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Episode 207 The Captain’s Log with America’s Got Talent Star Vicki Barbolak

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Special star Vicki Barbolak joins Captain Brien to talk about her experience and some of her favorite moments on America’s Got Talent and America’s Got Talent: The Champions, her upcoming shows at Off The Hook Comedy Club in Naples, Florida, and a failed attempt to sing a song about Rum in honor of Captain Brien’s Rum!

Watch full video at ———–>  https://youtu.be/m3yQUCGOTmE

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!

Check Vicki Barbolak out and show her some love at:

PODCAST RECAP

Miss something on one of our episodes of the #naplescaptainslog? Don’t worry we got you covered! Here you will find a full transcript from this episode of the #naplescaptainslog!

Captain Brien: Good morning, and welcome aboard The Captain’s Log. Vicki Barbolak, oh my goodness.

Vicki Barbolak: Ahoy, captain.

Captain Brien: I have a trailer, is it the trailer nasty, is that what I do?

Vicki Barbolak: It’s the trailer nasty.

Captain Brien: Let’s take a ride, we’re doing radio.

Vicki Barbolak: I got some Captain Brien rum.

Captain Brien: I already hooked you up with rum.

Vicki Barbolak: For the road.

Captain Brien: Is that good for you?

Vicki Barbolak: It’s delicious. Just my size, too. Nothing like a little gallon of rum at 10 in the morning to make a girl feel happy.

Captain Brien: So, yeah, so we’re gonna do some radio. We already did two stations, which was fun. We did Gator Country, in Bonita Springs, and then we just left I Heart Radio with 105.5 the Beat and the Freakshow so, it’s a long weekend here in Naples, all the way til Sunday, I’m excited. Shows are selling like crazy. We’re gonna have so much fun. And, I wanna know all kinds of good stuff about your career, and what you’ve been doing.

Vicki Barbolak: Ever since America’s Got Talent, like, it’s just like a whole different world. People come up to me, in the grocery store, in the airports. It’s just, liquor stores, you know, and not because I didn’t pay the bill. It’s a miracle. It’s just been so much fun.

Captain Brien: And how do you feel like, the future of your career’s gonna be?

Vicki Barbolak: I feel like a baby, like it just started. And, you know, I got people coming at me with television shows, and, just, like, everything I ever dreamed of is actually happening. I bought the second best trailer in my trailer park, can I, I’m just sorry to brag about that.

Captain Brien: You are, you are. But that’s okay.

Vicki Barbolak: You know I’m still the same person, Brien.

Captain Brien: You’re coming up, it’s big, it’s big time now.

Vicki Barbolak: I’m still the same person. Yeah. All is well.

Captain Brien: We can pull out here, and the sun is getting us. But we’re gonna pull right out, and just take our chances.

Vicki Barbolak: This is beautiful. Are we gonna see any alligators here in the street?

Captain Brien: I think so, right. Maybe crossing the road while we’re driving.

Vicki Barbolak: That’s what I’ve heard, they’re everywhere.

Captain Brien: So, the thing I wondered, really, is, and I briefly asked you before. When you’re on the show, they don’t do, like, they don’t tell you, like, okay, I want to set up this big stage for you this time? Or, do you do that? And then, what about the costumes, and the expense, and all that?

Vicki Barbolak: I got to have a lot of input on what I wear, because my clothes are, you know, very specific.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Vicki Barbolak: I’ve been shopping in thrift stores my whole life, and, I have a certain aesthetic.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Vicki Barbolak: And so. Sorry, this darn cough. Anyway, so I got to have a lot of input on the clothes. The first few shows, you bring your own clothes, and, so I did, and by the time you make the finals.

Captain Brien: You really, I don’t know if that’s actually.

Vicki Barbolak: Oh, it’s so good.

Captain Brien: That’s barrel aged.

Vicki Barbolak: Damn, that smells good.

Captain Brien: In bourbon barrels, you like that?

Vicki Barbolak: This smells delicious

Captain Brien: Are you gonna go right out there?

Vicki Barbolak: Just wakes me right up. I have to make sure there’s some police around before I take a big drink.

Captain Brien: Yeah, let’s do that. Let’s make sure. Let’s pour it all over ourselves.

Vicki Barbolak: Because I like to be stopped.

Captain Brien: If they pull us over, they immediately get the aroma of alcohol.

Vicki Barbolak: Is it illegal in Florida to drink and drive?

Captain Brien: Yeah, I think so.

Vicki Barbolak: Is it an issue?

Captain Brien: It’s pretty sure, yeah.

Vicki Barbolak: Oh, I had no idea. I thought it was different here. People are always on vacation.

Captain Brien: No, it’s definitely.

Vicki Barbolak: Let me put the cap back on, Captain.

Captain Brien: Put it on tight.

Vicki Barbolak: So not gonna taste it in the car. Officer.

Captain Brien: This is a prop, it’s a stage prop. That’s all. We were just making sure.

Vicki Barbolak: This isn’t even real.

Captain Brien: It’s legit, so, for tonight. That’s all we’re doing.

Vicki Barbolak: Well, there’s the next radio station. As soon as we stop, I can have some, right?

Captain Brien: Yeah, of course, I’m not gonna hold that back from you, come on.

Vicki Barbolak: This stuff smells divine.

Captain Brien: I have to make sure the talent is comfortable on the Captain’s Log.

Vicki Barbolak: Absolutely. If you’re gonna drink all day, you gotta start in the morning.

Captain Brien: Yes, yes.

Vicki Barbolak: And we’re coming up to that 10:00 start time.

Captain Brien: So, who planned, like, I just saw you on the champions, right?

Vicki Barbolak: Yeah

Captain Brien: Which was awesome. And you came out with these two good looking dudes. Like, did you have to get the dudes?

Vicki Barbolak: I got the dancers.

Captain Brien: They got ’em.

Vicki Barbolak: And they were such nice guys. I worked with them around, 26, 30 hours. Getting that out.

Captain Brien: To make sure.

Vicki Barbolak: I had them over to the house, yeah, to make sure they did just right.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Vicki Barbolak: And they kissed. Yeah, that took a lot of work.

Captain Brien: Yeah, a lot of practice.

Vicki Barbolak: A lot of kissing.

Captain Brien: I understand.

Vicki Barbolak: They were gorgeous.

Captain Brien: I understand.

Vicki Barbolak: One was from Russia, the other one was from Latin America. Oh, yeah.

Captain Brien: That’s cute. It was very well done.

Vicki Barbolak: It was super fun, and, the whole show, they really make it fun. Everyone there that is a really loving atmosphere. People are so. You think it’d be really terrible ordeal.

Captain Brien: No, I would never think it was terrible, why? Why would I think it was terrible?

Vicki Barbolak: Not you, because you’re a positive person. But a lot of people go, oh, was it horrible? Was it just so much stress? And it really wasn’t, it was really fun.

Captain Brien: Yeah, I would totally think that it would be, obviously, it’s been a life changer for you.

Vicki Barbolak: Oh yeah.

Captain Brien: But not only life changer, like the experience is once in a lifetime, right?

Vicki Barbolak: I never forgot that, every day. People go, Vicki, sorry we’re making you wait. Sorry this is so long. I go, hey, I can sit here all day, and never have a better day in my life

Captain Brien: Right?

Vicki Barbolak: So, it was so much fun.

Captain Brien: And then there is a lot of talent on the show. I mean, do you get to watch any of the other acts?

Vicki Barbolak: Yeah.

Captain Brien: Or do you have to watch them on the monitor?

Vicki Barbolak: No, I got to see Courtney live all the time. And then, if you weren’t busy, you could go watch other people’s rehearsals. It was really fun.

Captain Brien: That’s so cool.

Vicki Barbolak: Yeah, that giant group from Austria, those dancers. Seeing that live was amazing. And then the Champions show, seeing Susan Boyle sing live was, like, crazy. The room, you just get goosebumps everywhere.

Captain Brien: Oh, yeah. She did a good performance, right?

Vicki Barbolak: Yeah, she was amazing.

Captain Brien: That was exciting.

Vicki Barbolak: She sang that song Wild Horses. And, that was amazing to hear her sing Wild Horses.

Captain Brien: She was great. I mean, I like the back story too, though. How do they do the back story? Do they come out and film stuff with you guys, or what?

Vicki Barbolak: Yeah, they came out to the trailer park a bunch of times. And, you know, they film like 10 hours to get two or three minutes, it was hilarious. They had drones flying over the trailer park, and, all the old neighbors are like, what’s that? Is that a plane? Was there a plane? Vicki, was that a plane? Yeah, it was a little tiny plane, with a little tiny guy driving the little tiny plane. It’s so fun.

Captain Brien: And then you got to hang out with Preacher Lawson the other day.

Vicki Barbolak: Yeah, he is so great. What a nice guy.

Captain Brien: One of his first shows was his open mic at my club.

Vicki Barbolak: You’re kidding me.

Captain Brien: No, I’m serious. Yeah, yeah.

Vicki Barbolak: Oh my love, he’s awesome.

Captain Brien: He’s great.

Vicki Barbolak: He’s so great. What a great person, too.

Captain Brien: He’s really nice, really positive dude.

Vicki Barbolak: Yeah. It’s not gonna change his thing.

Captain Brien: No.

Vicki Barbolak: He’s just such a good guy.

Captain Brien: And I don’t see it changing you. I think you’re gonna enjoy the fame, but I don’t see you like, what do you feel like? You feel like, oh my God, now I’m a huge star? What’s it like?

Vicki Barbolak: No, I just feel like a big bottle of gratitude. That’s all I feel like.

Captain Brien: Just a whole bottle?

Vicki Barbolak: This is filled with gratitude. In my body.

Captain Brien: Ah, that’s exciting. That really is.

Vicki Barbolak: It’s so great.

Captain Brien: And, you’re married. You’re on your third marriage.

Vicki Barbolak: Third marriage. My favorite and current husband Lou is a piano player at the Comedy Store, so. He’s a great guy.

Captain Brien: And, you met him playing the piano. Do you sing, or do you just enjoy his piano playing?

Vicki Barbolak: No, I don’t sing, ever.

Captain Brien: Nothing.

Vicki Barbolak: Because I love people.

Captain Brien: I’m terrible at singing.

Vicki Barbolak: Oh, me too. Oh.

Captain Brien: We should sing.

Vicki Barbolak: We should sing, you wanna sing?

Captain Brien: I mean, I could try.

Vicki Barbolak: What should we sing? What’s a good Florida song?

Captain Brien: I know Happy Birthday.

Vicki Barbolak: That’s a good one.

Captain Brien: That’s a really, that’s a good one, right?

Vicki Barbolak: We gotta sing the bottle of rum song.

Captain Brien: Oh, is there a rum song? ♪ 99 bottles of rum on the wall. ♪

Vicki Barbolak: No, a bottle. Rum, I can’t remember right now.

Captain Brien: What is it? ♪ Drink one down ♪ ♪ Pass it around ♪ No? That’s a beer. Damn, I don’t even know of a song.

Vicki Barbolak: You know, I think we’re doing people a favor right now.

Captain Brien: Yeah, I’m so bad. So not musically talented. I don’t even remember the songs. Not even nursery rhymes, hardly.

Vicki Barbolak: Can’t do it.

Captain Brien: Only nursery rhymes I tend to remember, is, Dice.

Vicki Barbolak: Oh yeah, those are so funny.

Captain Brien: Right?

Vicki Barbolak: Telling your little children those. Chickory, chickory doc.

Captain Brien: Oh my God, I don’t think this one goes like that. My daughter’s like, daddy, that’s not the right one, daddy.

Vicki Barbolak: No.

Captain Brien: And she’s at school.

Vicki Barbolak: You know what I’ve been worried about lately, I went to the BevMo the other day, and they sell tiny little.

Captain Brien: Where’d you go?

Vicki Barbolak: BevMo.

Captain Brien: What’s that?

Vicki Barbolak: A liquor store, you don’t have those?

Captain Brien: No.

Vicki Barbolak: It’s like a giant, it’s like Costco of liquor.

Captain Brien: Oh, I need to get hooked up with them, right?

Vicki Barbolak: Yes, of course.

Captain Brien: They could start carrying my brand.

Vicki Barbolak: I’ll bring it over. I know everyone at every BevMo. And so, they sell these little juice boxes by the cash registers. The same size boxes as Juicy Juice. With cocktails.

Captain Brien: Oh, perfect.

Vicki Barbolak: And I’m like, how many mothers are gonna be asleep when their kids are packing their little lunches. They’re gonna be drinking, you know, a margarita at their little kindergarten lunch.

Captain Brien: But what about the, like the wine? You see all these new wine carriers and stuff. Is it a problem? Like, are people struggling to drink wine, that they have to come up with all these creative new cases, and ways to travel with it?

Vicki Barbolak: It is just, I think people like.

Captain Brien: Like I see the wine purse now. The wine necklace. Have you seen the wine watch?

Vicki Barbolak: I have not got a wine watch. I’ve got a wine purse, and I’ve got a wine backpack. But, the wine boxes for individual carry, and for picnics and stuff, and also for driving on your way to work when you, when you, you know.

Captain Brien: Need another bottle.

Vicki Barbolak: Not in your car.

Captain Brien: You don’t want a bottle rolling around. A box is much better.

Vicki Barbolak: So much quieter.

Captain Brien: Yeah, yeah. And then you have the cork earrings.

Vicki Barbolak: I have the cork earrings, of course.

Captain Brien: And, did you make those?

Vicki Barbolak: A lady in my trailer park makes them. But I did drink this wine.

Captain Brien: That’s beautiful.

Vicki Barbolak: Yeah, she makes them. I give her, she needs a little money, so it works out perfect.

Captain Brien: Yeah, so you plug it.

Vicki Barbolak: Yeah. So.

Captain Brien: Well, you’re gonna be at Off the Hook Comedy Club. Tonight’s show is nine o’clock. That’s Thursday.

Vicki Barbolak: Party down tonight, ladies.

Captain Brien: And, the Friday is seven and nine, and Saturday is seven and nine. And Sunday is seven. Get tickets at offthehookcomedy.com. But of course, do you want to give away a ticket right now? Two tickets to tonight’s show? What do they have to do?

Vicki Barbolak: They could do something?

Captain Brien: Yeah, let’s let them, make them do something.

Vicki Barbolak: Call and tell us a joke?

Captain Brien: You have to message us right now. What city you’re in. If you’re in Naples or Fort Myers, then you have to message us, and you have to say who your favorite person is on AGT.

Vicki Barbolak: Okay.

Captain Brien: Like, the judges.

Vicki Barbolak: Okay, the judges.

Captain Brien: Who’s your favorite judge?

Vicki Barbolak: It’s gotta be Simon.

Captain Brien: Yeah, of course, he fell in love with you.

Vicki Barbolak: I’m in love with him.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Vicki Barbolak: Yeah, and his wife is in really good health. I probably don’t have a shot there.

Captain Brien: Dammit.

Vicki Barbolak: But, you know, it doesn’t matter, because it’s like, I believe in like, you gotta be attracted to other men, especially if you’re married or in your relationship. People feel like it’s putting gas in your tank. Because when you’re with your husband or something, you ask them to speak, in my case, in a British accent. And it just brings everything new.

Captain Brien: Right, it’s a whole new.

Vicki Barbolak: I’m all over Lou, I’m attacking him, like.

Captain Brien: It’s a whole new, it’s a new guy.

Vicki Barbolak: I’m putting him in a little black T-shirt. He doesn’t mind.

Captain Brien: No, do you make him sit behind the table and judge you?

Vicki Barbolak: And judge me?

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Vicki Barbolak: For what I do for that, he’s very happy to do it.

Captain Brien: No buzzer, if he gives you the buzzer, forget about it.

Vicki Barbolak: Not that he hasn’t.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Vicki Barbolak: Yeah

Captain Brien: One buzzer, he’s done.

Vicki Barbolak: It makes me jump like a seal.

Captain Brien: So listen, the cutest thing you said about Lou, though, was his Louber. He gave you a Louber ride?

Vicki Barbolak: Yeah, that is the first thing.

Captain Brien: That’s the cutest thing.

Vicki Barbolak: I couldn’t get an Uber, so I had to call a Louber, and that’s how it started.

Captain Brien: I love that joke. You know why, maybe I like it so much is because, my mom and dad, they’ve been married over 50 years.

Vicki Barbolak: Wow.

Captain Brien: And, they met, as well, at school, but my mom needed a ride home, and she never wanted to date my dad, until one day, my dad, my grandfather told my mom, you need a ride home today, because you have all this stuff to carry. Why don’t you ask that guy that asks you every day? And my dad was in, and that was it.

Vicki Barbolak: That’s so cool.

Captain Brien: Yeah, yeah, so, he got a Santos.

Vicki Barbolak: See, never give up.

Captain Brien: Because his name is Santo.

Vicki Barbolak: Never give up.

Captain Brien: So I gotta come up with a funny ride for him.

Vicki Barbolak: Santo, his name is Santos?

Captain Brien: Yes, Santo.

Vicki Barbolak: Santo, what a cool name.

Captain Brien: Yeah, so he’s Italian.

Vicki Barbolak: I love it, of course he’s Italian.

Captain Brien: That’s my middle name.

Vicki Barbolak: Delicious.

Captain Brien: Brien Santos Spina.

Vicki Barbolak: Oh, I love it. I went to Italy, and the guidebooks say, don’t stare back at the Italian men, or they’re consider it like, a sign of encouragement.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Vicki Barbolak: So I was like. I did not shut my eyes for two weeks.

Captain Brien: You were gawking at them all?

Vicki Barbolak: Hey, get over here.

Captain Brien: You know, I didn’t know that, because, honestly, when I was 19, I spent a week in Venice myself. But the women wouldn’t look at me, and I’m thinking, well, it’s because I got dark hair, and I look exactly like all the rest of the Italians.

Vicki Barbolak: They’re trained not to.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Vicki Barbolak: You should have. Vicki Barbolak would’ve been hey.

Captain Brien: I was thinking, if I came here with blond hair, they’d all be looking at me, but no.

Vicki Barbolak: No. It’s the guidebooks. They all know. And I mean like, once I found that out, I was home.

Captain Brien: Now I feel better about myself. Yeah, you’re good for my ego. Because, it’s been a long time, and I was struggling.

Vicki Barbolak: A good looking guy like you, forget it. Now you know.

Captain Brien: Now I know.

Vicki Barbolak: Just head down.

Captain Brien: It’s all it was, it’s a thing they do there. They just don’t stare.

Vicki Barbolak: No, they pinch, oh my God.

Captain Brien: On the cheeks, you like the pinch on the cheeks?

Vicki Barbolak: Of course.

Captain Brien:  Nah, it’s too much.

Vicki Barbolak: On the butt cheek.

Captain Brien: Oh. On the buttocks, yeah.

Vicki Barbolak: Yeah, yeah, all the time. I felt like I had a little happy target. It was beautiful.

Captain Brien: It is nice.

Vicki Barbolak:Mm, I love Italy.

Captain Brien: I’ll go with a pinch on the butt, over a pinch on the cheek.

Vicki Barbolak: Oh, nobody does that.

Captain Brien: It’s too much, right?

Vicki Barbolak: No, God, no.

Captain Brien: It might mess up my Botox, too.

Vicki Barbolak: Oh, yeah, cack. Botox goes squirtin’ out there like that.

Captain Brien: Yeah, it’s terrible.

Vicki Barbolak: So is there any deals on plastic surgery while I’m here, by any chance?

Captain Brien: I have all the deals on that, yes.

Vicki Barbolak: Can you hook me up with something?

Captain Brien: What are you interested in?

Vicki Barbolak: I need my lips done.

Captain Brien: Oh, I could do that.

Vicki Barbolak: Well, I had my lips done, but you can’t tell, because I’m wearing pants. But, I would like to have my.

Captain Brien: Yeah, well, we do vagina rejuvenation, Dr. Dolla does it.

Vicki Barbolak: Dr. Dollar?

Captain Brien: Yeah, he’s on my podcast on Tuesdays.

Vicki Barbolak: The vagina rejuvenation? Yeah, cool.

Captain Brien: And he’ll do Botox, and lips, you could do everything.

Vicki Barbolak: I would never waste money on my vagina.

Captain Brien: Really?

Vicki Barbolak: If the man cannot enjoy himself down there, and I have to spend money on it, then I’m finding a different guy. There’s too many men out there.

Captain Brien: Yeah. And there’s not enough vaginas.

Vicki Barbolak: I’m spending money on this stuff, that I care about.

Captain Brien: That you want to see.

Vicki Barbolak: I want to see. I don’t look down there. I can’t even bend that far.

Captain Brien: It takes a while to check it out, too. It’s a hard angle.

Vicki Barbolak: Who would do that? Ridiculous.

Captain Brien: Yeah. There’s probably not an Instagram, there’s probably not an Instagram good angle on that.

Vicki Barbolak: No.

Captain Brien: I mean, you talk about angles.

Vicki Barbolak: I’m infuriated by that, actually. Ladies, stop doing that.

Captain Brien: You don’t want it?

Vicki Barbolak: No.

Captain Brien: I thought, like, that’s a thing.

Vicki Barbolak: Ridiculous. It’s a dumb thing for men. It’s stupid.

Captain Brien: It’s just for the guys.

Vicki Barbolak: It’s just for them. Enough we give them. We cook and all that shit. We don’t have to do that.

Captain Brien: Oh my God, that’s hysterical.

Vicki Barbolak: I would like my lips blown up.

Captain Brien: I know one question I wanted to ask you. I have all these questions, and I’ve given you no, I haven’t asked any of them. Where’d you get the trailer nasty idea? Like, is that a whole thing you came up with before the show, or was it? Yeah, so it was a whole thing before the show?

Vicki Barbolak: Yeah. It just came to me. You know, jokes are like little things. Just drop in your head. And that just dropped in my head one day, trailer nasty. I liked the way it sounded.

Captain Brien: It’s nasty. People like it.

Vicki Barbolak: It’s good.

Captain Brien: Yeah, no one wants to be.

Vicki Barbolak: Trailer clean.

Captain Brien: Trailer clean, yeah, exactly. You know what I’m saying? I think it’s a good marketing campaign, it’s worked out well, huh?

Vicki Barbolak: People have fun with it, yep. And we actually copyrighted it, yeah. So, I’m grateful for that.

Captain Brien: So you need to have like a trailer nasty TV show.

Vicki Barbolak: That’s it, that’s what they’re thinking about.

Captain Brien: Is that what they’re gonna do?

Vicki Barbolak: Maybe, yeah. I like it. Oh my gosh.

Captain Brien: This light’s pink, I think it’s pink. I’m gonna go for it.

Vicki Barbolak: Oh my gosh.

Captain Brien: You know why? Because it was pink.

Vicki Barbolak: I can have a drink and relax.

Captain Brien: It was right in the timing.

Vicki Barbolak: It was so legal.

Captain Brien: One way or the other.

Vicki Barbolak: There’s no way. I would just not even worry about that. I’m driving around with an open bottle of rum. You wanna run a couple of lights, what the hell?

Captain Brien: What’s the rum got to do with it? A couple lights aren’t gonna hurt anyone.

Vicki Barbolak: No, everything’s good. Running with the Captain in the morning. There’s a crocodile right there, holy shit.

Captain Brien: We’re like regular rum runners.

Vicki Barbolak: He must be 14 feet long.

Captain Brien: We’re like a rum runner.

Vicki Barbolak: We’re rum runners, that’s what I call it.

Captain Brien: Yeah, we’re bootleggin’ this. We’re like pirates, we’re gonna pillage and plunder.

Vicki Barbolak: I wanna get in my bathing suit.

Captain Brien: We need to go to the store, by the way, and go buy you some lingerie, you said.

Vicki Barbolak: I need, I forgot to bring a, is that a policeman?

Captain Brien: That’s a cop.

Vicki Barbolak: Holy shit.

Captain Brien: Ah, right in the middle.

Vicki Barbolak: Is he watching Facebook Live?

Captain Brien: He probably is.

Vicki Barbolak: Shit.

Captain Brien: We have a lot of fans.

Vicki Barbolak: Crap, I didn’t even think about that. Somebody’s probably calling the cops, saying we’re driving around drinking.

Captain Brien: Always.

Vicki Barbolak: I never really opened this bottle, ossifer.

Captain Brien: No, we’re not, we’re not drinking. We’re not drinking.

Vicki Barbolak: I can get away, I can get out of it.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Vicki Barbolak: I’ll trace my body for this cop stuff.

Captain Brien: Have you used, like, some comedy to get out of tickets in the past?

Vicki Barbolak: Yeah.

Captain Brien: What’s your move?

Vicki Barbolak: I have this one line. I did this one time. I did trace my body one time, that really happened, too. I traced my body with my girlfriend.

Captain Brien: Wait, tell me about tracing your body. What is that?

Vicki Barbolak: Trace your body, if you wanna get noticed, a friend of mine, Lisa, the geisha, I don’t wanna say she’s my best friend, but anyway. So she has this thing to get noticed, you go like this. Trace your body.

Captain Brien: Trace.

Vicki Barbolak: Trace your body, right.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Vicki Barbolak: Yeah. So, this cop pulled me over one night, I came right out of the club, he pulled me right over. He’s like I want you to walk the line. I said, okay officer, but first, I have to trace my body. And I got out of it, and then.

Captain Brien: Did you tell him, trace your body, or did you just?

Vicki Barbolak: I did it for him, because he asked me to step out and walk the line, I said, just a minute. And he cracked up. And I had not been drinking, I just literally came out of the club. And then the other time was a speeding thing, and he goes, okay, you’re a comedian. I go, I’m sorry, I’m tired. It was late at night, I was completely sober, and I had been, I was driving fast, and I was exhausted. And I shouldn’t have been driving fast, but, he pulled me over and he goes, okay, well, tell me a joke if you’re really a comedian. And I told him this one classic joke, and he let me off.

Captain Brien: And that was it, that was a good move.

Vicki Barbolak: Do you want to hear the joke?

Captain Brien: Yeah, of course I do.

Vicki Barbolak: Can it have a nasty word in it?

Captain Brien: Yeah, absolutely.

Vicki Barbolak: So, here’s the joke I said. How do you get a nun pregnant?

Captain Brien: How?

Vicki Barbolak: How do you get a nun pregnant?

Captain Brien: I don’t know.

Vicki Barbolak: You fuck her.

Captain Brien: That makes sense.

Vicki Barbolak: Yeah.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Vicki Barbolak: And he laughed, and he let me off.

Captain Brien: That’s good, that’s a good move.

Vicki Barbolak: You can have it.

Captain Brien: I’ll take it.

Vicki Barbolak: Everybody out there, too.

Captain Brien: I’ll take it, everyone take that joke.

Vicki Barbolak: You’ll never get a ticket.

Captain Brien: Retweet it, that’s a good retweet.

Vicki Barbolak: There you go.

Captain Brien: Well, thank you so much for spending time with me today. It wasn’t like you had a choice.

Vicki Barbolak: I enjoyed it, I loved it.

Captain Brien: We’re in the car, so you can’t really run away from me.

Vicki Barbolak: Hey, there’s my first trailer park.

Captain Brien: That’s your people.

Vicki Barbolak: My cherry, I popped my first trailer cherry here in Naples, boom boom.

Captain Brien: There’s a lot of them, actually, look.

Vicki Barbolak: Look at that.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Vicki Barbolak: Oh those are more like, yeah.

Captain Brien: Are those good ones or bad ones?

Vicki Barbolak: Those are star wagons. No, those are nice, I mean, I like the permanently affixed ones.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Vicki Barbolak: I’m not going anywhere once I find a pretty trailer.

Captain Brien: Well, there’s a lot of high end trailer parks.

Vicki Barbolak: You know, I’m gonna spend the afternoon, probably visiting them.

Captain Brien: Yeah, there’s some seriously high-end ones.

Vicki Barbolak: Other people go to museums, that’s what I do.

Captain Brien: Yeah?

Vicki Barbolak: I drive around trailers.

Captain Brien: There’s a couple.

Vicki Barbolak: Security, though, can be tough.

Captain Brien: There’s some that actually have lots, over half a million, just for the lots.

Vicki Barbolak: I believe it. And sometimes you can’t get in. I mean, the security won’t let me in half the time.

Captain Brien: Yeah, well tell them who you are.

Vicki Barbolak: I’ve done it.

Captain Brien: Tell them you put trailer parks on the map.

Vicki Barbolak: These security guards could care less if I’m on America’s Got Talent, they’re like, I’m sorry ma’am, you’re gonna have to get a realtor to get in here. I’m like, what realtor would believe I can afford this place?

Captain Brien: Well, thank you so much for being on the show. It’s been great.

Vicki Barbolak: See you guys for the show.

Captain Brien: Yeah, go to offthehookcomedy.com, check in. Thank you.

Episode 205 The Captain’s Log with Comedian Joe List and Captain Brien!

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Come join Captain Brien and Joe List on this super funny adventure!

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!

Check Joe List out and send him some love at:

PODCAST RECAP

Miss something on one of our episodes of the #naplescaptainslog? Don’t worry we got you covered! Here you will find a full transcript from this episode of the #naplescaptainslog!

Captain Brien: What’s goin’ on? This is the Captains Log. Comedian Joe List, what’s up buddy?

Joe List: Not too much.

Captain Brien: This is your first appearance.

Joe List: I know, this is terrifying. By the way, this is like a great camera shot. You were pulling back, so like, it’s like the background is changing.

Joe List: Happy to be here. This is exciting.

Captain Brien: Thanks man.

Joe List: I’ve never done anything in a car before, other than sex, yeah.

Captain Brien: This is your first? A lot of sex in the car?

Joe List: Uh, I wouldn’t say a lot, but you know, twice–

Captain Brien: You keep it real.

Joe List: Yeah, my aunt was a spicy lady.

Captain Brien: Oh, not in the marriage though, I bet. That’s probably not car sex material.

Joe List: No, we don’t even have a car,

Joe List: so we’d have to rent a car.

Captain Brien: Or sex.

Joe List: Yeah, I’d have to rent the sex also.

Joe List: Alright, I’m tryin’ to find myself.

Captain Brien: You’re gonna pop up here in a minute so you can share it. We’re live with Joe List, he’s gonna be at Off The Hook, go ahead, he’s probably live now, and it’s gonna be all weekend. Thursday, which is tonight, there’s gonna be a show at seven, and seven to nine all weekend, all the way through Sunday.

Joe List: I can’t wait.

Captain Brien: It’s gonna be a good time, and this is your second time here, but, my goodness, you were a rookie when you came last.

Joe List: Yeah, well, I mean I was a veteran, but it feels, I’ve been doing comedy so long. I started in comedy when I was nine years old. I’m 30 years in here.

Captain Brien: What were you telling, Jack and Jill jokes?

Joe List: Yeah, that was

Joe List: It was Jack and Jill have sex in a car. Yeah, I was here in Summer, maybe May of ’09.

Captain Brien: Yeah

Joe List: I was opening for Nick Di Paolo, and that was when the club was in Marco Island, or on Marco Island, whatever you say.

Captain Brien: Right.

Joe List: And we stayed at like a resort. I dunno if you remember.

Captain Brien: You did.

Joe List: You put us in this crazy resort.

Captain Brien: It was a good deal.

Joe List: It was unbelievable, I mean, for me–

Captain Brien: You should have paid me for that.

Joe List: It was pretty unbelievable.

Joe List: It was like the nicest place. I still have photos somewhere, on Facebook I think.

Captain Brien: They’ve actually redid that resort, and they spend like 100 million dollars to make it even better.

Joe List: Oh wow.

Captain Brien: It’s crazy, I know. Now it’s a JW Marriott. Before it was the Marco Island Marriott, and they say it’s one of the busiest Marriott’s in the world. They stay like, 99% occupied, year round.

Joe List: No shit.

Captain Brien: And enough about them, ’cause they don’t, they don’t sponsor this show.

Joe List: Yeah

Captain Brien: The hell with them.

Joe List: No, I hope they all die.

Captain Brien: Yeah, right, exactly.

Joe List: I shouldn’t say that. This is going out live. I can’t even edit this.

Captain Brien: We are live. You can’t.

Joe List: Oh geez.

Joe List: I don’t hope anyone dies. I want everyone to be great and fine.

Captain Brien: Did you get to share it?

Joe List: I did, I’m shared.

Captain Brien: You are shared

Joe List: So what does that mean? I don’t even know what that means.

Captain Brien: That means that your people right now, if they’re on there watching, which they will be, and maybe they’re, you know, scrolling through, they can say hi. If you guys are watching, tell us hello, what city you’re in. I’ll even give you tickets to tonight’s show. Can I give ’em some tickets?

Joe List: Yeah, please. This is gonna be depressing though if no one writes,

Joe List: “Hey, I’m a fan of Joe.”

Captain Brien: Hey, stay tuned. You never know, I mean, they could be watching on their phone at work, and they don’t wanna get busted.

Joe List: I hope so, yeah.

Captain Brien: They just sneak peeks. But yeah, I mean like, 180 thousand people a week watch.

Captain Brien: Wow. Between all the shows, I’m on every day.

Joe List: 180 thousand.

Captain Brien: Yeah, so that’s good.

Joe List: Yeah, that’s great.

Captain Brien: It’s been steady, so we’re havin’ fun.

Joe List: I’m happy to be here. I hope I get those kinda numbers.

Captain Brien: You brought your wife.

Joe List: I did, my wife is here. Come on out Sarah.

Captain Brien: No, she’s not here now.

Joe List: No, she’s at home, sleeping. She’s in the hotel sleeping.

Captain Brien: Do you have any kids?

Joe List: She came along. No kids.

Captain Brien: No kids?

Joe List: Sex, no kids. Oh my god.

Captain Brien: Wow, that guy just blew his airhorn.

Joe List: Yeah.

Captain Brien: Ace is the place, the helpful place, and apparently he’s helping that guy put his car in gear.

Joe List: Yeah, look up from his texts. But yeah, my wife is here. She’s in bed right now, but she’s hilarious. I don’t think she’s ever been here either, to Naples.

Captain Brien: No? This is her first?

Joe List: First time, yeah. We do Key West every year, but this is our first time–

Captain Brien: So, there is a club down in Key West, right?

Joe List: It’s not a club, uh, I guess it’s a club. My friend would be mad if he heard me say that. It’s a bar, show, but they’re kinda makin’ it a club.,

Captain Brien: Yeah, but it’s only been-a goin’ for a couple of years, right?

Joe List: Yeah, a little bit.

Captain Brien: ‘Cause they actually contacted me and I said I wasn’t gonna do it.

Joe List: Oh, really?

Captain Brien: It was too much for me.

Joe List: Yeah, it’s a lot, I mean it’s a strange place, and it’s hard to get to. It’s a weird island, but it’s a fun place. You can walk around naked, they have a–

Captain Brien: Yeah, like the Garden of Eden. Did you go up there?

Joe List: Garden of Eden? I’ve been there a few times. Well last time–

Captain Brien: Did you pull out the whole junk?

Joe List: When I went years ago, in my drinking day, I don’t drink anymore. I’m old and I’m gay now, but uh–

Captain Brien: Do you know Gary da Silva? He’s in Billerica, Mas.

Joe List: I know Gary da Silva!

Captain Brien: What’s up buddy!

Joe List: Gary’s a firefighter. I’ve known Gary for 20 years. More than 20 years.

Captain Brien: Well we’re giving you a little shout out right there. Put out all those good fires and be safe Gary.

Joe List: Yeah, Gary, come down to Naples, right now, immediately. We got a show tonight.

Captain Brien: Yeah, support the show. Buy a ticket, he said.

Joe List: Hope that’s the right Gary though. Be bad if it was–

Captain Brien: Nah, Gary de Silva, it’s your boy.

Joe List: Yeah, that is my boy.

Captain Brien: He loves you.

Joe List: That’s nice. That’s who I get. I don’t get fans, I just get people I grew up with.

Joe List: But anyway, I don’t even know what I was sayin’ now.

Captain Brien:- Me neither. Do you have ADD? ‘Cause I do.

Joe List: Well I think we all do now with the phones. Forget  about it.

Captain Brien: Is it the phone keepin’ you busy?

Joe List: It’s all I do. I just look at the phone and that’s it.

Captain Brien: And you forget it, like what’s goin’ on.

Joe List: A lot of times. I’ve gotten better, but I think I’m better than most. When I’m with people, I’m great. When I’m by myself on the road, I do a lot of looking at the phone. It’s the situation.

Captain Brien: I do too, and when I look at the phone though, sometimes I can’t hear anybody else, just the phone.

Joe List: Oh yeah, totally. You’re immersed.

Captain Brien: Right?

Joe List: Against the whole world. Part of me, some of it’s great. You can learn, like a lot of times I’m not just looking, scrolling through social media, I’m reading shit.

Captain Brien: I do the same thing. I hate reading novels, but I’m definitely learning like, what’s going on in the world or what’s trending.

Joe List: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Captain Brien: What’s trending on Instagram.

Joe List: Yeah, you’re obviously very savvy.

Captain Brien: That’s very important!

Joe List: That’s important stuff. No, I do well, I’ll read. But this is what I do now. Now I’ll watch a movie and like, three minutes in, I’m like, “I’m gonna look up the director. “I’m gonna find out where the director grew up.”, and then I’m like, I can’t even watch the movie. I keep pausing, I’m like, “Let me see “if she’s ever been naked in anything.”

Captain Brien: What about the documentaries? Those kill me, ’cause I’m like, “Now I gotta Google what’s going on “with this guy’s life before it ends.”

Joe List: Right, right.

Captain Brien: And I’m the middle, I’m like, “Ah, I already know this guy’s made it “or it’s a bust.”

Joe List: Right. By the way, this guy just wrote in that I was saying I’m old and gay. Now I remember it. We were talking about Key West. About goin’ to Garden of Eden, and I used to get naked there, but now, in sobriety and older age, I don’t get so naked.

Captain Brien: And you can’t bring out your phone at the Garden of Eden, right? They don’t let you.

Joe List: Yeah, not allowed to.

Captain Brien: Right away, they get on top of you for that. It’s frowned upon.

Joe List: When I first went there, I was like so excited, ’cause I was 23 or 24, and I was like, “I’m gonna go see some naked people.” But the people that get naked at Garden of Eden, are 125 years old.

Captain Brien: It’s not the same. It’s not the same caliber.

Joe List: Yeah, not like beautiful women walkin’ around topless. You’re gonna see an old pud.

Captain Brien: Now there is some naked resorts across the world, like in Ibiza and stuff where there’s some very attractive naked people, but the Garden of Eden seems to attract not the finest, not 10’s.

Joe List: Yeah, no.

Captain Brien: There could be some good sevens.

Joe List: It’s not a hot spot. I think maybe you get a visitor or something like that, but I think it’s also, ends up being mostly dudes that think they’re gonna go see a hot woman.

Captain Brien: A bunch of naked chicks.

Joe List: So you’ve got like 11 naked guys and a few people in their pants, goin’ “This sucks.”

Captain Brien: Right.

Joe List: I feel like I’m–

Captain Brien: I never did that. I never went to the Garden of Eden, but I know it well, ’cause I’ve been to Key West, and who doesn’t hear about the Garden of Eden?

Joe List: It’s pretty cool.

Captain Brien: It is?

Joe List: I spent some time in Key West, and I didn’t, I do now, I go there every year to do the show, but when I was young, my friend Tom Dustin who runs the show, we went down there and had a wild time, and we got robbed by two women in Miami the day before we went.

Captain Brien: Get outta here.

Joe List: We lost all our cash. Yeah, I had a $1,000 in cash taken from me.

Captain Brien: No, a lady robbed you?

Joe List: Yeah, well what happened was, I guess they were kinda like, ladies of the night. I thought I was just killin’ it.

Captain Brien: Yeah, you thought you were hookin’ up with these chicks.

Joe List: Yes, exactly. So we were walkin’ around drunk.

Captain Brien: I gotta hear this.

Joe List: And I was the only guy, I’m wearing like, jeans and sneakers, and I’m wearing like, New Balance sneakers walkin’ up South Beach in Miami, which is like, the hippest place on earth.

Captain Brien: Yeah, and you looked like an easy target, ’cause they’re like, “These guys are on vacation.”

Joe List: Yeah, I looked like a goof. I had like, you know, wired glasses and jeans from Sears, everything, all Sears, head to toe.

Captain Brien: What year was this?

Joe List: This was ’06.

Captain Brien: Okay.

Joe List: So I was 24, and this woman walked up to me and she was hammerin’. She was like, “Hey baby, you wanna party?” And I was like, “Yeah, yeah, let’s rip it. “I just got here. I’m from Boston. “Lets have some fun.” She was like, “Well where are you stayin’?” I was like, “I’m stayin’ right over here.” And it was two women. They were kinda heavy, but I was, you know–

Captain Brien: Yeah, you can’t ask for the best on the road. You take what you get.

Joe List: Yeah, I was into it, and they came up to me. I mean they sparked it, so I was like, “Yeah, let’s go to my room.” And then I was like, “I gotta find my buddy Tom.” And they were like, “No, no, he’s with our friend.” So I just thought these three random women just started grabbin’ us, and I find out later

Captain Brien: You thought you were hot shit. Like, I am freakin’ handsome in South Beach.

Joe List: Yeah, so they walked me, I mean again, these were not attractive women, but they were very nice. They were like, they took me by the arm, you know, I was elbow and elbow, I had a girl on each side, which is a dream.

Captain Brien: Sure.

Joe List: Went back to the hotel, and then one of them started, she– We can be dirty on here, right?

Captain Brien: Yeah, to a point, sure.

Joe List: Okay.

Captain Brien: Kinda censor it.

Joe List: I don’t wanna get too crazy but she took her bosoms out.

Captain Brien: Yes, she took out her boobies.

Joe List: Yeah, and she was pressing them on my face and kinda doin’ one of these things, and then the other girl, I was like “Where are you at? What goin’ on here?” And she was kinda touchin’ my genital area over the pants, and I was like “This is amazing, what a wild, “I’m havin’ a threesome in Key West, “I mean in Miami, I just got here an hour ago.”, and then all of a sudden, she was like, “You know what? We’re gonna get outta here.”

Joe List: And I was like, “What? I’m not even naked yet. “What’re you talkin’ about?” And they were like, “We gotta go. “It was great to meet ya’.” And then they just took off, and I was so drunk that I was like, “Boy, that was weird.” I was like, “Maybe I said somethin’.” And then I looked over. I could see the zipper of my bag was open, and I had all cash. I didn’t have an ATM card at the time.

Captain Brien: How did they know to go right to the bag? Were you like, “Yo, I got bags!”

Joe List: No, I think she was just rifling through the bag.

Captain Brien: While the other one was smothering you with the breasts.

Joe List: Yeah, exactly.

Captain Brien: So you were breast smothered. That was like, her Bird Box. She Bird Boxed you.

Joe List: Yes, exactly. Classic move, a breast smother.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Joe List: ‘Cause you can get away with anything if you can smother someone’s face

Captain Brien: Absolutely.

Joe List: with a breast.

Captain Brien: No doubt.

Joe List: So, she did that, and then the other one I think had like, one hand, she was kinda touchin’ me so I knew she was there, and then with the other hand was goin’ through my bag, and again, I’m like, extremely inebriated.

Captain Brien: How did they know to go through the bag and not your pockets? They’re good.

Joe List: They might have gone through the pockets also. I dunno.

Captain Brien: It was probably an hour. It was an hour of breast smuggling.

Joe List: They probably were like, “This guy “doesn’t have an ATM card. This guy’s a loser.” I don’t know, but they went through and I just had cash, and my mother, before I left was like, “You shouldn’t carry cash like that.”

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Joe List: But I just didn’t have a bank card. I just had cash, so I lost 1,000, and then my friend showed up. Oh, that’s what I forgot to say. So in the middle of it, my buddy Tom showed up, and I was like “Dude, look at this! “This is crazy!” ‘Cause I didn’t realized I’d been robbed yet, and he was like, “I just got robbed.” He’s like, “I lost $500.”

Captain Brien: Get out! They had already hit him up?

Joe List: Yeah, yeah.

Captain Brien: So they literally told you, “Oh, my other friend is taking care of your buddy.”

Joe List: Yes, so it turned out he was receiving a style of sex, you know, and they were goin’ through his pockets while doing that, so he at least received like, some more sexual– It was a little more advanced, sexually than I got. I just got a boobie smother.

Captain Brien: Yeah, and you were excited about that.

Joe List: I was thrilled with that. I mean at the time, I wasn’t exactly crushing it, nor am I now, by the way.

Captain Brien: When you’re married.

Joe List: I mean I have a beautiful wife. So anyways, that was that, and then, so it was day one of like a seven day vacation, and we lost 100% of our money. I had to call my mother. My aunt wired us some money.

Captain Brien: Oh my god.

Joe List: And I had to pay her back.

Captain Brien: That’s like the thing where you get the call and it’s fake, right? “Hey, I’m on vacation, I lost all my money. “Can you wire me money?”

Joe List: Yeah, it seemed like a joke, and like the day before, she was like, “This is a bad idea.”, and I was like, “Yep, we got robbed.” I mean, day one, but the nice thing was, we went down to Key West, and we started telling everyone the story. It’s a great atmosphere down there, and people would buy us drinks and stuff. People were like, “Oh, that’s terrible. “Let me get you a beer.”

Joe List: And we kinda milked it, quite a bit. We got a lot of free booze, and we would just tell the story together, and people loved it. We were a big hit down there.

Captain Brien: I bet.

Joe List: But yeah, it was great, but for years I’m finally doing well enough that I don’t add that $1,000 to my account when I look at my money.

Captain Brien: Right.

Joe List: For years, every time I looked at my statement I’d be like, “There should be $1,000 more!”

Captain Brien: “Ah, wish I had that grand.” Yeah.

Joe List: But I also gave this great big broody speech, where I was like, “You know what, who gives a shit? “If they need to take our money, “let ’em take our money.”

Captain Brien: Right.

Joe List: “We’re not gonna let this die.” It was like this big like,

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Joe List: rah, rah speech.

Captain Brien: Yeah, you felt, you were feelin’ it right from the heart, and the wallet.

Joe List: Yeah, exactly, we had to keep it goin’. We ended up havin’ like, the time of our lives. I got great photos of all of it.

Captain Brien: So, my buddy owns Irish Kevin’s. Did you get to go to Irish Kevin’s?

Joe List: Yeah, I’ve been to Irish Kevin’.

Captain Brien: Yeah, that’s Irish Kevin, that’s my buddy.

Joe List: No kidding.

Captain Brien: So he’s a good time. That’s how, he’s the one that contacted me and said, “My friend’s opening up a bar and gonna do comedy there. “I want you to book it.”, and then I was like, “I can’t”.

Joe List: Oh wow, okay.

Captain Brien: So that’s how I was like, contacted. Wow, that guy just threw the thing right there.

Joe List: Yeah, I think he just dumped a bottle of urine out the window, which is fine, you know.

Captain Brien: So tell me, you grew up in Boston.

Joe List: Yeah, well Massachusetts, South Shore. I grew up in Whitman, Massachusetts.

Captain Brien: Okay, and I grew up in Wakefield.

Joe List: Yeah, which is, I feel like similar towns but flipped.

Captain Brien: Right. The opposites.

Joe List: One’s North, one’s South, which by the way, we call it Massachusetts, I never thought this was weird. We always say South Shore, the South Shore plaza, but it’s not the shore. I grew up like 35 minutes from the beach. Like the South Shore plaza–

Captain Brien: Yeah, we say North Shore.

Joe List: Yeah, as in Braintree, but it’s like, we’re not on the water.

Captain Brien: Right, we’re not on the shore, like shipwrecked.

Joe List: Yeah, people would come visit or whatever and see where I grew up, and they’re like, “So where’s the beach?” and I’m like, “The beach?”

Joe List: And I’m like, “The beach is like, 40 minutes away.”

Captain Brien: So do you have the roast beef sandwiches, like Bill & Bob’s, is that a thing on the South Shore? I know it’s huge on the North Shore.

Joe List: No, well there’s Mike’s Roast Beef was a big place. I moved to Everett for a couple of years for comedy.

Captain Brien: So in Everett, so you had like–

Joe List: There was Kelley’s was not far, and then Mike’s Roast Beef, which is still there. I still go up there.

Captain Brien: It’s delicious, right?

Joe List: Yeah.

Captain Brien: There’s nothing like that around here.

Joe List: No, it was amazing. I mean someone should come down here and do a roast beef place.

Captain Brien: I did.

Joe List: You made a roast beef place?

Captain Brien: Yeah, I did, in 2005. Captain Brian’s Seafood and Roast Beef, and I did the exact thing.

Joe List: And it didn’t–

Captain Brien: It did really well.

Joe List: Oh, okay.

Captain Brien: It turned into Captain Brian’s, then it turned into Off The Hook Comedy Club.

Joe List: Oh wow, okay.

Captain Brien: But that’s how I started, and Bill and Bob, the owner came down, he says, “I heard you’re the Bill and Bob’s “from down south. “I’m gonna see your roast beef.” and he cooked roast beef in my kitchen.

Joe List: No shit.

Captain Brien: And he taught me, like, the secrets.

Joe List: Wow.

Captain Brien: The real friggin’ thing.

Joe List: Oh, I thought I had that million dollar idea by the way, but you already done it.

Captain Brien: Yeah, I did it. I did it, I did a lot. Some worked, some didn’t.

Joe List: That’s the way it goes.

Captain Brien: That’s how you roll.

Joe List: It’s like jokes.

Captain Brien: You gotta test out the waters.

Joe List: Yeah, exactly.

Captain Brien: Randy wants me to say, “I wanna hear a chicken finger.” I like to say chicken fingers. Do you say chicken finger, or chicken finger?

Joe List: Well, I’m hangin’ out with you, so I’ll start soundin’ like that again. Like when I go home to hang out with my family, I’ll start sounding a little more like a Kennedy. To me, when I was drinking, or if I’d get really angry my accent will come out a little bit.

Captain Brien: My parents have lived down here for 22 years and so have I, but my accent’s mostly gone I think.

Joe List: Right.

Captain Brien: Or is it bad?

Joe List: I don’t think it’s bad at all.

Joe List: I noticed it a little bit.

Captain Brien: My parents sound like they literally have never left.

Joe List: Right, right.

Captain Brien: I’m like, how do you still talk like that?

Joe List: Yeah.

Captain Brien: Nobody else is doing that.

Joe List: It’s interesting, because it’s just so ingrained. It’s just like how you speak I guess, but it’s weird because when I was a kid, I got made fun of ’cause I would say bathroom, and like everyone made fun of me. They were like, “What are you, an English piece of shit.”, whatever, and then I was like, “Oh, alright.”, so I stopped saying bathroom consciously, and then like, Good Will Hunting came out, and it became like, the coolest thing to sound like that,

Captain Brien: Yeah, Boston.

Joe List: so all of a sudden, like I had this accent and people would make fun of me, and I was like, “Oh god, I guess I’m a nerd. “I sound like I’m British.” So I’d change the way I talk, and then Good Will Hunting came out and all of a sudden like everyone in my class was like, “Joe, you’re wicked crazy.”, and I was like, “You didn’t sounds like that two days ago.”

Captain Brien: Like, wicked, I didn’t realize wicked wasn’t a thing.

Joe List: I didn’t either. It’s amazing how many things you realize, like Patriot’s Day is not a holiday anymore.

Captain Brien: Correct. What is Patriot’s Day?

Joe List: Yeah, I thought, that was mind blowing to me, ’cause I still to go up there every year for Patriot’s Day.

Captain Brien: And Columbus day is like, I think that people don’t get it unless you’re up there. What do you think?

Joe List: Columbus Day?

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Joe List: That’s a national holiday, isn’t it?

Captain Brien: Yeah, it seems like it, right? And they wanna tell you about Plymouth Rock.

Joe List: Right, Plymouth Rock they love, and that’s so fascinating, but Columbus didn’t land on Plymouth Rock.

Captain Brien: No, who did?

Joe List: The Pilgrims.

Captain Brien: The Pilgrims. So that’s why we get Patriot’s Day, or no?

Joe List: No, Patriot’s Day is about I think Battle of Bunker Hill?

Captain Brien: Oh! That’s what it–

Joe List: No wait, that’s Bunker Hill Day. Patriot’s Day is, I dunno.

Captain Brien: The Bunker Hill Monument.

Joe List: Some sort of revolution. But that’s not actually on Bunker Hill. That’s actually Breed’s Hill, and Bunker Hill is in like, Somerville.

Captain Brien: This is true. This is true.

Joe List: That’s some fun trivia.

Captain Brien: That is a good little knack that you’ve acquired along the way.

Joe List: Yeah, a little Boston trivia. By the way, are we going somewhere? I feel like you’re just flipping around. I dunno

Captain Brien: I can’t turn in this.

Joe List: what the hell’s going on.

Captain Brien: You can’t turn in there.

Captain Brien: I just drive and drive until the conversation gets dead, and once the conversation dies, I pull in.

Joe List: Every once and a while I look over, I’m like, “Where the hell are we?”

Captain Brien: There’s no turn in. There’s no access to get in here, so you gotta go down, turn, right, left, and pull in.

Joe List: Gotcha. Well Patriot’s Day is a holiday in Boston. I still go every year, ’cause the Red Sox play at 11:05am, and the marathon’s going on. I go every year.

Captain Brien: Which is the best. That’s a huge day in Boston.

Joe List: It’s the best.

Captain Brien: Right?

Joe List: You go to the game, then you spill out. Time to watch all the, you know, the not elite runners.

Captain Brien: I go to Pizzeria Regina, I get some pizza on the way in.

Joe List: Yeah, you can do that.

Captain Brien: I love it.

Joe List: We live it up, I mean, I love it, I go every, this past year the game got rained out, which was frustrating. I was there for the bombing, which was, that’s not a fun thing to bring up on a comedy show.

Captain Brien: No. But it’s very interesting. And then did you see the movie?

Joe List: I did not see the movie.

Captain Brien: You didn’t?

Joe List: No. I saw the real life thing.

Captain Brien: I know.

Joe List: No, I did not see the movie. I should see the movie.

Captain Brien: The movie’s great.

Joe List: I’m sure it was enjoyable.

Captain Brien: It’s really interesting.

Joe List: Yeah. That was a fascinating time.

Captain Brien: Unbelievable. Well anyway, guys, this is the Captain’s Log. Joe List. Go see him at Off The Hook Comedy Club tonight through Sunday, tellin’ the ha-ha’s, all the jokes, you’re gonna love him. You’ve seen him on Netflix, now you’ve seen him on a Captain’s Log. Joe, thanks buddy

Joe List: Thanks for havin’ me.

Captain Brien: Let’s go, we’re goin’ on

Joe List: I appreciate it.

Captain Brien: a radio station now. 103.9, then 96k-Rock. We just finished 105.5 The Beat. We’re out, and the Captain’s Log will be live tomorrow. Two episodes, so I know you’re just so excited. Seeya.

Episode 101: The Captain’s Log with Emma Willmann and Captain Brien Blindfolded!

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On this episode of the #captainslog Captain Brien and the super funny Emma Willmann! See how well Captain Brien can do driving with a blindfold!

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!

Episode 100: The Captain’s Log with special guest Deborah from the Freedom Waters Foundation!

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On the episode of the #captainslog captain Brien always here bringing the community together !

Watch full video here ————>

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!

 

Episode 97: The Captain’s Log recreating a Michelin Chef 5 Star Cocolate Chip Cookie Recipe!

Comedy, Cooking with the Captain, health and fitness, Live, Talkshow, Uncategorized, Vlog, Vlogging, , , , , , , ,

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On this episode of the #captainslog Brien and Will Spina try to recreate the chocolate chip cookie. This recipe was rated 5 star by a Michelin Chef! Let see if Brien and Will can live up to the expectation! comment below your favorite cookie!

Watch full video here ————>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qs4Kx9JrFqQ&t=6s

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!

Episode 96: The Captain’s Log here to tell you how you can help the Boy & Girls Club!

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On this episode of the #Captainslog learn how you can support the Boys and Girls Club and why it’s important that you do!

Watch full video here ———> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vW8M2Le4a4k 

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info.

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!

Episode 95: The Captain’s Log with Captain Brien and Comedian Sam Morrill!

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On this episode of the #captainslog watch Captain Brien and Sam Morril discuss the good the bad and the ugly when it comes to doing live comedy!

Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info

Watch full video here —–> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=12VLeTWaDuY

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!

Episode 194: The Captain’s Log with Host Captain Brien Spina and Guest Comedian Erik Myers

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Today’s guest is comedian Erik Myers! He just can’t get enough of the Captain’s Log! Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captainslog for the latest info

Watch full video at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Dkb2aQ7buw&t=1s

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!

Episode 193: The Captain’s Log with Host Capt Brien Spina and Guest Comedian Kellen Erskine

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Today’s guest is the hilarious Kellen Erskine! Funny jokes and notes from a day and the life Off the hook Comedy Club. Off the hook comedy club post on twitter daily follow us #captianslog for the latest info

Watch full video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGWu9L7z1tg&t=1s

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!

Episode 192: The Captain’s Log watch and learn how to support Manatee Elementary School

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On this episode of the #naplescaptainslog watch and learn how to support Manatee Elementary School! Do you know what the leader in me school improvement model is? My guest today Ms. Micieli teaches at Manatee Elementary School they are in need of your investment in our future leaders. To invest in their #LeaderinMe initiative contact Dr. Mearsheimer at Manatee Elementary School, Collier County Public Schools #kidsdeserveit

Watch Full Video at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M2HRN7gPa0M&t=109s

The captain’s log is officially sponsored by Captain Brien Spirits maker of Captain Brien Sugar Free Vodka and Barrel Aged Dark Rum both are gluten free also!