Tag Archives: actor

Epsiode 257 That One Time I Slept on Vince Vaughn’s Couch

Comedy, Live, Talkshow, Vlog, Vlogging, , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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Comedian Ahmed Ahmed joins the #naplescaptainslog and discusses living in Malaysia and the culture, how he knew he wanted to be a comedian, and tells us the time he slept on Vince Vaughn’s couch!

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PODCAST RECAP

Miss something on one of our episodes of the #naplescaptainslog? Don’t worry we got you covered! Here you will find a full transcript from this episode of the #naplescaptainslog!

Captain Brien: We’re gonna be live in a second. And we’re live! This is the Captain’s Log with Ahmed Ahmed.

Ahmed Ahmed: Hey.

Captain Brien: Thanks buddy, appreciate you coming on the show!

Ahmed Ahmed: Hey, thanks for having me.

Captain Brien: All the way from Malaysia.

Ahmed Ahmed: Yes.

Captain Brien: That must be amazing, so, you could scroll it down and do that little side now.

Ahmed Ahmed: Can I do that?

Captain Brien: Share, yeah yeah, when you’re done with your happy dance.

Ahmed Ahmed: Happy to see you, pal.

Captain Brien: Oh, so it’s a good time, it really is, I appreciate you reaching out to me all the way from–

Ahmed Ahmed: Here we are.

Captain Brien: Malaysia!

Ahmed Ahmed: So share, right?

Captain Brien: When, yeah, you hit the share button and then you could show your people that you’re actually in the US, right?

Ahmed Ahmed: Yes.

Captain Brien: ‘Cause you’ve been in Malaysia for three years?

Ahmed Ahmed: A year.

Captain Brien: A year.

Ahmed Ahmed: I moved to Malaysia January last year.

Captain Brien: January last year.

Ahmed Ahmed: Just over a year.

Captain Brien: It feels like three years.

Ahmed Ahmed: It does kind of, I kind of feel like I got stuck in time when I moved to Asia.

Captain Brien: Is it, is that because things move differently out there, or?

Ahmed Ahmed: Well, it’s a little bit of a slower culture.

Captain Brien: It is.

Ahmed Ahmed: You know things just don’t move as quickly.

Captain Brien: What about the technology?

Ahmed Ahmed: Technology is just the same, it’s the same. I just think because it’s, you have to remember, it’s also very hot and humid country.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Ahmed Ahmed: So people, like, tend to not wanna work as hard, just ’cause it’s so hot, like you think Florida is hot and humid–

Captain Brien:What’s the average?

Ahmed Ahmed: You ain’t seen nothing.

Ahmed Ahmed: Man, on any given day, like–

Captain Brien: You might have to talk a little louder we’re not mic’d.

Ahmed Ahmed: Oh, hi, can you hear me everybody? .

Captain Brien: Yes .

Ahmed Ahmed: On any given day in Malaysia, it can get up to a hundred degrees, and then a–

Captain Brien: But it’s humid, right?

Ahmed Ahmed: A hundred percent humidity.

Captain Brien: Oh.

Ahmed Ahmed: So you just walk outside, poof, you’re just sweating.

Captain Brien: Yeah, instantly.

Ahmed Ahmed: Instantly, and, which sucks, ’cause then you have to go to a place where you have to look presentable and you’re like dripping sweat.

Captain Brien: Right, right.

Ahmed Ahmed: The good news is that they have air conditioning everywhere you go.

Captain Brien: Serious? So it’s not like you’re in like little rickshaws running around?

Ahmed Ahmed: No, it’s not, it’s not Thailand .

Captain Brien: Yeah .

Ahmed Ahmed: It’s not, it’s not Bangkok.

Captain Brien: It’s not, it’s not.

Ahmed Ahmed: No.

Captain Brien: But it’s like all, everything is the same as we have here or what?

Ahmed Ahmed: Yeah, I mean, Malaysia for many years was considered a third world country.

Captain Brien: Okay.

Ahmed Ahmed: Now it’s being called a developing country.

Captain Brien:- Hmm-mm.

Ahmed Ahmed: And in 2020, I’m just gonna tag you on that.

Captain Brien: Okay.

Ahmed Ahmed: In 2020 it’s gonna be, it’s gonna be announced a, A developed country.

Captain Brien: This is good for the show.

Ahmed Ahmed: Sorry .

Captain Brien: This is good for the show. I like that, I like the actual pause.

Ahmed Ahmed: Did you show that already?

Captain Brien: I did, I did.

Ahmed Ahmed: Oh, I was gonna share it to both my pages.

Captain Brien: You could do it the other one now.

Ahmed Ahmed: Can I do it now?

Captain Brien: Yeah, you can do it the same time anyway.

Ahmed Ahmed: Oh, okay.

Captain Brien: So you had to do one in a time.

Ahmed Ahmed: Oh, okay.

Captain Brien: And, very interesting, I would, I kinda wanna go out there because I did do Hong Kong and China and stuff, but I didn’t spend enough time that I got to live the culture and everything else.

Ahmed Ahmed: I think, I think you would like Asia

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Ahmed Ahmed: Well Malaysia specifically, but as I was mentioning earlier you know, you have 45 minutes away Singapore, Thailand, you know, an hour and 20 minutes, Philippines, Cambodia, Hong Kong, Japan is a six hour flight, it’s like all kinda right there.

Captain Brien: With a lot of U.S influence?

Ahmed Ahmed: A lot, like, you can honestly feel like you are in Times Square, New York City when you’re in the Downtown part of Kuala Lumpur.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Ahmed Ahmed: And it’s, you know , skyscrapers, nice fine dining restaurants, speakeasy bars, you know lounges,

Captain Brien: Strip clubs?

Ahmed Ahmed: Fast foods. There aren’t any strip clubs.

Captain Brien: Really?

Ahmed Ahmed: But they do have these kind of, I don’t know what you call them,

Captain Brien: Do they have karaoke bars?

Ahmed Ahmed: They do have karaoke.

Captain Brien: Ah.

Ahmed Ahmed: I actually felt like–

Captain Brien: Where there’s very little karaoke going on in those bars?

Ahmed Ahmed: No they have, they actually do have like, you know, the proper karaoke rooms where you get a room–

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Ahmed Ahmed: And just you and your friends and like the little, sort of box–

Captain Brien: And do they have the little Geisha Girls come out?

Ahmed Ahmed: Well some of the nightclubs do,

Captain Brien: Yes.

Ahmed Ahmed: But they, and they don’t have any strip clubs, but they have this, and I’ve never been to it, but there’s a couple of these places where you like, you go in and you like, have to buy a woman a rose and then she’ll come and sit on your lap and have a drink and it’s like that kind of thing. I haven’t done that.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Ahmed Ahmed: But I’ve driven past this establishment a couple times. But, you know, there’s also, and again this exists all over the world, but you know, there is quite a bit of prostitution.

Captain Brien: Okay.

Ahmed Ahmed: You know–

Captain Brien: But it’s not legal.

Ahmed Ahmed: No, I mean, Asia, it’s kind of all over Asia, but–

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Ahmed Ahmed: You know, they have like their massage parlors and they’re like, whatever.

Captain Brien: Right.

Ahmed Ahmed: Dodgy, happy-ending spots and that kinda thing.

Captain Brien: Sure, sure.

Ahmed Ahmed: But, but no, no strip clubs, but great night life scene, the company I worked for, LOL Events, we, there’s like, there’s this leading comedy, events company in Malaysia. And so they’ve hosted everybody, Kevin Hart, Margaret Cho, Russell Peters, Jeff Dunham, Fluffy.

Captain Brien: And the people know these acts from the internet obviously.

Ahmed Ahmed: Yeah, so–

Captain Brien: Is the TV very similar to our TV? Or is it completely different?

Ahmed Ahmed: So they have a local station that’s called Astro, their local station does like Malaysia, local Malaysian content. So, their language there is Bahasa, so they’ll speak, they’ll, have a lot of programming and adsense of Bahasa.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Ahmed Ahmed: But they’re trying to cross over to more American content. That’s kind of why I moved there, was to–

Captain Brien: Okay.

Ahmed Ahmed: Help develop the content creation inside of the company, film, television, that kinda thing.

Captain Brien: Do they like us in the U.S?

Ahmed Ahmed: Yeah. Yeah, I mean, you know, there’s a lot of U.S influence in Malaysia, you know–

Captain Brien: So you’re cooler, are you cooler if you’re from the U.S over there?

Captain Brien: Do they like that?

Ahmed Ahmed: I don’t think people really give that much of a shit about it.

Captain Brien: Okay.

Ahmed Ahmed: But they do like American brands.

Captain Brien: They do.

Ahmed Ahmed: So anything, anything that’s like, that was started in the west, that caught on.

Captain Brien: Right.

Ahmed Ahmed: Will take off in Malaysia.

Captain Brien: Thank God.

Ahmed Ahmed: And everything from like clothes to food, pop culture, music.

Captain Brien: They just gravitate towards it, they love that.

Ahmed Ahmed: Yeah like Guns N Roses was just there last year.

Captain Brien: Okay.

Ahmed Ahmed: Like for the third time.

Captain Brien: Right.

Ahmed Ahmed: And like who would’ve ever thought Guns N Roses–

Captain Brien: Right, a little extra.

Ahmed Ahmed: And they’re performing, it was raining too, like they were out doors and people are just like, yeah! You know, PAradise City!.

Captain Brien: That’s fun, that’s a good time, though.

Ahmed Ahmed: But you, I think you’d love it man, it’s, I do miss my family and friends and the U.S, but I’m just gigging Asia right now.

Captain Brien: Cool.

Ahmed Ahmed: I wrote this new hour of material, I’m gonna try it all this weekend.

Captain Brien: Speaking of new material, you are performing this weekend at Off the Hook Comedy Club.

Ahmed Ahmed: Yes.

Captain Brien: Get tickets at offthehookcomedy.com

Ahmed Ahmed: Yes.

Captain Brien: They can find you on Instagram @ahmedahmed?

Ahmed Ahmed: Yeah, it’s @ahmedcomedy A-H-M-E-D comedy, that’s also my Twitter handle.

Captain Brien: Tell me about the first time you hopped on stage, what was that like, how did you know you wanted to be a comedian?

Ahmed Ahmed: Well, I actually started out as an actor.

Captain Brien: Okay.

Ahmed Ahmed: I was always funny as a kid, cracking jokes, do like school plays and I was considered like, the class clown in school and, I was never the guy who would put like a tack on the teacher’s desk or–

Captain Brien: Okay, yeah.

Ahmed Ahmed: Chair, I wasn’t that guy.

Captain Brien: You weren’t the prankster.

Ahmed Ahmed: I wasn’t the prankster, but–

Captain Brien:  You were just a funny dude.

Ahmed Ahmed: I was just a funny guy, I’d be in the corner like, cracking jokes and get people to laugh and I was always in the detention room and that. But I never took it seriously–

Captain Brien: Same here.

Ahmed Ahmed: You were the same guy?

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Ahmed Ahmed: I never took it seriously though, and then, like the comedy side of it. And then I grew up watching a lot of like, dramatic film, so I was like, you know, Robert De Niro, Clint Eastwood, Denzel Washington, all these dramatic actors–

Captain Brien: And those were your heroes?

Ahmed Ahmed: They fascinated me, ’cause I was like, you know, they were just a great screen presence and I was literally living in movie theaters. You know, remember the days where you’d go buy a ticket for one movie, then you sneak in to like 10 other movies.

Captain Brien: Yeah yeah.

Ahmed Ahmed: I’d spend 10 hours at the movie theater on the weekends.

Captain Brien: Really? I did that like once in my life.

Ahmed Ahmed: I did it almost every weekend, just–

Captain Brien: Wow!

Ahmed Ahmed: I did it to escape from my house, ’cause I didn’t like being home .

Captain Brien: Okay, okay.

Ahmed Ahmed: I had like strict parents–

Captain Brien: I probably didn’t do it ’cause I never had that much time, I was running from one athletic event to the next, to the next, to the next.

Ahmed Ahmed: Yeah, I wasn’t that active when I was a kid, but I was active, but I wasn’t into sports and stuff.

Captain Brien: How do I say Hireem? Hireem, he’s a comedian, right?

Ahmed Ahmed: Hiram, Hiram.

Captain Brien: He’s a comedian, yeah.

Ahmed Ahmed: Hiram.

Captain Brien: Jennifer Allen, what’s up guys.

Ahmed Ahmed: Allen, what’s up everybody.

Captain Brien: Welcome to the Captain’s Log.

Ahmed Ahmed: Jennifer, how you doing?

Captain Brien: Say hi to Ahmed Ahmed.

Ahmed Ahmed: If you guys are in Annapolis, come to the shows this weekend.

Captain Brien: Yeah, we got a great show coming your way. Two tonight, two tomorrow, and one Sunday, Mother’s Day.

Ahmed Ahmed: Oh yeah, Mother’s Day celebration–

Captain Brien: It’s a good show.

Ahmed Ahmed: Come laugh with us on Mother’s Day.

Captain Brien: Yeah, yeah. You gotta bring your mom out, hang out with us. So, you was telling me, so far haven’t answered my question.

Ahmed Ahmed: Oh, yeah, so, so, I–

Captain Brien: Who’s more AD, me or you?

Ahmed Ahmed: I think together, we have–

Captain Brien: Yeah, okay, okay, that’s good.

Ahmed Ahmed: ADHD .

Captain Brien: Yes, I agree.

Ahmed Ahmed: So I just kind of, I moved to Hollywood when I was 19.

Captain Brien: Yup.

Ahmed Ahmed: I started working as an actor, I played a lot of terrorists in a lot of movies.

Captain Brien: Shocking.

Ahmed Ahmed: Shocking!

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Ahmed Ahmed: So, I was in Executive Decision, where I played terrorist number four, I was in, I was in the first Iron Man movie.

Captain Brien: Yeah, you were.

Ahmed Ahmed: So I helped kick-start the Marvel Universe, you’re welcome. But then they killed me.

Captain Brien: Right.

Ahmed Ahmed: Well that was fun, and then I just, I, the problem with Hollywood is, Hollywood, is that you, you don’t get a lot of opportunities to, to play other parts other than what your stereotype is.

Captain Brien: Right, once they cast you kinda that way.

Ahmed Ahmed: That’s it. Unless you are lucky enough to do a part in a movie–

Captain Brien: Unless you’re like Matt Damon or,

Ahmed Ahmed: Yeah like you write your own ticket, you know Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, they wrote Good Will Hunting, they won an Oscar, then they could do whatever they want.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Ahmed Ahmed: You know, you gotta, you kinda gotta get kissed into the party, you know, Hollywood. And I just never really did, they wanted me to change my name I didn’t wanna do it. Anyway, fast forward I quit acting, I ran out of money, I actually slept–

Captain Brien: Very typical.

Ahmed Ahmed: Very typical, I slept–

Captain Brien: Hollywood dream.

Ahmed Ahmed: Hollywood dream, I slept on my old buddy, Vince Vaughn’s couch, for about a year.

Captain Brien: He’s kinda famous.

Ahmed Ahmed: He’s a little famous.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Ahmed Ahmed: You probably heard of him.

Captain Brien: How did you get hooked up with Vince Vaughn, to sleep on his couch?

Ahmed Ahmed: So we met,

Captain Brien: You can’t jump into that.

Ahmed Ahmed: No, well I met him before he was famous.

Captain Brien: Okay.

Ahmed Ahmed: We did it after, well not we, I was an extra in an afterschool special that he was the co-star in,

Captain Brien: Okay.

Ahmed Ahmed: And we met on that thing. And you know, do you know the Peter Billingsley?

Captain Brien: I know the name, yes.

Ahmed Ahmed: He used to be an actor.

Captain Brien: Yes.

Ahmed Ahmed: Now he’s a producer, director–

Captain Brien: Okay, right.

Ahmed Ahmed: He was Ralphie in Christmas story.

Captain Brien: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ahmed Ahmed: So he produces, now he produces all of Vince Vaughn’s movies and runs a production company, but he was the star of this afterschool special at the time. Vince played the best friend. It was a story about this young kid nerd, who wanted to impress this girl, but she only dated jocks,

Captain Brien: Right.

Ahmed Ahmed: So he joined the track team, but he wasn’t fast enough, so he took steroids.

Captain Brien: Okay.

Ahmed Ahmed: And then Vince Vaughn was the friend who’s like, don’t do drugs, I’m gonna tell the coach.

Captain Brien: And this was an afterschool special.

Ahmed Ahmed: An afterschool special that I was an extra–

Captain Brien: Do they still do afterschool specials?

Ahmed Ahmed: CBS school break special, I think they call them now.

Captain Brien: Really.

Ahmed Ahmed: I don’t know, I remember back in the days–

Captain Brien: Afterschool special for that age, is probably a thirty second clip.

Ahmed Ahmed: Yeah. .

Captain Brien: And they watch six of them and they’re done.

Ahmed Ahmed: Right. Almost like a weather .

Captain Brien: Right, right.

Ahmed Ahmed: So then we met, I was an extra, I played one of the guys on the track team who, when I found out Peter’s character took steroids, I kinda like, roll my eyes.

Captain Brien: Is this leading up to how the hell you became a comic?

Ahmed Ahmed: So this is how I met, so yeah, so when I started out as an actor, ’cause you asked me how I met Vince.

Captain Brien: Yes.

Ahmed Ahmed: That’s how I met him. So we met, we became friends, I started taking acting classes, and then the first part of the story, me doing all the terrorist parts and all of that. Then I got sick of it, I ran out of money. Vince offered me his couch.

Captain Brien: Yep.

Ahmed Ahmed: At this point he and I–

Captain Brien: That was cool of him.

Ahmed Ahmed: Yeah, he had just done the movie, Swingers.

Captain Brien: Yeah!

Ahmed Ahmed: And then he launched him to stardom right after that and he was traveling around the world filming movies. So he’s like, hey, just stay at my place while I’m gone, and he’s always super nice and supportive and, such a smart, funny, awesome businessman and just cool friend. And then I was starting waiting tables at Kevin Costner’s restaurant, actually.

Captain Brien: Okay.

Ahmed Ahmed: He used to own a restaurant called Twin Palms in Pasadena.

Captain Brien: That must be like, that must have been like the cool place if you were aspiring actor, to work at his place.

Ahmed Ahmed: This was when Kevin Costner was like at the top of his game.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Ahmed Ahmed: And so he opened this like beautiful 500 seat, indoor, outdoor country–

Captain Brien: ‘Cause he had needed a tax break.

Ahmed Ahmed: He needed a task break.

Captain Brien: He needed to lose more money.

Ahmed Ahmed: He needed to lose more money, so opened his restaurant with his wife. Him and Cindy Costner owned it, and I was the head waiter there–

Captain Brien: Okay.

Ahmed Ahmed: And I was making a lot of money as a waiter ’cause I was making my customers laugh.

Captain Brien: Of course.

Ahmed Ahmed: And I thought, why don’t I just get rid of the food and just do the funny? And so that’s kinda how it all started, I got, you know, I made a lot of money as a waiter and I was just like, you know what, let me just try stand up and I did one night, I went up on stage in front of 40 comics, did a open mic, and then I killed,

Captain Brien: Which is not typical.

Ahmed Ahmed: Which is not typical and then I bombed for like–

Captain Brien: That’s normal, right.

Ahmed Ahmed: ‘Cause I thought I was so good.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Ahmed Ahmed: I didn’t realize, oh this is a craft, you have to take it seriously, and right jokes and know your timing and–

Captain Brien: Yeah, the stars can’t align every night you get on stage, you actually have that material.

Ahmed Ahmed: Bro, I bombed just the other night, at a open mic night. Kind of on accident too, I was at the Comedy Inn in Miami, killing every night, awesome shows and then I go to this open mic on a Monday just to like, just to see what was up in downtown Miami, and I aided so bad. But it felt good, it was–

Captain Brien: Yeah, it should.

Ahmed Ahmed: It was like a humbling experience,

Captain Brien: Right, right.

Ahmed Ahmed: And it grounded me. ‘Cause comics–

Captain Brien: You work on new material, sometimes that’s why you work on it.

Ahmed Ahmed: You gotta fail to succeed.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Ahmed Ahmed: So I just, I started doing standup, I got pretty good at it, I started running comedy rooms, because I couldn’t get booked at the major comedy clubs.

Captain Brien: Right.

Ahmed Ahmed: So I just started, I started this room called Dublin’s, with a guy named Jay Davids,

Captain Brien: Yeah, I know Jay well.

Ahmed Ahmed: So now he books, he’s the vice, VP of talent at the Laugh Factory now.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Ahmed Ahmed: So him and I started a room in Hollywood, at a place called Dublin’s, Bubblin in Dublin Jay Z?

Captain Brien: Yep, yep.

Ahmed Ahmed: Every Tuesday night, rain or shine. Dane Cook, Dave Chappelle, Joe Rogan, Carlos Mencia–

Captain Brien: Sick shows.

Ahmed Ahmed: Like, because we were writing between the Laugh Factory and the Comedy Store, so we were the hub, for like cool, and we had like, celebrities would come every week, hot chicks, librarians, doctors.

Captain Brien: How long has Jay had that title at the Laugh Factory these days?

Ahmed Ahmed: About, just over a year.

Captain Brien: Okay, okay.

Ahmed Ahmed: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And, so he’s, he’s booking all the talent at the Laugh Factory.

Captain Brien: That’s great.

Ahmed Ahmed: So he started that room, one night, who you know very well, Pauly Shore came in.

Captain Brien: Yep.

Ahmed Ahmed: Pauly Shore came in with like five hot playboy play bates. And he was like, ‘hey buddy, what’s up buddy?’

Captain Brien: Hasn’t changed.

Ahmed Ahmed: What’s up buddy?

Captain Brien: Hasn’t changed a bit.

Ahmed Ahmed: He’s like, ‘hey why don’t you guys come in?’ Well, we said, ‘hey do you wanna go on stage?’ And he said, ‘sure’, he went up on stage, he killed it. He came out, what’s up Douggy, what’s up Allen.

Captain Brien: Hey Doug, Allen, what’s going on?

Ahmed Ahmed: So, Pauly goes on stage, he has a great set, he comes off stage, and he’s like, ‘why don’t you guys ‘come to my mom’s club and do a night there?’ The Comedy Store, Mitzi Shore. So we did, we called the show Rot Comedy.

Captain Brien: Okay.

Ahmed Ahmed: Jay hosted, I would throw myself up at the lineup every week, we took the best of the best from Dublin’s and put them on at the Comedy Store. So it was Sam Tripoli, Sebastian Maniscalco,

Captain Brien: All great comics.

Ahmed Ahmed: You know, murderers, right.

Captain Brien: Right.

Ahmed Ahmed: And then, Mitzi Shore was in the room one night, and she caught my set, and she came out to me afterwards and she said, ‘hey you’re very funny’, that’s what she talks.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Ahmed Ahmed: Hey, you’re very funny. I said thanks, she said, ‘are you, are you Arabic?’

Ahmed Ahmed: I said, ‘Arabic, oh yeah.’ She goes, ‘oh from where?’ I said, I’m from Egypt. She goes, ‘oh, you know we used to be your slaves.’ And she walked away, and I was like, ‘oof, that wasn’t good’

Captain Brien: Yeah yeah.

Ahmed Ahmed: And then I got a call the next day and they’re like, she wants to make you a paid regular.

Captain Brien: That’s it, boom!

Ahmed Ahmed: Sounds like, oh now I work for you.

Captain Brien: That was great!

Ahmed Ahmed: So, and so that’s how I got of the Comedy Store, then I eventually got at the Laugh Factory and the improv and I started kinda make my way around the comedy scene and then I ended up touring the world, I got in a sitcom with Steve Burns, Vince Vaughn producer and Peter Billingsley And then you know, I just kinda made my way around Hollywood for 20 plus years and,

Captain Brien: Been touring.

Ahmed Ahmed: Touring and–

Captain Brien: Playing all the comedy clubs in the country.

Ahmed Ahmed: Playing all the comedy clubs, you know I’m really lucky to like, to have established some great relationships with, you know, awesome people like yourself. Not everybody wants to book a comic through a comic, they wanna go through an agent and a manager And, I was shocked how many club-bookers were like, yeah have your agent book me or you know, I was just like, okay, I can talk to you.

Captain Brien: Right. Well it goes the opposite way too when you reach out to a comic and they’re like, ‘hey talk to my agent.’

Ahmed Ahmed: Talk to my agent. And then you have to jump through all those groups.

Captain Brien: Yeah, yeah.

Ahmed Ahmed: I guess it goes both ways.

Captain Brien: So it does go both ways. Well guys, my guest Ahmed Ahmed gonna be at Off The Hook comedy club this weekend. This is the Captain’s Log, thanks for watching. Hey Keith, before I say goodbye, I wanna say hello. I’ll see everybody tomorrow–

Ahmed Ahmed: What’s up guys.

Captain Brien: At the–

Ahmed Ahmed: Tee Bone, My buddy.

Captain Brien: Great City.canooeaces. Hey Tee Bone in the house, what’s up from Dubai. Honey, how are you?

Ahmed Ahmed: Hey guys.

Captain Brien: Anyway guys, we are out, I will be live tomorrow from the canoe races in Naples, Florida. I love you guys the most, we’re back.

Ahmed Ahmed: Thanks brother, cheers.

Captain Brien: See you tomorrow, we’re out.

Episode 248 White Women Love Their White Wine!

Comedy, Live, Talkshow, Vlog, Vlogging, , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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B-Rad from the Boo, aka Jamie Kennedy, is along for today’s ride with Captain Brien! On this episode of the #naplescaptainslog, Jamie Kennedy talks about how he got started, Malibu’s Most Wanted, his comedy career, and of course Hecklers!

Watch Full Video —————>  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oo_A7Cu0FFQ&t=329s

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Check Comedian and Actor Jamie Kennedy out and show him some love at:

PODCAST RECAP

Miss something on one of our episodes of the #naplescaptainslog? Don’t worry we got you covered! Here you will find a full transcript from this episode of the #naplescaptainslog!

Captain Brien: What’s up guys? We are back. My man – What’s up guys? We are back. My man Jamie Kennedy. Dude, what’s happening?

Jamie Kennedy: What’s up baby? Look–

Captain Brien: This your second appearance on The Log?

Jamie Kennedy: On the Log, dude. You got Live on Air. Your killin’ me dude.

Captain Brien: I know, right. I know.

Jamie Kennedy: I was just sleeping like this and you made me sit up.

Captain Brien: I gotta always keep you awake though. It’s a…

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah.

Captain Brien: You’re ready to go. You’re ready to go.

Jamie Kennedy: Early guys. It’s early guys.

Captain Brien: It’s not hard.

Jamie Kennedy: It’s an early guys. Hopefully this is only going on since. You know.

Captain Brien: Let’s do it. We’re taking a ride now. We just left 105.5, The Beat. We’re heading over to Big Momma and The WiLD Bunch and… Dude.

Jamie Kennedy: So we should document everything.

Captain Brien: I like to keep it real.

Jamie Kennedy: Oh, yeah.

Captain Brien: You know. We do everything live on this podcast.

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah. Okay.

Captain Brien: The last… We should put the car in drive though–

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah.

Captain Brien: instead of neutral and revving it up right there.

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah.

Captain Brien: You got in late?

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah, dude. I’m tired. Can we go to Dunkin?

Captain Brien: Dunkin’s my jam.

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah.

Captain Brien: Are you a Dunkin guy?

Jamie Kennedy: I love Dunkin.

Captain Brien: Yeah. Starbucks isn’t my thing.

Jamie Kennedy: I know, Dunkin’s got the best flavor.

Captain Brien: Oh, you’ve got some comments already.

Captain Brien: Look at these guys. Hey, what’s happening? If you guys want to ask me a question about Jamie Kennedy, I’m sure he’s gonna answer it, but in the mean time…

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah.

Captain Brien: We’re gonna leave Fort Myers and head toward Estero and then back to Naples ’cause you’re at Off the Hook Comedy Club tonight through Saturday.

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah. I mean–

Captain Brien: One show tonight.

Jamie Kennedy: Mm-hm.

Captain Brien: Two Friday, two Saturday.

Jamie Kennedy: Yep.

Captain Brien: And their gonna get the freakin’ show of their life.

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah, man. Wasn’t I like the first dude to play your club?

Captain Brien: You were one of the first major headliners to play the club and we’ve been buddies ever since, right?

Captain Brien: Right. We’ve had some times together.

Captain Brien: We have.

Jamie Kennedy: We can’t talk about ’em live.

Captain Brien: Wait. Why can’t we? We should.

Jamie Kennedy: Uh.

Captain Brien: We’re both single now.

Jamie Kennedy: Uh, I mean, you know. You never know.

Captain Brien: It was a facility that was legal.

Jamie Kennedy: Nah. I can’t–

Captain Brien: We weren’t doing illegal business.

Jamie Kennedy: We were just having some burritos. We were. That’s all we’re doing. I love Florida.

Captain Brien: Florida. Is Florida one of your favorite places to come?

Jamie Kennedy: Dude, it’s the best.

Captain Brien: Who would not want to come? Right, I mean we have all–?

Jamie Kennedy: I don’t know. I don’t know.

Captain Brien: we have great comedy clubs, not just mine, but there’s a ton. Like we have, I think the second or the third most comedy clubs in the U.S.

Jamie Kennedy: I think you do too. I play, like, ten clubs here.

Captain Brien: Right?

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah.

Captain Brien: I know. The think is like the weather is always nice. You could come here, right now, and relax in eighty degree weather or you could be in Michigan freezing your nuts off.

Jamie Kennedy: Dude, I come in last night, I go to Wing Stop, I get my wings–

Captain Brien: What’d you eat at Wing Stop?

Jamie Kennedy: I had Wing Stop. I ate in the Wing Stop.

Captain Brien: How many wings?

Jamie Kennedy: 12.

Captain Brien: No problem.

Jamie Kennedy: Lemon pepper, bone. I’m happy. The prog–

Captain Brien: Is lemon pepper your jam?

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah. It’s–

Captain Brien: Always? I never had the lemon pepper at wing stop.

Jamie Kennedy: Ah, the bomb.

Captain Brien: We should go.

Jamie Kennedy: We should right now. I got a plug from Wing Stop.

Captain Brien: Yeah. They should pay us.

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah.

Captain Brien: These son of a bitches aren’t giving us any money for this cred.

Jamie Kennedy: It’s a great wing.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Jamie Kennedy: I’m just gonna tell you–

Captain Brien: To get it well done and regular? Extra crispy or no?

Jamie Kennedy: Crispy, yeah.

Captain Brien: Crispy.

Jamie Kennedy: I do like crispy.

Captain Brien: People like ’em crispy.

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah. I do.

Captain Brien: I go crispy too.

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah.

Captain Brien: I like hot sauce and then maybe a little sweet and sour.

Jamie Kennedy: Man.

Captain Brien: But, I’m always the guy that’s like, can you give me like two lemon pepper, two teriyaki, two hot sauce? And they’re like, no dude we can’t do that. You got to buy.

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah, because you have, uh, asked a lot. That’s high maintenance.

Captain Brien: I’m high. I am high–

Jamie Kennedy: High maintenance wing.

Captain Brien: I’m a high maintenance dude.

Jamie Kennedy: You’re the–

Captain Brien: Do you put blue cheese?

Jamie Kennedy: Nah.

Captain Brien: Or do you do uh–

Jamie Kennedy: I eat them with the lemon pepper, bro.

Captain Brien: No blue cheese?

Jamie Kennedy: Nah.

Captain Brien: Ranch?

Jamie Kennedy: Uh, maybe.

Captain Brien: I don’t know why I’m talking so much about wings.

Jamie Kennedy: I don’t know why either. Dude, wait, you’ve been doing this for what two years? This Captain’s Log?

Captain Brien: Thirteen years.

Jamie Kennedy: I don’t remember thirteen years ago.

Captain Brien: You know why?

Jamie Kennedy: Why?

Captain Brien: Because I was lazy and I was married at the time and my wife, ex-wife now

Jamie Kennedy: Right.

Captain Brien: hated me to always be live.

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah.

Captain Brien: And she was holding me down, bro.

Jamie Kennedy: Ah. You don’t want to–

Captain Brien: Now, I’m just like, I’m just live 24/7.

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah. You’re living the dream.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Jamie Kennedy: Your living the–

Captain Brien: So, I started doing it really like daily now. The show is evey day, except Sundays, sometimes I don’t do it. But if I do it on Saturday, I’ll do like a recap or I’ll go to the Farmer’s Market or something.

Jamie Kennedy: You do a show every day?

Captain Brien: Yeah. Every day, man.

Jamie Kennedy: For how long?

Captain Brien: Twenty minutes.

Jamie Kennedy: Wow.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Jamie Kennedy: The Captain’s Log.

Captain Brien: The Captain’s Log is moving up.

Jamie Kennedy: Wow. Every day you–

Captain Brien: We had 200 thousand views last week.

Jamie Kennedy: Really?

Captain Brien: Yeah. For the week. Not every episode, but for the week. It’s about 150 to 250–

Jamie Kennedy: Okay.

Captain Brien: thousand views between our podcast that’s on podcast, YouTube, Facebook, Instagram.

Jamie Kennedy: All right.

Captain Brien: I mean, you can get it everywhere.

Jamie Kennedy: Man.

Captain Brien: ITunes, Stitcher.

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah.

Captain Brien: You should tell people how they can find you.

Jamie Kennedy: You can find me at thejamiekennedy on Insta, atjamiekennedy on Twitter, uh–

Captain Brien: By the way he’s crazy to follow.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Captain Brien: Do you do anything normal every day or is your day just wild?

Jamie Kennedy: I don’t know. It mixes it up.

Captain Brien: You do, right?

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah. But some days I like to do nothing, but I don’t know, in a weird way.

Captain Brien: It is a weird life traveling. A traveling comedian is not normal.

Jamie Kennedy: Uh-uh. Uh-uh.

Captain Brien: It’s… There’s a distinct person that it takes to be on the road this many days.

Jamie Kennedy: Well–

Captain Brien: I mean not everybody wants to do it. I don’t want to do it.

Jamie Kennedy: I heard this lady talking to her kid yesterday and her kid’s news it was like a long–

Captain Brien: You gotta talk a little louder.

Jamie Kennedy: I heard–

Captain Brien: I mean, this place is really mic’d up for sound.

Jamie Kennedy: Really?

Captain Brien: Yeah. Yeah.

Jamie Kennedy: I’m trying to be normal.

Captain Brien: No, you gotta talk.

Jamie Kennedy: God! He wants me to be loud. I saw… Dude, come on, you kidding me? I can’t talk normal?

Captain Brien: No, you gotta–

Jamie Kennedy: You can’t hear all that?

Captain Brien: I want to make sure.

Jamie Kennedy: but they can’t. Dude, this lady was traveling with her daughter and the daughter was like man, we traveled so long. We took… It was five hours, two to drive to the airport and three on the flight. I’m like, that’s just one of my flights today.

Captain Brien: Right. Exactly.

Jamie Kennedy: I did two flights today. One flight yesterday.

Captain Brien: And you called me at 4 in the morning.

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah.

Captain Brien: And you were like yo, I want to change my flight.

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah.

Captain Brien: I was like, dude, who else am I gonna call to confirm any of this? Like, I’m the only idiot up at 4:30 a.m. listening to you.

Jamie Kennedy: And he was up and using like, exclamation points. Like, hey, buddy, I don’t know if we can G. Like you were up, dude.

Captain Brien: I usually am. I’m, like, ready to go. Why were you up? Were you still not gone to sleep or what?

Jamie Kennedy: No, I’m on west coast.

Captain Brien: Oh, so, yeah. So, it wasn’t frickin’ 4:30 a.m.?

Jamie Kennedy: Yes. Can you guys hear me? Do I have to talk like that? I don’t have to talk like that, do I?

Captain Brien: No. But I’m loud all the time. I’m Italian.

Jamie Kennedy: I know.

Captain Brien: You’re never loud, really.

Jamie Kennedy: I’m chill, bro. I’m loud on stage.

Captain Brien: Yeah. Yeah.

Jamie Kennedy: That’s where I get it out.

Captain Brien: That’s where you make it happen.

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah. And then online from Chill.

Captain Brien: This is my stage.

Jamie Kennedy: I know.

Captain Brien: I don’t get on stage.

Jamie Kennedy: I know. You want to though.

Captain Brien:I don’t.

Jamie Kennedy: You do.

Captain Brien: You think?

Jamie Kennedy: Come, dude you’re… Come on.

Captain Brien: This is purely for the entertainment of my followers.

Jamie Kennedy: That’s it.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah.

Captain Brien: Like, I have nothing else to do all day. I have no liquor to sell.

Jamie Kennedy: Nothing?

Captain Brien: No, I got…

Jamie Kennedy: You want to talk about your liquor?

Captain Brien: I do. I want to talk about it. Why would I not want to talk about that deliciousness? Sugar-free, Gluten-free, all-natural, Florida made.

Jamie Kennedy: It does… I’m not really drinking right now but it does look good.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Jamie Kennedy: It really does look clean. I have to be honest with you. I’m impressed with it, dude.

Captain Brien: It’s all organic, dude.

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah.

Captain Brien: I keep it nice. I’m doing the work.

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah.

Captain Brien: You know what I mean. Like, I want you to be healthy when you drink. Why are you not drinking right now? You doing a cleanse?

Jamie Kennedy: I dropped some weight and I feel good.

Captain Brien: You look good.

Jamie Kennedy: Thanks, bro.

Captain Brien: I like that.

Jamie Kennedy: Stop hitting

Captain Brien: I mean, it’s good. I’m gonna give you a little boop-boop

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah.

Captain Brien: on the boobie.

Jamie Kennedy: Nothing wrong with that. It’s consent.

Captain Brien: It is.

Jamie Kennedy: Dude, yeah, man, you’re liquor looks good.

Captain Brien: It’s really good. I mean, it’s only been four months and we’re basically all over Florida, now.

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah.

Captain Brien: We’re trying to break out of the state. I gotta get out of this big ass state.

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah.

Captain Brien: And then that… Then it’ll be on.

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah. Okay.

Captain Brien: I mean, you can’t… I mean, I gotta figure, like, L.A. wants a… the lowest calorie count vodka on the market, right?

Jamie Kennedy: Definitely.

Captain Brien: Sugar-free, gluten-free, so I’m trying to get into L.A.

Jamie Kennedy: Definitely.

Captain Brien: And Miami, has done well with it, but I still could do huge things.

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah.

Captain Brien: So, we’re working on it.

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah.

Captain Brien: And I’ve got guys like you helping me promote it.

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah, man.

Captain Brien: Like, how can that be a bad thing?

Jamie Kennedy: Dude, it looks beautiful. Barrel-aged bourbon.

Captain Brien: Rum.

Jamie Kennedy: Rum.

Captain Brien: In bourbon barrels. That’s–

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah. Bourbon rum.

Captain Brien: Yeah. We put the… We make the rum and then we smoke bourbon barrels and we age it in there for two months.

Captain Brien: It’s a good thing.

Jamie Kennedy: You know what I think that would be good? I’m not drinking right now but if I was I would take one of those KeVita drinks. You know what those are?

Captain Brien: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Jamie Kennedy: Apple cider, they have a ginger drink that’s so good. It’s natural. I bet with some of your bourbon or your rum–

Captain Brien:That’d be great.

Jamie Kennedy: Ooh. Like that would actually be refreshing–

Captain Brien: I like that.

Jamie Kennedy: And get you a little toasty.

Captain Brien: Yeah. What’s your thing? You rather…

Jamie Kennedy: Ooh. It didn’t–

Captain Brien: Yeah. The car stops itself.

Jamie Kennedy: I know.

Captain Brien: It’s good.

Jamie Kennedy: Oh, it did.

Captain Brien: Yeah. Yeah. That’s why the peo–

Jamie Kennedy: Really. Can we not u… If you don’t brake it we’ll try–

Captain Brien: I won’t break. Well, we gotta give it gas.

Jamie Kennedy: Can you tell your… What, you can get in an accident?

Captain Brien: No! Watch.

Jamie Kennedy: Please don’t.

Captain Brien: I’m gonna test it.

Jamie Kennedy: Please don’t.

Captain Brien: Look, I’m not touching it. I’m not touching it. I’m not touching it. I’m not doing nothing. Yeah. Look, it’ll stay right in. Watch.

Jamie Kennedy: Wow.

Captain Brien: Stop.

Jamie Kennedy: Okay.

Captain Brien: Look. Look. Look. Look. Complete stop, bro.

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah. Wow.

Captain Brien: That’s good right?

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah.

Captain Brien: And then it wants to tell me.

Jamie Kennedy: Damn.

Captain Brien: It told me.

Jamie Kennedy: Okay.

Captain Brien: Say, put your foot back on the brake.

Jamie Kennedy: It’s just weird.

Captain Brien: It drives like that. It’s good. It’s good. It helps with The Captain’s Log. That way I can, you know, focus fifty percent of the time. Yeah, I know, people messaging me. I wonder if there’s a reason it… I mean–

Jamie Kennedy: Uh-oh. I want to see.

Captain Brien: I hope that they can hear us. Can you guys hear us okay?

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah.

Captain Brien: Yeah. Are we sure?

Jamie Kennedy: We’re low key.

Captain Brien: Mia, Britney, because some people are messaging me on text and I just wanted to make sure. Sometimes that happens, like, if the mics are wacky or something.

Jamie Kennedy: Um. Yeah.

Captain Brien: People are like, yo, message. But I don’t know why I can’t really see the messages. I just see the people are watching. They’re watching but they’re not messaging? Oh, then maybe they are. Anyway, tell me about what’s been going on in your life these days, man.

Jamie Kennedy: Oh, man. I’ve been working on… I just got my special.

Captain Brien: Yeah. That’s awesome. Where’d you shoot it?

Jamie Kennedy: I shot it in Huntington Beach at a place called The Rec Room. It’s awesome.

Captain Brien: Really?

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah.

Captain Brien: Is it like one of those, like, rock night club, kinda comedy club kinda places? Or is it a straight theater?

Jamie Kennedy: No, it’s a new… It’s a club, named by this guy, Hunter, and he’s like a connoisseur of comedy. He’s also a comedian and he made a really intimate venue and it’s just–

Captain Brien: Really.

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah. It’s just awesome.

Captain Brien: Why didn’t you shoot it at my venue, that’s what I want to know?

Jamie Kennedy: Dude, I didn’t know I could.

Captain Brien: Oh, okay. Like I have a–

Jamie Kennedy: I would have.

Captain Brien: Oh, my God.

Jamie Kennedy: South Florida.

Captain Brien: I thought we were so tight, dude.

Jamie Kennedy: We can. I can come back and shoot like an extra hour.

Captain Brien: Yeah. We can shoot, like, the behind the scenes with the Captain.

Jamie Kennedy: I’ve got stuff at your place though. Some good heckles.

Captain Brien: Some good jokes, too.

Jamie Kennedy: There’s some people… I’ve had some good interaction. You know that.

Captain Brien: You have.

Jamie Kennedy: Those white women like their white wine out here, in Naples.

Captain Brien: That’s a good thing. You keep it real on stage and then they like to speak up.

Jamie Kennedy: I know. There’s nothing wrong with that ladies. This weekend let me get my jokes out before you interrupt.

Captain Brien: Yeah. He doesn’t need a sidekick.

Jamie Kennedy: But, you know it’s Easter weekend so, you know, let’s get your white wine on.

Captain Brien: How’d you get on stage the first time?

Jamie Kennedy: How?

Captain Brien: How did that happen? Jamie Kennedy wants to be a comedian or Jamie Kennedy just fell into it? What happened?

Jamie Kennedy: I was moved to L.A. and I was interested in Hollywood and I was an extra, right. You know what that is?

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Jamie Kennedy: And it was hard to become an extra, actually. There’s a lot of competition.

Captain Brien: Yeah. Everybody out there is like a server and they’re always extras everywhere.

Jamie Kennedy: Yes. So, it’s like, you know, hit you up and say we need a young high school student, you have these clothes or a security guard or whatever. You have to put yourself on avails. Anyway, I was kind of doing that, but it was hard. And my friend was just… works in a restaurant and the guy was like you’re funny, you should try stand-up and I didn’t know what it was. I knew what it was. Enough people told me and that’s when I was like… So, then I went to an open mic, I did it and I did good.

Captain Brien: Were you scared shitless?

Jamie Kennedy: Shitless. I had no idea at anything.

Captain Brien: Did you write down your jokes or did you just try to–?

Jamie Kennedy: Yes.

Captain Brien: You did.

Jamie Kennedy: I wrote down jokes and I also did Dana Carvey’s jokes.

Captain Brien: Were any of them any good beside Dana Carvey’s?

Jamie Kennedy: No, it was only Dana Carvey’s jokes.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Jamie Kennedy: That were work. And I was like, I have nothing and like a couple jokes from a joke book. And then, but like an old joke book.

Captain Brien: Right.

Jamie Kennedy: And then I was like, oh, okay. What I learned from that was I could stay on stage and I could deliver a joke and I could make a crowd of people laugh.

Captain Brien: Sure.

Jamie Kennedy: And then I was like, hmm. So, then I tried it again and–

Captain Brien: Half the challenge is keeping the audience in tune.

Jamie Kennedy: Yes.

Captain Brien: They have to listen to what you say and some people, if you can’t do that, it doesn’t matter how funny your joke is.

Jamie Kennedy: Yes.

Captain Brien: They have to be listening.

Jamie Kennedy: They have to be. And so, that worked and then the next time I did it, I did it at a Ramada Inn and I bombed.

Captain Brien: You did? Did you–

Jamie Kennedy: Horrifically.

Captain Brien:Then what, were you scared–

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah.

Captain Brien: Even more?

Jamie Kennedy: Then I didn’t do it for like six months.

Captain Brien: You took six months off. Did you write during those six months or did you say, like, I’m not doing it again, the hell with it?

Jamie Kennedy: Why would I do that? Why would I ever do that? That’s what I thought.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Jamie Kennedy: So, I started. I did it. I could do it. Did it again. Can’t do it. And then around 1991, I started again.

Captain Brien: You just got balls back and said I’m gonna go back on stage.

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah. A little bit. Like this. And then, on and off open mic here and open mic there. Then 1992, I committed and I said, I’m gonna go to this open mic every day. There was an open mic every day from 5:00 to 7:00.

Captain Brien: Where was that?

Jamie Kennedy: It was called the L.A. Cabaret. It’s on Ventura Boulevard. And like now, comics pay for open mics which is crazy to me.

Captain Brien: They pay to get on stage.

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah. They pay.

Captain Brien: It’s so interesting because I’ll run an open mic and I’ll have literally like 40 people show up and every day goes… There’s not a day that goes by where someone’s like, when’s your open mic? So, I’ll have like 40 people sign-up, not show up. And then like literally, 15 people will show up and it’s the same 15 people that have been doing my open mics for ten years. It’s like what happened to the other 40 or the emails that I get every day? People saying, I want to do an open mic man. It’s so cool. You know what it is, they love the idea of being a comedian and doing the open mic but then when it comes down to getting on stage, I think that they don’t realize how much balls it takes and they get scared at the last minute.

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah, maybe.

Captain Brien: Right? But out in L.A. it’s so competitive they’re paying to be in open mics.

Jamie Kennedy: Yes.

Captain Brien: You’re kidding me.

Jamie Kennedy: No.

Captain Brien: That’s like shelf space at like a liquor store. They’re like, oh, you want to be on my shelf, you gotta pay me to sell your product.

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah, man. I mean, listen, I’m fortunate. I mean I’m doing what I–

Captain Brien: Well, of course–

Jamie Kennedy: But I’ve never… When I was coming up you never had to do that.

Captain Brien: Right.

Jamie Kennedy: It was open mics at coffee houses and you’d sign up and sometimes you wouldn’t get picked but you wouldn’t have to pay. You know. And then if you started, got one laugh or two laughs a set, then people started noticing you and you go okay come back and–

Captain Brien: You’d always be on the roster for that open mic.

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah. Like I–

Captain Brien: Who’s the guy that’s running the racket that you have to pay? That’s awesome.

Jamie Kennedy: Dude.

Captain Brien: That’s a great–

Jamie Kennedy:just gave you an idea. I just gave you an idea.

Captain Brien: You want to buy six days time start paying the piper. Captain’s ready. Right here. Put it on there!

Jamie Kennedy: I don’t know because you have to have a real crowd and you can’t just pay for an open mic, no offense to the people doing it, and then have all comedians. You have to have real people, in my opinion.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Jamie Kennedy: That’s my opinion. But, like, that’s what it was. The open mic, when I was doing it, was mostly comedians with some real people and I would sign up every day. We’d get picked like three to four times and I would clean up the club and whatever just to get that stage time. And that’s how I started. Then once I did that, and I was like… The guy was like, okay, you know I was young and you can just show your diligence and that’s how I did it. Then he like… Each day, if you got a joke to work and a teeny bit better and that’s how you build.

Captain Brien: That’s so interesting, because we’re like in a comedy vortex in Florida. The open micers think that, like, they can just get on stage anywhere, any time for any reason. Whether they stink it up or not. Like, they just keep having ability to get on stage. It’s… But we produce a lot of good comics in Florida, right?

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah. Obviously.

Captain Brien: Yeah. And then you go out to L.A. and New York and it’s competitive as hell, right?

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah. It is. It’s… Yeah, well, it’s the mecca. L.A. might be the hottest place in the world for comedy. I think it is right now.

Captain Brien: I think it is.

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah.

Captain Brien: I think it is.

Jamie Kennedy: But it’s… Look, I mean, you know, comedy is it’s own journey. You can start here and get good here and move then–

Captain Brien: How did you get the show, The Jamie Kennedy Experience? Which by the way, as a kid, was one of my favs. I mean, I loved it. Absolutely loved it.

Jamie Kennedy: As a kid?

Captain Brien: Well, I mean, no just coming up. Like, you know, MTV and everything else. It’s just Jamie Kennedy was the jam. That was so dope. How did that come about?

Jamie Kennedy: I did Scream and then I got, you know, I did Scream 2 and I got hot off of that. And then, you know my agents were like, you should do TV and I was like, oh, okay, well, I’m doing movies. And they were like, you can do TV and they knew I had another side to me. So, I always had this idea to do some kind of sketch show–

Captain Brien: So, was that your idea?

Jamie Kennedy: Partially. It was partially my idea to do sketches and characters that the producers of MADD TV got involved and we thought of like how to do it with a hidden camera angle and so it was like hidden camera meets SNL. So, it was like us doing live sketches with real people watching and not knowing. And we developed it for a while then boom, it was like an underground cult–

Captain Brien: Yeah, it was like a hit.

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah. So, I was lucky but I–

Captain Brien: Was Scream the one that launched you or was it that, that really…? I mean people had to recognize you from Scream but then when you said the Jamie Kennedy Experience, I think that’s what–

Jamie Kennedy: Well, that’s–

Captain Brien: What really must have put you on the map, right?

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah. Scream did, is like, oh, your Randy, Jamie Kennedy. Oh, your Jamie Kennedy, because that was my show–

Captain Brien: Right.

Jamie Kennedy: With my name on it. Yeah. But that was the one that really, Jamie Kennedy every week on TV.

Captain Brien: Right, exactly. That’s when the big checks started rolling in.

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah. I said, I tell anyone who’s on TV put your name in the title.

Captain Brien: Of course.

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah. It helps.

Captain Brien: Executive producer.

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah. I mean. Jamie Kennedy.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Jamie Kennedy: That’s so–

Captain Brien: I put my name on everything.

Jamie Kennedy: Captain Brien’s Barrel-Aged Rum.

Captain Brien: Yeah, dude.

Jamie Kennedy: No.

Captain Brien: Vodka, barrel-aged rum, I do it all.

Jamie Kennedy: Barreling, rum.

Captain Brien: Yeah. Yeah.

Jamie Kennedy: But not bourbon.

Captain Brien: No. It’s barrel-aged rum. I switched it up, dude.

Jamie Kennedy: Alright, man.

Captain Brien: Everyone wants to be crafty, so I do the little hand crafted cocktail right in the rum, baby.

Jamie Kennedy: I love it. The burnt, the burnt taste.

Captain Brien: What, do you have sun? These windows are illegally tinted and the sun is still coming through.

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah. It’s pretty strong.

Captain Brien: Yeah. You can put this like this. The lighting guy, right now is struggling.

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah.

Captain Brien: I got to talk to these camera guys, I tell you. They should be doing more.

Jamie Kennedy: Captain’s Log.

Captain Brien: Alright guys, so listen, you know my guest Jamie Kennedy from Scream, from the Jamie Kennedy Experience, from everything under the sun. Let’s face it. This dude’s a superstar and we are… Look it, a lot of people are watching right now.

Jamie Kennedy: Are we doing good?

Captain Brien: Yeah. A lot of people are watching.

Jamie Kennedy: How high is it? 114 people.

Captain Brien: Yeah. They like you.

Jamie Kennedy: Living the dream.

Captain Brien: We can’t go off now. We have to stay live because so many people started watching.

Jamie Kennedy: Wow. Is this a good number?

Captain Brien: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Jamie Kennedy: Alright.

Captain Brien: They’re jumping. I have a feeling–

Jamie Kennedy: Do they have questions?

Captain Brien: Ask me a question and we will tell you who’s on right now.

Jamie Kennedy: That a kid? That a question?

Captain Brien: So–

Jamie Kennedy: This is a kid.

Captain Brien:So, back in the day, back in the day, did you really think that you were gonna be famous or did you just all of a sudden want to be a comedian because you got that little bug when you went on stage at the open mic?

Captain Brien: Why’d you go to L.A.? I mean you moved out to L.A., right? Because you wanted to be a movie star.

Jamie Kennedy: I wanted to be famous.

Captain Brien: But why’d you know, why’d you want to be famous? Like a movie star? How did you know that? Were you in like dramas as a kid? How did you know?

Jamie Kennedy: No, I mean, I’ll be honest with you. I’ll be real with you. It’s like there was obviously something lacking inside of me that wanted attention.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Jamie Kennedy: And I was always doing like voices and either people thought I was really funny or really weird. And I could never have a regular job because I always get fired.

Captain Brien: How many jobs did you get fired from?

Jamie Kennedy: 36. I have–

Captain Brien: 36.

Jamie Kennedy: I have a journal of it.

Captain Brien: No way.

Jamie Kennedy: From Red Lobster to Domino’s, I got fired from most of them. Yeah.

Jamie Kennedy: Besides–

Captain Brien: Red Lobster, they wish they kept you man.

Jamie Kennedy: I know.

Captain Brien: Can you imagine the promos you could have shot for those suckers?

Jamie Kennedy: Cheddar bay, baby.

Captain Brien: Yeah.

Jamie Kennedy: Um, but I was always like, I always felt like I could tell the boss more what to do and I hated people did the–

Captain Brien: That works well.

Jamie Kennedy: I know. I didn’t feel like they understood what they were doing.

Captain Brien: Yeah. They didn’t know how to run their own business.

Jamie Kennedy: Uh-uh.

Captain Brien: You knew–

Jamie Kennedy: Well, I just knew–

Captain Brien: As an eighteen year old server.

Jamie Kennedy: how to be efficient. Seventeen. I was, I was a busboy.

Captain Brien: That’s awesome. That’s awesome.

Jamie Kennedy: But, you know. I mean, and then you start, you know. I don’t know. Then once you try it boom! Then I got a little encouragement, even though when I bombed, somebody would go, yo, you’re funny. Even though you bombed. And I was like delusional enough that I was like huh–

Captain Brien: Oh, that’s great. Yeah. And, but no, were you one of those guys who came off stage and thought you crushed it or were you like… How ’bout that? How does that work?

Jamie Kennedy: I try not to be that person but I know–

Captain Brien: Dude, I killed it tonight. I’m like, yeah, I herd six laughs. How does that…? How do you in your mind think?

Jamie Kennedy: That’s real. Actually, I’m the opposite. I think I… Well, no.

Captain Brien: You do… I know now. No, now you’re on a this like, how’d I do? And I’m like the place was dying laughing. What do you mean how’d you do?

Jamie Kennedy: I feel that, um, no, there’s people that there just comedians that bomb years, you know and the kill years and all of that. But I feel that I was a person that would feel when I got a laugh. I was like, ooh that was a tough set but that one area was good, right?

Captain Brien: Yeah. Yeah.

Jamie Kennedy: But, no. I try to keep it kind of semi-honest opinion about myself. But, yeah, you’re right, I probably have been delusional at times.

Captain Brien: Really?

Jamie Kennedy: That I’ve done better than I thought I did.

Captain Brien: I like when I make a post and I’m like, this one’s gonna get so many likes and then it’s like dead. And I’m like, damn that sucks!

Jamie Kennedy: Yeah.

Captain Brien: How ’bout that, dude? That’s like a perfect judge right, everyone online, on Instagram, on Facebook, now. If you get a lot of likes then you’re freaking… Oh, I think my buddy Josh Pray, who by the way is dope. You need to meet Josh. Superstar on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube. He must have shared it because that’s why so many people jumped on.

Jamie Kennedy: Alright.

Captain Brien: I’m guessing. Josh, what’s up, buddy?

Jamie Kennedy: Hey, buddy.

Captain Brien: I can’t see the comments right now for some reason. But anyway, this is The Captain’s Log. I have Jamie Kennedy as my guest. Love you guys watching. Check it out. You can follow Jamie Kennedy. One more time how–?

Jamie Kennedy: TheJamieKennedy on Instagram. JamieKennedy on Twitter. Facebook is BlueCheck. You know. Jamie Kennedy.

Captain Brien: You got to follow him guys. Check me out at any time. You can hear The Captain’s Log podcast. I shoot it every day. Give me a like. If you want to follow me, I would love that. But in the mean time, we’re going right now. Jamie Kennedy will be at Off the Hook Comedy Club this weekend Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Get tickets. Www.Offthehookcomedy.com. We out. I’ll be back tomorrow. Love you the most.