Tag Archives: comedian

Episode 234: Comedian Donnell Rawlings aka Ashy Larry!



Comedian Donnell Rawlings aka “Ashy Larry” joins Captain Brien on the #naplescaptainlog to discuss his military experience, his time on the Dave Chappelle Show, and his comedic background!

Watch Full Video —————>  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tY_eIEAsIB4

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Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free and Gluten Free Vodka, Barrel Aged Dark Rum, and Gin! You can find more information about Captain Brien Spirits at https://captainbrien.com/

Check Donnell Rawlings out and show him some love at:


Episode 233: Come get hypnotized with Doug T!



Comedian and Hypnotist Doug T. joins Captain Brien to discuss hypnosis, Doug’s career, and even how Mike Tyson used hypnosis when fighting!

Watch Full Video —————> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ohAmUa5baI&t=636s

Siri can now help you listen to your favorite podcasts! Say things like “play The Captains Log” or “play my newest podcasts.” You can also ask Siri about the podcast that is currently playing and request to be subscribed! Just tell Siri “subscribe to this show!”

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!

Check Doug T. out and show him some love at:


Episode 230: Comedian Josh Pray challenges Captain Brien to see who is the most athletic!



Comedian Josh Pray joins Captain Brien! They discuss how Josh Pray has become the “Jeep Man,” discuss Josh Pray’s current projects, and Captain Brien and Josh Pray create an athletes challenge to see how the best athlete is!

Siri can now help you listen to your favorite podcasts! Say things like “play The Captains Log” or “play my newest podcasts.” You can also ask Siri about the podcast that is currently playing and request to be subscribed! Just tell Siri “subscribe to this show!”

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!

Check Josh Pray out and show him some love at:


Episode 229: Comedian James Davis!



Comedian and Game Show Host James Davis joins Captain Brien to discuss his upcoming game show on Netflix, his golf game, social media and spring break!

Siri can now help you listen to your favorite podcasts! Say things like “play The Captains Log” or “play my newest podcasts.” You can also ask Siri about the podcast that is currently playing and request to be subscribed! Just tell Siri “subscribe to this show!”

Watch Full Video —————> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZTZyC5o8HN0&t=29s

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!

Check James Davis out and show him some love at:


Episode 228: Transcendental Meditation with Comedian Mike Quu!



Comedian Mike Quu joins Captain Brien to discuss his 80 city tour, how life is changing as an up-and-coming comedian, and tells us his secret to staying stress free with a busy life by using transcendental meditation!

Siri can now help you listen to your favorite podcasts! Say things like “play The Captains Log” or “play my newest podcasts.” You can also ask Siri about the podcast that is currently playing and request to be subscribed! Just tell Siri “subscribe to this show!”

Watch Full Video —————> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQSY_-mDNH0&t=304s

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!

Check Comedian Mike Quu out and show him some love at:


Episode 226: Comedian Erik Myers!



Comedian Erik Myers is back with Captain Brien! Erik tells us about his process of writing jokes and the two reminisce about the 90s!

Siri can now help you listen to your favorite podcasts! Say things like “play The Captains Log” or “play my newest podcasts.” You can also ask Siri about the podcast that is currently playing and request to be subscribed! Just tell Siri “subscribe to this show!”

Watch Full Video —————> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tsdImo9VZOU

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!

Check Erik Myers out and show him some love at:


Episode 224: Comedians Richy Leis and Kristina Montouri



Comedians Richy Leis and Kristina Montouri join Captain Brien! They kick off the laughs with a beat box free style, discuss famous DMs they’ve received, and talk about psychic readings they’ve experienced!

Siri can now help you listen to your favorite podcasts! Say things like “play The Captains Log” or “play my newest podcasts.” You can also ask Siri about the podcast that is currently playing and request to be subscribed! Just tell Siri “subscribe to this show!”

Watch Full Video —————> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpxXZthsiEQ

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!

Check Comedians Richy Leis and Kristina Montouri out and show them some love at:


Episode 222: Dry Bar Comedy Tour!



The comedians from the Dry Bar Comedy Tour join Captain Brien! They discuss how the Dry Bar Comedy Tour started, how to make viral videos, and what it’s like being a “clean” comic!

Siri can now help you listen to your favorite podcasts! Say things like “play The Captains Log” or “play my newest podcasts.” You can also ask Siri about the podcast that is currently playing and request to be subscribed! Just tell Siri “subscribe to this show!”

Watch Full Video —————> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IgDFshJU4B0&t=607s

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!

Check out the comedians from the Dry Bar Comedy Tour and show them some love at:


Episode 220 The Captain’s Log with Kristina Montouri and Captain Brien!



Let us introduce you to the very funny Kristina Montouri! Talk about her life in Naples and what to expect from her comedy!

Siri can now help you listen to your favorite podcasts! Say things like “play The Captains Log” or “play my newest podcasts.” You can also ask Siri about the podcast that is currently playing and request to be subscribed! Just tell Siri “subscribe to this show!”

Watch Full Video —————>  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfQeLoLvnOg

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!

Check Comedian Kristina Montouri out and show her some love at:

  • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kristinamontuoriwx/
  • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kristinamontuori
  • Twitter: https://twitter.com/kmontuori

PODCAST RECAP

Miss something on one of our episodes of the #naplescaptainslog? Don’t worry we got you covered! Here you will find a full transcript from this episode of the #naplescaptainslog!

Captain Brien: Hey guys, we’re back on the Captain’s Log with Kristina Montuori.

Kristina Montouri: Hey.

Captain Brien: How are you, comedian extraordinaire?

Kristina Montouri I’m great, I’m really excited to actually be meeting you in person. I feel like I already know you from all of the Captain’s Logs I watch.

Captain Brien: Have you been watching?

Kristina Montouri Yeah.

Captain Brien: Oh come on, I’ve gotta give you a test then.

Kristina Montouri: You’re so entertaining.

Captain Brien: What’s your favorite?

Kristina Montouri: Oh, I haven’t watched all of them, you know what I mean? Oh man, oh gosh, what’s his name?

Captain Brien: You should put your seat belt on do you have it on?

Kristina Montouri: It’s on. It’s, on, it’s on.

Captain Brien: Oh okay, don’t scare me.

Kristina Montouri: I’m livin’ on the edge with it behind me but I’ll put it right here.

Captain Brien: Everyone will complain, they’ll start messaging us.

Kristina Montouri: I’ll put it here.

Captain Brien: She doesn’t have her seatbelt on. You’re driving dangerous.

Kristina Montouri: That’s alright, I got it. Safety first.

Captain Brien: You’re good, you’re good.

Kristina Montouri: I got it, safety first.

Captain Brien: You’re just tryin to show off.

Kristina Montouri: Pretty much.

Captain Brien: My chef is letting me go. Hey, Chef Gisson, hey. So, how long you been doing comedy?

Kristina Montouri: I’ve been doing comedy for a couple of years performing comedy, but I’ve been writing comedy since forever. I used to be a weather lady, in that the jokes just write themselves, you know.

Captain Brien: So where were you a weather lady?

Kristina Montouri: In Shreveport, Louisiana first. And then Roanoke, Virginia, which is my hometown.

Captain Brien: And what brought you to this area?

Kristina Montouri: This area. So when I was 15, I came with my family to Naples. We had a Groupon for La Playa, actually.

Captain Brien: Really?

Kristina Montouri: And then yeah. And then my dad was always real big into real estate interstate, real estate. So got a couple of spots in Naples Park, we just came back for vacationing and then just this year I decided to fully embrace the nomad lifestyle and just go where the wind blows. Wherever I feel like I wanna be.

Kristina Montouri: So right now I’m right here.

Captain Brien: And you kinda spend the winters right now you’re gonna be like the youngest snow bird ever.

Kristina Montouri: Pretty much. And I’m not exactly a snow bird, I’m going with nomad, because I was just in Atlanta a couple weeks ago. Probably go back, I have a couple shows in Roanoke, Virginia.

Captain Brien: So you’re kind on a road comic.

Kristina Montouri: In a way, yeah.

Captain Brien: That’s the move.

Kristina Montouri: It’s not a set schedule, I kind of just go, I meet people, such as yourself, get shows, have some fun, when it gets dull, move on to the next spot.

Captain Brien: So you are an aspiring full-time, you wanna be a comic on tour, tell me what the struggles are.

Kristina Montouri: The struggles.

Captain Brien: I can tell you how to help. I can help you.

Kristina Montouri: Okay. Right now I’m having so much fun I haven’t really ran into too many struggles other than my own.

Captain Brien: But the big paid gigs obviously are not happening yet. I mean we have a big show coming up March 2nd at Off The Hook and there’s gonna be a bunch of comics, it’s a showcase show, that’d be great. But I mean, you’re not selling out theaters.

Kristina Montouri: Right, right, right. I also haven’t really invested as much time as I probably should’ve to selling out theaters because I’m having too much fun layin around on the beach.

Captain Brien: Is that the thing?

Kristina Montouri: But here’s the thing. I’ve been kind of goin with what feels right, what feels good in the moment, havin fun with my life because I’d spent too much time just doin what everybody else wanted me to do. But it actually put me in the perfect spot cause I don’t know if you remember, about a year ago came down for your Open Mic Competition, right? So I was down here for that. And I was on the beach, just hangin out, I was writing comedy.

Captain Brien: Say hi to Laura. Hey

Kristina Montouri: Hello Laura.

Captain Brien: Hey Bruce, what’s goin on guys, how are ya? Thanks for watchin.

Kristina Montouri: I love it when people tune in.

Captain Brien: Yeah they say hi.

Kristina Montouri: Yeah, hey guys.

Captain Brien: So you were on the beach.

Kristina Montouri: Yeah I was on the beach, just writing, I had I think the caption was zen out. That’s kind of a play on that very ancient quote rock out with your cock out. I think Blondie said that.

Captain Brien: That’s true.

Kristina Montouri: So yeah zen out with my pen out and you saw that, it was on Instagram and you just commented on it. Hey if you’re in town, I’ve got a guest spot tonight, and it was an hour later.

Captain Brien: That’s cool. How did that even happen?

Kristina Montouri: It was the weirdest thing, it was the like the right spot at the right time and I was thinking I’m all sandy, I’ve been at the beach all day. I can’t be at a show in an hour, there’s no way but I’m like you know what, I gotta make it happen. I ran to the beach, so I had to run back, I’m all sweaty, I’m like alright, I gotta be there in 15 minutes, it takes about 15 minutes to get there.

Captain Brien: I didn’t know any of this. You were very quiet about this.

Kristina Montouri: I was actin like it was all chill. And I’m like okay, I have 30 minutes to get there, it takes about 15 minutes to get there, I’m gonna call an Uber so I can get ready in the car. So I get all my stuff, I’m in the car, the window’s down, I’m drying my hair. I didn’t even wash my hair it’s still wet from the beach. I’m drying my hair out the window, gonna get there, I rush in, I’m like I’ll be able to throw some makeup on or look kinda decent when I get in there. I’ll go to the bathroom, chill out. But I get there and Stacey Steele is hosting, meet her, she’s amazing.

Captain Brien: She’s great.

Kristina Montouri: She’s a friend of mine now. So that’s why all this just worked out by itself. She’s like you’re up in five minutes. I’m like, excuse me, what?

Captain Brien: Wait, so I guess I didn’t even know. So how much time did you have at the time?

Kristina Montouri: She gave me I believe ten minutes.

Captain Brien: Ten minutes. But how much material did you have? Did I ask you that?

Kristina Montouri: Did you ask how much material?

Captain Brien: Did I ask you oh are you okay with doin five or ten or something? No I can’t take that call. Sorry guys. I needed to take that call, that was my attorney, but I can’t take it. Alright, so you had how much material?

Kristina Montouri: I have hours of material.

Captain Brien: At the time?

Kristina Montouri: Yeah.

Captain Brien: Everyone says they have hours of material but they really don’t. How much funny material? I could talk for hours too. But how much funny material did you think you had?

Kristina Montouri: At the time, maybe an hour.

Captain Brien: Okay. But you still weren’t headlining. You headline some gigs now, yes?

Kristina Montouri: Yes. I also produce some of my own shows in Roanoke, Virginia. We had one sell out show. It was over 200 people, really fun time.

Captain Brien: Very cool.

Kristina Montouri: Yeah we brought in traveling comedian, his name’s Cliff Cash, really good. Yeah, follow Cliff Cash. He’s an awesome comedian. But he came out to our show to headline. Kinda co-headline.

Captain Brien: Nice. So the future of comedy for you is going to be what?

Kristina Montouri: The future for comedy for me is going to be – it’s hard to say because I’m telling you now, I’m just doing what I wanna do in the moment and seeing where that takes me. Not making any plans. The only plan is to live in the moment.

Captain Brien: She’s independently wealthy, and she doesn’t have to work. Can we get married? Let’s do that now.

Kristina Montouri: I’m a bougie bum. I’m a bougie bum, I’m just

Captain Brien: How does that work?

Kristina Montouri: A bougie bum. No I’m not. I rent my house, Air BnB. And I’ve been hanging with my brother’s house. So that’s how I’ve been funding some things and I have some other investments too.

Captain Brien: Very cool. So as far as your comedy, tell us what we can expect.

Kristina Montouri: What can you expect from my comedy?

Captain Brien: I’ve seen a bunch, but I wanna know what you –

Kristina Montouri: So I have material from – I used to be married, I just got a divorce too, so that’s another thing. It just changed my life completely, just turned it upside down. The Etch-A-Sketch. This cool thing and just shake it all up and now I’m drawin a new thing and I don’t know what it’s gonna be but we’ll figure it out together. My comedy is very real, I do not censor myself, I have –

Captain Brien: Which no comic should.

Kristina Montouri: They shouldn’t but some people do. You know what I mean? I censored myself for one show because it was a really religious crowd and I totally regretted doing that.

Captain Brien: There is scenarios where you’re booked on a show and the opener will be told look, you can’t be super dirty. There’s two reasons why comics don’t want comedians dirty up front. Because a comedian who is clean wants the whole show to be clean. A comedian that’s dirty, wants the whole impact of them being dirty and catching all the jokes that are dirty to them cause they’re the headliner. They don’t want an opener to go up and use a bunch of material that already has the crowd used to being dirty. They want the shock factor of doing that.

Kristina Montouri: Yeah you need to have that flow through the whole show

Captain Brien: Correct.

Kristina Montouri: Whatever vibe you wanna have for each show. Exactly. And I’m glad you brought that up too. So yeah, I think there is offensive and dirty humor and things that you can say in certain ways that do offend people for no reason. And then there are other things that you can say and joke about that kind of challenge people’s current beliefs, it makes them a little bit uncomfortable, but in a good way. You’re never really learnin anything until you’re kind of out of your comfort zone. So the comedians that I aspire to be like are the comedians that say something that you’re not exactly comfortable with in the moment but then you think hey, they had a point.

Captain Brien: And who is that?

Kristina Montouri: I might learn something.

Captain Brien: Who do you like the most?

Kristina Montouri: Anthony Jeselnik.

Captain Brien: Oh, he’s a buddy of mine, he’s great.

Kristina Montouri: If you are offended by what he’s saying it’s probably because it’s a little meta for you. He’s actually not racist, sexist, any of those things. He’s saying things ironically, it’s very intelligent humor.

Kristina Montouri: So that’s what I try to do.

Captain Brien: Out of all the comedians that are touring right now, he’s pretty much the only one that can get away with that.

Kristina Montouri: Oh yeah. Yeah he’s great. And then Nikki Glaser does sexual humor in a very intelligent way also.

Captain Brien: Yup, Nikki’s great. The first time I had Nikki, she opened for Amy Schumer. That was a hell of a show.

Kristina Montouri: I just read Amy Scumer’s book and that was a great book.

Captain Brien: I have not. And I won’t cause I don’t read a lot.

Kristina Montouri: She’s a very interesting person.

Captain Brien: I just don’t.

Kristina Montouri: I listen to audio books, honestly.

Captain Brien: I really don’t.

Kristina Montouri: I listen to audio books more than anything. But back to the sexual humor. I don’t tell dirty jokes, I tell sexual jokes, because sex is not dirty. It’s a human thing, and I think keeping something in the dark and hiding it actually is kind of dangerous. Kids are going to figure it out whether you like it or not, so you can either be open about it and admit that it’s a normal human thing, or you can let them navigate through Pornhub and figure it out themselves. And it’s probably not gonna be the right thing.

Captain Brien: Right. They’re gonna venture across something that probably isn’t a traditional technique.

Kristina Montouri: Yeah. When I was a kid I was sheltered, so this is kinda coming from a personal past. My parents did not speak of sex at all. It was just you did not talk about it. Which of course, what are you gonna do when you can’t talk about something? You’re gonna be very interested in it.

Captain Brien: You’re gonna be interested.

Kristina Montouri: Oh my gosh.

Captain Brien: So you’re very sexually active. Ladies and gentlemen, she’s extremely horny on the Captain’s Log, we appreciate that, and she’s gonna be on stage, you can come see her March 2nd. Don’t miss her. No, I’m just kidding.

Kristina Montouri: I am 30, that means hormonally I’m basically a 17-year-old boy.

Captain Brien: Does that work that way?

Kristina Montouri: My doctor says.

Captain Brien: They all say that, but does it really kick in at 30?

Kristina Montouri: Well I’m also recently divorced so it could just be like party time.

Captain Brien: You’re on the party train.

Kristina Montouri: Yeah, I’m on the no pun intended. Or was it?

Captain Brien: That’s funny. So 30 is the magic number or what or was it gradual? Or was it the divorce and it went right to the moon?

Kristina Montouri: It was probably more the divorce. It was just like I don’t know –

Captain Brien: How long were you married?

Kristina Montouri: I was married for eight years.

Captain Brien: Eight years.

Kristina Montouri: Yeah, I got married young.

Captain Brien: Really?

Kristina Montouri: I got married at 22.

Captain Brien: Wow.

Kristina Montouri: Because my family was very you gotta save it for marriage, you gotta save it for marriage. And there were a couple times where I didn’t save it for marriage. But overall –

Captain Brien: Throughout the marriage?

Kristina Montouri: What do you mean throughout the marriage? Overall –

Captain Brien: You didn’t save it for just for him while you were married?

Kristina Montouri: No, no, no, no, no.

Kristina Montouri: I can’t understand why you’re not married any more. I meant before, before, before.

Captain Brien: Oh, okay, okay I was confused. Sorry, sorry, I was confused.

Kristina Montouri: When you’re younger, you wanna do what your family thinks is the right thing so I went to Catholic school, and they were like Jesus doesn’t want you to have sex unless it’s in the butt and that’s the loophole.

Captain Brien: So you got married at 22 but you were sexually active at what age?

Kristina Montouri: Oh, 19. But it was only those couple of times.

Captain Brien: Was it with the same guy or no?

Kristina Montouri: Yeah.

Captain Brien: Really?

Kristina Montouri: So you married your not high school sweetheart, but close to it? Oh yeah.

Captain Brien: So yeah. So that’s another reason why I think people need to relax a little bit. I married a great guy. Stand up guy, I highly recommend him to anyone who’s looking for a husband

Captain Brien: Did you get half his shit?

Kristina Montouri: No.

Captain Brien: What do you mean no? How does that happen?

Kristina Montouri: I know, my lawyer said I was stupid.

Captain Brien: How do I do that?

Kristina Montouri: Here’s the thing, we both had our own shit because –

Captain Brien: Okay, so you came carrying groceries, and you guys both left with goodie bags.

Kristina Montouri: We both left with our own goodie bags.

Captain Brien: Okay, okay.

Kristina Montouri: Yes, we both were fine. I could’ve gotten alimony and all that other stuff but I just thought that was bullshit, you know?

Captain Brien: Because you didn’t work through your marriage?

Kristina Montouri: I did.

Captain Brien: So how are you gonna still?

Kristina Montouri: At the time, I had just quit my job. I had just decided to change my life completely. I quit my job as a weatherwoman.

Captain Brien: Cause you don’t have any kids.

Kristina Montouri: No kids, no kids.

Captain Brien: Yeah, so you’re free.

Kristina Montouri: Very free.

Captain Brien: You’re not married, you’re free, you’re just humpin all around Florida right now.

Captain Brien: Anything you can do you’re just – she’s available guys, she’s available. Just hit her up and go ahead give your Instagram and your Facebook if you’d like for sure.

Kristina Montouri: Yeah my Instagram and Facebook both just my name, Kristina Montuori.

Captain Brien: You gotta spell Montuori, cause there’s no way I could spell it.

Kristina Montouri: M-O-N-T-U-O-R-I. And I’m tagged at the top of this post.

Captain Brien: Yeah exactly, yeah you could just follow her.

Kristina Montouri: So you can just click that and follow it, find it on Instagram, the whole thing. I just gotta be a real person, I don’t care what anyone thinks of me anymore, I’m good with myself, and you notice I don’t do the makeup thing anymore. Last time you saw me I was getting makeup on in the Uber with my hair out the window.

Captain Brien: Right, so now you’re au naturelle Kristina.

Kristina Montouri: Yeah, and you know what? I get way more attention without the makeup. I don’t know if guys are like I don’t know, she looks like she could be homeless, I should probably tak her home.

Captain Brien: Maybe they feel –

Kristina Montouri: She’s a mess, she’s a mess.

Captain Brien: Maybe you seem more achievable now.

Kristina Montouri: More achievable?

Captain Brien: That’s what it is. They’re like she doesn’t do herself all up, she seems down to Earth, I’m able to meet her now.

Kristina Montouri: I’ve been meeting a lot –

Captain Brien: Cause if you’re all done to the nines, the guy’s gonna be like damn, well I gotta freakin go and shower before I say hi out there.

Kristina Montouri: Yes. And you meet a different type of person. You meet the kind of people that are all about appearance, and I’ve gotta impress everyone, and I’m not really about that. I just got used to wearing makeup because it was part of my job, you know?

Captain Brien: What’s the best date?

Captain Brien: Your ultimate date.

Kristina Montouri: Best date?

Captain Brien: When a guy meets you, what do they need to do? Take you out, where?

Kristina Montouri: Oh man, the beach.

Captain Brien: The beach.

Captain Brien: Get that sunset.

Kristina Montouri: I’m a sucker for a sunset.

Captain Brien: You gonna wear a bikini?

Kristina Montouri: If it’s warm enough, yeah.

Captain Brien: She wears a bikini, guys. How can you say no?

Kristina Montouri: Who doesn’t?

Captain Brien: Is it a string bikini or is it like a onesie?

Kristina Montouri: Jesus Christ.

Captain Brien: Come on, they need to know. I’m here just dealing out the information.

Kristina Montouri: Here’s the thing, I do wear a two-piece, because it just makes sense because I have a very long torso. My chair is actually lower to the mat

Captain Brien: Yeah, you’re tall.

Kristina Montouri: Cause if I sit up I’m touching the ceiling right now and it’s my torso. I’m a great swimmer because of that, actually.

Captain Brien: That is true, because you are like –

Kristina Montouri: It’s all torso. Sitting down I’m very tall.

Captain Brien: You’re an inch shorter than me but you’re literally taller than me right now.

Kristina Montouri: Yeah, I’m actually kind of leaning so I can get in your shot.

Captain Brien: We should’ve traded torsos, I could’ve been taller. Damn it.

Kristina Montouri: I wish I had a –

Captain Brien: I got a short torso, maybe.

Kristina Montouri: That’s the way to be though. Everyone’s like oh she’s got legs for days. No one’s like look at that torso boo.

Captain Brien: Oh, is that what it is?

Kristina Montouri: No one cares about a torso.

Captain Brien: But then the stomach goes for days.

Kristina Montouri: It’s nice, cause I can gain a lot of weight and it kinda evens out, there’s not a belly there.

Kristina Montouri: It distributes it.

Captain Brieni: It’s distribution,

Kristina Montouri: More, more room to – and then you have the thick legs cause they’re short, right? So then if you’re ever not feeling confident, you just walk through a group.

Kristina Montouri: Don’t guys want thick girls these days?

Kristina Montouri: I don’t know what guys want.

Captain Brien: I don’t think you’re thick, you’re very thin.

Kristina Montouri: Everybody wants –

Captain Brien: But isn’t that a thing? It’s not for me. Not a big thick girl.

Kristina Montouri: No? It’s whatever you want, you know? And a lot of people are all about the whole a real woman’s got this or a real woman’s got that. I’m like, we’re all real, we’re all breathing and walking, just be a healthy person. It doesn’t really matter.

Captain Brien: And loving and caring and sincere and honest.

Kristina Montouri: Yes.

Captain Brien: What about all those?

Kristina Montouri: Those are good too, you know?

Captain Brien: At the beach in a bikini those go out the window, though.

Kristina Montouri: Then you could be a complete asshole as long as you look good. That’s the moral of the story.

Captain Brien: So the guy’s gotta take you to the beach, what else does he have to do?

Kristina Montouri: Gosh, you gotta open up.

Captain Brien: Gotta open up.

Kristina Montouri: Oh man, I love being real.

Captain Brien: The wallet or the mind?

Kristina Montouri: Mind. Actually I have a strict policy. I pay for my own things.

Captain Brien: You do?

Kristina Montouri: On especially a first date, yes. Because I don’t like people to have expectations. They think you owe them something cause they bought you dinner.

Captain Brien: Right, so you wanna make sure you’re in control.

Kristina Montouri: Yes. I like being in control.

Captain Brien: 2019 the ladies are in the driver’s seat.

Kristina Montouri: I hate being told what to do, I absolutely hate being told what to do, unless I’m naked.

Captain Brien: Wow.

Kristina Montouri: I’m a dom in the streets and a sub in the sheets.

Captain Brien: I got you, I got you. Okay, okay. You guys might wanna know that, there you go. You can DM her at any time.

Kristina Montouri: Please don’t. I don’t answer my DMs.

Captain Brien: I know, for real. How many you must have

Kristina Montouri: You can follow and you can comment.

Captain Brien: That’s right.

Kristina Montouri: I’ll hit you up in the comments but –

Captain Brien: Yeah, you could be a fan, and you could buy tickets to the show, right? Off the Hook Comedy club March 2nd.

Kristina Montouri: March 2nd and since it’s sexual it’s a later show, right?

Captain Brien: It’s a 10:30 show at Richie La La, I think Eric Myers is on that show, you’re on the show, probably Carl and Stacey might be on that show.

Kristina Montouri: Hell yeah.

Captain Brien: It’s gonna be a great show and a big line up. So everyone gets to do about 15 minutes so that’ll be fun. Maybe 20.

Kristina Montouri: Sounds good. Maybe 20. Alright, I could do that. I’m pumped about that. That’s my problem.

Captain Brien: But thank you for doing my podcast today, this is the Captain’s Log, and you’re a fan, so now –

Kristina Montouri: I’m a huge fan.

Captain Brien: You’re gonna have to tell everyone that you did the show, it’s amazing.

Kristina Montouri: I will definitely do it. I will share it.

Captain Brien: The same show that Kevin Hart did. You did it. Now you’re movin up on the ladder.

Kristina Montouri: Movin up in the world. So Kevin Hart was sittin right here?

Captain Brien: Kevin Hart was sittin actually –

Kristina Montouri: Where was his torso? Where was his torso at?

Captain Brien: He’s short as hell.

Kristina Montouri: I know. I love him.

Captain Brien: But actually we did a whole show during the day and I even did an interview on the stage with him back at the club. So yeah, but he had eight people in the car when we went to do radio. Cause I usually do it with comedians on the way to press. So our press day will include while I’m driving me talking to them because they can’t run away and say no. So it’s good, I have a captive audience.

Kristina Montouri: Have you had a favorite, or just a favorite type of interview?

Captain Brien: Man, I did one with Bert Kreischer and it literally melted the whole computer.

Captain Brien: For an hour and a half we just had what I thought was gold. I hit save, I was ready to freakin upload it, and my whole Imac literally just died. I lost all of the material.

Kristina Montouri: No.

Captain Brien: And he just told that story on Mike Calta’s show last week cause he was in town. He sold out the whole theater, Bert’s on fire. He’s so great. Everything he does is a party. So the podcast was just great. But I’ve had some amazing guests. Not only in comedy. We do a lot of different things, and a lot of it is me and it’s the Captain’s Log because it’s like my daily journeys. So I’ll do all different things. It’s not just – it could be entrepreneurial, it could be my health, my whatever. Personal issues or personal achievements, it could be – so it’s just a whole mix of stuff. So every day it’s kinda something different. I try to do it every day but I had launched my own vodka brand and I introduced a gin and a rum and a dark rum.

Kristina Montouri: What’s it called?

Captain Brien: Captain Brien’s.

Kristina Montouri: It’s called Captain Brien’s.

Captain Brien: Yes. So that’s keeping me super busy, which it’s actually cutting into my podcasting hours.

Kristina Montouri: Well now I can actually have a Captain and Coke that I enjoy

Captain Brien: You can have the Captain all the time.

Kristina Montouri: cause I’m not all about Capatin Morgan.

Kristina Montouri: This is the best news all day.

Captain Brien: I have dark rum and light rum.

Captain Brien: Alright Kristina, thank you so much.

Kristina Montouri: Thank you.

Captain Brien: I appreciate you being my guest today. Don’t miss her guys, at Off the Hook Comedy Club. We are out and I’m goin to Sarasota tomorrow so I’m gonna take you guys with me. Tune in, we’ll see ya live.


Episode 219 The Captain’s Log with Comedian Jon Rudnitsky and Captain Brien!



Comedian and SNL Star Jon Rudnitsky joins Captain Brien to discuss his beginning at the Montreal Comedy Festival, what it’s like being on SNL, and the two even discuss waxing male parts!

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Watch Full Video —————>  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBkH0SaZb8k&t=211s

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!

Check Comedian Jon Rudnitsky out and show him some love at:

  • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jon.rudnitsky
  • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jonrudnitsky

PODCAST RECAP

Miss something on one of our episodes of the #naplescaptainslog? Don’t worry we got you covered! Here you will find a full transcript from this episode of the #naplescaptainslog!

Jon Rudnitsky: I’m hopeful.

Captain Brien: We’re live! It’s the Captain’s Log. Jon Rudnitsky. How ya doin’ buddy?

Jon Rudnitsky: Hey good.

Captain Brien:That was my hardest part of the whole day, sayin’ the name.

Jon Rudnitsky:: And getting the live stream to work here.

Captain Brien: Okay let’s do that before I drive away, we don’t want to drive away and then not have you on there.

Jon Rudnitsky: Let me get it live on my Facebook as well.

Captain Brien: So how was the flight, man?

Jon Rudnitsky: The flight was fantastic, I was asleep for most of it.

Captain Brien: Really?

Jon Rudnitsky: That was ideal. Is everything alright with the camera?

Captain Brien: Everything’s good. On that one I probably just ran out of batteries.

Jon Rudnitsky: Okay.

Captain Brien: But that’s okay, we like to stream live, I have that as a backup.

Jon Rudnitsky: Oh, perfect.

Captain Brien: And then we do it, you know? We’ll see where we’re at. The flight came in late though, yeah?

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah, I mean I’m comin’ from LA to get to, where are we? Basking?

Captain Brien: You’re in Bonita Springs we’re in Naples, Florida.

Jon Rudnitsky: Naples. And happy to be in Naples, I knew I was in Naples I was testing you ahhh.

Captain Brien: That was the thing, yeah, you were just

Jon Rudnitsky: It’s a second shirt. It’s a it’s a schlep to get from LA to here.

Captain Brien: There’s no direct flights.

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah, yeah.

Captain Brien: So how long did the flight take?

Jon Rudnitsky: Oh I don’t know it took on I left last week.

Captain Brien: You hated it?

Jon Rudnitsky: No, no I didn’t mind it its all good I’m used to traveling it’s part of my job here He’s not texting

Captain Brien: I’m not texting I’m sharing stuff.

Captain Brien: Checking the livestream. Who doesn’t have the Facebook app? That’s a phenomenon right there I like that

Jon Rudnitsky: I periodically delete the Instagram app just because I like to be less connected.

Captain Brien: Really?

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah just from my phone.

Captain Brien: Even in your industry.

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah when I’m promoting a show I post and then I like delete the app cause I’m like I don’t wanna be wasting time I don’t trust myself to not open it up and then I start going down a rabbit hole. Why am I lookin’ up my ex-girlfriend’s fiance

Captain Brien: You can do like uh it used to be like the Youtube

Jon Rudnitsky: Pictures from 2014 I’m like this this is sad, this is the middle of the day and I’ve been on the toilet for an hour and a half now

Captain Brien: Right. It used to be like the Youtube vortex but I think everyone’s like on the Instagram now I’ll just start watching that scrolling.

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah Facebook is for my mom. For my mom to uh, accidentally post things on her status.

Captain Brien: So what, what’s the deal what are you looking forward to here in Naples cause for me it’s the same scenario but I love when the comics come in they want to do different stuff

Jon Rudnitsky: I wanna go to the beach I wanna hang out it’s nice weather here I wanna eat good seafood and I’m looking forward to the shows.

Captain Brien: You wanna know a story? Kevin Hart came down with seven of his homies, they stayed in a penthouse on the Marco Island Beach at the Marriott and never once went outside.

Jon Rudnitsky: Really?

Captain Brien: Yeah they never went to the beach.

Jon Rudnitsky: Unbelievable!

Captain Brien: I would go to the beach every day.

Jon Rudnitsky: You got a penthouse its a different thing, I’m at the Hampton Inn so I’m itchin’ to get out and see the sun.

Captain Brien: They played video games all day.

Jon Rudnitsky: Amazing. That’s great if I had a penthouse you know, who knows I might do that, I’d probably be out on the beach, I’d be out at the beach you know, a mix of the video games was wow but if I had all my buddies he’s doin’ it right that guy, Kevin Hart.

Captain Brien: So tell me about Saturday Night Live, how’s that gig?

Jon Rudnitsky: That gig was wild you know

Captain Brien: How’d you get it first of all?

Jon Rudnitsky: I was at the Just for Laughs Comedy Festival in Montreal I seeing new faces. – Are you goin’ this year? I’m not going this year now no, are you goin’?

Captain Brien: I might go this year, yeah. I missed a couple of years in a row but I think I wanna get back this year.

Jon Rudnitsky: It’s a wild time.

Captain Brien: It’s fun.

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah and for those who don’t know it’s the biggest comedy festival in the world

Captain Brien: It is.

Jon Rudnitsky: And I’d done this Dirty Dancing bit for my audition

Captain Brien: Okay.

Jon Rudnitsky: It’s basically where I come out to the Dirty Dancing song I Had The Time of My Life I had an imaginary

Captain Brien: Do you like to dance?

Jon Rudnitsky: I do.

Captain Brien:  I saw your moves, I saw your moves on the uh, what’s the game, is that the game or or the scream that you did

Jon Rudnitsky: Oh Oh that was just uh a Donald Glover commercial, Google commercial that I think is really cool and so

Captain Brien: You were doin’ the moves you looked good

Jon Rudnitsky: I was stoned one night and just learned all the moves and then and then I posted it.

Captain Brien: Speaking of which, I hung out with Donald Glover at the Montreal Comedy Festival.

Jon Rudnitsky: Oh my God that’s so cool. There’s nobody more talented I think in the world.

Captain Brien:  He’s amazing.

Jon Rudnitsky: than Donald Glover.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah oh my God forget about it

Captain Brien:  That was a good time

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah he’s unreal, he’s unreal.

Captain Brien:  He literally did comedy and then grabbed the mic and rapped in the middle of the nightclub.

Jon Rudnitsky: That sounds about right.

Captain Brien: He like just…

Jon Rudnitsky: He’s the funniest guy

Captain Brien:  He literally just started rapping

Jon Rudnitsky: And the most talented oh my God

Captain Brien:  In the middle of the club.

Jon Rudnitsky: That’s amazing.

Captain Brien: I don’t think people knew how cool that was at the time cuz it was like

Jon Rudnitsky: Oh was this kinda before

Captain Brien: Like five years ago, six years ago.

Jon Rudnitsky: Wow.

Captain Brien: Maybe four or five years ago so he was just blowing up.

Jon Rudnitsky: He’ll win like an Academy Award in the next couple years, he’ll make a movie whatever he touches is just immediately is immediately gold. So anyway so I did this Dirty Dancing bit where I came out to the Dirty Dancing song and I danced with an imaginary Jennifer Gray I mime the whole thing until the lift, and then I drop her, and she’s she’s dead.

Captain Brien:  And this is your audition?

Jon Rudnitsky: This was my audition.

Captain Brien:  Did they ask for this or this is what you sent in?

Jon Rudnitsky: No actually weirdly enough it was this was not my audition for SNL this was just my audition for, hey good morning Crystal.

Captain Brien:  Hey Crystal.

Jon Rudnitsky: Uh, this was just my, uh audition for the festival.

Captain Brien: Okay.

Jon Rudnitsky: It was actually my callback and it wasn’t supposed to be my callback, I auditioned with the standup and then for my callback I was like I’m going to go out there and do this weird mime act uh and at least they’ll remember me. I probably won’t get to book it but we won’t get new faces cause it’s so competitive but at least they’ll remember me. And then I did it and instead of going out there and doing my jokes I just didn’t talk for five minutes, I did this whole thing where I dance with imaginary Jennifer Gray up until the lift then she, I drop her, she’s a goner, I’m tryin’ to revive her.

Captain Brien:  Did you have this all planned?

Jon Rudnitsky: It goes on and goes on.

Captain Brien:  Or was this Ad-Lib?

Jon Rudnitsky: No I had it all planned, I had it all worked out, and then I did it at Montreal and SNL scouts were there and they invited me to showcase in LA and then they invited me to screen test at 30 Rock in front of Lorne and the producers and what not and and like a month later I’m at a parking lot in Minnesota about to perform at a comedy club and I get a call from Lorne Michaels inviting me to join the cast so it definitely changed my life, that moment.

Captain Brien:  I was there um when Amy Schumer got the call for the Amy Schumer Show which is I mean, it’s mind blowing right? Like these are life changing events was it a life changing event for you?

Jon Rudnitsky: By a long shot.

Captain Brien:  It was right? I mean of course.

Jon Rudnitsky: It was the most exciting thing that still ever happened to me you know, I’ve had some exciting calls I mean, just finishing this Hulu show with George Clooney in Italy is pretty wild. But this was the first big call and SNL is like, the dream for me. Was always the dream.

Captain Brien: Were you sitting there waiting for it? It just happened right it wasn’t like you know like approximately or no?

Jon Rudnitsky: I had tested for it and was waiting to hear

Captain Brien: But you didn’t know when the call was coming it coulda come in two weeks or coulda came next day right?

Jon Rudnitsky: Right, yeah.

Captain Brien:  Or they coulda called and said dude it didn’t work.

Jon Rudnitsky: It didn’t work out.

Captain Brien:  Saw your face but not gonna happen.

Jon Rudnitsky: Those are long days waiting for that call, waiting to find out if you got Saturday Night Live, and then getting it I screamed I just went running and screaming, just yelling at the top of my lungs.

Captain Brien:  And in the first time you were on camera live, were you shitting your pants, I mean to say the least?

Jon Rudnitsky: You know, it’s one of those things you kind of shit in your pants after is how I, it’s kinda how I always talk about it.

Captain Brien: It’s like Holy Shit I did it?

Jon Rudnitsky: It’s like you just gotta be here while its happening, I can’t think, I can’t zoom out and think about what I’m doing because if I did I would be frozen, like I’m on SNL, I’m live in front of millions of people, Miley Cyrus is licking my face which is what happened in my first week.

Captain Brien:  Oh my God!

Jon Rudnitsky: I can’t be thinking about the fact that this is happening. Now I look back and I’m like oh my God.

Captain Brien: Did you like Miley?

Jon Rudnitsky: She was so cool.

Captain Brien:  Yeah she is.

Jon Rudnitsky: That was uh uh quite an experience to, way to get initiated.

Jon Rudnitsky: I agree.

Jon Rudnitsky: Into the show.

Captain Brien: : What brought the lick on? Just the handsomeness, she couldn’t

Jon Rudnitsky: I wish I could take credit for that, but no the premise of the sketch was like a Grease dance you know like a 50’s kind of vibe.

Captain Brien: Oh yeah, I saw that, I saw that.

Jon Rudnitsky: And uh I’m like, she’s the new girl in school look how cute she is you know. And then she’s like modern day Miley so she’s like licking a lollipop and rappin’ about takin’ Molly and I’m like, overwhelmed and don’t know how to deal with it then by the end she’s like, you know, licking my face.

Captain Brien: You won her over.

Jon Rudnitsky: Or she like freaked me out, and pulled me in, but yeah it was a very cool experience. And to be able to come up with an idea on Tuesday, and then on Saturday suddenly you’re in costume.

Captain Brien: How long does that take ya to run the ideas by everyone?

Jon Rudnitsky: Um you know its just one night is writing night.

Captain Brien:  You have a pitch night?

Jon Rudnitsky: Monday night is pitch night, Tuesday night is writing night, you know, and then uh, then Wednesday and Thursday then you know you’re rehearsing, and then Friday you’re uh gearing up, by Saturday it’s ready to go and that’s it. And then there’s a dress rehearsal and things are gettin’ cut all the way up until the show. You could you know have something on the show but it could get cut for time.

Captain Brien: Right.

Jon Rudnitsky: You know, right before, so it’s

Captain Brien: What’s the wildest thing someone pitched in the room when they were like, who the hell thought of that?

Jon Rudnitsky:: I can’t honestly, I don’t know, I can’t think of like a crazy pitch, it was always, it’s always real funny, funny stuff but nothing like crazy I feel like.

Captain Brien: What about ones they they turn down, that you were like, damn, they didn’t frickin’ want that?

Jon Rudnitsky: Um.

Captain Brien:  That sounds hysterical.

Jon Rudnitsky:: I’m tryin’, jeez, I’m tryin’ to remember.

Captain Brien: What about something you pitched that got frickin’ turned down?

Jon Rudnitsky: Oh my God, so many more often than not, way more often than not.

Captain Brien: Really?

Jon Rudnitsky: When I pitch things.

Captain Brien:  Was there like a pecking order, where like, there’re certain guys who always get through?

Jon Rudnitsky: Well, yeah, there are certainly people who’ve earned their stripes there, and you know, Kate McKinnon is always gonna be you know, prominent in the show. Kenan has been there 15 years so he’s gonna be used a lot and, yeah there’s definitely and I was the new guy, so I kinda got thrown into the deep end with weights around my ankles a bit.

Captain Brien:  Right.

Jon Rudnitsky: And, for me it’s like fighting to to get air time. You have to really you have to write yourself into stuff, cuz otherwise I’m just the waiter, you know, oh the President will see you now and that’s it, that’s all I’ll do the entire show, so. Um, for me I had to write my own stuff, and and then you’re doin’ that, you write that Tuesday night at six a.m. with no sleep I’m writin’ a character, new idea, then suddenly Wednesday’s at a table reading in front of the funniest people in the world and whichever movie star’s hosting that week, and yeah a lot of times it doesn’t go well. To bomb at that level there’s nothing quite like that. Yeah.

Captain Brien: Yeah. And even on stage if you’re bombing the lights you can’t see every person’s face the whole time, but maybe in that room might be a little intimidating huh?

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah, it’s one thing if you’re bombing you know, at a comedy club wherever in, in, the country and it’s another thing if you’re bombing in front of Tina Fey or whoever’s hosting that week, or whoever, Larry David’s there, you know. I had a good week the week Larry David was there, which was nice cuz he’s my comedic icon, but, yeah I had a couple of good weeks and then a lot of, lot of misses and that’s the thing, the highs are very high and the lows are very low at that show. And it moves at a very fast pace, a very fast pace.

Captain Brien:  I always wonder, what about goin’ back like, have you been to any high school or college reunions or anything, and they’re like, dude, you’re on freakin’ SNL now!

Jon Rudnitsky: It was pretty wild yeah, the whole thing was a real, cuz I moved out to LA to pursue all of it and my first job was back in the East Coast where I grew up so, for me, like I called all my best friends, I’m like comin’, I’m movin’ home also cuz I got SNL. So, actually in the intro of the show it’s me walkin’ down a street in Manhattan with my best friends and my brothers.

Captain Brien:  Cool.

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah, that was in the intro of the show. So yeah it was very cool and

Captain Brien: So when you were in high school, did you go to college?

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah I went to USC that’s what brought me out to LA.

Captain Brien: : And you studied?

Jon Rudnitsky: Theater.

Captain Brien: Theater, right? So in high school were you already into theater?

Jon Rudnitsky: Always wanted to perform this was always the thing.

Captain Brien:  Did you do high school plays?

Jon Rudnitsky: I did the musicals, yeah.

Captain Brien:  Yeah, I did some, I did.

Jon Rudnitsky: You did?

Captain Brien:  I did in some drama like productions in the town I did a few.

Jon Rudnitsky: Oh wow! You got some footage and that we can cut to?

Captain Brien:  I do, I have some break dancin’ clips too.

Jon Rudnitsky: Oh my God break dancing! Can you still do that?

Captain Brien:  A little bit, a little bit.

Jon Rudnitsky: Wow.

Captain Brien:  Yeah I was on a break dancing show when I was in high, when I was in middle school, yeah.

Jon Rudnitsky: Wow.

Captain Brien:  It was a local cable show but it was pretty fun though.

Jon Rudnitsky: Oh my God I would love to see this.

Captain Brien:  It was great, it was great.

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah. Baggy sweatpants?

Captain Brien:  Oh yeah, the zippers, parachute pants and that.

Jon Rudnitsky: Bust a move. I imagine.

Captain Brien:  Oh yeah that was great.

Jon Rudnitsky: That’s fantastic, yeah, you gotta be, you gotta be strong to pull off those moves.

Captain Brien: You do, you do. What about what about traveling now with the food, like you’re from New Jersey right?

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah, from Jersey.

Captain Brien:  So the food’s the best in Jersey, I always feel like Jersey, Chicago, Boston, New York, right?

Jon Rudnitsky: All good stuff, yeah.

Jon Rudnitsky: Amazing. Like LA says they got great food, they got great restaurants, other places but it’s a different deal. Like I, I’m down with like the New York, the Boston, Jersey like Mom and Pop places been there like 50 years and they make the best whatever right?

Captain Brien:  Yeah yeah yeah

Captain Brien: When you go out to like LA the food has to be like really trendy, you don’t have that background right?

Jon Rudnitsky: It’s true, it’s different. It’s a lot of health foods in LA, which is good, I like I feel good when I’m in LA because it’s actually hard to eat like shit there, you know

Captain Brien:  Cause everyone’s like oh my God you’re not vegan?

Jon Rudnitsky: You can’t find regular milk there.

Captain Brien: It’s almond?

Jon Rudnitsky: It’s almond, it’s oat, it’s hemp, the milk’s go on and on.

Captain Brien:  Really?

Jon Rudnitsky: You can’t keep up with the milks. But now since I left yesterday I’ve had Dunkin’ Donuts three times.

Captain Brien: Oh I love Dunkin’! We went there this morning, right?

Jon Rudnitsky: We did, we did.

Captain Brien: They’re not sponsoring the show by the way, if Dunkin’ would like to you need to call us.

Jon Rudnitsky: Hashtag Dunkin’ Donuts.

Captain Brien: So we just left 105.5 we did two stations already, Gator Country, right? – Yeah.

Captain Brien: That went well with Mel and Scott, just left 105.5 the Beat with the Freak Show and now we’re doin’ 103.9 at Beasley.

Jon Rudnitsky: We got another radio?

Captain Brien: We got two more.

Jon Rudnitsky: Two more? Oh my God, look at this I thought I was goin’ back to bed.

Captain Brien: No, we’re takin’ ya to, it’s quick though, it’s quick. One hour we’ll be done. With everything. We’ll be done in an hour.

Jon Rudnitsky: Perfect perfect. Yeah no I’m I’m gamin’ here oh my God.

Captain Brien: You had no choice to do the show, it wasn’t like you were gonna get from Ft Myers back to your hotel without drivin’ with me

Jon Rudnitsky: No, I wasn’t avoiding it, I was avoiding it, I thought I ordered an Uber I don’t know how I ended up in this situation. Right?

Captain Brien: You didn’t know it was gonna be so much fun and so many questions.

Jon Rudnitsky: This is a blast, this is great.

Captain Brien: How do you keep the beard, do you trim it or do you just let that grow in and shave it?

Jon Rudnistky: I trim the beard.

Captain Brien: You do?

Jon Rudnitsky: I trim it, yeah yeah yeah, but I’m happiest with facial hair. I don’t know how you feel but don’t you always feel like ya gotta have a little bit of scruff?

Captain Brien: I go with the scruff and then I shave.

Jon Rudnitsky: I see you shave this.

Captain Brien: The reason I don’t shave this is I get a lot of rash. Like sometimes it’s just uh it gets uncomfortable.

Jon Rudnitsky: I go with the electric trimmer.

Captain Brien: Yeah me too, the trim.

Jon Rudnitsky: I bought one for my face and one for everything else.

Captain Brien:One for your nuts.

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah you don’t want to use the same one but sometimes I forget I don’t have ’em labeled so it’s luck of the draw.

Captain Brien: And do you live with somebody?

Jon Rudnitsky: I do.

Captain Brien: And do you let them know this is the nuts one on the face one?

Jon Rudnitsky: She just stays clear of all.

Captain Brien: She does? I probably wouldn’t say anything. Oh I’d be like I used that one today, ha ha and I’d just laugh myself.

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah well I don’t think she, she’s got she’s not usin’ my razor blade, she’s got a….

Captain Brien: She’s straight Bic?

Jon Rudnitsky: She’s got a fancier situation goin’ on she’s not an animal like me.

Captain Brien: I wouldn’t do the wax though. Did you ever do the full wax?

Jon Rudnitsky: I’ve never, I’ve never done a full wax. I’ve thought about it.

Captain Brien: Really? I get scared just goin’ up.

Jon Rudnitsky: The the uh you know, the in between the area the landing.

Captain Brien: Here’s what bothers me with the wax. When I go to the counter and they’re like yeah, what can we do for you today? What what kind of wax would you like, and I’m like, my eyebrows, I’m even afraid to say my ears. Out loud. I’m like my eyebrows, and then when I get in there I’m like can you do my ears and my nose? I don’t wanna be up at the counter, be like, can you wax my taint, my nuts are very hairy right now.

Jon Rudnitsky: Oh my God.

Captain Brien: Like, it’s embarrassing.

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah, you’re not the first person to ask and you know it’s uh

Captain Brien: But there’s always other people waiting to like.

Jon Rudnitsky: You gotta go to a place that I guess uh

Captain Brien: I go to a high end place, it just drives me crazy.

Jon Rudnitsky: Specializes in in waxing of the male privates.

Captain Brien: In the bung bung.

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah, I think so. I think it would be painful, probably not worth it

Captain Brien: How would you know it’s a specialty?

Jon Rudnitsky: What’s that?

Captain Brien: How do you know it’s their specialty?

Jon Rudnitsky: I guess you gotta go on Yelp

Captain Brien: You’re gonna Yelp it? And see what their review is on Trip Advisor?

Jon Rudnitsky: You might be able to Uber Eats it maybe somebody comes to you and brings you a sandwich it’s all a package deal.

Captain Brien: Yeah, speaking of Uber, do you use Lyft or Uber all the time? I never use Lyft ever.

Jon Rudnitsky: I use Lyft actually.

Captain Brien: Really?

Jon Rudnitsky: Um there was a thing I mean there was thing back when Trump was with the, the, uh, Muslim Ban and Uber I forget honestly what was happening, but Uber was bad at the time, and I deleted the app and that was my, that was me like, making a stance. I deleted Uber and I just use Lyft, I never read down what it is.

Captain Brien: And is Lyft as accessible as Uber? Like it’s just as quick a boom, they’re there, all the time.

Jon Rudnitsky: Uh Yeah it’s great, used it last night. Lyft is everywhere and it was like five minutes here.

Captain Brien: No problem.

Jon Rudnitsky: Yeah I was surprised, surprised the whole, uh

Captain Brien: And the cars, like I see sometimes I think sometimes they’re moonlighting with both now aren’t they? They can ride Lyft and Uber at the same time.

Jon Rudnitsky: Oh yeah they’re working all of it.

Captain Brien: They are, right?

Jon Rudnitsky: A Lyft driver is also an Uber driver.

Captain Brien: I gotcha, I gotcha.

Jon Rudnitsky: Hey who’s this? Patty, hi Patty!

Captain Brien: Patty what’s happening?

Jon Rudnitsky: Anthony’s watchin’ now.

Captain Brien: I think we had a little technical difficulty you know how it tells people you’re live? I don’t think it’s telling people because we didn’t get a big number but after it plays it will play huge, it will be on the podcast, on Itunes, Stitcher, Sound Cloud,

Jon Rudnitsky: Just right now.

Captain Brien: Youtube, Facebook.

Jon Rudnitsky: Are you just trying to make me feel better that there’s two people watching us?

Captain Brien: I think so, I think that’s what my plan is. I’m tryin’ to kind of gear you up for a big punch.

Jon Rudnitsky: If this is any indication of my ticket sales.

Captain Brien: I bet you ten thousand views by the time Sunday morning rolls around.

Jon Rudnitsky: I like that, okay.

Captain Brien: That’ll happen. That’s our

Jon Rudnitsky: Just in time for me to leave town.

Captain Brien: Yeah but at least they’ll know during that time they’ll be building up. Guys, this is the Captain’s Log don’t forget you gotta see Jon all weekend at Off the Hook Comedy Club. Hey man, I appreciate the talk.

Jon Rudnitsky: I appreciate it.

Captain Brien:: It was fun I learned a lot of stuff today it was interesting.

Jon Rudnitsky:: This is great, I know about the trimmer thing, the waxing.

Captain Brien: I think we did good.

Jon Rudnitsky: Mainly about kind of hygiene and grooming

Captain Brien: We got a lot accomplished.

Jon Rudnitsky: I didn’t expect it to be so focused

Captain Brien: We’re out guys we’re out.