I do that?
Cora Bolds: I’m not giving that to the event, I’m taking that one home.
Captain Brien: No you can’t. Atleast you’re over the age,
Cora Bolds: Right, that’s true
Captain Brien: The drinking age is legal.
Cora Bolds: That’s true, right.
Captain Brien: That makes sense, that makes sense. And then tell me about what you do different on your story, cause there’s two different things, right, obviously, people are gonna be posting on a timeline, and then they’re gonna be posting on their story.
Cora Bolds: Right.
Captain Brien: Give us some good tricks on your story.
Cora Bolds: So, on your story, if you’re mentioning a brand, you always wanna, you know, actually mention them. You wanna tag them in there, so that they have the opportunity to see that.
Captain Brien: And add it to their story.
Cora Bolds: And add it to their story, which is great eseo-optimization. I mean you just, you need that sort of thing.
Captain Brien: Of course.
Cora Bolds: That’s grown my account authentically a lot. Getting shout outs from places like…
Captain Brien: How many do you tag in your story?
Cora Bolds: Just what’s there. If it’s
Captain Brien: You only tag in your story what you’re actually talking about?
Cora Bolds: Yes, of course.
Captain Brien: Yes.
Cora Bolds: Because, I don’t wanna be misleading.
Captain Brien: Right.
Cora Bolds: I don’t want somebody to click on that link, and they’re like, well this isn’t where the product’s from, who is this person?
Captain Brien: Right.
Cora Bolds: When I’m with friends, I’ll always tag all five of my friends if they’re in the video, just to increase their eseo as well.
Captain Brien: Absolutely.
Cora Bolds:Those back links are really helpful.
Captain Brien: Yeah. But they only last for 24 hours?
Cora Bolds: The only last for 24 hours, I put a lot of things in my highlights, I’m a big craft beer drinker, and I’m a big foodie, so I put all the good food and all the good porters and stouts in my highlights, just so if somebody missed it on the 24 hours, it can go back and see it.
Captain Brien: Right, so what do you think, you focus all your time and energy on Instagram, though, and you’re saying you don’t like Facebook.
Cora Bolds: I don’t really use Facebook.
Captain Brien: What about twitter?
Cora Bolds: I do have a twitter, but it’s my personal account, it’s just like some funny tweets I find funny.
Captain Brien:Okay.
Cora Bolds: So not much going on there.
Captain Brien: I’m not a big fan of twitter that much, so I can agree with you there. And what about LinkedIn?
Cora Bolds: I do have a LinkedIn, but it’s only for professional, like excursions, like businesses that want to hire me actually for jobs, like Gardner and things like that.
Captain Brien: Okay, but you don’t feel like putting any posts on there at all?
Special star Vicki Barbolak joins Captain Brien to talk about her experience and some of her favorite moments on America’s Got Talent and America’s Got Talent: The Champions, her upcoming shows at Off The Hook Comedy Club in Naples, Florida, and a failed attempt to sing a song about Rum in honor of Captain Brien’s Rum!
Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.
The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!
Check Vicki Barbolak out and show her some love at:
Miss something on one of our episodes of the #naplescaptainslog? Don’t worry we got you covered! Here you will find a full transcript from this episode of the #naplescaptainslog!
Captain Brien: Good morning, and welcome aboard The Captain’s Log. Vicki Barbolak, oh my goodness.
Vicki Barbolak: Ahoy, captain.
Captain Brien: I have a trailer, is it the trailer nasty, is that what I do?
Vicki Barbolak: It’s the trailer nasty.
Captain Brien: Let’s take a ride, we’re doing radio.
Vicki Barbolak: I got some Captain Brien rum.
Captain Brien: I already hooked you up with rum.
Vicki Barbolak: For the road.
Captain Brien: Is that good for you?
Vicki Barbolak: It’s delicious. Just my size, too. Nothing like a little gallon of rum at 10 in the morning to make a girl feel happy.
Captain Brien: So, yeah, so we’re gonna do some radio. We already did two stations, which was fun. We did Gator Country, in Bonita Springs, and then we just left I Heart Radio with 105.5 the Beat and the Freakshow so, it’s a long weekend here in Naples, all the way til Sunday, I’m excited. Shows are selling like crazy. We’re gonna have so much fun. And, I wanna know all kinds of good stuff about your career, and what you’ve been doing.
Vicki Barbolak: Ever since America’s Got Talent, like, it’s just like a whole different world. People come up to me, in the grocery store, in the airports. It’s just, liquor stores, you know, and not because I didn’t pay the bill. It’s a miracle. It’s just been so much fun.
Captain Brien: And how do you feel like, the future of your career’s gonna be?
Vicki Barbolak: I feel like a baby, like it just started. And, you know, I got people coming at me with television shows, and, just, like, everything I ever dreamed of is actually happening. I bought the second best trailer in my trailer park, can I, I’m just sorry to brag about that.
Captain Brien: You are, you are. But that’s okay.
Vicki Barbolak: You know I’m still the same person, Brien.
Captain Brien: You’re coming up, it’s big, it’s big time now.
Vicki Barbolak: I’m still the same person. Yeah. All is well.
Captain Brien: We can pull out here, and the sun is getting us. But we’re gonna pull right out, and just take our chances.
Vicki Barbolak: This is beautiful. Are we gonna see any alligators here in the street?
Captain Brien: I think so, right. Maybe crossing the road while we’re driving.
Vicki Barbolak: That’s what I’ve heard, they’re everywhere.
Captain Brien: So, the thing I wondered, really, is, and I briefly asked you before. When you’re on the show, they don’t do, like, they don’t tell you, like, okay, I want to set up this big stage for you this time? Or, do you do that? And then, what about the costumes, and the expense, and all that?
Vicki Barbolak: I got to have a lot of input on what I wear, because my clothes are, you know, very specific.
Captain Brien: Yeah.
Vicki Barbolak: I’ve been shopping in thrift stores my whole life, and, I have a certain aesthetic.
Captain Brien: Yeah.
Vicki Barbolak: And so. Sorry, this darn cough. Anyway, so I got to have a lot of input on the clothes. The first few shows, you bring your own clothes, and, so I did, and by the time you make the finals.
Captain Brien: You really, I don’t know if that’s actually.
Vicki Barbolak: Oh, it’s so good.
Captain Brien: That’s barrel aged.
Vicki Barbolak: Damn, that smells good.
Captain Brien: In bourbon barrels, you like that?
Vicki Barbolak: This smells delicious
Captain Brien: Are you gonna go right out there?
Vicki Barbolak: Just wakes me right up. I have to make sure there’s some police around before I take a big drink.
Captain Brien: Yeah, let’s do that. Let’s make sure. Let’s pour it all over ourselves.
Vicki Barbolak: Because I like to be stopped.
Captain Brien: If they pull us over, they immediately get the aroma of alcohol.
Vicki Barbolak: Is it illegal in Florida to drink and drive?
Captain Brien: Yeah, I think so.
Vicki Barbolak: Is it an issue?
Captain Brien: It’s pretty sure, yeah.
Vicki Barbolak: Oh, I had no idea. I thought it was different here. People are always on vacation.
Captain Brien: No, it’s definitely.
Vicki Barbolak: Let me put the cap back on, Captain.
Captain Brien: Put it on tight.
Vicki Barbolak: So not gonna taste it in the car. Officer.
Captain Brien: This is a prop, it’s a stage prop. That’s all. We were just making sure.
Vicki Barbolak: This isn’t even real.
Captain Brien: It’s legit, so, for tonight. That’s all we’re doing.
Vicki Barbolak: Well, there’s the next radio station. As soon as we stop, I can have some, right?
Captain Brien: Yeah, of course, I’m not gonna hold that back from you, come on.
Vicki Barbolak: This stuff smells divine.
Captain Brien: I have to make sure the talent is comfortable on the Captain’s Log.
Vicki Barbolak: Absolutely. If you’re gonna drink all day, you gotta start in the morning.
Captain Brien: Yes, yes.
Vicki Barbolak: And we’re coming up to that 10:00 start time.
Captain Brien: So, who planned, like, I just saw you on the champions, right?
Vicki Barbolak: Yeah
Captain Brien: Which was awesome. And you came out with these two good looking dudes. Like, did you have to get the dudes?
Vicki Barbolak: I got the dancers.
Captain Brien: They got ’em.
Vicki Barbolak: And they were such nice guys. I worked with them around, 26, 30 hours. Getting that out.
Captain Brien: To make sure.
Vicki Barbolak: I had them over to the house, yeah, to make sure they did just right.
Captain Brien: Yeah.
Vicki Barbolak: And they kissed. Yeah, that took a lot of work.
Captain Brien: Yeah, a lot of practice.
Vicki Barbolak: A lot of kissing.
Captain Brien: I understand.
Vicki Barbolak: They were gorgeous.
Captain Brien: I understand.
Vicki Barbolak: One was from Russia, the other one was from Latin America. Oh, yeah.
Captain Brien: That’s cute. It was very well done.
Vicki Barbolak: It was super fun, and, the whole show, they really make it fun. Everyone there that is a really loving atmosphere. People are so. You think it’d be really terrible ordeal.
Captain Brien: No, I would never think it was terrible, why? Why would I think it was terrible?
Vicki Barbolak: Not you, because you’re a positive person. But a lot of people go, oh, was it horrible? Was it just so much stress? And it really wasn’t, it was really fun.
Captain Brien: Yeah, I would totally think that it would be, obviously, it’s been a life changer for you.
Vicki Barbolak: Oh yeah.
Captain Brien: But not only life changer, like the experience is once in a lifetime, right?
Vicki Barbolak: I never forgot that, every day. People go, Vicki, sorry we’re making you wait. Sorry this is so long. I go, hey, I can sit here all day, and never have a better day in my life
Captain Brien: Right?
Vicki Barbolak: So, it was so much fun.
Captain Brien: And then there is a lot of talent on the show. I mean, do you get to watch any of the other acts?
Vicki Barbolak: Yeah.
Captain Brien: Or do you have to watch them on the monitor?
Vicki Barbolak: No, I got to see Courtney live all the time. And then, if you weren’t busy, you could go watch other people’s rehearsals. It was really fun.
Captain Brien: That’s so cool.
Vicki Barbolak: Yeah, that giant group from Austria, those dancers. Seeing that live was amazing. And then the Champions show, seeing Susan Boyle sing live was, like, crazy. The room, you just get goosebumps everywhere.
Captain Brien: Oh, yeah. She did a good performance, right?
Vicki Barbolak: Yeah, she was amazing.
Captain Brien: That was exciting.
Vicki Barbolak: She sang that song Wild Horses. And, that was amazing to hear her sing Wild Horses.
Captain Brien: She was great. I mean, I like the back story too, though. How do they do the back story? Do they come out and film stuff with you guys, or what?
Vicki Barbolak: Yeah, they came out to the trailer park a bunch of times. And, you know, they film like 10 hours to get two or three minutes, it was hilarious. They had drones flying over the trailer park, and, all the old neighbors are like, what’s that? Is that a plane? Was there a plane? Vicki, was that a plane? Yeah, it was a little tiny plane, with a little tiny guy driving the little tiny plane. It’s so fun.
Captain Brien: And then you got to hang out with Preacher Lawson the other day.
Vicki Barbolak: Yeah, he is so great. What a nice guy.
Captain Brien: One of his first shows was his open mic at my club.
Vicki Barbolak: You’re kidding me.
Captain Brien: No, I’m serious. Yeah, yeah.
Vicki Barbolak: Oh my love, he’s awesome.
Captain Brien: He’s great.
Vicki Barbolak: He’s so great. What a great person, too.
Vicki Barbolak: Yeah. It’s not gonna change his thing.
Captain Brien: No.
Vicki Barbolak: He’s just such a good guy.
Captain Brien: And I don’t see it changing you. I think you’re gonna enjoy the fame, but I don’t see you like, what do you feel like? You feel like, oh my God, now I’m a huge star? What’s it like?
Vicki Barbolak: No, I just feel like a big bottle of gratitude. That’s all I feel like.
Captain Brien: Just a whole bottle?
Vicki Barbolak: This is filled with gratitude. In my body.
Captain Brien: Ah, that’s exciting. That really is.
Vicki Barbolak: It’s so great.
Captain Brien: And, you’re married. You’re on your third marriage.
Vicki Barbolak: Third marriage. My favorite and current husband Lou is a piano player at the Comedy Store, so. He’s a great guy.
Captain Brien: And, you met him playing the piano. Do you sing, or do you just enjoy his piano playing?
Vicki Barbolak: No, I don’t sing, ever.
Captain Brien: Nothing.
Vicki Barbolak: Because I love people.
Captain Brien: I’m terrible at singing.
Vicki Barbolak: Oh, me too. Oh.
Captain Brien: We should sing.
Vicki Barbolak: We should sing, you wanna sing?
Captain Brien: I mean, I could try.
Vicki Barbolak: What should we sing? What’s a good Florida song?
Captain Brien: I know Happy Birthday.
Vicki Barbolak: That’s a good one.
Captain Brien: That’s a really, that’s a good one, right?
Vicki Barbolak: We gotta sing the bottle of rum song.
Captain Brien: Oh, is there a rum song? ♪ 99 bottles of rum on the wall. ♪
Vicki Barbolak: No, a bottle. Rum, I can’t remember right now.
Captain Brien: What is it? ♪ Drink one down ♪ ♪ Pass it around ♪ No? That’s a beer. Damn, I don’t even know of a song.
Vicki Barbolak: You know, I think we’re doing people a favor right now.
Captain Brien: Yeah, I’m so bad. So not musically talented. I don’t even remember the songs. Not even nursery rhymes, hardly.
Vicki Barbolak: Can’t do it.
Captain Brien: Only nursery rhymes I tend to remember, is, Dice.
Vicki Barbolak: Oh yeah, those are so funny.
Captain Brien: Right?
Vicki Barbolak: Telling your little children those. Chickory, chickory doc.
Captain Brien: Oh my God, I don’t think this one goes like that. My daughter’s like, daddy, that’s not the right one, daddy.
Vicki Barbolak: No.
Captain Brien: And she’s at school.
Vicki Barbolak: You know what I’ve been worried about lately, I went to the BevMo the other day, and they sell tiny little.
Captain Brien: Where’d you go?
Vicki Barbolak: BevMo.
Captain Brien: What’s that?
Vicki Barbolak: A liquor store, you don’t have those?
Captain Brien: No.
Vicki Barbolak: It’s like a giant, it’s like Costco of liquor.
Captain Brien: Oh, I need to get hooked up with them, right?
Vicki Barbolak: Yes, of course.
Captain Brien: They could start carrying my brand.
Vicki Barbolak: I’ll bring it over. I know everyone at every BevMo. And so, they sell these little juice boxes by the cash registers. The same size boxes as Juicy Juice. With cocktails.
Captain Brien: Oh, perfect.
Vicki Barbolak: And I’m like, how many mothers are gonna be asleep when their kids are packing their little lunches. They’re gonna be drinking, you know, a margarita at their little kindergarten lunch.
Captain Brien: But what about the, like the wine? You see all these new wine carriers and stuff. Is it a problem? Like, are people struggling to drink wine, that they have to come up with all these creative new cases, and ways to travel with it?
Vicki Barbolak: It is just, I think people like.
Captain Brien: Like I see the wine purse now. The wine necklace. Have you seen the wine watch?
Vicki Barbolak: I have not got a wine watch. I’ve got a wine purse, and I’ve got a wine backpack. But, the wine boxes for individual carry, and for picnics and stuff, and also for driving on your way to work when you, when you, you know.
Captain Brien: Need another bottle.
Vicki Barbolak: Not in your car.
Captain Brien: You don’t want a bottle rolling around. A box is much better.
Vicki Barbolak: So much quieter.
Captain Brien: Yeah, yeah. And then you have the cork earrings.
Vicki Barbolak: I have the cork earrings, of course.
Captain Brien: And, did you make those?
Vicki Barbolak: A lady in my trailer park makes them. But I did drink this wine.
Captain Brien: That’s beautiful.
Vicki Barbolak: Yeah, she makes them. I give her, she needs a little money, so it works out perfect.
Captain Brien: Yeah, so you plug it.
Vicki Barbolak: Yeah. So.
Captain Brien: Well, you’re gonna be at Off the Hook Comedy Club. Tonight’s show is nine o’clock. That’s Thursday.
Vicki Barbolak: Party down tonight, ladies.
Captain Brien: And, the Friday is seven and nine, and Saturday is seven and nine. And Sunday is seven. Get tickets at offthehookcomedy.com. But of course, do you want to give away a ticket right now? Two tickets to tonight’s show? What do they have to do?
Vicki Barbolak: They could do something?
Captain Brien: Yeah, let’s let them, make them do something.
Vicki Barbolak: Call and tell us a joke?
Captain Brien: You have to message us right now. What city you’re in. If you’re in Naples or Fort Myers, then you have to message us, and you have to say who your favorite person is on AGT.
Vicki Barbolak: Okay.
Captain Brien: Like, the judges.
Vicki Barbolak: Okay, the judges.
Captain Brien: Who’s your favorite judge?
Vicki Barbolak: It’s gotta be Simon.
Captain Brien: Yeah, of course, he fell in love with you.
Vicki Barbolak: I’m in love with him.
Captain Brien: Yeah.
Vicki Barbolak: Yeah, and his wife is in really good health. I probably don’t have a shot there.
Captain Brien: Dammit.
Vicki Barbolak: But, you know, it doesn’t matter, because it’s like, I believe in like, you gotta be attracted to other men, especially if you’re married or in your relationship. People feel like it’s putting gas in your tank. Because when you’re with your husband or something, you ask them to speak, in my case, in a British accent. And it just brings everything new.
Captain Brien: Right, it’s a whole new.
Vicki Barbolak: I’m all over Lou, I’m attacking him, like.
Captain Brien: It’s a whole new, it’s a new guy.
Vicki Barbolak: I’m putting him in a little black T-shirt. He doesn’t mind.
Captain Brien: No, do you make him sit behind the table and judge you?
Vicki Barbolak: And judge me?
Captain Brien: Yeah.
Vicki Barbolak: For what I do for that, he’s very happy to do it.
Captain Brien: No buzzer, if he gives you the buzzer, forget about it.
Vicki Barbolak: Not that he hasn’t.
Captain Brien: Yeah.
Vicki Barbolak: Yeah
Captain Brien: One buzzer, he’s done.
Vicki Barbolak: It makes me jump like a seal.
Captain Brien: So listen, the cutest thing you said about Lou, though, was his Louber. He gave you a Louber ride?
Vicki Barbolak: Yeah, that is the first thing.
Captain Brien: That’s the cutest thing.
Vicki Barbolak: I couldn’t get an Uber, so I had to call a Louber, and that’s how it started.
Captain Brien: I love that joke. You know why, maybe I like it so much is because, my mom and dad, they’ve been married over 50 years.
Vicki Barbolak: Wow.
Captain Brien: And, they met, as well, at school, but my mom needed a ride home, and she never wanted to date my dad, until one day, my dad, my grandfather told my mom, you need a ride home today, because you have all this stuff to carry. Why don’t you ask that guy that asks you every day? And my dad was in, and that was it.
Vicki Barbolak: That’s so cool.
Captain Brien: Yeah, yeah, so, he got a Santos.
Vicki Barbolak: See, never give up.
Captain Brien: Because his name is Santo.
Vicki Barbolak: Never give up.
Captain Brien: So I gotta come up with a funny ride for him.
Vicki Barbolak: Santo, his name is Santos?
Captain Brien: Yes, Santo.
Vicki Barbolak: Santo, what a cool name.
Captain Brien: Yeah, so he’s Italian.
Vicki Barbolak: I love it, of course he’s Italian.
Captain Brien: That’s my middle name.
Vicki Barbolak: Delicious.
Captain Brien: Brien Santos Spina.
Vicki Barbolak: Oh, I love it. I went to Italy, and the guidebooks say, don’t stare back at the Italian men, or they’re consider it like, a sign of encouragement.
Captain Brien: Yeah.
Vicki Barbolak: So I was like. I did not shut my eyes for two weeks.
Captain Brien: You were gawking at them all?
Vicki Barbolak: Hey, get over here.
Captain Brien: You know, I didn’t know that, because, honestly, when I was 19, I spent a week in Venice myself. But the women wouldn’t look at me, and I’m thinking, well, it’s because I got dark hair, and I look exactly like all the rest of the Italians.
Vicki Barbolak: They’re trained not to.
Captain Brien: Yeah.
Vicki Barbolak: You should have. Vicki Barbolak would’ve been hey.
Captain Brien: I was thinking, if I came here with blond hair, they’d all be looking at me, but no.
Vicki Barbolak: No. It’s the guidebooks. They all know. And I mean like, once I found that out, I was home.
Captain Brien: Now I feel better about myself. Yeah, you’re good for my ego. Because, it’s been a long time, and I was struggling.
Vicki Barbolak: A good looking guy like you, forget it. Now you know.
Captain Brien: Now I know.
Vicki Barbolak: Just head down.
Captain Brien: It’s all it was, it’s a thing they do there. They just don’t stare.
Vicki Barbolak: No, they pinch, oh my God.
Captain Brien: On the cheeks, you like the pinch on the cheeks?
Vicki Barbolak: Of course.
Captain Brien: Nah, it’s too much.
Vicki Barbolak: On the butt cheek.
Captain Brien: Oh. On the buttocks, yeah.
Vicki Barbolak: Yeah, yeah, all the time. I felt like I had a little happy target. It was beautiful.
Captain Brien: It is nice.
Vicki Barbolak:Mm, I love Italy.
Captain Brien: I’ll go with a pinch on the butt, over a pinch on the cheek.
Vicki Barbolak: Oh, nobody does that.
Captain Brien: It’s too much, right?
Vicki Barbolak: No, God, no.
Captain Brien: It might mess up my Botox, too.
Vicki Barbolak: Oh, yeah, cack. Botox goes squirtin’ out there like that.
Captain Brien: Yeah, it’s terrible.
Vicki Barbolak: So is there any deals on plastic surgery while I’m here, by any chance?
Captain Brien: I have all the deals on that, yes.
Vicki Barbolak: Can you hook me up with something?
Captain Brien: What are you interested in?
Vicki Barbolak: I need my lips done.
Captain Brien: Oh, I could do that.
Vicki Barbolak: Well, I had my lips done, but you can’t tell, because I’m wearing pants. But, I would like to have my.
Captain Brien: Yeah, well, we do vagina rejuvenation, Dr. Dolla does it.
Vicki Barbolak: Dr. Dollar?
Captain Brien: Yeah, he’s on my podcast on Tuesdays.
Vicki Barbolak: The vagina rejuvenation? Yeah, cool.
Captain Brien: And he’ll do Botox, and lips, you could do everything.
Vicki Barbolak: I would never waste money on my vagina.
Captain Brien: Really?
Vicki Barbolak: If the man cannot enjoy himself down there, and I have to spend money on it, then I’m finding a different guy. There’s too many men out there.
Captain Brien: Yeah. And there’s not enough vaginas.
Vicki Barbolak: I’m spending money on this stuff, that I care about.
Captain Brien: That you want to see.
Vicki Barbolak: I want to see. I don’t look down there. I can’t even bend that far.
Captain Brien: It takes a while to check it out, too. It’s a hard angle.
Vicki Barbolak: Who would do that? Ridiculous.
Captain Brien: Yeah. There’s probably not an Instagram, there’s probably not an Instagram good angle on that.
Vicki Barbolak: Ridiculous. It’s a dumb thing for men. It’s stupid.
Captain Brien: It’s just for the guys.
Vicki Barbolak: It’s just for them. Enough we give them. We cook and all that shit. We don’t have to do that.
Captain Brien: Oh my God, that’s hysterical.
Vicki Barbolak: I would like my lips blown up.
Captain Brien: I know one question I wanted to ask you. I have all these questions, and I’ve given you no, I haven’t asked any of them. Where’d you get the trailer nasty idea? Like, is that a whole thing you came up with before the show, or was it? Yeah, so it was a whole thing before the show?
Vicki Barbolak: Yeah. It just came to me. You know, jokes are like little things. Just drop in your head. And that just dropped in my head one day, trailer nasty. I liked the way it sounded.
Captain Brien: It’s nasty. People like it.
Vicki Barbolak: It’s good.
Captain Brien: Yeah, no one wants to be.
Vicki Barbolak: Trailer clean.
Captain Brien: Trailer clean, yeah, exactly. You know what I’m saying? I think it’s a good marketing campaign, it’s worked out well, huh?
Vicki Barbolak: People have fun with it, yep. And we actually copyrighted it, yeah. So, I’m grateful for that.
Captain Brien: So you need to have like a trailer nasty TV show.
Vicki Barbolak: That’s it, that’s what they’re thinking about.
Captain Brien: Is that what they’re gonna do?
Vicki Barbolak: Maybe, yeah. I like it. Oh my gosh.
Captain Brien: This light’s pink, I think it’s pink. I’m gonna go for it.
Vicki Barbolak: Oh my gosh.
Captain Brien: You know why? Because it was pink.
Vicki Barbolak: I can have a drink and relax.
Captain Brien: It was right in the timing.
Vicki Barbolak: It was so legal.
Captain Brien: One way or the other.
Vicki Barbolak: There’s no way. I would just not even worry about that. I’m driving around with an open bottle of rum. You wanna run a couple of lights, what the hell?
Captain Brien: What’s the rum got to do with it? A couple lights aren’t gonna hurt anyone.
Vicki Barbolak: No, everything’s good. Running with the Captain in the morning. There’s a crocodile right there, holy shit.
Captain Brien: We’re like regular rum runners.
Vicki Barbolak: He must be 14 feet long.
Captain Brien: We’re like a rum runner.
Vicki Barbolak: We’re rum runners, that’s what I call it.
Captain Brien: Yeah, we’re bootleggin’ this. We’re like pirates, we’re gonna pillage and plunder.
Vicki Barbolak: I wanna get in my bathing suit.
Captain Brien: We need to go to the store, by the way, and go buy you some lingerie, you said.
Vicki Barbolak: I need, I forgot to bring a, is that a policeman?
Captain Brien: That’s a cop.
Vicki Barbolak: Holy shit.
Captain Brien: Ah, right in the middle.
Vicki Barbolak: Is he watching Facebook Live?
Captain Brien: He probably is.
Vicki Barbolak: Shit.
Captain Brien: We have a lot of fans.
Vicki Barbolak: Crap, I didn’t even think about that. Somebody’s probably calling the cops, saying we’re driving around drinking.
Captain Brien: Always.
Vicki Barbolak: I never really opened this bottle, ossifer.
Captain Brien: No, we’re not, we’re not drinking. We’re not drinking.
Vicki Barbolak: I can get away, I can get out of it.
Captain Brien: Yeah.
Vicki Barbolak: I’ll trace my body for this cop stuff.
Captain Brien: Have you used, like, some comedy to get out of tickets in the past?
Vicki Barbolak: Yeah.
Captain Brien: What’s your move?
Vicki Barbolak: I have this one line. I did this one time. I did trace my body one time, that really happened, too. I traced my body with my girlfriend.
Captain Brien: Wait, tell me about tracing your body. What is that?
Vicki Barbolak: Trace your body, if you wanna get noticed, a friend of mine, Lisa, the geisha, I don’t wanna say she’s my best friend, but anyway. So she has this thing to get noticed, you go like this. Trace your body.
Captain Brien: Trace.
Vicki Barbolak: Trace your body, right.
Captain Brien: Yeah.
Vicki Barbolak: Yeah. So, this cop pulled me over one night, I came right out of the club, he pulled me right over. He’s like I want you to walk the line. I said, okay officer, but first, I have to trace my body. And I got out of it, and then.
Captain Brien: Did you tell him, trace your body, or did you just?
Vicki Barbolak: I did it for him, because he asked me to step out and walk the line, I said, just a minute. And he cracked up. And I had not been drinking, I just literally came out of the club. And then the other time was a speeding thing, and he goes, okay, you’re a comedian. I go, I’m sorry, I’m tired. It was late at night, I was completely sober, and I had been, I was driving fast, and I was exhausted. And I shouldn’t have been driving fast, but, he pulled me over and he goes, okay, well, tell me a joke if you’re really a comedian. And I told him this one classic joke, and he let me off.
Captain Brien: And that was it, that was a good move.
Vicki Barbolak: Do you want to hear the joke?
Captain Brien: Yeah, of course I do.
Vicki Barbolak: Can it have a nasty word in it?
Captain Brien: Yeah, absolutely.
Vicki Barbolak: So, here’s the joke I said. How do you get a nun pregnant?
Captain Brien: How?
Vicki Barbolak: How do you get a nun pregnant?
Captain Brien: I don’t know.
Vicki Barbolak: You fuck her.
Captain Brien: That makes sense.
Vicki Barbolak: Yeah.
Captain Brien: Yeah.
Vicki Barbolak: And he laughed, and he let me off.
Captain Brien: That’s good, that’s a good move.
Vicki Barbolak: You can have it.
Captain Brien: I’ll take it.
Vicki Barbolak: Everybody out there, too.
Captain Brien: I’ll take it, everyone take that joke.
Vicki Barbolak: You’ll never get a ticket.
Captain Brien: Retweet it, that’s a good retweet.
Vicki Barbolak: There you go.
Captain Brien: Well, thank you so much for spending time with me today. It wasn’t like you had a choice.
Vicki Barbolak: I enjoyed it, I loved it.
Captain Brien: We’re in the car, so you can’t really run away from me.
Vicki Barbolak: Hey, there’s my first trailer park.
Captain Brien: That’s your people.
Vicki Barbolak: My cherry, I popped my first trailer cherry here in Naples, boom boom.
Captain Brien: There’s a lot of them, actually, look.
Vicki Barbolak: Look at that.
Captain Brien: Yeah.
Vicki Barbolak: Oh those are more like, yeah.
Captain Brien: Are those good ones or bad ones?
Vicki Barbolak: Those are star wagons. No, those are nice, I mean, I like the permanently affixed ones.
Captain Brien: Yeah.
Vicki Barbolak: I’m not going anywhere once I find a pretty trailer.
Captain Brien: Well, there’s a lot of high end trailer parks.
Vicki Barbolak: You know, I’m gonna spend the afternoon, probably visiting them.
Captain Brien: Yeah, there’s some seriously high-end ones.
Vicki Barbolak: Other people go to museums, that’s what I do.
Captain Brien: Yeah?
Vicki Barbolak: I drive around trailers.
Captain Brien: There’s a couple.
Vicki Barbolak: Security, though, can be tough.
Captain Brien: There’s some that actually have lots, over half a million, just for the lots.
Vicki Barbolak: I believe it. And sometimes you can’t get in. I mean, the security won’t let me in half the time.
Captain Brien: Yeah, well tell them who you are.
Vicki Barbolak: I’ve done it.
Captain Brien: Tell them you put trailer parks on the map.
Vicki Barbolak: These security guards could care less if I’m on America’s Got Talent, they’re like, I’m sorry ma’am, you’re gonna have to get a realtor to get in here. I’m like, what realtor would believe I can afford this place?
Captain Brien: Well, thank you so much for being on the show. It’s been great.
Vicki Barbolak: See you guys for the show.
Captain Brien: Yeah, go to offthehookcomedy.com, check in. Thank you.
