Category Archives: Vlogging

Episode 208 The Captain’s Log with Cora Bolds



Guest Cora Bolds joins Captain Brien to discuss social media growth and influencing! Cora Bolds shares how she got started as a local social influencer and gives us her tips and tricks for social media growth! Ever wonder how you get the “swipe up” feature on Instagram? Tune in to hear!

Watch full video at ——- https://youtu.be/1yXbv73lu1g

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!

Check Cora Bolds out and show her some love at:

PODCAST RECAP

Miss something on one of our episodes of the #naplescaptainslog? Don’t worry we got you covered! Here you will find a full transcript from this episode of the #naplescaptainslog!

Captain Brien: Hey guys, welcome back to the Captain’s Log. I have Cora Bolds, and she is a, not only you’re a local Instagram influencer, but you’ve been doing this everywhere. And now you’ve got a big event going on in Miami that you’re hosting. Tell me about it. It’s exciting.

Cora Bolds: Oh my gosh, it’s so exciting. So, I am hosting an event out at Segrado Cafe in Miami on Biscayne Boulevard. And I’m inviting local influencers that are going to network, have the opportunity to network and socialize with brands who are looking for influencers, as well as other influencers who are looking for other influencers to collaborate with themselves.

Captain Brien: So what do you do? I know that you do a lot of stuff with the Gram. You’re on the IG all the time.

Cora Bolds: I love the ‘Gram.

Captain Brien: And you’ve been growing your following, and you’ve been becoming this influencer. Tell me about how it started and what the goal is. And you have all these influencers, people might not know what influencers are.

Cora Bolds: Okay, so an influencer is a modern-day buzz agent, which would be considered somebody who influences the opinion of others. Before you go shopping, before you buy a new car, you might ask your friend, you know, I don’t know, tell me what to get, if you trust their opinion. Well, these influencers, these modern-day influencers are taking the opinion leaders and translating it into their own influence, and, you know, advertising to the general public as being the person to go to when you have questions about simple things like that. So, there’s a whole different, I mean, there’s so many things that I’ve done to get me to this point. There’s, I mean, between hashtags, and tagging people,

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Cora Bolds: It all started with the idea that I wanted to run a website. I wanted that creative outlet. I didn’t know the first steps to take. I didn’t even know how to design a website. I downloaded Squarespace. I created a template.

Captain Brien: Ah, did you do it? Did you make it?

Cora Bolds: I did it. I made a website.

Captain Brien: I’ve done that a few times, yeah.

Cora Bolds: It took awhile to get the hang of it, but I had to email them quite a few times to ask for very simple stupid questions. And they’re kind of like, you know, read the guide, but–

Captain Brien: Of course, yeah.

Cora Bolds: I finally got the hang of it. I’ve only been doing it now for about five months. So it is a work in progress, but it has been majorly successful.

Captain Brien: But you’ve, yeah, in five months, you’ve come a long way.

Cora Bolds: I have.

Captain Brien: You broke 10,000.

Cora Bolds:  I broke 10,000 followers this past week.

Captain Brien: Which is huge.

Cora Bolds: Yeah.

Captain Brien: Because now you can do the swipe up.

Cora Bolds: I can do the swipe up.

Captain Brien: Everybody needs that.

Cora Bolds: Thank God.

Captain Brien: I’m still trying to get there on the Gram. Right?

Cora Bolds: The swipe up is the best feature, because it directs people directly to my website.

Captain Brien: Correct, yeah, cause then you can force people to go right to links that you are getting paid to send people.

Cora Bolds: Of Course! That’s the best part.

Captain Brien: But I know that, you know, we talked at lunch for a minute and you were saying that with the different brands that you representing and that you’re an influencer for, you don’t just take every brand on, I mean, right?

Cora Bolds:  No of course not.

Captain Brien: You gotta do something that you love because people have to know you’re passionate about it.

Cora Bolds: Oh my gosh, yeah. And I turn down at least two to three deals a week because it’s just not the right fit for me. I’m not a swimsuit model. I’m not gonna sell your swimsuit products.

Captain Brien: Right, yeah.

Cora Bolds: I’m a wine-lover, you know, I love to be endorsing things that I love.

Captain Brien: You should love vodka and rum.

Cora Bolds: I love vodka and rum!

Captain Brien: I know a guy, I know a guy, right?

Cora Bolds: This guy, oh my gosh.

Captain Brien: So yeah, that’s what I think the whole world’s looking for these days, is someone to tell them that this product is legit or valuable or it works.

Cora Bolds: High quality, yeah, something.

Captain Brien: You know the Amazon reviews, that for me is huge.

Cora Bolds: Oh my gosh, Yelp is huge.

Captain Brien: Right? Oh you use Yelp?

Cora Bolds: No.

Captain Brien: Oh I’m a big thumbs down on Yelp.

Cora Bolds: Not anymore.

Captain Brien: No, I hate it. I think it’s so fake.

Cora Bolds: I’m deleting Yelp.

Captain Brien: The thing about Yelp is, honestly, is that it’s a money game, all’s it is. You can have a gazillion reviews out there that they don’t pass through, because you’re not an advertiser.

Cora Bolds: Right.

Captain Brien: So, they’ll pass through the negative reviews and a few positive reviews, and they’ll pass through all the negative reviews and a few positive reviews, and then they’ll contact you and say hey, we noticed you were getting a lot of negative reviews. But if you go and look in your queue, there’s like 200 positive reviews. And they claim that those people know you or they are affiliated with you.

Cora Bolds: Right.

Captain Brien: It’s a scam.

Cora Bolds: Yelp can be questionable.

Captain Brien: And now people like have already figured that out.

Cora Bolds: Yeah.

Captain Brien: You know, because I don’t believe in it at all. I think it’s a bunch of bull.

Cora Bolds: Yeah.

Captain Brien: Because why would you not let every review go through?

Cora Bolds: Right.

Captain Brien: Who are you to say that that review was not valid?

Cora Bolds: Of course.

Captain Brien: Right?

Cora Bolds: I agree with that.

Captain Brien: Yeah, so that’s why Yelp, I think, is getting I think they’ve lost it

Cora Bolds: A bad rap.

Captain Brien: Yeah, I think they lost their mojo lately because everyone realizes now, the businesses are like, well wait a minute. We have all these reviews on all these other sites, and unless I pay to be a Yelp advertiser, my reviews aren’t gonna be posted?

Cora Bolds: Of course, of course.

Captain Brien: It’s crazy. Like no.

Cora Bolds: Right, I’m not less of a human.

Captain Brien: You can do it if you want, you can do it if you want, that’s your business, right? Like, that’s great. That’s your business model, but you’re not gonna be the number one brand for reviews. I’m done with them.

Cora Bolds: Right, right.

Captain Brien:I’m done with Yelp.

Cora Bolds: Everybody’s deleting Yelp.

Captain Brien: Yes, get out!

Cora Bolds: 2019, delete Yelp.

Captain Brien: Go home.

Cora Bolds: I love it. So, you told me a couple fun things, right?

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Cora Bolds: Which I don’t know, if people really got into it and they wanted to become an influencer, tell me the things that you’re focusing on, obviously is with you’re tagging certain brands, I mean you’re not gonna tag Chili’s if you’re selling,

Captain Brien: Right.

Cora Bolds: I don’t know, right, so you have to tell people how does that work? Explain that.

Captain Brien: So, you wanna be as accurate as you can when hashtagging, when tagging, you know, if it’s an outfit.

Cora Bolds: And there’s a difference between hashtagging,

Captain Brien: Right.

Cora Bolds: And tagging.

Captain Brien: And tagging.

Cora Bolds: Hashtagging, you’re allowed 30.

Captain Brien: Allowed 30 on Instagram.

Cora Bolds: Right, and you can put those, you told me a good trick, though, you like to put yours in the comments.

Captain Brien: I like to put mine in the comments, because I think it keeps it clean

Cora Bolds: Which I like, yeah.

Captain Brien: It keeps your Instagram cleaner.

Cora Bolds: It keeps, clean, she loves the technical term.

Captain Brien: Yeah, I like clean.

Cora Bolds: Clean means when she posts, that the post is not,

Captain Brien: You’re not getting bombarded,

Cora Bolds: Yeah doesn’t have a ton of hashtags.

Captain Brien: Right, hashtags.

Cora Bolds: Hashtags.

Captain Brien: If you put them in the first comment, you still get found the same way.

Cora Bolds: Okay.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Cora Bolds: So that’s a good tip.

Captain Brien: Yes.

Cora Bolds: I like that.

Captain Brien: You can use all 30, you know, why would you not increase, optimize the amount of traffic going to your page at all possible angles.

Cora Bolds: Right.

Captain Brien: Why wouldn’t you tag all 20 people in your photo,

Cora Bolds: And then tag the people in the photo.

Captain Brien: Yes, tag people.

Cora Bolds: So, I kinda get, I get tagged all the time. Is that why people are tagging me?

Captain Brien: Yeah, because they probably think people are going to your page, you know.

Cora Bolds: Yeah.

Captain Brien: They believe that you’re in some way an influencer and people are going to your page to look at what you’re doing, and they might check out your tagged photos, and they want that opportunity to be showcased there.

Cora Bolds: Gotcha, so, you think it’s okay, though, to tag as many people as you can up to 20?

Captain Brien: Oh yeah.

Cora Bolds: Always?

Captain Brien: Always. I always tag all 20.

Cora Bolds: And you post them right on top of each other?

Captain Brien: I put it right on top of each other, so that it’s not, when you click on the photo, you see a thousand, million tags.

Cora Bolds: Yeah, you do em boom, boom, boom.

Captain Brien: I put them right on top of each other, so you can still see my photo.

Cora Bolds: How bout the egg guy?

Captain Brien: The egg guy, oh my gosh, isn’t that, like,

Cora Bolds: It’s insane, right?

Captain Brien: He is crazy.

Captain Brien: He’s 19 years old. 19 years old, did you look at his tags?

Cora Bolds: I didn’t.

Captain Brien: You should look at his tags.

Cora Bolds: Are they funny?

Captain Brien: No, he tagged like CNN, he tagged Good Morning, America,

Cora Bolds: Yeah, he tagged-

Captain Brien: Mashable.

Cora Bolds: He knew what he was doing.

Captain Brien: He did know what he was doing.

Cora Bolds: He knew what he was doing.

Captain Brien: But, yet, he put them all over the place, which is cool, I get it, but he tagged Jimmy Fallon.

Cora Bolds: Oh my gosh.

Captain Brien: Like, he tagged a lot of accounts that I was like, interesting.

Cora Bolds: Big accounts, yeah.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Cora Bolds: Yeah.

Captain Brien: And you feel like, I feel like, obviously that’s what helped,

Cora Bolds: Oh, yeah

Captain Brien: because why wouldn’t, I mean, there’s no way people are just gonna follow an egg.

Cora Bolds: Right, or maybe people just don’t like Kylie Jenner.

Captain Brien: I like Kylie, I like the Jenners.

Captain Brien: I don’t like the Kardashians.

Captain Brien: Why not?

Cora Bolds: Because they’re talentless.

Captain Brien:The Kardashians and the Jenners, I’m a fan of both.

Cora Bolds: I’m out here trying to make it, and they did nothing.

Captain Brien: No, that’s not true.

Cora Bolds: Okay.

Captain Brien: That’s not true. What do you think, how long’s it take you to make one post?

Cora Bolds: About an hour.

Captain Brien: Okay, so it takes you an hour. So, they’re posting all the time.

Cora Bolds: Or, someone’s posting for them.

Captain Brien: And that’s their business. They’re not, I think they post. No, I think they do the pictures. So, they take the pictures, but I don’t know if they take the pictures themselves anymore.

Cora Bods: Yeah.

Captain Brien: But I doubtfully don’t think anyone posts for them. I don’t think they would give somebody that much control.

Cora Bolds: I think Kris is back there managing everything.

Captain Brien: You think?

Cora Bolds: I think so.

Captain Brien: No way.

Cora Bolds: I don’t know.

Captain Brien: I don’t know, all’s I know,

Cora Bolds: Maybe, they’re rich

Captain Brien: Maybe I’m doing it wrong, cause I take, all my posts take no more than five or 10 minutes. I need to put more time in.

Cora Bolds: You do, because you wanna be authentic. You don’t wanna be like, one sentence here and buy it, because that doesn’t create a relationship.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Cora Bolds: You wanna share something about yourself, share a problem, share a win, a loss.

Captain Brien: I got plenty of both,

Cora Bolds: Don’t we all.

Captain Brien: I need to start sharing away

Cora Bolds: Share something that people can connect to, that they can relate to, something that will get people involved and engaged.

Captain Brien: Yeah, and what’s your best post for the most likes, and then what’s your most engaging post?

Cora Bolds: So, the one that I just posted last week about my Miami Influencer event has like, I think, right around 960 likes.

Captain Brien: Yay!

Cora Bolds: Yeah. That’s the most I’ve ever gotten on a post, which is really good. I was excited, I thought it was gonna break 1000. This week, it’s gonna break 1000 likes.

Captain Brien: Yay!

Cora Bolds: It did have a lot of comments on it. I think, though, that my most engaging post for comments was my birthday post, because a lot of people said either happy birthday,

Captain Brien: Happy birthday.

Cora Bolds: Yeah, things like that. I like asking questions at the end of my post, So I’ll share a little excerpt from a story or something that happened to me that day or how I like the sangria, or whatever it is, and then I’ll be like, “what’s your favorite sangria?” or “where do you like to buy your sangria?” or “where do you go for sangria?” just to get something a little talking point to get people engaging in your content.

Captain Brien: Do you respond to every comment?

Cora Bolds: If it looks like a real account, yes, because I like that relationship marketing. I like building that relationship.

Captain Brien: I hate these comments that say tell me more about your business, like, come on.

Cora Bolds: Right.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Cora Bolds: Read a book.

Captain Brien: Right, yeah. No, go to my website, because that’s some robot asking me that question.

Cora Bolds: Right, of course.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Cora Bolds: Absolutely.

Captain Brien: But, so you’ll go on there and respond?

Cora Bolds: Yeah, yeah.

Captain Brien: What about DM’s?

Cora Bolds: I’m bad about DM’s. If it’s a branded deal, I like it to go to my email, cause I like, you know, that I get to go back and reference it. My DM’s, they get kind of pushed down.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

-Cora Bolds: My friends,

Captain Brien: They get clogged up.

Cora Bolds: They get clogged up.

Captain Brien: You’re getting all them DM’s, everyone’s sliding into your DM’s.

Cora Bolds: Everybody’s sliding into my DM’s.

Captain Brien: Hey Kim, how are you? Kim, Alex is on air, what’s going on? She says happy birthday.

Cora olds: Happy late birthday, aww.

Captain Brien: Yeah, yeah.

Cora Bolds: It was last August But that’s good.

Captain Brien: It’s good, it’s coming around again.

Cora Bolds: It is.

Captain Brien: I’ll be right around the corner.

Cora Bolds: I’ll be 23, oh my gosh.

Captain Brien: Wow, that’s interesting though, because this is like, and you’re graduating college.

Cora Bolds: I’m gonna graduate this fall, yep.

Captain Brien: And you’re gonna be studying?

Cora Bolds: I study marketing and political science.

Captain Brien: And what’s the future bring?

Cora Bolds: So, now that I have this Miami event for the influencers, I’m starting to get into a little bit of advanced

Captain Brien: Here we go, hey, hit the reset.

Cora Bolds: Event planning. I’m starting to get myself into event planning. I think that it’s a great opportunity to, you know, be your own boss, charge your own rates, you know, 160 thousand for a party, why not, you know?

Captain Brien: Yeah, you might as well.

Cora Bolds: These Naples people, they love that.

Captain Brien: I’ve gotten the event planning, I do event planning every day.

Cora Bolds: That’s so fun.

Captain Brien: Because I have 10 events every day, it’s called a comedy club.

Cora Bolds: But, no we do,

Cora Bolds: It’s the best comedy club.

Captain Brien: We do a lot of luncheons and private events and corporate stuff as well, so that’s an interesting business.

Cora Bolds: Yeah.

Captain Brien: You definitely, it can be brain-teasing at some times, and sometimes, it’s like a no-brainer. It just depends on what kind of event it is, but

Cora Bolds: Of course.

Captain Brien:  They’re all different in one way or another. You have one of your clients is super, super extra, and then you have the other client that just is like, make it happen, Captain. Do everything you did the last time, or do something like that other event we went to. That was spectacular, but yeah.

Cora Bolds: Yeah.

Captain Brien: It’s not all fun and games, sometimes.

Cora Bolds: It isn’t.

Captain Brien: No.

Cora Bolds: Sometimes, it’s a little hard to get in touch with everybody, and everybody on the same page, but, it is always worth it.

Captain Brien: So, you’re putting together all these influencers in Miami, and you’re gonna be going to, what’s the name of the place?

Cora Bolds: Sagrado Cafe.

Captain Brien: Okay, Sagrado Cafe, and what your going to be doing is, everyone’s gonna be on the ground, talking about what?

Cora Bolds: About the other influencers that are there, we have travel influencers, fashion influencers, lifestyle influencers, food influencers, health influencers, and businesses attending. So, we’re gonna get people with the fashion influencers with the fashion influencers, the lifestyle influencers with the lifestyle influencers, just so they can talk about what works for them, what gets them their content, what brands are working with, how to reach out to brands, we have people with up to 333 thousand followers that are coming to the event, and people that are at like 5,000 followers.

Captain Brien: And what’s the cost to attend?

Cora Bolds: So, the cost is about $15 for your ticket, and $20 when we eat, but it’s endless mimosas and sangria and cheesy bread, plus your brunch, so.

Captain Brien: Nice.

Cora Bolds: I mean it is, you know, it’s a cafe. It’s a business, they still have to make money, too. But, it is gonna be really exciting. I’m super excited for it. We have a photo wall coming in, we’ve got, we’ve reached out to local vendors to raffle off different items,

Captain Brien: And I’m gonna give you some tickets.

Cora Bolds:  And some tickets to the comedy club are always a win.

Captain Brien: Yes, yes, absolutely. I might even give you a bottle of vodka.

Cora Bolds: Oh my gosh

Captain Brien:  Should I do that?

Cora Bolds: I’m not giving that to the event, I’m taking that one home.

Captain Brien: No you can’t. Atleast you’re over the age,

Cora Bolds: Right, that’s true

Captain Brien: The drinking age is legal.

Cora Bolds: That’s true, right.

Captain Brien: That makes sense, that makes sense. And then tell me about what you do different on your story, cause there’s two different things, right, obviously, people are gonna be posting on a timeline, and then they’re gonna be posting on their story.

Cora Bolds: Right.

Captain Brien: Give us some good tricks on your story.

Cora Bolds: So, on your story, if you’re mentioning a brand, you always wanna, you know, actually mention them. You wanna tag them in there, so that they have the opportunity to see that.

Captain Brien: And add it to their story.

Cora Bolds: And add it to their story, which is great eseo-optimization. I mean you just, you need that sort of thing.

Captain Brien: Of course.

Cora Bolds: That’s grown my account authentically a lot. Getting shout outs from places like…

Captain Brien: How many do you tag in your story?

Cora Bolds: Just what’s there. If it’s

Captain Brien: You only tag in your story what you’re actually talking about?

Cora Bolds: Yes, of course.

Captain Brien: Yes.

Cora Bolds: Because, I don’t wanna be misleading.

Captain Brien: Right.

Cora Bolds: I don’t want somebody to click on that link, and they’re like, well this isn’t where the product’s from, who is this person?

Captain Brien: Right.

Cora Bolds: When I’m with friends, I’ll always tag all five of my friends if they’re in the video, just to increase their eseo as well.

Captain Brien: Absolutely.

Cora Bolds:Those back links are really helpful.

Captain Brien: Yeah. But they only last for 24 hours?

Cora Bolds: The only last for 24 hours, I put a lot of things in my highlights, I’m a big craft beer drinker, and I’m a big foodie, so I put all the good food and all the good porters and stouts in my highlights, just so if somebody missed it on the 24 hours, it can go back and see it.

Captain Brien: Right, so what do you think, you focus all your time and energy on Instagram, though, and you’re saying you don’t like Facebook.

Cora Bolds: I don’t really use Facebook.

Captain Brien: What about twitter?

Cora Bolds: I do have a twitter, but it’s my personal account, it’s just like some funny tweets I find funny.

Captain Brien:Okay.

Cora Bolds: So not much going on there.

Captain Brien: I’m not a big fan of twitter that much, so I can agree with you there. And what about LinkedIn?

Cora Bolds: I do have a LinkedIn, but it’s only for professional, like excursions, like businesses that want to hire me actually for jobs, like Gardner and things like that.

Captain Brien: Okay, but you don’t feel like putting any posts on there at all?


Episode 207 The Captain’s Log with America’s Got Talent Star Vicki Barbolak



Special star Vicki Barbolak joins Captain Brien to talk about her experience and some of her favorite moments on America’s Got Talent and America’s Got Talent: The Champions, her upcoming shows at Off The Hook Comedy Club in Naples, Florida, and a failed attempt to sing a song about Rum in honor of Captain Brien’s Rum!

Watch full video at ———–>  https://youtu.be/m3yQUCGOTmE

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!

Check Vicki Barbolak out and show her some love at:

PODCAST RECAP

Miss something on one of our episodes of the #naplescaptainslog? Don’t worry we got you covered! Here you will find a full transcript from this episode of the #naplescaptainslog!

Captain Brien: Good morning, and welcome aboard The Captain’s Log. Vicki Barbolak, oh my goodness.

Vicki Barbolak: Ahoy, captain.

Captain Brien: I have a trailer, is it the trailer nasty, is that what I do?

Vicki Barbolak: It’s the trailer nasty.

Captain Brien: Let’s take a ride, we’re doing radio.

Vicki Barbolak: I got some Captain Brien rum.

Captain Brien: I already hooked you up with rum.

Vicki Barbolak: For the road.

Captain Brien: Is that good for you?

Vicki Barbolak: It’s delicious. Just my size, too. Nothing like a little gallon of rum at 10 in the morning to make a girl feel happy.

Captain Brien: So, yeah, so we’re gonna do some radio. We already did two stations, which was fun. We did Gator Country, in Bonita Springs, and then we just left I Heart Radio with 105.5 the Beat and the Freakshow so, it’s a long weekend here in Naples, all the way til Sunday, I’m excited. Shows are selling like crazy. We’re gonna have so much fun. And, I wanna know all kinds of good stuff about your career, and what you’ve been doing.

Vicki Barbolak: Ever since America’s Got Talent, like, it’s just like a whole different world. People come up to me, in the grocery store, in the airports. It’s just, liquor stores, you know, and not because I didn’t pay the bill. It’s a miracle. It’s just been so much fun.

Captain Brien: And how do you feel like, the future of your career’s gonna be?

Vicki Barbolak: I feel like a baby, like it just started. And, you know, I got people coming at me with television shows, and, just, like, everything I ever dreamed of is actually happening. I bought the second best trailer in my trailer park, can I, I’m just sorry to brag about that.

Captain Brien: You are, you are. But that’s okay.

Vicki Barbolak: You know I’m still the same person, Brien.

Captain Brien: You’re coming up, it’s big, it’s big time now.

Vicki Barbolak: I’m still the same person. Yeah. All is well.

Captain Brien: We can pull out here, and the sun is getting us. But we’re gonna pull right out, and just take our chances.

Vicki Barbolak: This is beautiful. Are we gonna see any alligators here in the street?

Captain Brien: I think so, right. Maybe crossing the road while we’re driving.

Vicki Barbolak: That’s what I’ve heard, they’re everywhere.

Captain Brien: So, the thing I wondered, really, is, and I briefly asked you before. When you’re on the show, they don’t do, like, they don’t tell you, like, okay, I want to set up this big stage for you this time? Or, do you do that? And then, what about the costumes, and the expense, and all that?

Vicki Barbolak: I got to have a lot of input on what I wear, because my clothes are, you know, very specific.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Vicki Barbolak: I’ve been shopping in thrift stores my whole life, and, I have a certain aesthetic.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Vicki Barbolak: And so. Sorry, this darn cough. Anyway, so I got to have a lot of input on the clothes. The first few shows, you bring your own clothes, and, so I did, and by the time you make the finals.

Captain Brien: You really, I don’t know if that’s actually.

Vicki Barbolak: Oh, it’s so good.

Captain Brien: That’s barrel aged.

Vicki Barbolak: Damn, that smells good.

Captain Brien: In bourbon barrels, you like that?

Vicki Barbolak: This smells delicious

Captain Brien: Are you gonna go right out there?

Vicki Barbolak: Just wakes me right up. I have to make sure there’s some police around before I take a big drink.

Captain Brien: Yeah, let’s do that. Let’s make sure. Let’s pour it all over ourselves.

Vicki Barbolak: Because I like to be stopped.

Captain Brien: If they pull us over, they immediately get the aroma of alcohol.

Vicki Barbolak: Is it illegal in Florida to drink and drive?

Captain Brien: Yeah, I think so.

Vicki Barbolak: Is it an issue?

Captain Brien: It’s pretty sure, yeah.

Vicki Barbolak: Oh, I had no idea. I thought it was different here. People are always on vacation.

Captain Brien: No, it’s definitely.

Vicki Barbolak: Let me put the cap back on, Captain.

Captain Brien: Put it on tight.

Vicki Barbolak: So not gonna taste it in the car. Officer.

Captain Brien: This is a prop, it’s a stage prop. That’s all. We were just making sure.

Vicki Barbolak: This isn’t even real.

Captain Brien: It’s legit, so, for tonight. That’s all we’re doing.

Vicki Barbolak: Well, there’s the next radio station. As soon as we stop, I can have some, right?

Captain Brien: Yeah, of course, I’m not gonna hold that back from you, come on.

Vicki Barbolak: This stuff smells divine.

Captain Brien: I have to make sure the talent is comfortable on the Captain’s Log.

Vicki Barbolak: Absolutely. If you’re gonna drink all day, you gotta start in the morning.

Captain Brien: Yes, yes.

Vicki Barbolak: And we’re coming up to that 10:00 start time.

Captain Brien: So, who planned, like, I just saw you on the champions, right?

Vicki Barbolak: Yeah

Captain Brien: Which was awesome. And you came out with these two good looking dudes. Like, did you have to get the dudes?

Vicki Barbolak: I got the dancers.

Captain Brien: They got ’em.

Vicki Barbolak: And they were such nice guys. I worked with them around, 26, 30 hours. Getting that out.

Captain Brien: To make sure.

Vicki Barbolak: I had them over to the house, yeah, to make sure they did just right.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Vicki Barbolak: And they kissed. Yeah, that took a lot of work.

Captain Brien: Yeah, a lot of practice.

Vicki Barbolak: A lot of kissing.

Captain Brien: I understand.

Vicki Barbolak: They were gorgeous.

Captain Brien: I understand.

Vicki Barbolak: One was from Russia, the other one was from Latin America. Oh, yeah.

Captain Brien: That’s cute. It was very well done.

Vicki Barbolak: It was super fun, and, the whole show, they really make it fun. Everyone there that is a really loving atmosphere. People are so. You think it’d be really terrible ordeal.

Captain Brien: No, I would never think it was terrible, why? Why would I think it was terrible?

Vicki Barbolak: Not you, because you’re a positive person. But a lot of people go, oh, was it horrible? Was it just so much stress? And it really wasn’t, it was really fun.

Captain Brien: Yeah, I would totally think that it would be, obviously, it’s been a life changer for you.

Vicki Barbolak: Oh yeah.

Captain Brien: But not only life changer, like the experience is once in a lifetime, right?

Vicki Barbolak: I never forgot that, every day. People go, Vicki, sorry we’re making you wait. Sorry this is so long. I go, hey, I can sit here all day, and never have a better day in my life

Captain Brien: Right?

Vicki Barbolak: So, it was so much fun.

Captain Brien: And then there is a lot of talent on the show. I mean, do you get to watch any of the other acts?

Vicki Barbolak: Yeah.

Captain Brien: Or do you have to watch them on the monitor?

Vicki Barbolak: No, I got to see Courtney live all the time. And then, if you weren’t busy, you could go watch other people’s rehearsals. It was really fun.

Captain Brien: That’s so cool.

Vicki Barbolak: Yeah, that giant group from Austria, those dancers. Seeing that live was amazing. And then the Champions show, seeing Susan Boyle sing live was, like, crazy. The room, you just get goosebumps everywhere.

Captain Brien: Oh, yeah. She did a good performance, right?

Vicki Barbolak: Yeah, she was amazing.

Captain Brien: That was exciting.

Vicki Barbolak: She sang that song Wild Horses. And, that was amazing to hear her sing Wild Horses.

Captain Brien: She was great. I mean, I like the back story too, though. How do they do the back story? Do they come out and film stuff with you guys, or what?

Vicki Barbolak: Yeah, they came out to the trailer park a bunch of times. And, you know, they film like 10 hours to get two or three minutes, it was hilarious. They had drones flying over the trailer park, and, all the old neighbors are like, what’s that? Is that a plane? Was there a plane? Vicki, was that a plane? Yeah, it was a little tiny plane, with a little tiny guy driving the little tiny plane. It’s so fun.

Captain Brien: And then you got to hang out with Preacher Lawson the other day.

Vicki Barbolak: Yeah, he is so great. What a nice guy.

Captain Brien: One of his first shows was his open mic at my club.

Vicki Barbolak: You’re kidding me.

Captain Brien: No, I’m serious. Yeah, yeah.

Vicki Barbolak: Oh my love, he’s awesome.

Captain Brien: He’s great.

Vicki Barbolak: He’s so great. What a great person, too.

Captain Brien: He’s really nice, really positive dude.

Vicki Barbolak: Yeah. It’s not gonna change his thing.

Captain Brien: No.

Vicki Barbolak: He’s just such a good guy.

Captain Brien: And I don’t see it changing you. I think you’re gonna enjoy the fame, but I don’t see you like, what do you feel like? You feel like, oh my God, now I’m a huge star? What’s it like?

Vicki Barbolak: No, I just feel like a big bottle of gratitude. That’s all I feel like.

Captain Brien: Just a whole bottle?

Vicki Barbolak: This is filled with gratitude. In my body.

Captain Brien: Ah, that’s exciting. That really is.

Vicki Barbolak: It’s so great.

Captain Brien: And, you’re married. You’re on your third marriage.

Vicki Barbolak: Third marriage. My favorite and current husband Lou is a piano player at the Comedy Store, so. He’s a great guy.

Captain Brien: And, you met him playing the piano. Do you sing, or do you just enjoy his piano playing?

Vicki Barbolak: No, I don’t sing, ever.

Captain Brien: Nothing.

Vicki Barbolak: Because I love people.

Captain Brien: I’m terrible at singing.

Vicki Barbolak: Oh, me too. Oh.

Captain Brien: We should sing.

Vicki Barbolak: We should sing, you wanna sing?

Captain Brien: I mean, I could try.

Vicki Barbolak: What should we sing? What’s a good Florida song?

Captain Brien: I know Happy Birthday.

Vicki Barbolak: That’s a good one.

Captain Brien: That’s a really, that’s a good one, right?

Vicki Barbolak: We gotta sing the bottle of rum song.

Captain Brien: Oh, is there a rum song? ♪ 99 bottles of rum on the wall. ♪

Vicki Barbolak: No, a bottle. Rum, I can’t remember right now.

Captain Brien: What is it? ♪ Drink one down ♪ ♪ Pass it around ♪ No? That’s a beer. Damn, I don’t even know of a song.

Vicki Barbolak: You know, I think we’re doing people a favor right now.

Captain Brien: Yeah, I’m so bad. So not musically talented. I don’t even remember the songs. Not even nursery rhymes, hardly.

Vicki Barbolak: Can’t do it.

Captain Brien: Only nursery rhymes I tend to remember, is, Dice.

Vicki Barbolak: Oh yeah, those are so funny.

Captain Brien: Right?

Vicki Barbolak: Telling your little children those. Chickory, chickory doc.

Captain Brien: Oh my God, I don’t think this one goes like that. My daughter’s like, daddy, that’s not the right one, daddy.

Vicki Barbolak: No.

Captain Brien: And she’s at school.

Vicki Barbolak: You know what I’ve been worried about lately, I went to the BevMo the other day, and they sell tiny little.

Captain Brien: Where’d you go?

Vicki Barbolak: BevMo.

Captain Brien: What’s that?

Vicki Barbolak: A liquor store, you don’t have those?

Captain Brien: No.

Vicki Barbolak: It’s like a giant, it’s like Costco of liquor.

Captain Brien: Oh, I need to get hooked up with them, right?

Vicki Barbolak: Yes, of course.

Captain Brien: They could start carrying my brand.

Vicki Barbolak: I’ll bring it over. I know everyone at every BevMo. And so, they sell these little juice boxes by the cash registers. The same size boxes as Juicy Juice. With cocktails.

Captain Brien: Oh, perfect.

Vicki Barbolak: And I’m like, how many mothers are gonna be asleep when their kids are packing their little lunches. They’re gonna be drinking, you know, a margarita at their little kindergarten lunch.

Captain Brien: But what about the, like the wine? You see all these new wine carriers and stuff. Is it a problem? Like, are people struggling to drink wine, that they have to come up with all these creative new cases, and ways to travel with it?

Vicki Barbolak: It is just, I think people like.

Captain Brien: Like I see the wine purse now. The wine necklace. Have you seen the wine watch?

Vicki Barbolak: I have not got a wine watch. I’ve got a wine purse, and I’ve got a wine backpack. But, the wine boxes for individual carry, and for picnics and stuff, and also for driving on your way to work when you, when you, you know.

Captain Brien: Need another bottle.

Vicki Barbolak: Not in your car.

Captain Brien: You don’t want a bottle rolling around. A box is much better.

Vicki Barbolak: So much quieter.

Captain Brien: Yeah, yeah. And then you have the cork earrings.

Vicki Barbolak: I have the cork earrings, of course.

Captain Brien: And, did you make those?

Vicki Barbolak: A lady in my trailer park makes them. But I did drink this wine.

Captain Brien: That’s beautiful.

Vicki Barbolak: Yeah, she makes them. I give her, she needs a little money, so it works out perfect.

Captain Brien: Yeah, so you plug it.

Vicki Barbolak: Yeah. So.

Captain Brien: Well, you’re gonna be at Off the Hook Comedy Club. Tonight’s show is nine o’clock. That’s Thursday.

Vicki Barbolak: Party down tonight, ladies.

Captain Brien: And, the Friday is seven and nine, and Saturday is seven and nine. And Sunday is seven. Get tickets at offthehookcomedy.com. But of course, do you want to give away a ticket right now? Two tickets to tonight’s show? What do they have to do?

Vicki Barbolak: They could do something?

Captain Brien: Yeah, let’s let them, make them do something.

Vicki Barbolak: Call and tell us a joke?

Captain Brien: You have to message us right now. What city you’re in. If you’re in Naples or Fort Myers, then you have to message us, and you have to say who your favorite person is on AGT.

Vicki Barbolak: Okay.

Captain Brien: Like, the judges.

Vicki Barbolak: Okay, the judges.

Captain Brien: Who’s your favorite judge?

Vicki Barbolak: It’s gotta be Simon.

Captain Brien: Yeah, of course, he fell in love with you.

Vicki Barbolak: I’m in love with him.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Vicki Barbolak: Yeah, and his wife is in really good health. I probably don’t have a shot there.

Captain Brien: Dammit.

Vicki Barbolak: But, you know, it doesn’t matter, because it’s like, I believe in like, you gotta be attracted to other men, especially if you’re married or in your relationship. People feel like it’s putting gas in your tank. Because when you’re with your husband or something, you ask them to speak, in my case, in a British accent. And it just brings everything new.

Captain Brien: Right, it’s a whole new.

Vicki Barbolak: I’m all over Lou, I’m attacking him, like.

Captain Brien: It’s a whole new, it’s a new guy.

Vicki Barbolak: I’m putting him in a little black T-shirt. He doesn’t mind.

Captain Brien: No, do you make him sit behind the table and judge you?

Vicki Barbolak: And judge me?

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Vicki Barbolak: For what I do for that, he’s very happy to do it.

Captain Brien: No buzzer, if he gives you the buzzer, forget about it.

Vicki Barbolak: Not that he hasn’t.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Vicki Barbolak: Yeah

Captain Brien: One buzzer, he’s done.

Vicki Barbolak: It makes me jump like a seal.

Captain Brien: So listen, the cutest thing you said about Lou, though, was his Louber. He gave you a Louber ride?

Vicki Barbolak: Yeah, that is the first thing.

Captain Brien: That’s the cutest thing.

Vicki Barbolak: I couldn’t get an Uber, so I had to call a Louber, and that’s how it started.

Captain Brien: I love that joke. You know why, maybe I like it so much is because, my mom and dad, they’ve been married over 50 years.

Vicki Barbolak: Wow.

Captain Brien: And, they met, as well, at school, but my mom needed a ride home, and she never wanted to date my dad, until one day, my dad, my grandfather told my mom, you need a ride home today, because you have all this stuff to carry. Why don’t you ask that guy that asks you every day? And my dad was in, and that was it.

Vicki Barbolak: That’s so cool.

Captain Brien: Yeah, yeah, so, he got a Santos.

Vicki Barbolak: See, never give up.

Captain Brien: Because his name is Santo.

Vicki Barbolak: Never give up.

Captain Brien: So I gotta come up with a funny ride for him.

Vicki Barbolak: Santo, his name is Santos?

Captain Brien: Yes, Santo.

Vicki Barbolak: Santo, what a cool name.

Captain Brien: Yeah, so he’s Italian.

Vicki Barbolak: I love it, of course he’s Italian.

Captain Brien: That’s my middle name.

Vicki Barbolak: Delicious.

Captain Brien: Brien Santos Spina.

Vicki Barbolak: Oh, I love it. I went to Italy, and the guidebooks say, don’t stare back at the Italian men, or they’re consider it like, a sign of encouragement.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Vicki Barbolak: So I was like. I did not shut my eyes for two weeks.

Captain Brien: You were gawking at them all?

Vicki Barbolak: Hey, get over here.

Captain Brien: You know, I didn’t know that, because, honestly, when I was 19, I spent a week in Venice myself. But the women wouldn’t look at me, and I’m thinking, well, it’s because I got dark hair, and I look exactly like all the rest of the Italians.

Vicki Barbolak: They’re trained not to.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Vicki Barbolak: You should have. Vicki Barbolak would’ve been hey.

Captain Brien: I was thinking, if I came here with blond hair, they’d all be looking at me, but no.

Vicki Barbolak: No. It’s the guidebooks. They all know. And I mean like, once I found that out, I was home.

Captain Brien: Now I feel better about myself. Yeah, you’re good for my ego. Because, it’s been a long time, and I was struggling.

Vicki Barbolak: A good looking guy like you, forget it. Now you know.

Captain Brien: Now I know.

Vicki Barbolak: Just head down.

Captain Brien: It’s all it was, it’s a thing they do there. They just don’t stare.

Vicki Barbolak: No, they pinch, oh my God.

Captain Brien: On the cheeks, you like the pinch on the cheeks?

Vicki Barbolak: Of course.

Captain Brien:  Nah, it’s too much.

Vicki Barbolak: On the butt cheek.

Captain Brien: Oh. On the buttocks, yeah.

Vicki Barbolak: Yeah, yeah, all the time. I felt like I had a little happy target. It was beautiful.

Captain Brien: It is nice.

Vicki Barbolak:Mm, I love Italy.

Captain Brien: I’ll go with a pinch on the butt, over a pinch on the cheek.

Vicki Barbolak: Oh, nobody does that.

Captain Brien: It’s too much, right?

Vicki Barbolak: No, God, no.

Captain Brien: It might mess up my Botox, too.

Vicki Barbolak: Oh, yeah, cack. Botox goes squirtin’ out there like that.

Captain Brien: Yeah, it’s terrible.

Vicki Barbolak: So is there any deals on plastic surgery while I’m here, by any chance?

Captain Brien: I have all the deals on that, yes.

Vicki Barbolak: Can you hook me up with something?

Captain Brien: What are you interested in?

Vicki Barbolak: I need my lips done.

Captain Brien: Oh, I could do that.

Vicki Barbolak: Well, I had my lips done, but you can’t tell, because I’m wearing pants. But, I would like to have my.

Captain Brien: Yeah, well, we do vagina rejuvenation, Dr. Dolla does it.

Vicki Barbolak: Dr. Dollar?

Captain Brien: Yeah, he’s on my podcast on Tuesdays.

Vicki Barbolak: The vagina rejuvenation? Yeah, cool.

Captain Brien: And he’ll do Botox, and lips, you could do everything.

Vicki Barbolak: I would never waste money on my vagina.

Captain Brien: Really?

Vicki Barbolak: If the man cannot enjoy himself down there, and I have to spend money on it, then I’m finding a different guy. There’s too many men out there.

Captain Brien: Yeah. And there’s not enough vaginas.

Vicki Barbolak: I’m spending money on this stuff, that I care about.

Captain Brien: That you want to see.

Vicki Barbolak: I want to see. I don’t look down there. I can’t even bend that far.

Captain Brien: It takes a while to check it out, too. It’s a hard angle.

Vicki Barbolak: Who would do that? Ridiculous.

Captain Brien: Yeah. There’s probably not an Instagram, there’s probably not an Instagram good angle on that.

Vicki Barbolak: No.

Captain Brien: I mean, you talk about angles.

Vicki Barbolak: I’m infuriated by that, actually. Ladies, stop doing that.

Captain Brien: You don’t want it?

Vicki Barbolak: No.

Captain Brien: I thought, like, that’s a thing.

Vicki Barbolak: Ridiculous. It’s a dumb thing for men. It’s stupid.

Captain Brien: It’s just for the guys.

Vicki Barbolak: It’s just for them. Enough we give them. We cook and all that shit. We don’t have to do that.

Captain Brien: Oh my God, that’s hysterical.

Vicki Barbolak: I would like my lips blown up.

Captain Brien: I know one question I wanted to ask you. I have all these questions, and I’ve given you no, I haven’t asked any of them. Where’d you get the trailer nasty idea? Like, is that a whole thing you came up with before the show, or was it? Yeah, so it was a whole thing before the show?

Vicki Barbolak: Yeah. It just came to me. You know, jokes are like little things. Just drop in your head. And that just dropped in my head one day, trailer nasty. I liked the way it sounded.

Captain Brien: It’s nasty. People like it.

Vicki Barbolak: It’s good.

Captain Brien: Yeah, no one wants to be.

Vicki Barbolak: Trailer clean.

Captain Brien: Trailer clean, yeah, exactly. You know what I’m saying? I think it’s a good marketing campaign, it’s worked out well, huh?

Vicki Barbolak: People have fun with it, yep. And we actually copyrighted it, yeah. So, I’m grateful for that.

Captain Brien: So you need to have like a trailer nasty TV show.

Vicki Barbolak: That’s it, that’s what they’re thinking about.

Captain Brien: Is that what they’re gonna do?

Vicki Barbolak: Maybe, yeah. I like it. Oh my gosh.

Captain Brien: This light’s pink, I think it’s pink. I’m gonna go for it.

Vicki Barbolak: Oh my gosh.

Captain Brien: You know why? Because it was pink.

Vicki Barbolak: I can have a drink and relax.

Captain Brien: It was right in the timing.

Vicki Barbolak: It was so legal.

Captain Brien: One way or the other.

Vicki Barbolak: There’s no way. I would just not even worry about that. I’m driving around with an open bottle of rum. You wanna run a couple of lights, what the hell?

Captain Brien: What’s the rum got to do with it? A couple lights aren’t gonna hurt anyone.

Vicki Barbolak: No, everything’s good. Running with the Captain in the morning. There’s a crocodile right there, holy shit.

Captain Brien: We’re like regular rum runners.

Vicki Barbolak: He must be 14 feet long.

Captain Brien: We’re like a rum runner.

Vicki Barbolak: We’re rum runners, that’s what I call it.

Captain Brien: Yeah, we’re bootleggin’ this. We’re like pirates, we’re gonna pillage and plunder.

Vicki Barbolak: I wanna get in my bathing suit.

Captain Brien: We need to go to the store, by the way, and go buy you some lingerie, you said.

Vicki Barbolak: I need, I forgot to bring a, is that a policeman?

Captain Brien: That’s a cop.

Vicki Barbolak: Holy shit.

Captain Brien: Ah, right in the middle.

Vicki Barbolak: Is he watching Facebook Live?

Captain Brien: He probably is.

Vicki Barbolak: Shit.

Captain Brien: We have a lot of fans.

Vicki Barbolak: Crap, I didn’t even think about that. Somebody’s probably calling the cops, saying we’re driving around drinking.

Captain Brien: Always.

Vicki Barbolak: I never really opened this bottle, ossifer.

Captain Brien: No, we’re not, we’re not drinking. We’re not drinking.

Vicki Barbolak: I can get away, I can get out of it.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Vicki Barbolak: I’ll trace my body for this cop stuff.

Captain Brien: Have you used, like, some comedy to get out of tickets in the past?

Vicki Barbolak: Yeah.

Captain Brien: What’s your move?

Vicki Barbolak: I have this one line. I did this one time. I did trace my body one time, that really happened, too. I traced my body with my girlfriend.

Captain Brien: Wait, tell me about tracing your body. What is that?

Vicki Barbolak: Trace your body, if you wanna get noticed, a friend of mine, Lisa, the geisha, I don’t wanna say she’s my best friend, but anyway. So she has this thing to get noticed, you go like this. Trace your body.

Captain Brien: Trace.

Vicki Barbolak: Trace your body, right.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Vicki Barbolak: Yeah. So, this cop pulled me over one night, I came right out of the club, he pulled me right over. He’s like I want you to walk the line. I said, okay officer, but first, I have to trace my body. And I got out of it, and then.

Captain Brien: Did you tell him, trace your body, or did you just?

Vicki Barbolak: I did it for him, because he asked me to step out and walk the line, I said, just a minute. And he cracked up. And I had not been drinking, I just literally came out of the club. And then the other time was a speeding thing, and he goes, okay, you’re a comedian. I go, I’m sorry, I’m tired. It was late at night, I was completely sober, and I had been, I was driving fast, and I was exhausted. And I shouldn’t have been driving fast, but, he pulled me over and he goes, okay, well, tell me a joke if you’re really a comedian. And I told him this one classic joke, and he let me off.

Captain Brien: And that was it, that was a good move.

Vicki Barbolak: Do you want to hear the joke?

Captain Brien: Yeah, of course I do.

Vicki Barbolak: Can it have a nasty word in it?

Captain Brien: Yeah, absolutely.

Vicki Barbolak: So, here’s the joke I said. How do you get a nun pregnant?

Captain Brien: How?

Vicki Barbolak: How do you get a nun pregnant?

Captain Brien: I don’t know.

Vicki Barbolak: You fuck her.

Captain Brien: That makes sense.

Vicki Barbolak: Yeah.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Vicki Barbolak: And he laughed, and he let me off.

Captain Brien: That’s good, that’s a good move.

Vicki Barbolak: You can have it.

Captain Brien: I’ll take it.

Vicki Barbolak: Everybody out there, too.

Captain Brien: I’ll take it, everyone take that joke.

Vicki Barbolak: You’ll never get a ticket.

Captain Brien: Retweet it, that’s a good retweet.

Vicki Barbolak: There you go.

Captain Brien: Well, thank you so much for spending time with me today. It wasn’t like you had a choice.

Vicki Barbolak: I enjoyed it, I loved it.

Captain Brien: We’re in the car, so you can’t really run away from me.

Vicki Barbolak: Hey, there’s my first trailer park.

Captain Brien: That’s your people.

Vicki Barbolak: My cherry, I popped my first trailer cherry here in Naples, boom boom.

Captain Brien: There’s a lot of them, actually, look.

Vicki Barbolak: Look at that.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Vicki Barbolak: Oh those are more like, yeah.

Captain Brien: Are those good ones or bad ones?

Vicki Barbolak: Those are star wagons. No, those are nice, I mean, I like the permanently affixed ones.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Vicki Barbolak: I’m not going anywhere once I find a pretty trailer.

Captain Brien: Well, there’s a lot of high end trailer parks.

Vicki Barbolak: You know, I’m gonna spend the afternoon, probably visiting them.

Captain Brien: Yeah, there’s some seriously high-end ones.

Vicki Barbolak: Other people go to museums, that’s what I do.

Captain Brien: Yeah?

Vicki Barbolak: I drive around trailers.

Captain Brien: There’s a couple.

Vicki Barbolak: Security, though, can be tough.

Captain Brien: There’s some that actually have lots, over half a million, just for the lots.

Vicki Barbolak: I believe it. And sometimes you can’t get in. I mean, the security won’t let me in half the time.

Captain Brien: Yeah, well tell them who you are.

Vicki Barbolak: I’ve done it.

Captain Brien: Tell them you put trailer parks on the map.

Vicki Barbolak: These security guards could care less if I’m on America’s Got Talent, they’re like, I’m sorry ma’am, you’re gonna have to get a realtor to get in here. I’m like, what realtor would believe I can afford this place?

Captain Brien: Well, thank you so much for being on the show. It’s been great.

Vicki Barbolak: See you guys for the show.

Captain Brien: Yeah, go to offthehookcomedy.com, check in. Thank you.


Episode 206 The Captain’s Log with Special Guest Daniel Dragan!



Help us clean our beaches and keep them on the list of best in the world! Guest today Daniel Dragan has started a new organization that has big goals to stay clean!

Watch full video here ————–> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOeDpSAg5XU

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!

Check Daniel Dragen out and show him some love at:

PODCAST RECAP

Miss something on one of our episodes of the #naplescaptainslog? Don’t worry we got you covered! Here you will find a full transcript from this episode of the #naplescaptainslog!

Captain Brien: Welcome back guys, I missed you for a few days. We’re back with the Captain’s Log. My guest today, Daniel Dragon. Cleanourworld.org?

Daniel Dragon: .org, yes.

Captain Brien: .org. That’s interesting.

Captain Brien: Morning. I love it, I love it. So, is this a clean world outfit? What’re you wearing?

Daniel Dragon: This outfit is just related to the weather this morning, Brien.

Captain Brien: It’s so cold in Florida, right?

Daniel Dragon: It’s only 46.

Captain Brien: Yeah I woke up this morning early and a took a, I got on my bike and then I went back in the house and I got my winter coat on, ’cause it was so damn cold.

Daniel Dragon: Out of curiosity I was looking at the warmest places in Antarctica, it’s 68.

Captain Brien: Really?

Daniel Dragon: For real.

Captain Brien: Today?

Daniel Dragon: Not today.

Captain Brien: Ah.

Daniel Dragon: But that’s the record in Antarctica.

Captain Brien: Wow!

Daniel Dragon: So, thanks for having me.

Captain Brien: Yeah of course, of course.

Daniel Dragon: On the Captain’s Log.

Captain Brien: I am always interested.

Captain Brien: I try to do a lot of things with, with as you know I am a commercial fisherman. I haven’t been commercial fishing for a long time but, I do love the environment, I love the commercial fishing industry and obviously the beaches and everything that our ecosystem has here in southwest Florida, with the 10,000 islands and all the beautiful beaches in Naples. And your goal, it’s a new organization, yes?

Daniel Dragon: Yes, ah, my friends and I got together and we decided we want to help. I know there are a lot of organizations that help in cleaning the environment.

Captain Brien: Right.

Daniel Dragon: But we live here, we love this place.

Captain Brien: Absolutely.

Daniel Dragon: For a reason, we’re by the beach, so, and we have these beaches as the top 10 beaches in the world.

Captain Brien: Absolutely.

Daniel Dragon: So, we wanna keep it that way. Therefore, we want to get together and bring in as many people as we can to help clean the beaches.

Captain Brien: And you, obviously judging by the accent and the clothing, you’re not from Florida.

Daniel Dragon: I have been here for 16 years now.

Captain Brien: Okay good, you have been here a long time. I have been here 21.

Daniel Dragon: I wanted to make a comment on, it’s really been an honor to be on your log. Because you have famous people here normally and funny people, I’m not that funny. Only my wife thinks I’m hilarious.

Captain Brien: She does, well that’s good because that’s a good start. At least somebody does, usually the wife thinks you’re the least funniest.

Daniel Dragon: Yeah and to tie that in with where I’m from. Our first date, my wife and I, asked me, “What’s up with his accent?” I said, “What accent?”

Captain Brien: It’s fake.

Daniel Dragon: It’s not an accent.

Daniel Dragon: You know, when was young, I had a speech impediment.

Captain Brien: Oh

Daniel Dragon: I was speaking Romanian.

Captain Brien: Okay.

Daniel Dragon: I’m still recovering from that.

Captain Brien: I like it, I like it. So she thought that was hilarious.

Captain Brien: That was good, that was good.

Daniel Dragon: So, yeah, I have been here for quite a bit. I do love this area and the beaches here.

Captain Brien: So what got you into the idea that you wanted to start a new, you’re shooting for the goal of a 501C3.

Daniel Dragon: Yes.

Captain Brien: I’ve been through the steps myself. So it does take quite a while. How long did you start the organization? How long has it been?

Daniel Dragon: It’s been a couple of months.

Captain Brien: Okay.

Daniel Dragon: And it started off with a concert I went to where after the concert people started picking up after themselves. There were golf carts that came in and dropped trash bags and everybody started picking up the trash.

Captain Brien: Oh that’s nice, on the beach?

Daniel Dragon: That was not on the beach.

Captain Brien: Okay.

Daniel Dragon: That was at a concert.

Captain Brien: Oh okay, like it was festival.

Daniel Dragon: Correct and I loved it, I loved the idea so much. Everybody was participating and I said, “We should always do that.”

Captain Brien: Right.

Daniel Dragon: Why don’t we always to that everywhere we go. Pick up after ourselves.

Captain Brien: I have a little superstition, so my grandfather always used to say, I fish a lot and he used to take me fishing. So he’d say, “You always have to leave the place that you’re fishing cleaner than when you got there.” Not only do you not leave anything behind, you have to pick up what’s there.

Daniel Dragon: I agree.

Captain Brien: Because you use the environment, you use the fishing. You enjoyed everything.

Daniel Dragon: Yep.

Captain Brien: So clean it up so the next person can even if you didn’t make the mess so I do. So I really do believe in that. And I just think that with Naples, Florida, we have some of the top beaches in the world. What’s the guy, Dr. Beach, he give us the top 10, right?

Daniel Dragon: Right, yep.

Captain Brien: We got the top 10 beach.

Daniel Dragon: We’re proud of that, we want to keep it.

Captain Brien: It’s beautiful, we wanna keep it clean and I think that more organizations that doing that, the better. There’s never enough, there’s always, you’re always looking I’m sure for volunteers to meet up. So, when you do you guys do it and how can people follow you and meet up and start participating in your organization?

Daniel Dragon: Sorry, I was looking down, I was trying to–

Captain Brien: That’s okay, that’s okay.

Daniel Dragon: Captain’s Log profile.

Captain Brien: No one was yelling at you, they were yelling at me.

Daniel Dragon: We are, you can find us on Facebook.

Captain Brien: Yep.

Daniel Dragon: Look up cleanourworld.org.

Captain Brien: Okay.

Daniel Dragon: Or online, just type in cleanourworld.org.

Captain Brien: Yep.

Daniel Dragon: And follow the events. This is the first event we have and it’s this weekend. Saturday.

Captain Brien: And where do they meet up?

Daniel Dragon: We have four meet up points or check in locations.

Daniel Dragon:  We’re also provide–

Captain Brien: Hey Rainy, how are you?

Daniel Dragon: We’ll also provide free supplies, we will bring the bags. We’ll bring the gloves.

Captain Brien: Yep.

Daniel Dragon: Even sunscreen and water.

Captain Brien: Okay

Daniel Dragon: For the volunteers, we do need more volunteers.

Captain Brien: So who’s providing, who gave you the money to start with the bags and the screen and how did you raise that those funds?

Daniel Dragon: We started, first I went through all my friends and their businesses.

Captain Brien: Okay.

Daniel Dragon: I asked them if they wanna be sponsors. We do have a few sponsors at this point. We have EcoGreen cleaning solutions.

Captain Brien: Yup.

Daniel Dragon: They help with some of the supplies. And Village Home and Office Care. They’re very happy to help with covering some of these cost.

Captain Brien: Right.

Daniel Dragon: And let’s not forget Naples FL Taxi. He’s my favorite

Daniel Dragon: Oh that’s great. taxi guy in Florida, in Naples. So, we

Captain Brien: And how many people in your organization now, that are gonna be there on Saturday? What’s your estimate, so you have four locations. You have gotta have four people, at least?

Daniel Dragon: We have four people. That’s me, my wife, my step-son and a friend of ours.

Captain Brien: Okay and each one’s gonna be at each location.

Daniel Dragon: Correct, the locations are Fort Myers Beach.

Captain Brien: Okay.

Daniel Dragon: It’ll be beach access 33, which is south of Lani Kai.

Captain Brien: Yep.

Daniel Dragon: Second one is Bonita Beach Park. Easy to find on Google Maps.

Captain Brien: Yep.

Daniel Dragon: The next one is Vanderbilt and Lowdermilk in Naples.

Captain Brien: Okay so they’ll meet there at what time?

Daniel Dragon: Eight o’clock.

Captain Brien: Eight o’clock on Saturday.

Daniel Dragon: And we plan from eight to 10 to pick up what we can find. At 10 we will start gathering all the trash bags together.

Captain Brien: Saturday the 20th?

Captain Brien: Saturday the 19th.

Captain Brien: The 19th, okay.

Captain Brien: Eight a.m.

Captain Brien: On the 19th at eight a.m.

Daniel Dragon: So eight a.m. to 10 a.m., at 10:30 we’ll leave and maybe meet up for breakfast somewhere.

Captain Brien: Okay.

Daniel Dragon: I do have all the details on the Facebook event. So look up for Beach Clean Up Southwest Florida.

Captain Brien: Yep.

Daniel Dragon: Our goal is to get this to become contagious.

Captain Brien: Absolutely, how often do you plan on doing the beach clean up?

Daniel Dragon: At least once a quarter, probably more, hopefully. But we wanna do, we start with the beach because it’s easy and fun for everyone and we’ll get involved in cleaning some other neighborhoods.

Captain Brien: You have a little cleaning device?

Daniel Dragon: Yes, well, I am a big proponent of concealed carry of a trash picker upper. Hold on I don’t know if you can see here, there you go.

Captain Brien: You gotta get it going.

Daniel Dragon: There you go

Captain Brien: Has that one actually been used yet?

Daniel Dragon: No, not yet.

Captain Brien: Not yet, that’s a clean one.

Daniel Dragon: It’s a clean one, it’s fresh.

Captain Brien: Alright, alright, that’s good.

Daniel Dragon: We have some to provide for those who can’t.

Captain Brien: That’s great. And those were donated by the first few sponsors that you already mentioned, that’s great.

Daniel Dragon: Correct, they helped in with the costs. So thank you sponsors for that. And if anybody else wants to get involved if you cannot clean but wanna be involved, please be a sponsor.

Captain Brien: And you’re going to also, not only do we want sponsors but we’re looking for volunteers.

Daniel Dragon: Correct.

Captain Brien: So after this post, when I put it up, you’ll be able to comment below and put the link on it where they can find you.

Daniel Dragon: Yes.

Captain Brien: And they can also, if they have questions, they can DM me and I can put them in touch with you. So you’re all hooked up, that’s great.

Daniel Dragon: As a thank you for all the volunteers that will come in, most locations, we’ve already figured out how to provide free parking.

Captain Brien: Okay.

Daniel Dragon: ‘Cause at the beach sometimes.

Captain Brien: Yeah absolutely.

Daniel Dragon: It’s problematic.

Captain Brien: Wait, how’d you do that? ‘Cause I wanna do that for my next event.

Daniel Dragon: Okay.

Captain Brien: My next event is just me going to the beach. So how do I do that?

Daniel Dragon: Well right now, I’ll tell you.

Captain Brien: What’s the secret?

Daniel Dragon: Big shout out to Lani Kai from Fort Meyers Beach, they provide some free parking spots.

Captain Brien: Yup.

Daniel Dragon: Right across the street there’s Norm’s Parking and right next to Lonnie Kai, Dave’s parking. They also provided.

Captain Brien: Dave’s parking?

Daniel Dragon: Yeah, I think it’s called Dave’s Sunset something.

Captain Brien: Is that Dave or Wave?

Daniel Dragon: Dave.

Captain Brien: Okay, I wasn’t sure.

Daniel Dragon: It’s the accent.

Captain Brien: It is, it’s definitely the accent, but it’s sexy. Don’t get me wrong, I mean that’s a chick magnet, right?

Daniel Dragon: Well it worked, I’m married.

Captain Brien: There you go, you got a real magnet. You got magnet, lock and key, all from the accent.

Daniel Dragon: Many other locations have provided or offered to provide free parking, all they want to identify the people that show up as volunteers to have this flyer printed and put it on the dashboard.

Captain Brien: Yep.

Daniel Dragon: And I’m gonna link this. it’s already linked on the event page.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Daniel Dragon: On Facebook.

Captain Brien: We can post it, you can also just post that in the comments as an image.

Daniel Dragon: Yep.

Captain Brien: And then they can click on it and print it out.

Daniel Dragon: So with that, most locations will allow for free parking.

Captain Brien: So how many people do you have signed up so far? How many do you need?

Daniel Dragon: So far, we have 150 signed up.

Captain Brien: 150!

Daniel Dragon: However,

Captain Brien: That’s impressive!

Daniel Dragon:They’re interested but not everyone said they’re going.

Captain Brien: Yeah, how many are going? They better be going, everyone’s interested.

Daniel Dragon: 50 said they’re going.

Captain Brien: That’s great.

Daniel Dragon: We need more than 50.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Daniel Dragon: And we hope to turn those interested in going.

Captain Brien: Absolutely.

Daniel Dragon: It’s gonna be fun, it’s a good cause and might as well make it a beach day.

Captain Brien: What’s the temperature gonna be?

Daniel Dragon: I saw it’s gonna be about 81.

Captain Brien: Ah so you can wear your bikini and get a tan.

Daniel Dragon: So that’s the high on Saturday.

Captain Brien: Yeah and it’s beautiful.

Daniel Dragon: Much better than today.

Captain Brien: Today is a little chilly.

Daniel Dragon: Yeah, we’re excited, let me see if I forget something.

Captain Brien: What’s the website so the people know where to find you.

Daniel Dragon: It’s easy, it’s cleanourworld.org.

Captain Brien: It’s a good website.

Daniel Dragon: Yep.

Captain Brien: That’s a good website.

Daniel Dragon: So.

Captain Brien: Good domain name.

Daniel Dragon: Yeah I dabble a little bit in marketing.

Captain Brien: Okay, okay, what’s your full time business?

Daniel Dragon: I’m an insurance guy. I provide low cost insurance for the rest of us.

Captain Brien: For healthcare or?

Daniel Dragon: All types of insurance, like people insurance. Not objects, so I don’t insure cars or homes.

Captain Brien: Okay.

Daniel Dragon: It’s life, health, disability, cancer insurance.

Captain Brien: Oh great.

Daniel Dragon: Medicare and a few others.

Captain Brien: You’re in the right area.

Daniel Dragon: Yeah and it’s been doing great and now with some free time on my hands I’d like to help the environment.

Captain Brien: So somebody is doing all the paperwork now for the 501C3?

Daniel Dragon: Correct.

Captain Brien: Are you doing that yourself or do you need somebody? ‘Cause I have somebody who does that and they really streamline it for you.

Daniel Dragon: I’ll take any help I can get.

Captain Brien: Okay, I have to figure out where in my contacts they are but I know I have somebody that does that.

Daniel Dragon: That’s awesome.

Captain Brien: And they were very good, I did it to 501C3 and it worked out well.

Daniel Dragon: Introduce me.

Captain Brien: Yeah yeah they were good, they walked me right through it. ‘Cause it’s a lot of red tape, right?

Daniel Dragon: Yeah.

Captain Brien: It’s hard.

Daniel Dragon: Yes.

Captain Brien: Some organizations spend all of their money tryin’ to become a 501C3 and they never even make it.

Daniel Dragon: Tryin’ to navigate through that right now. And it’s you know, we’re getting some head way. But we still some bumps in the road.

Captain Brien: Alright, great, well anything else you wanna tell our viewers before we call it a day here on the Captain’s Log.

Daniel Dragon: Yeah, just, I invite everyone just bring your friends, bring your coworkers.

Captain Brien: They can bring their friends and their coworkers.

Daniel Dragon: And their friends and–

Captain Brien: Bring your wives, bring your girlfriends, who else?

Daniel Dragon: And their grandmas.

Captain Brien: And their grandmas, anybody who can walk and clean.

Daniel Dragon: Whoever cannot lean down to pick up, we have these.

Captain Brien: Yes. We have it all. Well no, I appreciate your time Daniel, and Dragon. That’s not a great last name, huh, no one loves that one. Daniel Dragon is my guest on the Caption’s Log

Daniel Dragon: Thank you.

Captain Brien: We had a good time today, we talked about all your positive vibes going down the beach, cleaning ’em up. And I wish you luck man, I really hope, we’re gonna push this out there and make sure that everyone comes out on Saturday, let’s shoot for 150 people.

Daniel Dragon: Awesome.

Captain Brien: Alright buddy, thanks man.

Daniel Dragon: Thank you so much.

Captain Brien: Appreciate you joining me on the Captain’s Blog. Hey guys, don’t forget to like and share the podcast. We’re on every week, this is season two 2019. And we’re gonna turn it up this year, be good. I’ll talk to you soon, see you tomorrow. By the way tomorrow, Vickie Barballo, oh my goodness. That’s a great show, don’t miss it.


Episode 205 The Captain’s Log with Comedian Joe List and Captain Brien!



Come join Captain Brien and Joe List on this super funny adventure!

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!

Check Joe List out and send him some love at:

PODCAST RECAP

Miss something on one of our episodes of the #naplescaptainslog? Don’t worry we got you covered! Here you will find a full transcript from this episode of the #naplescaptainslog!

Captain Brien: What’s goin’ on? This is the Captains Log. Comedian Joe List, what’s up buddy?

Joe List: Not too much.

Captain Brien: This is your first appearance.

Joe List: I know, this is terrifying. By the way, this is like a great camera shot. You were pulling back, so like, it’s like the background is changing.

Joe List: Happy to be here. This is exciting.

Captain Brien: Thanks man.

Joe List: I’ve never done anything in a car before, other than sex, yeah.

Captain Brien: This is your first? A lot of sex in the car?

Joe List: Uh, I wouldn’t say a lot, but you know, twice–

Captain Brien: You keep it real.

Joe List: Yeah, my aunt was a spicy lady.

Captain Brien: Oh, not in the marriage though, I bet. That’s probably not car sex material.

Joe List: No, we don’t even have a car,

Joe List: so we’d have to rent a car.

Captain Brien: Or sex.

Joe List: Yeah, I’d have to rent the sex also.

Joe List: Alright, I’m tryin’ to find myself.

Captain Brien: You’re gonna pop up here in a minute so you can share it. We’re live with Joe List, he’s gonna be at Off The Hook, go ahead, he’s probably live now, and it’s gonna be all weekend. Thursday, which is tonight, there’s gonna be a show at seven, and seven to nine all weekend, all the way through Sunday.

Joe List: I can’t wait.

Captain Brien: It’s gonna be a good time, and this is your second time here, but, my goodness, you were a rookie when you came last.

Joe List: Yeah, well, I mean I was a veteran, but it feels, I’ve been doing comedy so long. I started in comedy when I was nine years old. I’m 30 years in here.

Captain Brien: What were you telling, Jack and Jill jokes?

Joe List: Yeah, that was

Joe List: It was Jack and Jill have sex in a car. Yeah, I was here in Summer, maybe May of ’09.

Captain Brien: Yeah

Joe List: I was opening for Nick Di Paolo, and that was when the club was in Marco Island, or on Marco Island, whatever you say.

Captain Brien: Right.

Joe List: And we stayed at like a resort. I dunno if you remember.

Captain Brien: You did.

Joe List: You put us in this crazy resort.

Captain Brien: It was a good deal.

Joe List: It was unbelievable, I mean, for me–

Captain Brien: You should have paid me for that.

Joe List: It was pretty unbelievable.

Joe List: It was like the nicest place. I still have photos somewhere, on Facebook I think.

Captain Brien: They’ve actually redid that resort, and they spend like 100 million dollars to make it even better.

Joe List: Oh wow.

Captain Brien: It’s crazy, I know. Now it’s a JW Marriott. Before it was the Marco Island Marriott, and they say it’s one of the busiest Marriott’s in the world. They stay like, 99% occupied, year round.

Joe List: No shit.

Captain Brien: And enough about them, ’cause they don’t, they don’t sponsor this show.

Joe List: Yeah

Captain Brien: The hell with them.

Joe List: No, I hope they all die.

Captain Brien: Yeah, right, exactly.

Joe List: I shouldn’t say that. This is going out live. I can’t even edit this.

Captain Brien: We are live. You can’t.

Joe List: Oh geez.

Joe List: I don’t hope anyone dies. I want everyone to be great and fine.

Captain Brien: Did you get to share it?

Joe List: I did, I’m shared.

Captain Brien: You are shared

Joe List: So what does that mean? I don’t even know what that means.

Captain Brien: That means that your people right now, if they’re on there watching, which they will be, and maybe they’re, you know, scrolling through, they can say hi. If you guys are watching, tell us hello, what city you’re in. I’ll even give you tickets to tonight’s show. Can I give ’em some tickets?

Joe List: Yeah, please. This is gonna be depressing though if no one writes,

Joe List: “Hey, I’m a fan of Joe.”

Captain Brien: Hey, stay tuned. You never know, I mean, they could be watching on their phone at work, and they don’t wanna get busted.

Joe List: I hope so, yeah.

Captain Brien: They just sneak peeks. But yeah, I mean like, 180 thousand people a week watch.

Captain Brien: Wow. Between all the shows, I’m on every day.

Joe List: 180 thousand.

Captain Brien: Yeah, so that’s good.

Joe List: Yeah, that’s great.

Captain Brien: It’s been steady, so we’re havin’ fun.

Joe List: I’m happy to be here. I hope I get those kinda numbers.

Captain Brien: You brought your wife.

Joe List: I did, my wife is here. Come on out Sarah.

Captain Brien: No, she’s not here now.

Joe List: No, she’s at home, sleeping. She’s in the hotel sleeping.

Captain Brien: Do you have any kids?

Joe List: She came along. No kids.

Captain Brien: No kids?

Joe List: Sex, no kids. Oh my god.

Captain Brien: Wow, that guy just blew his airhorn.

Joe List: Yeah.

Captain Brien: Ace is the place, the helpful place, and apparently he’s helping that guy put his car in gear.

Joe List: Yeah, look up from his texts. But yeah, my wife is here. She’s in bed right now, but she’s hilarious. I don’t think she’s ever been here either, to Naples.

Captain Brien: No? This is her first?

Joe List: First time, yeah. We do Key West every year, but this is our first time–

Captain Brien: So, there is a club down in Key West, right?

Joe List: It’s not a club, uh, I guess it’s a club. My friend would be mad if he heard me say that. It’s a bar, show, but they’re kinda makin’ it a club.,

Captain Brien: Yeah, but it’s only been-a goin’ for a couple of years, right?

Joe List: Yeah, a little bit.

Captain Brien: ‘Cause they actually contacted me and I said I wasn’t gonna do it.

Joe List: Oh, really?

Captain Brien: It was too much for me.

Joe List: Yeah, it’s a lot, I mean it’s a strange place, and it’s hard to get to. It’s a weird island, but it’s a fun place. You can walk around naked, they have a–

Captain Brien: Yeah, like the Garden of Eden. Did you go up there?

Joe List: Garden of Eden? I’ve been there a few times. Well last time–

Captain Brien: Did you pull out the whole junk?

Joe List: When I went years ago, in my drinking day, I don’t drink anymore. I’m old and I’m gay now, but uh–

Captain Brien: Do you know Gary da Silva? He’s in Billerica, Mas.

Joe List: I know Gary da Silva!

Captain Brien: What’s up buddy!

Joe List: Gary’s a firefighter. I’ve known Gary for 20 years. More than 20 years.

Captain Brien: Well we’re giving you a little shout out right there. Put out all those good fires and be safe Gary.

Joe List: Yeah, Gary, come down to Naples, right now, immediately. We got a show tonight.

Captain Brien: Yeah, support the show. Buy a ticket, he said.

Joe List: Hope that’s the right Gary though. Be bad if it was–

Captain Brien: Nah, Gary de Silva, it’s your boy.

Joe List: Yeah, that is my boy.

Captain Brien: He loves you.

Joe List: That’s nice. That’s who I get. I don’t get fans, I just get people I grew up with.

Joe List: But anyway, I don’t even know what I was sayin’ now.

Captain Brien:- Me neither. Do you have ADD? ‘Cause I do.

Joe List: Well I think we all do now with the phones. Forget  about it.

Captain Brien: Is it the phone keepin’ you busy?

Joe List: It’s all I do. I just look at the phone and that’s it.

Captain Brien: And you forget it, like what’s goin’ on.

Joe List: A lot of times. I’ve gotten better, but I think I’m better than most. When I’m with people, I’m great. When I’m by myself on the road, I do a lot of looking at the phone. It’s the situation.

Captain Brien: I do too, and when I look at the phone though, sometimes I can’t hear anybody else, just the phone.

Joe List: Oh yeah, totally. You’re immersed.

Captain Brien: Right?

Joe List: Against the whole world. Part of me, some of it’s great. You can learn, like a lot of times I’m not just looking, scrolling through social media, I’m reading shit.

Captain Brien: I do the same thing. I hate reading novels, but I’m definitely learning like, what’s going on in the world or what’s trending.

Joe List: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Captain Brien: What’s trending on Instagram.

Joe List: Yeah, you’re obviously very savvy.

Captain Brien: That’s very important!

Joe List: That’s important stuff. No, I do well, I’ll read. But this is what I do now. Now I’ll watch a movie and like, three minutes in, I’m like, “I’m gonna look up the director. “I’m gonna find out where the director grew up.”, and then I’m like, I can’t even watch the movie. I keep pausing, I’m like, “Let me see “if she’s ever been naked in anything.”

Captain Brien: What about the documentaries? Those kill me, ’cause I’m like, “Now I gotta Google what’s going on “with this guy’s life before it ends.”

Joe List: Right, right.

Captain Brien: And I’m the middle, I’m like, “Ah, I already know this guy’s made it “or it’s a bust.”

Joe List: Right. By the way, this guy just wrote in that I was saying I’m old and gay. Now I remember it. We were talking about Key West. About goin’ to Garden of Eden, and I used to get naked there, but now, in sobriety and older age, I don’t get so naked.

Captain Brien: And you can’t bring out your phone at the Garden of Eden, right? They don’t let you.

Joe List: Yeah, not allowed to.

Captain Brien: Right away, they get on top of you for that. It’s frowned upon.

Joe List: When I first went there, I was like so excited, ’cause I was 23 or 24, and I was like, “I’m gonna go see some naked people.” But the people that get naked at Garden of Eden, are 125 years old.

Captain Brien: It’s not the same. It’s not the same caliber.

Joe List: Yeah, not like beautiful women walkin’ around topless. You’re gonna see an old pud.

Captain Brien: Now there is some naked resorts across the world, like in Ibiza and stuff where there’s some very attractive naked people, but the Garden of Eden seems to attract not the finest, not 10’s.

Joe List: Yeah, no.

Captain Brien: There could be some good sevens.

Joe List: It’s not a hot spot. I think maybe you get a visitor or something like that, but I think it’s also, ends up being mostly dudes that think they’re gonna go see a hot woman.

Captain Brien: A bunch of naked chicks.

Joe List: So you’ve got like 11 naked guys and a few people in their pants, goin’ “This sucks.”

Captain Brien: Right.

Joe List: I feel like I’m–

Captain Brien: I never did that. I never went to the Garden of Eden, but I know it well, ’cause I’ve been to Key West, and who doesn’t hear about the Garden of Eden?

Joe List: It’s pretty cool.

Captain Brien: It is?

Joe List: I spent some time in Key West, and I didn’t, I do now, I go there every year to do the show, but when I was young, my friend Tom Dustin who runs the show, we went down there and had a wild time, and we got robbed by two women in Miami the day before we went.

Captain Brien: Get outta here.

Joe List: We lost all our cash. Yeah, I had a $1,000 in cash taken from me.

Captain Brien: No, a lady robbed you?

Joe List: Yeah, well what happened was, I guess they were kinda like, ladies of the night. I thought I was just killin’ it.

Captain Brien: Yeah, you thought you were hookin’ up with these chicks.

Joe List: Yes, exactly. So we were walkin’ around drunk.

Captain Brien: I gotta hear this.

Joe List: And I was the only guy, I’m wearing like, jeans and sneakers, and I’m wearing like, New Balance sneakers walkin’ up South Beach in Miami, which is like, the hippest place on earth.

Captain Brien: Yeah, and you looked like an easy target, ’cause they’re like, “These guys are on vacation.”

Joe List: Yeah, I looked like a goof. I had like, you know, wired glasses and jeans from Sears, everything, all Sears, head to toe.

Captain Brien: What year was this?

Joe List: This was ’06.

Captain Brien: Okay.

Joe List: So I was 24, and this woman walked up to me and she was hammerin’. She was like, “Hey baby, you wanna party?” And I was like, “Yeah, yeah, let’s rip it. “I just got here. I’m from Boston. “Lets have some fun.” She was like, “Well where are you stayin’?” I was like, “I’m stayin’ right over here.” And it was two women. They were kinda heavy, but I was, you know–

Captain Brien: Yeah, you can’t ask for the best on the road. You take what you get.

Joe List: Yeah, I was into it, and they came up to me. I mean they sparked it, so I was like, “Yeah, let’s go to my room.” And then I was like, “I gotta find my buddy Tom.” And they were like, “No, no, he’s with our friend.” So I just thought these three random women just started grabbin’ us, and I find out later

Captain Brien: You thought you were hot shit. Like, I am freakin’ handsome in South Beach.

Joe List: Yeah, so they walked me, I mean again, these were not attractive women, but they were very nice. They were like, they took me by the arm, you know, I was elbow and elbow, I had a girl on each side, which is a dream.

Captain Brien: Sure.

Joe List: Went back to the hotel, and then one of them started, she– We can be dirty on here, right?

Captain Brien: Yeah, to a point, sure.

Joe List: Okay.

Captain Brien: Kinda censor it.

Joe List: I don’t wanna get too crazy but she took her bosoms out.

Captain Brien: Yes, she took out her boobies.

Joe List: Yeah, and she was pressing them on my face and kinda doin’ one of these things, and then the other girl, I was like “Where are you at? What goin’ on here?” And she was kinda touchin’ my genital area over the pants, and I was like “This is amazing, what a wild, “I’m havin’ a threesome in Key West, “I mean in Miami, I just got here an hour ago.”, and then all of a sudden, she was like, “You know what? We’re gonna get outta here.”

Joe List: And I was like, “What? I’m not even naked yet. “What’re you talkin’ about?” And they were like, “We gotta go. “It was great to meet ya’.” And then they just took off, and I was so drunk that I was like, “Boy, that was weird.” I was like, “Maybe I said somethin’.” And then I looked over. I could see the zipper of my bag was open, and I had all cash. I didn’t have an ATM card at the time.

Captain Brien: How did they know to go right to the bag? Were you like, “Yo, I got bags!”

Joe List: No, I think she was just rifling through the bag.

Captain Brien: While the other one was smothering you with the breasts.

Joe List: Yeah, exactly.

Captain Brien: So you were breast smothered. That was like, her Bird Box. She Bird Boxed you.

Joe List: Yes, exactly. Classic move, a breast smother.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Joe List: ‘Cause you can get away with anything if you can smother someone’s face

Captain Brien: Absolutely.

Joe List: with a breast.

Captain Brien: No doubt.

Joe List: So, she did that, and then the other one I think had like, one hand, she was kinda touchin’ me so I knew she was there, and then with the other hand was goin’ through my bag, and again, I’m like, extremely inebriated.

Captain Brien: How did they know to go through the bag and not your pockets? They’re good.

Joe List: They might have gone through the pockets also. I dunno.

Captain Brien: It was probably an hour. It was an hour of breast smuggling.

Joe List: They probably were like, “This guy “doesn’t have an ATM card. This guy’s a loser.” I don’t know, but they went through and I just had cash, and my mother, before I left was like, “You shouldn’t carry cash like that.”

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Joe List: But I just didn’t have a bank card. I just had cash, so I lost 1,000, and then my friend showed up. Oh, that’s what I forgot to say. So in the middle of it, my buddy Tom showed up, and I was like “Dude, look at this! “This is crazy!” ‘Cause I didn’t realized I’d been robbed yet, and he was like, “I just got robbed.” He’s like, “I lost $500.”

Captain Brien: Get out! They had already hit him up?

Joe List: Yeah, yeah.

Captain Brien: So they literally told you, “Oh, my other friend is taking care of your buddy.”

Joe List: Yes, so it turned out he was receiving a style of sex, you know, and they were goin’ through his pockets while doing that, so he at least received like, some more sexual– It was a little more advanced, sexually than I got. I just got a boobie smother.

Captain Brien: Yeah, and you were excited about that.

Joe List: I was thrilled with that. I mean at the time, I wasn’t exactly crushing it, nor am I now, by the way.

Captain Brien: When you’re married.

Joe List: I mean I have a beautiful wife. So anyways, that was that, and then, so it was day one of like a seven day vacation, and we lost 100% of our money. I had to call my mother. My aunt wired us some money.

Captain Brien: Oh my god.

Joe List: And I had to pay her back.

Captain Brien: That’s like the thing where you get the call and it’s fake, right? “Hey, I’m on vacation, I lost all my money. “Can you wire me money?”

Joe List: Yeah, it seemed like a joke, and like the day before, she was like, “This is a bad idea.”, and I was like, “Yep, we got robbed.” I mean, day one, but the nice thing was, we went down to Key West, and we started telling everyone the story. It’s a great atmosphere down there, and people would buy us drinks and stuff. People were like, “Oh, that’s terrible. “Let me get you a beer.”

Joe List: And we kinda milked it, quite a bit. We got a lot of free booze, and we would just tell the story together, and people loved it. We were a big hit down there.

Captain Brien: I bet.

Joe List: But yeah, it was great, but for years I’m finally doing well enough that I don’t add that $1,000 to my account when I look at my money.

Captain Brien: Right.

Joe List: For years, every time I looked at my statement I’d be like, “There should be $1,000 more!”

Captain Brien: “Ah, wish I had that grand.” Yeah.

Joe List: But I also gave this great big broody speech, where I was like, “You know what, who gives a shit? “If they need to take our money, “let ’em take our money.”

Captain Brien: Right.

Joe List: “We’re not gonna let this die.” It was like this big like,

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Joe List: rah, rah speech.

Captain Brien: Yeah, you felt, you were feelin’ it right from the heart, and the wallet.

Joe List: Yeah, exactly, we had to keep it goin’. We ended up havin’ like, the time of our lives. I got great photos of all of it.

Captain Brien: So, my buddy owns Irish Kevin’s. Did you get to go to Irish Kevin’s?

Joe List: Yeah, I’ve been to Irish Kevin’.

Captain Brien: Yeah, that’s Irish Kevin, that’s my buddy.

Joe List: No kidding.

Captain Brien: So he’s a good time. That’s how, he’s the one that contacted me and said, “My friend’s opening up a bar and gonna do comedy there. “I want you to book it.”, and then I was like, “I can’t”.

Joe List: Oh wow, okay.

Captain Brien: So that’s how I was like, contacted. Wow, that guy just threw the thing right there.

Joe List: Yeah, I think he just dumped a bottle of urine out the window, which is fine, you know.

Captain Brien: So tell me, you grew up in Boston.

Joe List: Yeah, well Massachusetts, South Shore. I grew up in Whitman, Massachusetts.

Captain Brien: Okay, and I grew up in Wakefield.

Joe List: Yeah, which is, I feel like similar towns but flipped.

Captain Brien: Right. The opposites.

Joe List: One’s North, one’s South, which by the way, we call it Massachusetts, I never thought this was weird. We always say South Shore, the South Shore plaza, but it’s not the shore. I grew up like 35 minutes from the beach. Like the South Shore plaza–

Captain Brien: Yeah, we say North Shore.

Joe List: Yeah, as in Braintree, but it’s like, we’re not on the water.

Captain Brien: Right, we’re not on the shore, like shipwrecked.

Joe List: Yeah, people would come visit or whatever and see where I grew up, and they’re like, “So where’s the beach?” and I’m like, “The beach?”

Joe List: And I’m like, “The beach is like, 40 minutes away.”

Captain Brien: So do you have the roast beef sandwiches, like Bill & Bob’s, is that a thing on the South Shore? I know it’s huge on the North Shore.

Joe List: No, well there’s Mike’s Roast Beef was a big place. I moved to Everett for a couple of years for comedy.

Captain Brien: So in Everett, so you had like–

Joe List: There was Kelley’s was not far, and then Mike’s Roast Beef, which is still there. I still go up there.

Captain Brien: It’s delicious, right?

Joe List: Yeah.

Captain Brien: There’s nothing like that around here.

Joe List: No, it was amazing. I mean someone should come down here and do a roast beef place.

Captain Brien: I did.

Joe List: You made a roast beef place?

Captain Brien: Yeah, I did, in 2005. Captain Brian’s Seafood and Roast Beef, and I did the exact thing.

Joe List: And it didn’t–

Captain Brien: It did really well.

Joe List: Oh, okay.

Captain Brien: It turned into Captain Brian’s, then it turned into Off The Hook Comedy Club.

Joe List: Oh wow, okay.

Captain Brien: But that’s how I started, and Bill and Bob, the owner came down, he says, “I heard you’re the Bill and Bob’s “from down south. “I’m gonna see your roast beef.” and he cooked roast beef in my kitchen.

Joe List: No shit.

Captain Brien: And he taught me, like, the secrets.

Joe List: Wow.

Captain Brien: The real friggin’ thing.

Joe List: Oh, I thought I had that million dollar idea by the way, but you already done it.

Captain Brien: Yeah, I did it. I did it, I did a lot. Some worked, some didn’t.

Joe List: That’s the way it goes.

Captain Brien: That’s how you roll.

Joe List: It’s like jokes.

Captain Brien: You gotta test out the waters.

Joe List: Yeah, exactly.

Captain Brien: Randy wants me to say, “I wanna hear a chicken finger.” I like to say chicken fingers. Do you say chicken finger, or chicken finger?

Joe List: Well, I’m hangin’ out with you, so I’ll start soundin’ like that again. Like when I go home to hang out with my family, I’ll start sounding a little more like a Kennedy. To me, when I was drinking, or if I’d get really angry my accent will come out a little bit.

Captain Brien: My parents have lived down here for 22 years and so have I, but my accent’s mostly gone I think.

Joe List: Right.

Captain Brien: Or is it bad?

Joe List: I don’t think it’s bad at all.

Joe List: I noticed it a little bit.

Captain Brien: My parents sound like they literally have never left.

Joe List: Right, right.

Captain Brien: I’m like, how do you still talk like that?

Joe List: Yeah.

Captain Brien: Nobody else is doing that.

Joe List: It’s interesting, because it’s just so ingrained. It’s just like how you speak I guess, but it’s weird because when I was a kid, I got made fun of ’cause I would say bathroom, and like everyone made fun of me. They were like, “What are you, an English piece of shit.”, whatever, and then I was like, “Oh, alright.”, so I stopped saying bathroom consciously, and then like, Good Will Hunting came out, and it became like, the coolest thing to sound like that,

Captain Brien: Yeah, Boston.

Joe List: so all of a sudden, like I had this accent and people would make fun of me, and I was like, “Oh god, I guess I’m a nerd. “I sound like I’m British.” So I’d change the way I talk, and then Good Will Hunting came out and all of a sudden like everyone in my class was like, “Joe, you’re wicked crazy.”, and I was like, “You didn’t sounds like that two days ago.”

Captain Brien: Like, wicked, I didn’t realize wicked wasn’t a thing.

Joe List: I didn’t either. It’s amazing how many things you realize, like Patriot’s Day is not a holiday anymore.

Captain Brien: Correct. What is Patriot’s Day?

Joe List: Yeah, I thought, that was mind blowing to me, ’cause I still to go up there every year for Patriot’s Day.

Captain Brien: And Columbus day is like, I think that people don’t get it unless you’re up there. What do you think?

Joe List: Columbus Day?

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Joe List: That’s a national holiday, isn’t it?

Captain Brien: Yeah, it seems like it, right? And they wanna tell you about Plymouth Rock.

Joe List: Right, Plymouth Rock they love, and that’s so fascinating, but Columbus didn’t land on Plymouth Rock.

Captain Brien: No, who did?

Joe List: The Pilgrims.

Captain Brien: The Pilgrims. So that’s why we get Patriot’s Day, or no?

Joe List: No, Patriot’s Day is about I think Battle of Bunker Hill?

Captain Brien: Oh! That’s what it–

Joe List: No wait, that’s Bunker Hill Day. Patriot’s Day is, I dunno.

Captain Brien: The Bunker Hill Monument.

Joe List: Some sort of revolution. But that’s not actually on Bunker Hill. That’s actually Breed’s Hill, and Bunker Hill is in like, Somerville.

Captain Brien: This is true. This is true.

Joe List: That’s some fun trivia.

Captain Brien: That is a good little knack that you’ve acquired along the way.

Joe List: Yeah, a little Boston trivia. By the way, are we going somewhere? I feel like you’re just flipping around. I dunno

Captain Brien: I can’t turn in this.

Joe List: what the hell’s going on.

Captain Brien: You can’t turn in there.

Captain Brien: I just drive and drive until the conversation gets dead, and once the conversation dies, I pull in.

Joe List: Every once and a while I look over, I’m like, “Where the hell are we?”

Captain Brien: There’s no turn in. There’s no access to get in here, so you gotta go down, turn, right, left, and pull in.

Joe List: Gotcha. Well Patriot’s Day is a holiday in Boston. I still go every year, ’cause the Red Sox play at 11:05am, and the marathon’s going on. I go every year.

Captain Brien: Which is the best. That’s a huge day in Boston.

Joe List: It’s the best.

Captain Brien: Right?

Joe List: You go to the game, then you spill out. Time to watch all the, you know, the not elite runners.

Captain Brien: I go to Pizzeria Regina, I get some pizza on the way in.

Joe List: Yeah, you can do that.

Captain Brien: I love it.

Joe List: We live it up, I mean, I love it, I go every, this past year the game got rained out, which was frustrating. I was there for the bombing, which was, that’s not a fun thing to bring up on a comedy show.

Captain Brien: No. But it’s very interesting. And then did you see the movie?

Joe List: I did not see the movie.

Captain Brien: You didn’t?

Joe List: No. I saw the real life thing.

Captain Brien: I know.

Joe List: No, I did not see the movie. I should see the movie.

Captain Brien: The movie’s great.

Joe List: I’m sure it was enjoyable.

Captain Brien: It’s really interesting.

Joe List: Yeah. That was a fascinating time.

Captain Brien: Unbelievable. Well anyway, guys, this is the Captain’s Log. Joe List. Go see him at Off The Hook Comedy Club tonight through Sunday, tellin’ the ha-ha’s, all the jokes, you’re gonna love him. You’ve seen him on Netflix, now you’ve seen him on a Captain’s Log. Joe, thanks buddy

Joe List: Thanks for havin’ me.

Captain Brien: Let’s go, we’re goin’ on

Joe List: I appreciate it.

Captain Brien: a radio station now. 103.9, then 96k-Rock. We just finished 105.5 The Beat. We’re out, and the Captain’s Log will be live tomorrow. Two episodes, so I know you’re just so excited. Seeya.


Episode 102: The Captain’s Log with Tom Cotter & Captain Brien ready to bring in the New Year!



Happy New Year! We started our with lots of laughs from Tom Cotter. Also want to thank everyone for supporting and being part of the Captain’s Log! Set those goals and Let’s kick 2019’s butt!

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info. 

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!


Episode 101: The Captain’s Log with Emma Willmann and Captain Brien Blindfolded!



On this episode of the #captainslog Captain Brien and the super funny Emma Willmann! See how well Captain Brien can do driving with a blindfold!

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!


Episode 100: The Captain’s Log with special guest Deborah from the Freedom Waters Foundation!



On the episode of the #captainslog captain Brien always here bringing the community together !

Watch full video here ————>

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!

 


Episode 99: The Captain’s Log with Meals From The Mitten author Gina Ferwerda!



On this episode of the #captainslog Brien and author Gina Ferwerda talk about her book and the true meaning of where her recipes originated!

Watch full video here ———-> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QnWozL4PdsA&t=68s

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!


Episode 98: The Captain’s Log with The Ultimate Krispy Kreme Doughnut Eating Competition!



On this episode of the #captainslog watch over 5,000 calories be consumed! Captain Brien says challenge accepted to the kids!

Watch full video here ————>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qs4Kx9JrFqQ&t=6s

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!


Episode 97: The Captain’s Log recreating a Michelin Chef 5 Star Cocolate Chip Cookie Recipe!



On this episode of the #captainslog Brien and Will Spina try to recreate the chocolate chip cookie. This recipe was rated 5 star by a Michelin Chef! Let see if Brien and Will can live up to the expectation! comment below your favorite cookie!

Watch full video here ————>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qs4Kx9JrFqQ&t=6s

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!