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Episode 208 The Captain’s Log with Cora Bolds

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Guest Cora Bolds joins Captain Brien to discuss social media growth and influencing! Cora Bolds shares how she got started as a local social influencer and gives us her tips and tricks for social media growth! Ever wonder how you get the “swipe up” feature on Instagram? Tune in to hear!

Watch full video at ——- https://youtu.be/1yXbv73lu1g

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!

Check Cora Bolds out and show her some love at:

PODCAST RECAP

Miss something on one of our episodes of the #naplescaptainslog? Don’t worry we got you covered! Here you will find a full transcript from this episode of the #naplescaptainslog!

Captain Brien: Hey guys, welcome back to the Captain’s Log. I have Cora Bolds, and she is a, not only you’re a local Instagram influencer, but you’ve been doing this everywhere. And now you’ve got a big event going on in Miami that you’re hosting. Tell me about it. It’s exciting.

Cora Bolds: Oh my gosh, it’s so exciting. So, I am hosting an event out at Segrado Cafe in Miami on Biscayne Boulevard. And I’m inviting local influencers that are going to network, have the opportunity to network and socialize with brands who are looking for influencers, as well as other influencers who are looking for other influencers to collaborate with themselves.

Captain Brien: So what do you do? I know that you do a lot of stuff with the Gram. You’re on the IG all the time.

Cora Bolds: I love the ‘Gram.

Captain Brien: And you’ve been growing your following, and you’ve been becoming this influencer. Tell me about how it started and what the goal is. And you have all these influencers, people might not know what influencers are.

Cora Bolds: Okay, so an influencer is a modern-day buzz agent, which would be considered somebody who influences the opinion of others. Before you go shopping, before you buy a new car, you might ask your friend, you know, I don’t know, tell me what to get, if you trust their opinion. Well, these influencers, these modern-day influencers are taking the opinion leaders and translating it into their own influence, and, you know, advertising to the general public as being the person to go to when you have questions about simple things like that. So, there’s a whole different, I mean, there’s so many things that I’ve done to get me to this point. There’s, I mean, between hashtags, and tagging people,

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Cora Bolds: It all started with the idea that I wanted to run a website. I wanted that creative outlet. I didn’t know the first steps to take. I didn’t even know how to design a website. I downloaded Squarespace. I created a template.

Captain Brien: Ah, did you do it? Did you make it?

Cora Bolds: I did it. I made a website.

Captain Brien: I’ve done that a few times, yeah.

Cora Bolds: It took awhile to get the hang of it, but I had to email them quite a few times to ask for very simple stupid questions. And they’re kind of like, you know, read the guide, but–

Captain Brien: Of course, yeah.

Cora Bolds: I finally got the hang of it. I’ve only been doing it now for about five months. So it is a work in progress, but it has been majorly successful.

Captain Brien: But you’ve, yeah, in five months, you’ve come a long way.

Cora Bolds: I have.

Captain Brien: You broke 10,000.

Cora Bolds:  I broke 10,000 followers this past week.

Captain Brien: Which is huge.

Cora Bolds: Yeah.

Captain Brien: Because now you can do the swipe up.

Cora Bolds: I can do the swipe up.

Captain Brien: Everybody needs that.

Cora Bolds: Thank God.

Captain Brien: I’m still trying to get there on the Gram. Right?

Cora Bolds: The swipe up is the best feature, because it directs people directly to my website.

Captain Brien: Correct, yeah, cause then you can force people to go right to links that you are getting paid to send people.

Cora Bolds: Of Course! That’s the best part.

Captain Brien: But I know that, you know, we talked at lunch for a minute and you were saying that with the different brands that you representing and that you’re an influencer for, you don’t just take every brand on, I mean, right?

Cora Bolds:  No of course not.

Captain Brien: You gotta do something that you love because people have to know you’re passionate about it.

Cora Bolds: Oh my gosh, yeah. And I turn down at least two to three deals a week because it’s just not the right fit for me. I’m not a swimsuit model. I’m not gonna sell your swimsuit products.

Captain Brien: Right, yeah.

Cora Bolds: I’m a wine-lover, you know, I love to be endorsing things that I love.

Captain Brien: You should love vodka and rum.

Cora Bolds: I love vodka and rum!

Captain Brien: I know a guy, I know a guy, right?

Cora Bolds: This guy, oh my gosh.

Captain Brien: So yeah, that’s what I think the whole world’s looking for these days, is someone to tell them that this product is legit or valuable or it works.

Cora Bolds: High quality, yeah, something.

Captain Brien: You know the Amazon reviews, that for me is huge.

Cora Bolds: Oh my gosh, Yelp is huge.

Captain Brien: Right? Oh you use Yelp?

Cora Bolds: No.

Captain Brien: Oh I’m a big thumbs down on Yelp.

Cora Bolds: Not anymore.

Captain Brien: No, I hate it. I think it’s so fake.

Cora Bolds: I’m deleting Yelp.

Captain Brien: The thing about Yelp is, honestly, is that it’s a money game, all’s it is. You can have a gazillion reviews out there that they don’t pass through, because you’re not an advertiser.

Cora Bolds: Right.

Captain Brien: So, they’ll pass through the negative reviews and a few positive reviews, and they’ll pass through all the negative reviews and a few positive reviews, and then they’ll contact you and say hey, we noticed you were getting a lot of negative reviews. But if you go and look in your queue, there’s like 200 positive reviews. And they claim that those people know you or they are affiliated with you.

Cora Bolds: Right.

Captain Brien: It’s a scam.

Cora Bolds: Yelp can be questionable.

Captain Brien: And now people like have already figured that out.

Cora Bolds: Yeah.

Captain Brien: You know, because I don’t believe in it at all. I think it’s a bunch of bull.

Cora Bolds: Yeah.

Captain Brien: Because why would you not let every review go through?

Cora Bolds: Right.

Captain Brien: Who are you to say that that review was not valid?

Cora Bolds: Of course.

Captain Brien: Right?

Cora Bolds: I agree with that.

Captain Brien: Yeah, so that’s why Yelp, I think, is getting I think they’ve lost it

Cora Bolds: A bad rap.

Captain Brien: Yeah, I think they lost their mojo lately because everyone realizes now, the businesses are like, well wait a minute. We have all these reviews on all these other sites, and unless I pay to be a Yelp advertiser, my reviews aren’t gonna be posted?

Cora Bolds: Of course, of course.

Captain Brien: It’s crazy. Like no.

Cora Bolds: Right, I’m not less of a human.

Captain Brien: You can do it if you want, you can do it if you want, that’s your business, right? Like, that’s great. That’s your business model, but you’re not gonna be the number one brand for reviews. I’m done with them.

Cora Bolds: Right, right.

Captain Brien:I’m done with Yelp.

Cora Bolds: Everybody’s deleting Yelp.

Captain Brien: Yes, get out!

Cora Bolds: 2019, delete Yelp.

Captain Brien: Go home.

Cora Bolds: I love it. So, you told me a couple fun things, right?

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Cora Bolds: Which I don’t know, if people really got into it and they wanted to become an influencer, tell me the things that you’re focusing on, obviously is with you’re tagging certain brands, I mean you’re not gonna tag Chili’s if you’re selling,

Captain Brien: Right.

Cora Bolds: I don’t know, right, so you have to tell people how does that work? Explain that.

Captain Brien: So, you wanna be as accurate as you can when hashtagging, when tagging, you know, if it’s an outfit.

Cora Bolds: And there’s a difference between hashtagging,

Captain Brien: Right.

Cora Bolds: And tagging.

Captain Brien: And tagging.

Cora Bolds: Hashtagging, you’re allowed 30.

Captain Brien: Allowed 30 on Instagram.

Cora Bolds: Right, and you can put those, you told me a good trick, though, you like to put yours in the comments.

Captain Brien: I like to put mine in the comments, because I think it keeps it clean

Cora Bolds: Which I like, yeah.

Captain Brien: It keeps your Instagram cleaner.

Cora Bolds: It keeps, clean, she loves the technical term.

Captain Brien: Yeah, I like clean.

Cora Bolds: Clean means when she posts, that the post is not,

Captain Brien: You’re not getting bombarded,

Cora Bolds: Yeah doesn’t have a ton of hashtags.

Captain Brien: Right, hashtags.

Cora Bolds: Hashtags.

Captain Brien: If you put them in the first comment, you still get found the same way.

Cora Bolds: Okay.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Cora Bolds: So that’s a good tip.

Captain Brien: Yes.

Cora Bolds: I like that.

Captain Brien: You can use all 30, you know, why would you not increase, optimize the amount of traffic going to your page at all possible angles.

Cora Bolds: Right.

Captain Brien: Why wouldn’t you tag all 20 people in your photo,

Cora Bolds: And then tag the people in the photo.

Captain Brien: Yes, tag people.

Cora Bolds: So, I kinda get, I get tagged all the time. Is that why people are tagging me?

Captain Brien: Yeah, because they probably think people are going to your page, you know.

Cora Bolds: Yeah.

Captain Brien: They believe that you’re in some way an influencer and people are going to your page to look at what you’re doing, and they might check out your tagged photos, and they want that opportunity to be showcased there.

Cora Bolds: Gotcha, so, you think it’s okay, though, to tag as many people as you can up to 20?

Captain Brien: Oh yeah.

Cora Bolds: Always?

Captain Brien: Always. I always tag all 20.

Cora Bolds: And you post them right on top of each other?

Captain Brien: I put it right on top of each other, so that it’s not, when you click on the photo, you see a thousand, million tags.

Cora Bolds: Yeah, you do em boom, boom, boom.

Captain Brien: I put them right on top of each other, so you can still see my photo.

Cora Bolds: How bout the egg guy?

Captain Brien: The egg guy, oh my gosh, isn’t that, like,

Cora Bolds: It’s insane, right?

Captain Brien: He is crazy.

Captain Brien: He’s 19 years old. 19 years old, did you look at his tags?

Cora Bolds: I didn’t.

Captain Brien: You should look at his tags.

Cora Bolds: Are they funny?

Captain Brien: No, he tagged like CNN, he tagged Good Morning, America,

Cora Bolds: Yeah, he tagged-

Captain Brien: Mashable.

Cora Bolds: He knew what he was doing.

Captain Brien: He did know what he was doing.

Cora Bolds: He knew what he was doing.

Captain Brien: But, yet, he put them all over the place, which is cool, I get it, but he tagged Jimmy Fallon.

Cora Bolds: Oh my gosh.

Captain Brien: Like, he tagged a lot of accounts that I was like, interesting.

Cora Bolds: Big accounts, yeah.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Cora Bolds: Yeah.

Captain Brien: And you feel like, I feel like, obviously that’s what helped,

Cora Bolds: Oh, yeah

Captain Brien: because why wouldn’t, I mean, there’s no way people are just gonna follow an egg.

Cora Bolds: Right, or maybe people just don’t like Kylie Jenner.

Captain Brien: I like Kylie, I like the Jenners.

Captain Brien: I don’t like the Kardashians.

Captain Brien: Why not?

Cora Bolds: Because they’re talentless.

Captain Brien:The Kardashians and the Jenners, I’m a fan of both.

Cora Bolds: I’m out here trying to make it, and they did nothing.

Captain Brien: No, that’s not true.

Cora Bolds: Okay.

Captain Brien: That’s not true. What do you think, how long’s it take you to make one post?

Cora Bolds: About an hour.

Captain Brien: Okay, so it takes you an hour. So, they’re posting all the time.

Cora Bolds: Or, someone’s posting for them.

Captain Brien: And that’s their business. They’re not, I think they post. No, I think they do the pictures. So, they take the pictures, but I don’t know if they take the pictures themselves anymore.

Cora Bods: Yeah.

Captain Brien: But I doubtfully don’t think anyone posts for them. I don’t think they would give somebody that much control.

Cora Bolds: I think Kris is back there managing everything.

Captain Brien: You think?

Cora Bolds: I think so.

Captain Brien: No way.

Cora Bolds: I don’t know.

Captain Brien: I don’t know, all’s I know,

Cora Bolds: Maybe, they’re rich

Captain Brien: Maybe I’m doing it wrong, cause I take, all my posts take no more than five or 10 minutes. I need to put more time in.

Cora Bolds: You do, because you wanna be authentic. You don’t wanna be like, one sentence here and buy it, because that doesn’t create a relationship.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Cora Bolds: You wanna share something about yourself, share a problem, share a win, a loss.

Captain Brien: I got plenty of both,

Cora Bolds: Don’t we all.

Captain Brien: I need to start sharing away

Cora Bolds: Share something that people can connect to, that they can relate to, something that will get people involved and engaged.

Captain Brien: Yeah, and what’s your best post for the most likes, and then what’s your most engaging post?

Cora Bolds: So, the one that I just posted last week about my Miami Influencer event has like, I think, right around 960 likes.

Captain Brien: Yay!

Cora Bolds: Yeah. That’s the most I’ve ever gotten on a post, which is really good. I was excited, I thought it was gonna break 1000. This week, it’s gonna break 1000 likes.

Captain Brien: Yay!

Cora Bolds: It did have a lot of comments on it. I think, though, that my most engaging post for comments was my birthday post, because a lot of people said either happy birthday,

Captain Brien: Happy birthday.

Cora Bolds: Yeah, things like that. I like asking questions at the end of my post, So I’ll share a little excerpt from a story or something that happened to me that day or how I like the sangria, or whatever it is, and then I’ll be like, “what’s your favorite sangria?” or “where do you like to buy your sangria?” or “where do you go for sangria?” just to get something a little talking point to get people engaging in your content.

Captain Brien: Do you respond to every comment?

Cora Bolds: If it looks like a real account, yes, because I like that relationship marketing. I like building that relationship.

Captain Brien: I hate these comments that say tell me more about your business, like, come on.

Cora Bolds: Right.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Cora Bolds: Read a book.

Captain Brien: Right, yeah. No, go to my website, because that’s some robot asking me that question.

Cora Bolds: Right, of course.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Cora Bolds: Absolutely.

Captain Brien: But, so you’ll go on there and respond?

Cora Bolds: Yeah, yeah.

Captain Brien: What about DM’s?

Cora Bolds: I’m bad about DM’s. If it’s a branded deal, I like it to go to my email, cause I like, you know, that I get to go back and reference it. My DM’s, they get kind of pushed down.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

-Cora Bolds: My friends,

Captain Brien: They get clogged up.

Cora Bolds: They get clogged up.

Captain Brien: You’re getting all them DM’s, everyone’s sliding into your DM’s.

Cora Bolds: Everybody’s sliding into my DM’s.

Captain Brien: Hey Kim, how are you? Kim, Alex is on air, what’s going on? She says happy birthday.

Cora olds: Happy late birthday, aww.

Captain Brien: Yeah, yeah.

Cora Bolds: It was last August But that’s good.

Captain Brien: It’s good, it’s coming around again.

Cora Bolds: It is.

Captain Brien: I’ll be right around the corner.

Cora Bolds: I’ll be 23, oh my gosh.

Captain Brien: Wow, that’s interesting though, because this is like, and you’re graduating college.

Cora Bolds: I’m gonna graduate this fall, yep.

Captain Brien: And you’re gonna be studying?

Cora Bolds: I study marketing and political science.

Captain Brien: And what’s the future bring?

Cora Bolds: So, now that I have this Miami event for the influencers, I’m starting to get into a little bit of advanced

Captain Brien: Here we go, hey, hit the reset.

Cora Bolds: Event planning. I’m starting to get myself into event planning. I think that it’s a great opportunity to, you know, be your own boss, charge your own rates, you know, 160 thousand for a party, why not, you know?

Captain Brien: Yeah, you might as well.

Cora Bolds: These Naples people, they love that.

Captain Brien: I’ve gotten the event planning, I do event planning every day.

Cora Bolds: That’s so fun.

Captain Brien: Because I have 10 events every day, it’s called a comedy club.

Cora Bolds: But, no we do,

Cora Bolds: It’s the best comedy club.

Captain Brien: We do a lot of luncheons and private events and corporate stuff as well, so that’s an interesting business.

Cora Bolds: Yeah.

Captain Brien: You definitely, it can be brain-teasing at some times, and sometimes, it’s like a no-brainer. It just depends on what kind of event it is, but

Cora Bolds: Of course.

Captain Brien:  They’re all different in one way or another. You have one of your clients is super, super extra, and then you have the other client that just is like, make it happen, Captain. Do everything you did the last time, or do something like that other event we went to. That was spectacular, but yeah.

Cora Bolds: Yeah.

Captain Brien: It’s not all fun and games, sometimes.

Cora Bolds: It isn’t.

Captain Brien: No.

Cora Bolds: Sometimes, it’s a little hard to get in touch with everybody, and everybody on the same page, but, it is always worth it.

Captain Brien: So, you’re putting together all these influencers in Miami, and you’re gonna be going to, what’s the name of the place?

Cora Bolds: Sagrado Cafe.

Captain Brien: Okay, Sagrado Cafe, and what your going to be doing is, everyone’s gonna be on the ground, talking about what?

Cora Bolds: About the other influencers that are there, we have travel influencers, fashion influencers, lifestyle influencers, food influencers, health influencers, and businesses attending. So, we’re gonna get people with the fashion influencers with the fashion influencers, the lifestyle influencers with the lifestyle influencers, just so they can talk about what works for them, what gets them their content, what brands are working with, how to reach out to brands, we have people with up to 333 thousand followers that are coming to the event, and people that are at like 5,000 followers.

Captain Brien: And what’s the cost to attend?

Cora Bolds: So, the cost is about $15 for your ticket, and $20 when we eat, but it’s endless mimosas and sangria and cheesy bread, plus your brunch, so.

Captain Brien: Nice.

Cora Bolds: I mean it is, you know, it’s a cafe. It’s a business, they still have to make money, too. But, it is gonna be really exciting. I’m super excited for it. We have a photo wall coming in, we’ve got, we’ve reached out to local vendors to raffle off different items,

Captain Brien: And I’m gonna give you some tickets.

Cora Bolds:  And some tickets to the comedy club are always a win.

Captain Brien: Yes, yes, absolutely. I might even give you a bottle of vodka.

Cora Bolds: Oh my gosh

Captain Brien:  Should I do that?

Cora Bolds: I’m not giving that to the event, I’m taking that one home.

Captain Brien: No you can’t. Atleast you’re over the age,

Cora Bolds: Right, that’s true

Captain Brien: The drinking age is legal.

Cora Bolds: That’s true, right.

Captain Brien: That makes sense, that makes sense. And then tell me about what you do different on your story, cause there’s two different things, right, obviously, people are gonna be posting on a timeline, and then they’re gonna be posting on their story.

Cora Bolds: Right.

Captain Brien: Give us some good tricks on your story.

Cora Bolds: So, on your story, if you’re mentioning a brand, you always wanna, you know, actually mention them. You wanna tag them in there, so that they have the opportunity to see that.

Captain Brien: And add it to their story.

Cora Bolds: And add it to their story, which is great eseo-optimization. I mean you just, you need that sort of thing.

Captain Brien: Of course.

Cora Bolds: That’s grown my account authentically a lot. Getting shout outs from places like…

Captain Brien: How many do you tag in your story?

Cora Bolds: Just what’s there. If it’s

Captain Brien: You only tag in your story what you’re actually talking about?

Cora Bolds: Yes, of course.

Captain Brien: Yes.

Cora Bolds: Because, I don’t wanna be misleading.

Captain Brien: Right.

Cora Bolds: I don’t want somebody to click on that link, and they’re like, well this isn’t where the product’s from, who is this person?

Captain Brien: Right.

Cora Bolds: When I’m with friends, I’ll always tag all five of my friends if they’re in the video, just to increase their eseo as well.

Captain Brien: Absolutely.

Cora Bolds:Those back links are really helpful.

Captain Brien: Yeah. But they only last for 24 hours?

Cora Bolds: The only last for 24 hours, I put a lot of things in my highlights, I’m a big craft beer drinker, and I’m a big foodie, so I put all the good food and all the good porters and stouts in my highlights, just so if somebody missed it on the 24 hours, it can go back and see it.

Captain Brien: Right, so what do you think, you focus all your time and energy on Instagram, though, and you’re saying you don’t like Facebook.

Cora Bolds: I don’t really use Facebook.

Captain Brien: What about twitter?

Cora Bolds: I do have a twitter, but it’s my personal account, it’s just like some funny tweets I find funny.

Captain Brien:Okay.

Cora Bolds: So not much going on there.

Captain Brien: I’m not a big fan of twitter that much, so I can agree with you there. And what about LinkedIn?

Cora Bolds: I do have a LinkedIn, but it’s only for professional, like excursions, like businesses that want to hire me actually for jobs, like Gardner and things like that.

Captain Brien: Okay, but you don’t feel like putting any posts on there at all?

Episode 207 The Captain’s Log with America’s Got Talent Star Vicki Barbolak

Comedy, Live, Talkshow, Vlog, Vlogging, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 19:26 — 26.7MB) | Embed

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Special star Vicki Barbolak joins Captain Brien to talk about her experience and some of her favorite moments on America’s Got Talent and America’s Got Talent: The Champions, her upcoming shows at Off The Hook Comedy Club in Naples, Florida, and a failed attempt to sing a song about Rum in honor of Captain Brien’s Rum!

Watch full video at ———–>  https://youtu.be/m3yQUCGOTmE

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!

Check Vicki Barbolak out and show her some love at:

PODCAST RECAP

Miss something on one of our episodes of the #naplescaptainslog? Don’t worry we got you covered! Here you will find a full transcript from this episode of the #naplescaptainslog!

Captain Brien: Good morning, and welcome aboard The Captain’s Log. Vicki Barbolak, oh my goodness.

Vicki Barbolak: Ahoy, captain.

Captain Brien: I have a trailer, is it the trailer nasty, is that what I do?

Vicki Barbolak: It’s the trailer nasty.

Captain Brien: Let’s take a ride, we’re doing radio.

Vicki Barbolak: I got some Captain Brien rum.

Captain Brien: I already hooked you up with rum.

Vicki Barbolak: For the road.

Captain Brien: Is that good for you?

Vicki Barbolak: It’s delicious. Just my size, too. Nothing like a little gallon of rum at 10 in the morning to make a girl feel happy.

Captain Brien: So, yeah, so we’re gonna do some radio. We already did two stations, which was fun. We did Gator Country, in Bonita Springs, and then we just left I Heart Radio with 105.5 the Beat and the Freakshow so, it’s a long weekend here in Naples, all the way til Sunday, I’m excited. Shows are selling like crazy. We’re gonna have so much fun. And, I wanna know all kinds of good stuff about your career, and what you’ve been doing.

Vicki Barbolak: Ever since America’s Got Talent, like, it’s just like a whole different world. People come up to me, in the grocery store, in the airports. It’s just, liquor stores, you know, and not because I didn’t pay the bill. It’s a miracle. It’s just been so much fun.

Captain Brien: And how do you feel like, the future of your career’s gonna be?

Vicki Barbolak: I feel like a baby, like it just started. And, you know, I got people coming at me with television shows, and, just, like, everything I ever dreamed of is actually happening. I bought the second best trailer in my trailer park, can I, I’m just sorry to brag about that.

Captain Brien: You are, you are. But that’s okay.

Vicki Barbolak: You know I’m still the same person, Brien.

Captain Brien: You’re coming up, it’s big, it’s big time now.

Vicki Barbolak: I’m still the same person. Yeah. All is well.

Captain Brien: We can pull out here, and the sun is getting us. But we’re gonna pull right out, and just take our chances.

Vicki Barbolak: This is beautiful. Are we gonna see any alligators here in the street?

Captain Brien: I think so, right. Maybe crossing the road while we’re driving.

Vicki Barbolak: That’s what I’ve heard, they’re everywhere.

Captain Brien: So, the thing I wondered, really, is, and I briefly asked you before. When you’re on the show, they don’t do, like, they don’t tell you, like, okay, I want to set up this big stage for you this time? Or, do you do that? And then, what about the costumes, and the expense, and all that?

Vicki Barbolak: I got to have a lot of input on what I wear, because my clothes are, you know, very specific.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Vicki Barbolak: I’ve been shopping in thrift stores my whole life, and, I have a certain aesthetic.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Vicki Barbolak: And so. Sorry, this darn cough. Anyway, so I got to have a lot of input on the clothes. The first few shows, you bring your own clothes, and, so I did, and by the time you make the finals.

Captain Brien: You really, I don’t know if that’s actually.

Vicki Barbolak: Oh, it’s so good.

Captain Brien: That’s barrel aged.

Vicki Barbolak: Damn, that smells good.

Captain Brien: In bourbon barrels, you like that?

Vicki Barbolak: This smells delicious

Captain Brien: Are you gonna go right out there?

Vicki Barbolak: Just wakes me right up. I have to make sure there’s some police around before I take a big drink.

Captain Brien: Yeah, let’s do that. Let’s make sure. Let’s pour it all over ourselves.

Vicki Barbolak: Because I like to be stopped.

Captain Brien: If they pull us over, they immediately get the aroma of alcohol.

Vicki Barbolak: Is it illegal in Florida to drink and drive?

Captain Brien: Yeah, I think so.

Vicki Barbolak: Is it an issue?

Captain Brien: It’s pretty sure, yeah.

Vicki Barbolak: Oh, I had no idea. I thought it was different here. People are always on vacation.

Captain Brien: No, it’s definitely.

Vicki Barbolak: Let me put the cap back on, Captain.

Captain Brien: Put it on tight.

Vicki Barbolak: So not gonna taste it in the car. Officer.

Captain Brien: This is a prop, it’s a stage prop. That’s all. We were just making sure.

Vicki Barbolak: This isn’t even real.

Captain Brien: It’s legit, so, for tonight. That’s all we’re doing.

Vicki Barbolak: Well, there’s the next radio station. As soon as we stop, I can have some, right?

Captain Brien: Yeah, of course, I’m not gonna hold that back from you, come on.

Vicki Barbolak: This stuff smells divine.

Captain Brien: I have to make sure the talent is comfortable on the Captain’s Log.

Vicki Barbolak: Absolutely. If you’re gonna drink all day, you gotta start in the morning.

Captain Brien: Yes, yes.

Vicki Barbolak: And we’re coming up to that 10:00 start time.

Captain Brien: So, who planned, like, I just saw you on the champions, right?

Vicki Barbolak: Yeah

Captain Brien: Which was awesome. And you came out with these two good looking dudes. Like, did you have to get the dudes?

Vicki Barbolak: I got the dancers.

Captain Brien: They got ’em.

Vicki Barbolak: And they were such nice guys. I worked with them around, 26, 30 hours. Getting that out.

Captain Brien: To make sure.

Vicki Barbolak: I had them over to the house, yeah, to make sure they did just right.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Vicki Barbolak: And they kissed. Yeah, that took a lot of work.

Captain Brien: Yeah, a lot of practice.

Vicki Barbolak: A lot of kissing.

Captain Brien: I understand.

Vicki Barbolak: They were gorgeous.

Captain Brien: I understand.

Vicki Barbolak: One was from Russia, the other one was from Latin America. Oh, yeah.

Captain Brien: That’s cute. It was very well done.

Vicki Barbolak: It was super fun, and, the whole show, they really make it fun. Everyone there that is a really loving atmosphere. People are so. You think it’d be really terrible ordeal.

Captain Brien: No, I would never think it was terrible, why? Why would I think it was terrible?

Vicki Barbolak: Not you, because you’re a positive person. But a lot of people go, oh, was it horrible? Was it just so much stress? And it really wasn’t, it was really fun.

Captain Brien: Yeah, I would totally think that it would be, obviously, it’s been a life changer for you.

Vicki Barbolak: Oh yeah.

Captain Brien: But not only life changer, like the experience is once in a lifetime, right?

Vicki Barbolak: I never forgot that, every day. People go, Vicki, sorry we’re making you wait. Sorry this is so long. I go, hey, I can sit here all day, and never have a better day in my life

Captain Brien: Right?

Vicki Barbolak: So, it was so much fun.

Captain Brien: And then there is a lot of talent on the show. I mean, do you get to watch any of the other acts?

Vicki Barbolak: Yeah.

Captain Brien: Or do you have to watch them on the monitor?

Vicki Barbolak: No, I got to see Courtney live all the time. And then, if you weren’t busy, you could go watch other people’s rehearsals. It was really fun.

Captain Brien: That’s so cool.

Vicki Barbolak: Yeah, that giant group from Austria, those dancers. Seeing that live was amazing. And then the Champions show, seeing Susan Boyle sing live was, like, crazy. The room, you just get goosebumps everywhere.

Captain Brien: Oh, yeah. She did a good performance, right?

Vicki Barbolak: Yeah, she was amazing.

Captain Brien: That was exciting.

Vicki Barbolak: She sang that song Wild Horses. And, that was amazing to hear her sing Wild Horses.

Captain Brien: She was great. I mean, I like the back story too, though. How do they do the back story? Do they come out and film stuff with you guys, or what?

Vicki Barbolak: Yeah, they came out to the trailer park a bunch of times. And, you know, they film like 10 hours to get two or three minutes, it was hilarious. They had drones flying over the trailer park, and, all the old neighbors are like, what’s that? Is that a plane? Was there a plane? Vicki, was that a plane? Yeah, it was a little tiny plane, with a little tiny guy driving the little tiny plane. It’s so fun.

Captain Brien: And then you got to hang out with Preacher Lawson the other day.

Vicki Barbolak: Yeah, he is so great. What a nice guy.

Captain Brien: One of his first shows was his open mic at my club.

Vicki Barbolak: You’re kidding me.

Captain Brien: No, I’m serious. Yeah, yeah.

Vicki Barbolak: Oh my love, he’s awesome.

Captain Brien: He’s great.

Vicki Barbolak: He’s so great. What a great person, too.

Captain Brien: He’s really nice, really positive dude.

Vicki Barbolak: Yeah. It’s not gonna change his thing.

Captain Brien: No.

Vicki Barbolak: He’s just such a good guy.

Captain Brien: And I don’t see it changing you. I think you’re gonna enjoy the fame, but I don’t see you like, what do you feel like? You feel like, oh my God, now I’m a huge star? What’s it like?

Vicki Barbolak: No, I just feel like a big bottle of gratitude. That’s all I feel like.

Captain Brien: Just a whole bottle?

Vicki Barbolak: This is filled with gratitude. In my body.

Captain Brien: Ah, that’s exciting. That really is.

Vicki Barbolak: It’s so great.

Captain Brien: And, you’re married. You’re on your third marriage.

Vicki Barbolak: Third marriage. My favorite and current husband Lou is a piano player at the Comedy Store, so. He’s a great guy.

Captain Brien: And, you met him playing the piano. Do you sing, or do you just enjoy his piano playing?

Vicki Barbolak: No, I don’t sing, ever.

Captain Brien: Nothing.

Vicki Barbolak: Because I love people.

Captain Brien: I’m terrible at singing.

Vicki Barbolak: Oh, me too. Oh.

Captain Brien: We should sing.

Vicki Barbolak: We should sing, you wanna sing?

Captain Brien: I mean, I could try.

Vicki Barbolak: What should we sing? What’s a good Florida song?

Captain Brien: I know Happy Birthday.

Vicki Barbolak: That’s a good one.

Captain Brien: That’s a really, that’s a good one, right?

Vicki Barbolak: We gotta sing the bottle of rum song.

Captain Brien: Oh, is there a rum song? ♪ 99 bottles of rum on the wall. ♪

Vicki Barbolak: No, a bottle. Rum, I can’t remember right now.

Captain Brien: What is it? ♪ Drink one down ♪ ♪ Pass it around ♪ No? That’s a beer. Damn, I don’t even know of a song.

Vicki Barbolak: You know, I think we’re doing people a favor right now.

Captain Brien: Yeah, I’m so bad. So not musically talented. I don’t even remember the songs. Not even nursery rhymes, hardly.

Vicki Barbolak: Can’t do it.

Captain Brien: Only nursery rhymes I tend to remember, is, Dice.

Vicki Barbolak: Oh yeah, those are so funny.

Captain Brien: Right?

Vicki Barbolak: Telling your little children those. Chickory, chickory doc.

Captain Brien: Oh my God, I don’t think this one goes like that. My daughter’s like, daddy, that’s not the right one, daddy.

Vicki Barbolak: No.

Captain Brien: And she’s at school.

Vicki Barbolak: You know what I’ve been worried about lately, I went to the BevMo the other day, and they sell tiny little.

Captain Brien: Where’d you go?

Vicki Barbolak: BevMo.

Captain Brien: What’s that?

Vicki Barbolak: A liquor store, you don’t have those?

Captain Brien: No.

Vicki Barbolak: It’s like a giant, it’s like Costco of liquor.

Captain Brien: Oh, I need to get hooked up with them, right?

Vicki Barbolak: Yes, of course.

Captain Brien: They could start carrying my brand.

Vicki Barbolak: I’ll bring it over. I know everyone at every BevMo. And so, they sell these little juice boxes by the cash registers. The same size boxes as Juicy Juice. With cocktails.

Captain Brien: Oh, perfect.

Vicki Barbolak: And I’m like, how many mothers are gonna be asleep when their kids are packing their little lunches. They’re gonna be drinking, you know, a margarita at their little kindergarten lunch.

Captain Brien: But what about the, like the wine? You see all these new wine carriers and stuff. Is it a problem? Like, are people struggling to drink wine, that they have to come up with all these creative new cases, and ways to travel with it?

Vicki Barbolak: It is just, I think people like.

Captain Brien: Like I see the wine purse now. The wine necklace. Have you seen the wine watch?

Vicki Barbolak: I have not got a wine watch. I’ve got a wine purse, and I’ve got a wine backpack. But, the wine boxes for individual carry, and for picnics and stuff, and also for driving on your way to work when you, when you, you know.

Captain Brien: Need another bottle.

Vicki Barbolak: Not in your car.

Captain Brien: You don’t want a bottle rolling around. A box is much better.

Vicki Barbolak: So much quieter.

Captain Brien: Yeah, yeah. And then you have the cork earrings.

Vicki Barbolak: I have the cork earrings, of course.

Captain Brien: And, did you make those?

Vicki Barbolak: A lady in my trailer park makes them. But I did drink this wine.

Captain Brien: That’s beautiful.

Vicki Barbolak: Yeah, she makes them. I give her, she needs a little money, so it works out perfect.

Captain Brien: Yeah, so you plug it.

Vicki Barbolak: Yeah. So.

Captain Brien: Well, you’re gonna be at Off the Hook Comedy Club. Tonight’s show is nine o’clock. That’s Thursday.

Vicki Barbolak: Party down tonight, ladies.

Captain Brien: And, the Friday is seven and nine, and Saturday is seven and nine. And Sunday is seven. Get tickets at offthehookcomedy.com. But of course, do you want to give away a ticket right now? Two tickets to tonight’s show? What do they have to do?

Vicki Barbolak: They could do something?

Captain Brien: Yeah, let’s let them, make them do something.

Vicki Barbolak: Call and tell us a joke?

Captain Brien: You have to message us right now. What city you’re in. If you’re in Naples or Fort Myers, then you have to message us, and you have to say who your favorite person is on AGT.

Vicki Barbolak: Okay.

Captain Brien: Like, the judges.

Vicki Barbolak: Okay, the judges.

Captain Brien: Who’s your favorite judge?

Vicki Barbolak: It’s gotta be Simon.

Captain Brien: Yeah, of course, he fell in love with you.

Vicki Barbolak: I’m in love with him.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Vicki Barbolak: Yeah, and his wife is in really good health. I probably don’t have a shot there.

Captain Brien: Dammit.

Vicki Barbolak: But, you know, it doesn’t matter, because it’s like, I believe in like, you gotta be attracted to other men, especially if you’re married or in your relationship. People feel like it’s putting gas in your tank. Because when you’re with your husband or something, you ask them to speak, in my case, in a British accent. And it just brings everything new.

Captain Brien: Right, it’s a whole new.

Vicki Barbolak: I’m all over Lou, I’m attacking him, like.

Captain Brien: It’s a whole new, it’s a new guy.

Vicki Barbolak: I’m putting him in a little black T-shirt. He doesn’t mind.

Captain Brien: No, do you make him sit behind the table and judge you?

Vicki Barbolak: And judge me?

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Vicki Barbolak: For what I do for that, he’s very happy to do it.

Captain Brien: No buzzer, if he gives you the buzzer, forget about it.

Vicki Barbolak: Not that he hasn’t.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Vicki Barbolak: Yeah

Captain Brien: One buzzer, he’s done.

Vicki Barbolak: It makes me jump like a seal.

Captain Brien: So listen, the cutest thing you said about Lou, though, was his Louber. He gave you a Louber ride?

Vicki Barbolak: Yeah, that is the first thing.

Captain Brien: That’s the cutest thing.

Vicki Barbolak: I couldn’t get an Uber, so I had to call a Louber, and that’s how it started.

Captain Brien: I love that joke. You know why, maybe I like it so much is because, my mom and dad, they’ve been married over 50 years.

Vicki Barbolak: Wow.

Captain Brien: And, they met, as well, at school, but my mom needed a ride home, and she never wanted to date my dad, until one day, my dad, my grandfather told my mom, you need a ride home today, because you have all this stuff to carry. Why don’t you ask that guy that asks you every day? And my dad was in, and that was it.

Vicki Barbolak: That’s so cool.

Captain Brien: Yeah, yeah, so, he got a Santos.

Vicki Barbolak: See, never give up.

Captain Brien: Because his name is Santo.

Vicki Barbolak: Never give up.

Captain Brien: So I gotta come up with a funny ride for him.

Vicki Barbolak: Santo, his name is Santos?

Captain Brien: Yes, Santo.

Vicki Barbolak: Santo, what a cool name.

Captain Brien: Yeah, so he’s Italian.

Vicki Barbolak: I love it, of course he’s Italian.

Captain Brien: That’s my middle name.

Vicki Barbolak: Delicious.

Captain Brien: Brien Santos Spina.

Vicki Barbolak: Oh, I love it. I went to Italy, and the guidebooks say, don’t stare back at the Italian men, or they’re consider it like, a sign of encouragement.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Vicki Barbolak: So I was like. I did not shut my eyes for two weeks.

Captain Brien: You were gawking at them all?

Vicki Barbolak: Hey, get over here.

Captain Brien: You know, I didn’t know that, because, honestly, when I was 19, I spent a week in Venice myself. But the women wouldn’t look at me, and I’m thinking, well, it’s because I got dark hair, and I look exactly like all the rest of the Italians.

Vicki Barbolak: They’re trained not to.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Vicki Barbolak: You should have. Vicki Barbolak would’ve been hey.

Captain Brien: I was thinking, if I came here with blond hair, they’d all be looking at me, but no.

Vicki Barbolak: No. It’s the guidebooks. They all know. And I mean like, once I found that out, I was home.

Captain Brien: Now I feel better about myself. Yeah, you’re good for my ego. Because, it’s been a long time, and I was struggling.

Vicki Barbolak: A good looking guy like you, forget it. Now you know.

Captain Brien: Now I know.

Vicki Barbolak: Just head down.

Captain Brien: It’s all it was, it’s a thing they do there. They just don’t stare.

Vicki Barbolak: No, they pinch, oh my God.

Captain Brien: On the cheeks, you like the pinch on the cheeks?

Vicki Barbolak: Of course.

Captain Brien:  Nah, it’s too much.

Vicki Barbolak: On the butt cheek.

Captain Brien: Oh. On the buttocks, yeah.

Vicki Barbolak: Yeah, yeah, all the time. I felt like I had a little happy target. It was beautiful.

Captain Brien: It is nice.

Vicki Barbolak:Mm, I love Italy.

Captain Brien: I’ll go with a pinch on the butt, over a pinch on the cheek.

Vicki Barbolak: Oh, nobody does that.

Captain Brien: It’s too much, right?

Vicki Barbolak: No, God, no.

Captain Brien: It might mess up my Botox, too.

Vicki Barbolak: Oh, yeah, cack. Botox goes squirtin’ out there like that.

Captain Brien: Yeah, it’s terrible.

Vicki Barbolak: So is there any deals on plastic surgery while I’m here, by any chance?

Captain Brien: I have all the deals on that, yes.

Vicki Barbolak: Can you hook me up with something?

Captain Brien: What are you interested in?

Vicki Barbolak: I need my lips done.

Captain Brien: Oh, I could do that.

Vicki Barbolak: Well, I had my lips done, but you can’t tell, because I’m wearing pants. But, I would like to have my.

Captain Brien: Yeah, well, we do vagina rejuvenation, Dr. Dolla does it.

Vicki Barbolak: Dr. Dollar?

Captain Brien: Yeah, he’s on my podcast on Tuesdays.

Vicki Barbolak: The vagina rejuvenation? Yeah, cool.

Captain Brien: And he’ll do Botox, and lips, you could do everything.

Vicki Barbolak: I would never waste money on my vagina.

Captain Brien: Really?

Vicki Barbolak: If the man cannot enjoy himself down there, and I have to spend money on it, then I’m finding a different guy. There’s too many men out there.

Captain Brien: Yeah. And there’s not enough vaginas.

Vicki Barbolak: I’m spending money on this stuff, that I care about.

Captain Brien: That you want to see.

Vicki Barbolak: I want to see. I don’t look down there. I can’t even bend that far.

Captain Brien: It takes a while to check it out, too. It’s a hard angle.

Vicki Barbolak: Who would do that? Ridiculous.

Captain Brien: Yeah. There’s probably not an Instagram, there’s probably not an Instagram good angle on that.

Vicki Barbolak: No.

Captain Brien: I mean, you talk about angles.

Vicki Barbolak: I’m infuriated by that, actually. Ladies, stop doing that.

Captain Brien: You don’t want it?

Vicki Barbolak: No.

Captain Brien: I thought, like, that’s a thing.

Vicki Barbolak: Ridiculous. It’s a dumb thing for men. It’s stupid.

Captain Brien: It’s just for the guys.

Vicki Barbolak: It’s just for them. Enough we give them. We cook and all that shit. We don’t have to do that.

Captain Brien: Oh my God, that’s hysterical.

Vicki Barbolak: I would like my lips blown up.

Captain Brien: I know one question I wanted to ask you. I have all these questions, and I’ve given you no, I haven’t asked any of them. Where’d you get the trailer nasty idea? Like, is that a whole thing you came up with before the show, or was it? Yeah, so it was a whole thing before the show?

Vicki Barbolak: Yeah. It just came to me. You know, jokes are like little things. Just drop in your head. And that just dropped in my head one day, trailer nasty. I liked the way it sounded.

Captain Brien: It’s nasty. People like it.

Vicki Barbolak: It’s good.

Captain Brien: Yeah, no one wants to be.

Vicki Barbolak: Trailer clean.

Captain Brien: Trailer clean, yeah, exactly. You know what I’m saying? I think it’s a good marketing campaign, it’s worked out well, huh?

Vicki Barbolak: People have fun with it, yep. And we actually copyrighted it, yeah. So, I’m grateful for that.

Captain Brien: So you need to have like a trailer nasty TV show.

Vicki Barbolak: That’s it, that’s what they’re thinking about.

Captain Brien: Is that what they’re gonna do?

Vicki Barbolak: Maybe, yeah. I like it. Oh my gosh.

Captain Brien: This light’s pink, I think it’s pink. I’m gonna go for it.

Vicki Barbolak: Oh my gosh.

Captain Brien: You know why? Because it was pink.

Vicki Barbolak: I can have a drink and relax.

Captain Brien: It was right in the timing.

Vicki Barbolak: It was so legal.

Captain Brien: One way or the other.

Vicki Barbolak: There’s no way. I would just not even worry about that. I’m driving around with an open bottle of rum. You wanna run a couple of lights, what the hell?

Captain Brien: What’s the rum got to do with it? A couple lights aren’t gonna hurt anyone.

Vicki Barbolak: No, everything’s good. Running with the Captain in the morning. There’s a crocodile right there, holy shit.

Captain Brien: We’re like regular rum runners.

Vicki Barbolak: He must be 14 feet long.

Captain Brien: We’re like a rum runner.

Vicki Barbolak: We’re rum runners, that’s what I call it.

Captain Brien: Yeah, we’re bootleggin’ this. We’re like pirates, we’re gonna pillage and plunder.

Vicki Barbolak: I wanna get in my bathing suit.

Captain Brien: We need to go to the store, by the way, and go buy you some lingerie, you said.

Vicki Barbolak: I need, I forgot to bring a, is that a policeman?

Captain Brien: That’s a cop.

Vicki Barbolak: Holy shit.

Captain Brien: Ah, right in the middle.

Vicki Barbolak: Is he watching Facebook Live?

Captain Brien: He probably is.

Vicki Barbolak: Shit.

Captain Brien: We have a lot of fans.

Vicki Barbolak: Crap, I didn’t even think about that. Somebody’s probably calling the cops, saying we’re driving around drinking.

Captain Brien: Always.

Vicki Barbolak: I never really opened this bottle, ossifer.

Captain Brien: No, we’re not, we’re not drinking. We’re not drinking.

Vicki Barbolak: I can get away, I can get out of it.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Vicki Barbolak: I’ll trace my body for this cop stuff.

Captain Brien: Have you used, like, some comedy to get out of tickets in the past?

Vicki Barbolak: Yeah.

Captain Brien: What’s your move?

Vicki Barbolak: I have this one line. I did this one time. I did trace my body one time, that really happened, too. I traced my body with my girlfriend.

Captain Brien: Wait, tell me about tracing your body. What is that?

Vicki Barbolak: Trace your body, if you wanna get noticed, a friend of mine, Lisa, the geisha, I don’t wanna say she’s my best friend, but anyway. So she has this thing to get noticed, you go like this. Trace your body.

Captain Brien: Trace.

Vicki Barbolak: Trace your body, right.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Vicki Barbolak: Yeah. So, this cop pulled me over one night, I came right out of the club, he pulled me right over. He’s like I want you to walk the line. I said, okay officer, but first, I have to trace my body. And I got out of it, and then.

Captain Brien: Did you tell him, trace your body, or did you just?

Vicki Barbolak: I did it for him, because he asked me to step out and walk the line, I said, just a minute. And he cracked up. And I had not been drinking, I just literally came out of the club. And then the other time was a speeding thing, and he goes, okay, you’re a comedian. I go, I’m sorry, I’m tired. It was late at night, I was completely sober, and I had been, I was driving fast, and I was exhausted. And I shouldn’t have been driving fast, but, he pulled me over and he goes, okay, well, tell me a joke if you’re really a comedian. And I told him this one classic joke, and he let me off.

Captain Brien: And that was it, that was a good move.

Vicki Barbolak: Do you want to hear the joke?

Captain Brien: Yeah, of course I do.

Vicki Barbolak: Can it have a nasty word in it?

Captain Brien: Yeah, absolutely.

Vicki Barbolak: So, here’s the joke I said. How do you get a nun pregnant?

Captain Brien: How?

Vicki Barbolak: How do you get a nun pregnant?

Captain Brien: I don’t know.

Vicki Barbolak: You fuck her.

Captain Brien: That makes sense.

Vicki Barbolak: Yeah.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Vicki Barbolak: And he laughed, and he let me off.

Captain Brien: That’s good, that’s a good move.

Vicki Barbolak: You can have it.

Captain Brien: I’ll take it.

Vicki Barbolak: Everybody out there, too.

Captain Brien: I’ll take it, everyone take that joke.

Vicki Barbolak: You’ll never get a ticket.

Captain Brien: Retweet it, that’s a good retweet.

Vicki Barbolak: There you go.

Captain Brien: Well, thank you so much for spending time with me today. It wasn’t like you had a choice.

Vicki Barbolak: I enjoyed it, I loved it.

Captain Brien: We’re in the car, so you can’t really run away from me.

Vicki Barbolak: Hey, there’s my first trailer park.

Captain Brien: That’s your people.

Vicki Barbolak: My cherry, I popped my first trailer cherry here in Naples, boom boom.

Captain Brien: There’s a lot of them, actually, look.

Vicki Barbolak: Look at that.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Vicki Barbolak: Oh those are more like, yeah.

Captain Brien: Are those good ones or bad ones?

Vicki Barbolak: Those are star wagons. No, those are nice, I mean, I like the permanently affixed ones.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Vicki Barbolak: I’m not going anywhere once I find a pretty trailer.

Captain Brien: Well, there’s a lot of high end trailer parks.

Vicki Barbolak: You know, I’m gonna spend the afternoon, probably visiting them.

Captain Brien: Yeah, there’s some seriously high-end ones.

Vicki Barbolak: Other people go to museums, that’s what I do.

Captain Brien: Yeah?

Vicki Barbolak: I drive around trailers.

Captain Brien: There’s a couple.

Vicki Barbolak: Security, though, can be tough.

Captain Brien: There’s some that actually have lots, over half a million, just for the lots.

Vicki Barbolak: I believe it. And sometimes you can’t get in. I mean, the security won’t let me in half the time.

Captain Brien: Yeah, well tell them who you are.

Vicki Barbolak: I’ve done it.

Captain Brien: Tell them you put trailer parks on the map.

Vicki Barbolak: These security guards could care less if I’m on America’s Got Talent, they’re like, I’m sorry ma’am, you’re gonna have to get a realtor to get in here. I’m like, what realtor would believe I can afford this place?

Captain Brien: Well, thank you so much for being on the show. It’s been great.

Vicki Barbolak: See you guys for the show.

Captain Brien: Yeah, go to offthehookcomedy.com, check in. Thank you.

Episode 206 The Captain’s Log with Special Guest Daniel Dragan!

Comedy, Food, health and fitness, Instagram, Live, Radio, Talkshow, Vlog, Vlogging, , , , , , , , , ,

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 14:02 — 19.3MB) | Embed

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Help us clean our beaches and keep them on the list of best in the world! Guest today Daniel Dragan has started a new organization that has big goals to stay clean!

Watch full video here ————–> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOeDpSAg5XU

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!

Check Daniel Dragen out and show him some love at:

PODCAST RECAP

Miss something on one of our episodes of the #naplescaptainslog? Don’t worry we got you covered! Here you will find a full transcript from this episode of the #naplescaptainslog!

Captain Brien: Welcome back guys, I missed you for a few days. We’re back with the Captain’s Log. My guest today, Daniel Dragon. Cleanourworld.org?

Daniel Dragon: .org, yes.

Captain Brien: .org. That’s interesting.

Captain Brien: Morning. I love it, I love it. So, is this a clean world outfit? What’re you wearing?

Daniel Dragon: This outfit is just related to the weather this morning, Brien.

Captain Brien: It’s so cold in Florida, right?

Daniel Dragon: It’s only 46.

Captain Brien: Yeah I woke up this morning early and a took a, I got on my bike and then I went back in the house and I got my winter coat on, ’cause it was so damn cold.

Daniel Dragon: Out of curiosity I was looking at the warmest places in Antarctica, it’s 68.

Captain Brien: Really?

Daniel Dragon: For real.

Captain Brien: Today?

Daniel Dragon: Not today.

Captain Brien: Ah.

Daniel Dragon: But that’s the record in Antarctica.

Captain Brien: Wow!

Daniel Dragon: So, thanks for having me.

Captain Brien: Yeah of course, of course.

Daniel Dragon: On the Captain’s Log.

Captain Brien: I am always interested.

Captain Brien: I try to do a lot of things with, with as you know I am a commercial fisherman. I haven’t been commercial fishing for a long time but, I do love the environment, I love the commercial fishing industry and obviously the beaches and everything that our ecosystem has here in southwest Florida, with the 10,000 islands and all the beautiful beaches in Naples. And your goal, it’s a new organization, yes?

Daniel Dragon: Yes, ah, my friends and I got together and we decided we want to help. I know there are a lot of organizations that help in cleaning the environment.

Captain Brien: Right.

Daniel Dragon: But we live here, we love this place.

Captain Brien: Absolutely.

Daniel Dragon: For a reason, we’re by the beach, so, and we have these beaches as the top 10 beaches in the world.

Captain Brien: Absolutely.

Daniel Dragon: So, we wanna keep it that way. Therefore, we want to get together and bring in as many people as we can to help clean the beaches.

Captain Brien: And you, obviously judging by the accent and the clothing, you’re not from Florida.

Daniel Dragon: I have been here for 16 years now.

Captain Brien: Okay good, you have been here a long time. I have been here 21.

Daniel Dragon: I wanted to make a comment on, it’s really been an honor to be on your log. Because you have famous people here normally and funny people, I’m not that funny. Only my wife thinks I’m hilarious.

Captain Brien: She does, well that’s good because that’s a good start. At least somebody does, usually the wife thinks you’re the least funniest.

Daniel Dragon: Yeah and to tie that in with where I’m from. Our first date, my wife and I, asked me, “What’s up with his accent?” I said, “What accent?”

Captain Brien: It’s fake.

Daniel Dragon: It’s not an accent.

Daniel Dragon: You know, when was young, I had a speech impediment.

Captain Brien: Oh

Daniel Dragon: I was speaking Romanian.

Captain Brien: Okay.

Daniel Dragon: I’m still recovering from that.

Captain Brien: I like it, I like it. So she thought that was hilarious.

Captain Brien: That was good, that was good.

Daniel Dragon: So, yeah, I have been here for quite a bit. I do love this area and the beaches here.

Captain Brien: So what got you into the idea that you wanted to start a new, you’re shooting for the goal of a 501C3.

Daniel Dragon: Yes.

Captain Brien: I’ve been through the steps myself. So it does take quite a while. How long did you start the organization? How long has it been?

Daniel Dragon: It’s been a couple of months.

Captain Brien: Okay.

Daniel Dragon: And it started off with a concert I went to where after the concert people started picking up after themselves. There were golf carts that came in and dropped trash bags and everybody started picking up the trash.

Captain Brien: Oh that’s nice, on the beach?

Daniel Dragon: That was not on the beach.

Captain Brien: Okay.

Daniel Dragon: That was at a concert.

Captain Brien: Oh okay, like it was festival.

Daniel Dragon: Correct and I loved it, I loved the idea so much. Everybody was participating and I said, “We should always do that.”

Captain Brien: Right.

Daniel Dragon: Why don’t we always to that everywhere we go. Pick up after ourselves.

Captain Brien: I have a little superstition, so my grandfather always used to say, I fish a lot and he used to take me fishing. So he’d say, “You always have to leave the place that you’re fishing cleaner than when you got there.” Not only do you not leave anything behind, you have to pick up what’s there.

Daniel Dragon: I agree.

Captain Brien: Because you use the environment, you use the fishing. You enjoyed everything.

Daniel Dragon: Yep.

Captain Brien: So clean it up so the next person can even if you didn’t make the mess so I do. So I really do believe in that. And I just think that with Naples, Florida, we have some of the top beaches in the world. What’s the guy, Dr. Beach, he give us the top 10, right?

Daniel Dragon: Right, yep.

Captain Brien: We got the top 10 beach.

Daniel Dragon: We’re proud of that, we want to keep it.

Captain Brien: It’s beautiful, we wanna keep it clean and I think that more organizations that doing that, the better. There’s never enough, there’s always, you’re always looking I’m sure for volunteers to meet up. So, when you do you guys do it and how can people follow you and meet up and start participating in your organization?

Daniel Dragon: Sorry, I was looking down, I was trying to–

Captain Brien: That’s okay, that’s okay.

Daniel Dragon: Captain’s Log profile.

Captain Brien: No one was yelling at you, they were yelling at me.

Daniel Dragon: We are, you can find us on Facebook.

Captain Brien: Yep.

Daniel Dragon: Look up cleanourworld.org.

Captain Brien: Okay.

Daniel Dragon: Or online, just type in cleanourworld.org.

Captain Brien: Yep.

Daniel Dragon: And follow the events. This is the first event we have and it’s this weekend. Saturday.

Captain Brien: And where do they meet up?

Daniel Dragon: We have four meet up points or check in locations.

Daniel Dragon:  We’re also provide–

Captain Brien: Hey Rainy, how are you?

Daniel Dragon: We’ll also provide free supplies, we will bring the bags. We’ll bring the gloves.

Captain Brien: Yep.

Daniel Dragon: Even sunscreen and water.

Captain Brien: Okay

Daniel Dragon: For the volunteers, we do need more volunteers.

Captain Brien: So who’s providing, who gave you the money to start with the bags and the screen and how did you raise that those funds?

Daniel Dragon: We started, first I went through all my friends and their businesses.

Captain Brien: Okay.

Daniel Dragon: I asked them if they wanna be sponsors. We do have a few sponsors at this point. We have EcoGreen cleaning solutions.

Captain Brien: Yup.

Daniel Dragon: They help with some of the supplies. And Village Home and Office Care. They’re very happy to help with covering some of these cost.

Captain Brien: Right.

Daniel Dragon: And let’s not forget Naples FL Taxi. He’s my favorite

Daniel Dragon: Oh that’s great. taxi guy in Florida, in Naples. So, we

Captain Brien: And how many people in your organization now, that are gonna be there on Saturday? What’s your estimate, so you have four locations. You have gotta have four people, at least?

Daniel Dragon: We have four people. That’s me, my wife, my step-son and a friend of ours.

Captain Brien: Okay and each one’s gonna be at each location.

Daniel Dragon: Correct, the locations are Fort Myers Beach.

Captain Brien: Okay.

Daniel Dragon: It’ll be beach access 33, which is south of Lani Kai.

Captain Brien: Yep.

Daniel Dragon: Second one is Bonita Beach Park. Easy to find on Google Maps.

Captain Brien: Yep.

Daniel Dragon: The next one is Vanderbilt and Lowdermilk in Naples.

Captain Brien: Okay so they’ll meet there at what time?

Daniel Dragon: Eight o’clock.

Captain Brien: Eight o’clock on Saturday.

Daniel Dragon: And we plan from eight to 10 to pick up what we can find. At 10 we will start gathering all the trash bags together.

Captain Brien: Saturday the 20th?

Captain Brien: Saturday the 19th.

Captain Brien: The 19th, okay.

Captain Brien: Eight a.m.

Captain Brien: On the 19th at eight a.m.

Daniel Dragon: So eight a.m. to 10 a.m., at 10:30 we’ll leave and maybe meet up for breakfast somewhere.

Captain Brien: Okay.

Daniel Dragon: I do have all the details on the Facebook event. So look up for Beach Clean Up Southwest Florida.

Captain Brien: Yep.

Daniel Dragon: Our goal is to get this to become contagious.

Captain Brien: Absolutely, how often do you plan on doing the beach clean up?

Daniel Dragon: At least once a quarter, probably more, hopefully. But we wanna do, we start with the beach because it’s easy and fun for everyone and we’ll get involved in cleaning some other neighborhoods.

Captain Brien: You have a little cleaning device?

Daniel Dragon: Yes, well, I am a big proponent of concealed carry of a trash picker upper. Hold on I don’t know if you can see here, there you go.

Captain Brien: You gotta get it going.

Daniel Dragon: There you go

Captain Brien: Has that one actually been used yet?

Daniel Dragon: No, not yet.

Captain Brien: Not yet, that’s a clean one.

Daniel Dragon: It’s a clean one, it’s fresh.

Captain Brien: Alright, alright, that’s good.

Daniel Dragon: We have some to provide for those who can’t.

Captain Brien: That’s great. And those were donated by the first few sponsors that you already mentioned, that’s great.

Daniel Dragon: Correct, they helped in with the costs. So thank you sponsors for that. And if anybody else wants to get involved if you cannot clean but wanna be involved, please be a sponsor.

Captain Brien: And you’re going to also, not only do we want sponsors but we’re looking for volunteers.

Daniel Dragon: Correct.

Captain Brien: So after this post, when I put it up, you’ll be able to comment below and put the link on it where they can find you.

Daniel Dragon: Yes.

Captain Brien: And they can also, if they have questions, they can DM me and I can put them in touch with you. So you’re all hooked up, that’s great.

Daniel Dragon: As a thank you for all the volunteers that will come in, most locations, we’ve already figured out how to provide free parking.

Captain Brien: Okay.

Daniel Dragon: ‘Cause at the beach sometimes.

Captain Brien: Yeah absolutely.

Daniel Dragon: It’s problematic.

Captain Brien: Wait, how’d you do that? ‘Cause I wanna do that for my next event.

Daniel Dragon: Okay.

Captain Brien: My next event is just me going to the beach. So how do I do that?

Daniel Dragon: Well right now, I’ll tell you.

Captain Brien: What’s the secret?

Daniel Dragon: Big shout out to Lani Kai from Fort Meyers Beach, they provide some free parking spots.

Captain Brien: Yup.

Daniel Dragon: Right across the street there’s Norm’s Parking and right next to Lonnie Kai, Dave’s parking. They also provided.

Captain Brien: Dave’s parking?

Daniel Dragon: Yeah, I think it’s called Dave’s Sunset something.

Captain Brien: Is that Dave or Wave?

Daniel Dragon: Dave.

Captain Brien: Okay, I wasn’t sure.

Daniel Dragon: It’s the accent.

Captain Brien: It is, it’s definitely the accent, but it’s sexy. Don’t get me wrong, I mean that’s a chick magnet, right?

Daniel Dragon: Well it worked, I’m married.

Captain Brien: There you go, you got a real magnet. You got magnet, lock and key, all from the accent.

Daniel Dragon: Many other locations have provided or offered to provide free parking, all they want to identify the people that show up as volunteers to have this flyer printed and put it on the dashboard.

Captain Brien: Yep.

Daniel Dragon: And I’m gonna link this. it’s already linked on the event page.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Daniel Dragon: On Facebook.

Captain Brien: We can post it, you can also just post that in the comments as an image.

Daniel Dragon: Yep.

Captain Brien: And then they can click on it and print it out.

Daniel Dragon: So with that, most locations will allow for free parking.

Captain Brien: So how many people do you have signed up so far? How many do you need?

Daniel Dragon: So far, we have 150 signed up.

Captain Brien: 150!

Daniel Dragon: However,

Captain Brien: That’s impressive!

Daniel Dragon:They’re interested but not everyone said they’re going.

Captain Brien: Yeah, how many are going? They better be going, everyone’s interested.

Daniel Dragon: 50 said they’re going.

Captain Brien: That’s great.

Daniel Dragon: We need more than 50.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Daniel Dragon: And we hope to turn those interested in going.

Captain Brien: Absolutely.

Daniel Dragon: It’s gonna be fun, it’s a good cause and might as well make it a beach day.

Captain Brien: What’s the temperature gonna be?

Daniel Dragon: I saw it’s gonna be about 81.

Captain Brien: Ah so you can wear your bikini and get a tan.

Daniel Dragon: So that’s the high on Saturday.

Captain Brien: Yeah and it’s beautiful.

Daniel Dragon: Much better than today.

Captain Brien: Today is a little chilly.

Daniel Dragon: Yeah, we’re excited, let me see if I forget something.

Captain Brien: What’s the website so the people know where to find you.

Daniel Dragon: It’s easy, it’s cleanourworld.org.

Captain Brien: It’s a good website.

Daniel Dragon: Yep.

Captain Brien: That’s a good website.

Daniel Dragon: So.

Captain Brien: Good domain name.

Daniel Dragon: Yeah I dabble a little bit in marketing.

Captain Brien: Okay, okay, what’s your full time business?

Daniel Dragon: I’m an insurance guy. I provide low cost insurance for the rest of us.

Captain Brien: For healthcare or?

Daniel Dragon: All types of insurance, like people insurance. Not objects, so I don’t insure cars or homes.

Captain Brien: Okay.

Daniel Dragon: It’s life, health, disability, cancer insurance.

Captain Brien: Oh great.

Daniel Dragon: Medicare and a few others.

Captain Brien: You’re in the right area.

Daniel Dragon: Yeah and it’s been doing great and now with some free time on my hands I’d like to help the environment.

Captain Brien: So somebody is doing all the paperwork now for the 501C3?

Daniel Dragon: Correct.

Captain Brien: Are you doing that yourself or do you need somebody? ‘Cause I have somebody who does that and they really streamline it for you.

Daniel Dragon: I’ll take any help I can get.

Captain Brien: Okay, I have to figure out where in my contacts they are but I know I have somebody that does that.

Daniel Dragon: That’s awesome.

Captain Brien: And they were very good, I did it to 501C3 and it worked out well.

Daniel Dragon: Introduce me.

Captain Brien: Yeah yeah they were good, they walked me right through it. ‘Cause it’s a lot of red tape, right?

Daniel Dragon: Yeah.

Captain Brien: It’s hard.

Daniel Dragon: Yes.

Captain Brien: Some organizations spend all of their money tryin’ to become a 501C3 and they never even make it.

Daniel Dragon: Tryin’ to navigate through that right now. And it’s you know, we’re getting some head way. But we still some bumps in the road.

Captain Brien: Alright, great, well anything else you wanna tell our viewers before we call it a day here on the Captain’s Log.

Daniel Dragon: Yeah, just, I invite everyone just bring your friends, bring your coworkers.

Captain Brien: They can bring their friends and their coworkers.

Daniel Dragon: And their friends and–

Captain Brien: Bring your wives, bring your girlfriends, who else?

Daniel Dragon: And their grandmas.

Captain Brien: And their grandmas, anybody who can walk and clean.

Daniel Dragon: Whoever cannot lean down to pick up, we have these.

Captain Brien: Yes. We have it all. Well no, I appreciate your time Daniel, and Dragon. That’s not a great last name, huh, no one loves that one. Daniel Dragon is my guest on the Caption’s Log

Daniel Dragon: Thank you.

Captain Brien: We had a good time today, we talked about all your positive vibes going down the beach, cleaning ’em up. And I wish you luck man, I really hope, we’re gonna push this out there and make sure that everyone comes out on Saturday, let’s shoot for 150 people.

Daniel Dragon: Awesome.

Captain Brien: Alright buddy, thanks man.

Daniel Dragon: Thank you so much.

Captain Brien: Appreciate you joining me on the Captain’s Blog. Hey guys, don’t forget to like and share the podcast. We’re on every week, this is season two 2019. And we’re gonna turn it up this year, be good. I’ll talk to you soon, see you tomorrow. By the way tomorrow, Vickie Barballo, oh my goodness. That’s a great show, don’t miss it.

Episode 205 The Captain’s Log with Comedian Joe List and Captain Brien!

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Come join Captain Brien and Joe List on this super funny adventure!

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!

Check Joe List out and send him some love at:

PODCAST RECAP

Miss something on one of our episodes of the #naplescaptainslog? Don’t worry we got you covered! Here you will find a full transcript from this episode of the #naplescaptainslog!

Captain Brien: What’s goin’ on? This is the Captains Log. Comedian Joe List, what’s up buddy?

Joe List: Not too much.

Captain Brien: This is your first appearance.

Joe List: I know, this is terrifying. By the way, this is like a great camera shot. You were pulling back, so like, it’s like the background is changing.

Joe List: Happy to be here. This is exciting.

Captain Brien: Thanks man.

Joe List: I’ve never done anything in a car before, other than sex, yeah.

Captain Brien: This is your first? A lot of sex in the car?

Joe List: Uh, I wouldn’t say a lot, but you know, twice–

Captain Brien: You keep it real.

Joe List: Yeah, my aunt was a spicy lady.

Captain Brien: Oh, not in the marriage though, I bet. That’s probably not car sex material.

Joe List: No, we don’t even have a car,

Joe List: so we’d have to rent a car.

Captain Brien: Or sex.

Joe List: Yeah, I’d have to rent the sex also.

Joe List: Alright, I’m tryin’ to find myself.

Captain Brien: You’re gonna pop up here in a minute so you can share it. We’re live with Joe List, he’s gonna be at Off The Hook, go ahead, he’s probably live now, and it’s gonna be all weekend. Thursday, which is tonight, there’s gonna be a show at seven, and seven to nine all weekend, all the way through Sunday.

Joe List: I can’t wait.

Captain Brien: It’s gonna be a good time, and this is your second time here, but, my goodness, you were a rookie when you came last.

Joe List: Yeah, well, I mean I was a veteran, but it feels, I’ve been doing comedy so long. I started in comedy when I was nine years old. I’m 30 years in here.

Captain Brien: What were you telling, Jack and Jill jokes?

Joe List: Yeah, that was

Joe List: It was Jack and Jill have sex in a car. Yeah, I was here in Summer, maybe May of ’09.

Captain Brien: Yeah

Joe List: I was opening for Nick Di Paolo, and that was when the club was in Marco Island, or on Marco Island, whatever you say.

Captain Brien: Right.

Joe List: And we stayed at like a resort. I dunno if you remember.

Captain Brien: You did.

Joe List: You put us in this crazy resort.

Captain Brien: It was a good deal.

Joe List: It was unbelievable, I mean, for me–

Captain Brien: You should have paid me for that.

Joe List: It was pretty unbelievable.

Joe List: It was like the nicest place. I still have photos somewhere, on Facebook I think.

Captain Brien: They’ve actually redid that resort, and they spend like 100 million dollars to make it even better.

Joe List: Oh wow.

Captain Brien: It’s crazy, I know. Now it’s a JW Marriott. Before it was the Marco Island Marriott, and they say it’s one of the busiest Marriott’s in the world. They stay like, 99% occupied, year round.

Joe List: No shit.

Captain Brien: And enough about them, ’cause they don’t, they don’t sponsor this show.

Joe List: Yeah

Captain Brien: The hell with them.

Joe List: No, I hope they all die.

Captain Brien: Yeah, right, exactly.

Joe List: I shouldn’t say that. This is going out live. I can’t even edit this.

Captain Brien: We are live. You can’t.

Joe List: Oh geez.

Joe List: I don’t hope anyone dies. I want everyone to be great and fine.

Captain Brien: Did you get to share it?

Joe List: I did, I’m shared.

Captain Brien: You are shared

Joe List: So what does that mean? I don’t even know what that means.

Captain Brien: That means that your people right now, if they’re on there watching, which they will be, and maybe they’re, you know, scrolling through, they can say hi. If you guys are watching, tell us hello, what city you’re in. I’ll even give you tickets to tonight’s show. Can I give ’em some tickets?

Joe List: Yeah, please. This is gonna be depressing though if no one writes,

Joe List: “Hey, I’m a fan of Joe.”

Captain Brien: Hey, stay tuned. You never know, I mean, they could be watching on their phone at work, and they don’t wanna get busted.

Joe List: I hope so, yeah.

Captain Brien: They just sneak peeks. But yeah, I mean like, 180 thousand people a week watch.

Captain Brien: Wow. Between all the shows, I’m on every day.

Joe List: 180 thousand.

Captain Brien: Yeah, so that’s good.

Joe List: Yeah, that’s great.

Captain Brien: It’s been steady, so we’re havin’ fun.

Joe List: I’m happy to be here. I hope I get those kinda numbers.

Captain Brien: You brought your wife.

Joe List: I did, my wife is here. Come on out Sarah.

Captain Brien: No, she’s not here now.

Joe List: No, she’s at home, sleeping. She’s in the hotel sleeping.

Captain Brien: Do you have any kids?

Joe List: She came along. No kids.

Captain Brien: No kids?

Joe List: Sex, no kids. Oh my god.

Captain Brien: Wow, that guy just blew his airhorn.

Joe List: Yeah.

Captain Brien: Ace is the place, the helpful place, and apparently he’s helping that guy put his car in gear.

Joe List: Yeah, look up from his texts. But yeah, my wife is here. She’s in bed right now, but she’s hilarious. I don’t think she’s ever been here either, to Naples.

Captain Brien: No? This is her first?

Joe List: First time, yeah. We do Key West every year, but this is our first time–

Captain Brien: So, there is a club down in Key West, right?

Joe List: It’s not a club, uh, I guess it’s a club. My friend would be mad if he heard me say that. It’s a bar, show, but they’re kinda makin’ it a club.,

Captain Brien: Yeah, but it’s only been-a goin’ for a couple of years, right?

Joe List: Yeah, a little bit.

Captain Brien: ‘Cause they actually contacted me and I said I wasn’t gonna do it.

Joe List: Oh, really?

Captain Brien: It was too much for me.

Joe List: Yeah, it’s a lot, I mean it’s a strange place, and it’s hard to get to. It’s a weird island, but it’s a fun place. You can walk around naked, they have a–

Captain Brien: Yeah, like the Garden of Eden. Did you go up there?

Joe List: Garden of Eden? I’ve been there a few times. Well last time–

Captain Brien: Did you pull out the whole junk?

Joe List: When I went years ago, in my drinking day, I don’t drink anymore. I’m old and I’m gay now, but uh–

Captain Brien: Do you know Gary da Silva? He’s in Billerica, Mas.

Joe List: I know Gary da Silva!

Captain Brien: What’s up buddy!

Joe List: Gary’s a firefighter. I’ve known Gary for 20 years. More than 20 years.

Captain Brien: Well we’re giving you a little shout out right there. Put out all those good fires and be safe Gary.

Joe List: Yeah, Gary, come down to Naples, right now, immediately. We got a show tonight.

Captain Brien: Yeah, support the show. Buy a ticket, he said.

Joe List: Hope that’s the right Gary though. Be bad if it was–

Captain Brien: Nah, Gary de Silva, it’s your boy.

Joe List: Yeah, that is my boy.

Captain Brien: He loves you.

Joe List: That’s nice. That’s who I get. I don’t get fans, I just get people I grew up with.

Joe List: But anyway, I don’t even know what I was sayin’ now.

Captain Brien:- Me neither. Do you have ADD? ‘Cause I do.

Joe List: Well I think we all do now with the phones. Forget  about it.

Captain Brien: Is it the phone keepin’ you busy?

Joe List: It’s all I do. I just look at the phone and that’s it.

Captain Brien: And you forget it, like what’s goin’ on.

Joe List: A lot of times. I’ve gotten better, but I think I’m better than most. When I’m with people, I’m great. When I’m by myself on the road, I do a lot of looking at the phone. It’s the situation.

Captain Brien: I do too, and when I look at the phone though, sometimes I can’t hear anybody else, just the phone.

Joe List: Oh yeah, totally. You’re immersed.

Captain Brien: Right?

Joe List: Against the whole world. Part of me, some of it’s great. You can learn, like a lot of times I’m not just looking, scrolling through social media, I’m reading shit.

Captain Brien: I do the same thing. I hate reading novels, but I’m definitely learning like, what’s going on in the world or what’s trending.

Joe List: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Captain Brien: What’s trending on Instagram.

Joe List: Yeah, you’re obviously very savvy.

Captain Brien: That’s very important!

Joe List: That’s important stuff. No, I do well, I’ll read. But this is what I do now. Now I’ll watch a movie and like, three minutes in, I’m like, “I’m gonna look up the director. “I’m gonna find out where the director grew up.”, and then I’m like, I can’t even watch the movie. I keep pausing, I’m like, “Let me see “if she’s ever been naked in anything.”

Captain Brien: What about the documentaries? Those kill me, ’cause I’m like, “Now I gotta Google what’s going on “with this guy’s life before it ends.”

Joe List: Right, right.

Captain Brien: And I’m the middle, I’m like, “Ah, I already know this guy’s made it “or it’s a bust.”

Joe List: Right. By the way, this guy just wrote in that I was saying I’m old and gay. Now I remember it. We were talking about Key West. About goin’ to Garden of Eden, and I used to get naked there, but now, in sobriety and older age, I don’t get so naked.

Captain Brien: And you can’t bring out your phone at the Garden of Eden, right? They don’t let you.

Joe List: Yeah, not allowed to.

Captain Brien: Right away, they get on top of you for that. It’s frowned upon.

Joe List: When I first went there, I was like so excited, ’cause I was 23 or 24, and I was like, “I’m gonna go see some naked people.” But the people that get naked at Garden of Eden, are 125 years old.

Captain Brien: It’s not the same. It’s not the same caliber.

Joe List: Yeah, not like beautiful women walkin’ around topless. You’re gonna see an old pud.

Captain Brien: Now there is some naked resorts across the world, like in Ibiza and stuff where there’s some very attractive naked people, but the Garden of Eden seems to attract not the finest, not 10’s.

Joe List: Yeah, no.

Captain Brien: There could be some good sevens.

Joe List: It’s not a hot spot. I think maybe you get a visitor or something like that, but I think it’s also, ends up being mostly dudes that think they’re gonna go see a hot woman.

Captain Brien: A bunch of naked chicks.

Joe List: So you’ve got like 11 naked guys and a few people in their pants, goin’ “This sucks.”

Captain Brien: Right.

Joe List: I feel like I’m–

Captain Brien: I never did that. I never went to the Garden of Eden, but I know it well, ’cause I’ve been to Key West, and who doesn’t hear about the Garden of Eden?

Joe List: It’s pretty cool.

Captain Brien: It is?

Joe List: I spent some time in Key West, and I didn’t, I do now, I go there every year to do the show, but when I was young, my friend Tom Dustin who runs the show, we went down there and had a wild time, and we got robbed by two women in Miami the day before we went.

Captain Brien: Get outta here.

Joe List: We lost all our cash. Yeah, I had a $1,000 in cash taken from me.

Captain Brien: No, a lady robbed you?

Joe List: Yeah, well what happened was, I guess they were kinda like, ladies of the night. I thought I was just killin’ it.

Captain Brien: Yeah, you thought you were hookin’ up with these chicks.

Joe List: Yes, exactly. So we were walkin’ around drunk.

Captain Brien: I gotta hear this.

Joe List: And I was the only guy, I’m wearing like, jeans and sneakers, and I’m wearing like, New Balance sneakers walkin’ up South Beach in Miami, which is like, the hippest place on earth.

Captain Brien: Yeah, and you looked like an easy target, ’cause they’re like, “These guys are on vacation.”

Joe List: Yeah, I looked like a goof. I had like, you know, wired glasses and jeans from Sears, everything, all Sears, head to toe.

Captain Brien: What year was this?

Joe List: This was ’06.

Captain Brien: Okay.

Joe List: So I was 24, and this woman walked up to me and she was hammerin’. She was like, “Hey baby, you wanna party?” And I was like, “Yeah, yeah, let’s rip it. “I just got here. I’m from Boston. “Lets have some fun.” She was like, “Well where are you stayin’?” I was like, “I’m stayin’ right over here.” And it was two women. They were kinda heavy, but I was, you know–

Captain Brien: Yeah, you can’t ask for the best on the road. You take what you get.

Joe List: Yeah, I was into it, and they came up to me. I mean they sparked it, so I was like, “Yeah, let’s go to my room.” And then I was like, “I gotta find my buddy Tom.” And they were like, “No, no, he’s with our friend.” So I just thought these three random women just started grabbin’ us, and I find out later

Captain Brien: You thought you were hot shit. Like, I am freakin’ handsome in South Beach.

Joe List: Yeah, so they walked me, I mean again, these were not attractive women, but they were very nice. They were like, they took me by the arm, you know, I was elbow and elbow, I had a girl on each side, which is a dream.

Captain Brien: Sure.

Joe List: Went back to the hotel, and then one of them started, she– We can be dirty on here, right?

Captain Brien: Yeah, to a point, sure.

Joe List: Okay.

Captain Brien: Kinda censor it.

Joe List: I don’t wanna get too crazy but she took her bosoms out.

Captain Brien: Yes, she took out her boobies.

Joe List: Yeah, and she was pressing them on my face and kinda doin’ one of these things, and then the other girl, I was like “Where are you at? What goin’ on here?” And she was kinda touchin’ my genital area over the pants, and I was like “This is amazing, what a wild, “I’m havin’ a threesome in Key West, “I mean in Miami, I just got here an hour ago.”, and then all of a sudden, she was like, “You know what? We’re gonna get outta here.”

Joe List: And I was like, “What? I’m not even naked yet. “What’re you talkin’ about?” And they were like, “We gotta go. “It was great to meet ya’.” And then they just took off, and I was so drunk that I was like, “Boy, that was weird.” I was like, “Maybe I said somethin’.” And then I looked over. I could see the zipper of my bag was open, and I had all cash. I didn’t have an ATM card at the time.

Captain Brien: How did they know to go right to the bag? Were you like, “Yo, I got bags!”

Joe List: No, I think she was just rifling through the bag.

Captain Brien: While the other one was smothering you with the breasts.

Joe List: Yeah, exactly.

Captain Brien: So you were breast smothered. That was like, her Bird Box. She Bird Boxed you.

Joe List: Yes, exactly. Classic move, a breast smother.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Joe List: ‘Cause you can get away with anything if you can smother someone’s face

Captain Brien: Absolutely.

Joe List: with a breast.

Captain Brien: No doubt.

Joe List: So, she did that, and then the other one I think had like, one hand, she was kinda touchin’ me so I knew she was there, and then with the other hand was goin’ through my bag, and again, I’m like, extremely inebriated.

Captain Brien: How did they know to go through the bag and not your pockets? They’re good.

Joe List: They might have gone through the pockets also. I dunno.

Captain Brien: It was probably an hour. It was an hour of breast smuggling.

Joe List: They probably were like, “This guy “doesn’t have an ATM card. This guy’s a loser.” I don’t know, but they went through and I just had cash, and my mother, before I left was like, “You shouldn’t carry cash like that.”

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Joe List: But I just didn’t have a bank card. I just had cash, so I lost 1,000, and then my friend showed up. Oh, that’s what I forgot to say. So in the middle of it, my buddy Tom showed up, and I was like “Dude, look at this! “This is crazy!” ‘Cause I didn’t realized I’d been robbed yet, and he was like, “I just got robbed.” He’s like, “I lost $500.”

Captain Brien: Get out! They had already hit him up?

Joe List: Yeah, yeah.

Captain Brien: So they literally told you, “Oh, my other friend is taking care of your buddy.”

Joe List: Yes, so it turned out he was receiving a style of sex, you know, and they were goin’ through his pockets while doing that, so he at least received like, some more sexual– It was a little more advanced, sexually than I got. I just got a boobie smother.

Captain Brien: Yeah, and you were excited about that.

Joe List: I was thrilled with that. I mean at the time, I wasn’t exactly crushing it, nor am I now, by the way.

Captain Brien: When you’re married.

Joe List: I mean I have a beautiful wife. So anyways, that was that, and then, so it was day one of like a seven day vacation, and we lost 100% of our money. I had to call my mother. My aunt wired us some money.

Captain Brien: Oh my god.

Joe List: And I had to pay her back.

Captain Brien: That’s like the thing where you get the call and it’s fake, right? “Hey, I’m on vacation, I lost all my money. “Can you wire me money?”

Joe List: Yeah, it seemed like a joke, and like the day before, she was like, “This is a bad idea.”, and I was like, “Yep, we got robbed.” I mean, day one, but the nice thing was, we went down to Key West, and we started telling everyone the story. It’s a great atmosphere down there, and people would buy us drinks and stuff. People were like, “Oh, that’s terrible. “Let me get you a beer.”

Joe List: And we kinda milked it, quite a bit. We got a lot of free booze, and we would just tell the story together, and people loved it. We were a big hit down there.

Captain Brien: I bet.

Joe List: But yeah, it was great, but for years I’m finally doing well enough that I don’t add that $1,000 to my account when I look at my money.

Captain Brien: Right.

Joe List: For years, every time I looked at my statement I’d be like, “There should be $1,000 more!”

Captain Brien: “Ah, wish I had that grand.” Yeah.

Joe List: But I also gave this great big broody speech, where I was like, “You know what, who gives a shit? “If they need to take our money, “let ’em take our money.”

Captain Brien: Right.

Joe List: “We’re not gonna let this die.” It was like this big like,

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Joe List: rah, rah speech.

Captain Brien: Yeah, you felt, you were feelin’ it right from the heart, and the wallet.

Joe List: Yeah, exactly, we had to keep it goin’. We ended up havin’ like, the time of our lives. I got great photos of all of it.

Captain Brien: So, my buddy owns Irish Kevin’s. Did you get to go to Irish Kevin’s?

Joe List: Yeah, I’ve been to Irish Kevin’.

Captain Brien: Yeah, that’s Irish Kevin, that’s my buddy.

Joe List: No kidding.

Captain Brien: So he’s a good time. That’s how, he’s the one that contacted me and said, “My friend’s opening up a bar and gonna do comedy there. “I want you to book it.”, and then I was like, “I can’t”.

Joe List: Oh wow, okay.

Captain Brien: So that’s how I was like, contacted. Wow, that guy just threw the thing right there.

Joe List: Yeah, I think he just dumped a bottle of urine out the window, which is fine, you know.

Captain Brien: So tell me, you grew up in Boston.

Joe List: Yeah, well Massachusetts, South Shore. I grew up in Whitman, Massachusetts.

Captain Brien: Okay, and I grew up in Wakefield.

Joe List: Yeah, which is, I feel like similar towns but flipped.

Captain Brien: Right. The opposites.

Joe List: One’s North, one’s South, which by the way, we call it Massachusetts, I never thought this was weird. We always say South Shore, the South Shore plaza, but it’s not the shore. I grew up like 35 minutes from the beach. Like the South Shore plaza–

Captain Brien: Yeah, we say North Shore.

Joe List: Yeah, as in Braintree, but it’s like, we’re not on the water.

Captain Brien: Right, we’re not on the shore, like shipwrecked.

Joe List: Yeah, people would come visit or whatever and see where I grew up, and they’re like, “So where’s the beach?” and I’m like, “The beach?”

Joe List: And I’m like, “The beach is like, 40 minutes away.”

Captain Brien: So do you have the roast beef sandwiches, like Bill & Bob’s, is that a thing on the South Shore? I know it’s huge on the North Shore.

Joe List: No, well there’s Mike’s Roast Beef was a big place. I moved to Everett for a couple of years for comedy.

Captain Brien: So in Everett, so you had like–

Joe List: There was Kelley’s was not far, and then Mike’s Roast Beef, which is still there. I still go up there.

Captain Brien: It’s delicious, right?

Joe List: Yeah.

Captain Brien: There’s nothing like that around here.

Joe List: No, it was amazing. I mean someone should come down here and do a roast beef place.

Captain Brien: I did.

Joe List: You made a roast beef place?

Captain Brien: Yeah, I did, in 2005. Captain Brian’s Seafood and Roast Beef, and I did the exact thing.

Joe List: And it didn’t–

Captain Brien: It did really well.

Joe List: Oh, okay.

Captain Brien: It turned into Captain Brian’s, then it turned into Off The Hook Comedy Club.

Joe List: Oh wow, okay.

Captain Brien: But that’s how I started, and Bill and Bob, the owner came down, he says, “I heard you’re the Bill and Bob’s “from down south. “I’m gonna see your roast beef.” and he cooked roast beef in my kitchen.

Joe List: No shit.

Captain Brien: And he taught me, like, the secrets.

Joe List: Wow.

Captain Brien: The real friggin’ thing.

Joe List: Oh, I thought I had that million dollar idea by the way, but you already done it.

Captain Brien: Yeah, I did it. I did it, I did a lot. Some worked, some didn’t.

Joe List: That’s the way it goes.

Captain Brien: That’s how you roll.

Joe List: It’s like jokes.

Captain Brien: You gotta test out the waters.

Joe List: Yeah, exactly.

Captain Brien: Randy wants me to say, “I wanna hear a chicken finger.” I like to say chicken fingers. Do you say chicken finger, or chicken finger?

Joe List: Well, I’m hangin’ out with you, so I’ll start soundin’ like that again. Like when I go home to hang out with my family, I’ll start sounding a little more like a Kennedy. To me, when I was drinking, or if I’d get really angry my accent will come out a little bit.

Captain Brien: My parents have lived down here for 22 years and so have I, but my accent’s mostly gone I think.

Joe List: Right.

Captain Brien: Or is it bad?

Joe List: I don’t think it’s bad at all.

Joe List: I noticed it a little bit.

Captain Brien: My parents sound like they literally have never left.

Joe List: Right, right.

Captain Brien: I’m like, how do you still talk like that?

Joe List: Yeah.

Captain Brien: Nobody else is doing that.

Joe List: It’s interesting, because it’s just so ingrained. It’s just like how you speak I guess, but it’s weird because when I was a kid, I got made fun of ’cause I would say bathroom, and like everyone made fun of me. They were like, “What are you, an English piece of shit.”, whatever, and then I was like, “Oh, alright.”, so I stopped saying bathroom consciously, and then like, Good Will Hunting came out, and it became like, the coolest thing to sound like that,

Captain Brien: Yeah, Boston.

Joe List: so all of a sudden, like I had this accent and people would make fun of me, and I was like, “Oh god, I guess I’m a nerd. “I sound like I’m British.” So I’d change the way I talk, and then Good Will Hunting came out and all of a sudden like everyone in my class was like, “Joe, you’re wicked crazy.”, and I was like, “You didn’t sounds like that two days ago.”

Captain Brien: Like, wicked, I didn’t realize wicked wasn’t a thing.

Joe List: I didn’t either. It’s amazing how many things you realize, like Patriot’s Day is not a holiday anymore.

Captain Brien: Correct. What is Patriot’s Day?

Joe List: Yeah, I thought, that was mind blowing to me, ’cause I still to go up there every year for Patriot’s Day.

Captain Brien: And Columbus day is like, I think that people don’t get it unless you’re up there. What do you think?

Joe List: Columbus Day?

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Joe List: That’s a national holiday, isn’t it?

Captain Brien: Yeah, it seems like it, right? And they wanna tell you about Plymouth Rock.

Joe List: Right, Plymouth Rock they love, and that’s so fascinating, but Columbus didn’t land on Plymouth Rock.

Captain Brien: No, who did?

Joe List: The Pilgrims.

Captain Brien: The Pilgrims. So that’s why we get Patriot’s Day, or no?

Joe List: No, Patriot’s Day is about I think Battle of Bunker Hill?

Captain Brien: Oh! That’s what it–

Joe List: No wait, that’s Bunker Hill Day. Patriot’s Day is, I dunno.

Captain Brien: The Bunker Hill Monument.

Joe List: Some sort of revolution. But that’s not actually on Bunker Hill. That’s actually Breed’s Hill, and Bunker Hill is in like, Somerville.

Captain Brien: This is true. This is true.

Joe List: That’s some fun trivia.

Captain Brien: That is a good little knack that you’ve acquired along the way.

Joe List: Yeah, a little Boston trivia. By the way, are we going somewhere? I feel like you’re just flipping around. I dunno

Captain Brien: I can’t turn in this.

Joe List: what the hell’s going on.

Captain Brien: You can’t turn in there.

Captain Brien: I just drive and drive until the conversation gets dead, and once the conversation dies, I pull in.

Joe List: Every once and a while I look over, I’m like, “Where the hell are we?”

Captain Brien: There’s no turn in. There’s no access to get in here, so you gotta go down, turn, right, left, and pull in.

Joe List: Gotcha. Well Patriot’s Day is a holiday in Boston. I still go every year, ’cause the Red Sox play at 11:05am, and the marathon’s going on. I go every year.

Captain Brien: Which is the best. That’s a huge day in Boston.

Joe List: It’s the best.

Captain Brien: Right?

Joe List: You go to the game, then you spill out. Time to watch all the, you know, the not elite runners.

Captain Brien: I go to Pizzeria Regina, I get some pizza on the way in.

Joe List: Yeah, you can do that.

Captain Brien: I love it.

Joe List: We live it up, I mean, I love it, I go every, this past year the game got rained out, which was frustrating. I was there for the bombing, which was, that’s not a fun thing to bring up on a comedy show.

Captain Brien: No. But it’s very interesting. And then did you see the movie?

Joe List: I did not see the movie.

Captain Brien: You didn’t?

Joe List: No. I saw the real life thing.

Captain Brien: I know.

Joe List: No, I did not see the movie. I should see the movie.

Captain Brien: The movie’s great.

Joe List: I’m sure it was enjoyable.

Captain Brien: It’s really interesting.

Joe List: Yeah. That was a fascinating time.

Captain Brien: Unbelievable. Well anyway, guys, this is the Captain’s Log. Joe List. Go see him at Off The Hook Comedy Club tonight through Sunday, tellin’ the ha-ha’s, all the jokes, you’re gonna love him. You’ve seen him on Netflix, now you’ve seen him on a Captain’s Log. Joe, thanks buddy

Joe List: Thanks for havin’ me.

Captain Brien: Let’s go, we’re goin’ on

Joe List: I appreciate it.

Captain Brien: a radio station now. 103.9, then 96k-Rock. We just finished 105.5 The Beat. We’re out, and the Captain’s Log will be live tomorrow. Two episodes, so I know you’re just so excited. Seeya.

Episode 204 The Captain’s Log with Eric Myers and Captain Brien!!

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Comedian Eric Myers joins us as we talk about Eric’s Uber driver job and code brown at Walmart😂!

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!

Check Erik Myers out and show him some love at:

PODCAST RECAP

Miss something on one of our episodes of the #naplescaptainslog? Don’t worry we got you covered! Here you will find a full transcript from this episode of the #naplescaptainslog!

Captain Brien: We’re back on the Captain’s Log. Erik Myers, what’s up buddy?

Erik Myers: What’s up peanuts?

Captain Brien: What are you doing?

Erik Myers: I’m sittin’ here havin’ a good time.

Captain Brien: I’m gonna put on my shades cause you’re too cool.

Erik Myers: I don’t know about that. I am pretty cool. I got my new leather jacket from Forever Twenty Ones, 39.99.

Captain Brien: That’s our new intern right there

Erik Myers: Who?

Captain Brien: Right there, Kendall.

Erik Myers: Hi, Kendall.

Kendall: Hi Erik.

Erik Myers: Kendall’s a rapper and she’s gonna rap for us.

Erik Myers: Go Kendall.

Captain Brien: I did hear her telling us how talented of a rapper she was.

Erik Myers: She said she was the next Biggie Smalls. That’s exactly to quote.

Captain Brien: So we just finished 105.5, The Beat.

Erik Myers: We did finish it.

Captain Brien: And, Erik, you’re performing at Off the Hook Comedy Club, tonight.

Erik Myers: No.

Captain Brien: Wednesday, yes.

Erik Myers: What?

Captain Brien: Yes.

Erik Myers: What? No.

Captain Brien: Seven o’clock show.

Erik Myers: No, I canceled that.

Captain Brien: And I’m gonna give you

Erik Myers: I have a hair appointment. I’m washing my hair. Look at it.

Captain Brien: Giving away free tickets now. Stop, you’re interrupting. It’s my god damn show.

Erik Myers: You shut up!

Captain Brien: Erik Myers tonight at 7:00.

Erik Myers: 7:00.

Captain Brien: Off the Hook Comedy Club. E-M-F, Erik Myers Free. E-M-F at offthehookcomedy.com. Use that promo code and you can get free tickets.

Erik Myers: Free.

Captain Brien: To see Erik tonight. The first 20 people, after that you gotta pay.

Erik Myers: 20 of you are lucky. The rest a you is screwed.

Captain Brien: Yes.

Erik Myers: You have to big money to see me.

Captain Brien: I’m just gonna make my way up here because if I sit here to long that’s right when the sun is right in my face.

Erik Myers: Brien I’m practically blind I don’t even have sunglasses. You and Kendall have sunglasses and I got nothing. I’m gonna put my little visor down.

Captain Brien: Look at this visor down.

Erik Myers: It didn’t do nothin’.

Captain Brien: Well your face is really small it’s like little.

Erik Myers: I gotta little tiny peanut face. Brien why do 20 people get to see me for free tonight at seven Off the Hook Comedy Club.

Captain Brien: Offthehookcomedy.com

Erik Myers: Offthehookcomedy.com thank you, code E-M-F.

Captain Brien: It’s a good thing you’re not my promo guy. My hype man.

Erik Myers: I am your hype man. E-M-F E-M-F. Promo code, seven o’clock!

Captain Brien: Hey Vicki hey Randy what’s goin’ on guys? We’re live on the Caption’s Log and today is Wednesday. This is season two, season one took 13 years to complete.

Erik Myers: I can’t believe you haven’t been canceled yet. What are the ratings of this shit?

Captain Brien: But anyway go, when you’re on the damn podcast I know you guys are, you can like it and share it, and also give us a rating on iTunes or Stitch or Sound Cloud wherever you’re watching from. Or if you’re watching on Facebook just say hello when you tune in. Tell us what city you’re watching from. ‘Cause I wanna know where you guys are today and–

Erik Myers: When wanna know where you are.

Captain Brien: And not to rub it in but it is 70 degrees sunny and we’re in Fort Myers and it’s beautiful and I’m sure where you guys are watching it’s either here or somewhere where it’s cold as hell. So tell us where that is right.

Erik Myers: It’s cold everywhere else probably.

Captain Brien: Kendall this is your first appearance on the Captain’s Log, how do you feel?

Kendall: Very honored.

Captain Brien: You are right?

Kendall: Super nervous.

Captain Brien: Oh my God it’s so scary.

Kendall: Okay very scary.

Erik Myers: Oh it’s Kobe.

Captain Brien: So Erik what’s the plan while you’re in town buddy?

Erik Myers: Brien I’m gonna do a bunch a heroin and go to Walmart.

Captain Brien: Excellent thank you, I appreciate the–

Erik Myers: They can’t ban me forever.

Captain Brien: This is a family show so that’s good.

Erik Myers: What, I bring my family.

Captain Brien: Yeah you do.

Erik Myers: Yeah I bring them to the Walmart and we all shoplift it’s a group effort. I got 100 pairs of socks last time.

Captain Brien: So I had the visor up and it was perfect right exactly in the middle of our camera shot which was good that was good.

Erik Myers: Oh you got me from all angles.

Captain Brien: I do.

Erik Myers: We need like a crotch cam to get the full effect.

Captain Brien: Yeah a lot of hair on that one.

Erik Myers: Okay.

Captain Brien: Biggs is watching we’re going–

Erik Myers: Big mama sent us a message.

Captain Brien: Yeah we’re headin’ over to 103 now we’re on the way to see Babs and Biggs and Mel–

Erik Myers: Yay!

Captain Brien: And you’re gonna tear it up right?

Erik Myers: I’m sure as heck gonna try.

Captain Brien: I believe it.

Erik Myers: I’m gonna do this, I just started Uber driving and I wanna do like have a camera in it, almost like Cash Cab but like record people be messing with them but I don’t know would they have to sign like a release? First of all I was picking up these college kids the other day in my Uber. I’m a 30 year old Uber driver and these kids in the backseat so I’m like what’s your major? And he’s like English. And I’m like that was my major. And he just started crying. He’s like–

Captain Brien: And then did you open the door and let him out?

Erik Myers: He jumped out and I was going 50 miles an hour.

Captain Brien: What’s your rating by the way? Your big joke is that you get to rate and they get to rate you. What’s your rating as a driver?

Erik Myers: I’m rated X.

Captain Brien: No c’mon!

Erik Myers: ‘Cause I’m driving buck naked.

Captain Brien: What’s your rating?

Erik Myers: My bare ass is pressed on the seats for all to see. I am rated 4.92.

Captain Brien: 4.92.

Erik Myers: My rating went down just because I got a four star rating but I only had 12 rides at that time. Well driving, I did Uber Miami, and it’s like first of all downtown Orlando Miami half the streets are one way streets, half the streets are closed, people drive like they’re crazy. You know in Florida people put on their turn signal people don’t let you over they speed up. They gotta be the first one to the red light or something. Everyone gets so angry in these damn cars they need to relax.

Captain Brien: So why’d someone give you a four star? Did you make the wrong turn?

Erik Myers: Because I um–

Captain Brien: They looked at your driving record? I have to talk about that.

Erik Myers: I was drinking vodka out of a thermos.

Captain Brien: Alright guys the promo code to see Erik is E-M-F because I know there’s some of the people E-M-F you get to see him tonight. Back to the Uber.

Erik Myers: Yes.

Captain Brien: So when you signed up to be a driver they didn’t make you make you submit like your drivers license, they did a background check or anything?

Erik Myers: They did but I have a secret identity.

Captain Brien: So how–

Erik Myers: My name is Nol Galager.

Captain Brien: How the hell did that happen?

Erik Myers: I went there and I said no, I said I have a good driving record.

Captain Brien: Because you haven’t had your license.

Erik Myers: I haven’t had a license so I have nothing. I’m a safe driver.

Captain Brien: You’re a safe driver.

Erik Myers: I’m a safe driver.

Captain Brien: Oh my God.

Erik Myers: I’ve got a good driving record and I’m Ubering.

Captain Brien: I’m not trusting my kids with Uber anymore, not after this.

Erik Myers: What no dude I’m a good Uber driver.

Captain Brien: Thank you Vicki, E-M-F thank you Vicki yes.

Erik Myers: E-M-F Vicki come to my show please we need you.

Captain Brien: Yes I love it.

Erik Myers: I’m doing good Ubers and then–

Captain Brien: And I’ll be live tomorrow with Joe List he’ll be on the Captain’s Log. We’re going press again. We’ll be at gator country 105.5 The Beat, we’ll be on 96k-Rock, we’ll be on 103.9, and that’s tomorrow morning. Kendall are you with us tomorrow morning? Or you have school?

Kendall: I’ve got school.

Captain Brien: Oh my God.

Erik Myers: School!

Captain Brien: What does she need school for?

Erik Myers: School?! You’re rollin’ with the big dog. This guy practically runs Naples.

Captain Brien: You’ve already made it.

Erik Myers: You’ve already made it. This guy if he walks into McDonalds they’ll throw two homeless people out of line to get him an egg mcmuffin I’ve seen it done.

Captain Brien: You wanna know a funny story?

Erik Myers: Yes.

Captain Brien: So I’m with Kevin Hart and I don’t wanna name drop but I’m with Kevin Hart, we go to Cracker Barrel. And the freaking lady at Cracker Barrel by the way just put your feet right on my dash right there–

Erik Myers: I’m sorry.

Captain Brien: Don’t worry about it.

Erik Myers: I’m sorry Brien I’m sorry.

Captain Brien: Don’t worry about my dash nothin’. Your grubby ass sneakers that’s good put ’em right there.

Erik Myers: I’m sorry.

Captain Brien: Make yourself at home.

Erik Myers: I got ArmorAll’s in my car.

Captain Brien: So we walk in to Cracker Barrel and Kevin’s got like four of his homies with him right.

Erik Myers: Okay.

Captain Brien: And the lady’s captain Brien oh my God I love you, what’s going on blah blah blah. And I’m with Kevin Hart and they didn’t even know who he was.

Erik Myers: That’s hilarious.

Captain Brien: And their freakin’ dudes like his whole possy thought it was the best ever. Like the best freaking day of their life they’re like this is the best thing ever.

Erik Myers: He got upstaged by captain–

Captain Brien: Yeah it was so funny.

Erik Myers: Captain B is famous out here man.

Captain Brien: And now I’ll take three zeros off of his paycheck and I’ll still be happy. Just delete three zeros and still make me happy.

Erik Myers: Oh my goodness oh my goodness. You need to add three zeros to my check.

Captain Brien: There’s no zeros on your check just one, just a zero.

Erik Myers: It’s just a zero. They give me a check for zero dollars. I owe them money at the end of the night. Like–

Captain Brien: Depends how much you eat. So no this is a true story.

Erik Myers: I eat a lot of food.

Captain Brien: Another true story. John Pinette spent upwards of $9,000 in the weekend at the hotel in the mini bar and the hotel restaurant and bar.

Erik Myers: $9,000?

Captain Brien: His bill.

Erik Myers: In a week?

Captain Brien: No dude in three days. Yes, yes.

Erik Myers: I don’t even think that’s possible.

Captain Brien: It’s possible because I saw the bill. And I was like oh I don’t pay those bills I only pay taxes and room charge not incidentals. And they’re like oh we’ll charge it to Mr. Pinette’s card thank you.

Erik Myers: $9,000.

Captain Brien: It was 90 something 600 or something.

Erik Myers: What? What was he eating?

Captain Brien: Dude it was, and it was all mini bar. How crazy is that?

Erik Myers: Well that could be three sodas from a mini bar.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Erik Myers:  Where’d you have him up at the Ritz-Carlton?

Captain Brien: It was at the–

Erik Myers: Marriott?

Captain Brien: J.W. Marriott.

Erik Myers: Yeah that was the nicest hotel. He was the nicest guy on the planet.

Captain Brien: He was awesome.

Erik Myers: He was the best guy rest in peace and a comedy genius.

Captain Brien: Loved him.

Erik Myers: Yeah he took me to Mangiamo’s one time he got us like seven appetizers, I had like no money. And then I went up to a casino and lost $60 playing crabs and he gave me 60 bucks.

Captain Brien: No way.

Erik Myers: Mhm, and he gave me $100 tip at the end of the week. He loved me.

Captain Brien: He was a good dude.

Erik Myers: He was a nice guy.

Captain Brien: He really had a heart of gold didn’t he?

Erik Myers: He did, he did. He was a great guy and a great comic.

Captain Brien: What’s the craziest thing that’s happened to you in comedy? I mean you’ve been doing comedy now for what 20 years no? How long?

Erik Myers: Probaby, 17 years.

Captain Brien: 17 years?

Erik Myers: I did it twice before then but May 10th 2001 is my go to date. This has happened to me three times where someone has fallen off a stool and had to have an ambulance called and have them taken out.

Captain Brien: Here we are.

Erik Myers: Yeah that has happened to me. And it’s very weird cause I’m on stage and somebody will be drunk or they’ll take like pills or whatever before the show, and they’ll fall right off the stool and I have to stand there and I can’t really make jokes ’cause the person might be dead so it’s like but then going back on after it’s the whole shows ruined. That has happened to me three times in my life.

Captain Brien: It is weird I’ve had like people, it’s just the general public, you’ve had people have heart attacks, choke on a meal, like all kinds of crazy stuff.

Erik Myers: That would freak me out I couldn’t even watch that.

Captain Brien: You know you have thousands of people a week in your venue and weird stuff happens. So it’s the same stuff when you’re on stage I can totally get that.

Erik Myers: Have you ever have someone choking and someone had to give them the heimlich maneuver?

Captain Brien: Yeah dud a couple times.

Erik Myers: Oh my gosh. Really?

Captain Brien: I’ve had people throw up, people–

Erik Myers: At the table?

Captain Brien: People lay a turd. Yeah dude.

Erik Myers: At the table?

Captain Brien: Yeah dude yeah yeah yeah. The general public does some weird stuff.

Erik Myers: Wait they–

Captain Brien: A turd. Fell right out of his pant leg.

Erik Myers: What do you mean?

Captain Brien: But it happens apparently ’cause the other day I was in Walmart and I literally, it was a code brown, in the aisle there was a turd on the floor. And the lady–

Erik Myers: I’m sorry about that.

Captain Brien: I was Snapchatting it–

Erik Myers: I drank some prune juice.

Captain Brien: It was a turd right in the freaking electronic section. And this was the other day, it was on my Snapchat, true story.

Erik Myers: Should have been in the toilet paper section. Wait did they put little cat ears or something on it?

Captain Brien: And I was like in the electronic section? The people in the electronic section have more money than this they shouldn’t be turding in the aisle. They should be a little educated.

Erik Myers: You need to by some apple underwear.

Captain Brien: Right.

Erik Myers: The iDiaper. It plays 30 million songs.

Captain Brien: It was on the side I think it was where the accessories were they needed more accessories.

Erik Myers: He left an accessory. That’s the idukey.

Captain Brien: Oh Liz is in Massachusetts. What’s happenin’?

Erik Myers: Must be freezing.

Captain Brien: Michelle how are you? Yeah I know I’m sorry it’s actually 71 it’s gotten one degree warmer here since we’ve been doing this show.

Erik Myers: It was 66 when I woke up I was freezing. I had to put my little jackies on.

Captain Brien: What time did you wake up this morning?

Erik Myers: I woke up, you picked me up at 7:25, and I rolled out of bed around 7:24.

Captain Brien: Oh nice did you wake up when I called you?

Erik Myers: I did when you called me I lept right out of bed I was fully dressed and perked and ready to go. And I had some crystal meth right by the bed–

Captain Brien: How many Redbulls have you drank today?

Erik Myers: I am on my 19th one.

Captain Brien: No did you have your Redbull fix yet?

Erik Myers: I have an IV pumping my chest that pumps me full of glutamina and fluxtime. No I haven’t had any Redbulls today.

Captain Brien: No Redbulls?

Erik Myers: I had two cups of coffee.

Captain Brien: Usually you have a couple Redbulls to fire up the morning don’t you?

Erik Myers: Well then stop and get me one peanuts.

Captain Brien: I gotta go we gotta go radio because–

Erik Myers: Brien I was thirsty, I was parched.

Captain Brien: There’s a lot of traffic today so this episode might run a little longer ’cause I–

Erik Myers: I’m running out of wise cracks.

Captain Brien: What is that? Is that a set list?

Erik Myers: I was suppose to bring my set list but I accidentally brought my list of things I need from Walgreens so it’s not gonna be very funny.

Captain Brien: Okay so what is it?

Erik Myers: Nair for men. Extra small condoms. And a Caramello Bar.

Captain Brien: Wait have you actually–

Erik Myers: What’s up with Mountain Dew?

Captain Brien: Have you actually ever used Nair for men?

Erik Myers: I have.

Captain Brien: No way.

Erik Myers: I did.

Captain Brien: What did you put it on?

Erik Myers: We don’t need to talk about it.

Captain Brien: No did you put it on your junk?

Erik Myers: I put it on my bald spot that’s why.

Captain Brien: No.

Erik Myers: I wanted to look older and more distinguished.

Captain Brien: It’s working.

Erik Myers: I did it is working. I Naired my legs one time. I Naired my legs one time because they were so hairy.

Captain Brien: Sarah’s said she’s been to the club at least ten times and Erik Myers is our absolute favorite.

Erik Myers: Awwwww Sarah I lovins you. Bless your little heart. Bless your little heart.

Captain Brien: You put the Nair on your nuts?

Erik Myers: I did one time yes.

Captain Brien: No way.

Erik Myers: Yes, and Nair takes off one layer of skin and your nuts is like one and a half layers of skin.

Captain Brien: Does it say on the package that it’s okay for that area or no?

Erik Myers: ‘Cause I see a picture of nuts with like the ghostbusters thing, don’t do it. I, my balls were like transparent. It looked like a sandwich bag with two plums in it.

Captain Brien: That’s a nice size package.

Erik Myers: They were like ghost balls–

Captain Brien: If they were the size of plums, each one was the size of a plum? That’s a big package.

Erik Myers: I have gigantic balls. I get it from my mother. My grandmother had a huge sac. We use to call her coin purse. Big balls.

Captain Brien: I don’t think I’ve laughed that much on a Captain’s Log ever and that’s embarrassing you made me laugh so hard.

Erik Myers: Oh my God, my grandmothers sac was saggin’ down to the fuckin’ Antarctica. Oh sorry.

Captain Brien: Oh great now you’re cursing. Oh my God. Ida what’s going on?

Erik Myers: Brien, Ida!

Captain Brien: We’re in Fort Meyers and we’re stuck in traffic there’s a lot of traffic and the sun’s right in our face.

Erik Myers: We’re stuck.

Captain Brien: I gotta tell the camera guy to do some adjusting on the light here.

Erik Myers: What camera guy? You got a freaking five dollar thing from Walmart.

Captain Brien: Alright fine well whatever.

Erik Myers: You could buy that when–

Captain Brien: It sounds better when ya know they can’t see it. I have to build it up like it’s a real thing.

Erik Myers: I wonder if the guy who shit on the floor in Walmart is watching this right now crying.

Captain Brien: I literally–

Erik Myers: I ate a bunch of fruit loops!

Captain Brien: Right after I Snapchatted it, a little guy came over with gloves on and a mask. And I’m life you’ve got gloves and a mask on everybody’s walking around normal, what the hell is wrong with this turd? Is this like a radioactive turd?

Erik Myers: If you step in it you’ll become turd man.

Captain Brien: Right.

Erik Myers: Like spider man, that’s your origin story. Wait did you ever see Caddy Shack? There was like a baby Ruth in the bowl and someone picks up and eats it.

Captain Brien: Oh my God they I think they’ve shortened this light they’re letting three people go through at a time.

Erik Myers: Dude this is preposterous.

Captain Brien: It’s so many–

Erik Myers: I could walk to the damn hotel.

Captain Brien: Well we’re not going to the hotel we’re going to 103.9.

Erik Myers: Brien I’m done tired.

Captain Brien: You’re done for the day?

Erik Myers: What do you want from me?

Captain Brien: Hey you guys wanna see Erik tonight? Use the promo code E-M-F at offthehookcomedy.com.

Erik Myers: Come see me!

Captain Brien: And I promise he’s funny he’s hysterical.

Erik Myers: I’m hysterical.

Captain Brien: And John Charles is opening up for you.

Erik Myers: John Charles! Yes he is the hilarious John Charles, very funny comedian and the Fazzle.

Captain Brien: Is he comin’?

Erik Myers: He’s hosting.

Captain Brien: Oh my God Fazzle. Fazzle watches all the time. Fazzle–

Erik Myers: Fazzle’s great I love Fazzle. He’s very funny.

Captain Brien: Fazzle I’ve given him a hard time this morning and–

Erik Myers: Why he’s a good guy! He’s got funny jokes.

Captain Brien: I always give him a hard time it’s fun.

Erik Myers: Brien you damn–

Captain Brien: Kendall how’s your experience on the Captain’s Log so far?

Kendall: It’s good, it’s good.

Captain Brien: Are you doing okay?

Kendall: Oh yeah I’m doing great.

Captain Brien: Alright Kendall how come no male interns ever wanna be my intern? It’s always females.

Erik Myers: I don’t know.

Captain Brien: Kendall why is that? Is my ad specific female specific?

Kendall: Yeah.

Captain Brien: No it’s not!

Kendall: It’s targeted.

Captain Brien: I did not. I didn’t even run an ad so it’s at the college–

Erik Myers: What does it say on the ad?

Captain Brien: It’s FGCU.

Kendall: No prostitutes.

Erik Myers: Male prostitutes–

Captain Brien: You have to put in your size and measurements. That’s the qualification.

Erik Myers: For the tip of your intern?

Captain Brien: No I’m joking it’s at FGCU.

Erik Myers: Me too right here sexual harassment.

Captain Brien: No guys ever apply, I was just wondering why it’s always females.

Erik Myers: I applied.

Captain Brien: Well you had to be in school.

Erik Myers: I said I’d fuck you. You never returned my calls.

Captain Brien: I blocked you after that.

Erik Myers: I sent you a sexy Snapchat of me shitting on the floor at Walmart. And I said this could be your face.

Captain Brien: That was you? That was you?

Erik Myers: I’m the Walmart shitter, I’ve been five places in the tri state area.

Captain Brien: I’m a little disappointed, I honestly thought that post would go more viral than it did. It only had like a thousand views. On Snapchat. I was pissed I mean you guys should have given it more love. It was a turd dammit!

Erik Myers: I think you shit on there to drum up business. For captain Brien.

Captain Brien: I didn’t even even do it, I just happened to come across a turd on the floor.

Erik Myers: You should sell captain Brien’s diapers for adults.

Captain Brien: Yes. It’s part of my merch at captainbrien.com. I sell that with my vodka, that’s captain spelled out, Brien B-R-I-E-N dot com. You can buy all the merch.

Erik Myers: I’m drinking captain Brien vodka right now and I’m hallucinating.

Captain Brien: No you’re not we’d shut you off.

Erik Myers: No he cut me off he said it’s not alcoholic fun punch.

Captain Brien: So you guys wanna listen to us after this shenanigans is over which is in just a few minutes–

Erik Myers: I sad!

Captain Brien: We’re gonna be on Big Mama the Wild Bunch because we just finished on 105.5 The Beat.

Erik Myers: Yes.

Captain Brien: And after that around ten o’clock we’re gonna be on 96k-Rock with Jeff Sitto.

Erik Myers: I’m so excited.

Captain Brien: And Kendall has already failed. She’s suppose to be videoing. You’d think she’d video one time. Kendall have you videod done anything during this show yet today?

Kendall: No not at all.

Captain Brien: Zero?

Kendall: Zero.

Captain Brien: What am I paying you for?

Erik Myers: She’s relaxing!

Captain Brien: You should pay me for all this exposure.

Erik Myers: She’s getting paid.

Captain Brien: Yes it’s a–

Erik Myers: I gotta do this for free.

Captain Brien: It’s a damn shame.

Erik Myers: I’m a big star.

Captain Brien: This is what I think should happen right now. She should pay us for all the freaking knowledge we’re giving her.

Kendall: We’ll go to Five Guys.

Captain Brien: It’s ridiculous.

Erik Myers: It’s on you and you’re not even getting free tickets to the show.

Captain Brien: I’m calling the labor board right now.

Erik Myers: I’m calling them, I’m depressed.

Captain Brien: What are you gonna tell them?

Erik Myers: I’m gonna tell them I need to work. You’ve been talking about poo poo all day it’s making me sick. People are shittin’ on the damn floor at Kmart.

Captain Brien: No it’s Walmart.

Erik Myers: Why are you shopping where everyone’s shitting on the floor?

Captain Brien: It was Walmart in Naples. This is real, I’m not lying.

Erik Myers: Well rich people shit too.

Captain Brien: Well they don’t on the floor.

Erik Myers: You idealist.

Captain Brien: You don’t have to take it on the floor.

Erik Myers: Well you know some people gotta go they’re old.

Captain Brien: What’s the craziest thing you ever did in Walmart?

Erik Myers: Me?

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Erik Myers: I shit on the floor.

Captain Brien: No c’mon!

Erik Myers: In aisle seven. Is that where, in electronics!

Captain Brien: It was in electronics.

Erik Myers: I was, I got so excited by the apple watches I just shit right on the floor.

Captain Brien: That was not you, that was not you!

Erik Myers: I got so excited.

Captain Brien: It was small, it could have been a small child. It wasn’t like a huge plop, it was like a little turd.

Erik Myers: I take small poops. I only eat raisins.

Captain Brien: Did you ever do anything crazy at Walmart? Everyone’s got a good crazy Walmart story no?

Kendall: Oh hell yeah.

Erik Myers: One time my friend, no this wasn’t at Walmart, this was at like Rooms To Go, he dared me to lay in the bed, like the display bed and put the blankets over me and when anyone walked by he was like videotaping me, anyone walked by I was like hey can you wake me up in 20 minutes for work? And people gave me the dirtiest look, they finally threw me out.

Captain Brien: Did you sleep?

Erik Myers: I was like pretending to sleep but I had my shoes and all my clothes on and I got under the blankets and these people were walking by the bed and I was like can you guys keep it down? We were like making a YouTube video but they didn’t know it because he was hiding and the manager came by and he was yelling at me I was like okay give me five more minutes. I was like what time is it? Wake me up at three I gotta go to work. It was actually kinda funny but.

Captain Brien: It sounds funny.

Erik Myers: Yeah I don’t know what the craziest thing I ever did at Walmart–

Captain Brien: One of the craziest things I ever did I know was I don’t know if that’s legal but we’re just gonna roll with that right there like that.

Erik Myers: What?

Captain Brien: The video like that.

Erik Myers: You can’t even see the oncoming traffic I don’t feel safe in this vehicle Brien.

Captain Brien: Let’s see. It’s another camera angle you know.

Erik Myers: Brien I’m a professional Uber driver I think I know how to drive.

Captain Brien: Really? Why did Kendall switch positions?

Kendall: I need a better angle.

Captain Brien: Oh you need a better look?

Erik Myers: She’s trying to jump out of the car and I don’t blame her.

Captain Brien: So one time I had a bike race in Walmart. That was fun.

Erik Myers: In Walmart?

Captain Brien: Yeah we used their bikes and–

Erik Myers: Who raced you and your kids?

Captain Brien: No a couple buddies. We were driving around Walmart on our bikes and racing and then the guy was like sir you can’t do that anymore. And I was like okay I’ll ride it back and I just drove it right back and parked it.

Erik Myers: What was that post you did on Facebook your kid was like my hair looks dead ass ratchet today or something?

Captain Brien: My daughter when she was like–

Erik Myers: So she got her cellphone back right?

Captain Brien: Yeah she got her cellphone back. She said something like dad my hair looks ratchet I need to get it cut today, dead ass. I was like you’re 11 nothing’s dead ass and it’s not ratchet.

Erik Myers: What does ratchet even mean?

Captain Brien: I don’t know. It’s like a ghetto term of like–

Kendall: Daytona.

Erik Myers What does it mean?

Kendall: Daytona, Daytona is ratchet.

Captain Brien: Daytona is ratchet. Like the city?

Kendall: Daytona Beach on spring break is ratchet.

Captain Brien: Really?

Erik Myers: What is ratchet?

Captain Brien: Yeah what’s ratchet mean?

Erik Myers: We’ll ask the college girl.

Captain Brien: Yeah the college girl knows.

Kendall: Ratchet is like just very dirty very grimy.

Erik Myers: Dirty and grimy.

Kendall: And gangsta

Captain Brien: Dirty and grimy and gangsta.

Kendall: Yeah.

Captain Brien: And that’s ratchet?

Kendall: That’s ratchet.

Erik Myers: I’m ratchet.

Kendall: Twerking, twerking on a stage is ratchet.

Erik Myers: ‘Cause it’s dirty?

Captain Brien: I like to twerk. How’s your twerkin’ skills?

Erik Myers I can’t really make my butt cheeks clap.

Captain Brien: No?

Erik Myers: No.

Captain Brien: Oh I make them clap.

Erik Myers: It’s kind of a soft calm.

Captain Brien: I make it clap make it clap make it clap.

Erik Myers: It’s like a golf clap.

Captain Brien: That’s my move.

Erik Myers: What?

Captain Brien: That’s my move that’s what I do at the club right away I go right to the clap.

Erik Myers: You make them ass cheeks clap?

Captain Brien: Yeah dude.

Erik Myers: I like to twerk. I twerk at Walmart.

Captain Brien: You do?

Erik Myers: I make them ass cheeks clap.

Captain Brien: In the aisle?

Erik Myers: Yeah and then the values fall down. It’s like 10% off, I’m like, they’re like 20% off. My balls are flappin’ around.

Captain Brien: You make it rain.

Erik Myers: I make it rain, I make it hail–

Captain Brien:  We’re not making it rain here on the Captain’s Log but we are–

Erik Myers: Prounce no.

Captain Brien: We are causing a lot of problems.

Erik Myers: I’m making diarrhea.

Captain Brien: I’m trying to drive Jesus what’re you doing?

Erik Myers: You call this drivin’? Jesus Christ

Captain Brien: Yes luckily this car drives itself.

Erik Myers: I think you’re legally blind.

Captain Brien: The car drives itself so we’re good.

Erik Myers: Well it sucks.

Captain Brien: I just gotta stay like semi on the road.

Erik Myers: Kendall will you drive? Because I think Brien’s had one too many captain Briens cocktails.

Captain Brien: Look there’s a cop right here in front of us. This is my move. If we get pulled over I’m always gonna put the live on air sign on. Don’t you think that would work? I hope that works. Actually I hope I never get pulled over–

Erik Myers: If we do we’ll get shot and put it on YouTube. but if I do I’m just gonna turn on the live on air, and he’s gonna say sir why are you live on air? Well I film a show in this car sir and I’m just doing a stunt. This was a stunt.

Captain Brien: This is a stunt.

Captain Brien: A speeding stunt.

Erik Myers: It’s a speeding stunt. I think you’d get off.

Captain Brien: I think it could work.

Erik Myers: Whenever I tell a cop I’m a comedian they always let me go. They’re like tell me a joke.

Captain Brien: Well guys thanks for tuning in. Go see Erik tonight at Off the Hook. We’re going on 103.9–

Erik Myers: When do we start filming this?

Captain Brien: We’re gonna start the show in a minute and this is the Captain’s Log. You guys like share say hello, there’s a little bell in the corner–

Erik Myers: Little bell!

Captain Brien: Ring that, press that little bell and you get notified that we’re live. When we’re live on the air you will know.

Erik Myers: You should have little twerking–

Captain Brien: And then if you had fun, if you enjoyed even a half a second of this show, give it a like. If you enjoyed more than five minutes then you have to share it, it’s just common law. And thanks for tuning in we had fun we’re here.

Erik Myers: Gracious!

Captain Brien: We’ll be back tomorrow with Joe List. Thanks for watching guys this is the Captain’s Log and oh yeah you can watch all the episodes on YouTube you can see this live but you can download the podcasts, Stitch or iTunes, Sound Cloud. I’m just gonna keep talking I don’t know why, this show’s over. Erik go do something, I don’t pay you anymore, you’re done.

Episode 203 The Captain’s Log with In The Know Columnist Tim Aten and Captain Brien!

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Tim Aten and Captain Brien obsess over pizza while mentioning some restaurants coming to Naples soon. They chat about upcoming shows at Off The Hook with Michael Blackson then wrap up with more about what’s new.

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info. 

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!

Check Tim Aten out and show him some love at:

PODCAST RECAP

Miss something on one of our episodes of the #naplescaptainslog? Don’t worry we got you covered! Here you will find a full transcript from this episode of the #naplescaptainslog!

Captain Brien: Hey guys, thanks for joining the Captain’s Log today. Check it out. By the way, if you haven’t liked and shared the post, please do so. I do this every day. I don’t know, anyway. Tim Aten is our guest today. He is the famous reporter that you know locally for In the Know column, and we’re gonna learn about some new restaurants comin’ your way, and it’s all exciting good stuff. Get ready ’cause the Captain’s Log’s right at ya. Good morning, back again on the Captain’s Log, Tim Aten. In the Know, buddy.

Tim Aten: Hey.

Captain Brien: You’re the star of this whole town.

Tim Aten: Yeah, this is great.

Captain Brien: You write all the columns, everybody wants to follow you, know what’s going on next.

Tim Aten: Yeah, but this is the seat, man. This is like The Tonight Show. I feel like a lot of famous people have sat here.

Captain Brien: We are having fun, yes, I tell ya. It’s season two of The Captain’s Log, and I keep saying that season one only took 13 years to finish. I don’t know why I never said, season two, throughout all those years, but–

Tim Aten: I know, and you’ve, what, more than a couple hundred, right?

Captain Brien: Yeah, 200 episodes.

Tim Aten: Wow!

Captain Brien: I should have said, season two, at some point, right?

Tim Aten: Wow.

Captain Brien: But I wasn’t that organized up until recently. So anyway, yeah, you should be live on the air if you see it now, and then, we’re gonna take a little ride and see what’s goin’ on.

Tim Aten: All right.

Captain Brien: I wanna know what’s in the know. That’s the key, right?

Tim Aten: Oh, well, this time of year there’s a lot happening. in fact, I’ve been so inundated the last, the end of the year just hits. I feel like I get hit by a truck every year. It’s just so much to do to catch up.

Captain Brien: It really is.

Tim Aten: To look back, review, and to look ahead, it’s crazy, but there’s a lot comin’.

Captain Brien: What’s the big stuff? Tell me some good stuff. I wanna know.

Tim Aten: Well, comin’ up we have, between January and February, what we just know, there’s eight new restaurants coming each of those months. So we’re gonna have 16 new restaurants at least

Captain Brien: Wow!

Tim Aten: in January and February, and–

Captain Brien: And there’s a few right here, right? You got the Havana Blue and–

Tim Aten: Yeah, yeah, over here, yeah, the Cuban restaurant. The one that I think I’m interested in trying the pizza is Mr. 01 Extraordinary Pizza–

Captain Brien: That’s the guy from Miami, right?

Tim Aten: Yes!

Captain Brien: Oh, makes the star pizza.

Tim Aten: Yeah, exactly.

Captain Brien: I can’t wait. I’m gonna totally go for that.

Tim Aten: Yeah, yeah, I wanna try that one, and there’s another pizza place coming in February that I’m interested in is the guys that do Low Brow, have you been down there?

Captain Brien: Oh yeah, Chef Chris is my good buddy.

Tim Aten: Chris Jones, oh yeah–

Captain Brien: He’s openin’ another place?

Tim Aten: Yeah, he’s doin’ one called Industry Pizza and Slice Shop–

Captain Brien: Nice!

Tim Aten: Which is gonna be on Pinebridge in that little area where there’s Patrick’s and Bon Jour and Chinatown in that little strip.

Captain Brien: Yeah, yeah

Tim Aten: Back there

Captain Brien: Oh good

Tim Aten: That little, it was a dog bakery before.

Captain Brien: I know exactly what you’re talking about.

Tim Aten: But anyway, he’s gonna have slices, New York slices and like 24 inch pies. And I really wanna

Captain Brien: I love that

Tim Aten: I know. I can’t wait to try that

Captain Brien: I love that

Tim Aten: Cause it’s different than what he’s doing at Low Brow, but you know it’s gonna be good

Captain Brien: Right because his pizza’s more of like a rustic kind of brick oven, right.

Tim Aten: Yeah.

Captain Brien: So is he gonna do a New York style? Is that what he’s doin?

Tim Aten: Right New York and he’s gonna do some like Detroit squares too.

Captain Brien: I love that.

Tim Aten: But mainly he’s doin the slices.

Captain Brien: And he’s.

Tim Aten: And that’s what’s good. You can get it by the slice, because you can’t find that much here.

Captain Brien: No.

Tim Aten: I mean you can for lunch some places.

Captain Brien: I go to Mama Mia’s for a nice slice.

Tim Aten: He’s doin lunch. Exactly and Peppy’s is good.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Tim Aten: For slices, but they’re only during lunch. But this guy, he’s doin all day.

Captain Brien: I love that.

Tim Aten: Yeah.

Captain Brien: I love that. Chef Chris is a good friend of mine and he’s phenomenal.

Tim Aten: Yeah.

Captain Brien: I mean he came from so many different country clubs and what he’s doing now is great. I just, I love everything that he’s been.

Tim Aten: Yeah doin great.

Captain Brien: From the food truck and all that.

Tim Aten: Great sense of humor and

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Tim Aten: You know that’s what’s so funny about it, it’s one of those, you get chuckles goin in there so.

Captain Brien: So when does the, is the place with the star pizza guy comin? Cause I haven’t seen it in build out yet.

Tim Aten: Yeah it’s supposed to be in February so I think, I’m not sure, I think close to February 1st but I’m not certain exactly what day. And that’s the thing, its kind of a moving target. Even if they tell you a date, its not necessarily for sure. There are two for sures opening though on January 21st and that’s, one of them is The Yard House, which I’m excited about.

Captain Brien: I can’t wait

Tim Aten: Yeah that one

Captain Brien: Any time it’s in West Palm

Tim Aten: Yes

Captain Brien: The food is phenomenal. The atmosphere is always lit and

Tim Aten: Well I want to

Captain Brien: I’ve been tellin people too

Tim Aten: Yeah and I’m gonna try to get in there and do a pre-story on just how the beer lines were. There’s like miles of beer lines. They have 130 kegs they tap.

Captain Brien: Wow.

Tim Aten: More than 130.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Tim Aten: Up on the whole second floor and so, no it’s exciting to find. Even though its a chain, it still has a smaller type of chain

Captain Brien: Yeah they do

Tim Aten: I mean it’s part of Darden

Captain Brien: the food they do is really good though. I have to admit, like, I’ll go there every once in a while. Ill be in West Palm Beach on a Sunday, I’m telling you people line up at the door

Tim Aten: Wow

Captain Brien: To get a seat for the game. That’s how busy it is.

Tim Aten: No I knew it was gonna be big. And then that same day the first Newk’s Eatery opens here.

Captain Brien: Wait, what’s that one? You got me on that one.

Tim Aten: It’s like, it’s kind of a counter service. It’s American comfort food. It’s a place that’s gonna, the first ones gonna be on Naples Blvd.

Captain Brien: Is this a chain or is this

Tim Aten: It’s a chain yeah. They have.

Captain Brien: Its called Newk’s?

Tim Aten:Yeah Newk’s Eatery and they.

Captain Brien: I think I’ve seen it in a magazine but I’ve never been.

Tim Aten: Yeah and so they’re gonna have three of them probably around, before this time next year, we’ll have, cause there’s gonna be a second one.

Captain Brien: Okay

Tim Aten: Its going to be at Logan’s Landing at Logan and Immokalee

Captain Brien: Where’s the first one goin?

Tim Aten: The first one’s gonna be in that little strip they built in front of Hollywood 20 on Naples Blvd.

Captain Brien: Yeah yeah.

Tim Aten: Yeah so it’ll be, they’ll have outdoor dining

Captain Brien: Oh nice.

Tim Aten: there and it’ll be.

Captain Brien: That’s right, right around the corner yeah

Tim Aten: Yeah its real nice people that are, the franchisees live in Bonita. And they own like three of them I believe in New Orleans area and so they’re gonna have three here. They’re gonna have, there will be another one up on Alico.

Captain Brien: What kind of food is it?

Tim Aten: It’s, it’s kind of like comfort food. Soups, salads, you know hamburgers, sandwich, like a lot of sandwich type stuff.

Captain Brien: Okay.

Tim Aten: But I think, I think that it probably will do okay. And then we have some other ones that are, one, that other one that has probably the most buzz of any restaurant around is that Rocco’s Taco’s.

Captain Brien: Phenomenal.

Tim Aten: Which is coming in

Captain Brien: Phenomenal.

Tim Aten: Mid- jaunary, it might even open the same day for that matter, January 21st

Captain Brien: Rocco’s Tacos out of control good. Love it. I love the DJ.

Tim Aten: So yeah that’s, those are big.

Captain Brien: The hype atmosphere. I mean another place from the east coast is jammed.

Tim Aten: Yes.

Captain Brien: Literally jammed every day.

Tim Aten: Yep.

Captain Brien: I think they’re gonna crush it at the Mercato.

Tim Aten: Oh yeah.

Tim Aten: Totally.

Tim Aten: No doubt and so that one is, like I said, it’s got more, it’s got.

Captain Brien: It should.

Tim Aten:The only one that rivaled that for buzz and probably exceeded it was Celebration Park Food Truck.

Captain Brien: Oh yeah.

Tim Aten: That just opened up.

Captain Brien: Which is great. I’ve been there like four times already and I love going there.

Tim Aten: That had a huge buzz.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Tim Aten: And so does Rocco’s Tacos and so does, another one that’s coming this season to Mercato is TooJay’s deli, which is again

Captain Brien: Another east coast guy.

Tim Aten: East coast, exactly.

Captain Brien: Food’s great. I’m so happy they’re coming

Tim Aten: Yeah.

Captain Brien: So are they going where the old deli.

Tim Aten: Yeah where Stage 62 was.

Captain Brien: Really?

Tim Aten: Yeah.

Captain Brien: Yeah yeah yeah so TooJay’s, phenomenal.

Tim Aten: Yeah.

Captain Brien: How about their soup, you ever have it?

Tim Aten: No I haven’t been there.

Captain Brien: Oh their matzo ball soup.

Tim Aten: I have not been. I’ve always heard about it. In fact, people started asking me about them like more than five years ago. When is TooJay’s gonna come?

Captain Brien: You know why? Because they were looking at the place where I’m at.

Tim Aten: Oh they were?

Captain Brien: They were.

Tim Aten: They were also looking at the pavilion across, over there.

Captain Brien: They were pretty close to striking a deal. where I opened Off the Hook.

Tim Aten: Right.

Captain Brien: And um yeah.

Tim Aten: A lot of people were though. Because I heard, I remember when your place was, that was also gonna be one of the first locations for Twin Peaks.

Captain Brien: Oh really?

Tim Aten: In southwest Florida.

Captain Brien: Wow.

Tim Aten: They were gonna open there before they did the one up in, on Alico.

Captain Brien: That place is so busy.

Tim Aten: I know. But I don’t know, for some reason, they didn’t. And the another one who was gonna come there before you was Charles Mereday, Was gonna.

Captain Brien: Oh yeah.

Tim Aten: Was gonna do a place. He actually told me that an then it wasn’t long before he ended up leaving town.

Captain Brien: I think the Regency Center was pretty picky on who they wanted there so I think it took a little local buzz, right?

Tim Aten: Right, right.

Captain Brien: They kinda were like “look we want you to go there” so that’s I think what happened.

Tim Aten: Well and when you had the most longevity, cause you’re like at least the fourth um.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Tim Aten: Place to go in there.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Tim Aten: Or maybe fifth even because.

Captain Brien: It could be.

Tim Aten: Yeah because it started, when I remember the first one was Encore.

Captain Brien: That’s right.

Tim Aten: Was Encore and they were there only a couple years. And then there was Cafe Italia

Captain Brien: Mmm-hmm.

Tim Aten: Which was only there a couple years.

Captain Brien: Yep.

Tim Aten: And then there was, the next two were only there like a year, Latitude and Bond.

Captain Brien: Yeah I don’t think any of them really had like something you could sink your teeth into. I think that was most of it.

Tim Aten: Right.

Captain Brien: But in general, the Plaza is really like shopping and the restaurants at night, there’s not very many in that area right now so.

Tim Aten: Right. no but you’ve got a great location though because

Captain Brien: We’re packed. Yeah because I get to use all this parking.

Tim Aten: Yeah.

Captain Brien: That’s why it’s great.

Tim Aten: But it’s like seven, more than 7000 square feet I think right? So its a big place.

Captain Brien: It’s 8500 yeah

Tim Aten: Oh wow that’s good.

Captain Brien: it’s pretty big. The kitchen’s huge. Actually we have two kitchens, the front kitchen and the back kitchen. So the original people, I guess, that originally designed it, we only did a minor construction but I guess they thought they were gonna serve, you know 10,000 people a day cause they built it like a hotel.

Tim Aten: Oh my gosh.

Captain Brien: The kitchen’s insane, so yeah

Tim Aten: But you’re, you’ll be coming up on your fourth anniversary though this year.

Captain Brien: That’s right.

Tim Aten: I think and so you’ve already survived more than any of those other two put together.

Captain Brien: Right yeah.

Tim Aten: So that’s good.

Captain Brien: I mean we had an ongoing business. It’s been almost 14 years now.

Tim Aten: Mm-hmm.

Captain Brien: So that was just a good move for us but that makes it nice, you know.

Tim Aten: Right.

Captain Brien: Now that we’re there and we’re actually putting in a new stage next week.

Tim Aten: Oh wow.

Captain Brien: So that should be cool. Not a whole new stage, we already did that. But we’re putting in a whole new backdrop. So we’re redesigning the back of the stage, which is cool because we’ve been doing so much with video and we’re recording and we had some clips hit 2, 3 million views with the comedians, you know, on stage.

Tim Aten: Oh yeah.

Captain Brien: So we’re gonna really, in 2019, we’re shooting 4k, three cameras like every night at the shows and its been doing really well on Instagram and Facebook and even YouTube.

Tim Aten: That’s good.

Captain Brien: So that’s our new move for 2019.

Tim Aten: That’s great. Well I know that you’ve got the two different names, you’ve got the Rose Seafood and then you’ve got the Off The Hook, so what, do you see your place as a comedy club with a restaurant or a restaurant with a comedy club or how do you see it?

Captain Brien: As far as that goes, honestly, I want it to be a restaurant with a comedy club cause I want people to eat, but everybody does eat now and we’re clearly a comedy club. So it’s kind of been a transition. Originally we were a restaurant. Then we went to restaurant with a comedy club. And now it’s pretty full scale comedy club 24/7. I mean we’re doing shows every night except Monday. So Tuesday through Sunday there’s just shows. So it’s very hard even to come in for the restaurant

Tim Aten: Right.

Captain Brien: Unless you are watching a show. Which is great because then I get to feed them and they get to laugh and they get to buy tickets. So it works out good for us.

Tim Aten: And the drinks, don’t forget.

Captain Brien: And they get the drinks, yeah cause I have the new vodka and the rum.

Tim Aten: Yeah I know.

Captain Brien: Have you tried that yet?

Tim Aten: No I want to though. That sounds great.

Captain Brien: You gotta try it. Ill give you a bottle of Captain Brien’s vodka or rum. Whatever your preference is when we leave. That’s my departing gift. I get people on The Captain’s Log, they get a gift, you know.

Tim Aten: That’s funny.

Captain Brien: So.

Tim Aten: So I know you started like nine years ago. You were down, or not nine years ago, you were nine years in Marco.

Captain Brien: Yes.

Tim Aten: So how did you start with the comedy though? What started that?

Captain Brien: So because, originally in 2001 when I opened Captain Brien’s it was like a take-out concept. And then when we grew to the 200 seater on Marco Island, basically at the end of 8:00 at night I was like I think it’s gonna be pretty slow if we don’t figure out what to do for a late night and I just one day decided, these guys are just gonna have a conversation right across, car to car, huh. So then I just decided that we needed to do something late at night and that’s really all it was. Was a decision to do late night entertainment and it started growing and growing and growing but the BP oil spill was really I think one of the reasons why we changed the whole concept to doing national comedy acts all the time, was because there was so slow during that time and people like hesitant to eat the seafood. Remember there was that.

Tim Aten: Oh right, right.

Captain Brien: “Ooh we shouldn’t eat seafood.” It affected us so bad that I basically

Tim Aten: Or they thought there was oil on the beaches

Captain Brien: Right.

Tim Aten: And they didn’t come down.

Captain Brien: Right yeah they didn’t know.

Tim Aten: Right, never go there once.

Captain Brien: Exactly so during that transition. I basically started just doing huge like national acts every week and focusing on the local Fort Myers, Naples and Marco Island clientele to come to the restaurant for comedy.

Tim Aten: Wow.

Captain Brien: And that’s, that’s it. After that it became 50% comedy, 50% restaurant. And then it kept going and you know the restaurant became secondary to the comedy.

Tim Aten: Well how did you, do you have connections with national acts? How did you come about that?

Captain Brien: You know what? It really just started where I would just, was knocking on Hollywood 24/7, that’s it.

Tim Aten: But it’s easier now I’m guessing?

Captain Brien: Now they call me 24/7. now it’s more of a pain in the butt.

Tim Aten: Oh my gosh.

Captain Brien: But the thing is.

Tim Aten: That’s a nice problem to have

Captain Brien: It is but it’s still always a challenge to put the right act on the right week and also they have to be available. Like so you have to work together all the time. Like if you’re not talking and looking at calendars and schedules and who’s available every day, like you might miss something that could have fit perfect for the schedule.

Tim Aten: Right.

Captain Brien: Cause you only have 52 weeks.

Tim Aten: Mm hmm.

Captain Brien: And every weekend, if you don’t have like a winner, then it’s really, then it’s a loss for the business.

Tim Aten: Yep.

Captain Brien: So you gotta try and shoot for wins every week. Like, this week, we have a really big act tonight and tomorrow. The guy’s got like four million followers on social media, Michael Blackson. He’s the guy that has the roast battles with Kevin Hart every day on Twitter and Instagram

Tim Aten: Ah okay.

Captain Brien: And Facebook. They just go back and forth at each other. But he’s doing two shows tonight, two shows tomorrow. And those are packed so that’s great.

Tim Aten: Mm hmm.

Captain Brien: You know like. We just came off Tom Cotter for New Years Eve, which was really good and that was two sold out shows. And then to have Michael Blackson the following week, because this would be a slow weekend for us. It’s hard to do, like coming off New Years, how many people want to go back out and party again?

Tim Aten: Right.

Captain Brien: But the when I find a guy like Michael Blackson, who has a built in audience, like you know he just puts out a tweet and a message on his Instagram that he’s gonna be here and all of a sudden everybody wants to show up. So that’s.

Tim Aten: Well that’s good.

Captain Brien: That’s what like my focus is every day is you have to find those because there’s not, there’s not those guys calling me. Like I still have to go out and say “Hey look, I want you on this weekend” which works out really good.

Tim Aten: That’s good.

Captain Brien: Barbecue, what’s your favorite barbecue?

Tim Aten: Oh there’s some good ones. I mean, I think that I don’t have a personal favorite necessarily but I know that Black Eyed Pig is one of the favorite ones around.

Captain Brien: Oh yeah the Black Eyed pig’s great

Tim Aten: And you know the one thing too that’s, there are at least three barbecue places coming this year.

Captain Brien: I know one that’s coming.

Tim Aten: There’s Nawty Hogg Backyard BBQ, which has a food truck down at Celebration Park. It’s opening up a brick and mortar place.

Captain Brien: Ah okay.

Tim Aten: They’re gonna be at, where the old Joey D’s was at Pine Ridge and Collier Blvd. Back in that.

Tim Aten: Yeah okay. that little shopping center, Brooks Village.

Captain Brien: Yep.

Tim Aten: So they’re gonna be opening up probably around February 1st. And then there’s another one coming called, tentatively called Off The Bone Rib Shack.

Captain Brien: Okay.

Tim Aten: And it’s gonna be in Logans Landing again but they’re building where the new shopping center at Logan and Immokalee, which is.

Captain Brien: Oh I know right where that is

Tim Aten: Yeah yeah in fact Sprouts Farmers Market will be

Captain Brien: That’s gonna be the.

Tim Aten: The first local one will be

Captain Brien: Yep.

Tim Aten: That’s opening February 20th. so everything else will be after that and they’re gonna, I don’t think they get possession for the, for the

Captain Brien: Restaurant.

Tim Aten: The shells to build out until like February 1st

Captain Brien: So then they’re gonna be 8 months

Tim Aten: So things will take 60 to 90 days, it depends on what the place is. Some of them are gonna be longer, yeah. I think the Off The Bone won’t be until next fall.

Captain Brien: Is that a chain or a local guy?

Tim Aten: It’s local.

Captain Brien: Oh cool.

Tim Aten: In fact behind it is Randy Seyler of Pelican Larry’s.

Captain Brien: Yeah, yeah sure I know Randy.

Tim Aten: He’s doing it but then he’s got some, he won’t, he hasn’t given me the name yet, but he’s got some local barbecue guy, I don’t know who it is.

Captain Brien: Very cool.

Tim Aten: It could be a number of people.

Captain Brien: And then there’s a guy at the farmers market. on Vanderbilt.

Tim Aten: Yes.

Captain Brien: The Pit, is it Pitmaster?

Tim Aten: Yes, Pit Commander.

Captain Brien: Pit Commander, I love his barbecue

Tim Aten: Yeah and that’s gonna be a cool place too again down on Bayshore. You’re gonna have a lot of synergy between that and the Celebration Park. But he’s got, yeah he’s central-Texan barbecue.

Captain Brien: Oh my God, his brisket’s out of control.

Tim Aten: Yeah it’s.

Captain Brien: Have you tried that?

Tim Aten: Yeah it’s good. Yeah and he has, he’s there, he just came back I think Saturdays now he’s at Vanderbilt

Captain Brien: Yes.

Tim Aten: Again.

Captain Brien: On Saturday mornings yeah.

Tim Aten: At the farmers market.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Tim Aten: And so but he’ll be there full time. It’s gonna be cool, like a garden setting out in the and again it’s gonna be a brew house. They’re gonna do their own beer there

Captain Brien: Very cool.

Tim Aten: And then he’ll be the main food down there

Captain Brien: That’s excellent. That’s excellent

Tim Aten: and then he’s also gonna branch off and do, he calls it Texapolitan pizza.

Captain Brien: Oh.

Tim Aten: And I think he’s gonna start that there. It may not be right away, but he’ll be offering that.

Captain Brien: That’ll be interesting.

Tim Aten: Yeah.

Captain Brien: I love pizza. I can eat pizza for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Tim Aten: Yeah me too.

Captain Brien: Do you eat a lot of pizza?

Tim Aten: I do yeah, probably too much, but yeah I love it. In fact, that’s always a joke at my family cause

Captain Brien: Me too.

Tim Aten: Like it was birthdays, people go to get steak, I would want to go and have pizza.

Captain Brien: When I eat pizza, if it’s not New York pizza, and I eat a different style, that means I can still eat New York pizza for the next meal.

Tim Aten: Because it’s not real pizza

Captain Brien: Right, it doesn’t count right, exactly so I’ll just eat

Tim Aten: That’s funny.

Captain Brien: And I have to watch it because it’s like how many more carbs do I have to eat today?

Tim Aten: You know what I’m looking forward to trying and that I’ve never had before is that new Abruzzo place that’s coming, at shops across from the corner.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Tim Aten: Where Cafe Alfredo was.

Captain Brien: Right, right, right on Vanderbilt.

Tim Aten: They’re gonna have fried pizza.

Captain Brien: Really?

Tim Aten: Yeah, and I’ve never had that, so I’m kind of interested to see what it’s like.

Captain Brien: I drive my bike by there everyday and I peek in because I go to the gym right there and it looks like they’re kinda getting close.

Tim Aten: Yeah.

Captain Brien: I think they just–

Tim Aten: Yeah, they might be opening this week, actually.

Captain Brien: Right, because I don’t think they did a full remodel.

Tim Aten: No.

Captain Brien: They just cleaned it up.

Tim Aten: No, and they didn’t really need to.

Captain Brien: Correct.

Tim Aten: And they’ve got that really nice pizza oven.

Captain Brien: Yep.

Tim Aten: So, they’re gonna use that. They’re gonna have regular pizzas too, coal fired Neapolitan-style pizzas, but they’re also gonna do this fried pizza, which I’m kinda interested in.

Captain Brien: Really? Now, isn’t that, they have another location?

Tim Aten: Yeah they’re in the Pavilion.

Captain Brien: Right.

Tim Aten: Next to the Paragon Pavilion Theater.

Captain Brien: Right next to the movie theater. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, good.

Tim Aten: Yeah, they been there for years and so this’ll be a second. And they claim they’re gonna keep the first one open. I kind of wonder if that’s just until the lease runs out, ’cause that seems kinda close to have. It’s only two and a half miles apart between the two locations.

Captain Brien: Right.

Tim Aten: So, I wouldn’t think they’re gonna really keep the first one open after too long.

Captain Brien: Oh you don’t think the one at the theater–

Tim Aten: Maybe they won’t. Maybe they won’t because they might be different.

Captain Brien: It’s smaller right? That place is much smaller where they are now.

Tim Aten: Yeah, yeah.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Tim Aten: Yeah, but that’s one thing. This is two units where they’re going, so it’s a pretty nice place, so.

Captain Brien: I can’t believe ten years, my God. And that plaza has gotten so busy, where the Pavilion is. I mean it’s packed all the time.

Tim Aten: Yeah, you know what? When Publix left there and moved across to The Market Place at Pelican Bay, I thought this shopping center is gonna be dead.

Captain Brien: Dead.

Tim Aten: It’s gonna die, but then LA Fitness went in there, and that actually has been busier than ever.

Captain Brien: It’s way busier than ever.

Tim Aten: I can’t believe it. Yeah, I can’t believe it.

Captain Brien: You can’t even park there half the time. It’s so busy.

Tim Aten: I know, and it’s not even built out. They still have those units to fill on the other side where Key West Bar and Grill used be.

Captain Brien: That’s right.

Tim Aten: And it seems like there’s another one over there. And there’s were TooJay’s was gonna go.

Captain Brien: Oh, okay.

Tim Aten: So, they’re liable to see, you’re probably get somebody there eventually big too.

Captain Brien: I’m surprised that TooJay’s is taking that small unit because they used to be, they’re huge, usually, like big stores. Maybe it’s cause it’s they’re first time on this market, they want to just.

Tim Aten: I don’t know. I didn’t even realize that it was a lot smaller than what they normally choose.

Captain Brien: Yeah they’re foot print is usually really big, like a Jason’s Deli.

Tim Aten: Okay.

Captain Brien: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, that’s something that.

Tim Aten: No, people are excited about it though, because over the years I get asked the most about a New-York-style cuisine. We went up there. Cause New Yorkers, I know you can relate, are always looking for the best pizza, the best pastrami sandwich, the best bagel, and the best Jewish deli.

Captain Brien: And I can’t leave out Pastrami Dan’s, my all time favorite.

Tim Aten: Oh yeah, that’s good.

Captain Brien: I love, love, love. I go in Pastrami Dan’s and get half roast beef with cheddar and gravy, and the other side of the sandwich, pastrami. Yeah, ya gotta go for the combo, ya gotta tell ’em.

Tim Aten: That sounds good, that sounds good.

Captain Brien: And then the other I get pastrami with Swiss, pickles, and mustard. And then I get a super taco. You ever have the super taco there?

Tim Aten: No.

Captain Brien: Oh my God

Tim Aten: No, I wanna go there for that, though.

Captain Brien: You gotta have the super taco. It’s delicious. And they put the cheese on it, like the grilled cheese gets burnt on the edge. Oh, my good. So delicious.

Tim Aten: No, they’ve been around a long time. Probably like 40 years I think.

Captain Brien: Yeah, it’s been amazing. And every time you go in it’s busier and busier. So, he does good. I’m happy for him. They’re always watching. So, hey guys, what’s happening? Anyway, anything else you wanna tell me? I’ve learned a lot of good stuff, but is there anything, you have a diamond in the ruff? Otherwise we’re gonna wrap it up.

Tim Aten: Well, also do my Monday column, which people, I hope they will right in for the Q and A. So, it’s a question answer. People will write in all kinds of things. I like covering the development actually more than the restaurants.

Captain Brien: And you’ll post your contact information in the comments. So, people can write into you. They ask questions, you know Tim from In The Know, always has the best information about the up and coming restaurants. You do other stuff besides restaurants, but that’s your key, right?

Tim Aten: Yeah, that’s the most popular. People just love it. I’d say they eat it up.

Captain Brien: They really do.

Tim Aten: So, and then the Monday, like coming up this Monday I’ve got a thing on Waterside Shops, the Apple Store. People wanna know when it’s gonna reopen, and it’s not gonna be till the fall.

Captain Brien: Wait, I didn’t even know it was closed.

Tim Aten: Oh yeah it’s been closed since September. They’re remodeling. It’s gonna be a huge store.

Captain Brien: Really?

Tim Aten: They took over where the old Talbots was, and they’re expanding. And I’m not sure exactly what they’re doing yet, but I hope to find out by then.

Captain Brien: Well, that’s great. That’s good news. See, I didn’t know that.

Tim Aten: Yeah it’s good. And Starbucks, though, is closing there.

Captain Brien: They are.

Tim Aten: They’re going more towards drive-throughs and that kind of things, which they’ve been opening so, they’re not gonna be in Waterside anymore after January 11th.

Captain Brien: Well, that’s In the Know, guys. See? You got your own little episode today on The Captain’s Log. Thanks Tim, I appreciate you being here.

Tim Aten: Well thank you. It was a pleasure.

Captain Brien: Appreciate you taking a ride with me. It’s interesting and 2019’s gonna be a great year.

Tim Aten: Oh yeah

Captain Brien: And stay in touch. We’ll do it again.

Tim Aten: Alight, thanks.

Captain Brien: Thanks buddy. Hey guys I hope you enjoyed today’s episode of The Captain’s Log. I had a good time with Tim Aten was our guest. And he’s the man from In The Know. I learned a lotta good stuff. What’s coming on the market place here in Naples, Florida. And don’t forget, if you get thirsty, certainly just go and get Captain Brien Vodka or Rum because that’s one of sponsors. And of course I own the company, so, you might like that. Captain Brien. C-A-P-T-A-I-N-B-R-I-E-N.com. Check it out. We got some good gear too, some cool merch, if you wanna buy that. And we’ll back at you tomorrow with The Captain’s Log. Thanks for tuning in, peace.

Episode 202 The Captains Log with The Tennessee Tramp Janet Williams and Captain Brien!

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Comedian Janet Williams joins the fun! She’s here to have a good time and not afraid to let us know how it is!

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info. 

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!

Check out Janet Williams and show her some love at:

 

PODCAST RECAP

Miss something on one of our episodes of the #naplescaptainslog? Don’t worry we got you covered! Here you will find a full transcript from this episode of the #naplescaptainslog!

Captain Brien: Live on the Captain’s Log how are you? This is episode two of The Captain’s Log with Janet Williams I have a real live tramp in the car.

Janet Williams: Yes you do. You’ve probably had more they just didn’t call themselves tramps.

Captain Brien: They didn’t refer to it specifically like that. Put your seatbelt on this is going to be a dangerous ride.

Janet Williams: I know it is. I’m with The Captain.

Captain Brien: Welcome aboard this is The Captain’s Log. I appreciate you guys tuning in. If you hang on we’re going to give away some tickets to see you tonight at Off The Hook comedy club how great is that?

Janet Williams: Hey that’s great because I have a lot if advice for every single age.

Captain Brien: You do?

Janet Williams: Yes I do.

Captain Brien: And you travel all around so you have some good stories.

Janet Williams: Oh I have great stories and if I don’t have great stories ill make it up.

Captain Brien: That’s a riot. So how did– I don’t even know if I know how you got The Tramp name.

Janet Williams: Okay I got all my husbands together in one meeting room and that’s the name that they came up with. Others could not be used on the air, but that’s the one that stuck.

Captain Brien: That one you figured at least it’s universal.

Janet Williams: Yes. And I’m not going to tell you how many husbands there were.

Captain Brien: There was at least one.

Janet Williams: Well there’s more than one and I love wedding cake I didn’t realize you could order a wedding cake without getting married. So once I realized that I quit getting married.

Captain Brien: Yeah you stopped.

Janet Williams: Yeah I’ll just get a cake.

Captain Brien: That’s good now what’s your favorite flavor?

Janet Williams: I like almond cake with cream cheese icing, but that I’m here this week let me tell you, I love the carrot cake it off the hook.

Captain Brien: Yeah it’s good.

Janet Williams: It’s the best it is the best.

Captain Brien: It is good I like it myself.

Janet Williams: And I know what is good to eat and what’s not good to eat.

Captain Brien: Well how do you explain that?

Janet Williams: Well if it’s really not good to eat it’s not good for you it doesn’t taste well.

Captain Brien: Yeah so wait the things that always are good to eat are usually not good for you.

Janet Williams: Right.

Captain Brien: Is that what you’re saying?

Janet Williams:  Right that’s what I’m saying, but if its a really good artery-clogger…

Captain Brien: Then they’re usually delicious.

Janet Williams: Delicious no doubt.

Captain Brien: Like a fried Oreo damn those are good.

Janet Williams: Oh I’ve never had one.

Captain Brien: You’ve never had a fried Oreo?

Janet Williams: No.

Captain Brien: Wait you’re from Tennessee!

Janet Williams: I know hey we do not fry everything in Tennessee.

Captain Brien: You barbecue or fry it, I don’t think you have other options.

Janet Williams: We barbecue or fry it that’s true. We just eat unusual things like, I bet you’ve never had a barbecued possum.

Captain Brien: No wait can you eat possum?

Janet Williams: You can.

Captain Brien: I thought you’d get like–

Janet Williams: Its roadkill. If its happened within ten minutes that meat’s still good.

Captain Brien: Really?

Janet Williams: I have no idea what I’m talking about.

Captain Brien: I thought you can’t eat possum they give you that disease.

Janet Williams: What disease?

Captain Brien: Oh that’s an armadillo that’s an armadillo.

Janet Williams: Oh you wouldn’t want an armadillo.

Captain Brien: Yeah you can’t eat armadillo it kills you, kill you.

Janet Williams: Yes yes yeah. Like that fish that you order, you have to sign off that.

Captain Brien: Oh the puffer the blowfish?

Janet Williams: Yeah you have to sign off to eat it.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Janet Williams: I’m not signing off on anything.

Captain Brien: I’m not signing nothing I have kids. I gotta take care of them. “What happened to Dad? He ate too much.”

Janet Williams: If I had kids I’d be eating that by the truckload.

Captain Brien: You would cast net ’em all day.

Janet Williams: I don’t want a contract just bring me tartar sauce.

Captain Brien: Would you fry it or would you just grill it or raw? Right down the hatch the whole thing?

Janet Williams: Fry.

Captain Brien: Yeah?

Janet Williams: Didn’t we just discuss the South? Yeah do you eat biscuits?

Captain Brien: Ooh I love biscuits.

Janet Williams: I make the best biscuits.

Captain Brien: Oh really? Like ten years you’ve been working the club? I get no biscuits none! Not a damn freaking crumb!

Janet Williams: Okay the next time I come biscuits are on the table.

Captain Brien: Okay I’m going to hold you to it.

Janet Williams: No problem.

Captain Brien: I’m going to hold you to it.

Janet Williams: No problem I’m there.

Captain Brien: Biscuits I got no biscuits I get nothing.

Janet Williams: I know!

Captain Brien: No fried chicken no barbecue.

Janet Williams: Oh I make great fried chicken.

Captain Brien: Oh she makes everything great. Everything is great we just can’t taste it.

Janet Williams: Here’s the deal you get a thin girl it’s microwaveable that’s it.

Janet Williams:You get a heavy-set woman we cook, and we cook in iron skillets.

Captain Brien: Oh I like a good iron skillet. I like a cornbread done in my iron skillet. Alright tell me you make the best cornbread too.

Janet Williams: I don’t make the best cornbread but I do make the best biscuits.

Captain Brien: That’s good I’m happy you didn’t tell me that too because everything is the best but I get none of it. It’s really depressing me this is my show.

Janet Williams: And next time I come in we’re gonna have fried chicken and biscuits.

Captain Brien: Okay I’m ready.

Janet Williams: It’s done.

Captain Brien: Wait so I love chicken I love chicken fingers but I say chicken “finga” because I’m from Boston. So I love chicken fingas. I eat them all the time.

Janet Williams: I know.

Captain Brien: And I love but I don’t like just like the Tyson store bought chicken. I like what I call chicken finga but I like the breast fried like regular fried chicken. Sometimes on the bone I’m not a big fan of fried chicken. I’ll eat chicken on the bone no problem but fried chicken sometimes I like just the breast.

Janet Williams: Right and I fry boneless chicken breast.

Captain Brien: Oh you fry the boneless chicken breast, what about like you know what I have not fried? I eat a lot in the Asian restaurants they’ll eat the thigh, that’ll be boneless and that’s dark meat right? So that’s good I should fry that.

Janet Williams: I’m not really I’m not big on dark meat.

Captain Brien: No nothing? No well what are you gonna do?

Captain Brien: We’ll try it we’ll go back to the biscuits what are you gonna tell ’em? What do you want to do?

Janet Williams: Fried chicken and biscuits it doesn’t get any better than that.

Captain Brien: Randy says Mid-west girls cook great, well Randy you haven’t cooked The Tramp hasn’t cooked, I’m sitting here I do all the cooking I do the cooking the talking the feeding the eating.

Janet Williams: And now we’ve got vodka and rum.

Captain Brien: Yeah yeah the drinking.

Captain Brien: I’m doing the work of the Lord I think. I bringing food to the table.

Janet Williams: I’m telling you Jesus sent you.

Captain Brien: Turning water into vodka. It’s not easy I’m doing it though. It’s not easy

Janet Williams: I’ve got this laryngitis thing, and I think your vodka is going to heal me.

Captain Brien: Well I’m going to do the rum too, I think you need a little rum because it’ll be a a little sweeter on you for you. You’re sweet you need a little sweetness in your life.

Janet Williams: Yes yes and as you get older you need sweetness, because old people are angry. And I’ll tell you what not all of them, but they are for good reason

Captain Brien: Yeah what’s that?

Janet Williams: You know it’s I have friends my age and I’m 70 and they’re like, “Can you believe that girl is hanging out of that top with those breast implants? Look how short her skirt is.” They’re saying that because they can’t wear that.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Janet Williams: If I has breast implants I would make Dolly Parton look flat-chested.

Captain Brien: Yeah you would get them.

Janet Williams: I would be touching the dash.

Captain Brien: Would you get big ones?

Janet Williams: Huge huge yeah and I’d want people to stare at me and then I’d go, “You can touch these if you buy me some rum and for Captain Brien.

Captain Brien: Just that’s it that’s all they have to do?

Janet Williams: That’s all that’s it.

Captain Brien: What if a bunch of people what if it’s shots all around?

Janet Williams: Not a problem. I got ’em covered because I got those big knockers.

Captain Brien: Yeah yeah and would you dress them up or would you just?

Janet Williams: Oh no no being touching the dashboard’s dress up enough you know what I mean?

Captain Brien: Yeah that’s good enough to go. Yeah that’s all the entrance they need?

Janet Williams: Right.

Captain Brien: I hear ya I hear ya.

Janet Williams: And I love the young girls that wear all these high heels they’re sparkly you know.

Captain Brien: Bless those girls I love them too.

Captain Brien: Oh I know men love that and I understand why I totally understand why.

Captain Brien: Why?

Janet Williams: Because they’re in heat.

Captain Brien: The men?

Janet Williams: Men are in heat 24/7, and when you meet a woman and she goes, “Oh I love everything about you.” And then you marry her. She wants you to change your socks don’t wear those shoes she likes nothing about you that she loved before the big ring.

Captain Brien: That’s right. What is that?

Janet Williams: We’re bitches.

Captain Brien: Oh. So you all get together and make that pact beforehand?

Janet Williams: Oh no we could never get together because we hate each other. We do this on our own.

Captain Brien: That’s true why is it that women always want to have guy friends but they don’t want to have girl friends?

Janet Williams: Well I’ll tell you what I work–

Captain Brien: When the girls go when the girls go out though then it’s a whole thing.

Janet Williams: Oh yeah you got a cock blocker somewhere.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Janet Williams: Um you know women are their own worst enemies. You know collectively we could rule the world, but we’re so petty about things you know? And I don’t know why we’re like that.

Captain Brien: I don’t either.

Janet Williams: I don’t have any idea but I’ve always worked predominantly in male environments and I love working with men.

Captain Brien: Well I love working with you.

Janet Williams: Well there you go.

Captain Brien: So we’re like a match made in heaven.

Janet Williams: Right and we work well together and we can party together but I’m not someone you want to marry.

Captain Brien: Why?

Janet Williams: Because at this stage in my life I’ve got some of my friends that are marrying again in their middle 70s late 70s, and they go, “Wouldn’t you like to have someone in your life?” No I don’t want to hear nobody breathing next to me I don’t want somebody saying, “Are my khakis clean?” You wore them last I don’t know. You know, “Are you hungry?” Which means they want something to eat. I don’t want to wait on anybody. No one.

Captain Brien: Do you like to cook?

Janet Williams: Love to cook.

Captain Brien: Do you like to clean?

Janet Williams: I love to clean.

Captain Brien: You will be perfect.

Janet Williams: I know.

Captain Brien: You’d be a good catch.

Janet Williams: I would be a good catch but–

Captain Brien: I like to cook but I just don’t I don’t like to clean.

Janet Williams: I love to clean it’s self-gratification.

Captain Brien: Cleaning up after I cook.

Janet Williams: Oh yeah I love that and I love a man that cooks. I think the perfect marriage is a man and a woman that enjoy cooking together so with my last ex-husband I said, “You know Stan I think we need to cook together.” He goes, “Okay.” So we made Chex Mix at Christmas.

Captain Brien: Oh that was talent.

Janet Williams: Have you ever had the police come to your home over making Chex Mix? No it didn’t happen so cooking didn’t bring us any closer.

Captain Brien: No wow so why’d the police come?

Janet Williams: Well you know things got out of hand. You know he just wanted to put too many nuts in it and I want pretzels and we had to have a showdown.

Captain Brien: Yeah just throw down after that. No nuts over pretzels what’s wrong with him?

Janet Williams: I don’t know.

Captain Brien: Pretzels he picked nuts over pretzels? What kind of nuts?

Janet Williams: Peanuts and cashews.

Captain Brien: No way if you told me something like pistachios or something I was thinking like alright maybe maybe he was going somewhere with it but peanuts? That’s like the bottom of the barrel.

Janet Williams: Thank you thank you.

Captain Brien: You don’t just throw peanuts in there. Were they peanut M&Ms?

Janet Williams: No but I love peanut M&Ms.

Captain Brien: You do? What’s your favorite flavor? Which one the yellow?

Janet Williams: Isn’t it the blue one that makes you horny?

Captain Brien: Oh.

Janet Williams: Or is it the red one?

Captain Brien: I don’t know I don’t know holy cow what’s that? That was a bale of hay a whole bale of hay right in the middle of the road.

Janet Williams: You may be from Boston but you know hay.

Captain Brien: I said holy hay.

Janet Williams: And let me tell you I didn’t ever know that you were from Boston, but I knew you weren’t very Southern.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Janet Williams: Yeah you can’t hide that.

Captain Brien: Well I’ve been down here for 20 years so did I lose the accent?

Janet Williams: No you haven’t even come close.

Captain Brien: That’s why I say chicken finga you know it’s not a finger its a finga.

Janet Williams: Right and I always think that I don’t sound that southern. Oh Randy says green and Mark says green, does that the one that makes you horny one the green? I didn’t know this.

Janet Williams: Yeah you gotta get out more.

Captain Brien: Yeah I don’t eat a lot of chocolate.

Janet Williams: Well you’re the work of the Devil.

Captain Brien: You know what they say about chocolate.

Janet Williams: What?

Captain Brien: It gives you the same hormone release as an orgasm so that’s why you never give women chocolate on a date for dessert because then she’s already satisfied.

Janet Williams: Well here’s the thing.

Captain Brien: So why do that?

Janet Williams: I really did not know that but I guess all these orgasms I’ve had are the family pack M&Ms.

Captain Brien: You’re giving away orgasms like it’s like it’s Mardi Gras.

Janet Williams: Right exactly.

Captain Brien: I hear ya I hear ya. You’re not shy about giving ’em out.

Janet Williams: Not in the least not in the least.

Captain Brien: Oh that’s good we got the cops on us, the cops are on us let’s turn the radar down. Not good for the Captain’s Log. We gotta just give it a little back roll.

Janet Williams: Wouldn’t it be great if we were pulled over?

Captain Brien: I keep saying that and here’s my theory, so I have the live on air sign right? It’s lit up no matter what if I get pulled over that sign’s going on, and they’d say, “Sir why do you have a sign on?” “Oh we’re live we’re on my show.” Do you think he’s going to give me a ticket if I do that? I think that’s my ticket out it’s the live on air sign.

Janet Williams: I think the ticket you’re going to get is when I tell him I’m not shutting my mouth until I get a pat down.

Captain Brien: Yeah that would not go well.

Janet Williams: There comes the ticket and you’ve gotta have an attitude about it.

Captain Brien: That could be handcuffs.

Janet Williams: Yes and that’s what I’m hoping for yeah.

Captain Brien: Oh.

Janet Williams: I miss the days of handcuffs.

Captain Brien: That could be fun that could be fun I can see where you’re going with this, and he’s in his little cop uniform. Yeah I’ll video it.

Janet Williams: I’ll let you video it. We’ll put it on a CD and sell it to everybody.

Captain Brien: That’s how we could make our next million.

Janet Williams: Yeah you get a free CD of me being patted down.

Captain Brien: A captain a cop and a tramp took a ride who ends up arrested?

Janet Williams: Right here’s the thing, we make it an attachment to the rum.

Captain Brien: That’s true.

Janet Williams: So not only do you get your fabulous rum you get the CD.

Captain Brien: That’s true.

Janet Williams: You need me on your planning team.

Captain Brien: That’s a giveaway like an extra giveaway.

Janet Williams: People will buy that rum and it will sit on the shelf, they’re going to want to see me patted down and then once they see me they’ll need the rum to get that out of their mind.

Captain Brien: Yeah. They’ll have to drink the whole thing and buy another one.

Janet Williams: You cannot un-see this you can’t un-see it.

Captain Brien: Well anyway guys if you want to see Janet Williams hey I promise him– You made me forget I was supposed to give away tickets. Did you share it?

Janet Williams: I did not.

Captain Brien: We did we screwed up the whole thing.

Janet Williams: Well you know we’re so intense when we’re together.

Captain Brien: Yeah so okay this is how we’re going to give away tickets, guys if you leave a comment below I’m going to post a promotional code that you can use. I’ll reply to every person with a promo code alright? You didn’t share it I forgot to give away the giveaway, this whole show has gone to hell in a hand-basket.

Janet Williams: It has but when you come to the show you’ll redeem yourself.

Captain Brien: Yes yes.

Janet Williams: Because you want to hear what The Tramp’s got to say.

Captain Brien: The Tramp is very funny.

Janet Williams: She is funny.

Captain Brien: She’s hysterical.

Janet Williams: Yeah and she’s a good time.

Captain Brien: Always. And maybe you just sign the breasts? Maybe we’ll let them sign your breasts now.

Janet Williams: Well you pointed here they’re closer to my knees.

Captain Brien: Gotcha. We’ll sign those down there that’s good that’s good. Aright guys leave a comment or share or whatever you want to do I’ll post a promo code you get two free tickets for tonight’s show or Sunday either one. For tonight and Sunday. Janet Williams a.k.a. The Tennessee Tramp, my guest on The Captain’s Log. This is episode two you know episode one, this is season two episode two. Did you know season one took 13 years to finish?

Janet Williams: Really?

Captain Brien: I think that’s a record.

Janet Williams: I think it is too.

Captain Brien: Yeah I think it’s a record.

Janet Williams: But I think two and two this is something special. Something big is going to happen definitely.

Captain Brien: Yeah you could have a baby on this show right now.

Janet Williams: Now that will make me extremely wealthy.

Captain Brien: That would be special that would be very special. Can you do something like lay an egg or something? It’s The Captain’s Log after all.

Janet Williams: If I could lay an egg you know at this point in my life I would eat it. And then you got the abortion people on you. You know so no I have no eggs they’re gone.

Captain Brien: We got nothing we got nothing.

Captain Brien: Well anyway we got you on stage at Off The Hook comedy club in Naples. Thank you so much thank you honey.

Janet Williams: Thank you Captain love you.

Captain Brien: Shake my hand even though I’m driving oh my god, I have another hand for the steering wheel, see I’m okay this one always stays on the shifter.

Janet Williams: Right you’re very safe very safe.

Captain Brien: We’re out guys be good.

Episode 102: The Captain’s Log with Tom Cotter & Captain Brien ready to bring in the New Year!

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Happy New Year! We started our with lots of laughs from Tom Cotter. Also want to thank everyone for supporting and being part of the Captain’s Log! Set those goals and Let’s kick 2019’s butt!

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info. 

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!

Episode 101: The Captain’s Log with Emma Willmann and Captain Brien Blindfolded!

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 32:40 — 44.9MB) | Embed

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On this episode of the #captainslog Captain Brien and the super funny Emma Willmann! See how well Captain Brien can do driving with a blindfold!

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!

Episode 100: The Captain’s Log with special guest Deborah from the Freedom Waters Foundation!

christmas, Comedy, community, Fresh, holiday, Instagram, Live, Prodcasting, Radio, Vlog, Vlogging, , , , , , , , , ,

On the episode of the #captainslog captain Brien always here bringing the community together !

Watch full video here ————>

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!