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S2:E62 Show Me Your Naples!



Comedian Eric Schwartz aka Smooth-E rides along with Captain B as they rap some tunes for the #naplescaptainslog

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PODCAST RECAP

Miss something on one of our episodes of the #naplescaptainslog? Don’t worry we got you covered! Here you will find a full transcript from this episode of the #naplescaptainslog!

Eric Schwartz: ♪ I’m sad ♪ ♪ Drippin’ in a downward spiral ♪ ♪ Need advice ♪ ♪ Hit up TripAdvisor ♪ ♪ Lookin’ for a place to get me out of this mess ♪ ♪ Ooh the happiest place in the whole U.S. ♪ ♪ Southwest Florida ♪ ♪ Is it true? ♪ ♪ The land of the snowboards ♪ ♪ And the white hairdos ♪ ♪ The leaves don’t change ♪ ♪ But the license plates do ♪ ♪ Where they invite reptiles ♪ ♪ Into the swimming pools ♪ ♪ Those crazy golden gaters ♪ ♪ They be wrestling with gators ♪ ♪ If you don’t have a nice car ♪ ♪ You probably ain’t from Naples ♪ ♪ Where they live up to the name ♪ ♪ Of the knee-high acres ♪ ♪ If don’t root for the Pats ♪ ♪ You’re a straight-up traitor ♪ ♪ Where they release pets to the Everglades ♪ ♪ And they have bunch of chupacabras and skunk apes ♪ ♪ I’m hype with the trip ♪ ♪ But I gotta ask the people ♪ ♪ If I do make the visit ♪ ♪ You gotta show me your Naples ♪ ♪ Show me your Naples ♪ ♪ Where 69 degrees means it’s winter season ♪ ♪ Show me your Naples ♪ ♪ Up in Immokalee they got the orange juice squeezin’ ♪ ♪ Show me your Naples ♪ ♪ Fort Myers is lovely but also kinda foggy ♪ ♪ Show me your Naples ♪ ♪ They act all boujee ’til they hit the clubs ♪ ♪ But they got a lot of sea shells ♪ ♪ Even more golf courses ♪ ♪ Keeping them exclusive security forces ♪ ♪ Got kicked off the fairway ♪ ♪ Wasn’t fair ♪ ♪ They were like sir ♪ ♪ This is a cemetery ♪ ♪ Oops my bad ♪ ♪ They’re both green lawns ♪ ♪ One’s eighteen holes ♪ ♪ One’s a whole four one ♪ ♪ But now my golf cart’s dead ♪ ♪ Do you have jumper cables? ♪ ♪ And while you’re at it ♪ ♪ Why don’t you show me your Naples ♪ ♪ Show me your Naples ♪ ♪ Fort Misery Nap ♪ ♪ Down the cape in the rock ♪ ♪ Show me your Naples ♪ ♪ Got the beaches on fleek ♪ ♪ Grandparents on lock ♪ ♪ Show me your Naples ♪ ♪ Giving that shine ♪ ♪ To the two three nine ♪ ♪ Show me your Naples ♪ ♪ Show me yours ♪ ♪ I’ll show you mine ♪ ♪ Oh you know it’s on ♪ ♪ We got Brian Spina on the Captain’s Log ♪ ♪ Stop drop and laugh ♪ ♪ That’s how we do it in the present ♪ ♪ Never the past ♪ ♪ We goin’ to the future ♪ ♪ Right now ♪ ♪ We got y’all tunin’ in ♪ ♪ And how are you doin’ today ♪ ♪ It’s a nice day ♪ ♪ It’s a Thursday ♪ ♪ Oo-Wee hey ♪

Captain Brien: Now that’s a frickin’ intro, dude.

Eric Schwartz: That’s how we do it.

Captain Brien: I need that every time. Welcome to the Captain’s Log, guys. Eric Schwartz is live,

Eric Schwartz: What’s up, dude?

Captain Brien: What’s up, buddy.

Eric Schwartz: Two hands on the wheel.

Captain Brien: Love it. I know, I know, look, I’m gonna turn on auto-drive, so we’re good.

Captain Brien: We’re gonna be half-driving auto.

Eric Schwartz: You have a self-driving car already?

Captain Brien: A little bit-

Eric Schwartz: Already?

Captain Brien: A little bit.

Eric Schwartz: Already?

Captain Brien:It’ll do halfway.

Eric Schwartz: This is the biggest multitasker on the internet. He’s running a comedy club, he’s going live, he’s taking the comedian to radio, and he’s driving.

Captain Brien: They’re gonna have to pay attention to the road.

Eric Schwartz: Yeah, and driving a coffee.

Captain Brien: And drink.

Eric Schwartz: Yeah, and drink. I feel secure in this guy’s hands because I’ve watched him on the Captain’s Log, we were having a conversation on the way up here, and I went like this, I went like this: “Are we on the air right now?”

Captain Brien: It wasn’t live, it wasn’t.

Eric Schwartz: It wasn’t live, so I dropped my f-bombs.

Captain Brien: You keep it smooth though.

Eric Schwartz: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Captain Brien: So we were just talking about this, you literally haven’t, this is the first appearance-

Eric Schwartz: On the Captain’s Log, yes.

Captain Brien: On the show, and we’ve been working together for, what?

Eric Schwartz: I think I was maybe in your first year you ever did comedy.

Captain Brien: Yeah, so like 14 years we’ve been together.

Eric Schwartz: Yeah, when you were in Marco Island. Fourteen years? Has it been fourteen years? Dude, we’re getting old.

Eric Schwartz: What?

Captain Brien: We’re getting old.

Eric Schwartz: Oh my god.

Captain Brien: Yeah, it’s been a while. Hey Kelsey, what’s up? Hey Mary, how’re you guys doing? Thank you for watching. Eric Schwartz is our guest. Tell them how they can find you on Instagram and Facebook, because you post amazing content, you’re a multi-medium.

Eric Schwartz: Multi-comedian.

Captain Brien: Oh, I got it wrong.

Eric Schwartz: No, it’s okay.

Captain Brien: It’s something you made up, ’cause that’s not in the English Dictionary.

Eric Schwartz: No, not yet, not yet.

Captain Brien: Yeah, it’s coming.

Eric Schwartz: Yeah, but multi-media meets comedy, that’s the show that I’m doing at the moment, it’s a really fun show, music, as you just saw, visuals, as you will see in the future, and stand-up comedy. At the base it’s stand-up comedy, and then it bridges off into all these cool fun things. But you can find me on Instagram, @eeericschwartz, with three e’s, e-e-e-r-i-c s-c-h-w-a-r-t-z-

Captain Brien: So fun to watch, guys, always doing something creative, something original. How’d you get into comedy?

Eric Schwartz: I started, actually, on the pool deck with my swim buddies, and I loved SNL, I loved stand-up, and I would recite other peoples’ material to my friends in high school, and they were like, “You’re funny, you should be a comedian,” and I never really took it seriously, I was like “I don’t have any of my own material”, and I started writing stuff down, and when I got to college, I’ve always been like a self-starter, so I would put on my own shows in the dorms, and I did a-

Captain Brien: I always threw my own parties, too,

Eric Schwartz: Did you?

Captain Brien: So maybe that’s why I do the comedy club thing, ’cause I’m still having a party every weekend.

Eric Schwartz: It’s kind of an extension of your high school self.

Captain Brien: It is.

Eric Schwartz: Except now, your parents can come home, you’ll be fine. I saw your parents last night at the club.

Captain Brien: They’re awesome, they’re there every night, they never not laugh.

Eric Schwartz: They’re awesome.

Captain Brien: They love every joke, even if they see it 10 times.

Eric Schwartz: I would come here, honestly, I would come here even if I weren’t performing for your restaurant.

Captain Brien: Thanks, man.

Eric Schwartz: It is so-

Captain Brien: I appreciate that.

Eric Schwartz: Because your mom’s key lime pie?

Captain Brien: The best.

Eric Schwartz: Dude, can I send one of those home?

Captain Brien: You can .

Eric Schwartz: Can I really?

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Captain Brien: For real? Yeah, we’re good, I’ll send you home with some key lime pie, some vodka, some rum, you’ll be Captain Brian all around.

Eric Schwartz: I talk about it so much, my girlfriend, sorry ladies, my girlfriend-

Captain Brien: Yeah, he’s taken, ladies.

Eric Schwartz: I felt-

Captain Brien: Damn! Talk about a buzzkill on the Log, bro.

Eric Schwartz: I’m sorry, dude.

Captain Brien: That’s horrible.

Eric Schwartz: I just- She likes when I talk about her now because it was getting crazy.

Captain Brien: Too much.

Eric Schwartz: It was too much.

Captain Brien: They want the baldness.

Eric Schwartz: Is that what it is?

Eric Schwartz: Yeah, this is, I mean, people do want to touch this, you know? They want this in their lives, and-

Captain Brien: All up in their lives.

Eric Schwartz: But to be honest, you don’t know, as a bald guy, you don’t have a problem-

Captain Brien: I’m getting there, I could be close. I’m trying to save it, though, I’ve been doing all kinds of stuff.

Eric Schwartz: Really?

Captain Brien: Yeah, I did the injections, the PRP, where they take the white blood cells out of your blood, and they put it back in.

Eric Schwartz: Really?

Captain Brien: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m doing it, man.

Eric Schwartz: Wow, stem cells and the like, is that what that is?

Captain Brien: Well, it’s the PRP, it’s the white blood cells, yes, of your blood, which is the healing power, and it’s like magic for everything.

Eric Schwartz: Oh my god!

Captain Brien: We can do everything these days.

Eric Schwartz: Can they put them in your eyes?

Captain Brien: They put them in literally your joints, they put them in your junk, anywhere they put ’em, it helps it.

Eric Schwartz: Oh my, wow!

Captain Brien: Yeah, yeah.

Eric Schwartz: These are sealed over, though, there’s no coming back.

Captain Brien: Yeah, that’s waxed.

Eric Schwartz: Yeah, this is waxed, this is like if you’ve laminated paper, there’s no way you can get it out. But, I mean, people want to touch it all the time, and I know that you feel like it has magical powers or something, it doesn’t, like you’re not gonna feel it and be like “I felt a kick!”

Captain Brien: Nah, it’s not like a baby.

Eric Schwartz: It’s not like a baby.

Captain Brien: It looks so smooth, though!

Eric Schwartz: It does, it does, it looks smooth, it is smooth-

Captain Brien: I wouldn’t look as good-

Eric Schwartz: I just shaved it.

Captain Brien: As you, though, if I shaved, if I went bald, there’s no way I could pull it off, I don’t think, so I’m worried.

Eric Schwartz: You’d be fine! You’d be fine. As long as you don’t have a pug handle-

Captain Brien: Yeah, I don’t, I don’t have that. Do they get that from, is that like a muscle, fat, or just inherited?

Eric Schwartz: I don’t know, it’s just-

Captain Brien: I don’t have that.

Eric Schwartz: Sometimes, yeah, people just get like a pug pattern.

Captain Brien: What if they have a couple? Like it’s kind of cute to look at a couple.

Eric Schwartz: It is.

Captain Brien: A couple rolls in the back?

Eric Schwartz: I feel like I wanna take those guys and pick them up by the back of their necks.

Captain Brien: But they’re usually kind of big dudes.

Eric Schwartz: Yeah, they are.

Captain Brien: You never see a little dude with a bunch of little-

Eric Schwartz: You really don’t. Like Brad Williams? That’s be cute.

Captain Brien: We love Brad.

Eric Schwartz: Shoutout to Brad.

Captain Brien: Didn’t we do a show with Brad here with you or no?

Eric Schwartz: I don’t know, we used to do a lot of shows together, like in LA, the format is a little different with standup, where you do what’s called showcase style, and it’s like a bunch of people on a show, and we used to do a ton of shows together, and always really funny, and then his first special, I was doing interviews, it was at a comedy festival, and if you look at his first special, I think I’m in the intro interviewing him.

Captain Brien: Oh really?

Eric Schwartz: Like for a second.

Captain Brien: That’s awesome, that’s like your big credit?

Eric Schwartz: Yeah, that’s my credit.

Captain Brien: That’s your cred, dog, street cred.

Eric Schwartz: That’s my cred.

Captain Brien: You got another song you wanna play for me?

Eric Schwartz: Yeah, let’s do it.

Captain Brien: This guy can sing, he can dance, he can rap, he can give you tech support.

Eric Schwartz: That’s true.

Captain Brien: Right?

Eric Schwartz: I represent for the underrepresented.

Captain Brien: It’s what it is.

Eric Schwartz: I feel that myself, and there’s a lot of hip-hop that I love, but it doesn’t represent everybody, like every song you hear about women is always about women with big butts, which is great-

Captain Brien: I cannot lie.

Eric Schwartz: I can’t lie, right? My anaconda don’t want none unless you got buns, hon.

Captain Brien: Hey, Mandy, Jose, what’s happening? So before you start the song, I want to tell you that, one, I think you’re my sister’s and my niece’s favorite comic.

Eric Schwartz: Serious?

Captain Brien: Yeah, my sister, Charlene, and my niece Ariana, they were texting me this morning, “Oh my god, Eric’s in town! “That’s so great! “When is he coming back?”, they told me-

Eric Schwartz: Already?

Captain Brien: Your number one fans,

Eric Schwartz: Okay.

Captain Brien: No, before I bought you in.

Captain Brien: Number one fans, they actually fanboy on you, and they made me bring you back.

Eric Schwartz: Nice!

Captain Brien: Not that I wasn’t gonna, but they were begging, like, “When is he coming back? “We have to have him.” They love the songs, so hit me with a beat.

Eric Schwartz: Okay, so this one is for all the girls that don’t have the big butts, okay? You’re a flat booty girl in a fat booty world, this one is for you. ♪ Flat booty girl in a fat booty world ♪ ♪ She’s a flat booty girl in a fat booty world ♪ I learned this dance right here from 2 Chainz, you know 2 Chainz?

Captain Brien: Yeah, that’s how it is?

Eric Schwartz: Yeah. ♪ No tushy ♪ ♪ No booty ♪ ♪ No buttocks ♪ ♪ No bottom ♪ ♪ Flat like an iPad ♪ ♪ Apple bottom ♪ ♪ Don’t get me wrong ♪ ♪ I love ’em big and round ♪ ♪ But when she droppin’ low ♪ ♪ She got the same curves as the ground ♪ ♪ Sometimes I get tired ♪ ♪ That girl sat on my jacket ♪ ♪ It came out ironed ♪ ♪ She save a lot of space ♪ ♪ Without the big ol’ booty ♪ ♪ Her butt fits in a cup holder at the movies ♪ ♪ She got a shinin’ like a tiny diamond ♪ ♪ Took as long to find it ♪ ♪ As it took to find Bin Laden ♪ ♪ She got me reaching for the bee sting ♪ ♪ Makin’ g-strings out of tea string ♪ ♪ She makin’ skinny jeans baggy ♪ ♪ Lady where that ass be ♪ ♪ Makin’ Paris Hilton ♪ ♪ Look like Kim Kardashi ♪ ♪ And when she bent over for a spanking ♪ ♪ I thought she was blanking ♪ ♪ ‘Cause she’s a flat booty girl ♪ ♪ In a fat booty world ♪ ♪ Flat booty girl ♪ ♪ In a fat booty world ♪ ♪ Jew Chainz ♪ That’s me, Jew Chainz, all right.

Captain Brien: That’s a good jam.

Eric Schwartz: Thanks, it’s for everybody. ♪ I’m talkin’ white girls ♪ ♪ Black girls ♪ ♪ Especially my Asians ♪ ♪ Bring that flat booty to ♪

Captain Brien: I like this.

Eric Schwartz: ♪ This caucasian ♪ ♪ Latin girls with no curves ♪ ♪ Mommy let me see your ♪ ♪ Damila ♪ ♪ Damila ♪ ♪ Damilas tortillas ♪ ♪ Middle Eastern girls ♪ ♪ If your figure ain’t the fullest ♪ ♪ Bring me the pita ♪ ♪ I got the hummus ♪ ♪ All around the world ♪ ♪ We’re making it flatter ♪ ♪ You got the pancakes ♪ ♪ I got the batter ♪ ♪ Flat booty girl ♪ ♪ In a fat booty world ♪ That’s for all y’all.

Captain Brien: That’s right.

Eric Schwartz: Out there.

Captain Brien: Any booty’s a good booty.

Eric Schwartz: Any booty’s a good booty.

Captain Brien: I don’t have to hate on a booty if it’s not big. I’m not a big booty guy.

Eric Schwartz: You’re not?

Captain Brien: No, no.

Eric Schwartz: Too much butt?

Captain Brien: Too much butt is too much for me.

Eric Schwartz: Too much for you, I like all kinds of booty. If you have a big butt, don’t think that I don’t like you.

Captain Brien: Yeah, I mean I like big butts, and I cannot lie.

Eric Schwartz: Don’t lie.

Captain Brien: A small butt’s still good, like I’m not gonna hate on a little booty.

Eric Schwartz: It’s what’s inside the butt- oh no, that doesn’t really make sense.

Captain Brien: No, it’s not .

Eric Schwartz: Not really.

Captain Brien: April, what’s what’s goin’ on? Mandy, thank you for watching. Smooth E, AKA Eric Schwartz, Off the Hook Comedy Club this weekend, he’s on the Captain’s Log right now, guys, let us know where you’re watching from, your favorite comedian-rapper ever, I know. So do you write these lyrics all the time?

Captain Brien: What do you do?

Eric Schwartz: Yes, so, like, for example, the Naples song that I did-

Captain Brien: You were like “Yo, B, “I’m gonna write a-” I don’t know if you really said “Yo, B-”

Eric Schwartz: Yeah, I did.

Captain Brien: You did? I tried to make that sound cool.

Eric Schwartz: When you said it-

Captain Brien: You were like, “Hey, I wanna write a song about Naples “and what should I say?”, and I gave you a couple hints, and then you, dude, you blew it up, you ran with it. You showed everyone your Naples.

Eric Schwartz: I just showed my Naples. I just showed my Naples. So I research it, like I ask people who live in the city, I’ve done probably about a dozen of these songs about places-

Captain Brien: It’s a great date, too.

Eric Schwartz: Thank you.

Captain Brien: I’m one to promote, but then everyone wants to get behind it, because you’re talking about their town!

Eric Schwartz: That’s what I want,

Captain Brien: Genius!

Eric Schwartz: Thank you, I wanna show love for the places that I’m performing, and, you know, ingratiate myself into your graces, and I really do hope that you like it and I can represent it, and I wanna get those things that only people that live there would know, you know? That’s why I do research on the internet, but then I also ask people that live there what is the gist of the town, you know?

Captain Brien: I got people watching right now from Palm Springs, Cali-

Eric Schwartz: Wow, I live near there.

Captain Brien: Homer, New York, right? Mandy’s watching, let’s see-

Eric Schwartz: San Diego, cool!

Captain Brien: Aaron’s in San Diego. And yeah, guys, what’s happening, thanks for watching, we’re in Naples, Florida. This ain’t a bad place to live though, huh?

Eric Schwartz: No, it’s great, I love it. I was in San Diego, I was just in San Diego, I flew to visit my mom and my stepfather in Mexico-

Captain Brien: What part of Mexico?

Eric Schwartz: They live in a city called San Miguel De Allende.

Captain Brien: I was gonna say that,

Eric Schwartz: You were gonna say that?

Captain Brien: That was my first guess.

Eric Schwartz: Yeah, after Cancun? But it’s in the middle of the country in a state called Guanajuato.

Captain Brien: Oh, wow. Do they have good tapatio?

Eric Schwartz: Oh man, they got better than tapatio, they’ve got- the salsa there, I didn’t care what my stomach said, I just kept eating the salsa.

Captain Brien: Really?

Eric Schwartz: It was delicious, yeah.

Captain Brien: The tomatoes, they’re raised in Immokalee, right here in Immokalee, Florida, I wonder if they’re shipped to Mexico to make all those beautiful salsas.

Eric Schwartz: I think they might have tomatoes down there.

Captain Brien: They got their own tomatoes.

Eric Schwartz: They might have their own tomatoes down there.

Captain Brien: That’s probably the only other place that literally competes with Immokalee. You know that most of the tomatoes in the whole world come from there?

Eric Schwartz: Really?

Captain Brien: As well as oranges.

Eric Schwartz: Like romas?

Captain Brien: No, we do, I forget which ones we grow, exactly, but you guys can tell us, maybe, which ones we grow here in Immokalee, but we grow juicing oranges, and as the smog covers the road , I don’t know what just happened.

Eric Schwartz: There’s a truck that’s vaping.

Captain Brien: Like vaping on fire, obviously. But we grow juicing oranges, and we grow tomatoes.

Eric Schwartz: Cool.

Captain Brien: Like, for the whole world.

Eric Schwartz: I feel like I want Immokalee to grow broccoli, just for the rhyme. That’s the rhyme nerd in me.

Captain Brien: That would be great, yeah. That would be great, it really would.

Eric Schwartz: So I speak Spanish, and when I went down there, it was like I thought I spoke Spanish-

Captain Brien: Did you grow up speaking Spanish in your house?

Eric Schwartz: A little bit, but you know, just basic stuff, but I studied it in school, and then I learned the cultural stuff from my stepdad, and now I have this series called “Cultura”-

Captain Brien: Right, which is awesome.

Eric Schwartz: Aw, thanks, man.

Captain Brien: And dude, so I was just thinking you were just really smart and a really good actor, but now it’s like in the family. I can’t give you all the props but that is so funny when you do the mariachi and stuff.

Eric Schwartz: Oh, you saw the mariachi?

Captain Brien: Yeah, dude, great!

Eric Schwartz: So I have this video where I sing mariachi in a Mexican restaurant karaoke night, and I do this really tongue-twistery song, I’ll do a little sample of it, it’s called “El aventurero”:

Captain Brien: When you went off in the restaurant with that song, people were like “This dude really knows it?”

Eric Schwartz: They were like “What?” So the first time I heard that song was where my mom lives, in San Miguel de Allende-

Captain Brien: And how did you learn that song?

Eric Schwartz: I heard it, I’m like “That sounds really hard. “That sounds hard to sing. “I’m gonna learn it.” And I just-

Captain Brien: That is the nerd in you.

Eric Schwartz: Repetition, repetition, when I’m driving around, I’ll be playing songs in my car, and I try to do it, so here’s my method, I have one, I call it “training wheels”, okay, where it’s like the song with the lyrics on it, like for example, I’ll do it for you right now.

Captain Brien: Okay, let’s go.

Eric Schwartz: Here’s “Show Me Your Naples” here’s my training wheels song, ready?

Captain Brien: Here we go, we’re bringing it home.

Eric Schwartz:♪ Dripping in a downward spiral ♪ ♪ I need advice, hit up TripAdvisor ♪ See, it has the words on it, training wheels. ♪ Happiest place in the whole U.S. ♪ And then eventually, I’m like this: ♪ I’m sad, dripping in a downward spiral ♪ ♪ I need advice ♪ Instrumental! ♪ TripAdvisor ♪ ♪ Lookin’ for a place to get me out of this mess ♪ ♪ Southwest Florida ♪ ♪ Southwest Florida ♪ ♪ Southwest Florida, is it true ♪

Captain Brien: When the beat drops.

Eric Schwartz:♪ The land of the surfers ♪ ♪ And the white hairdos ♪ ♪ The leaves don’t change ♪ ♪ But the license plates do ♪ ♪ Where they invite reptiles into the swimming pools ♪ ♪ Oh those crazy golden gaters ♪ ♪ They be wrestling with gators ♪ Et cetera.

Captain Brien: Dude, it’s just so dope! If I could rap or sing or play an instrument, I would just go around rapping everywhere. I would just be like “Ah, there’s Captain B, he’s rapping again.”

Eric Schwartz: I’m not using my powers like I should.

Captain Brien: You should, you should.

Eric Schwartz: ♪ From now on, it’s on. ♪ ♪ It’s like a sauna ♪ ♪ And I’m just gonna ♪ ♪ Rap every word I can ♪ ♪ Everywhere I slam ♪ ♪ Everywhere I am ♪ ♪ Bam ♪

Captain Brien: I would just be like spittin’ lyrics everywhere, dude. It would be off.

Eric Schwartz: It would be off.

Captain Brien: Then it wouldn’t be fair to the other dudes-

Eric Schwartz: It really wouldn’t.

Captain Brien: It’d be like, “Aw, Captain B’s rapping again”.

Eric Schwartz: “Why is the Captain rappin’?”

Eric Schwartz: Yeah, yeah, you know. ♪ The rappin’ cap’n ♪ ♪ The rappin’ cap’n ♪ ♪ The rappin’ cap’n ♪

Captain Brien: All right, guys, we’re gonna wrap this up, speaking of rapping.

Eric Schwartz: All right.

Captain Brien: We’re gonna be on B1039, Big Momma and the Wild Bunch-

Eric Schwartz: Oh, all up in my own-

Captain Brien: Getting us on right now, You forgot he was in town this weekend, Lindsey, hello, don’t you dare forget about Smooth E, nobody forgets Smooth E.

Eric Schwartz: Nobody forgets, Lindsey.

Captain Brien: God.

Eric Schwartz: Monastery.

Captain Brien: The baldness is just life-changing.

Eric Schwartz: I tried to an impression of Big Mama, and it really hurt my voice.

Captain Brien: Did it?

Eric Schwartz: I went like this: “Hey, it’s Big Mama and the Wild Bunch.” Right?

Captain Brien: And then you had to wet your whistle?

Eric Schwartz: And I was like “Aw man, I can’t hack that.”

Captain Brien: Hey guys, this is the Captain’s Log, we are gonna go live right now on B1039, we just left 1055 The Beat, and I’m happy to have our comedian Eric Schwartz performing live all weekend, Off the Hook Comedy Club, get your tickets at offthehookcomedy.com, but more importantly, my buddy now, I appreciate being a friend of yours-

Eric Schwartz: Dude, likewise.

Captain Brien: It’s been a long time now, and I thank you for always being there.

Eric Schwartz: Thank you.

Captain Brien: Keep the funny going, man.

Eric Schwartz: I love the show, thanks for having me on.

Captain Brien: We’re in, we’re out, we’re done.


S2:E61 Power Up Those Brain Waves!



Dr. Daller is back on the #naplescaptainslog dropping that knowledge on how to power up your brain waves and what you can be doing to prevent Alzheimer’s!

Dr. Daller will be joining Captain Brien EVERY Tuesday at 2:30 on the Captains Log to answer any questions you may have! Make sure you tune in and comment with your questions!

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Watch Full Video —————> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZt2A0V91q0

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #naplescaptainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free and Gluten Free Vodka, Barrel Aged Dark Rum, White Rum, and Gin!

Check Dr. Daller out and show him some love at:

PODCAST RECAP

Miss something on one of our episodes of the #naplescaptainslog? Don’t worry we got you covered! Here you will find a full transcript from this episode of the #naplescaptainslog!

Captain Brien: Dr.Dollar’s back with me today on the Captain’s Log we are going to train our brain. Let’s eat a healthy lifestyle, it’s gonna affect all of our brain waves and make it better, yes?

Dr. Daller: Absolutely.

Captain Brien: Did I even get that right or did I even say it right?

Dr. Daller: I’m not sure what you said–

Captain Brien: I’ve gotta get my own brain right.

Dr. Daller: And we’ll talk about that. What can you do to improve, you know Captain Brian, dementia, cognitive disfunction, Alzheimer’s disease. Everybody know somebody in their family that has that issue

Captain Brien: Yes.

Dr. Daller: And our goal is what can we do to delay that, what can we do to prevent that, the same as we talked the other day about diabetes. What can we do about prevention of Alzheimer’s. We know that there is no pill in the world, there’s no Aricept. When everybody’s talking about Aricept Aricept really doesn’t work. As a matter of fact, in my opinion and the research that I read about Aricept.

Captain Brien: But what about kingdogloben right, kingo?

Dr. Daller: Ginkgo biloba

Captain Brien: Yeah ginkgo biloba, see?

Dr. Daller: So again, let’s put a disclaimer in the front. There is not a single supplement, a single supplement by itself that will improve your cognition. Your ability to help that memory and everything else. And today we’ll talk about how simply, without spending much money doing it all at Whole Foods, Publix, Fresh Market or wherever you go shopping at the local stores. What can you eat? What king of exercise can you do? What kind of sleep do you, how much sleep do you need? What kind of social support? What kind of games and exercises and other things for your brain to improve that that you are not going to end up one of these people that are going to have Alzheimer’s or dementia. So again Captain Brian, Alzheimer’s by the year 2050 is going to be an epidemic in the Western world a significant amount of people have Alzheimer’s, Dementia, even early cognitive dysfunction. That you start forgetting names of people, you start forgetting where you put your keys, you start forgetting certain words. That you’re saying, “What is that, how do you say that” and you forget that and all this stuff has to do–

Captain Brien: It starts with dementia.

Dr. Daller: It starts with cognition, it starts with simple memory of simple words that you start forgetting. And later on it will develop to dementia and you can develop even Alzheimer’s. So you know we learned, when I was in medical school we said you know your brain stopped developing when you were 18 and after that your brain start deteriorating. And by the time your 85 your brain is like shriveled and there’s nothing there. And we learned that that’s wrong. That’s absolutely not true. Your brain does not stop growing. Your brain as a matter of fact when you exercise–

Captain Brien: It’s a muscle, correct?

Dr. Daller: No your brain as a matter of fact if you take your entire brain, 99% of your brain is made out of fat.

Captain Brien: Okay.

Dr. Daller: It’s all fat. So we’re going to talk today in this podcast how much fat, how fat is important. And we’re going to talk about cholesterol and good fat, omega 3 and all this stuff how important they are for our diet. And again we’re going to go back to sugar, how sugar, refined sugar specifically is really bad for you. So again, going back to exercise, and going back to the fact that your brain is growing, there is a part in your brain, two parts like this. It’s called hippocampus. Hippocampus from the Greek word “Hippos” meaning horse, and “Kampos” meaning–

Captain Brien: Yes

Dr. Daller: so hippocampus, so it looks like a sea horse in your brain you have two parts, right here. These are the temporal lobe, behind the temporal lobe–

Captain Brien: Is that the part that makes you horny too?

Dr. Daller: No, that’s not the part that makes you horny.

Captain Brien: What part is that?

Dr. Daller: I’ll talk that’s a different podcast Captain Brian I mean put a suspense for the audience.

Captain Brien: Okay okay.

Dr. Daller: That’s a different part.

Captain Brien: We’ll get back to the horny brain later.

Dr. Daller: Yes, hippocampus makes you remember when you are horny. So it has to do a lot with memory. So the hippocampus, we know that if you exercise and they did study on that, several studies on that when people exercise, improved blood flow to the hippocampus the hippocampus does grow in size.

Captain Brien: And this is from traditional exercising?

Dr. Daller: So, very good question. What kind of exercise? You need to break a sweat, you need your heart rate to go up. So you cannot go and lift weights. I lift weights but its not enough. You need to do high intensity. If you do lifting weight, your heart rate has to be high

Captain Brien: What’s my heart rate have to get to?

Dr. Daller: Good question, so you take 180 minus your age. And you’re about 25? How old are you now? 22?

Captain Brien: Exactly.

Dr. Daller: So 180 minus your age, that’s your heart rate that you have to keep for at least 30 minutes.

Captain Brien: Really?

Dr. Daller: Yes, minimum of 30 minutes. You have to keep that heart rate. So you know, 120, 130, 140 in that rage for you to break a good sweat to start–

Captain Brien: And keep it there for 30 minutes?

Dr. Daller: And keep it there for 30 minutes. And people do that. I’ve done it for an hour. I kept my heart rate at that level for one hour. I’ve kept it at 150 as a matter of fact for one hour. Because I’m younger than you are.

Captain Brien: That’s right .

Dr. Daller: That’s right.

Captain Brien: That’s right.

Dr. Daller: So again we talked about exercises, and again a lot of people, this is, the key Captain Brian that this is a preventable disease like diabetes, type 2 diabetes is a preventable disease

Captain Brien: It’s 100% preventable?

Dr. Daller: Well I wouldn’t say 100%. You know it’s like playing poker. You got some cards, you got some genes. So some people get the genes for Alzheimer’s There’s a certain gene, on certain alele in your chromosomes that has to do with Alzheimer’s. But having that gene it’s not a death sentence. It doesn’t mean you develop Alzheimer’s. You can alter those genes. You can improve things, you can, you know, your body is like a very expensive European car. And what you put in it, if you put 87 octane verses 97 octane it will run differently. So you cannot, there are two ways. One, to take 97 octane. Number two, is not to do bad things to that body. Not to destroy it. So not only to do the right thing, also to avoid the bad things. And that’s Segway here to–

Captain Brien: So physical activity,

Dr. Daller: Physical activity number one.

Captain Brien: The food we eat. Give me a couple of foods I’m gonna ask you one question real quick.

Dr. Daller: Absolutely.

Captain Brien: Give me some foods that I need to eat

Dr. Daller: Blueberries.

Captain Brien: Blueberries are great. They’re good for everything.

Dr. Daller: They are good for everything. Again, people ask me, “How do you know what’s good for you?” when you go to the supermarket. Whatever supermarket you pick, open your eyes and say what you are attracted to, what color you are attracted to The more colorful the fruits are the more colorful the vegetables are the better off you are. So they’re the same as when you go to the supermarket and you buy fish and you look “Wow, this salmon looks good,” or “this tuna looks good.” Because you look at the color, you look at the shape. You look at everything, the same with fruit. You smell it, you say “wow, this tomato smells good, color is good, I’m going to buy that.” Tomato has lycopene it’s very good for you. Blueberries has a lot of antioxidants, it’s very good. I’ll give you another example, anything with omega 3. Fish is very good for you.

Captain Brien: Yeah, fish.

Dr. Daller: What kind of fish?

Captain Brien: Salmon, right?

Dr. Daller: Salmon, nothing better than salmon. You know great, you know line caught salmon is fantastic for you.

Captain Brien: Let me ask you a question. So what about reading? Keeping your mind sharp. Does that have any affect on it?

Dr. Daller: Absolutely.

Captain Brien: It does.

Dr. Daller: So doing brain exercises are very, very important. So what I recommend for my patients, I recommend to pick up something new. So we all can read. Reading doesn’t cut it enough.

Captain Brien: Right.

Dr. Daller: So reading keep you sharp in reading realm but doing something new for example if Captain Brian says “My cognition is not as good,” start playing the piano because if you don’t know how to play the piano. Now you are going to pick up something new.

Captain Brien: You have to learn.

Dr. Daller: You have to learn. So reading, you already know how to read. It’s much much easier, something new. Or for example, drawing or any new sport. I mean if you don’t know how to play soccer go play some soccer, or do anything–

Captain Brien: What’s better, the physical activity or the the brain growth

Dr. Daller: Great question so there’s no one thing that is better than the other. I believe in you have to do the package deal. You have to do everything. So you cannot be a mediocre and say, “Well I want to do the minimum, “I just want to do a little bit.”

Captain Brien: So you can’t eat crapy and then work out and think this is gonna work.

Dr. Daller: It will never work. You have to do all of the above.

Captain Brien: Because I’m prone to it I believe because my grandmother had it for 13 years.

Dr. Daller: Sure.

Captain Brien: So, it was terrible in my family

Dr. Daller: Of course.

Captain Brien: Because we actually took care of her for all those years. My parents basically dedicated their whole 13 years of their life during that time.

Dr. Daller: Impressive.

Captain Brien: And took care of her everyday.

Dr. Daller: Impressive.

Captain Brien: So I know, the negative affects. And to prevent it, that’s important.

Dr. Daller: So again, let’s rehash here. So exercise is extremely important. Keeping your heart rate high, you know. 3 times a week is the minimum, minimum, minimum that you should do. four times a week is even better. I do an hour, you can do half an hour and that’s going to be good enough. The next thing you do is diet, what to diet. So, we talked about berries, we talked about fish with omega 3, high omega 3 fish and we talked about, we didn’t talk about but we are going to mention walnuts and all those nuts. So variety of nuts, specifically walnuts. And number four is coffee. We talked about it in this podcast many times. Coffee is very good for you. It’s an antioxidant. Study after study show when you look at kids and when you look at adults, they drink coffee. If I give you a cup of coffee and make you take a test. And I don’t give you the cup of coffee, you’re going to do better when you drink that cup of coffee.

Captain Brien: Really, because you’re sharper?

Dr. Daller: Absolutely, you’re sharper. So it’s coffee. Don’t let any doctor tell you that coffee is bad for you. That’s an old school medicine. You have to find yourself a new doctor that is progressive, that is up to par, that understand it. You know what.

Captain Brien: Is it coffee or is it caffeine?

Dr. Daller: No it’s not just the caffeine. There’s other things in coffee, caffeine is one of them but in tea, you have thiamine, you have other things in tea as well that is very good for you. So as an antioxidant overall but again, you drink coffee, drink good coffee. Don’t go and buy, if you buy a bucket that costs a $1.50 at Publix that’s not good coffee.

Captain Brien: You’re right, not chock-full.

Dr. Daller: Right.

Captain Brien: You can’t have the chock-full of coffee.

Dr. Daller: You cannot have that. And you cannot, decaf doesn’t work. So decaf there’s chemicals in decaf. Really, you’re better off drinking water any day than decaf.

Captain Brien: Okay.

Dr. Daller: So again, coffee is extremely important. Then vegetables. When you go to the super market, green leafy vegetables fantastic for you. Fruits, different type of fruits, fantastic for you. Don’t let anybody tell you that there’s too much sugar in fruits. Again this is old school. I’m not saying you should eat 10 bananas. But having berries, having blueberries, raspberries–

Captain Brien: Is one banana okay a day?

Dr. Daller: Half banana is better for you.

Captain Brien: Half?

Dr. Daller: You really don’t… Half a banana.

Captain Brien: Not a whole banana.

Dr. Daller: Not a whole banana for you.

Captain Brien: Damn, you cut me down.

Dr. Daller: A small banana, the mini bananas. They’re more expensive but yeah

Captain Brien: They’re good for you, all right. Now I take cholesterol medicine. And I heard that’s really bad because that does what?

Dr. Daller: Right, so I don’t like you know, I’m the doctor that is against medicine. You know, I’m the outsider so I don’t like–

Captain Brien: But it’s inherited, my cholesterol as a kid was 400.

Dr. Daller: And I get it, some people need it but overall cholesterol is not a bad thing. Cholesterol is the firefighter that comes to the rescue. So cholesterol wins, people when we do surgery on people that had car accidents or heart attack and we look at the heart and we say where there’s a plaque there’s cholesterol there, there’s the position of things there. You know, cholesterol came to the rescue. So it’s, you know somebody said before that. It’s cholesterol is like, there’s a fire and you’re blaming the firefighter.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Dr. Daller: You know what I’m saying? You don’t blame the firefighter, the cholesterol is the firefighter. So, again cholesterol is the central, cholesterol is the backbone of the testosterone. Cholesterol is the backbone of estrogen. Cholesterol is the backbone of vitamin D. It is extremely, extremely important. And the problem is and we saw that you know on this anti-cholesterol medication that if you look at the label, it will say, “It will impair your cognition.” If you read the label carefully it will say it and why is that, because it also block the cholesterol entering into your brain. And we need that we talked about it the brain is, majority of the brain is fat.

Captain Brien: But I take it CoQ10, does that help? That’s a, is that a myth or what?

Dr. Daller: It is, there’s no–

Captain Brien: And then the fish oil.

Dr. Daller: Fish oil is important. So omega 3, fish oil are important but again the best source of fish oil is salmon.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Dr. Daller: I mean you really don’t need to take pills. You know a lot of people take vitamin E as an anti-inflammatory medication. I don’t think you should take vitamin E. You can take all the anti-inflammatory from your fuel, from the food you are getting. So taking supplements instead of getting, if you are healthy and I know you Brian you eat very healthy. You eat very clean. You are not a guy that eats processed food.

Captain Brien: I try.

Dr. Daller: You try, you do your best and from time to time you have a cheat day but that’s okay majority of the time you really take very good care of yourself.

Captain Brien: Yeah,

Dr. Daller: And again, I know you don’t eat leftovers And everybody knows that, it was like a slogan for Captain Brian, “He doesn’t eat leftovers.” And you know that idea about leftovers it has to be more processed food with leftovers for it to stay good for the next day.

Captain Brien: Right.

Dr. Daller: So by definition you shouldn’t be eating leftovers. That’s fantastic that you don’t eat leftovers. So again we talked about exercise, we talked about food. We talked about, next we’re going to talk about sleep. So what happens when you sleep? Just think about your brain as your iPhone. When your iPhone is acting up, what do they tell you when you go to the apple store? They tell you shut if off completely. Reset it, 3 minutes. Reset it and its all of a sudden it’s working again. Your brain needs a little bit more than 3 minutes as that needs a rest. There is something called beta-amyloid. Beta-amyloid are the position in the brain of people who have Alzheimer’s and we need a mechanism to clear that. And sleep is the time that we are cleaning the house so that’s very important. So again, sleep is important. How much sleep somebody should have? Seven hours is probably ideal. Do I get seven hours every night? Absolutely no, unfortunately I don’t. I wake up very early. My brain is set up differently but ideally seven to eight hours.

Captain Brien: What happens when you wake up automatically?

Dr. Daller: I do, wake up automatically.

Captain Brien: Does that mean you’ve had enough sleep for your brain or not?

Dr. Daller: It depends on your stress level. If you wake up automatically because well, I need to go, I need to do stuff and your brain does not have time to, you know about how much your brain has to do the time that you sleep help you with memory. So it solidify things in your brain. You know when I was in medical school I used to take a quick nap, a 20 minutes nap in the library to remember things because all of a sudden all the stuff that I read solidified in my brain. And we know that people they read a book just before they go to bed and that time they remember all the stuff the next day

Captain Brien: Yup, yup, isn’t that also a technique they use when they either torture people they don’t let them sleep.

Dr. Daller: That’s right, that’s right. You always say I like where it’s going. I like where it’s going.

Captain Brien: Right so if they’re trying to get some information out of you, the police interrogation they just wear you down 24 hours.

Dr. Daller: Right, they keep you on and they put bad music

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Dr. Daller: Bad music.

Captain Brien: They get you going.

Dr. Daller: They get you going.

Captain Brien: So for the Alzheimer’s right now, how do they actually diagnose it?

Dr. Daller: Very good question, so we do a test. So we have different type of forms we ask the patient to do a test. We show them some pictures of different people and we say you know, “This guy’s name is Brian Spina, this guy is Mayor Dollar, this guy is this,” we’ll show them 10 cards and we’ll let them look at them and then we say, we show them a picture of Brian Spina we’ll say “Who is this guy?” And if they say Mayor Dollar, we have a problem here. Or if they say “I don’t remember,” we have a problem.

Captain Brien: What if they had ADD like me and they can’t remember shit in the first place?

Dr. Daller: But a lot of people have difficulty with that

Captain Brien: Yeah

Dr. Daller: But you have to remember some of the names because you cannot tell me you didn’t remember 10 of the pictures, none of them you remember because when we look at somebody we say “Okay, Brian Spina has a mole,” by the way Brian Spina does not have a mole for those who are listening.

Captain Brien: Maybe on my butt.

Dr. Daller: So we look at that mole and we say “Spina has a mole.” We have some pneumonic, we have connection, we put it together. We say Spina is the guy with those sunglasses and we look at those sunglasses, say “That’s Brian Spina.” So we have ways to recognize when you look at I don’t know Ringo Starr for example You look at Ringo Starr, you say “I know this guy, this guy is Ringo Starr,” How do you know if Elton John? I know he has this earring and this clothes, and he has this sunglasses, this is Elton John. That’s how we remember, that’s why a lot of people today have problem with memory because we rely on Google. Let’s say Brian is going to ask me a question, I google it. I think that it’s in my brain, it’s not in my brain.

Captain Brien: Herum says he’s 54 and he’s forgetting a lot right now, what can he do?

Dr. Daller: Yeah, so I would start with diet, so that’s very important what we talked about. Start eating healthy, go to the super market buy plenty of vegetables, plenty of fruit. Red meat only once a week. If you have red meat, healthy red meat, organic food. All the stuff we talked about in this show, then have some walnuts, drink a cup of coffee or two a day.

Captain Brien: Just walnuts or almonds, cashews, anything?

Dr. Daller: Walnuts are the best.

Captain Brien: ‘Cause they have the most oil, right?

Dr. Daller: Correct, they’re more oily. But Peanuts are the worst in that category.

Captain Brien: Peanuts are terrible for you, aren’t they?

Dr. Daller: Correct.

Captain Brien: Is peanut good for anything?

Dr. Daller: I don’t know. It’s better so you know I always look at the alternative. If you’re having peanuts verses I don’t know cheetos,

Captain Brien: Chips?

Dr. Daller: So peanuts beat Cheetos. But it’s not overall its not great.

Captain Brien: It’s the worst lagoon.

Dr. Daller: Correct, it’s the worst lagoon. But it’s not overall, in life it’s about choices.

Captain Brien: He lost 85 pounds recently Herum.

Dr. Daller:Congratulations, that’s fantastic.

Captain Brien: Very nice work, great job.

Dr. Daller: Beautiful.

Captain Brien: You should post tell us how you did it, that’s interesting, good job. But, yeah we wanna get him on the right track now. Get his brain healthy.

Dr. Daller: Right so brain healthy again. Brain healthy is key because everything if you loose that’s the most important part of your body is that brain. If you loose that, everything else is irrelevant. So we have to keep that brain healthy. We have to fuel it. Again, think about it it’s an expensive European car.

Captain Brien: What about water, drinking a lot of water, does that help?

Dr. Daller: Water helps, but does not help overall. Hydration is extremely important. Hydration is important for all the toxins because after all our society, everything is full of toxins. So you do dilute the toxins by drinking a lot of water. But again, we talked about bottled water. We talked about xenoestrogen, remember. We had a podcast about that, that’s a great podcast, about xenoestrogen. so bottled water, I have a problem with bottled water. You know, these are the things that you have to pay attention for the little things, they make a big difference.

Captain Brien: And then in 10 to 20 years they’ll let us know that that was bad for us.

Dr. Daller: I don’t know if they even will let us know.

Captain Brien: No?

Dr. Daller: I don’t know, it’s going to be much more than that. Because it’s all politicized and corrupt.

Captain Brien: All right guys well that was how to power up your brain. We want you guys to be healthy. We want you guys to tune in everyday of course but on Tuesdays ask the doctor. Dr. Dollar makes you holler. And he has all the answers to your questions. DM us, just send us a message guys. You can find him if you’d like on Instagram at…

Dr. Daller: So on Facebook Dollar MD, I’m sorry Instagram Dollar MD. On Facebook Mayor Dollar please be my friend or DM me without being my friend or DM Captain Brian. Come to my office, send me a text message, an email, whatever it takes. Dollar@teamdollar.com, we’re always available. Please send us different topics that you want to talk about that you have interest in.

Captain Brien: We wanna make sure you guys are getting the information you want. Not just the topics that we wanna talk about so. We appreciate you tuning in, this is the Captain’s Log, we’re out and I’ll be back in tomorrow. Don’t miss us.


S2:E60 Carry On Tommy Davidson



Tommy Davidson joins the #naplescaptainslog to discuss sketch comedy and sings us a tune! Check out his voice!

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PODCAST RECAP

Miss something on one of our episodes of the #naplescaptainslog? Don’t worry we got you covered! Here you will find a full transcript from this episode of the #naplescaptainslog!

Captain Brien: We are live. Tommy Davidson. It’s an honor, I appreciate it buddy. Thanks for joining me on the Captain’s Log today. How’s everything?

Tommy Davidson: I love how the shades went down.

Captain Brien: I gotta kinda look good, you know?

Tommy Davidson: Yeah, you just went shade down, shades down.

Captain Brien: I’m with Mr. Hollywood so I have to look all Hollywood for you.

Tommy Davidson: Shades down!

Captain Brien: You know? So what’s goin’ on man? How was the trip into Naples?

Tommy Davidson: It was good. Now, it’s about a 2 1/2 hour drive from Miami.

Captain Brien: Oh, you flew into Miami?

Tommy Davidson: Yeah, no, I drove into here.

Captain Brien: But you landed in Miami?

Tommy Davidson: Landed in Miami, stayed there a couple of days but as you’re driving here, you don’t want to pop a tire because you think you’re in Jurassic Park.

Captain Brien: You crossed alligator alley.

Tommy Davidson: Yeah, no, no like a literal raptor will come after you. But a beautiful drive and glad to be here and just, this is a corner of this world that’s kinda cool.

Captain Brien: It’s a little bit of a secret place, right?

Tommy Davidson: I mean, you know, I mean–

Captain Brien: Everyone’s found out about it now but it’s a little secret little paradise.

Tommy Davidson: I mean, I mean if you can find a road here. You know what I mean? If you can find a road here because I don’t know how people got here without a road.

Captain Brien: Right?

Tommy Davidson: You know what I mean? But, it has everything you want.

Captain Brien: Yup.

Tommy Davidson: I mean, come on. And I’m having a good time here. And it’s a good place to live if you’re a pair of golf shorts. Lot of golf goin’ on.

Captain Brien: Do you golf?

Tommy Davidson: I do not.

Captain Brien: I know you sing.

Tommy Davidson: I do not, but golf, what is golf? Trivia, quick, quickly.

Captain Brien: Okay, tell me.

Tommy Davidson: The game golf, what is the game golf guys? What is the game golf?

Captain Brien: Koba, Vicky, tell us, what’s golf?

Tommy Davidson: What is the game golf? Why is it called golf?

Captain Brien: I don’t know this.

Captain Brien: Okay? I’m a captain, I know fishing, not golf.

Tommy Davidson: Okay, golf is called, well there’s three names for a rabbit. Golf, hare and rabbit. The game is golf. Rabbit, rabbit into the hole. Boom!

Captain Brien: Oh, I see, I see. That’s good!

Tommy Davidson: You hit the rabbit.

Captain Brien: More importantly–

Tommy Davidson: Into the hole. Now, I don’t play

Captain Brien: I asked you don’t–

Tommy Davidson: That’s the only thing I know about golf.

Captain Brien: You don’t play golf, but you sing. I wanna hear a tune.

Tommy Davidson: Oh yeah?

Captain Brien: Yeah!

Captain Brien: ‘Cause you got a beautiful voice.

Tommy Davidson: I mean you name the tune… Or should I just start?

Captain Brien: You could just belt out a tune ’cause this, we’re live.

Tommy Davidson: ♪ Carry on my wayward son ♪ ♪ There’ll be peace when you are done ♪ ♪ Lay your weary head to rest ♪ ♪ Don’t you cry no more ♪

Captain Brien: That’s amazing, dude!

Tommy Davidson: That’s a little thing from Kansas back from you know, we’re not in Kansas anymore but…

Captain Brien: How did you just belt it out like that?

Tommy Davidson: I mean I can’t do it again.

Captain Brien: Just one time, that’s all you got?

Tommy Davidson: Yeah, hold on.

Tommy Davidson: Hold on, hold on.

Captain Brien: That’s amazing though.

Tommy Davidson: See the blood, the blood.

Captain Brien: I got goosebumps.

Tommy Davidson: Ha!

Captain Brien: It’s good. It’s amazing.

Tommy Davidson: Yeah, well amazing things happen when the cameras come on.

Captain Brien: The thing is like you’re the king of sketch comedy. In Living Color

Captain Brien: I’ll take that. Obviously like unbelievable.

Tommy Davidson: I’ll take that.

Captain Brien: It changed the comedy world, right?

Tommy Davidson: It changed the comedy landscape.

Captain Brien: I mean that was the thing. Like, if you weren’t watching In Living Color, you weren’t cool.

Tommy Davidson: You weren’t up on it.

Captain Brien: Right?

Tommy Davidson: You weren’t up on it and still it’s out there, still doing the same things that it was doing before which is making people cry laughing.

Captain Brien: What do you think about sketch comedy today? How do you feel, it’s changed? The same?

Tommy Davidson: It’s not that much of it.

Captain Brien: No.

Tommy Davidson: It’s not that much of it. So we were, we were the stock of it

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Tommy Davidson: at the time. And us, Saturday Night Live, were the stock of the sketch. Um, I don’t know much about sketch now because there’s not much. Now it’s reality.

Captain Brien: Now it’s all on the internet, I think. All the sketch

Tommy Davidson: Yeah. and the memes today.

Tommy Davidson: All the sketch, and… Okay, you’re right.

Captain Brien: Right.

Tommy Davidson: In the, what am I talking about? What am I talking about? You are absolutely right. And there is a lot of

Tommy Davidson:Well, the thing is. brilliant kids out there doing stuff.

Captain Brien: You were thinking about network sketch and I get that, there isn’t. You’re right.

Tommy Davidson: I mean, you know the internet wasn’t there.

Captain Brien: Right.

Tommy Davidson: So we had to do it that way. But, there is a lot of stuff.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Tommy Davidson: And a lot of it sucks.

Captain Brien: That’s out there.

Tommy Davidson: It really sucks.

Captain Brien: You know what’s hard for me to follow?

Tommy Davidson: A lot of it sucks, dude.

Captain Brien: The kids watch these YouTube clips and these memes.

Tommy Davidson: A lot of it sucks, man. Get outta here, man! A lot of it sucks.

Captain Brien: My kids would do it, like they’ll watch.

Tommy Davidson: But, some of it is really good.

Captain Brien: Some is.

Tommy Davidson: I mean, some of it is really good, and it doesn’t matter your age. My eight year old is watching stuff, And I’m going, “Wow, that’s really good. That’s really good. And who am I to say it sucks or whatever, because sucks is a matter of perception. Your age group, I mean, I suck. You know?

Captain Brien: Well, what do you suck at? Nothing! You can sing, you can dance, you can tell comedy.

Tommy Davidson: I suck to my 12 year old.

Captain Brien: Oh yeah, you’re not as cool.

Tommy Davidson: Yeah.

Captain Brien: I know, they don’t . You’re cool with the whole world but to your 12 year old, you’re so lame. I’m the same way.

Tommy Davidson: I think I’m so fancy. I’m showing up.

Captain Brien: You were hanging with P Diddy.

Tommy Davidson: My son’s friends are looking at me like who’s the square?

Captain Brien: Right. You’re such a nerd.

Tommy Davidson: And I’m like, are you talking to me? I’ll bust you in your face.

Captain Brien: They don’t get it.

Tommy Davidson: I’ll bust you in your face, shorty. But, you know what? I love them.

Captain Brien: Of course.

Tommy Davidson: What are you kidding me?

Captain Brien: It’s amazing. Because they are me.

Captain Brien: And they are you without even realizing it. They get all the seeds, the juice. They know everything that you are knowing.

Tommy Davidson: Yeah, they turn me on to stuff. Good stuff that I didn’t even know, you know, that they give me. And, I can get that from the internet. I can get that from social media by just watching them.

Captain Brien: I agree.

Tommy Davidson: It’s just so much.

Captain Brien: When you said that some of the sketch comedy stuff on the internet sucks, it’s just different. Like to me, I don’t get my kids will watch a clip that has five million views and they’ll show me. They’ll be like, “This is so funny”. And, I’ll watch it,

Captain Brien: And you’ll be like,

Tommy Davidson: And you’ll be like, “I don’t get it”.

Captain Brien: Yeah, that’s really not. The guy was really good at editing, and he kept your attention for 30 seconds. So you liked it. But, I don’t really know what the message is or what’s funny.

Tommy Davidson: But they do.

Captain Brien: They don’t either. I think they like the quickness. The snap, the boom!

Tommy Davidson: It’s popularity, you know? It’s popularity. It can get scary. Who’s the lady? The woman that comes into the screen?

Captain Brien: That does the weird?

Tommy Davidson: Like, Rich Bitch. You know, she got kids doing things. You know, “Jump out the window!”

Captain Brien: The tea. The girl that does the tea.

Tommy Davidson: What’s her name?

Captain Brien: You know the tea girl?

Tommy Davidson: She’s like, “Jump out the window now!” It’s scary.

Captain Brien: She has a scary face.

Tommy Davidson: They’re in kids rooms by themselves, and the kid is on the computer doing homework, and, “Jump out the window, now!” It’s like so crazy .

Captain Brien: What’s one of the most memorable experiences you had in comedy coming up? You’ve been doing this how many years now?

Tommy Davidson: 35.

Captain Brien: 35 years. And mostly touring that whole time as well. If you take a movie break

Captain Brien: All the time. or something like that. But, 35 years of comedy.

Tommy Davidson: All that time.

Captain Brien: How did you start and what’s one of your most memorable experiences?

Tommy Davidson: I started in a strip club in D.C.

Captain Brien: Really? As a stripper?

Tommy Davidson: As a friend, no, as a stripper. I was with Chicken Dales.

Captain Brien: ‘Cause I would watch you.

Captain Brien: I’m just kidding.

Tommy Davidson: A friend of mine said you should be doing comedy. He worked at the club.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Tommy Davidson: He called the manager and said, “I know a guy who’s funny.” I walked in, the guy said there’s the stage. And I looked at my friend. I said, “what do I do?” He said, “I don’t care, just get up there.” And, I haven’t stopped.

Captain Brien: Really?

Tommy Davidson: And all of a sudden, I’m in your car.

Captain Brien: Really?

Tommy Davidson: Yeah.

Captain Brien: ‘Cause the people tell me all the time, “Oh, such and such is funny.” And to me, I’m like “Oh, that’s good. “I’m happy they’re funny. “Put them on the open mic and let them do some comedy, “it’s not the same.” So, that person was really, they either believed in you so much at that minute, because I hear this all the time. “Oh this guy is so funny, you should meet him.” I’m like, “Is he a comedian?” “No, but he’s just hysterical.”

Tommy Davidson: He’s funny, yeah.

Captain Brien: That’s one in a million, dude.

Tommy Davidson: He was right about me.

Captain Brien: You’re one in a million. That just doesn’t happen.

Tommy Davidson: And I didn’t know. I’m an anomaly.

Captain Brien: You are.

Tommy Davidson: I’m an anomaly.

Captain Brien: I don’t want to repeat that.

Tommy Davidson: Yeah. I’m an anomaly.

Captain Brien: Oh, man, so.

Tommy Davidson: Get it? Break that down. Almond. Ahmanomy. Anyway.

Captain Brien: No, I can’t. So you stepped on the stage

Tommy Davidson: That’s going viral. and how did it go?

Tommy Davidson: I killed.

Captain Brien: You killed!

Captain Brien: Killed. Again, never happens.

Tommy Davidson: From the beginning, from the very beginning, killed.

Captain Brien: Did you have a joke set? Or did you just talk?

Tommy Davidson: Nah, I just kinda talked but it was kinda there.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Tommy Davidson: And I just, from the first thing I said, they started laughing.

Captain Brien: Right away?

Tommy Davidson: Yeah. I wasn’t even old enough to be in the clubs, man. I just started killing from there from there, And went from there to New York.

Captain Brien: Did you ever bomb?

Tommy Davidson: I’ve bombed on stage. I’ve bombed off stage.

Captain Brien: Yeah .

Tommy Davidson: In life, but never bombed on stage.

Captain Brien: Wow, that’s amazing.

Tommy Davidson: Never bombed on stage.

Captain Brien: I think it’s the way you interact with the crowd, you read them. You read the audience as good as anybody’s ever done. And, I think that’s what the success is. What do you think?

Tommy Davidson: I think so. I’ll give you a good example. Off The Hook Comedy Club. Now as a comic, okay? As a comic my eyes like a quarterback’s.

Captain Brien: Sure.

Tommy Davidson: So, I’m reading the defense. The defense is the audience. It’s me versus their mind, to get into their mind something that’s humorous, that makes them laugh. So I have to look at who’s there, what’s there.

Captain Brien: Yep.

Tommy Davidson: And, go from there. I can’t just go, okay I’m going to do my act, you know that’s me. Everybody has their own individual thing. I can’t just do what I would do in New York or do in Brooklyn in an all black show. I can’t do what I’d do in Texas.

Captain Brien: Hey Josh! Hey Danny! What’s happening?

Tommy Davidson: What’s up, Joshua?

Captain Brien: We’re going to do breakfast with you, buddy. We’ll see you soon. So you’re reading the audience.

Tommy Davidson: Maybe, maybe Josh. Maybe. I know how to dial in.

Captain Brien: Yup.

Tommy Davidson: I’m like Tom Brady, man. Okay, I’ll send a tight-end this way. I’ll take this person outward this angle. I’ll try it, I’ll do this bit. So I have a catalog of plays that are here, and I can scramble.

Captain Brien: If you need to.

Tommy Davidson: I’m an excellent scrambler, too. And so, that’s how I bring shows together. That’s comedy technique from me. Everybody has their own approach, that’s mine.

Captain Brien: And how much writing do you do?

Tommy Davidson: I do writing for myself, by myself, and I do it here. It’s interesting. I don’t have a team of writers.

Captain Brien: And, you don’t write down literally on paper? I do, I do, I do.

Captain Brien: Oh you do, okay.

Tommy Davidson: I do write down on paper, but I gotta be working on a special or something. The rest is just in here, you know?

Captain Brien: And during the performance, how much is…

Tommy Davidson: ‘Cause of guys like Carlos Mencia around.

Captain Brien: Ad lib off the cuff? And how much is material that you’ve horned in and worked on that for a long time?

Tommy Davidson: It depends nightly.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Tommy Davidson: It depends nightly.

Captain Brien: ‘Cause every show you do is different. Like, you always mix it up. Some guys go, like you said, they’ll tell their set and they’ll run with it the whole show. But yours is kinda crafted, I think along the way.

Tommy Davidson: Yeah, our kid wasn’t crafted off a pornographic disc from the Care Plus Kids. That was Chip Rock, circa 1991. Yeah, see?

Captain Brien: Yeah, I get it.

Tommy Davidson: Cancel the . So, that’s what happens with me. It’s something that I worked on for a long time. And, what I do is, I take all of the different comic techniques, and I blend them into one. And, I actually bit that from Bruce Lee.

Captain Brien: Oh.

Tommy Davidson: Yeah. So, Bruce Lee took all of the different fighting styles, all of the best of them, and then made his own style. Jeet Kune Do. So he took karate, judo, all of those, and then took the best out of them, and made a style.

Captain Brien: And that’s how you formulate your comedy show.

Tommy Davidson: That’s how I do my comedy.

Captain Brien: What’s one of the most memorable…

Tommy Davidson: No puppets.

Captain Brien: None.

Tommy Davidson: ‘Cause I’m just not good at that.

Captain Brien: Right . Least you’re not good at something.

Tommy Davidson: The guys who’re good at that, oh my God, are good at it.

Captain Brien: I’m happy you’re not good at one thing, ’cause it’s embarrassing. You’re in the car singing, dancing, talking, give another brother a chance.

Tommy Davidson: Yeah, yeah, no puppets.

Captain Brien: You gotta have a…

Tommy Davidson: The puppet dudes are off the hook.

Captain Brien: They are off the hook.

Tommy Davidson: I would’ve said that anyway. I would’ve said that anyway.

Captain Brien: Yeah, no, I get it.

Tommy Davidson: I would’ve said that anyway.

Captain Brien: It’s gone a long way with the name. It’s been good. It’s a double, uh,

Tommy Davidson: Watch out! No, I’m kidding.

Captain Brien: Let me ask you a question. In your career, what’s the one thing you’re most proud of that you’ve done.

Tommy Davidson: I’ve stayed as Tommy Davidson’s, Barbara Davidson’s youngest son.

Captain Brien: Okay.

Tommy Davidson: And that says,

Captain Brien: Along the way.

Tommy Davidson: That says a lot. That says a lot. That little boy.

Captain Brien: You’re the youngest of how many?

Tommy Davidson: I’m the youngest of three. And that little boy saw so much, and went through so much. And that family

Captain Brien: Because you’re…

Tommy Davidson: Went through so much. That for me to still be her son, to still be what she created in me.

Captain Brien: Because, people may not know the story. I don’t even know if I knew it before today. I think I’ve heard the story, but you were abandoned as a baby.

Tommy Davidson: Mmhmm.

Captain Brien: Was it? What happened? Is it a dumpster? What was it?

Tommy Davidson: No, it was a pile of trash on the side of a house. It was a random, kinda, finding of me. And, that, I’m sitting here now.

Captain Brien: Wow. Unbelievable.

Tommy Davidson: It really happened, it’s not something that I’ve talked about a lot. But, now I’m talking about it a lot.

Captain Brien: As a baby you were abandoned. Your mother who raised you is not your biological mother.

Tommy Davidson: No.

Captain Brien: She adopted you and she found you.

Tommy Davidson: Mmhmm.

Captain Brien: Unbelievable. Unprecedented.

Tommy Davidson: And, I had nothing to do with it.

Captain Brien: Nothing.

Tommy Davidson: Nothing to do with it.

Captain Brien: You were a baby, you were an infant.

Tommy Davidson: I had nothing to do with it.

Captain Brien: How old were you?

Tommy Davidson: They think I was almost two.

Captain Brien: Wow.

Tommy Davidson: Yeah.

Captain Brien: Wow.

Tommy Davidson: Yeah, somewhere around 18 months.

Captain Brien: And then, for her to raise you and, I mean, that’s just, she has an amazing heart.

Tommy Davidson: It’s a good story and it’s true. And, with all the bad stories that are out there, I’m glad to be able to represent a really good story.

Captain Brien: Right.

Tommy Davidson: Watch the news for one second, and you’ll know what I’m talking about.

Captain Brien: I agree.

Tommy Davidson: You’ll know what I’m talking about.

Captain Brien: What were the loopholes? How did she navigate the system to be able to adopt you? When you find a child today it doesn’t work like that.

Tommy Davidson: Well, she’s wicked smart.

Captain Brien: Okay.

Tommy Davidson: Always has been, so, she was able to finesse that back then, and make it work, thank God. I am definitely her greatest achievement. Her and my brother and my sister. Were her greatest achievements because she passed onto us the way she rolls. The way she rolls is, hey, man, everybody’s the same. Everybody deserves a decent shot at whatever. Don’t wait for the holidays to be happy, make it everyday.

Captain Brien: That’s how you live your life.

Tommy Davidson: That’s how she rolls.

Captain Brien: Every time I’m with you, you’re smiling. Every time I see you, you’re happy. It’s contagious. I mean, it really is. Which is obviously why you have a successful 35 year career in comedy.

Tommy Davidson: It helps.

Captain Brien: Or in anything, I mean. To be able to do something for that long, like, negative people with negative vibes, they don’t exist that long.

Tommy Davidson: Not from what I’ve seen.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Tommy Davidson: Not from what I’ve seen, but, there’s two sides to the world.

Captain Brien: Of course.

Tommy Davidson: There’s the negative charged, and sometimes they go on forever.

Captain Brien: It’s shocking when that happens.

Tommy Davidson: Sometimes they go on forever, and sometimes you be like, “What am I doing? “What am I doing wrong?” You’re not doing anything wrong.

Captain Brien: But, your time will come if you stay positive.

Tommy Davidson: Yeah.

Captain Brien: Always.

Tommy Davidson: That time being right now.

Captain Brien: That’s right. And you could see him at Off the Hook comedy club all week. Tonight.

Tommy Davidson: Right now at this moment.

Captain Brien: Saturday and Sunday.

Tommy Davidson: Diane, how you doing, girl?

Captain Brien: Diane Lewis. Anthony.

Tommy Davidson: Anthony Angelini. Yeah, I got that right!

Captain Brien: Go see it. Of the Hook comedy dot com, get your tickets.

Tommy Davidson: I see you Lewis. Thank you for watching, bro.

Captain Brien: Tommy Davidson. We’ve been friends now for, how many years have we known each other?

Tommy Davidson: I’m gonna say 11 or 12.

Captain Brien: 11 or 12 years?

Tommy Davidson: Yeah, something like that.

Captain Brien: It’s been an honor to be your friend.

Tommy Davidson: Pre Fab Homes! Okay, but go ahead.

Captain Brien: I’ll tell you, it’s never a dull moment.

Tommy Davidson: Pre Fab Homes, man!

Captain Brien: Who’s more hyper in the morning, me or you? ‘Cause you told me to turn it down.

Tommy Davidson: I think we’re tied. Yeah, we’re fencing.

Captain Brien: You told me like, “Dude this is too much, hold on.”

Tommy Davidson: When he came to pick me up at the hotel he just flew into my focus, “Hi there!” “How’s it going, man? “Oh, I’m up! “Things are good! Hold on my kids! “Yeah, get in the Uber, get out of here!”

Captain Brien: Guys listen up. I got Tommy Davidson on the Captain’s Log. Don’t miss him at Off the Hook, and guess what, we appreciate you watching. Tune in every day. You can always like and share. But, more importantly, go to any app and rate us. If you like the show, give us a five-star. Even if you’re just rating Tommy, I’m sure he’s five-stars.

Tommy Davidson: You can rate me, you can rate me.

Captain Brien: And have a good time. We appreciate you watching. We’re gonna be live now on B 1 0 3 9, tune in. We out!


S2:E59 Comedian Tells a Joke at a Comedy Club and Gets 911 Called on Him



Comedian Erik Myers back again on the #naplescaptainslog to discuss the infamous 911 call

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S2:E58 Be a Buddy Not a Bully!



Alyssa Elizabeth joins Captain Brien on the #naplescaptainslog to discuss bullying and what you can be doing to help reduce bullying!

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PODCAST RECAP

Miss something on one of our episodes of the #naplescaptainslog? Don’t worry we got you covered! Here you will find a full transcript from this episode of the #naplescaptainslog!

Captain Brien: Yeah, so you can scroll. Hey guys, welcome back. My guest Alyssa Tombazzi.

Alyssa Tombazzi: Yes.

Captain Brien: Is that right?

Alyssa Tombazzi: Yes.

Captain Brien: Wow , I got it right. That’s the hardest part of my day, just so you know. But, so you’re a personal trainer at the gym I go to, Naples Family Fitness.

Alyssa Tombazzi: Yes.

Captain Brien: And we started talking, and you have a great story about how you’ve become a personal trainer because you were bullied as a child.

Alyssa Tombazzi: Correct.

Captain Brien: And I think that’s really important, because there’s so many people out there that are actually facing the same situation, and you’ve been able to not only overcome that, but, you’re thriving on it.

Alyssa Tombazzi: Yes.

Captain Brien: And, I wanna know why and how. How we can help other people as well who have faced this type of situation as a child, or even during, you know, their adult life. People do it all the time, right?

Alyssa Tombazzi: Yes, it happened, bullying definitely happens as a child and goes into adulthood if you don’t know how to deal with it when you’re young. And I found it when I was 16, I started weight training religiously. I was in the gym every day. And slowly my confidence started to go up–

Captain Brien: I’m gonna share this on your page, or did you?

Alyssa Tombazzi: I did not yet.

Captain Brien: You didn’t, okay, we’re gonna share it. We’re gonna share it on her page too because we want to know all your little fans out there to watch it.

Alyssa Tombazzi: Hi fans.

Captain Brien: Yes, yes. All right, there you go. So yeah, so tell me how basically, how it happened, what you were going through, and how you fed off of that to turn your life into, you know, an occupation and a lifestyle of fitness.

Alyssa Tombazzi: It definitely is a lifestyle. I was bullied so bad as a kid to the point where if I hadn’t found fitness, I would not be here talking to you today and I’m very open and honest about that and I think a lot of people struggle with that and they keep it very private and they don’t wanna discuss it because it’s a taboo subject or it’s something that we just can’t be open about. And I’ve shared my story with a lot of people recently and they’ve all suffered from the same types of things so it’s really amazing to hear that. So I was 16 and I was in a gym class and they made us do weight training for a week and believe it or not I sat out in gym all the time.

Captain Brien: You didn’t go?

Alyssa Tombazzi: I didn’t go.

Captain Brien: Because you felt so inadequate because of the bullying? Insecure from the bullying. So tell me before we get into like more of the story, did you know you were being bullied all the time, like or you just knew that you hated certain people? How was that?

Alyssa Tombazzi: I never hated anyone. I personally think I’m super easy to get along with, I’m nice, I have my opinions, but I can always put those aside. I knew I was being bullied. I’d have it face to face, I’d have it on social media which was AIM instant messenger back in the day. So it was even back then and I had it behind my back and I’d hear stories and I you know, I heard it all the time. And I didn’t really know how to deal with it. I didn’t know how to deal with those people that would say cruel things to me and when I found fitness it just built my confidence up slowly.

Captain Brien: Was there a pivot point? Was there like one incident that really bothered you that said okay, I’m like, I’m done with this. I’m not going to continue to have these feelings. People aren’t gonna treat me like this.

Alyssa Tombazzi: Yes, I think it was when I was at a fair in my home town and I had these jeans on that supposedly made me look fat and right after that I got some nasty messages on Instant Messenger saying that I was really fat and they wanted to see my pants size and it just, it crushed me.

Captain Brien: Yeah, I mean that’s, so for anybody to go through that, I think it’s awful. I have two kids right now, a 12 year old daughter and a 13 year old son and I see some of the messages between Snapchat and Instagram and like, it’s every other week where I’m like, okay that apps gone because I just saw like a message that was completely outrageous and nobody should talk to anybody like that.

Alyssa Tombazzi: That’s terrible.

Captain Brien: And they do it in group chats. So it’s even worse now, like, I can’t imagine any of it being good, but now I think the level of how easily it is spread and how much you could hurt somebody’s feelings and this is not something that happens just in the moment, like this lasted with you still to this day.

Alyssa Tombazzi: Oh yes, I still can go back to those feelings and still feel them, but I know I’ve overcome it, but I mean there’s adult bullies, let’s be honest. I mean, I deal with it every day. And at this point I have thicker skin and I know how to handle it, but I’ve I can’t tell you how many rumors I’ve heard about myself in this town that aren’t true. And I go back and I’m like do you believe what you’re telling me?

Captain Brien: Right, why is that something? The thing that gets me is that, is that why is that the most important thing of their day or life at the time that they have to be so driven to talk about other people.

Alyssa Tombazzi: ‘Cause they have nothing else important in their life.

Captain Brien: Right, so those are the negative people. You have to just tune those out, tell them goodbye, I’m not interested, you’re not part of my life anymore. I have nothing to do with you, you don’t exist. That’s how I deal with it.

Alyssa Tombazzi: Focus on the positive people in your life and that’s the whole reason I’m here is I wanna talk about finding an outlet. And it doesn’t necessarily have to be fitness like, obviously that’s what I preach, that’s my lifestyle, but there’s so many other things out there. It could be music, it could be art, it could volunteering with animals, I mean it could literally be anything that you find as your outlet that separates your mind from that stuff that’s negative.

Captain Brien: Absolutely, so you were 16, you wore jeans, you thought they looked hot, someone said you were you were fat in the jeans which is outrageous, but as kids in that age group, I mean I see it from even when my kids were 10, and they’re 12 and 13 now. It’s gonna last all the way, you know, as long as I’ll be a dad having to manage a social media. Hopefully after 18 they’re old enough to tell somebody off, but they do have to deal with it. So you dealt with it in a way where, was that like, so after that you woke up the next day and you said you know what I kinda like working out, or how did it work?

Alyssa Tombazzi: Oh I instantly fell in love with it because as I mentioned I was terrible at sports. I have no hand eye coordination whatsoever and I’m very honest about that. So as I picked up those weights in that gym it just, something clicked and I felt at home and I felt like this is where I belong and it took me a long time to figure out that I wanted to make a career out of it. I went back and forth a lot and wasn’t really sure, tried a lot of different careers, but as soon as I did that weight training class in gym, I joined my rack like within a week and again I felt like I was at home. It’s just always been my go to place when I’m feeling down or sad or whatever it is.

Captain Brien: So I played baseball in college and I always was driven by like wanting to win, wanting to be the best, wanting to be on the team no matter which level I played on, wanted to start, yeah I was very competitive. So did that come like, you have to have that. When you’re in the gym you may not have that that like killer instinct 24/7, but you have to have like a commitment to wanna do this every single day. And you teach that now based on what you’ve been through?

Alyssa Tombazzi: Yes, based on everything that I’ve been through. I like to show people my before and after pictures so they know that and I hae them on my Instagram so they’re all on there.

Captain Brien: You totally transformed, I mean you’re literally a picture of fitness right now and when you were 16 I mean, you weren’t in this kind of shape.

Alyssa Tombazzi: No, definitely not. I look better today than I did as a teenager.

Captain Brien: Yeah, yeah, and you look younger. It’s amazing like do you–

Alyssa Tombazzi: I’ll take that.

Captain Brien: Every day, is it a healthy option, is it the working out? Tell me like what your regimen is and then how you, how people can find you as well because they may wanna use you as their trainer as well.

Alyssa Tombazzi: Yes, I think it’s just a combination of everything. I’m not perfect, I still have a lot of things and goals that I wanna accomplish. I don’t eat perfect, but I definitely watch what I eat. A lot of, obviously a lot of dedication in the gym. Probably there five to six days a week so it’s definitely religiously for me. I’m there all the time.

Captain Brien: And I wanna interrupt because I realized that when we started talking, not only do you work out at a gym and you’re a personal trainer, but you also have another job. So anybody who says that they can’t do this because they don’t have time, right? I mean you don’t need that much time. We talked about it even. Even myself like, I don’t have to ride 30, 40 minutes a day on bike before I go to the gym, I go to the gym for 25 to 40 minutes a day, so I could do everything in 25 minutes if I wanted to.

Alyssa Tombazzi: Oh yeah, there’s no excuses. I’m not a person that listens to excuses because I have a lot on my plate. I’m always doing something, I’m always busy, there’s a lot going on and what’s 30 minutes out of your day? It’s nothing.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Alyssa Tombazzi: And if you set that time, and I teach my clients that, like I tell them, I’m very honest, if you train with me two days a week you will not see results. It’s not realistic, it can’t happen. And I put them on a very strict regimen. I’m like, I’m constantly texting and calling them. Hey did you workout today? You know what’s your diet been like? I’m reviewing their diet, I’m looking into digging deeper than just training them two days a week because that’s not gonna get them anywhere.

Captain Brien: Right, you really wanna see results. You push for results and give them your Instagram handle ’cause I think that’s one of your most popular social media is on Instagram. You are?

Alyssa Tombazzi: It’s l-y-s-s 818 and underscore.

Captain Brien: Okay and so you can find Alyssa, you can also look at the comments because we’ll put her at in there as well and that’s where they can find you and you’re at Naples Family Fitness so you can ask for Alyssa and Kelsey, what’s going on? Raphael how are you buddy? Jen, Grant, everybody’s on today. Sorry I didn’t get to shout out some of the other people, the names are coming up fast and we’re driving and talking and sometimes the sunlight sees the camera here so it’s hard to read all of them, but thanks guys for watching. We’re talking today about being bullied at actually all ages really, right? So when you had those feelings, what did your family say? Did you tell people about them or how?

Alyssa Tombazzi: Yes, I usually did. I went home crying a lot, I’m not gonna lie. And my family was all bullied, they all suffered from the same thing so it kinda runs in the family and they never really taught me how to deal with it. They kinda just, they felt bad. So I think in a way you have to, if you have kids or you have people that are being bullied around you, you need to teach them ways to cope with it, not just feel bad because the sympathy it doesn’t really help that much. It helps a little bit, but you need to teach them skills and how to deal with those people because they’re gonna be in your life forever.

Captain Brien: And so what, give me a couple good good bit of advice that you do right now even at your adult age when you’re feeling like somebody’s doing that.

Alyssa Tombazzi: Honestly it’s just in the moment. You just have to know how to handle that person in the moment, sometimes you just have to walk away, sometimes you have to say something that catches them off guard. There’s always gonna be people that say cruel things to you and have their opinions. Like I said I hear a lot of rumors about myself come back around, and I’ll say do you believe that? And then that’s it. And then they kinda just give me that look and I’m like okay, well, that kinda answers that questions.

Captain Brien: Yeah a lot of times they say kinda facing you know the fact that like, I’m not gonna be pushed around, right, by you just because you think that you’re entitled to do so.

Alyssa Tombazzi: Exactly and it’s because they’re insecure. They have their insecurities and they wanna bring other people down with them. And that’s what people have to remember if you are being bullied, remember that those people are very insecure, they’re hurting. One of my bullies committed suicide. If that doesn’t tell you anything, I mean that’s huge right there.

Captain Brien: Of course.

Alyssa Tombazzi: It happens, and they’re suffering from things that we don’t understand so a lot of times I go back to that old saying hurt people, hurt people.

Captain Brien: That’ true.

Alyssa Tombazzi: It sounds very cliche but it’s very true.

Captain Brien: It is true, it is true. And you know, it’s a topic that I think most of the people out there have faced I’m sure, whether it’s someone in their family, themselves, or their kids or anybody and it’s just really something that I wish you could snap your fingers and put a stop to it because I have paid when I see my kids, you know, having to deal with these messages or it’s the worst on Snapchat. They’ll do private groups and then they can’t, oh they’re not allowed in that group or they’ll let somebody in the group who they don’t want in the group and they just let them in the group to make fun of them. It’s like why do you guys continue to do this? Like this is not healthy for anybody. So I feel the pain for all of that as well. And it’s like, it’s almost addictive for the children these days where if they’re not somehow knowing what’s goin on in all these circles, they feel like oh okay, well I’m left out now.

Alyssa Tombazzi: It’s faux mall, they’re missing out a hundred percent. They feel like they have to know everything, even if they’re getting bullied, it’s almost, it almost becomes an addiction like well what are these people saying about me and sometimes it’s better not to know. Because if it’s not nice things, you don’t need to know it.

Captain Brien: Yeah, I mean I’ll take the phone away, I’ll just delete all the apps and I have it locked up so she can’t get to the app store because I just delete that too, they can’t even use it. And then she’s like, it’ll be a few weeks will go by and she’s like okay can I have snapchat back? Or can I have Instagram back? And I’ll be like yeah, but if I see another thing on there, we’re gonna have a big problem again. And then it’s just done. So she’s, like she understands that you know that, dad’s always watching you, but–

Alyssa Tombazzi: But that’s awesome you monitor her.

Captain Brien: I think that I’m one of the you know, the only dads that’s really into social media that these kids like they all know that I’m on social media all the time, so they’ll follow me or whatever, but like I don’t think their parents know a lot about what they’re doing and how it’s affecting them.

Alyssa Tombazzi: If you ‘re not monitoring it, you’re just, you’re just as guilty as your kids and I really, I wanna say it starts with the parents or the teachers, I mean, where do kids learn bullying from? They learn it from the adults that they’re around. The don’t just randomly start picking on people for no reason. They’re learning it so I think it just comes down to being aware of what you’re saying when you have children around or have young people that are very, you know, they pick up they absorb everything that you say and you have to be so careful because, it definitely comes from the adults. I hundred percent think it starts there. If we don’t stop that, then it will never stop in schools.

Captain Brien: I agree, I agree totally about some of these things at school, and the schools they seem a little clueless, they go after certain situations that to me are so minuscule and they should focus on like the big picture of the whole scenario and not just an individual that made a post, or somebody whose doing something. Like they should teach them like, nonstop about this instead of you know like, they kinda harbor on certain just, events individually. And I think that that sometimes draws more attention ’cause then the curiosity the kids wanna know, well what did he say? How did he do it? What’s going on? Right right, yeah.

Alyssa Tombazzi: That feeds into it, and there honestly, there could be teachers that are bullies, and I’m not calling anyone out.

Captain Brien: No, no the teachers’ doing a great job. But I think the school system needs to develop a way that they can help with this for sure, yeah.

Alyssa Tombazzi: And I think even having people that have, and I think everybody can relate. Every one’s been bullied at least once or twice in their life and if they haven’t they probably weren’t aware of it. And I think it would start with people like me and other people that have been bullied going to schools and talking about it openly and telling these kids like the words that you say today can effect that person for the rest of their life. It’s not gonna just be today. That carries over the rest of their life and it’s something that you really have to think carefully about. There’s a difference between saying something hurtful and joking around with someone. You could easily just joke around with someone but you have to know your limits with people especially when they’re extremely sensitive. And some people are and I’m a lot better now. I was a lot more sensitive as a child, but like I said those carry through and they effect everything you do with your life. Everything.

Captain Brien: Well we appreciate you coming on. It’s obviously a topic that still to this day it haunts you like you’re driven by this and it takes a lot of courage to come on and tell people that yeah, I was bullied, and I want to change other people’s lives. So go see Alyssa, go workout with her. She is super motivated and super talented. She’s gonna get you, whip your butt in shape out there. I see Charles is on there, he used to be at the gym. I know he’s moved now, but I wanna say hi, what’s going on? And Jade, how are you? Guys, listen this is the Captain’s Log. I’ll be live tomorrow with Doctor Dollar, we’re gonna teach you how to make your brain healthy. Healthy brains, healthy lives, me and Doctor Dollar tomorrow. Tune in 2:30 live. Thank you for your time, I appreciate it Alyssa. Guys we’re gonna be out.


S2:E56 Songs, Cars and Guitars!



Comedian J Chris Newberg joins the #naplescaptainslog and sings us some improv songs on his guitar! Tune in “Little Buddies!”

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Watch Full Video —————> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lTnHs2CdmB8

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Check Comedian J Chris Newberg out and show him some love at:

PODCAST RECAP

Miss something on one of our episodes of the #naplescaptainslog? Don’t worry we got you covered! Here you will find a full transcript from this episode of the #naplescaptainslog!

Captain Brien: We are live. J Chris Newberg guys, what’s happening?

J Chris Newberg: This is the brand new theme song to your show.

Captain Brien: I’m ready. I’m gonna share it.

J Chris Newberg: Okay. Tell me when you want me to start.

Captain Brien: You can start.

J Chris Newberg: Okay. ♪ We’re down in Florida ♪ ♪ That’s in Florida ♪ ♪ We’re on a podcast ♪ ♪ In a car ♪ ♪ It’s a Captain’s Log ♪ ♪ And Brien will not drive unless I’m playing ♪ ♪ My guitar ♪

Captain Brien: We have to play the guitar.

J Chris Newberg: ♪ And if you doubt how much I die if we crashed ♪ ♪ You would not be wrong ♪ ♪ What’s up with that ♪ ♪ Get your vodka ♪ ♪ Get your comedy ♪ ♪ Get your early morning radio three stops before 8:00 a.m. ♪ ♪ Oh it’s 8:39 Captain’s Log ♪

Captain Brien: Thank you, that was off the cuff buddy. Here we go.

J Chris Newberg: I think people could tell.

Captain Brien: You think, you think?

J Chris Newberg: I think they could figure it out.

Captain Brien: You don’t think that was scripted.

J Chris Newberg: No, I think it was good.

Captain Brien: Appreciate you joining me man. It wasn’t really by choice. You just have to do radio and this is what we do for touring comedians, huh?

J Chris Newberg: This is the gig.

Captain Brien: And I get you in the car so I can ask you a bunch of good questions.

J Chris Newberg: Yeah, comedians with guitars getting driven.

Captain Brien: In the cars.

J Chris Newberg: In the cars.

Captain Brien: With guitars.

J Chris Newberg: With guitars.

Captain Brien: And you didn’t want a coffee this morning, huh? I asked you.

J Chris Newberg: I don’t drink coffee.

Captain Brien: I asked you if you want Dunkin’ Donuts, anything.

J Chris Newberg: Nope.

Captain Brien: Breakfast or nothing, you just go straight up.

J Chris Newberg: No I’m trying to starve myself for when I host Confetti on Wednesday.

Captain Brien: Oh okay, so is this a fast? That’s what they call it these days.

J Chris Newberg: Well no, I do the intermittent fasting. Yeah, twice a week.

Captain Brien: How does that work? Tell me what you do.

J Chris Newberg: Well you just, it’s 16 hours in between meals where all you’re allowed is water.

Captain Brien: Right.

J Chris Newberg: It’s not so hard.

Captain Brien: No it’s not that hard ’cause you do it at night. I do it actually.

J Chris Newberg: Yeah you go like, I’ll stop eating at like nine. And then I can eat at 1:00 p.m.

Captain Brien: Yeah, it’s not that hard.

J Chris Newberg: No and people are always so confused, they’re like, well they should call breakfast something ’cause you’re breaking a fast. I’m like, how ’bout breakfast?

Captain Brien: Yeah breakfast.

J Chris Newberg: Yeah, which is another thing. It’s just like, why don’t they have a magazine about making America great again called Magazine?

Captain Brien: Yeah, I get it.

J Chris Newberg: Yeah, that’s a thing, that’s a thing.

Captain Brien: That should be coming.

J Chris Newberg: Shout out to Carl Rimi.

Captain Brien: Carl Rimi, comedian extraordinaire, been on the show many times, my good buddy.

J Chris Newberg: Carl, I hope he didn’t make you play guitar.

Captain Brien: No, Carl doesn’t play the guitar. Carl likes to hit the gym, works out.

J Chris Newberg: Yeah, he knows about intermittent fasting.

Captain Brien: That’s right, that’s right he does, he does. So where are you coming in from?

J Chris Newberg: I was just in Los Angeles. And I flew to Florida, Flo-Rida, as the cool kids like to call it, by way of Atlanta.

Captain Brien:  Atlanta, the ATL.

J Chris Newberg: Yep, the ATL. Heard a really horrible conversation. I refer to myself as airplane Chris. When I get tired, I get irritated, like irritable. And I’m not even doin’ a bit. Like I just can’t not get annoyed out loud. And I’m a pretty calm person, but like if I haven’t slept in a bunch. There was this guy and he was hitting on this girl in front of me. You know, like when you’re in line on the jetway, and you’re just trying to get on the plane and it’s all bottlenecked and whatever. This guy’s in front of me and he’s like oh, there’s a Shake Shack here at the airport. Isn’t that weird? And she’s like, that is weird. He’s like I like Shake Shack shakes. He’s like, they’re good. She’s like, that is weird. He’s like, do you take Uber? And I was like, come on. What are you talking about?

Captain Brien: What are you doing? J Chris Newberg is our guest today on the Captain’s Log. Guys, you can find him @thechrisarmy right?

J Chris Newberg: @thechrisarmy. Shoutout to Brendan Mulvena.

Captain Brien: Yeah, Brendan Mulvena in the house watching the Captain’s Log here today. So Chris, this is what, is this your fifth or sixth time here?

J Chris Newberg: I think it’s more than that. I was two years prior to when the pipe burst in Marco Island at that house we stayed at.

Captain Brien: Oh wow, in the ceiling or whatever?

J Chris Newberg: Yeah.

Captain Brien: Yeah, and the whole ceiling fell.

J Chris Newberg: Whole ceiling fell. I was there two years before that.

Captain Brien: Wow, that was a while ago. My goodness. So you might even have been 10 times here.

J Chris Newberg: I think so, yeah.

Captain Brien: And have we ever done the Captain’s Log?

J Chris Newberg: No, this is the first time on the Log.

Captain Brien: This is the first time on the Log man. It’s because I was kinda lazy. I would only do it randomly. I should have done it all the time though.

J Chris Newberg: First off, you’ve never been lazy. Shout out to Vicki Baker.

Captain Brien: Hey Vicki.

J Chris Newberg: You’ve never been lazy. Every time I come in town you’re like, oh I got this new thing. I invented the straw, you know. Or like oh, have you thought about putting, you know, iPads on top of the roof of your car so that like planes can see. You’re a hustler.

Captain Brien: I know, I know. I’m always coming up with something. Imagine if I acted on everything that I thought of though.

J Chris Newberg: I mean, there’s time.

Captain Brien: There is, there is. I try to do as much as I can, but I can’t do it all. It’s the story of my life.

J Chris Newberg: Yeah, it’s crazy.

Captain Brien: One day, something’s gonna hit big though.

J Chris Newberg: Absolutely.

Captain Brien: It’s gonna hit big, big time.

J Chris Newberg: I believe in it.

Captain Brien: You know, I’m pushing this vodka right now.

J Chris Newberg: Oh that’s right you have vodka.

Captain Brien: Sugar free, gluten free.

J Chris Newberg: Sugar free, is it better? Or is it competitive with Tito’s?

Captain Brien: It is. It’s actually very similar because the style of distilling that Tito’s does, we do the same thing. Although, we’re 26 calories less than Tito’s. I don’t want to brag but.

J Chris Newberg: No, you don’t need to. It brags itself.

Captain Brien: It’s organic and it’s all Florida made.

J Chris Newberg: You’re using all the right buzzwords.

Captain Brien: We are, we are.

J Chris Newberg: Do you only use that vodka in your restaurant?

Captain Brien: I do, I do.

J Chris Newberg: So no one can, if I come in, I’m like, I’d like a Tito’s.

Captain Brien: We have Tito’s and we have well. But for the most part, everything is, all of our specialty drinks are Captain Briens. All my gin, my rum, my vodka, my dark rum. It’s all made like that.

J Chris Newberg: Do you have a to-go license? Can people buy it there?

Captain Brien: I sell it in almost 70 stores in Florida and I just broke out of maybe about 180 new stores that are signed to deal with. Can you play me a tune?

J Chris Newberg: Yeah absolutely.

Captain Brien: Dude, play me something that, I love some of the new stuff.

J Chris Newberg: Okay. You want me to leave the, do you want me to do.

Captain Brien: No, you can go full on baby, full on. This is the Log.

J Chris Newberg: It’s the log.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

J Chris Newberg: Okay, all right how ’bout this one. Okay, I’ll do the voicemail one that I just did.

Captain Brien: Oh I like that one.

J Chris Newberg: This should be everybody’s outgoing voicemail because everybody hates when people call them. ♪ Please don’t leave a message ♪ ♪ And I hate that you called ♪ ♪ If you leave a voicemail ♪ ♪ I’ll kick you in the balls ♪ ♪ Nevermind, just hang up ♪ ♪ I hate you now ♪ ♪ Please don’t leave a message ♪ ♪ Please don’t leave a message ♪ ♪ Please don’t leave a message ♪ ♪ Nevermind, I blocked you ♪ There you go, it’s short.

Captain Brien: People aren’t leaving messages anymore right? You call. If you do want to talk to ’em, you call. And then when the message comes on, you immediately hang up and you send ’em a text.

J Chris Newberg: It’s lazy.

Captain Brien: Isn’t that how it works?

J Chris Newberg: Yeah, why not just send ’em a text?

Captain Brien: I think because if you want to get something out right away and you’re driving, you call. Otherwise, I think you do send a text.

J Chris Newberg: I think that’s the way to go. I do a lot of the voice texting.

Captain Brien: I do the video. Like if I’m driving, I just put on record, send a video, like hey, this is me, this is what I want to tell you. And you are gonna click on this message and watch it.

J Chris Newberg: Yeah that’s great.

Captain Brien: That’s how I do it.

J Chris Newberg: Yeah I do it. It’s like it’s super old school and everything. But you know, it’s easier if I’m driving. Are you allowed to text in Florida?

Captain Brien: You are, but I put the phone right there, and I just hit play and record.

J Chris Newberg: That’s crazy.

Captain Brien: Boom and I just do it and talk.

J Chris Newberg: That’s nuts.

Captain Brien: It’s good though. I love the technology these days.

J Chris Newberg: Technology’s huge. Can you imagine when you were younger, when you were growing up and you were on the bike, or the scooter, or the skateboard? Side note, I think the hardest part about scooters is that people have to see you on them.

Captain Brien: Yeah, that’s the roughest.

J Chris Newberg: That’s the worst thing. When you were, you know, at your wee smallest, did you ever think, hey there’s gonna be a time in my life where I’m driving, I’m on the phone doing a podcast, pitching a vodka I’ve created, and then on my way to another radio station to promote so people come out to my restaurant comedy club and it’s all technology?

Captain Brien: No I did not ever think of those scenarios together.

J Chris Newberg: What was the dream? Like, what did you want to be?

Captain Brien: A chef.

J Chris Newberg: A chef.

Captain Brien: I wanted to be a chef and I wanted to have a restaurant. And I accomplished that pretty quick. I mean, when I was 23, I think I was 23 and I opened up my first restaurant in Marco Island. So that was done. The dream was met. And then it’s never stopped.

J Chris Newberg: Okay the brand new dream. So once you hit the goal, is it like Mr. Jones from Counting Crows? You’ve got all your dreams come true and then you hit a new.

Captain Brien: I like the struggle, yeah. I like the struggle of getting there. And then I kind of, I feel like the novelty wears off a little bit once it gets to the plateau of success. I want to go on to the next thing. But I always have to have a couple little irons in the fire at once. That keeps me goin’.

J Chris Newberg: Yeah I get bored. Like I mean, it’s not just music, or just standup, or just writing. If I’m on the road, I want to be on a show. If I’m on a show, I want to be on the road. I want to be writing. I want to do all that other stuff. So yeah.

Captain Brien: So your recently started a new podcast.

J Chris Newberg: Yeah, my podcast is fun. You guys should check it out, Heroin Has a Great Publicist. It’s about things that are fucked that people do anyway. And if anybody who is listening to this show or watching on my page, shout out to the addicts. What up kids, what up fam? It’s such a fun thing. It’s like, regardless of how many people are watching or listening, there’s something so powerful and honest about being able to do a podcast ’cause you’re just talking. Like the people who listen, whether it’s the seven now live, or 700, however many it is that it ends up being, they come to you. Maybe not all at once, but when they have time. It’s just like things you download. But they’re legit fans. And they want to be there. They want content.

Captain Brien: And they interact and they send you messages and it’s fun. It’s like a whole family. You call it The Chris Army.

J Chris Newberg: I do, I call The Chris Army.

Captain Brien: How’d you come up with that?

J Chris Newberg: I hated my last name. I don’t really hate it. But it’s like it’s not memorable because I have the pretentious first initial J, born James, go by Chris. So I was J Chris Newberg. Which arguably could be as Mellencamp popular if I became huge. But it’s not the most immediately memorable. You know, it’s like the Yngwie Malmsteen of like names. You know, Brien Spina, that’s sharp. Then you got the Captain. It’s there, you’re already there.

Captain Brien: It’s all three?

J Chris Newberg: Yes.

Captain Brien: I need something for my followers. I keep asking somebody to name the followers. What are they gonna be called?

J Chris Newberg: The little buddies.

Captain Brien: The little buddies.

J Chris Newberg: my God, that’s great. The little buddies.

Captain Brien: That’s what we should be?

J Chris Newberg: Yeah the little buddies.

Captain Brien: I like that.

J Chris Newberg: I’m a little buddy. Yeah, ’cause it’s full on Gilligan’s Island.

Captain Brien: Yeah, oh I get it. And so they’re all like little captains.

J Chris Newberg: They’re all little Gilligans. Oh you could call ’em Gilligans. No, I think little buddies.

Captain Brien: The little buddies is good, but I didn’t get it until you said it full on.

J Chris Newberg: But it’s catchy. Watch Captain’s Log. What’s up little buddies, huge.

Captain Brien: Yeah, it’s cute, it’s cute.

J Chris Newberg: My fans are junkies or addicts. Not legit, but that’s what they go by. And you know, it’s a thing. And then you get like, it’ll be like, it could be a hashtag. Watch Captain’s Log, #LB. You can have little buddy events.

Captain Brien: Little buddy events, I like this.

J Chris Newberg: Then soon you can get in with your little buddy card.

Captain Brien: Oh like a VIP buddy.

J Chris Newberg: Yeah, like if you want to come to the show and you want to buy a bottle of vodka, you get 10% off with your little buddy card.

Captain Brien: Yeah, that’s called the Captain’s Circle. I already have that.

J Chris Newberg: All right, well you know what, you need something.

Captain Brien: It’s an annual membership.

J Chris Newberg: It’s not gonna fly for the podcast.

Captain Brien: No, no.

J Chris Newberg:You’re not gonna be like, what up circlers? That not gonna work.

Captain Brien: What up roundabouts?

J Chris Newberg: Yeah roundabouts is good, roundabouts is good. That sounds very Beach Boys song.

Captain Brien: So what’s next for you man? You got this new Facebook show which is cool.

J Chris Newberg: Yeah I’m working on Confetti and that’s fun.

Captain Brien: Tell me the premises of the show because I wasn’t sure when you first said it. ‘Cause I’ve never seen it but I know it’s really popular. And I have to now watch it.

J Chris Newberg: Yeah, Confetti’s super popular. It’s a game show that you play on your phone. Your phone is your remote control. It’s touchscreen. Couldn’t be easier. It’s like a 20 minute show. You start off, host comes on, he tells jokes, he gives you shoutouts.

Captain Brien: So when the show, wait, when the show comes live, Facebook has something on your phone that they can touch?

J Chris Newberg: They send you a notification. They’re like hey, Confetti’s live. So you just click on the notification. It takes you to the Facebook page and you just hit play. So it’s not as simple as like an HQ as far as technology ’cause we don’t have our own separate app. There’s actually two steps. However, you know, you follow it and, you know, it gives you the notification, you click on it. Next thing you know you’re playing 10 pop culture trivia questions. Sometimes the shows are themed. Like we had a Star Wars episode the other day and a teacher’s episode yesterday.

Captain Brien: Was that for May the 4th be with you?

J Chris Newberg: It was.

Captain Brien: Ah, I took a good guess there.

J Chris Newberg: Yeah, absolutely. And you know, we get good numbers. And sometimes we’ll give away $50,000. Sometimes we’ll give away 15 and five usually. But it’s definitely, like tonight’s episode is 10,000.

Captain Brien: And you have like hundreds of thousands of people watch.

J Chris Newberg: We do not have that much. We have like around 30,000 per episode live. And then people who watch the show afterwards, it’s like three, 400,000. Yeah, but they can’t win if they’re not playing live.

Captain Brien: They have to play live to win.

J Chris Newberg: To win, yeah.

Captain Brien: So once they see the show though, I can imagine that they’re dying to play live the next time.

J Chris Newberg: Everybody gets hooked.

Captain Brien: Everybody, right.

J Chris Newberg: Yeah I mean it’s like it’s fun.

Captain Brien: This sounds awesome.

J Chris Newberg: It’s a more fun version of HQ.

Captain Brien: I do on Saturday morning, sometimes, I do barter with the captain. So they can barter with me anything they want. So if they want to get vodka, or tickets, or I have gift cards, or I even have like stuff laying around the house. They can barter with me like stuff that they have and I trade ’em out. And people like to do that.

J Chris Newberg: That’s awesome.

Captain Brien: It’s fun, I think that’s really, a lot of entertainment is gonna be coming this way I think.

J Chris Newberg: I mean I think, well there’s a new platform that’s hitting January 1st, 2020. It’s called Quibi. Quibi I want to say is Jeffrey Katzenberg’s new entertainment arm. And there’s over a billion dollars and it’s going to be basically an entertainment app on your phone. But you’re like, oh I don’t want another one. There’s too much stuff. There’s never too much stuff if the stuff that’s coming out is good.

Captain Brien: Correct.

J Chris Newberg: You know, you could have a show on Instagram Story. You could technically watch a Game of Thrones on Instagram Story if it were good enough.

Captain Brien: Correct.

J Chris Newberg: So Quibi’s coming out and it’s like they’re looking for content like crazy. What they’re doing is they’re slimming down different formats. They’re taking like, let’s say you say, like an at midnight show, which before was 24 minutes on Comedy Central. Now they’re gonna do a four minute version of Quibi so people can just watch it for four minutes, eat up the content, like it, go boom. And they’re gonna make just as much money off a billion views on a three minute clip as they’re going to on a 23 minute clip. And my theory for that is like the 5-hour Energy drink has ruined and recreated all content because people don’t have time anymore, or we convince ourselves that we don’t have time because we’re being showered with all of this content. And it’s like, so it’s like, if you say to somebody, oh watch this episode. How long is it is the first thing that they say.

Captain Brien: And then when they start watching, they like it. They like it, oh my God. This guy, what’s he doing? He’s like cuttin’ that guy off. They like it, but why do they immediately already start looking for other things.

J Chris Newberg: ‘Cause it’s habit.

Captain Brien: They go to their phone. They’re like oh I love this clip, watch this. And while you’re watching it, you ever have somebody already scroll to something else. I’m like you just told me to watch it. You can’t even stay on the phone. That’s what my kids do. That’s how they work, their generation.

J Chris Newberg: I think honestly, the most popular channel on Netflix is not watching Netflix, but scrolling looking for different things to watch and not clicking. We have such commitment issues caused by such overwhelming amounts of content.

Captain Brien: I agree, I agree. We’re in Estero, Florida now guys. We just left Fort Myers. We left 105.5 The Beat. We’re heading to 1039, Big Mama And The WiLD Bunch. And this is the Captain’s Log. I got J Chris Newberg performing live at Off The Hook Comedy Club tonight and tomorrow, two shows. It’s a pleasure to have you Chris.

J Chris Newberg: Thanks for having me.

Captain Brien: I love always talking to you. But more importantly, can we get out with a song. Can we crank it up buddy?

J Chris Newberg: Another one?

Captain Brien: This guy’s the best, yes.

J Chris Newberg: ♪ You should call your fans ♪ ♪ Little buddies ♪ that’s it.

Captain Brien: That’s it guys, the Captain’s Log. We’re live and we are out. Be good, we’ll be back tomorrow. Have a good day.


S2:E55 Allergy Awareness



Dr. Daller is back in the #naplescaptainslog to educate us on allergies! And Captain Brien tells us how he really feels about Soy!

Dr. Daller will be joining Captain Brien EVERY Tuesday at 2:30 on the Captains Log to answer any questions you may have! Make sure you tune in and comment with your questions!

Siri can now help you listen to your favorite podcasts! Say things like “play The Captains Log” or “play my newest podcasts.” You can also ask Siri about the podcast that is currently playing and request to be subscribed! Just tell Siri “subscribe to this show!”

Watch Full Video —————> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAFx6xO5dNM

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #naplescaptainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free and Gluten Free Vodka, Barrel Aged Dark Rum, White Rum, and Gin!

Check Dr. Daller out and show him some love at:

PODCAST RECAP

Miss something on one of our episodes of the #naplescaptainslog? Don’t worry we got you covered! Here you will find a full transcript from this episode of the #naplescaptainslog!

Captain Brien: Welcome back. On The Captain’s Log, Doctor Daller is back again. Tuesday, we’re here to talk about food allergies, which is also near and dear to my heart because I feel like I’m allergic to everything.

Dr. Daller: You know over the time people ask me, “How do you guys come up with those ideas?” of those topics that we come up with. So I give all the credit to Captain Brien. Captain Brien is really the producer of this show, and he is going online and looking at what people care about. What people ask Google. What people are looking at Facebook. What people are looking at Instagram. What people care about and what also affect us. I mean–

Captain Brien: Correct.

Dr. Daller: In this case, you know, food allergy–

Captain Brien: I just do this to make sure I get the best medical advice. That’s really all.

Dr. Daller: Free medical advice!

Captain Brien: Yeah, yeah.

Dr. Daller: So Captain Brien said, you know, I have food allergies. Can I say that to the audience?

Captain Brien: Yeah, yeah, no I have, good–

Dr. Daller: I have food allergies and, you know, I’m allergic to soy and and, you know, I have a special interest in that. So I did a lot of homework about it. I did a lot of research. I read a lot about food allergies and I wanted to deliver the best information to the audience.

Captain Brien: Good, I wanna hear it.

Captain Brien: Let’s hear it.

Dr. Daller: And, first of all, I want to tell the audience it’s extraordinarily common. That’s something I was surprised by because when we were kids, we didn’t hear about too many allergies. There was one kid that had a peanut allergy.

Captain Brien: Right

Dr. Daller: But today a lot of kids have peanut allergies. A lot of adults have different allergies from shellfish to fin fish, to pine nuts to regular nuts, to almonds. So it’s, to eggs, to milk.

Captain Brien: Yep.

Dr. Daller: So today we’re going to talk about what’s the difference between–

Captain Brien: Gluten! Everybody says they’re allergic to gluten.

Dr. Daller: Right to wheat specifically. So wheat overall they’re allergic to and some of them to gluten. So we’ll talk about some of the gluten issues. So gluten is not an allergy. It’s a big difference between allergic reaction–

Captain Brien: Correct

Dr. Daller: To intolerance.

Captain Brien: Because if you have an allergy, you have to be allergic to the protein, correct?

Dr. Daller: That’s correct. So but gluten itself is a–

Captain Brien: I know a little bit.

Dr. Daller: Look at that!

Captain Brien: This guy.

Dr. Daller: Look at that, Captain Brien is amazing. He is like an honorary doc. We should call him, hey doc!

Captain Brien: Hey!

Dr. Daller: And today we’ll talk about what’s the difference between intolerance. So, for example, there’s people that are saying, “Well, I can’t, I’m allergic to milk.” Are you lactose intolerant because you’re lacking an enzyme and you have a problem with that? Or you have a real allergic reaction, you get hives, you get diarrhea?

Captain Brien: In the milk, it’s the sugar that they can’t break down.

Dr. Daller: That’s correct.

Captain Brien: And the lactose–

Dr. Daller: For lactose intolerance, it’s the sugar that they cannot break down. So some people are truly allergic to cow’s milk and that’s a protein part.

Captain Brien: But not goat, right?

Dr. Daller: Not goat, that’s correct. How do you know this stuff?

Captain Brien: I know .

Dr. Daller: Captain Brien, I mean every time I’m amazed!

Captain Brien: See, I tell you what!

Dr. Daller: It’s unbelievable.

Captain Brien: And did you know that if you eat cheeses that are hard, dry aged, there’s no lactose in them.

Dr. Daller: That’s correct. That’s, I’m like, I’m impressed. I’m blown away.

Captain Brien: I’m here to impress you Doc.

Dr. Daller: I didn’t expect that at all. I mean I thought that you another comedian, but no. Scientific comedian.

Captain Brien: It’s not all good looks, you know what I mean?

Dr. Daller: That’s right, that’s right.

Captain Brien: Sometimes it’s a few brains mixed in.

Dr. Daller: So, Captain Brien. So people ask, you know, “How do you become allergic to a food, “to peanuts, for example, “or to shell fish or to anything else. “What’s the process?” How do you, do you know that or?

Captain Brien: I do not but I have a question, a follow up question for you.

Dr. Daller: Please, please.

Captain Brien: So, my question is, if you do have a peanut allergy,

Dr. Daller: Yes.

Captain Brien: Why couldn’t, over time, you can, you take a shot for peanuts and your body would not, would it not create–

Dr. Daller: Excellent, excellent, we’ll talk about that. We’ll talk about that.

Captain Brien: A tolerance for that?

Dr. Daller: We’ll talk about that. So, let’s start, I’ll answer that question quickly and then I’m going to expand a little bit more.

Captain Brien: Okay.

Dr. Daller: So when it comes to food allergies the only way out is to avoid that food. There’s no, unlike, you know, penicillin allergies that I can give you a little penicillin and you are going to develop tolerance to that.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Dr. Daller: With food allergy, if you are allergic to soy, you should avoid soy.

Captain Brien: I try, but it’s in everything.

Dr. Daller: It’s very difficult.

Captain Brien: So, why do the FDA let you put soy in every single product?

Dr. Daller: Because only very small percent of the population is allergic to soy. So how many people are allergic, overall, to really truthful–

Captain Brien: Is it the seventh most deadliest allergen on the market?

Dr. Daller: When you have a true allergy, it’s deadly. So 1%, if you are one of the 1%, you can die from an anaphylactic reaction and you’re dead. If you are not making it to the hospital or you don’t have something called an EpiPen, or you take quickly, Benadryl. I mean, you develop an anaphylactic reaction, your blood pressure plummets, your heart rate goes up, your throat, you cannot breathe, you have rash all over your body and you die.

Captain Brien: And they’re irreversible sometimes–

Dr. Daller: Deadly.

Dr. Daller: I mean when you cannot breath, there’s no oxygen, you’re dead.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Dr. Daller: So if you make it to the hospital or you have an EpiPen, sure. So a lot of those parents, you know, with kids, even with adults, they carry an EpiPen with them.

Captain Brien: Correct.

Dr. Daller: Okay.

Captain Brien: My daughter has one–

Dr. Daller: Or you carry some Benadryl.

Captain Brien: ‘Cause she’s allergic to ants.

Dr. Daller: Sure.

Captain Brien: One ant bite, blows up her whole body.

Dr. Daller: Sure, it’s a big deal. It’s a big deal. So how do you develop an allergy to a food. Captain Brien, for example, let’s use an example of an apple. Apple is not very common, not too many people are allergic to apple but when you take a bite of an apple, what happens? It goes into your mouth, it goes down your throat, it go to the digestive system. Your body decides whether it’s going to go and accept that.

Captain Brien: Right.

Dr. Daller: It’s going to give it a pass to absorb all the nutritions, all the chemicals, or whatever there is there that you are digesting. Or it is going to say, “Hey, this is a red alert. “We are not going to accept that. “This is going to be an allergen.” So the protein breakdown, in order to absorb them, the body is saying, “I’m going to accept that” or “I’m not going to accept that”. If it decide that something is not for you, that something is foreign, something is not acceptable, it will put a red tag on it and I don’t want to bore the audience but there is something called IgE-mediated and there are some cells in the body called mass cells.

Captain Brien: I’m going to call it a red tag cell.

Dr. Daller: The red tag cells. And inside that red tag cell there is something called histamine.

Captain Brien: Right.

Dr. Daller: And when those IgE binds on that mass cell they release histamine. You know, Benadryl is an anti-histamine. It blocks that histamine reaction. Same thing with epinephrin. You have a decrease of that histamine. Histamine is something that will give you the hives, will block your airways, will give you the heart rate that is going to go up, your blood pressure will go down. That’s what happens. That’s an anaphylactic reaction when your entire body, all the mass cells are producing. So this is deadly. People ask, you know, give us some example of true food allergies. So the most common true allergy, do you know what is the most common food allergy?

Captain Brien: Uh, dairy?

Dr. Daller: Shellfish.

Captain Brien: Shellfish, yes.

Dr. Daller: Shellfish is the most common but close enough.

Captain Brien: Okay.

Dr. Daller: That’s close enough, no it’s not. No, it’s not close enough but close enough, no. So shellfish is the most common. About 70% of people that have food allergy, which is about 15 million American. 1 in 15 American has some type of a true food allergy. So it’s extremely common. And we’ll talk later on why all of a sudden we’re in–

Captain Brien: I want to know, why?

Dr. Daller: Why.

Captain Brien: Why is there bigger and more allergies everyday?

Dr. Daller: And, you know, when you travel the world and you go to different places, you don’t see it. Today, I go to restaurants with my friend and everybody has a list of stuff to tell the chef, oh I can’t have those, don’t put me this, don’t put wheat and don’t put soy and don’t put that and don’t put that.

Captain Brien: You know what I think?

Dr. Daller: No.

Captain Brien: I think that, you know, you told me everybody has their own beliefs and their superstitions?

Dr. Daller: Right.

Captain Brien: And they know their own medical science?

Dr. Daller: Yeah.

Captain Brien: Mine is, is that, it’s because there’s soy in every single thing we eat that’s manufactured. Do you know why they put the soy in the manufacturing of most of the things?

Dr. Daller: No.

Captain Brien: Because the soy bean plant is so cheap to grow and it grows so fast, that there’s protein in the soy, right?

Dr. Daller: Right.

Captain Brien: Because it’s a bean.

Dr. Daller: Right.

Captain Brien: Right, so you get protein.

Captain Brien: So when you see a box of cookies, there is no protein in those cookies. Do you know how they get it? They put soybean oil in it.

Dr. Daller: Soy.

Captain Brien: To make the protein show on the back that there is some kind of protein for the FDA.

Dr. Daller: I see.

Captain Brien: Meanwhile, it’s killing everyone.

Dr. Daller: I see, that’s a very good hypothesis, that is not based–

Captain Brien: But it’s bullshit .

Dr. Daller: It’s not based on any science. I want the audience to understand. There is no–

Captain Brien: That’s exactly what I think, though.

Dr. Daller: There is no foundation whatsoever for what–

Captain Brien: Exactly.

Dr. Daller: Captain Brien said right now.

Captain Brien: Right .

Dr. Daller: But it sounds very intelligent.

Captain Brien: But it’s good.

Dr. Daller: It sounds very intelligent, has really no base in reality.

Captain Brien: But they do add the soy to bread, and everything else, to keep the ingredients soft.

Dr. Daller: So, I think–

Captain Brien: And it’s in all packaged and manufactured products.

Dr. Daller: I think you have some of the answers. Some of the answer is manufactured and packaged products.

Captain Brien: Yes.

Dr. Daller: So the idea here is processing. In the old days, a lot of people used to cook at home and even in restaurant it was fresh stuff. You know, you make salad, you cut the tomato, you do all this stuff.

Captain Brien: Correct.

Dr. Daller: Today it’s a lot of processed food because we want it to last a long time. The expiration on any box today is, like, 2027. I mean, stuff are going to survive, you know–

Captain Brien: Right, the apocalypse.

Dr. Daller: Nuclear bombs.

Dr. Daller: The apocalypse. I mean, when you have crazy stuff happening, nothing happen to these boxes. So I think it’s a lot of processing. I think it’s a lot in the environment. I think when you go travel the world, when you go to Greece for example, they make everything fresh–

Captain Brien: They have the Mediterranean diet.

Dr. Daller: The have Mediterranean diet.

Captain Brien: Everybody run to the Mediterranean.

Dr. Daller: And people and no don’t come with a list of stuff for the chef, I cannot eat this, I cannot have that, because you don’t see that, that much.

Captain Brien: But they also use 100% Olive Oil.

Dr. Daller: Yes.

Captain Brien: We can’t go and find Olive Oil in 90% of our foods.

Dr. Daller: That’s right.

Captain Brien: It’s all vegetable oil and the basis of the vegetable oil is soybeans.

Dr. Daller: That’s right.

Captain Brien: Again, because it’s cheap.

Dr. Daller: I know you are going back to soy and I know it’s very dear to you.

Captain Brien: I hate it!

Dr. Daller: But soy, I think, is part of the problem. I think, overall, the processing–

Captain Brien: Yes.

Dr. Daller: The fact that we are not using natural stuff is some of the problem. I mean, and again, we can go back. We did a show here, a podcast here, about plastic bottling and all the plastic stuff that we use.

Captain Brien: Right.

Dr. Daller: And BPA and all this stuff. It’s all related, it’s all connected somehow. Why do we have such an, why food allergies are now in the limelight? I think it’s environmental, some of it. I think some of it is genetic. I think some of it is lack of breastfeeding. You know, when a lot of the mothers now are working, they don’t have the time, it’s a big deal. So there are many, many. I don’t think they are going to do any studies because there is no money involved here.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Dr. Daller: Don’t you understand?

Captain Brien: You always go back to money.

Dr. Daller: Because, unfortunately, that’s how capitalism work. How you going to do a study without money? You cannot do a study. Nobody will sponsor a study,

Captain Brien: But what if they come out with a pill, like they do with the Benadryl?

Dr. Daller: So, unlike, unlike, you know–

Captain Brien: And lactose, there’s no money in the lactose pill. You could buy a hundred of ’em for twenty bucks.

Dr. Daller: Yes but that’s different. So lactose intolerance pills are different than allergic reaction to peanuts. So with allergic reaction to peanuts your only way out is to avoid peanuts. There’s no treatment, there’s no pill, there is nothing you can do. You have to avoid peanuts. You have to avoid, if you are allergic to cashews, you have to avoid cashews. If you are allergic to shellfish, you have to avoid shellfish. And now, some people say, well my allergic reaction is very mild, like–

Captain Brien: They say, if you are allergic to almonds, you’re allergic to what?

Dr. Daller: If you are allergic to almonds you are allergic to all tree nuts. So, you’re allergic to cashews–

Captain Brien: So what’s the closest, the next closest thing is poison ivy right?

Dr. Daller: Is that right?

Captain Brien: That’s what they say, it’s just one–

Dr. Daller: Captain Brien, I mean today you prove it.

Captain Brien: One degree off and we have poison ivy.

Dr. Daller: Is that right?

Captain Brien: And so you’re very highly allergic to poison ivy and almonds are very bad for you as well.

Dr. Daller: Okay.

Captain Brien: ‘Cause I’m allergic to poison ivy as well.

Dr. Daller: I didn’t know that.

Captain Brien: Like, really bad.

Dr. Daller: I didn’t know that. A human being are very, very closely related to rabbits but we are not rabbits.

Captain Brien: This is true.

Dr. Daller: We are not rabbits.

Captain Brien: This is true.

Dr. Daller: So, again, the only way is to avoid, avoid all these allergens.

Captain Brien: Hi, Amy, Kelsey, Danielle. What’s going on ladies? Doctor Daller’s giving me the inside scoop today. You can find Doctor Daller at Revitalize Lounge. He’s in Fort Myers. The guy, not only does he do men’s and women’s well-being, sexual health, but he just, basically, will give you a beautiful diet. His facility’s amazing, I come every Tuesday, we do this show. This is The Captain’s Log. How can they find ya on Instagram?

Dr. Daller: Daller MD.

Captain Brien: Daller.

Dr. Daller: @dallermd.

Captain Brien: Let’s spell Daller.

Dr. Daller: Daller. D-A-L-L-E-R-M-D.

Captain Brien: Yes.

Dr. Daller: And on Instagram, on Facebook. You know, follow me and well, whatever you guys need or follow Captain Brien–

Captain Brien: You can DM both of us or whatever.

Dr. Daller: Absolutely.

Captain Brien: We’ll get you your questions out. We’ll answer ’em on The Captain’s Log. We love to hear what you guys have to say but today, it’s all about allergies.

Dr. Daller: And, again, if you guys have any topics that you guys want to talk about. You know, something interesting, something that you think everybody, not something very specific just for you. Something that everybody, you know, wants to ask and they’re embarrassed, or they’re not embarrassed and they want to know more, please, let us know. We would love to talk about all these topics. I mean, that’s what we do. Captain Brien is delivering here content that is remarkable and free!

Captain Brien: And free, I don’t charge for this.

Dr. Daller: Unbelievable.

Captain Brien: Can’t beat that.

Dr. Daller: Unbelievable.

Captain Brien: They say nothing’s free except water and air.

Dr. Daller: That’s right.

Captain Brien: The Captain’s Log’s free.

Dr. Daller: That’s right.

Captain Brien: That’s amazing.

Dr. Daller: That’s right.

Captain Brien: All right.

Dr. Daller: That’s right.

Captain Brien: So we were moving along on the process of finding out how these allergies started. You’re saying, basically, the environment. You’re saying that, what?

Dr. Daller: So I’m saying, for example, if you go to China very few Chinese are allergic to peanuts. So, I looked why? The Chinese, they put peanuts on everything.

Captain Brien: Everything.

Dr. Daller: Everything is peanuts.

Dr. Daller: So I did some research and I realized that the Chinese, they either deep fry their peanuts or they boil their peanuts. We dry fry them, so it–

Captain Brien: And what does that do? That breaks down the protein.

Dr. Daller: That, what?–

Captain Brien: Hey!

Dr. Daller: Captain Brien!

Captain Brien: So when you cook this–

Dr. Daller: The nature, the nature, the protein, break down the protein so when you cook it in the water, or anything like that, the protein go away. Some of them are denatured. There’s less allergens in them.

Captain Brien: And did you know that 100% of the oil that Chick-fil-A uses was peanut oil?

Dr. Daller: I didn’t know that.

Captain Brien: And so everyone that eats Chick-fil-A, they don’t die of peanuts, right?

Dr. Daller: Right.

Captain Brien: You know?

Dr. Daller: Because it’s deep fried there.

Captain Brien: Yeah, because they heat the peanut oil.

Dr. Daller: Yeah.

Captain Brien: It’s reyhydronated as well, right?

Dr. Daller: Yeah.

Captain Brien: So they take out the protein.

Dr. Daller: Amazing, I didn’t know that.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Dr. Daller: Who else uses peanut oil, the burger place?

Captain Brien: Five Guys.

Dr. Daller: Five Guys.

Dr. Daller: The burger place.

Captain Brien: They use it.

Captain Brien: Five Guys and Chick-fil-A. And a little bit of knowledge is that Chick-fil-A went into panic mode when Five Guys started expanding and they said, hey, we’re going to figure out a different way to fry our stuff because if Five Guys is starting to use all of the peanut oil, it’s gonna to drive the price way up and we may have to look at something else.

Dr. Daller: Wow, I didn’t know that.

Captain Brien: Well a little bit of something, little bit of knowledge, see Doc.

Dr. Daller: That’s amazing, amazing. Normally, they say a little bit of knowledge is dangerous. Not in Captain Brien case.

Captain Brien: Yeah, yeah.

Captain Brien: I learned that at the Five Guys plant with the owner.

Dr. Daller: Really?

Captain Brien: Yeah, like I took the actual, like, I went to–

Dr. Daller: Where is it, where is the place?

Captain Brien:Um, we went to Washington in DC.

Dr. Daller: Yeah, wow, wow

Captain Brien: I took the whole three day course on how to open up a Five Guys and that’s one of the things they tell you. They were working on that as we speak, as the class was going on, is what they were doing was they were negotiating international pricing on peanut oils.

Dr. Daller: So, I let you into a secret. From time to time, I do go to Five Guys but don’t tell anybody.

Captain Brien: I used to love Five Guys.

Dr. Daller: Oh, it’s on live! It’s live on Facebook.

Captain Brien: So while we’re talking about Five Guys, we did a little study recently, me and my son.

Dr. Daller: Yeah.

Captain Brien: Because I like to have a big, thick burger.

Dr. Daller: Yeah.

Captain Brien: So I said what’s better? The triple, you know, you can get three?

Dr. Daller: Yeah, yeah.

Captain Brien: Not two.

Dr. Daller: Yeah.

Captain Brien: The standard is two, right?

Dr. Daller: Yeah.

Captain Brien: I said, “What’s better? “Maybe a triple or should I get two singles?” ‘Cause one doesn’t fill me up.

Dr. Daller: Right.

Captain Brien: So, I have to have two burgers at least or the triple. So, I did the triple and the ratio of meat to burger?

Dr. Daller: Yeah.

Captain Brien: Not as good as a single, as two singles.

Dr. Daller: Yeah.

Captain Brien: I prefer the two singles.

Dr. Daller: I agree with that. So I did, we went last week to Jimmy P’s.

Captain Brien: Oh yeah?

Dr. Daller: And I did the double. And I didn’t enjoy it as much as the single and I said next time I’m going to have two singles. And it’s funny.

Captain Brien: That’s true.

Dr. Daller: Yeah, it’s like–

Captain Brien: And then you gotta do extra cheese. I gotta have a cheese, like, cheese to beef ratio has to be proper, too.

Dr. Daller: Yeah.

Captain Brien: I’m very particular.

Dr. Daller: So if you eat a burger, eat a good burger.

Captain Brien: Yeah, absolutely.

Dr. Daller: And so that’s the point, I mean go, if you are —

Captain Brien: Because you can eat a cheap burger and it’s loaded with soy.

Dr. Daller: Correct.

Captain Brien: They use the soy protein.

Dr. Daller: Right.

Captain Brien: And it’s much cheaper than having actual protein from beef. So they add the soy to that and you’re getting garbage.

Dr. Daller: Yeah.

Captain Brien: You’re not getting meat.

Dr. Daller: Yeah.

Captain Brien: Absolutely.

Captain Brien: You’re getting chemicals.

Dr. Daller: So, yeah, so I love it. I enjoy Jimmy P’s. I enjoy, you know, Five Guys from time to time. Why not? We live only once.

Captain Brien: That’s right, you have to.

Dr. Daller: You have to enjoy that.

Captain Brien: And what did you do with the side orders at Jimmy P’s?

Dr. Daller: I had the sweet potato fries and–

Captain Brien: You went all in, Doc.

Dr. Daller: I went but, you know, when you go, when you have bacon.

Captain Brien: A cheat day?

Dr. Daller: You have to have drool. You have to drool when you eat it. If you go crazy, go all the way.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Dr. Daller: Either don’t do it because it’s a waste.

Captain Brien: You get those calories.

Dr. Daller: No matter what.

Captain Brien: An extra thousand calories ain’t gonna kill ya.

Dr. Daller: No–

Captain Brien: After you go over the 800 meal calorie count.

Dr. Daller: But enjoy it. Have a great burger.

Captain Brien: You better just enjoy it.

Dr. Daller: Why not? Why not?

Captain Brien: I agree with that, I agree with that.

Dr. Daller: Absolutely.

Captain Brien: So, what is… right now, the FDA doing about all these food allergies? Is there something that’s going on?

Dr. Daller: You know, honestly, they’re not doing much. The government, in every country. So I looked at not just FDA. I looked at the UK, what they’re doing. What they’re doing everywhere. So food allergies are on the rise. A lot of people have problems, like, people are dying from food allergies.

Captain Brien: Correct, yeah.

Dr. Daller: I mean, this is serious, this is very serious. 1% of people with food allergies, there is a chance, and a lot of people say, you know, I have mild food allergy. So if you have a food allergy sometime it can manifest itself as mild and the next time you can have an anaphylactic reaction. You can have–

Captain Brien: Really?

Dr. Daller: Yes.

Captain Brien: I challenge it everyday and I’m like, ah, I’m gonna eat that and I’m gonna probably end up taking a Benadryl.

Dr. Daller: And you shouldn’t.

Captain Brien: I should not.

Dr. Daller: You should not.

Dr. Daller: Why, what for, what’s the purpose of that? I mean, if you told me–

Captain Brien: ‘Cause I’m a glutton for punishment. I like good stuff.

Dr. Daller: I think Captain Brien lived in biblical times. So no need, you can really cut off that part of your life. This is not an essential stuff that you’re saying, you know what, I cannot live without. And, you know, just think about it if you had true allergies to cow milk or true allergy to eggs, that’s a big deal. It’s much more common, much more you see than everything.

Captain Brien: Oh you think there’s more eggs than soy?

Dr. Daller: What do you think?

Captain Brien: No.

Dr. Daller: I think–

Captain Brien: Did you know even gum has soy in it? What kind of milk is in there?

Dr. Daller: Yeah, that’s true.

Captain Brien: Soy is in everything. Everything, it drives me crazy.

Dr. Daller: You know, it’s like when you come close to something, you realize it’s everywhere.

Captain Brien: You can’t have the salad dressing. You can’t eat anything. I could keep going. You can’t eat any desserts.

Dr. Daller: Olive oil.

Captain Brien: You can’t have cakes.

Dr. Daller: I mean, you should not have salad dressing anyways.

Captain Brien: You can’t have a cookie. You can’t have chocolate.

Dr. Daller: Olive oil, lemon, salt and pepper. There’s no soy in any one of these. This should be your salad dressing.

Captain Brien: Yeah, it’s true.

Dr. Daller: You should not use none of these stuff.

Captain Brien: That’s true.

Captain Brien: That I agree with.

Dr. Daller: You know, the processed. You know, the processing is key. Avoid the processing. If you do it clean, there’s no problem whatsoever.

Captain Brien: Well guys, we brought you The Captain’s Log. I got Doctor Daller, once again, with all the knowledge for you guys. Free of charge, how can you go wrong? Say hello anytime, drop a message and thanks for watching The Captain’s Log. We’ll be back tomorrow with J Chris Newberg and then, I’ll be live, and we’re doing the man panel on Thursday.

Dr. Daller: Oh, fantastic!

Dr. Daller: Fantastic, that’s gonna be fun.

Captain Brien: And we’re bring Josh Pray.

Dr. Daller: Okay.

Captain Brien: That’ll be excellent on Thursday. And then, on Friday, I have Ahmed Ahmed. And we’re gonna wrap it up, that’s the week guys. This is the man, Captain Brien, we’re gonna see you on the man panel. We’re gonna see you live, tomorrow. We’re having a good time. Doctor Daller and I, we’re out.

Dr. Daller: Bye bye, take care.

Captain Brien: See ya.


S2:E54 Show Me The Money



Actor and Comedian Jay Mohr shows some skin on this episode of the #naplescaptainslog! Ladies don’t miss this episode! They also discuss how Jay became a wrestling coach, a life coach, and make a fishing wager!

Siri can now help you listen to your favorite podcasts! Say things like “play The Captains Log” or “play my newest podcasts.” You can also ask Siri about the podcast that is currently playing and request to be subscribed! Just tell Siri “subscribe to this show!”

Watch Full Video —————> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-JfgW3jVER8

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #naplescaptainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free and Gluten Free Vodka, Barrel Aged Dark Rum, White Rum, and Gin!

Check Jay Mohr out and show them some love at:


S2:E53 Krazy Krops



Mila Bazley, the founder of Krazy Krops Produce joins Captain Brien to discuss how she started the first ugly produce home delivery service in Naples, Florida!

Siri can now help you listen to your favorite podcasts! Say things like “play The Captains Log” or “play my newest podcasts.” You can also ask Siri about the podcast that is currently playing and request to be subscribed! Just tell Siri “subscribe to this show!”

Watch Full Video —————> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pP18uTstEyM

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #naplescaptainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free and Gluten Free Vodka, Barrel Aged Dark Rum, White Rum, and Gin!

Check Mila Bazley and KrazyKrops Produce out and show them some love at:


S2:E52 Joselito Da Puppet!!



We have a first on the #naplescaptainslog today! Our first puppet, Joselito Da Puppet, makes his debut appearance! Joselito teaches Captain Brien some spanish lingo, discusses his upcoming tour, and his Puerto Rican heritage!

Siri can now help you listen to your favorite podcasts! Say things like “play The Captains Log” or “play my newest podcasts.” You can also ask Siri about the podcast that is currently playing and request to be subscribed! Just tell Siri “subscribe to this show!”

Watch Full Video —————> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jifzVEQm8pY

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #naplescaptainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free and Gluten Free Vodka, Barrel Aged Dark Rum, White Rum, and Gin!

Check Joselito Da Puppet out and show him some love at: