The #nitrocomedytour is here to tell us some of their crazy stories! Join Catfish Cooley, Andrew Conn and John on this episode of the #naplescaptainslog!
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The hilarious Erik Myers is back with his new wife Sara Myers on this episode of the #naplescaptainslog
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Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #naplescaptainslog for the latest info.
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Check HUNKS The Show out and show them some love at:
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Comedian and life coach JP Sears joins the #naplescaptainslog to discuss his comedy series Ultra Spiritual!
Siri can now help you listen to your favorite podcasts! Say things like “play The Captains Log” or “play my newest podcasts.” You can also ask Siri about the podcast that is currently playing and request to be subscribed! Just tell Siri “subscribe to this show!”
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Comedian Ricky Cruz is on the #naplescaptainslog discussing his career and friendship with the late Ralphie May.
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Check Comedian Ricky Cruz out and show him some love at:
Captain Brien and Doctor Daller tackle the trending topic of vaping! What is it? Is it healthy? Why is it popular? Tune into this episode of the #naplescaptainslog for all the details!
Dr. Daller will be joining Captain Brien EVERY Tuesday at 2:30 on the Captains Log to answer any questions you may have! Make sure you tune in and comment with your questions!
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The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free and Gluten Free Vodka, Barrel Aged Dark Rum, White Rum, and Gin!
Kimmy Sue joins Captain Brien on the #naplescaptainslog to discuss autoimmune disease!
Siri can now help you listen to your favorite podcasts! Say things like “play The Captains Log” or “play my newest podcasts.” You can also ask Siri about the podcast that is currently playing and request to be subscribed! Just tell Siri “subscribe to this show!”
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The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free and Gluten Free Vodka, Barrel Aged Dark Rum, White Rum, and Gin!
Comedians Dante and Rebekah join the #naplescaptainslog to discuss the Portland Comedy Festival with Captain Brien!
Siri can now help you listen to your favorite podcasts! Say things like “play The Captains Log” or “play my newest podcasts.” You can also ask Siri about the podcast that is currently playing and request to be subscribed! Just tell Siri “subscribe to this show!”
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The man, the myth, the legendary Tom Green joins this episode of the #naplescaptainslog to tell us about his career and his most recent project, his new album! You can purchase his new album on a green vinyl or find it on apple music!
Siri can now help you listen to your favorite podcasts! Say things like “play The Captains Log” or “play my newest podcasts.” You can also ask Siri about the podcast that is currently playing and request to be subscribed! Just tell Siri “subscribe to this show!”
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Miss something on one of our episodes of the #naplescaptainslog? Don’t worry we got you covered! Here you will find a full transcript from this episode of the #naplescaptainslog!
Captain Brien: We could do it. Let’s do it, guys. The Captain’s Log with Tom Green.
Tom Green: Oh my God, yeah.
Captain Brien: Hey, we are live.
Tom Green: Yeah, what about that camera?
Captain Brien: This one, let’s turn them all on.
Tom Green: You’ve got so many cameras, Captain Brien.
Captain Brien: We’re gonna turn everything on and go live.
Tom Green: Captain Brien’s got so many cameras. I don’t know which one to look at.
Captain Brien: Do you like it?
Tom Green: I like it. I’m not gonna look at any of the cameras.
Captain Brien: You’re not gonna look.
Tom Green: Because I don’ want to look like I’m looking at the wrong camera.
Captain Brien: No, no, of course not.
Tom Green: This time I’m gonna look around at stuff. Not gonna look at any of the cameras because I don’t want to look like I’m looking at the wrong camera, so I’m just going to look around at stuff.
Captain Brien: Yeah, don’t look at anything.
Tom Green: I said that twice.
Captain Brien: We need gas today though. Today’s the first time I think I might have to get gas live on The Log.
Tom Green: Have you ever run out of gas on The Captain’s Log?
Captain Brien: On The Log? No, that would not be fun. I haven’t done much driving tactics on The Log, mostly just driving.
Tom Green: Yeah.
Captain Brien: Not a lot of, I haven’t gotten pulled over.
Tom Green: Yeah.
Captain Brien: Thank God I haven’t gotten in an accident.
Tom Green: Yeah.
Captain Brien: Mostly just driving.
Tom Green: That’s cool.
Captain Brien: Yeah.
Tom Green: I’ve watched the show quite a bit.
Captain Brien: Well I appreciate that. You know what’s funny is of course–
Tom Green: It’s my favorite show.
Captain Brien: It’s your favorite?
Tom Green: I can’t believe I’m on this. I feel like I’m doing Letterman right now, for the first time.
Captain Brien: Well speaking of–
Tom Green: I’m a little nervous.
Captain Brien: You are now doing a Larry King.
Tom Green: Yes, yeah.
Captain Brien: Which is amazing.
Tom Green: I’m guest hosting Larry King Now.
Captain Brien: Larry King Now.
Tom Green: Which is on Hulu and Ora TV, and it’s been really cool and I’ve gotten to do multiple episodes of the show, 10 episodes we’ve done already, and I think we’re going to be doing more.
Captain Brien: Do they release all of them at once?
Tom Green: No, they kind of been coming out–
Captain Brien: The come out like daily or weekly?
Tom Green: Yep, a few a week, yeah.
Captain Brien: Yeah.
Tom Green: Daily I think, yep.
Captain Brien: That’s cool.
Tom Green: Yeah, so.
Captain Brien: And how, how’s the studio? Is it like a big production thing or–
Tom Green: Yeah.
Captain Brien: Is it, I mean, it’s legit, like, it’s like–
Tom Green: Larry King Studios. It’s amazing, yeah, it’s incredible. That’s what’s cool about it ’cause I’ve done home made broadcasts, kind of like this, where I hooked up a bunch of cameras and done web shows and things. But it’s cool to be able to go down there and have like a full state of the art television studio.
Captain Brien: Speaking of which, Josh Pray is on there right now.
Tom Green: Yeah.
Captain Brien: Josh, what’s up buddy.
Tom Green: Oh yeah, you can see people.
Captain Brien: We’re gonna do a little deal with Tom Green this week. I told them we’re going to get hooked up.
Tom Green: Yeah.
Captain Brien: Yeah, so this–
Tom Green: Oh Josh Pray’s your friend you were telling me about.
Captain Brien: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Tom Green: Who’s got millions of followers.
Captain Brien: Yeah, he’s my boy, so we’re gonna hook it up.
Tom Green: Hey Josh, can you tell your followers to go look at my YouTube channel? I posted two new music videos this week.
Captain Brien: And how you gonna rap? You rap about your new song.
Tom Green: Yeah, I have a new song. We just world premiered it. We just played it on 105.5.
Captain Brien: Five, yeah, The Beat.
Tom Green: The Beat, it’s called–
Captain Brien: And the name of the song is?
Tom Green: I want to be friends with Drake.
Captain Brien: I love that.
Tom Green: I want to be friends with Drake.
Captain Brien: I Love that. That, that kind of is everybody’s.
Tom Green: Yeah.
Captain Brien: Song.
Tom Green: Yeah.
Captain Brien: That’s their theme song.
Tom Green: Yeah.
Captain Brien: Who doesn’t?
Tom Green: Who doesn’t like Drake?
Captain Brien: What’s the, what’s the beat, your favorite line in the song?
Tom Green: In my song?
Captain Brien: Yeah.
Tom Green: I think it’s, “I know you said “no new friends homie but that’s exactly who I am.”
Captain Brien: I was, I was looking at beat, but I love the photography that you did, the footage of the video. They have to go your Tom Green, not on your Facebook, I’m sorry, on your YouTube because you have the video, and you shot it all across Asia, right?
Tom Green: Yeah, so I’m here doing–
Captain Brien: Which I love.
Tom Green: I’m here in Florida doing stand up comedy at Off The Hook this weekend, and I’m touring all the time, but I was in Asia a few weeks ago, did a three week tour throughout the continent of Asia, Hong Kong, Thailand, Vietnam, Singapore, Philippines and China, Shanghai, China. And so we shot three music videos over there actually.
Captain Brien: Wow.
Tom Green: Two of which have just been premiered. There’s a second video up on the website also.
Captain Brien: What I love about all the stuff you do, it’s so organic, like everything you post is just stuff that you create, your content. It’s original for you. And you were like one of the first guys to even do that, period.
Tom Green: Yeah, I was into skateboarding videos when I was a teenager, and I remember seeing skateboarding videos, Tony Hawk.
Captain Brien: Yeah.
Tom Green: Who I just interviewed on Larry King Now. Who is now a friend of mine but I was, he was my idol when I was growing up. And part of the reason was ’cause I just, not only ’cause I loved watching the skateboarding but I loved watching the videos they would make. And that was the first time I remembered ever seeing like videos that weren’t made by a major television network.
Captain Brien: Right.
Tom Green: And you know how the world’s changed, right, now everybody’s making videos themselves and posting on Facebook, so we’re used to seeing raw, guerrilla kind of content now. But back in the 80s, right, that was just so rare to see anything that was, and to me it was appealing to me because you felt like you were seeing something you weren’t really supposed to see.
Captain Brien: Yeah.
Tom Green: It wasn’t run through a corporation, a series of checks and balances, and you get the sanitized show. It was like a lot of, you know, there used to be this video called Faces of Death, that people would watch. It was on a VHS, people would hand it around. And it was like crazy, like, “Oh a guy jumps “out of a plane, his parachute doesn’t open “and he lands in a pit of alligators.” Probably was all fake, but it felt real.
Captain Brien: Right, there is some like–
Tom Green: I don’t like to date myself and sound really old or whatever but I’m 47 years old, you know.
Captain Brien: You’re not old.
Tom Green: Yeah, I remember, but you know I’m, if you’re 20 though, 47 is really old, right.
Captain Brien: Right.
Tom Green: So if you’re 20, that sounds really old. When a 20 year old hears somebody talking about how they remember the world before cell phones.
Captain Brien: Before the internet.
Tom Green: Before the internet, before reality TV.
Captain Brien: Yeah.
Tom Green: That’s like when we were kids, hearing somebody talking about like how grandma didn’t used to have electricity.
Captain Brien: Right, it is, it is.
Tom Green: And you’d be thinking like, “Wow, my grandma’s old, she didn’t have electricity.”
Captain Brien: How does that happen.
Tom Green: It’s almost probably weirder to imagine the world without the internet and cellphones for a young person today because we’re so consumed by them, you know.
Captain Brien: What I find absolutely amazing, is that when it’s as new as like, “Oh iTunes, like you didn’t remember iTunes?” And I’m like, that’s not that old.
Tom Green: Yeah.
Captain Brien: YouTube is 12 years old. It’s not that old.
Tom Green: Yeah, isn’t that crazy?
Captain Brien: But like my kids, they don’t understand, like.
Tom Green: YouTube, this thing we’re on now, it’s 12 years old.
Captain Brien: Yeah, right, it’s amazing.
Tom Green: Yeah, it’s amazing.
Captain Brien: It really is.
Tom Green: Rome Marriquin.
Captain Brien: Brian Fox. I got some friends in Wakefield.
Tom Green: Shelly Misorowski.
Captain Brien: Back in the High School Days, Wakefield Mass in the house, when Tom Green was hitting it big time.
Tom Green: All right.
Captain Brien: All fans, all fans of your show, not to mention fans right now. So how did you know like–
Tom Green: Doroda Blair is watching.
Captain Brien: It wasn’t a thing to record people.
Tom Green: Jeremy.
Captain Brien: And do funny videos and like, how did you know that was going to be okay? Like you could just do it. You were just hoping? Or did you feel like, “Hey I’m going to make something out of this.” ‘Cause you really went in full. I mean, you started doing it like.
Tom Green: Yeah I went to school for broadcasting. I was a huge David Letterman fan. Loved Late Night with David Letterman and The Late Show, and loved when he would go out in the street and I loved when he’d do things that were kind of edgy, like you know, go out and yell at people with his megaphone out of his office at people in the street, or deliver a fruit basket to the you know, CEO of GE or whatever. So it was like a, you know, it was something I was sort of a huge fan of. And I just thought, I want to try to do sort of a guerrilla version of that.
Captain Brien: Okay.
Tom Green: A non-networked version of that. And you know, like I was a man of traditional comedy. I loved SCTV and Monty Python and Saturday Night Live and funny movies and comedians and stuff. So I was aware that there was sort of a mainstream way of doing things, and then there was the skateboard video way of doing things. So I tried to kind of combine the two and you know I did pursue trying to get the show picked up by MTV. I mean, we did the show for years in Canada. We were on a small network in Canada.
Captain Brien: Right.
Tom Green: First before MTV. Started on Public Access, did the show for free for years, several years.
Captain Brien: People don’t get that that leads to so many things sometimes.
Tom Green: Yeah.
Captain Brien: You know, putting in the time, putting in the energy and making something out of nothing, and then you built enough that it has value.
Tom Green: The Captain’s Log could easily be–
Captain Brien: Correct, like look at this show, dammit.
Tom Green: On CBS someday.
Captain Brien: That’s right. I’m doing it for free.
Tom Green: Some day we’ll be watching this on CBS, Captain Brien on the Captain’s Log. Late night, CBS late night, right after Steven Colbert comes on, The Captain’s Log.
Captain Brien: You do inspire me for that.
Tom Green: And you’ll say, “You know I did this show “for free for awhile.”
Captain Brien: Because I’ve been doing this now for quite a long time. People say, “Well why do you do it, man?” Well it’s, number one, I like to document everything that we have going on in life.
Tom Green: Yeah.
Captain Brien: All them cool people like yourself that I meet.
Tom Green: Yeah.
Captain Brien: I mean, it’s not like, I may not have this opportunity if I didn’t have a comedy club or if I didn’t have this, the ability to turn on the cameras and just roll with it.
Tom Green: This is the new business model for show business, right, you have a comedy club, you’re selling tickets. People are watching. Presumably some of these amazing people are going to come down to the comedy club.
Captain Brien: That’s right, yes.
Tom Green: Tonight, Friday, Saturday, Sunday night in Naples, Off The Hook Comedy.
Captain Brien: To see the famous Tom Green.
Tom Green: Come on down. I’m doing six shows. And so you know, that’s the revenue model now, right. You know, we’re selling tickets here.
Captain Brien: We are.
Tom Green: It’s interesting you know, like like people sort of, who don’t do standup, who are in the entertainment business, don’t really think I think about the show business model the same way.
Captain Brien: Right.
Tom Green: Once you start doing standup, you really think of it differently.
Captain Brien: Because you’re with the people.
Tom Green: Yeah.
Captain Brien: And I think that’s also why that they’re casting so many comedians in movies these days too, because they’re actually, it’s almost like a rock star, right, where you go out and you have a concert tour because you released an album.
Tom Green: Yeah.
Captain Brien: What other, it’s not like Tom Cruise is touring around theaters, saying, “Hey everybody, come watch my movie.”
Tom Green: Yeah, although I would go to that show.
Captain Brien: I would too.
Tom Green: That would be cool.
Captain Brien: It’d be a very good show.
Tom Green: Tom Cruise started doing standup, I would be the first in line. I would love to see that. And he’d probably be really good too.
Captain Brien: I bet.
Tom Green: He’s obviously a great performer.
Captain Brien: Charismatic.
Tom Green: Yeah, absolutely. But you know, you know, Tom Cruise–
Captain Brien: You ever meet him?
Tom Green: I never met him but he went to my school. He lived in Ottawa for awhile when he was in Canada.
Captain Brien: Really.
Tom Green: Yeah, his dad was in the US Navy. And he actually, rumor has it, we were, he lived on the same street that I lived on when I grew up, where I grew up.
Captain Brien: Wow.
Tom Green: But I’ve never had the opportunity to run into Tom Cruise and ask him about that.
Captain Brien: Who would you want to meet?
Tom Green: Well I’ve met David Letterman but I would love to interview David Letterman, ’cause you know.
Captain Brien: ‘Cause of the beards now? ‘Cause you look alike?
Tom Green: Just ’cause I have a million questions for him and was just such an inspiration to me and I look up to him, so it’d be cool to be able to interview him and do that. Who have I not met that I would like to meet? I’ve met, I was doing a bit recently, I was sort of screwing around with like audience recently in one of my shows.
Captain Brien: Yeah.
Tom Green: And you know, the bit is that basically, I’ve basically met everybody except Tom Cruise. I basically met everybody.
Captain Brien: And Drake.
Tom Green: And so like name, yeah.
Captain Brien: Wait did you meet Drake?
Tom Green: No, I haven’t met Drake.
Captain Brien: But he’s coming soon.
Tom Green: But I mean, not to play celebrity name dropping here on Captain Brien’s, The Log, but name somebody, I’ll tell you whether or not I’ve met them or not.
Captain Brien: Howard Stern.
Tom Green: Met him, yes, yes, I’ve been on–
Captain Brien: Good guy?
Tom Green: Yeah, good, great guy.
Captain Brien: That’s probably one of the only guys I want to meet.
Tom Green: Been on his show.
Captain Brien: I want to meet him.
Tom Green: Yeah. Howard Stern phoned my on my cellphone a couple of times, and we had private, off-radio conversations.
Captain Brien: Very cool.
Tom Green: He was always very supportive. Okay, who else?
Captain Brien: Females, let’s see.
Tom Green: Anybody, name anybody.
Captain Brien: How about–
Tom Green: I’ve met everybody.
Tom Green: I’ve been living in Hollywood for 20 years.
Captain Brien: Cindy Crawford, Cindy Crawford?
Tom Green: Never met her.
Captain Brien: Ah, see.
Tom Green: Never met her, no.
Captain Brien: do you care to meet her?
Tom Green: Yeah. I would like to meet her. I would like to meet everybody. I like everybody.
Captain Brien: Yeah.
Tom Green: Okay but seriously I’ve met everybody. Name someone, I’ve met them. Other than Tom Cruise and Cindy Crawford.
Captain Brien: Let’s see, how about–
Tom Green: And then I’ll tell you a little, a brief story about–
Captain Brien: About, about everyone.
Tom Green: About where we met and how we met, yeah.
Captain Brien: Did you ever meet Barbara Streisand?
Tom Green: Never met her, but I did see her in a restaurant once.
Captain Brien: Joan Rivers.
Tom Green: Joan Rivers I have met. She was amazingly supportive of me. We were on The Celebrity Apprentice together. She won that season. Also I did her show In Bed With Joan, so I actually know her–
Captain Brien: Oh you did that? I thought that was a great show.
Tom Green: Yeah, it was kind of like this.
Captain Brien: Yeah.
Tom Green: I’m glad I’m not in bed with you right now.
Captain Brien: Yeah, well we have, let’s not, let’s not lie to the camera. It’s been in the past, I mean.
Tom Green: Yeah, we don’t want to talk about that.
Captain Brien: Yeah.
Tom Green: But yeah, I love Joan, and she was an incredible legend.
Captain Brien: She really was.
Tom Green: Okay, next.
Captain Brien: I don’t know. Who was the person that you’re most proud that you met?
Tom Green: The proudest person to have met?
Captain Brien: Yeah. Or the most inspiring person.
Tom Green: Probably Letterman.
Captain Brien: Letterman, yeah.
Tom Green: That was the most exciting moment for me, when I got asked to be a guest on his show. And then I got to guest host his show once too actually.
Captain Brien: Oh wow.
Tom Green: Guest hosted Letterman once as well. So that was probably for me a big deal. But you know, it’s, it’s cool. I am sort of a big fan of so much comedy and films and television, so I do get a little bit of a thrill–
Captain Brien: Do you?
Tom Green: Out of meeting people, yeah, I get that.
Captain Brien: I didn’t actually expect that.
Tom Green: I get nervous when I know I’m going to interview someone that I’ve never interviewed before. I get nervous if I have to go to a-
Captain Brien: More nervous than being on The Captain’s Log or less?
Tom Green: More nervous.
Captain Brien: Way more.
Tom Green: More nervous, yes.
Captain Brien: Wow, shocking, shocking.
Tom Green: On the scale of nervousness from one to 10 right now, I’m at around a two.
Captain Brien: A two.
Tom Green: Yeah.
Captain Brien: I really bring the best out of you.
Tom Green: Well I’m still a little nervous though.
Captain Brien: It could be, it could be a point five.
Tom Green: Yeah, exactly, yeah.
Captain Brien: I know, I know, so that’s good, that’s good. I’m feel good about that.
Tom Green: Yeah.
Captain Brien: Now that he’s put it in perspective.
Tom Green: Yeah.
Captain Brien: So what do you think–
Tom Green: Let’s put it this way though, when I’m going to sleep at night, I’m about a three.
Captain Brien: Thanks. You didn’t have to throw that in. We didn’t have to add that part at all.
Tom Green: No, I get, I have a lot of anxiety, so, ’cause you’re sort of keeping my mind occupied right now. I’m actually a little less nervous than I would be.
Captain Brien: So I put you at ease.
Tom Green: When I got to sleep, I’m like, oh my God, yeah, am I going to have a heart attack in my sleep?
Captain Brien: If you need me to cuddle tonight.
Tom Green: Am I going to wake up in the morning?
Captain Brien: If you need me to come over to cuddle.
Tom Green: Yeah.
Captain Brien: To put you to sleep like this, I’m happy to do that.
Tom Green: Yeah, okay. Yeah I know you’ve got some stuff you gotta do, so.
Captain Brien: I want to make sure that you’re comfortable here in Florida.
Tom Green: Yeah, no, it’s fine. Everything’s fine.
Captain Brien: Six big shows, Off The Hook Comedy Club.
Tom Green: Yeah, yeah.
Captain Brien: How could they find you on Instagram? You’re at Tom Green, right?
Tom Green: Tom Green on Instagram.
Captain Brien: Yeah.
Tom Green: Tom Green Live on Twitter. And I’m on Facebook. But go to Instagram first because I’m on there the most.
Captain Brien: You’re the most relevant there. You’re posting stuff all of the time.
Tom Green: I like it more. I like it more.
Captain Brien: Yeah, yeah.
Tom Green: I like the pictures. I read the comments. But I’m on YouTube also, my YouTube channel. So come find me.
Captain Brien: So come out with Tom.
Tom Green: Kevin Brasie is watching.
Captain Brien: Kevin Brasie, yeah, Wakefield.
Tom Green: Oh Brasie, I’m sorry.
Captain Brien: My homie from Wakefield.
Tom Green: The French pronunciation.
Captain Brien: And then Bob, Boston Bob and Brad.
Tom Green: Kevin Brasie.
Captain Brien: All kinds of people watching today, saying hello to Tom Green.
Tom Green: Hey everybody.
Captain Brien: They’re star struck Tom, star struck, like me.
Tom Green: So glad to see you guys. Please come out and see me tonight. And I actually have my album for sale too, at the show, a vinyl record.
Captain Brien: You do have a vinyl record.
Tom Green: Printed on green vinyl. And I have a few copies available.
Captain Brien: I need to get, I’ll trade you a signed vinyl for a signed bottle of Captain Brien’s Vodka.
Tom Green: Oh my God, that’s amazing.
Captain Brien: Is that a good deal?
Tom Green: Yeah, that’s a good deal.
Captain Brien: That’s a barter.
Tom Green: That’s amazing.
Captain Brien: That’s a win for both of us.
Tom Green: Absolutely.
Captain Brien: All right guys, this is The Captain’s Log. This is my friend, Tom Green. It’s been a pleasure, buddy.
Tom Green: Thank you.
Captain Brien: Listen, I always appreciate you coming.
Tom Green: Thank you.
Captain Brien: To the Club.
Tom Green: Thank you.
Captain Brien: One of my favorites. It’s been many years now we’re working together.
Tom Green: Yeah. How many? Like almost 10 years.
Captain Brien: Almost 10 years. And for me, it’s an honor and it’s exciting. You guys are going to get a great show. Off The Hook Comedy Club, Tom Green. This is The Captain’s Log. Thanks for watching guys. Have a good day, be the best. And I’m out.